A haunting gay love story where grief becomes devotion, memory becomes myth, and a young man must choose between the ghost of his past and the truth of who he is.
With tension and heart in equal measure, Mario Elías’s Beloved Disciples is a luminous, haunting portrait of grief, devotion, and the blurred edges of memory. In a sun-bleached Caribbean town, Simón is haunted by the ghost of his lover Albi, by the weight of family, and by a faith that no longer comforts. Once bound together by whispered prayers and saltwater kisses, Simón and Albi carved a secret world from the shadows. But when Albi dies unexpectedly, that world begins to unravel.
Now, Simón finds Albi in the rectory where they made love, in the queer sanctuaries of their found family, in the ache of things unsaid. As his estranged Catholic mother reappears with promises and expectations, Simón is torn between the love that consumes him and the version of himself he’s been running from. Past and present bleed together, memory distorts, and reality slips into something more uncertain—more sacred.
A day-in-the-life tale laced with longing, Beloved Disciples is a fevered meditation on inheritance, identity, and the desperate need to belong. For readers of Douglas Stuart’s Shuggie Bain, Fernanda Melchor’s Hurricane Season, and André Aciman’s Call Me By Your Name, this debut hums with raw beauty and tender, ruinous love.
Come for the CALL ME BY YOUR NAME vibes, stay for the beautiful prose and rich characters. I read Mario Elías’s stunning debut with my heart in my throat. A lush and lyrical story of love, loss, and family, Beloved Disciples is like watching a honey-hued film that flows back and forth in time. Here, desire is fierce and bright, pain is smoothed over with poetry, and first love is built of moments that are sacred like a secret church garden. The struggles of faith, family, and self-acceptance will resonate with so many queer readers. I was completely transported to the world and its characters, but it’s the voice of Simón as he speaks of his love for Albi that will stay with me. You can feel their love ache and grow across the pages like an Impressionistic painting—told through bold strokes of color that seem to change in the shifting light.
I’ve reread this book a few times now and I’m still finding new connections and pieces to this beautifully told novel. A queer story about grief and belonging and all the little nuances that fit in between. I have cried more to this book then I can count (in a good way)! Easily one of my favorite books of all time. Amazing writing and storytelling. I can’t put it down! Go read it if you haven’t yet!
‘You can tell when something is made with love. It bleeds through everything’
Gonna be so for real if you’re a queer person who’s grown up in the church specifically within Catholicism, but truly any religion this will strike such a chord with you.
I loved this book so much no words. Lots of tears.
I can’t remember the last time a book left me so torn. I spent most of the book attempting to sympathise with Simòn and finding myself, instead, blaming him. But I fell in love with Albi immediately. I thought I was reading the book wrong, but by the end I realised that it was just that good of a story - the use of the first person affected my relationship to Simòn - I was in his head and therefore his shortcomings became my own, seen as an outsider. I don’t know if i’m making sense, the tears haven’t dried yet and I know I will process the story for a long time. I love reading, though. That’s for sure.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
From the first pages I knew I had a very special text in my hands. This novel is written with absolute beauty and sophistication, and every character is built to perfectly detailed individuality. I felt the sand under my toes, tasted the mangoes from the shoreline trees, and felt the heartwrenching pain and desperation plaguing Simón. It was not an easy read, in fact it took me almost two months to finish it, at times overwhelmed by the story as I was also dealing with my own breakup. I felt myself healing and getting over my loss alongside Simón. Beloved Disciples is a genuine work of art queering catholic iconography and developping a rich emotional world into a complex fragrant bloom.
This book is a beautiful heart-wrenching story that captures the essence of true love in its purest form. It takes readers on an emotional journey of self discovery. While the story carries moments of deep heartbreak it reminds us that the pain was worth it because of the love they experienced. The book highlights the power of love, healing, and personal growth, leaving you inspired by the courage it takes to feel worthy and good about oneself. A touching and meaningful read that stays with you long after the final page.
Loss, heartbreak, grief that feels insurmountable; expectations, societal pressures and norms; the versions of ourselves that we create for others, trying to find and set-free the version that is real; family, both birth and found; and love, consuming, soul-crushing, life-saving love.
I am unwell, in the best of ways, broken apart and put back together.
This story is a gift, and I will be forever grateful for it.
Beautiful, haunting, thought-provoking. This debut novel by author Mario Elías will leave you to wonder what love really is, and how grief can intensify those feelings.