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Starf*cker
Once, John Irish was a legend in the porn industry, partying with the likes of John Holmes, Peter North, Nina Hartley, and Seka, but now he's on the far side of fifty, and Ron Jeremy won't even return his phone calls.
Desperate for any kind of paying work, he's sunk to the level of bit roles in grade-Z porn and is even considering applying to work at Wal-Mart, when hot-blooded starlet Mindy Copperhead comes into his life. He quickly discovers she's far more than a simple blowjob artist, but is in fact an advance scout for a distant alien race, sent to Earth to find...him.
Her race is embroiled in an interstellar war and losing badly. Her Queen became enamored with a movie in which John appeared, called "Starfucker", and sent her scout to find him and bring him back to her, ostensibly to help her repopulate their dying planet. Thus John finds himself mixed up in a crazy, sexy adventure which makes even the most gonzo porn seem tame by comparison.
In a civilization where skills can be learned via injections, danger lurks around every corner, and intrigue is as common as breakfast, John must get to the bottom of the mystery behind the war, as long as it doesn't kill him first, or at least break a hip.
"You'll have a really hard time selling this one." (J.A. Kazimer, author of Curses! A F--ked-Up Fairy Tale)
"Really, Ian, I thought we raised you better than this." (E. Colcannon, the author's mother)
"I would whole-heartedly give this book my highest recommendation, if I weren't, in fact, dead." (The Spirit of Douglas Adams, contacted via seance, author of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
"How did you get this number? Stop calling me! I sold it all to Disney already!" (George Lucas)
Desperate for any kind of paying work, he's sunk to the level of bit roles in grade-Z porn and is even considering applying to work at Wal-Mart, when hot-blooded starlet Mindy Copperhead comes into his life. He quickly discovers she's far more than a simple blowjob artist, but is in fact an advance scout for a distant alien race, sent to Earth to find...him.
Her race is embroiled in an interstellar war and losing badly. Her Queen became enamored with a movie in which John appeared, called "Starfucker", and sent her scout to find him and bring him back to her, ostensibly to help her repopulate their dying planet. Thus John finds himself mixed up in a crazy, sexy adventure which makes even the most gonzo porn seem tame by comparison.
In a civilization where skills can be learned via injections, danger lurks around every corner, and intrigue is as common as breakfast, John must get to the bottom of the mystery behind the war, as long as it doesn't kill him first, or at least break a hip.
"You'll have a really hard time selling this one." (J.A. Kazimer, author of Curses! A F--ked-Up Fairy Tale)
"Really, Ian, I thought we raised you better than this." (E. Colcannon, the author's mother)
"I would whole-heartedly give this book my highest recommendation, if I weren't, in fact, dead." (The Spirit of Douglas Adams, contacted via seance, author of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
"How did you get this number? Stop calling me! I sold it all to Disney already!" (George Lucas)
- GenresScience Fiction
Audible Audio
First published October 30, 2012
About the author
Ian Thomas Healy
128 books101 followersIan Thomas Healy is a prolific writer who dabbles in many different speculative genres. His superhero novel Deep Six: A Just Cause Novel was a Top 100 Semi-finalist in the 2008 Amazon.com Breakthrough Novel Award. He’s a seven-time participant and winner of National Novel Writing Month where he’s tackled such diverse subjects as sentient alien farts, competitive forklift racing, a religion-powered rabbit-themed superhero, cyberpunk mercenaries, cowboy elves, and an unlikely combination of vampires with minor league hockey. He is also the creator of the Writing Better Action Through Cinematic Techniques workshop, which helps writers to improve their action scenes.
His goal is to become as integral to the genre of superhero fiction as William Gibson was to cyberpunk and Anne Rice was to urban fantasy.
Ian lives in Colorado with his wife, three children, and a plethora of housepets. When not writing, which is rare, he likes to take road trip, enjoys watching football and hockey, and listening to or playing music. His ebooks can be found on Smashwords, Kindle, Nook, iBook Store, and other online retailers.
His goal is to become as integral to the genre of superhero fiction as William Gibson was to cyberpunk and Anne Rice was to urban fantasy.
Ian lives in Colorado with his wife, three children, and a plethora of housepets. When not writing, which is rare, he likes to take road trip, enjoys watching football and hockey, and listening to or playing music. His ebooks can be found on Smashwords, Kindle, Nook, iBook Store, and other online retailers.
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
January 12, 2013
What a fun book! An aging porn star, sexy aliens, and a rollicking romp through space make this an engaging read. Lots of humor and a wry outlook on life in general round out kept me entertained till the very end. Although this definitely isn't erotica, it IS explicit, so stay away if you're offended by that sort of thing. Highly recommended for everyone with an open mind.
January 13, 2019
Abandoned about halfway through.
Initially I thought this would be a satire on the virtually non-existent plots in the porn industry. And it seemed to be for the first few chapters. But eventually I realized that it was no different than than the comically stupid plots in the aforementioned films.
Two stars because it kept me interested for awhile even if only in the hopes of something clever that never materialized.
Initially I thought this would be a satire on the virtually non-existent plots in the porn industry. And it seemed to be for the first few chapters. But eventually I realized that it was no different than than the comically stupid plots in the aforementioned films.
Two stars because it kept me interested for awhile even if only in the hopes of something clever that never materialized.
May 17, 2024
Pure fvcking poetry.
(That's it. That's the review.)
What? You want more details than that? Okay... Where to begin?
This entire thing is hilarious. From beginning to end, the dry and slightly dark humor is omnipresent and so perfectly pitched that I was barely recovering from the last joke before the next was upon me!
But. But. There is a story as well! And it's a good story! A space opera with heroic deeds and epic fights, ironically reversed societies compared to our own and sweet romance found in the most unlikely of places.
Imagine The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy with a GENEROUS addition of intercourse. (Can we say intercourse without being censored? What about time between the sheets? Or on the couch? Or on the doctors examination table? Or in the chair? Or...? I think you get my point. It's happening a lot and it's happening everywhere.)
The execution of this narrative is perfect. It's sweet, it's sexy, it's gut bustingly amusing. It puts our stereotypical gender roles into perspective while also being light hearted and punny (oh the puns! Just wait until you read the puns!).
In a word, I loved it. That's three words, but you get what I'm saying.
(That's it. That's the review.)
What? You want more details than that? Okay... Where to begin?
This entire thing is hilarious. From beginning to end, the dry and slightly dark humor is omnipresent and so perfectly pitched that I was barely recovering from the last joke before the next was upon me!
But. But. There is a story as well! And it's a good story! A space opera with heroic deeds and epic fights, ironically reversed societies compared to our own and sweet romance found in the most unlikely of places.
Imagine The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy with a GENEROUS addition of intercourse. (Can we say intercourse without being censored? What about time between the sheets? Or on the couch? Or on the doctors examination table? Or in the chair? Or...? I think you get my point. It's happening a lot and it's happening everywhere.)
The execution of this narrative is perfect. It's sweet, it's sexy, it's gut bustingly amusing. It puts our stereotypical gender roles into perspective while also being light hearted and punny (oh the puns! Just wait until you read the puns!).
In a word, I loved it. That's three words, but you get what I'm saying.
March 10, 2022
This turned out to be less fun than I was expecting. It's a silly book with a silly premise and that's what's great about it, but the joke runs out a long long time before the end of the book. Not sorry to read it, but not recommending it.
October 13, 2022
An okay comedy take on a pornstar going into space. Not great but readable.
I listened to the audiobook. It was not great. The voices were pretty good, but the constant gratuitous use of emphasis was just super annoying.
I listened to the audiobook. It was not great. The voices were pretty good, but the constant gratuitous use of emphasis was just super annoying.
May 18, 2026
A very funny book! Filled with puns, a little spice and some great twists. I enjoyed this book even though it's not a go-to genre of mine. But if you are looking for something fun and entertaining this is a great option.
July 13, 2025
3.5 stars.
I am surprised that I enjoyed it this much. It ended up having more of a plot than I expected. It's silly, but surprisingly fun.
I am surprised that I enjoyed it this much. It ended up having more of a plot than I expected. It's silly, but surprisingly fun.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews