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Pinned: A Sentient Bowling Romance
36 pages, Paperback
Published July 24, 2025
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
August 3, 2025
chad + betsey forever <3333
can’t wait for the sequel !!!!
can’t wait for the sequel !!!!
February 5, 2026
all credit for bringing this strange story to my attention goes to my friend maomi who found it during a rogue google. i decided to take one for the team, spend my hard earned $1.36 CAD plus tax and read all 38 pages of this bowling themed “romance”?
we began the tale with an introduction to our hero Chad. the first thing we learn about Chad is that he is *blessed* with a very special penis. Chad’s dick apparently resembles a bowling pin in both shape and size - which means it’s **15 inches** long? Chad claims *I got 99 problems, but my pin ain’t one.* and i’m like, i don’t know Chad, that sounds like a problem to me. if someone presented me with a 15” dick i would say “no thank you, sir. keep that monster to yourself.” now, i can only provide the perspective of a cis woman but we did secure the thoughts of a man to share: when asked his opinions on a 15” dick Mr Maggie replied “that sounds annoying. think about, like, buying jeans.” so i ask, Chad, *how* do you buy jeans??? but the bowling ladies seem to love it, no prob for them, Chad’s made the rounds of the league even though he is a shit bowler bc as the saying goes “either you’re good at bowling or you’re good at fucking”?!
once Chad is done regaling us with talk about his strange and massive cock we get down to the bowling. Chad is unfortunately in a bit of a dry spell, it’s been *months* since he bowled a strike. and to top things off, he just shattered his bowling ball! thankfully, his surrogate father, *Daddy* Hank Dickinbut - owner of *Area 51 Cosmic Bowling,* comes to his rescue and gifts him with a very special cherry red bowling ball named Betsy.
our girl Betsy is a babe from the 70s crafted from *a meteorite*! Chad takes the beautiful Betsy back to his humble abode, where she tells him (bc she talks, duh!) that she can make him a CHAMPION! but in exchange she asks that he *fill her holes* with, ofc, his bowling pin dick. you may be wondering how this could possibly work, i was as well - but obvs Betsy holes can grow to accommodate his massive size bc she’s fucking magic! i was then treated to the only sex in the whole 38 pages and it was brief, underwhelming and heavy on the bowling puns.
the rest of the story literally just details the State Championship match between ChadXBetsy and Chad’s ex Jessica “Juicy Puss” Lane. for 6 chapters nothing happens besides each competitor scoring a **strike.** then in Frame 7, Betsy delivers the devastating news that if they win she disappears bc of fucking stupid magic and shit. let me tell you, i was shook! not our girl Betsy! obvs Chad is going to throw the match to keep the love of his life, right? WRONG!
Chad, the world’s biggest fucking idiot, decides to sacrifice Betsy and win the match. what a fucking loser of a winner, am i right? now i didn’t cry bc i am a *stoic bitch* but this was fucking sad as shit!
Chad takes over Hank’s bowling but also *gives up bowling forever.* i would assume this is bc he’s back to being a shit bowler without Betsy but, you know, at least he still has his bowling pin dick or whatever.
an aside before we wrap up our review: a capital R **Romance** by definition ends with a HEA or, at the very least, an HFN. this book had neither. no one’s happy at the end except maybe Hank living in retirement? Chad’s not happy, *Juicy Puss* isn’t happy, Betsy is certainly not happy bc she’s fucking DEAD! and i, also, am unhappy! ☹️
i forgot to mention that the text on the cover is in fucking Comic Sans! the most offensive of fonts!
we conclude with a teaser for a sequel where maybe Betsy will be back(!), discussion questions that you can share at your very own bowling league book club and a recommended menu of bevvies and snacks to accompany your reading experience.
i would not recommend this book not bc it wasn’t good (though, it wasn’t) but bc it was fucking heartbreaking. 😭
if you are interested in sentient object romance i will offer an alternative recommendation. try a Holly Wilde or Vera Valentine, i’ve had much better experiences with their work.
we began the tale with an introduction to our hero Chad. the first thing we learn about Chad is that he is *blessed* with a very special penis. Chad’s dick apparently resembles a bowling pin in both shape and size - which means it’s **15 inches** long? Chad claims *I got 99 problems, but my pin ain’t one.* and i’m like, i don’t know Chad, that sounds like a problem to me. if someone presented me with a 15” dick i would say “no thank you, sir. keep that monster to yourself.” now, i can only provide the perspective of a cis woman but we did secure the thoughts of a man to share: when asked his opinions on a 15” dick Mr Maggie replied “that sounds annoying. think about, like, buying jeans.” so i ask, Chad, *how* do you buy jeans??? but the bowling ladies seem to love it, no prob for them, Chad’s made the rounds of the league even though he is a shit bowler bc as the saying goes “either you’re good at bowling or you’re good at fucking”?!
once Chad is done regaling us with talk about his strange and massive cock we get down to the bowling. Chad is unfortunately in a bit of a dry spell, it’s been *months* since he bowled a strike. and to top things off, he just shattered his bowling ball! thankfully, his surrogate father, *Daddy* Hank Dickinbut - owner of *Area 51 Cosmic Bowling,* comes to his rescue and gifts him with a very special cherry red bowling ball named Betsy.
our girl Betsy is a babe from the 70s crafted from *a meteorite*! Chad takes the beautiful Betsy back to his humble abode, where she tells him (bc she talks, duh!) that she can make him a CHAMPION! but in exchange she asks that he *fill her holes* with, ofc, his bowling pin dick. you may be wondering how this could possibly work, i was as well - but obvs Betsy holes can grow to accommodate his massive size bc she’s fucking magic! i was then treated to the only sex in the whole 38 pages and it was brief, underwhelming and heavy on the bowling puns.
the rest of the story literally just details the State Championship match between ChadXBetsy and Chad’s ex Jessica “Juicy Puss” Lane. for 6 chapters nothing happens besides each competitor scoring a **strike.** then in Frame 7, Betsy delivers the devastating news that if they win she disappears bc of fucking stupid magic and shit. let me tell you, i was shook! not our girl Betsy! obvs Chad is going to throw the match to keep the love of his life, right? WRONG!
Chad, the world’s biggest fucking idiot, decides to sacrifice Betsy and win the match. what a fucking loser of a winner, am i right? now i didn’t cry bc i am a *stoic bitch* but this was fucking sad as shit!
Chad takes over Hank’s bowling but also *gives up bowling forever.* i would assume this is bc he’s back to being a shit bowler without Betsy but, you know, at least he still has his bowling pin dick or whatever.
an aside before we wrap up our review: a capital R **Romance** by definition ends with a HEA or, at the very least, an HFN. this book had neither. no one’s happy at the end except maybe Hank living in retirement? Chad’s not happy, *Juicy Puss* isn’t happy, Betsy is certainly not happy bc she’s fucking DEAD! and i, also, am unhappy! ☹️
i forgot to mention that the text on the cover is in fucking Comic Sans! the most offensive of fonts!
we conclude with a teaser for a sequel where maybe Betsy will be back(!), discussion questions that you can share at your very own bowling league book club and a recommended menu of bevvies and snacks to accompany your reading experience.
i would not recommend this book not bc it wasn’t good (though, it wasn’t) but bc it was fucking heartbreaking. 😭
if you are interested in sentient object romance i will offer an alternative recommendation. try a Holly Wilde or Vera Valentine, i’ve had much better experiences with their work.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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August 4, 2025love, intimacy, and grief beautifully written
September 26, 2026
I don't even know.
Men will do anything to get what they want.
I think Jessica Lane should probably go to the doctor if she is dripping all of the time.
Curious about the second book but I am not sure I will be reading it.
Men will do anything to get what they want.
I think Jessica Lane should probably go to the doctor if she is dripping all of the time.
Curious about the second book but I am not sure I will be reading it.
April 4, 2026
I'm going to do something i very very much shouldn't do. I'm going to give this an honest review.
I had heard that there were "Sentient romance" books, and i had to give one a read. i was far, far too curious to not give one a try. and seeing that it was a human male and a female bowling ball, i figured...sure. what the hell.
It was only 32 pages long so i wasn't expecting shakespeare, but i was expecting...well something. and unfortunately, i didn't get a whole lot of that.
Short version, guy finds a magical bowling ball, has sex with it, uses her to cheat and win at bowling. goes up against this woman for the championship, and then he has to make a decision whether or not to use her to win the championship. if he does, betsy (the ball) has to leave forever. and he decides to do just that and win and she leaves.
So, first, the positives. It was hilarious. i was laughing so hard at how ridiculous it was and reading quotes to my friends. also betsy was fun for what little we heard her talk.
Okay, now for the negatives.
Yes, it's supposed to be a silly short thing, but it really could have used a lot more and better plot and characterization. Chad was kind of just.... a guy with no personality other than he liked bowling and having sex. that's all we really got from him. Betsy barely got any screentime and it went way too fast for its own good.
I don't mind the silliness of the idea of the story, but the speed it was dealt with as well as the character motivations and romance were not very well thought out. i wish we could have learned more about chad as well as Betsy.
One of the biggest issues as well that i have with the story is the ending. Chad says that he loves Betsy, but decides that he wants to win this bowling game more and therefore sacrifices her for it. Why? Because he wants to win. That's literally it. He just wants to beat this girl that he used to date. And there's really nothing else other than that. it was incredibly selfish of Chad to make this decision for nothing other than his own vanity. And there's no repercussions because of this as he goes "yeah oh well. that's it i guess. i won. but i stopped bowling after that. i felt bad" well then why did you do it numb nuts?
Was this story funny? oh. absolutely. but i wouldn't call it GOOD. it was very obviously thrown together incredibly fast and characterization and thought on the plot was not on the forefront of the author's mind. It was too short to be a good story and as it went on, it stopped being laugh out loud funny like it was in the first few pages. All in all, it wasn't very good. I'm hoping there's better ones out there as i do want to try a few more of these short sentient romance books.
still though. eh. 2.5 out of 5, rounded down to a 2.
I had heard that there were "Sentient romance" books, and i had to give one a read. i was far, far too curious to not give one a try. and seeing that it was a human male and a female bowling ball, i figured...sure. what the hell.
It was only 32 pages long so i wasn't expecting shakespeare, but i was expecting...well something. and unfortunately, i didn't get a whole lot of that.
Short version, guy finds a magical bowling ball, has sex with it, uses her to cheat and win at bowling. goes up against this woman for the championship, and then he has to make a decision whether or not to use her to win the championship. if he does, betsy (the ball) has to leave forever. and he decides to do just that and win and she leaves.
So, first, the positives. It was hilarious. i was laughing so hard at how ridiculous it was and reading quotes to my friends. also betsy was fun for what little we heard her talk.
Okay, now for the negatives.
Yes, it's supposed to be a silly short thing, but it really could have used a lot more and better plot and characterization. Chad was kind of just.... a guy with no personality other than he liked bowling and having sex. that's all we really got from him. Betsy barely got any screentime and it went way too fast for its own good.
I don't mind the silliness of the idea of the story, but the speed it was dealt with as well as the character motivations and romance were not very well thought out. i wish we could have learned more about chad as well as Betsy.
One of the biggest issues as well that i have with the story is the ending. Chad says that he loves Betsy, but decides that he wants to win this bowling game more and therefore sacrifices her for it. Why? Because he wants to win. That's literally it. He just wants to beat this girl that he used to date. And there's really nothing else other than that. it was incredibly selfish of Chad to make this decision for nothing other than his own vanity. And there's no repercussions because of this as he goes "yeah oh well. that's it i guess. i won. but i stopped bowling after that. i felt bad" well then why did you do it numb nuts?
Was this story funny? oh. absolutely. but i wouldn't call it GOOD. it was very obviously thrown together incredibly fast and characterization and thought on the plot was not on the forefront of the author's mind. It was too short to be a good story and as it went on, it stopped being laugh out loud funny like it was in the first few pages. All in all, it wasn't very good. I'm hoping there's better ones out there as i do want to try a few more of these short sentient romance books.
still though. eh. 2.5 out of 5, rounded down to a 2.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews