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F*CK THIS MURDER
Autistic, divorced, and chronically ill Maggie Livingston just wants a 5-star review for her new Bed and Breakfast that will save her family’s beautiful Victorian home, but her murdered guests and a plague of unexplained accidents keep getting in the way. It doesn’t help that Maggie’s guests for a high-stakes week of wedding festivities are her old high-school nemeses and there’s a sweltering heat wave gripping their touristy mountain town. Or that she still has feelings for her ex-girlfriend Alice, the local game warden who is currently dating one of the wedding party.
To make matters worse, the morning the wedding guests arrive, Maggie’s first guest inconveniently dies upstairs while the hotel inspector conducts his final tour. Maggie and her best friends Mia and Sutton stash the body, but the mystery remains, and chaotic mishaps abound. In the wake of food poisoning, a collapsing dock, rogue alligator, and a swarm of bees flying out of a disco ball at the roller-rink, it will be a miracle if Maggie can keep it together until her big payday at the end of the week, pay her mortgage, and save her guests from a murderer.
To make matters worse, the morning the wedding guests arrive, Maggie’s first guest inconveniently dies upstairs while the hotel inspector conducts his final tour. Maggie and her best friends Mia and Sutton stash the body, but the mystery remains, and chaotic mishaps abound. In the wake of food poisoning, a collapsing dock, rogue alligator, and a swarm of bees flying out of a disco ball at the roller-rink, it will be a miracle if Maggie can keep it together until her big payday at the end of the week, pay her mortgage, and save her guests from a murderer.
339 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 29, 2025
91 people are currently reading
209 people want to read
About the author
Elizabeth Land Quant
1 book11 followersAuthor of F*CK THIS MURDER, some medical gaslighting essays and a lot of sad poetry. Queer, disabled, autistic. Loves being a mom and finding rocks, she also is the proud co-founder of The Unpopular Publishing Co., co-creator of AutisticAunties.com, and happily rents out adorable little cabins with shelves full of books in Arkansas.
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
August 7, 2025
Impeccably written, fabulously illustrated, witty, charming, surprising, and wry, F*ck This Murder is the wacky page-turner I didn't know I needed to read. The Autistic Aunties strike gold with their unforgettable cast of quirky, lovable characters and a plot that will keep you up all night reading. Book 2 can't come soon enough!
October 19, 2025
This quirky little book was so much fun, with a zany cast of characters, that fits in some meaningful character development and representation along with solving mysterious disappearances and revealing ancient history. Definitely a laugh-out-loud story with a few gasps along the way!
October 12, 2025
This one started a little rocky for me, but as the story went on, I was INVESTED. This was a fast paced, slightly silly, mystery.
October 23, 2025
This title was selected for IngramSpark's Indie Title Discovery Spotlight 2025!
A hilariously playful murder mystery perfect for fans of cozy crime capers, laugh-out-loud chaos, and diverse character representation. Can't wait for the next book in this series!
A hilariously playful murder mystery perfect for fans of cozy crime capers, laugh-out-loud chaos, and diverse character representation. Can't wait for the next book in this series!
October 4, 2025
Autistic, queer, chronically ill, AND A BOXER DOG!? Never has a main character made me feel so represented. I devoured this book in one day.
August 5, 2025
F*ck This Murder is a fresh, fun, quirky take on the mystery genre, and one I’d highly recommend you pick up. Now!
Maggie’s life has only just started to come back together after a painful breakup with her ex-husband, Lance. She’s transformed her family’s old bootlegging country house into a B&B, but in order to keep the electricity and water going, and pay the mortgage, she’s got to survive a week with the most needy wedding party on the planet. Oh, and it just so happens to be composed entirely of people who tortured her in high school.
With a dead body to hide from a health inspector, secret passageways, wedding activities gone awry (poison ivy and secret roofies to name only two), and a blackmail plot going back to their graduation night, this book is a fast ride of hilarious hijinks from head to hindquarters.
The mystery itself is well laid out, with lots of possible motives and agendas floating around, and I loved the twist at the end that I did not see coming!
The voice of the writing is playful, lighthearted, and humorous. Most “funny” books throw a punchline at you here and there, but the authors in this book do a good job of creating situational humour and moments that feel like they organically arise from the characters’ traits and make you smile.
The characters represent a diverse bunch in all forms of the word, but I never felt like the story was trying to prove a point by including these perspectives. They felt genuine and only served to increase the depth of character, making them all more believable humans.
This mystery is cozy like a cup of hot cocoa with a splash of bourbon: comfort with the odd racy hit of a penis in your face at one in the morning.
Maggie’s life has only just started to come back together after a painful breakup with her ex-husband, Lance. She’s transformed her family’s old bootlegging country house into a B&B, but in order to keep the electricity and water going, and pay the mortgage, she’s got to survive a week with the most needy wedding party on the planet. Oh, and it just so happens to be composed entirely of people who tortured her in high school.
With a dead body to hide from a health inspector, secret passageways, wedding activities gone awry (poison ivy and secret roofies to name only two), and a blackmail plot going back to their graduation night, this book is a fast ride of hilarious hijinks from head to hindquarters.
The mystery itself is well laid out, with lots of possible motives and agendas floating around, and I loved the twist at the end that I did not see coming!
The voice of the writing is playful, lighthearted, and humorous. Most “funny” books throw a punchline at you here and there, but the authors in this book do a good job of creating situational humour and moments that feel like they organically arise from the characters’ traits and make you smile.
The characters represent a diverse bunch in all forms of the word, but I never felt like the story was trying to prove a point by including these perspectives. They felt genuine and only served to increase the depth of character, making them all more believable humans.
This mystery is cozy like a cup of hot cocoa with a splash of bourbon: comfort with the odd racy hit of a penis in your face at one in the morning.
November 12, 2025
A fun and witty story! I appreciated not being able to figure out the mystery prior to the reveal. There is nothing worse than predicting the ending 2 chapters in.
The story structure and cast of characters gave me a literary 'The White Lotus' series vibe.
I kind of want to stay at the B & B :)
The story structure and cast of characters gave me a literary 'The White Lotus' series vibe.
I kind of want to stay at the B & B :)
August 6, 2025
F*ck This Murder delivers exactly the right blend of humor and pathos to make you laugh, scream and demand your bestie read this book next. In a time when things are tilting toward tyranny, this joyfully neurodivergent book, which celebrates our differences and our intersections, lets you sink into a world you’ll be reluctant to leave.
January 16, 2026
Maggie is hitting a wedding at her newly opened Bed and Breakfast when a visitor suddenly dies. Then, as a wedding celebration begins, things start going strangely wrong.
Is it a accident, or is someone doing this?
Turns out several of them are being blackmailed, apparently by a dead classmate. They all did SOMETHING bad enough that if it gets revealed it'll ruin them.
Decent mystery, good wrap up.
3.5 out of 5
Is it a accident, or is someone doing this?
Turns out several of them are being blackmailed, apparently by a dead classmate. They all did SOMETHING bad enough that if it gets revealed it'll ruin them.
Decent mystery, good wrap up.
3.5 out of 5
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews