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Atom Heart John Beloved
Award winner Atom Heart John Beloved chronicles the lives of two boys who become friends at age thirteen. The story is told by eighteen-year-old John, who quietly whispers to his best friend one night in bed, "Do me." This novel is a breathtaking love story and an intense coming of age story that resembles no other book. John's narrative voice is one of the most unique in gay literature. Atom Heart John Beloved is literate, intimate, erotic, and delightful, delivering unexpected moments of grace.
272 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 30, 2012
12 people are currently reading
868 people want to read
About the author
Luke Hartwell
38 books61 followersReaders can track Luke Hartwell's book releases on the Watersgreen House website. Luke's books are available from Barnes & Noble, Apple, Kobo, Gardners, Baker & Taylor, Smashwords, Scribd, Odilo, and OverDrive.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 87 reviews
March 3, 2019
What a bust.
I haven't read any reviews beforehand, but I read the blurb and got super excited at the mention of "Rainbow Award winner" which by itself was already enough to set this bar very high.
But that was not all, besides the "Rainbow Award winner" mention, was stated, "John's narrative voice is one of the most unique in gay literature."
Dad worked for an established electrician several years before starting his own company. Matt works for him regularly now and will someday take over the business, I imagine. Matt is going to school part time now so that he will eventually be certified too. He already knows just about everything there is to know, but it helps to be listed in the phone book as certified. I just work for Dad enough to keep myself in gas and date money.
*******************************
Usually Nathan or Mary was with me. Mom had taught herself how to make some Mexican and South American dishes, and she did a decent job of it. I loved her chicken enchiladas. She was a great cook. We were a lucky family. I felt sorry for my friends who had parents who could not cook good meals. That was not us. We rarely ate out because the food at home was much better and of course cheaper and healthier. But when we did eat out as a family, we usually came here. I also loved variety, so I placed one order for taco de carne asada, one taco de carnitas, and one taco al carbon and a side of rancho beans. The rancho beans here were loaded with onion, tomato and cilantro. Perfection.
********************************
Does this voice sound unique to you?
Well, I must be deaf because I can’t hear the uniqueness mentioned.
“But we both know I want to. And we both know you want it. And we both know you want to do it to me too. And we both know I want it. And we both know that even if I was the only one of us who wanted it, you couldn’t stop me.”
At this point, I felt a Déjà vu of reading a Kristen Ashley book. One of those moments where you have to read her same sentence twice.
I am here frying my brain trying to make some sense about John's narrative voice being one of the most unique in gay literature.
I honestly don't know how I finished this book. I had a hard time trying to connect with the guys, and their story and I ended up completely detached from it all. I found the characterisation poor. We get a reasonable pic of John, but who the hell was Natan? What about their lives? Interaction with family, school and friends? There was so much missing.
I hardly toss 1 star but if I am to be honest, I can't find a single thing to praise about this story. I didn't enjoy it at all.
Peace!
I haven't read any reviews beforehand, but I read the blurb and got super excited at the mention of "Rainbow Award winner" which by itself was already enough to set this bar very high.
But that was not all, besides the "Rainbow Award winner" mention, was stated, "John's narrative voice is one of the most unique in gay literature."
Dad worked for an established electrician several years before starting his own company. Matt works for him regularly now and will someday take over the business, I imagine. Matt is going to school part time now so that he will eventually be certified too. He already knows just about everything there is to know, but it helps to be listed in the phone book as certified. I just work for Dad enough to keep myself in gas and date money.
*******************************
Usually Nathan or Mary was with me. Mom had taught herself how to make some Mexican and South American dishes, and she did a decent job of it. I loved her chicken enchiladas. She was a great cook. We were a lucky family. I felt sorry for my friends who had parents who could not cook good meals. That was not us. We rarely ate out because the food at home was much better and of course cheaper and healthier. But when we did eat out as a family, we usually came here. I also loved variety, so I placed one order for taco de carne asada, one taco de carnitas, and one taco al carbon and a side of rancho beans. The rancho beans here were loaded with onion, tomato and cilantro. Perfection.
********************************
Does this voice sound unique to you?
Well, I must be deaf because I can’t hear the uniqueness mentioned.
“But we both know I want to. And we both know you want it. And we both know you want to do it to me too. And we both know I want it. And we both know that even if I was the only one of us who wanted it, you couldn’t stop me.”
At this point, I felt a Déjà vu of reading a Kristen Ashley book. One of those moments where you have to read her same sentence twice.
I am here frying my brain trying to make some sense about John's narrative voice being one of the most unique in gay literature.
I honestly don't know how I finished this book. I had a hard time trying to connect with the guys, and their story and I ended up completely detached from it all. I found the characterisation poor. We get a reasonable pic of John, but who the hell was Natan? What about their lives? Interaction with family, school and friends? There was so much missing.
I hardly toss 1 star but if I am to be honest, I can't find a single thing to praise about this story. I didn't enjoy it at all.
Peace!
November 12, 2014
I'd like to offer a cogent review of this book, but I can't do it. Maybe some other time. For now I'll just list a few random feelings I had while reading it.
1. Anger - John does things that are inexcusable.
2. Hatred - John is the least likable protagonist I've ever read. I truly despised him.
3. Disgust - The things that happen to John and other characters... just NO.
4. Pity - Eventually, I saw through the game John was playing on himself. He's actually a rather pathetic boy.
More than anything else, I'm offended by this book. I moved from distaste to disgust to being just offended by this whole sordid mess. I will never, ever read this book again.
And, yes, five stars. I want to reward the author with my respect for a job very well done.
Thank you, Lena, for the recommendation.
Thank you, Mark, for reading this with me.
1. Anger - John does things that are inexcusable.
2. Hatred - John is the least likable protagonist I've ever read. I truly despised him.
3. Disgust - The things that happen to John and other characters... just NO.
4. Pity - Eventually, I saw through the game John was playing on himself. He's actually a rather pathetic boy.
More than anything else, I'm offended by this book. I moved from distaste to disgust to being just offended by this whole sordid mess. I will never, ever read this book again.
And, yes, five stars. I want to reward the author with my respect for a job very well done.
Thank you, Lena, for the recommendation.
Thank you, Mark, for reading this with me.
August 11, 2016
Oh...I am beyond pissed. I am in rant mode. There be cursing ahead and I am not sorry.
What did I just read? A book with a misleading blurb is what I read. This was a fucking mess. A complete and disgusting fucking mess. John our narrator is a self-aware and egotistical arrogant ass. He is. He says it himself. What he does in this book in the beginning I could forgive him for. He was confused, or whatever. I get it. I can suspend reality for that. But the shit he pulls the last half of the book is unforgivable. Unbelievable. Just. No. No. No. No. No. NOOO!
I thought I was getting a complicated and angst filled love story of two young boys trying to find their way to one another. I did not think I was getting a story of an arrogant horny teenager who attends one of the most fucked up churches imaginable stringing along his best friend who has been in love with him forever. A horny teenager who plays with the emotions of so many people but passes is off as being seriously fucked up. Yeah, John you are. Maybe if you thought with something other than your dick it wouldn’t be that way.
There was nothing good about this book. Not one thing. The beginning was unnecessarily heavy and all over the place. There were so many characters tossed at you in each different chapter that I had to duck the flying bodies to see my way to the story. There were so many literary nuances in the story along with so much from the Bible...argh. I get it. The author is well versed but I don't need to be beat over the head with it repeatedly.
Nathan, where the hell is your voice? Oh, I know it's in your book which I doubt I will read now. I don't want to hear from you. How could that end that way? There is now way in hell two chapters can make up for all the crap that went down in this book and have it end that way. MY GOD! What the fuck did I read? The audacity to do that. I am sorry, I can’t accept it. I don’t downshift that fast.
I had zero connection to the characters, to anyone in the book to be honest. How could I when there was no time to get to know someone. What do I know about John; he likes to fuck. Fuck anyone he can. What do I know about Nathan, he lacks a serious spine and self-worth to fall for someone like John. He doesn't deserve it, he doesn’t deserve the pure love and devotion from Nathan. That little speech at the end of being a changed man? I am sorry, but fuck that. No. Ugh. This book just pissed me off page after page. I am so mad I paid full price for this. It wasn't worth it. I was prepared to have my heart ripped out but I was not prepared to want to beat a motherfucker with a motherfucker at the end of this book.
I know that others liked it. Praised it and it won awards but this book was a disaster of epic proportions. I am beside myself with what I just read. Just. I can’t. I am done.
What did I just read? A book with a misleading blurb is what I read. This was a fucking mess. A complete and disgusting fucking mess. John our narrator is a self-aware and egotistical arrogant ass. He is. He says it himself. What he does in this book in the beginning I could forgive him for. He was confused, or whatever. I get it. I can suspend reality for that. But the shit he pulls the last half of the book is unforgivable. Unbelievable. Just. No. No. No. No. No. NOOO!
I thought I was getting a complicated and angst filled love story of two young boys trying to find their way to one another. I did not think I was getting a story of an arrogant horny teenager who attends one of the most fucked up churches imaginable stringing along his best friend who has been in love with him forever. A horny teenager who plays with the emotions of so many people but passes is off as being seriously fucked up. Yeah, John you are. Maybe if you thought with something other than your dick it wouldn’t be that way.
There was nothing good about this book. Not one thing. The beginning was unnecessarily heavy and all over the place. There were so many characters tossed at you in each different chapter that I had to duck the flying bodies to see my way to the story. There were so many literary nuances in the story along with so much from the Bible...argh. I get it. The author is well versed but I don't need to be beat over the head with it repeatedly.
Nathan, where the hell is your voice? Oh, I know it's in your book which I doubt I will read now. I don't want to hear from you. How could that end that way? There is now way in hell two chapters can make up for all the crap that went down in this book and have it end that way. MY GOD! What the fuck did I read? The audacity to do that. I am sorry, I can’t accept it. I don’t downshift that fast.
I had zero connection to the characters, to anyone in the book to be honest. How could I when there was no time to get to know someone. What do I know about John; he likes to fuck. Fuck anyone he can. What do I know about Nathan, he lacks a serious spine and self-worth to fall for someone like John. He doesn't deserve it, he doesn’t deserve the pure love and devotion from Nathan. That little speech at the end of being a changed man? I am sorry, but fuck that. No. Ugh. This book just pissed me off page after page. I am so mad I paid full price for this. It wasn't worth it. I was prepared to have my heart ripped out but I was not prepared to want to beat a motherfucker with a motherfucker at the end of this book.
I know that others liked it. Praised it and it won awards but this book was a disaster of epic proportions. I am beside myself with what I just read. Just. I can’t. I am done.
January 3, 2013
What have I just read? My head is spinning and buzzing with thoughts. And wonder.
I am going to repeat something all the other readers said: John, the narrator, is not nice, John is not likable. At the beginning he looks like a sort of unmovable monolith, a block of self-confidence and arrogance. Everything is superficial at the beginning, it’s about his looks and those of the people around him, it’s about casual sex and pleasure, it all seems selfish and useless. Through all the book though we see John falling apart, his half lies are unveiled, his mind is revealed and his heart is shattered. The self-assured John of the beginning of the book, the stud, the irresistible sex-on-legs young man shows all his fears and self-hatred. John doesn’t belong any where. He feels his Latino heritage sets him apart from the rest and he’s secretly afraid that people think less of him because of it; he refuses to “speak in tongues” in his Church and he looks at that community with detachment and skepticism; being part of his Church keeps him apart from the other students at school; his sexuality doesn’t “conform” since he has sex with plenty of girls but he gives his body to his gay best friend Nathan, the only guy he’s attracted to; he’d like to be close to his brother, but his brother is not interested; since he is not very good at his father’s job, he believes he’s a disappointment to him; he doesn’t apply to college because he knows he won’t be accepted; he doesn’t play football and is scolded for it because he knows he won’t be good enough. Most of all, John doesn’t love himself.
John Beloved, like the apostle Jesus loved. Nathan loves him, in a spiritual way and in a sexual way. John, the serial seducer of women, with a girlfriend and plenty on the side, gives himself to Nathan, he lets Nathan have sex with him, he submits to his friend. As the story goes on, what we see with surprise and a sort of dread is that John is looking for humiliation, and through this humiliation it seems he wants to expiate for something. The book is this long voyage from feeling unworthy of everything to feeling worthy of love. It’s such a painful voyage. It was as if John was doing everything against common sense, dismissing every ounce of self preservation. It was so frustrating, it was unpleasant. We want our heroes to be strong, blameless, confident. In a very perverse way, John is also like that, but he doesn’t see it for a long time.
John can see the hurt in other people’s eyes and he tries to make it better. He sees people in danger and he tries to protect them. He needs help and he trusts the right people to help him. He sees injustice and abuse and he’s not indifferent. He genuinely loves Nathan, in the most selfless and pure way, he cherishes him, even if he has sex with other people, other guys, even if he’s capable of some degree of love for someone else, he’s given his heart only to Nathan, who loves him back in the same selfless and pure way. Atom Heart. John Beloved.
All the fooling around was hard to read from a romantic reader point of view, but John is also an adolescent on the verge of adulthood. He hasn’t mastered his desires yet, he doesn’t even know where they come from, and instead of repressing them, he explores them and wants the readers to know about this, telling everything in a sort of clinical way. It’s not always heartfelt, it’s not arousing. He forces the reader to be there with him as if assisting to a surgery procedure. Look at what’s happening? Look at what I’ve done? Look at how fucked up I am, how fucked up it can be? He’s not asking for our sympathies, it’s as if he wants witnesses. John kept me there, unwilling, displeased, frustrated, worried, afraid.
There are many themes in this book: coming of age; sexual orientation; religious bigotry; sexual abuse. There’s rape. And there’s love, as a quest, as a goal, as a gift.
I don’t know if I’d recommend this book. If you need to be head over heels for your protagonist, maybe you’ll find this book insufferable. If you like delicate romance with a straight path to happiness, you won’t probably even consider this book as romance. If you like hot sex to make you dream and desire, you’ll be probably disappointed and maybe even repelled. If you read it despite these warnings, and you don’t like it, blame it on the story, I don’t think it would be right to blame it on John.
I am going to repeat something all the other readers said: John, the narrator, is not nice, John is not likable. At the beginning he looks like a sort of unmovable monolith, a block of self-confidence and arrogance. Everything is superficial at the beginning, it’s about his looks and those of the people around him, it’s about casual sex and pleasure, it all seems selfish and useless. Through all the book though we see John falling apart, his half lies are unveiled, his mind is revealed and his heart is shattered. The self-assured John of the beginning of the book, the stud, the irresistible sex-on-legs young man shows all his fears and self-hatred. John doesn’t belong any where. He feels his Latino heritage sets him apart from the rest and he’s secretly afraid that people think less of him because of it; he refuses to “speak in tongues” in his Church and he looks at that community with detachment and skepticism; being part of his Church keeps him apart from the other students at school; his sexuality doesn’t “conform” since he has sex with plenty of girls but he gives his body to his gay best friend Nathan, the only guy he’s attracted to; he’d like to be close to his brother, but his brother is not interested; since he is not very good at his father’s job, he believes he’s a disappointment to him; he doesn’t apply to college because he knows he won’t be accepted; he doesn’t play football and is scolded for it because he knows he won’t be good enough. Most of all, John doesn’t love himself.
John Beloved, like the apostle Jesus loved. Nathan loves him, in a spiritual way and in a sexual way. John, the serial seducer of women, with a girlfriend and plenty on the side, gives himself to Nathan, he lets Nathan have sex with him, he submits to his friend. As the story goes on, what we see with surprise and a sort of dread is that John is looking for humiliation, and through this humiliation it seems he wants to expiate for something. The book is this long voyage from feeling unworthy of everything to feeling worthy of love. It’s such a painful voyage. It was as if John was doing everything against common sense, dismissing every ounce of self preservation. It was so frustrating, it was unpleasant. We want our heroes to be strong, blameless, confident. In a very perverse way, John is also like that, but he doesn’t see it for a long time.
John can see the hurt in other people’s eyes and he tries to make it better. He sees people in danger and he tries to protect them. He needs help and he trusts the right people to help him. He sees injustice and abuse and he’s not indifferent. He genuinely loves Nathan, in the most selfless and pure way, he cherishes him, even if he has sex with other people, other guys, even if he’s capable of some degree of love for someone else, he’s given his heart only to Nathan, who loves him back in the same selfless and pure way. Atom Heart. John Beloved.
All the fooling around was hard to read from a romantic reader point of view, but John is also an adolescent on the verge of adulthood. He hasn’t mastered his desires yet, he doesn’t even know where they come from, and instead of repressing them, he explores them and wants the readers to know about this, telling everything in a sort of clinical way. It’s not always heartfelt, it’s not arousing. He forces the reader to be there with him as if assisting to a surgery procedure. Look at what’s happening? Look at what I’ve done? Look at how fucked up I am, how fucked up it can be? He’s not asking for our sympathies, it’s as if he wants witnesses. John kept me there, unwilling, displeased, frustrated, worried, afraid.
There are many themes in this book: coming of age; sexual orientation; religious bigotry; sexual abuse. There’s rape. And there’s love, as a quest, as a goal, as a gift.
I don’t know if I’d recommend this book. If you need to be head over heels for your protagonist, maybe you’ll find this book insufferable. If you like delicate romance with a straight path to happiness, you won’t probably even consider this book as romance. If you like hot sex to make you dream and desire, you’ll be probably disappointed and maybe even repelled. If you read it despite these warnings, and you don’t like it, blame it on the story, I don’t think it would be right to blame it on John.
February 12, 2019
5++++ Stars!
Finally! FINALLY!!!
After months of not finding the one to add to my "All-Time-Fav" shelf, I have found it!
*** I ask you to read it on your own risk! It's very contra-version ***
I can't even put into words how much and why I loved this book so much!
But I'll try!
This book is not for everyone.
It was really difficult and frustrating to read at times, but in sort of a god way.
In a good way, because John, our MC, is very complex teenager, with a very unique POV, one that we don't see very often.
He is full of himself, he is cocky, he even say that he is "Gods gift"... Yea, right!
I DID NOT buy it!
He is so insecure!
He grew up in a very religious family, yet he is skeptical to begin with, and when looking into it, he is a total none believer.
He knows he is a poor student with no promising future.
he has a girlfriend that is OK, he does not really love her, she does not really love him, but... That's the best he think he can get, and deserves.
He is so in love with his best friend, but think he does not deserve him, he KNOWS Nathan is so much better than he is!
So yea, he tells us, or try to tell us one thing, but I saw right through him!
He punish himself through out the story in lots of ways, and for lots of reasons, the secrets he knows eats him alive, and he does not know how to let the pressure out.
One might think that he is the strong MC, but oh no!
Nathan, the second MC is the one that you fall in love instantly, he is the smart, quiet friend, that loves his best friend for years, but is willing to stay BF, for the sake of not loosing John.
He knows what he want, he knows who he loves, he knows what he believe in, and all in all simply being what John need him to be, while he, John, finds himself.
He is coming out as the the passive MC, but he IS the strong one.
So yes, you want to hug and protect Nathan, but who really needs it, is John!
John Beloved!
The writing?? The writing is absolutely superb!
This is the second book I read from this author, the second 5 star for me.
I will soon read more of his creations!
Finally! FINALLY!!!
After months of not finding the one to add to my "All-Time-Fav" shelf, I have found it!
*** I ask you to read it on your own risk! It's very contra-version ***
I can't even put into words how much and why I loved this book so much!
But I'll try!
This book is not for everyone.
It was really difficult and frustrating to read at times, but in sort of a god way.
In a good way, because John, our MC, is very complex teenager, with a very unique POV, one that we don't see very often.
He is full of himself, he is cocky, he even say that he is "Gods gift"... Yea, right!
I DID NOT buy it!
He is so insecure!
He grew up in a very religious family, yet he is skeptical to begin with, and when looking into it, he is a total none believer.
He knows he is a poor student with no promising future.
he has a girlfriend that is OK, he does not really love her, she does not really love him, but... That's the best he think he can get, and deserves.
He is so in love with his best friend, but think he does not deserve him, he KNOWS Nathan is so much better than he is!
So yea, he tells us, or try to tell us one thing, but I saw right through him!
He punish himself through out the story in lots of ways, and for lots of reasons, the secrets he knows eats him alive, and he does not know how to let the pressure out.
One might think that he is the strong MC, but oh no!
Nathan, the second MC is the one that you fall in love instantly, he is the smart, quiet friend, that loves his best friend for years, but is willing to stay BF, for the sake of not loosing John.
He knows what he want, he knows who he loves, he knows what he believe in, and all in all simply being what John need him to be, while he, John, finds himself.
He is coming out as the the passive MC, but he IS the strong one.
So yes, you want to hug and protect Nathan, but who really needs it, is John!
John Beloved!
The writing?? The writing is absolutely superb!
This is the second book I read from this author, the second 5 star for me.
I will soon read more of his creations!
January 21, 2015
I. LOVE. THIS. BOOK.
But it is the most useless and the most helpless review you could find. So, skip it.
I'm not going to talk about this book.
Because I just don't want. It'll stay with me.
I'm not going to share. I'm selfish.
Besides, I'm not able to deliver well structured and reasonable reviews. They are too emotional and totally meaningless to be good.
Just a few words:
It is about Nathan. The best friend of John. And it is about John. A lot of about John. And about some other bad and good guys. And about the world, family, religion, sex, lust, church, friendship, belief, music, life. And love.
Ah, forget it, actually it is about much much more.
Told from the John's POV. He is chaotic, narcissistic, illogic, infidel and loyal, inconsistent, extremely conceited and intense.
He is just John. Most of you will probably hate him. But not me.
"John's narrative voice is one of the most unique in gay literature."
(That's not from me.)
And so is the story. It's just like a real life. And
And here is my soundtrack for this book:
Why? Because
"Nathan liked music from all different decades, and he'd broadened my musical takstes and knowledge in ways I could never fully thank him for."(John)
and because Nathan's musical taste is very similar to mine. It's why I like him even more.
This Mortal Coil - 'Til I Gain Control Again
Ian Brown – Fear
Joni Mitchell - A Case of You
Talking Heads - Take me to the River
Kate Bush - Running Up That Hill
The Waterboys - How Long Will I Love You
Patti Smith - Because The Night
Cocteau Twins - Crushed
Captain Beefheart - Electricity
Hunters & Collectors - Holy Grail
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Beat The Devil's Tattoo
The Smiths - Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me
How could I not add it?! NO WAY.
Atom Heart Mother - Pink Floyd
I. LOVE. THIS. BOOK.
September 3, 2014
John is a dick. He is a conceited, self-absorbed, selfish prick. He’s a lying, cheating fucked up 18 yr old boy. I don’t think I am god’s gift to mankind, but I do kind of feel like I was a pretty good gift for certain people who have enjoyed me. I do think of myself as a prize.
That’s what John is-a boy. A boy who makes mistakes, lots of mistakes. A boy who has to deal with evil that no one should have to deal with, especially not a young boy. Evil that hides behind god and religion and self-righteousness. A boy who deals with a huge regret that eats at him.
He’s a boy who is all those things I called him at the beginning but he is also insecure, confused and self-loathing. All of John's horrible decisions and actions come from this self-loathing. And they are some serious fucked up things. I had always known I was nothing.
When he’s talking about how great he is, he’s usually talking about his body, his looks and his sexual prowess. He always wonders if the girls he’s with even like him. Even his girlfriend treats him badly after each time they have sex. Is it her own guilt or that she doesn’t much like him either and just wants to leave once she gets what she wants? Nathan is different. Nathan loves John not just John’s body. I never felt better about myself than when I saw myself through Nathan’s eyes.
The thing about John is that he knows that he’s an asshole and a fuck up. Like the conceited asshole that I am, I had only thought about how lucky he was that I was letting him have sex with me. I had never stopped to consider how lucky I was too. John may love Nathan and know that Nathan loves him but John doesn’t deserve that love and Nathan deserves better than John. Nathan is perfect-a good friend, a good son a good person and way too good for John. I knew I should be encouraging this since I had a girlfriend and he had no one but pathetic me.
”And he deserves better than you?”
“Damn right.”
So why does Nathan even like him anyway? I’m not sure but John can be loyal. He may not understand his parents’ beliefs but he’ll respect them because they’re important to them and he loves them. He is loyal to his best friend Nathan, if not his lover. He always defends him, protects him and supports him. ”[H]e’s the best dude I know, you asshole. I don’t know why the fuck he wants to hang out with a screw up like me, but he does. And I’m glad.”
This is John’s story told from his POV and we see everything as it relates to John. We don’t see Nathan outside of John and so we can’t really know if Nathan is as perfect as John believes him to be. What we do know is that he loves John and is willing to accept any part John is willing to give. And in the end I think this is John’s love story. This is the story of a boy who loves his best friend and is trying to learn how to deal with it. A story of a boy learning how to love and how to let himself be loved when he feels he doesn't deserve it. I don't like John but by the end I felt like maybe I understood him.
This was not an easy read. It’s dark and it made me uncomfortable and angry many times. At times I felt it was too long and too much. There’s rape and cheating and evil things happen to young children. I had to take breaks. I read 4 fluffy books and caught up with Sons of Anarchy in between reading this. I don’t know if I would recommend this book. I really can't say who should read it. What I can say is that I’m glad I did. It’s emotional and powerful and it will stay with me for a long time.
BR with Alona, Irina, Lena and Sofia
That’s what John is-a boy. A boy who makes mistakes, lots of mistakes. A boy who has to deal with evil that no one should have to deal with, especially not a young boy. Evil that hides behind god and religion and self-righteousness. A boy who deals with a huge regret that eats at him.
He’s a boy who is all those things I called him at the beginning but he is also insecure, confused and self-loathing. All of John's horrible decisions and actions come from this self-loathing. And they are some serious fucked up things. I had always known I was nothing.
When he’s talking about how great he is, he’s usually talking about his body, his looks and his sexual prowess. He always wonders if the girls he’s with even like him. Even his girlfriend treats him badly after each time they have sex. Is it her own guilt or that she doesn’t much like him either and just wants to leave once she gets what she wants? Nathan is different. Nathan loves John not just John’s body. I never felt better about myself than when I saw myself through Nathan’s eyes.
The thing about John is that he knows that he’s an asshole and a fuck up. Like the conceited asshole that I am, I had only thought about how lucky he was that I was letting him have sex with me. I had never stopped to consider how lucky I was too. John may love Nathan and know that Nathan loves him but John doesn’t deserve that love and Nathan deserves better than John. Nathan is perfect-a good friend, a good son a good person and way too good for John. I knew I should be encouraging this since I had a girlfriend and he had no one but pathetic me.
”And he deserves better than you?”
“Damn right.”
So why does Nathan even like him anyway? I’m not sure but John can be loyal. He may not understand his parents’ beliefs but he’ll respect them because they’re important to them and he loves them. He is loyal to his best friend Nathan, if not his lover. He always defends him, protects him and supports him. ”[H]e’s the best dude I know, you asshole. I don’t know why the fuck he wants to hang out with a screw up like me, but he does. And I’m glad.”
This is John’s story told from his POV and we see everything as it relates to John. We don’t see Nathan outside of John and so we can’t really know if Nathan is as perfect as John believes him to be. What we do know is that he loves John and is willing to accept any part John is willing to give. And in the end I think this is John’s love story. This is the story of a boy who loves his best friend and is trying to learn how to deal with it. A story of a boy learning how to love and how to let himself be loved when he feels he doesn't deserve it. I don't like John but by the end I felt like maybe I understood him.
This was not an easy read. It’s dark and it made me uncomfortable and angry many times. At times I felt it was too long and too much. There’s rape and cheating and evil things happen to young children. I had to take breaks. I read 4 fluffy books and caught up with Sons of Anarchy in between reading this. I don’t know if I would recommend this book. I really can't say who should read it. What I can say is that I’m glad I did. It’s emotional and powerful and it will stay with me for a long time.
BR with Alona, Irina, Lena and Sofia
October 30, 2014
This was... intense.
But definitely not in a good way. More like just-kill-me-now intense.
This book depressed me. And made me very sad. It reminded me how stupid some young horny teenagers are. How reckless and selfish. How inconsiderate they are to other people's feelings. It's so easy to break a young fragile heart. And the person doing the breaking, doesn't even think twice. In fact, he doesn't think at all..
I want to pinpoint that I didn't hate the book or John Beloved. We all made mistakes when we were that age. But the whole package of issues touched in this book, just made me angry and upset.
Perhaps, I read it at the wrong time. I don't mind heartbreaking stories as long as they heal me in the end, but this one had failed to make me feel good, and I did not believe in that ending for one second.
There were two things I liked about it though. First, the writing. This author definitely knows how to grip a reader's attention. I'll give him that. And Nathan. The guy I wanted to hug and protect, and shake some sense into him. He deserved so much better than John. I'd love to read Nathan's story too, but I'm afraid I need a break. I get the feeling there will be more trouble in the sequel, and I don't know if can handle it right now.
***2.5 stars***
BR with Lena, Sofia, Otila and Alona. Ladies, thank you!
November 25, 2014
So weird and disturbing, and I loved it!
Hot hot hot
I'm overwhelmed.
It's an almost perfect portrayal of how male teenagers (or plenty of them) live their adolescence and deal with sex and feelings. One of the most truthful gay YA stories I ever read (together with East).
I know I'm the minority here, but I really liked John. With all his flaws and malfunctions he's a very interesting character.
The ending left me a bit disappointed (too forced), but still I liked it a lot.
Hot hot hot
I'm overwhelmed.
It's an almost perfect portrayal of how male teenagers (or plenty of them) live their adolescence and deal with sex and feelings. One of the most truthful gay YA stories I ever read (together with East).
I know I'm the minority here, but I really liked John. With all his flaws and malfunctions he's a very interesting character.
The ending left me a bit disappointed (too forced), but still I liked it a lot.
October 26, 2015
2012 Rainbow Awards Honorable Mention (5* from at least 1 judge)
August 29, 2014
2.5 stars
As we grow up we realise that we just cannot spout out everything that comes to mind. We need to couch our words into more social friendly ones. If we see someone we do not like we learn not to frown at him and get into a fight but just simply to avoid him. With John we get the raw unfiltered stuff. We get it all. He comes across as opinionated, self-absorbed, always horny, very self-aware, very full of himself and his own attractions. I do not know if I quite believe John as described as he is all assurance, no hint of self-doubt in sight. Is that really possible?. If it is, I must have missed out somewhere along the line.
But than in the latter half of the book we are told to believe that he has self-confidence issues. I was left a bit baffled by this either John was totally lying to himself all the time or the writer had a bad writerly moment.
John comes across as very unlikeable, why, was it because the writer did not want us to like him or was it because John, beneath all his bluster, really disliked himself? Don’t know, can’t decide. I do not dislike John, but neither do I like him, I tried but I could not find something to connect with, with him. He is so self-centred that he surely does not need me to think about him, he thinks too much of himself already.
The fairy tale like ending tests me sorely. John has decided that he is now good so he created a good ending for himself. Either he lives in an alternate universe to mine or he is totally delusional.
We got a mixed reaction from our buddy read links below, if you need to see.
BR 27.08.14 with Lena, Irina, Alona and Otila
As we grow up we realise that we just cannot spout out everything that comes to mind. We need to couch our words into more social friendly ones. If we see someone we do not like we learn not to frown at him and get into a fight but just simply to avoid him. With John we get the raw unfiltered stuff. We get it all. He comes across as opinionated, self-absorbed, always horny, very self-aware, very full of himself and his own attractions. I do not know if I quite believe John as described as he is all assurance, no hint of self-doubt in sight. Is that really possible?. If it is, I must have missed out somewhere along the line.
But than in the latter half of the book we are told to believe that he has self-confidence issues. I was left a bit baffled by this either John was totally lying to himself all the time or the writer had a bad writerly moment.
John comes across as very unlikeable, why, was it because the writer did not want us to like him or was it because John, beneath all his bluster, really disliked himself? Don’t know, can’t decide. I do not dislike John, but neither do I like him, I tried but I could not find something to connect with, with him. He is so self-centred that he surely does not need me to think about him, he thinks too much of himself already.
The fairy tale like ending tests me sorely. John has decided that he is now good so he created a good ending for himself. Either he lives in an alternate universe to mine or he is totally delusional.
We got a mixed reaction from our buddy read links below, if you need to see.
BR 27.08.14 with Lena, Irina, Alona and Otila
April 29, 2016
Shitfuck. Such talent this author has!
It is not often I feel like writing much on reviews. For one, I don't have the confidence that what I think is of much interest. Books are my life, but I don't write well enough to articulate my responses in a suitable manner. No everyone likes poems :)
But occasionally, I come across stories that resonate, and this is one. This is a strong, brave, book. It made me think of Probation and also How to Rape a Straight Guy and something else I can't remember but may add later. One way of looking at it is humans are nasty, seedy creatures. They have dark fantasies about rape and torture. An alternative explanation is that humans have vast imaginations and capacity to dream that goes well beyond what is legal or socially acceptable. They push the boundaries, they wonder why. And never more so than when they hit puberty and sexuality. And then there are a whole load of other things fucking up the mix - such as church and the way sexuality is still seen in our world. How can I ever feel equal/ spiritual/ whole when vast numbers of my fellow humans devote themselves to churches and religions that at best treat me like a problem ? And don't even get me going on school and finding a way of fitting in, because for too many kids, there isn't one.
It is not often I feel like writing much on reviews. For one, I don't have the confidence that what I think is of much interest. Books are my life, but I don't write well enough to articulate my responses in a suitable manner. No everyone likes poems :)
But occasionally, I come across stories that resonate, and this is one. This is a strong, brave, book. It made me think of Probation and also How to Rape a Straight Guy and something else I can't remember but may add later. One way of looking at it is humans are nasty, seedy creatures. They have dark fantasies about rape and torture. An alternative explanation is that humans have vast imaginations and capacity to dream that goes well beyond what is legal or socially acceptable. They push the boundaries, they wonder why. And never more so than when they hit puberty and sexuality. And then there are a whole load of other things fucking up the mix - such as church and the way sexuality is still seen in our world. How can I ever feel equal/ spiritual/ whole when vast numbers of my fellow humans devote themselves to churches and religions that at best treat me like a problem ? And don't even get me going on school and finding a way of fitting in, because for too many kids, there isn't one.
August 29, 2014
Revised with more 
John Beloved upon completion of Nathan's Story.
It was this seductively beautiful cover of course...that sssucked me in. My short-attention span was held effortlessly as I read a story..authentically rough-around-the-edges but humble in its endearment.
After reading Nathan's Story I had even a firmer appreciation of John Beloved's sensually-heartfelt version of events and Luke Hartwell's writing.
Although, there are many appreciative moments in getting to know Nathan's version of this sweetly-sexy story, John is much in the foreground with their story being told much in off-page sequencing of events with little on-page exploration for the reader.
The beginning of Nathan's story is effectively strong and present (even with conflicting content-which-I enjoyed). Unfortunately, the pacing increases and so does the lack of important detailing..quickly glossing over..as the writing achieves more of a summary effect. This in turn diminishes their story and the intimate connection with the writing.
Regardless, my summary of John & Nathan's story is still positive in my ultimate enjoyment of their total story, as I found it sweetly provocative and Hartwell's writing a great pleasure to read.
John Beloved upon completion of Nathan's Story. It was this seductively beautiful cover of course...that sssucked me in. My short-attention span was held effortlessly as I read a story..authentically rough-around-the-edges but humble in its endearment.
After reading Nathan's Story I had even a firmer appreciation of John Beloved's sensually-heartfelt version of events and Luke Hartwell's writing.
Although, there are many appreciative moments in getting to know Nathan's version of this sweetly-sexy story, John is much in the foreground with their story being told much in off-page sequencing of events with little on-page exploration for the reader.
The beginning of Nathan's story is effectively strong and present (even with conflicting content-which-I enjoyed). Unfortunately, the pacing increases and so does the lack of important detailing..quickly glossing over..as the writing achieves more of a summary effect. This in turn diminishes their story and the intimate connection with the writing.
Regardless, my summary of John & Nathan's story is still positive in my ultimate enjoyment of their total story, as I found it sweetly provocative and Hartwell's writing a great pleasure to read.
Read
January 26, 2015I honestly don’t know how to rate this book.
It left me utterly confused.
AHJB is the story of the 18 years old John who is having trouble understanding and accepting his sexuality. His best friend Nathan is gay and in love with him. John is attracted to girls but also to Nathan (not any other boys, just Nathan, for the most part of the book anyway) and while he is in complete denial of his feelings in the beginning of the book, by the end it is clear that Nathan means everything for him.
That sounds OK? The thing is that for John to come to this conclusion, . I just can’t wrap my head around as to why this was necessary.
There are many other things I disliked about Atom Heart John Beloved, in fact I can’t think of anything that I liked about it except for Nathan who loves John unconditionally and with no expectations of return.
However, at no point of the book I wanted to DNF. It kept my interest.
So, yeah, I am confused about it.
And OMG, how ridiculous was that ending.
I may attempt to write a full review at some point. Right now, I don’t think I can do this to myself.
February 17, 2017
I was totally NOT expecting that ending. This was the craziest, most unique book I've ever read. Once I started it I just kept compulsively turning page after page until I got to the very last one.
The story was so shockingly graphic. The main character so twisted. I literally had no idea what kind of story I was reading. Would it turn out to be romance, thriller, horror?
No doubt it was highly erotic, dark in places, and mysterious in its ultimate purpose. I was never so glad to see an ending like I was this one. I was sure that the ending was either going to make or break the story for me.
The only thing I have left to say is...
Luke Hartwell, I love you for writing this story.
The story was so shockingly graphic. The main character so twisted. I literally had no idea what kind of story I was reading. Would it turn out to be romance, thriller, horror?
No doubt it was highly erotic, dark in places, and mysterious in its ultimate purpose. I was never so glad to see an ending like I was this one. I was sure that the ending was either going to make or break the story for me.
The only thing I have left to say is...
Luke Hartwell, I love you for writing this story.
November 15, 2012
John, the narrator of this story is not likable. He is selfish and downright arrogant at times. But he is young, a bit lost and I fell in love with him in no time. His voice is unique and powerful with its engaging and straightforward, even humorous logic. John's story is twisted, interesting, very believable in the middle of complicated, tough circumstances. The author deals with the difficult themes () through John's eyes with such frankness that it's heartbreaking and illuminating at the same time.
Throughout the story John explores his sexuality. But although there are plenty of sex scenes, they aren't there just for the sake of sex. In fact most of those scenes are about something else altogether. Close to the end of the book there is a beautiful scene that stays with me even though I've finished reading the book a few days ago. In that emotional scene sex turns into confession and absolution. And when I think back now, it seems that for me the book was mostly about unconditional love.
Atom Heart John Beloved is also a story about growing up. It's a story about friendship and love between two boys, John and Nathan. It's a story about how these two boys discover the true colors of the world around them. Some of those colors are dark and murky, but some are bright and clear. It has a healthy amount of doubt in it, but a large portion of hope too. It's a story of surviving. Don't approach this book thinking that it's a romance, but don't let the dark themes scare you away either. I wholeheartedly recommend it.
I also love the mystic title Atom Heart John Beloved that only makes sense after one has read the book.
Throughout the story John explores his sexuality. But although there are plenty of sex scenes, they aren't there just for the sake of sex. In fact most of those scenes are about something else altogether. Close to the end of the book there is a beautiful scene that stays with me even though I've finished reading the book a few days ago. In that emotional scene sex turns into confession and absolution. And when I think back now, it seems that for me the book was mostly about unconditional love.
Atom Heart John Beloved is also a story about growing up. It's a story about friendship and love between two boys, John and Nathan. It's a story about how these two boys discover the true colors of the world around them. Some of those colors are dark and murky, but some are bright and clear. It has a healthy amount of doubt in it, but a large portion of hope too. It's a story of surviving. Don't approach this book thinking that it's a romance, but don't let the dark themes scare you away either. I wholeheartedly recommend it.
I also love the mystic title Atom Heart John Beloved that only makes sense after one has read the book.
Read
November 4, 2013It's so hard for me to rate this book. It was addicting. I couldn't get enough. I went through SO many emotions. Anger, disgust, sadness, love... It's not like any romance I've ever read. I will remember the story forever though.
July 27, 2016
John has now officially become one of my most beloved characters. He is the height of insecurities. He is full of himself. He is totally in denial yet never can live a life away from his gay best friend. He has a mind for surprises (I loved both of them, especially the last one. This novel is innovative that way). He has heard and seen some terrible stuff. He has done even terrible stuff that he thinks he did not deserve but could not resist. He has the voice of reason till the end, even if that reason was not always the right one. Oh! I love him!
I didn't even know what hit me till I was in the middle of this book. It starts just fine and mellow but develops so erotically and psychologically charged that for once you have to take a break to digest what you just read. It has the shock factor and it has the ewww factor. More importantly it has the emotional factor which just overwhelms towards the end. The writing is simply beautiful with that tacit and sly approach that every eighteen year old has towards things in life.
Definitely a second read. To understand more intimately the shit that lives in our minds.
I didn't even know what hit me till I was in the middle of this book. It starts just fine and mellow but develops so erotically and psychologically charged that for once you have to take a break to digest what you just read. It has the shock factor and it has the ewww factor. More importantly it has the emotional factor which just overwhelms towards the end. The writing is simply beautiful with that tacit and sly approach that every eighteen year old has towards things in life.
Definitely a second read. To understand more intimately the shit that lives in our minds.
November 8, 2012
This is a book I couldn't put down.
John is not an easy character, and just reading his thoughts and actions one is not prone to like him. But he is a lot more than he thinks himself to be, and he has an incredible heart.
John is not an easy character, and just reading his thoughts and actions one is not prone to like him. But he is a lot more than he thinks himself to be, and he has an incredible heart.
February 25, 2013
Atom Heart John Beloved or The Super Kinky Secret Sex Lives of Small Town American Teenagers. Okay, I'm being glib. I actually don't know how I feel about this book. I'm giving it four stars, not because I think it's particularly good, but because it's given me some things to think about and I pretty much ate it up in one sitting. Impulsive me bought the book because I really liked the title and it was listed as GLBT (I had no idea what it was about otherwise), and I'm not sorry I did, but I feel fairly conflicted.
It's a coming of age story, at its core , which is by turns amazingly naive and shockingly dirty (yes, there's an awful lot of coming). Narrated by John, the world's most narcissistic teenager, self-centered in a way that only a beautiful adolescent can be. It deals mostly with his relationship with his gay best friend and his struggle to fit in to an ultra-religious community. I didn't like John as a person, his vanity and hypocrisy were galling, but he also sometimes flashed us a little bit of his humanity. It's a book essentially full of contradictions and this kind of makes sense in the context of being a confused but cocky teenager, but it's not easy to read. The narrative is a little all over the place , and some things are never resolved in a satisfying way. It also deals with some heavy themes of abuse and exploitation that left a very bad taste in my mouth.
So, again, I won't say I enjoyed it, there were too many flaws , but I'm giving it four stars anyway.
It's a coming of age story, at its core , which is by turns amazingly naive and shockingly dirty (yes, there's an awful lot of coming). Narrated by John, the world's most narcissistic teenager, self-centered in a way that only a beautiful adolescent can be. It deals mostly with his relationship with his gay best friend and his struggle to fit in to an ultra-religious community. I didn't like John as a person, his vanity and hypocrisy were galling, but he also sometimes flashed us a little bit of his humanity. It's a book essentially full of contradictions and this kind of makes sense in the context of being a confused but cocky teenager, but it's not easy to read. The narrative is a little all over the place , and some things are never resolved in a satisfying way. It also deals with some heavy themes of abuse and exploitation that left a very bad taste in my mouth.
So, again, I won't say I enjoyed it, there were too many flaws , but I'm giving it four stars anyway.
February 19, 2014
This is some dark, twisty, fucked-up stuff here. That's the part I liked. The not so enjoyable part for me was the style in which it was told. For instance, we get to a part where they're about to do the deed, then John looks at his body and compares it to Nathan's which is paler because John is part Hispanic. Then, then...we get 20 pages about his history before we get back to the sex. The whole book is told this way and it's just not my favorite. Yes, John was an asshole but I don't think he was purposely being one, it's just the way his mind was working. I loved Nathan but we didn't get his POV so we didn't know him as well. There's a rape scene and some twisted smexing so if that offends you then this is not the book for you. Overall a good read.
July 22, 2012
Dark themes, sometimes disturbing. An interesting protagonist whose actions will raise many dislikes from the readers, but without them and their realistic display wouldn't have been possible John's development as a friend, lover and human being.
September 5, 2013
"Just call me Lazarus."
My God, this book is not for the faint of heart. Our narrator, John, is a self-absorbed, 18-year-old, unfaithful little twit, but one person keeps him almost grounded -- Nathan, his closest friend, who has been in love with him for years. John, however, is straight. This fact notwithstanding, he decides to give Nathan a very important gift: himself. They start off slowly, with handjobs and kisses, but one night, they cross a threshold of intimacy when John whispers quietly to Nathan, "Do me." These moments, and in particular, this one, aren't simply about sex, or even about love; they are also about John's overwhelming need to be used.
This need implicates so many of the larger themes in the book, including sex (in particular, its use and misuse), sexuality, sexual exploitation under the cover of God, and the desire to use sex as an expiation of sin, both real and imagined. Sex, power, religion, and to a small degree, race, have twisted themselves in John's head, and he isn't sure how to untangle the threads. Sometimes, his efforts work, but more often than not, he ends up making things worse.
It is this last thing that is my primary critique of the novel. I think the author tried to do too much in this book, and as a result, I could not understand some of the narrative choices that he made (). In addition, I think that playing with all of these themes undermined the love story a little bit, and as a result, I was less emotionally invested in John and Nathan than I expected, given the fact that they clearly loved each other as much as they did. I was mostly just intellectually fascinated with the author's attempt to untangle all of these threads.
These critiques notwithstanding, this book is worth reading if you can handle some incredibly tough subjects, as well as a narrator that many will find deeply unlikeable. And that is because John and Nathan, at the end of the day, are quite compelling. Even though we are not inside of his head, it is interesting to see Nathan's love take on the quality of grace -- it is completely unearned, and given in the fullest measure. As for John, his moment of redemption and atonement was one of the truest expressions of love and faith that I have ever seen.
My God, this book is not for the faint of heart. Our narrator, John, is a self-absorbed, 18-year-old, unfaithful little twit, but one person keeps him almost grounded -- Nathan, his closest friend, who has been in love with him for years. John, however, is straight. This fact notwithstanding, he decides to give Nathan a very important gift: himself. They start off slowly, with handjobs and kisses, but one night, they cross a threshold of intimacy when John whispers quietly to Nathan, "Do me." These moments, and in particular, this one, aren't simply about sex, or even about love; they are also about John's overwhelming need to be used.
This need implicates so many of the larger themes in the book, including sex (in particular, its use and misuse), sexuality, sexual exploitation under the cover of God, and the desire to use sex as an expiation of sin, both real and imagined. Sex, power, religion, and to a small degree, race, have twisted themselves in John's head, and he isn't sure how to untangle the threads. Sometimes, his efforts work, but more often than not, he ends up making things worse.
It is this last thing that is my primary critique of the novel. I think the author tried to do too much in this book, and as a result, I could not understand some of the narrative choices that he made (). In addition, I think that playing with all of these themes undermined the love story a little bit, and as a result, I was less emotionally invested in John and Nathan than I expected, given the fact that they clearly loved each other as much as they did. I was mostly just intellectually fascinated with the author's attempt to untangle all of these threads.
These critiques notwithstanding, this book is worth reading if you can handle some incredibly tough subjects, as well as a narrator that many will find deeply unlikeable. And that is because John and Nathan, at the end of the day, are quite compelling. Even though we are not inside of his head, it is interesting to see Nathan's love take on the quality of grace -- it is completely unearned, and given in the fullest measure. As for John, his moment of redemption and atonement was one of the truest expressions of love and faith that I have ever seen.
March 28, 2013
Ugh! This is sick and disturbing! Seriously, this story is so f•cked up! Yes, it is so f•cked up that I can't figure out how this story still managed to be hot, funny, sweet and perfect. It's amazing, really, now that I think about it. I can't be more conflicted right now.
I actually feel dirty for liking this story. Filthy. And hot... Yeah, totally side eyeing myself right now.
And there were several parts in the story where I was like, "Noooo! No, no, no, n—yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, y—F•CK, NO! YEEEESSSS!!!!!!!1! ".
Aaargh! But it's also sooo sweet (not sappy) and it has the ultimate HEA ending, which I'm a sucker of! Did I tell you I'm kind of conflicted right now?
Right. This book is crazy, but I love it. In fact, that may be one of the reasons why I love this book. It's crazy, it's different.
I love it so much that I don't really like rereading novels, but I'm sure I'm going to reread this one soon. This goes straight to my favorites and hg (holy grail) shelves.
Damn, I need a shower. LOL.
I actually feel dirty for liking this story. Filthy. And hot... Yeah, totally side eyeing myself right now.
And there were several parts in the story where I was like, "Noooo! No, no, no, n—yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, y—F•CK, NO! YEEEESSSS!!!!!!!1! ".
Aaargh! But it's also sooo sweet (not sappy) and it has the ultimate HEA ending, which I'm a sucker of! Did I tell you I'm kind of conflicted right now?
Right. This book is crazy, but I love it. In fact, that may be one of the reasons why I love this book. It's crazy, it's different.
I love it so much that I don't really like rereading novels, but I'm sure I'm going to reread this one soon. This goes straight to my favorites and hg (holy grail) shelves.
Damn, I need a shower. LOL.
May 19, 2016
Using a wildly unique narrative voice, Atom Heart John Beloved is brave and distinctive. It's the most impressive piece of literate gay fiction that I've recently read.
The character of John Parker is beautifully drawn, arrogant and conceited but also exposed and broken. My understanding and sympathy toward him fluctuated throughout the work. Particularly impressive are the passages where John denies particular feelings and we can feel the lies, but understand a truth hiding behind clouded eyes. This style of writing is not easily achieved.
This book won't satisfy those looking for familiarly structured m/m romance. I describe it as a detailed character study ensconced in a coming-of-age love story. Atom Heart John Beloved does many things well, but conveys best the love John feels for Nathan and how transformative that becomes. It will drag you through the range of emotions and includes themes both within and beyond the story that could make for tough going.
It's rare to find myself so engrossed in a novel. Luke Hartwell had me up late into the night devouring this book from cover to cover. It would make an excellent group read or book club title with plenty here to talk about. I can see why it is making "underrated" lists.
A re-read is guaranteed. I give it 5 stars and look forward to more of Luke's work.
The character of John Parker is beautifully drawn, arrogant and conceited but also exposed and broken. My understanding and sympathy toward him fluctuated throughout the work. Particularly impressive are the passages where John denies particular feelings and we can feel the lies, but understand a truth hiding behind clouded eyes. This style of writing is not easily achieved.
This book won't satisfy those looking for familiarly structured m/m romance. I describe it as a detailed character study ensconced in a coming-of-age love story. Atom Heart John Beloved does many things well, but conveys best the love John feels for Nathan and how transformative that becomes. It will drag you through the range of emotions and includes themes both within and beyond the story that could make for tough going.
It's rare to find myself so engrossed in a novel. Luke Hartwell had me up late into the night devouring this book from cover to cover. It would make an excellent group read or book club title with plenty here to talk about. I can see why it is making "underrated" lists.
A re-read is guaranteed. I give it 5 stars and look forward to more of Luke's work.
June 10, 2019
HORNY HAPPENINGS IN THE HEARTLAND.
This John character is quite some dude. He's straight, then he's bi, and then he really is gay!
Luke Hartwell has weaved a lot of interesting themes, all pretty successfully, throughout this tale of two boys who become friends, lovers and insatiable sex partners.
A very erotic adventure, extremely well written, seen through the horny desires and witty observations of John. One of the interesting aspects in this story is, that it is the "straight" boy who plays the so-called submissive role to the gay boy's "top" and he just can't get enough of a good thing. A really well drawn character and his love for Nathan is irresistible even while still involved with his girl friend, having it off with the local stud, working out all those nasty goings on in the local homophobic church community and even uncovering a child porn ring. Wow! Who needs to go to the big city when all this is happening in your own not so sleepy hollow?
This is all good stuff and I was so relieved and so must Nathan have been, when he eventually, after all the unbelievably hot sex between them, finally gets plugged in the butt by John, even if it takes 240 pages! But it's well worth the wait so don't let that spoil the fun you'll get out of this intriguing and steamy read.
This John character is quite some dude. He's straight, then he's bi, and then he really is gay!
Luke Hartwell has weaved a lot of interesting themes, all pretty successfully, throughout this tale of two boys who become friends, lovers and insatiable sex partners.
A very erotic adventure, extremely well written, seen through the horny desires and witty observations of John. One of the interesting aspects in this story is, that it is the "straight" boy who plays the so-called submissive role to the gay boy's "top" and he just can't get enough of a good thing. A really well drawn character and his love for Nathan is irresistible even while still involved with his girl friend, having it off with the local stud, working out all those nasty goings on in the local homophobic church community and even uncovering a child porn ring. Wow! Who needs to go to the big city when all this is happening in your own not so sleepy hollow?
This is all good stuff and I was so relieved and so must Nathan have been, when he eventually, after all the unbelievably hot sex between them, finally gets plugged in the butt by John, even if it takes 240 pages! But it's well worth the wait so don't let that spoil the fun you'll get out of this intriguing and steamy read.
February 16, 2015
Well, five stars means I think it is amazing, and that is the truth. Let me give you five reasons why I love it, one for each star: 1. It deals with several topics that are depressing, but it's actually a fun read thanks to the narrator's humor and ridiculously unique narrative voice. 2. It combines a beautiful love story with erotic sex and also explains how the Bible came to be. Never seen that before. 3. John, the narrator, is sexy as all get-out. He's a stud and behaves like one. Reading his thought processes is amazing. Hartwell really got in this character's head. 4. It is beautifully written, unique in style and voice, and obviously of literary quality. 5. The love story is fantastic! It is the heart of the novel. This book does a lot of things well, but the thing it does best is convey the love John feels for Nathan and how that transforms him. I have read few books that do a better job of showing the intensity of the love one young male can feel for another. Read this.
July 30, 2013
There is a reason Luke Hartwell is a Rainbow Award winning author: Atom Heart John Beloved and Nathan’s Story speak for themselves and are all the proof you need as to why. They are passionate and provocative books, written with the intent to explore beliefs, to challenge the status quo, to question what it means to love, to at times shock and to incite reaction from the reader.
These are not books for the squeamish; they are books to be experienced as well as read. The parts and pieces of the story are sometimes disturbing, and sometimes the experience will leave you questioning the definition of love, but in the end, they will leave you with the belief that it can be found in the one who makes you feel at home.
You can read the rest of this review at The Novel Approach
These are not books for the squeamish; they are books to be experienced as well as read. The parts and pieces of the story are sometimes disturbing, and sometimes the experience will leave you questioning the definition of love, but in the end, they will leave you with the belief that it can be found in the one who makes you feel at home.
You can read the rest of this review at The Novel Approach
May 16, 2013
What do I think about this book? I'm still kind of under it's spell.
At first, I was thinking, well, nice story, let's see where it goes...then I began to feel ill at ease because what John (Nathan's beloved) is telling us isn't a nice story, and he has such a way to describe what he feels, lives, how he relates to people, that I felt compelled to know what would happened in the end, hoping for nothing too bad eventhough it looked like, yes, a disaster was building there, evil was at work, and nothing good could ever come of all this...
This book is quite different from anything I've read till now. It's special in the way it's written and how the main character, John, sees himself.
I really loved it and I'm happy with the end! But the journey was not an easy one...
I recommend it!
At first, I was thinking, well, nice story, let's see where it goes...then I began to feel ill at ease because what John (Nathan's beloved) is telling us isn't a nice story, and he has such a way to describe what he feels, lives, how he relates to people, that I felt compelled to know what would happened in the end, hoping for nothing too bad eventhough it looked like, yes, a disaster was building there, evil was at work, and nothing good could ever come of all this...
This book is quite different from anything I've read till now. It's special in the way it's written and how the main character, John, sees himself.
I really loved it and I'm happy with the end! But the journey was not an easy one...
I recommend it!
August 31, 2012
Not at all what I expected. This has a strong narrative voice, and is very different from "typical" mm romances. Very worthwhile.
And yes, I LOVED "John, the disciple whom Jesus loved." LOL!
And yes, I LOVED "John, the disciple whom Jesus loved." LOL!
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