Adulting for Amateurs: Misadventures of a Geriatric Millennial

by Jess H. Gutierrez

From the author of A Product of Genetics (and Day Drinking) comes a rowdy and hilarious new collection of essays on life as an elder millennial, filled with life lessons on everything from marriage to parenting to rolling with the punches when Gen Z mocks your TikTok dances

In Adulting for Amateurs, Jess H. Gutierrez marvels at how—we can’t avoid the fact anymore—her cohort, the millennials, are approaching middle age. While 1998 seems like just yesterday, we are now grown-ups who feel like we’re still growing up. And at forty-two, Jess has quite a trove of stories to tell.

Jess is leaning into her geriatric millennial years and reflects on how growing up does not necessarily bestow one with maturity. When the dinner covers were lifted to reveal vertically posed sausages, hundreds of the fanciest wedding guests, including the mayor, were treated to a demure and refined Jess’s explosive guffaws. While Jess’s brothers now have wholesome families and responsible jobs, she can’t stop one-upping them, even if it gets her brother nearly fired by a potty-brained prank right before he scrubs into surgery. When Jess and her wife booked their first grown-up vacation, they discovered too late that their Hawaiian trip was to a Mormon resort and therefore completely alcohol free. So Jess and her wife bravely put on their big-girl panties—and slunk off in a makeshift escape from this cheerful teetotaler paradise.

Turns out, even as a responsible homeowner with a mortgage, three kids, and a yard of chickens, Jess might not have matured much beyond her twenties. She’s still the woman who in an earlier era survived queer-dating fails and aughts-era pop culture moments—ultimately discovering that an illegal rave cannot heal a broken heart and that vampire-romance franchises are terrible dating manuals for a budding trailer park lesbian.

Altogether these are the makings of delightful material for this bawdy—sometimes poignant and, dare we say, occasionally wise—new listen.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Essays

304 pages, Hardcover

Expected publication April 21, 2026

Reviews

[Sophia Kenward · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley & the publishers for this ARC!

I enjoyed this book a lot! I may not be a millennial (and oh boy, this is a very millennial title for a book!), but I feel like a lot of this book is universal. I will never not laugh at stories of lesbians dating men before realizing they're gay as I have plenty of my own, and there are some pretty great ones here.

I wasn't expecting this book to make me laugh as much as it did, although not every chapter was a hit for me (the first chapter after the introduction in particular was a big miss and made me unnecessarily worried for the rest of the book). The chapter on the Hawaii vacation made me laugh out loud.

[Cari · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gutierrez returns with another laugh-out-loud memoir. I was laughing so hard while reading this that I almost woke up my family in our hotel room over the Labor Day holiday. I am not sure if it would appeal to members of other generations, but I am a geriatric millennial and related closely to Gutierrez's experiences. Pretty much if a book makes me snort with laughter, it's going to get five stars. I love Gutierrez's voice and candid recollections of the times in her life that embarrassed and challenged her (as well as triumphs!)

[Daniel · Rating 4 out of 5]

THis review originally published in Looking For a Good Book. Rated 4.5 of 5

I don't read as many essay collections as I'd like. There was a time when I read a lot of essay collections (David Sedaris, Augusten Burroughs, Bill Bryson, Nick Hornby, Steve Almond, et al) but I've fallen away from it. If I'm not reading an essay for educational purposes (for instance, I have enjoyed The Best American Science and Nature Writing collections that appear annually), then I'm probably looking for something reflective of human nature, preferably humorous and relatable. That last word is key.

"Relatable."

I began to feel less and less able to relate to David Sedaris's work; so, too, Burroughs. They're both talented and well-deserving of their followings, but they didn't really speak to me. And the humorists sometimes try too hard to be funny or spend an entire essay setting up one joke. And yet, I keep trying, keep reading essays, and keep looking for 'new' authors to try.

Adulting for Amateurs just had a ring to it that appealed to me. I've supposedly been an adult for more than four decades, and yet yeah, I still feel like an amateur at it. Will I ever get it right? And ... sorry Jess Gutierrez ... I'd never heard of the author, but that doesn't mean anything to me.

Honestly, I came VERY close to putting the book away and letting the publisher know that I wouldn't be reading the book and writing any review. The first couple of essays "Same, Girl. Same." and "Garage Sale Gold Mine" didn't really speak to me - a sexagenarian male. Not being female, not being (any longer) in my forties, and not being gay, I thought Jess Gutierrez wasn't going to be for me.

But I stuck with her and as she wrote less specifically about topics I couldn't relate to, I enjoyed her more. Although I don't recall her writing when she recognized or admitted she was gay, she does write about some of her (failed?) heterosexual encounters, often with humorous results ("Ill-Fated Fellatio" and "Highfalutin Phallus" pretty much tells you what's about to be discussed).

And while I can't quite identify with "Vampire Fangirl" specifically, I can relate to youthful fan sexualization of certain stars or icons.

I've got a couple of decades on Gutierrez, but I'm not so old and doddering that I don't remember the challenges of child-rearing and the recognition of getting (or appearing) old all of a sudden (and yeah, it did seem sudden, darn it). The essays "In My Aging Era" and "The Best Worst Days" capture some very universal reflections on getting old.

"A Once-in-a-Lifetime Opportunity" is something maybe a only a married couple can identify with. It's an anything-but-sexy sex conversation that's gross and funny at the same time. Same goes for "In Sickness and in Sweatpants."

The (sagging) bottom line is that I enjoyed these essays. Fun and funny, they often had me nodding my head, recognizing the universality of being an adult. I don't think Jess Gutierrez and I are particularly similar, but what makes us (old) humans, isn't different at all.

I'd like to note that Gutierrez's Acknowledgements reads much like an essay itself - fun and funny. If you don't typically read acknowledgements, first, you should, but second, read this one.

Looking for a good book? Do you feel like being an adult is hard? That nobody gets you or your troubles? I've got news for you, Jess H. Gutierrez understands and writes about it in her collection of essays, Adulting for Amateurs.

I received a digital copy of this book from the publisher, through Netgalley, in exchange for an honest review.

[Richard Propes · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's safe to say I was expecting the humor to be found within the pages of Jess H. Gutierez's "Adulting for Amateurs: Misadventures of a Geriatric Millennial," her latest collection of essays on life with her central theme this time encompassing her existence as a now elder millennial.

At 42 and approaching middle age, Gutierrez leans into this stage of her life with more than a little humor and a surprising amount of sentimentality. That's where I was most surprised by "Adulting for Amateurs" - its irreverent yet unabashed heart. Gutierrez has kinda sorta grown up, a responsible homeowner with a mortgage, three kids, chickens, and a lengthy relationship with a wife we can't help but adore by the end of "Adulting for Amateurs" whether Gutierrez is talking about vertically posed sausages, an absolutely inspired "first grown-up vacation," or any number of other topics approached by Gutierrez throughout this consistently engaging read.

If you're timid, you may want to brace yourself for occasionally naughty and bawdy set of essays and Gutierrez's unique perspectives on life, love, relationships, parenting, and existing in the world as a queer geriatric millennial.

"Adulting for Amateurs" is the kind of book that makes you want to take a trip back and visit Gutierrez's last essay collection, "A Product of Genetics (and Day Drinking)," and that's what I'm getting ready to do right now!

[Logan Hutto · Rating 5 out of 5]

Don't expect to pick up this book, and know the answers to adulthood by the end, but do know, nobody knows what is going on. 4.5/5 Stars

Jess continued to make me laugh, so thoroughly throughout this book so many times that my wife gave me a crazy look from across the room wondering what the heck I was reading (she is not a reader). This collection of essays, although written for the millennial generation (specifically the elder millennials), was still so relevant and funny to me as an "elder" Gen Z'er, who barely relates to my own generation, and definitely has no clue what the Gen Alphas are doing in their day-to-day lives.

The thing that this book with share with all of us exploring adulthood, whether that be 1 year in, or 20 years in, is that really none of know what we are doing, and if you think you know, you're probably wrong. There might have been some dated references in there that I had to google, but overall the book was relatable, comedic, and insightful into the mind of the average adult in a way that isn't discussed enough in our world. Show us the bad side, but balance it with the good, Gutierrez does that with ease.

Thank you to Tiny Reparations Books and the publishing team for providing me this ARC via NetGalley and Edelweiss in return for an HONEST review.

[yarnandprose · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author and I have a lot in common: three kids, married, within a five year age difference, and we both have Southern backgrounds.

There are a lot of very relatable feelings in this book. Each chapter is an anecdote related to feeling like an “elder millennial.” It is a strange space to be in. We don’t feel young, but we also don’t feel old. We like to dress in cool clothes, but hate crop tops.

The stories from her mid-twenties are very colorful and wild and there were parts I found funny. The only thing I kept having trouble with was the tone and language in the book. Her tone is very direct and boisterous. The stories are peppered with foul language and crass imagery. I can absolutely see someone else reading these stories as laugh out loud hilarious, but this type of writing style is not personally for me.

She does shine a truth on the fact we still don’t feel like we know what we are doing despite being declared adults with responsibilities. Every word in the book comes across as genuine and I raise my glass to her for pulling it all together.

*** Many thanks to Netgalley and publishers for providing a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. ***

[Jaclyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn’t know how I’d feel about this one going in. I don’t know how I feel about the word “adulting.” Ironically, I associate use of this term more with younger Millennials.

However, I had a lot of fun reading this essay collection. Gutierrez is self-aware, vulnerable, and laugh-out-loud funny in a string of misadventure tales that live up to the name. The long list of shout-outs to various Gen X and Elder Millennial pop culture touchstones in the beginning felt a little tedious, but once we got rolling I did not want to get off the ride.

That is probably my biggest hangup with this book. I love Elder Millennial (or Oregon Trail Millennial, as I prefer) and Gen X cultural references as much as the next guy, but Gutierrez occasionally leans too hard on them. It can feel a little reach-y, like she's demonstrating her generational cred. This is unnecessary. She has plenty of subtle opportunities to weave in-jokey references in, and her voice is plenty strong enough without falling back on devices.

All in all, though, I was thankful for the opportunity to read an ARC of this book via NetGalley. It was a super fun read from a unique perspective.

[whatjordanreads · Rating 1 out of 5]

Adulting for Amatures
⭐️💫
📚 Memoir
🎶 Wonderwall - Oasis

One sentence synopsis:
A collection of essays on life as an elder millennial.

Book Review:
Not even the constant barrage of childhood millennial nostalgia could keep me interested in this book. And oh how much I wanted it too! It pains me.

I think with this book, I just realized that memoirs are extremely specific for me. I learned that I like memoirs by famous people, and by people who have led very interesting lives. A memoir by somebody who grew up similar to me in the same time frame pretty much just doesn’t cut it.

Y’all it also pains me greatly to say (coming from a self-proclaimed nostalgic millennial that will never stop listening to 90s music and reminiscing of the past) there were too many millennial references 😱. It was fun to read for the first three pages and then after that it felt so unbelievably forced.

Also, yall know I know a spicy book, but this book almost felt vulgar and exploitative. Like her sexual experiences were described in a way to shock and awe.

Trust me, no one us more surprised I didn’t love this one than me 😩

✨Thank you @tinyrepbooks for my #gifted copy!

[Janelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a fun & nostalgic read. I hadn't read Gutierrez's previous work before picking this up but was immediately hooked by the cover and title. I'm a mid-90s on-the-cusp Millennial (I refuse to call myself a Zillennial) but still resonated with MANY of the experiences she shared. I keep wondering if I'll ever feel like I've reached that point of being a "Real Adult ™" and I found her perspective on the impostor syndrome of becoming and "feeling like an adult" so reassuring. Several of her essays had me laughing out loud and I'll absolutely be keeping an eye out for whatever she publishes next.

Thank you to Dutton, Tiny Reparations Books & Netgalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Anna Gerard · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley for the advance copy of this book

As a millennial and a true 90s baby I really wanted to like this book. But all I can say is this book was fine. I found some of her stories hilarious (the whole trip to Hawaii had me laughing), but overall I feel like this book was geared more towards older millennials. The writing style took some getting used to, very colorful, crass and descriptive; and there were moments where I wanted to DNF this book, but I’m glad I pushed through. I can’t say I would recommend this book to everyone but if someone is curious, by all means don’t let my review stop you from picking this up.

[Justin Bitner · Rating 3 out of 5]

Many thanks to NetGalley for the eARC of this book.

I was intrigued with this book based off the cover and title, but I have to admit that it ended up being middle-of-the-road for me.

Gutierrez shares essays recounting her upbringing and her stories with friends, work, romantic partners, etc. References to millennial and millennial-adjacent things are sprinkled in, but nothing really ever delivered that sharp laugh.

Overall, a light, quick read but not one I would necessarily revisit or recommend.

[Lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this one. I’m a slightly different age from the author so our frame of reference is a little bit different, but there were a few stories I really related to (the Twilight chapter especially). I think if you’re on the border of Gen X and millennial life, you’ll appreciate it even more. The author has a very distinctive voice/sense of humor. It didn’t totally resonate with me, but if you appreciate bold, in-your-face writing, you’ll enjoy it. Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for an ARC of this book!

[Adri Holt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Getting older is absolute bullshit.” –FACTS.

Everyone has their own journey. Everyone has experienced something that they’re not proud of. This author lays it all out on the line for all to see, from childhood to her current life, she tells it like it is. She is hilarious, self-deprecating, and wonderfully relatable.

If you need some millennial nostalgia and a lot of laughs. This one is for you.

#ThxNetGalley #JessHGutierrez #AdultingforAmateurs

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a free DRC of this book through Netgalley and the publisher. I am a younger Gen X and not a Geriatric Millenial, but many of the pop culture references still hit home. This is often a bawdy book so maybe not your speed if you are easily offended. I didn't really laugh during this book, but it earned some chuckles. The situations were entertaining and kept my interest.

[Steffany · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun read! The author is a little older than me but the way she recounts her younger years is so relatable and nostalgic! Honestly, it was like a humorous trip down memory lane while also commiserating with your bestie about how aging snuck up on you lol 🤪

[Sheila · Rating 1 out of 5]

I received a free copy of, Adulting for Amateurs, by Jess H. Gutierrez, from the publisher and Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Millennials are getting older that is true. I could not get into this book at all, I could not finish it.

[Courtney Pityer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I won this in a giveaway i will read and review at a different time.