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My Living Will: A Father’s Story of Loss & Hope

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My Living Will is the story of former major league pitcher John Trautwein, and the unbelievable tragedy which befell him and his family when his fifteen-year-old son, Will, took his own life. There had been no warnings, no obvious signs of anxiety, depression, or unhappiness; nothing. A family and a community were left stunned as they pondered how a young man like Will Trautwein, a healthy, happy, popular, athletic, and musical teenager, who came from such a loving home, could lose the will to live.

“John Trautwein writes straight from the heart. And his words will save lives. The story Trautwein shares in these pages––a remarkable journey of passion and purpose––will literally save lives.”

• Jeffrey Marx, Pulitzer Prize winner and author of Season of Life “John Trautwein’s story inspires hope. It empowers people, and it gives its readers the ‘hope for life.’ The triumph that this story imparts arouses the goodness in everyone as it drives people toward action.”

• Joe Girardi, Manager, The New York Yankees

“In my twenty-two years of broadcasting, I have told many stories of triumph over tragedy, but the story of Will Trautwein and his family has stayed with me. The loss of such a vibrant young man and the strength of his family to use their heartache to help has had an impact on how I parent my daughter, and how I report stories of teenage depression and suicide. This is a must-read if you have a teenager in your life.”

• Stephany Fisher, Anchor, CBS News, Atlanta

“Ever wonder if a young person in your own home might be at risk? Read this book. In “My Living Will,” John Trautwein takes the emotions of loss and turns them into a message of awareness and hope. A must read for parents and teenagers alike!”

• Dan Shaughnessy, The Boston Globe

243 pages, Kindle Edition

First published December 11, 2014

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John Trautwein

3 books2 followers

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5 stars
43 (63%)
4 stars
18 (26%)
3 stars
4 (5%)
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3 (4%)
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
Profile Image for Megan Ryan.
1 review2 followers
January 10, 2015
Thank you, John

I remember the day we learned of Will's death. Our son was a classmate who loved your son. Forever we will remember the day. Forever we will feel your pain. Forever we will admire your strength, love and endurance. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I will strive to be a better parent because of what you wrote.
Profile Image for O'Train  Disene .
147 reviews3 followers
January 12, 2022
The death of Will, had a great impact on his survivors, his family. Maybe it is because they didn't see it coming. Will wa a perfect teenager, who didn't show any sign that could make his family detect that he would self-harm.

It was a normal day when his father, John Trautwein, was alerted of the screams up stairs. Running there, he found his one child screaming, pointing at the bedroom of his eldest son, Will. Getting in there, he wasn't ready for what he saw. His first born son, Will, was hanging on a belt, dead. He was shattered, and he didn't know how to function.

Trying to make sense of it all, the family opens the foundation in Will's honour to educate teenagers and their parents alike about suicide and how to detect it early, and seek help as soon as possible.

It was heavy to read this book. It is divided into more than ten parts, but in all of them, the author was basically talking about how their child's suicide impacted them. I couldn't take it, I won't lie. Maybe this shows how we can't just move on from someone we loved who commited suicide. So definitely, people who would be triggered by suicide should shy away from it.

But other than that, John is a great storyteller who wrote this book with precision. His words, as hard as they may be, came out so well, and I enjoyed reading them.
Profile Image for Cass.
847 reviews231 followers
January 17, 2021
3/5

A free copy was provided for review with Online Book Club. My review to come once the review has been approved for publishing.



QUOTE

“Will killed himself,” I repeated. Those are devastating words no parent ever wants to say, let alone say it repeatedly. I decided that night that I would never ever hide the fact my son killed himself. My son committed suicide, took his own life, hanged himself in his own bedroom while his loving family, who treasured his very existence, slept peacefully just a few feet away. However you want to phrase it, it happened, and I was committed to not letting it happen again. I knew I had to act differently than what I had seen in the world. I could not hide it, sweep it under a rug, deny it, disguise it, or most importantly, run from it. -118
776 reviews
May 14, 2017
It seems rare that a father writes a memoir about losing a son to suicide. Thanks to John Treutwein for sharing his pain and growth and love with us. The book is very well written with many, many stories and details. All of this helps to give a vision for hope. Reading the book is sharing the experience in your own way. John Treutwein seems to reach out to the reader and allow us all into his world. It's hard reading this book but it's as though the author, and through him his son, is walking with you to help you make it to the end and to the hope that is there.
Profile Image for Raj Nandani ( Wrap the Fury).
209 reviews10 followers
August 5, 2021
It is a story of a father's grief after the death of his son due to suicide. It is intense, at times triggering, but overall it is not just a story of grief, it is a story of hope, recovery, help, and support to thousands of other parents and teenagers who are struggling with mental health. it is a journey that helped me a lot to understand parents' perspectives of life. It also talked about the establishment of the Will to Live organization and how communicating with others and seeking help really helps, even when you feel like you can do this on your own.
5 reviews
January 26, 2024
I liked how structured the book was. It lets the reader know what family members go through when a member commits suicide. John Trautwein, in his book, provides a vivid picture of what he went through after his son's death. I liked how he captivates the reader, making one follow him each and every step of the way.
Profile Image for Meg.
63 reviews1 follower
February 16, 2018
Gut-wrenching, heartbreaking, heartfelt, filled with raw emotion and, yes, hope.

John Trautwein is an amazing writer, and an even more amazing human being. I could not put this book down (and also went through about half a box of tissues).
Profile Image for S.S Bandeli.
276 reviews3 followers
September 19, 2021
Story of John who loses his son and how their family cope up with the loss. They make it their motive to help other kids to avoid them facing similar issues and change their lives for good. It was an emotional roller coaster ride.

A story of loss and grief. A father's undeniably strong love.
166 reviews2 followers
August 10, 2018
what to say about this heartfelt story ? I felt like a invading the family privacy during a tragedy. In the end it is an uplifting story but it felt too close from home for me.
2 reviews
August 6, 2019
A very heartbreaking and powerful read!! I love the message he sends!!
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews

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