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F*CK THIS MURDER
Autistic, divorced, and chronically ill Maggie Livingston just wants a 5-star review for her new Bed and Breakfast that will save her family’s beautiful Victorian home, but her murdered guests and a plague of unexplained accidents keep getting in the way. It doesn’t help that Maggie’s guests for a high-stakes week of wedding festivities are her old high-school nemeses and there’s a sweltering heat wave gripping their touristy mountain town. Or that she still has feelings for her ex-girlfriend Alice, the local game warden who is currently dating one of the wedding party.
To make matters worse, the morning the wedding guests arrive, Maggie’s first guest inconveniently dies upstairs while the hotel inspector conducts his final tour. Maggie and her best friends Mia and Sutton stash the body, but the mystery remains, and chaotic mishaps abound. In the wake of food poisoning, a collapsing dock, rogue alligator, and a swarm of bees flying out of a disco ball at the roller-rink, it will be a miracle if Maggie can keep it together until her big payday at the end of the week, pay her mortgage, and save her guests from a murderer.
To make matters worse, the morning the wedding guests arrive, Maggie’s first guest inconveniently dies upstairs while the hotel inspector conducts his final tour. Maggie and her best friends Mia and Sutton stash the body, but the mystery remains, and chaotic mishaps abound. In the wake of food poisoning, a collapsing dock, rogue alligator, and a swarm of bees flying out of a disco ball at the roller-rink, it will be a miracle if Maggie can keep it together until her big payday at the end of the week, pay her mortgage, and save her guests from a murderer.
383 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 29, 2025
About the author
Elizabeth Land Quant
2 books16 followersAuthor of F*CK THIS MURDER, some medical gaslighting essays and a lot of sad poetry. Queer, disabled, autistic. Loves being a mom and finding rocks, she also is the proud co-founder of The Unpopular Publishing Co., co-creator of AutisticAunties.com, and happily rents out adorable little cabins with shelves full of books in Arkansas.
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
August 7, 2025
Impeccably written, fabulously illustrated, witty, charming, surprising, and wry, F*ck This Murder is the wacky page-turner I didn't know I needed to read. The Autistic Aunties strike gold with their unforgettable cast of quirky, lovable characters and a plot that will keep you up all night reading. Book 2 can't come soon enough!
October 19, 2025
This quirky little book was so much fun, with a zany cast of characters, that fits in some meaningful character development and representation along with solving mysterious disappearances and revealing ancient history. Definitely a laugh-out-loud story with a few gasps along the way!
October 23, 2025
This title was selected for IngramSpark's Indie Title Discovery Spotlight 2025!
A hilariously playful murder mystery perfect for fans of cozy crime capers, laugh-out-loud chaos, and diverse character representation. Can't wait for the next book in this series!
A hilariously playful murder mystery perfect for fans of cozy crime capers, laugh-out-loud chaos, and diverse character representation. Can't wait for the next book in this series!
October 12, 2025
This one started a little rocky for me, but as the story went on, I was INVESTED. This was a fast paced, slightly silly, mystery.
October 4, 2025
Autistic, queer, chronically ill, AND A BOXER DOG!? Never has a main character made me feel so represented. I devoured this book in one day.
March 28, 2026
Fun, quirky and charming. It’s a quick read with lots of twists and turns that will keep you guessing. The characters and diverse, lovable, AND infuriating. I found myself wanting to know what happens to all of them next.
August 5, 2025
F*ck This Murder is a fresh, fun, quirky take on the mystery genre, and one I’d highly recommend you pick up. Now!
Maggie’s life has only just started to come back together after a painful breakup with her ex-husband, Lance. She’s transformed her family’s old bootlegging country house into a B&B, but in order to keep the electricity and water going, and pay the mortgage, she’s got to survive a week with the most needy wedding party on the planet. Oh, and it just so happens to be composed entirely of people who tortured her in high school.
With a dead body to hide from a health inspector, secret passageways, wedding activities gone awry (poison ivy and secret roofies to name only two), and a blackmail plot going back to their graduation night, this book is a fast ride of hilarious hijinks from head to hindquarters.
The mystery itself is well laid out, with lots of possible motives and agendas floating around, and I loved the twist at the end that I did not see coming!
The voice of the writing is playful, lighthearted, and humorous. Most “funny” books throw a punchline at you here and there, but the authors in this book do a good job of creating situational humour and moments that feel like they organically arise from the characters’ traits and make you smile.
The characters represent a diverse bunch in all forms of the word, but I never felt like the story was trying to prove a point by including these perspectives. They felt genuine and only served to increase the depth of character, making them all more believable humans.
This mystery is cozy like a cup of hot cocoa with a splash of bourbon: comfort with the odd racy hit of a penis in your face at one in the morning.
Maggie’s life has only just started to come back together after a painful breakup with her ex-husband, Lance. She’s transformed her family’s old bootlegging country house into a B&B, but in order to keep the electricity and water going, and pay the mortgage, she’s got to survive a week with the most needy wedding party on the planet. Oh, and it just so happens to be composed entirely of people who tortured her in high school.
With a dead body to hide from a health inspector, secret passageways, wedding activities gone awry (poison ivy and secret roofies to name only two), and a blackmail plot going back to their graduation night, this book is a fast ride of hilarious hijinks from head to hindquarters.
The mystery itself is well laid out, with lots of possible motives and agendas floating around, and I loved the twist at the end that I did not see coming!
The voice of the writing is playful, lighthearted, and humorous. Most “funny” books throw a punchline at you here and there, but the authors in this book do a good job of creating situational humour and moments that feel like they organically arise from the characters’ traits and make you smile.
The characters represent a diverse bunch in all forms of the word, but I never felt like the story was trying to prove a point by including these perspectives. They felt genuine and only served to increase the depth of character, making them all more believable humans.
This mystery is cozy like a cup of hot cocoa with a splash of bourbon: comfort with the odd racy hit of a penis in your face at one in the morning.
August 6, 2025
F*ck This Murder delivers exactly the right blend of humor and pathos to make you laugh, scream and demand your bestie read this book next. In a time when things are tilting toward tyranny, this joyfully neurodivergent book, which celebrates our differences and our intersections, lets you sink into a world you’ll be reluctant to leave.
November 12, 2025
A fun and witty story! I appreciated not being able to figure out the mystery prior to the reveal. There is nothing worse than predicting the ending 2 chapters in.
The story structure and cast of characters gave me a literary 'The White Lotus' series vibe.
I kind of want to stay at the B & B :)
The story structure and cast of characters gave me a literary 'The White Lotus' series vibe.
I kind of want to stay at the B & B :)
March 21, 2026
F*CK THIS MURDER by Elizabeth Land Quant & Signe E. Land!
Book one in the F This Murder Series.
Performed by Emma Marion Love
-Mystery
-Neurodivergent rep
-Queer rep
-Cozy Mystery
This was a fun cozy mystery. The comedy ascepts of this story is what sold me. Maggie tried her hardest just to have a five star rated BNB and everything that could go wrong continued to go wrong in the funniest way possible.
I loved all the representation in this book.
Emma did an amazing job narrating this story and bringing it to life.
This was a fun and short read.
Book one in the F This Murder Series.
Performed by Emma Marion Love
-Mystery
-Neurodivergent rep
-Queer rep
-Cozy Mystery
This was a fun cozy mystery. The comedy ascepts of this story is what sold me. Maggie tried her hardest just to have a five star rated BNB and everything that could go wrong continued to go wrong in the funniest way possible.
I loved all the representation in this book.
Emma did an amazing job narrating this story and bringing it to life.
This was a fun and short read.
March 15, 2026
Super cute and entertaining! Enjoyed the banter amongst the characters and it had enough backstory to bring us to the present day. Getting an insight into autism and other disabilities that don’t “show” had me pause in thought about my own behaviors and masking.
Emma Marion Love narrated the entire story. We are all spoiled with duet narration, but Emma did an excellent job and was so animated I didn’t even think about it being solo. Emma’s voice has that bit of hoarseness to it most of us wish we had. Absolutely adored listening!
Emma Marion Love narrated the entire story. We are all spoiled with duet narration, but Emma did an excellent job and was so animated I didn’t even think about it being solo. Emma’s voice has that bit of hoarseness to it most of us wish we had. Absolutely adored listening!
March 11, 2026
Thank you Bluenose for the audiobook.
This isn’t my usual read BUT this was a fantastic murder mystery. It’s quippy and lgbt inclusive. Old high school friends and foes navigating a wedding and lots of sabotage going on.
This has zero spice, but it is adorable. I greatly enjoyed it.
This isn’t my usual read BUT this was a fantastic murder mystery. It’s quippy and lgbt inclusive. Old high school friends and foes navigating a wedding and lots of sabotage going on.
This has zero spice, but it is adorable. I greatly enjoyed it.
April 3, 2026
I… was cackling at work. Like full-on, cannot-hide-it, people-looking-at-me funny.
This book is absolute chaos in the best way.
We’ve got:
murder mystery
unhinged accidents (?? a disco ball full of bees?? EXCUSE ME??)
messy exes
a failing B&B
neurodivergent rep that actually feels REAL
and just enough romance to keep your heart invested
And somehow?? It all blends together perfectly.
Maggie??
“She is me and I am them.”
I have never felt more seen by a character who is just trying to keep it together while everything around her is actively falling apart.
The autism and chronic illness rep felt so natural—not performative, not overdone—just there, woven into who she is while she’s navigating literal murder, financial stress, and emotional baggage. We love to see it.
And the LGBTQ+ rep??
Super well done. Messy, real, complicated feelings—not just surface-level inclusion.
Now let’s talk audio because BABY—
Emma Marion Love absolutely carried this in the best way.
The comedic timing?? Flawless.
The delivery?? Sharp, chaotic, emotional when it needed to be.
Like… this audiobook elevated the humor to another level. I don’t think I would’ve laughed nearly as hard reading it physically.
What I loved:
Unhinged, chaotic energy from start to finish
Laugh-out-loud moments (embarrassing in public tbh)
Strong neurodivergent & chronic illness rep
LGBTQ+ relationships that feel authentic and layered
Mystery + comedy + emotional depth all working together
If you want something dark? This isn’t that.
If you want something FUN, chaotic, a little insane, and ridiculously entertaining?
Yeah… this is it.
This book is absolute chaos in the best way.
We’ve got:
murder mystery
unhinged accidents (?? a disco ball full of bees?? EXCUSE ME??)
messy exes
a failing B&B
neurodivergent rep that actually feels REAL
and just enough romance to keep your heart invested
And somehow?? It all blends together perfectly.
Maggie??
“She is me and I am them.”
I have never felt more seen by a character who is just trying to keep it together while everything around her is actively falling apart.
The autism and chronic illness rep felt so natural—not performative, not overdone—just there, woven into who she is while she’s navigating literal murder, financial stress, and emotional baggage. We love to see it.
And the LGBTQ+ rep??
Super well done. Messy, real, complicated feelings—not just surface-level inclusion.
Now let’s talk audio because BABY—
Emma Marion Love absolutely carried this in the best way.
The comedic timing?? Flawless.
The delivery?? Sharp, chaotic, emotional when it needed to be.
Like… this audiobook elevated the humor to another level. I don’t think I would’ve laughed nearly as hard reading it physically.
What I loved:
Unhinged, chaotic energy from start to finish
Laugh-out-loud moments (embarrassing in public tbh)
Strong neurodivergent & chronic illness rep
LGBTQ+ relationships that feel authentic and layered
Mystery + comedy + emotional depth all working together
If you want something dark? This isn’t that.
If you want something FUN, chaotic, a little insane, and ridiculously entertaining?
Yeah… this is it.
March 11, 2026
It was hilarious and funny narration by Emma Marion Love made the whole difference. The story was a comedy of whodunnit.
Maggie Livingston, a queer, autistic innkeeper with a mountain of unpaid bills is in a gigantic pile of poop. Her ex is hosting a gathering at her inn, inspector is here to evaluate and a guest just dies!!.
Now comes a Weekend At Bernie’s style hide the body from everybody and unbeknownst to her, it’s bigger than her secret. Everybody has a metaphoric shovel in the grave.
It was whacky, unhinged, slapstick.
Good debut by Elizabeth & signe land
“3.5 stars for spiraling situationship”
Follow me on:
Email🌻 Bookbub 🌻 Twitter🌻 Instagram🌻 Blog🌻 Facebook🌻 Amazon 🌻 TikTok 🌻 StoryGraph 🌻 YouTube 🌻
Maggie Livingston, a queer, autistic innkeeper with a mountain of unpaid bills is in a gigantic pile of poop. Her ex is hosting a gathering at her inn, inspector is here to evaluate and a guest just dies!!.
Now comes a Weekend At Bernie’s style hide the body from everybody and unbeknownst to her, it’s bigger than her secret. Everybody has a metaphoric shovel in the grave.
It was whacky, unhinged, slapstick.
Good debut by Elizabeth & signe land
“3.5 stars for spiraling situationship”
Follow me on:
Email🌻 Bookbub 🌻 Twitter🌻 Instagram🌻 Blog🌻 Facebook🌻 Amazon 🌻 TikTok 🌻 StoryGraph 🌻 YouTube 🌻
March 22, 2026
F*ck This Murder is full of zany characters, shenanigans, hilarious inner dialogue, queer representation, a variety of abled people, witty humor, and of course, a little murder. Elizabeth Land Quant and Signe E. Land have cozy mystery gold on their hands. I listened to the audio and Emma Marion Love was delightful, bringing the perfect delivery for the ever dry-witted and sarcastic Megan, the main character. There is a long list of characters, so I physically had to diagram it out to keep everyone and their connections straight in my head. If you're looking for a diverse set of characters and an incredibly intelligent cozy mystery, this story is for you! Thanks to Blue Nose Audio for the chance to listen and review!
March 23, 2026
I almost never do this but feel this is so important.
I’m wondering if this even went through editing, as the authors misgendered their own character in chapter 2. I was so excited to see such important representation with such a quirky plot that I had to DNF.
Editing is SO important. This wasn’t caught by 2 different authors writing this book? The editing team? So early on in the book? Mistakes happen, we are all human. But to misgender a character in such a queer heavy book just isn’t okay to me….. hopefully they get better editors next time
I’m wondering if this even went through editing, as the authors misgendered their own character in chapter 2. I was so excited to see such important representation with such a quirky plot that I had to DNF.
Editing is SO important. This wasn’t caught by 2 different authors writing this book? The editing team? So early on in the book? Mistakes happen, we are all human. But to misgender a character in such a queer heavy book just isn’t okay to me….. hopefully they get better editors next time
April 29, 2026
I absolutely adore murder mysteries - and how can any go wrong when mixed with the right amount of humor?! This book hit the mark for me on every target! Twists I saw and DIDN'T see, murders that made no sense and all the sense, mishaps, pranks and all the fun drama with a sprinkle of romance and friendships to envy - plus it's the start of a series, so I'm excited for more to come!!
March 10, 2026
I had a great time with this book. It was witty and quirky and unique. Very fun read!!
April 23, 2026
Super fun read. Characters were well developed and the typical cozy cast.
April 16, 2026
📚 F*CK THIS MURDER by Elizabeth Land Quant and Signe E. Land
Series: F This Murder #1
🎧 Narrated by: Emma Marion Love
@blueNose
Genre: Cozy mystery | Queer fiction | Comedy mystery
Vibes: chaotic small town mystery, neurodivergent FMC, wedding week disasters, found friendship, ex lovers tension
Running a Bed and Breakfast should be simple.
Welcome the guests. Serve breakfast. Get good reviews.
Unfortunately for Maggie Livingston… her guests keep dying.
Maggie is autistic, chronically ill, recently divorced, and desperately trying to save her family’s beautiful Victorian B&B from financial disaster. All she needs is a glowing review from the hotel inspector during a very important week of wedding festivities.
Instead, one of her guests dies upstairs during the inspection.
Which leads to Maggie and her best friends hiding a body.
And that is only the beginning of the chaos.
What makes this mystery such a wild ride:
🔍 A neurodivergent heroine trying to keep everything from falling apart
💀 A murder that threatens to destroy her B&B
😂 Completely chaotic mishaps at every turn
🌈 Queer representation and complicated ex feelings
👯♀️ Loyal best friends who jump into the madness with her
Between wedding guests who used to be Maggie’s high school enemies, a sweltering heat wave, and lingering feelings for her ex girlfriend Alice (who happens to be dating someone in the wedding party), Maggie already has plenty to deal with.
Then the disasters start piling up.
Food poisoning.
A collapsing dock.
A rogue alligator.
Bees exploding out of a disco ball at the roller rink.
Yes… really.
The mystery unfolds in the middle of absolute chaos as Maggie tries to keep the B&B running, uncover the truth behind the murder, and somehow survive the week without everything collapsing around her.
🎧 Emma Marion Love’s narration brings Maggie’s voice and the story’s humor to life, balancing the mystery with the book’s chaotic energy and comedic timing.
If you love:
🔍 Cozy mysteries with a twist
😂 Dark humor and chaotic situations
🌈 Queer main characters
🏡 Small town settings
this one delivers a mystery that is both funny and unpredictable.
💬 Do you prefer your mysteries darker and serious or chaotic and comedic like this one?
#FThisMurder
#CozyMystery
#QueerMystery
#AudiobookNarration
#MysteryReads
Series: F This Murder #1
🎧 Narrated by: Emma Marion Love
@blueNose
Genre: Cozy mystery | Queer fiction | Comedy mystery
Vibes: chaotic small town mystery, neurodivergent FMC, wedding week disasters, found friendship, ex lovers tension
Running a Bed and Breakfast should be simple.
Welcome the guests. Serve breakfast. Get good reviews.
Unfortunately for Maggie Livingston… her guests keep dying.
Maggie is autistic, chronically ill, recently divorced, and desperately trying to save her family’s beautiful Victorian B&B from financial disaster. All she needs is a glowing review from the hotel inspector during a very important week of wedding festivities.
Instead, one of her guests dies upstairs during the inspection.
Which leads to Maggie and her best friends hiding a body.
And that is only the beginning of the chaos.
What makes this mystery such a wild ride:
🔍 A neurodivergent heroine trying to keep everything from falling apart
💀 A murder that threatens to destroy her B&B
😂 Completely chaotic mishaps at every turn
🌈 Queer representation and complicated ex feelings
👯♀️ Loyal best friends who jump into the madness with her
Between wedding guests who used to be Maggie’s high school enemies, a sweltering heat wave, and lingering feelings for her ex girlfriend Alice (who happens to be dating someone in the wedding party), Maggie already has plenty to deal with.
Then the disasters start piling up.
Food poisoning.
A collapsing dock.
A rogue alligator.
Bees exploding out of a disco ball at the roller rink.
Yes… really.
The mystery unfolds in the middle of absolute chaos as Maggie tries to keep the B&B running, uncover the truth behind the murder, and somehow survive the week without everything collapsing around her.
🎧 Emma Marion Love’s narration brings Maggie’s voice and the story’s humor to life, balancing the mystery with the book’s chaotic energy and comedic timing.
If you love:
🔍 Cozy mysteries with a twist
😂 Dark humor and chaotic situations
🌈 Queer main characters
🏡 Small town settings
this one delivers a mystery that is both funny and unpredictable.
💬 Do you prefer your mysteries darker and serious or chaotic and comedic like this one?
#FThisMurder
#CozyMystery
#QueerMystery
#AudiobookNarration
#MysteryReads
Did Not Finish
April 30, 2026Didn't finish, made it to page 128. This needed better editing. I did appreciate the spoiler free character list (I usually have to make these myself) and the book was super easy to read thanks to big spaces between the paragraphs.
April 12, 2026
Maggie is hosting a wedding at her newly opened Bed and Breakfast when a visitor suddenly dies. Then, as a wedding celebration begins, things start going strangely wrong.
Is it a accident, or is someone doing this?
Turns out several of them are being blackmailed, apparently by a dead classmate. They all did SOMETHING bad enough that if it gets revealed it'll ruin them.
Decent mystery, good wrap up.
3.5 out of 5
Is it a accident, or is someone doing this?
Turns out several of them are being blackmailed, apparently by a dead classmate. They all did SOMETHING bad enough that if it gets revealed it'll ruin them.
Decent mystery, good wrap up.
3.5 out of 5
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews