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The Mortuary Misfits #1
Seven Graves
THE MORTICIAN
I’ve always known I was different.
My name is Seven Grey, and I hang out with dead people. Yes, Seven like the number, and yes…literal dead people. I’m the only mortician in a small town tucked away in backwoods Maine, and I’ve known this was my dream job since the day they asked us on our first day of Kindergarten. I know who I am, and I don’t apologize for it. Death is just different for me. Which is why my second job works even better than my first.
They call me ‘The Cleaning Lady’.
People die. It’s just a part of life. How certain ones die is none of my business and I don’t ask questions when I work for bad people for ludicrous price tags, making their dirty deeds disappear like they never happened. They call, I clean, I leave.
…So how did I end up being the center of attention for the heir to the Irish mob with the threat of accessory to murder charges hanging over my head? Well, that’s a story worthy of small town gossip.
Malek Byrne is the most deranged, annoying, ridiculous…beautiful…persistent…pain in my ass. I rue the day that he inserted himself into my life. But he’s just about impossible to resist, not just because he forces a smile that hasn’t been part of my dark wardrobe in years…but because he refuses to leave me the hell alone.
He drops bodies…I clean them. It should be that simple.
It’s not.
He’s got a list as long as my name and I’ve saddled up for a ride I can’t get off of…
…Even if I wanted to…
Morally Grey FMC and MMC
Forced Proximity
Deranged Golden Retriever x Black Cat
He Falls First
Frenemies to Lovers
Touch her and die
Stalker Romance
Ridiculously Dark Humor
I’ve always known I was different.
My name is Seven Grey, and I hang out with dead people. Yes, Seven like the number, and yes…literal dead people. I’m the only mortician in a small town tucked away in backwoods Maine, and I’ve known this was my dream job since the day they asked us on our first day of Kindergarten. I know who I am, and I don’t apologize for it. Death is just different for me. Which is why my second job works even better than my first.
They call me ‘The Cleaning Lady’.
People die. It’s just a part of life. How certain ones die is none of my business and I don’t ask questions when I work for bad people for ludicrous price tags, making their dirty deeds disappear like they never happened. They call, I clean, I leave.
…So how did I end up being the center of attention for the heir to the Irish mob with the threat of accessory to murder charges hanging over my head? Well, that’s a story worthy of small town gossip.
Malek Byrne is the most deranged, annoying, ridiculous…beautiful…persistent…pain in my ass. I rue the day that he inserted himself into my life. But he’s just about impossible to resist, not just because he forces a smile that hasn’t been part of my dark wardrobe in years…but because he refuses to leave me the hell alone.
He drops bodies…I clean them. It should be that simple.
It’s not.
He’s got a list as long as my name and I’ve saddled up for a ride I can’t get off of…
…Even if I wanted to…
Morally Grey FMC and MMC
Forced Proximity
Deranged Golden Retriever x Black Cat
He Falls First
Frenemies to Lovers
Touch her and die
Stalker Romance
Ridiculously Dark Humor
260 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 1, 2025
About the author
H.B. Elliott
8 books143 followersH.B. Elliott is an over-caffeinated book nerd from North Carolina, where she lives with her husband, her two amazing children, a dog that thinks she's a chew toy, and a cat that's ten times more temperamental.
She started writing in her early teens, and was inspired by dark moody legends like Edgar Allan Poe. Art and photography were a staple in her creative development and remains that way into her adulthood. Her main genre and focus is Romance, though she's acquired a good many hats within that spectrum.
Fantasy is a gateway.
Historical fiction is a drug.
Dark romance is non-negotiable.
Love is more binding than the spine of any book.
Elliott is a firm believer in the Savior, and credits all her success to His name.
After all...He's the one who told her she can do all things.
He also still reprimands her on a regular basis of all the smut she continues to read.
She started writing in her early teens, and was inspired by dark moody legends like Edgar Allan Poe. Art and photography were a staple in her creative development and remains that way into her adulthood. Her main genre and focus is Romance, though she's acquired a good many hats within that spectrum.
Fantasy is a gateway.
Historical fiction is a drug.
Dark romance is non-negotiable.
Love is more binding than the spine of any book.
Elliott is a firm believer in the Savior, and credits all her success to His name.
After all...He's the one who told her she can do all things.
He also still reprimands her on a regular basis of all the smut she continues to read.
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September 14, 2026I really enjoyed this one. The banter and chemistry were good. There were moments I laughed out loud even though it definitely leaned darker. The pacing kept things moving, and there was enough tension in both the romance and Seven’s side of the story to keep me invested.
Seven was the strongest part of the story for me. I loved her side of things, and I found myself more interested in what was happening with her than anything else. She felt like the one carrying the story. I love a strong FMC who has enough going on outside of the romance to keep me interested.
The narration was good, but I did have a harder time with the dual format. Both narrators did great in their own chapters, but there were moments where hearing the same characters voiced differently pulled me out a little. It took me a few chapters to settle into it, but it still didn’t take away from how much I enjoyed the actual story.
I recommend this for readers who like dark romance, good banter and chemistry, strong tension, and a strong FMC.
Seven was the strongest part of the story for me. I loved her side of things, and I found myself more interested in what was happening with her than anything else. She felt like the one carrying the story. I love a strong FMC who has enough going on outside of the romance to keep me interested.
The narration was good, but I did have a harder time with the dual format. Both narrators did great in their own chapters, but there were moments where hearing the same characters voiced differently pulled me out a little. It took me a few chapters to settle into it, but it still didn’t take away from how much I enjoyed the actual story.
I recommend this for readers who like dark romance, good banter and chemistry, strong tension, and a strong FMC.
March 30, 2026
Я, бляха, дуже зла.. 😁 на Юльку(закреслено) на Севен 🙈😈....
Я більше всього у книжках терпіти не можу:
1. розрив у 3му акті
2. розрив у 3му акті через нелогічні, незрозумілі і непояснені для мене причини від тупих, бісячих ЖГГ.. 😎🤪
Всю книжка Севен практично (практично) не викликала в мене негативних дратівливих емоцій, а потім "тиць-пиздиць" і "до побачення".. і ясно ж, що лишаться вони разом, нахєра так робити? 😡🫣
Коротше, через це я дуже довго думала, яку ж оцінку, у підсумку, поставити.. і вирішила, що все ж таки ближче до 5, бо книжка справді класна, цікава, з сюжетом та смачними ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥 сценами. Їх не дуже багато, але вони круті 😏😍
В Малеку все як я люблю 💝🫶🏻 3 пірсинги зверху донизу 😁 Татуювання всюди (трошки не вистачило опису), несподівано він рижий - для мене він все рівно був брюнетом з ледь помітним руденьким переливом у волоссі🤭😁
Класний гумор як у ЧГГ, так і в усій книжці)) Я прямо класно так хихотіла і сміялася іноді 😁😂
Дуже сподобалися відносини у сім'ї Севен 🫶🏻
А взагалі, книжка мені дуже схожа на Трунар та Найманець (ЧЧ-роман). Вона так само чудова як і ця 🫶🏻
У підсумку десь 4.75 ⭐ у мене оцінка. Все було прекрасно до останніх 10% книжки 🫣Автори, будь ласка, не робіть так навмисно.. Тут все це було зайвим..
Я більше всього у книжках терпіти не можу:
1. розрив у 3му акті
2. розрив у 3му акті через нелогічні, незрозумілі і непояснені для мене причини від тупих, бісячих ЖГГ.. 😎🤪
Всю книжка Севен практично (практично) не викликала в мене негативних дратівливих емоцій, а потім "тиць-пиздиць" і "до побачення".. і ясно ж, що лишаться вони разом, нахєра так робити? 😡🫣
Коротше, через це я дуже довго думала, яку ж оцінку, у підсумку, поставити.. і вирішила, що все ж таки ближче до 5, бо книжка справді класна, цікава, з сюжетом та смачними ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥 сценами. Їх не дуже багато, але вони круті 😏😍
В Малеку все як я люблю 💝🫶🏻 3 пірсинги зверху донизу 😁 Татуювання всюди (трошки не вистачило опису), несподівано він рижий - для мене він все рівно був брюнетом з ледь помітним руденьким переливом у волоссі🤭😁
Класний гумор як у ЧГГ, так і в усій книжці)) Я прямо класно так хихотіла і сміялася іноді 😁😂
Дуже сподобалися відносини у сім'ї Севен 🫶🏻
А взагалі, книжка мені дуже схожа на Трунар та Найманець (ЧЧ-роман). Вона так само чудова як і ця 🫶🏻
У підсумку десь 4.75 ⭐ у мене оцінка. Все було прекрасно до останніх 10% книжки 🫣Автори, будь ласка, не робіть так навмисно.. Тут все це було зайвим..
September 22, 2025
Rating: •5⭐️•
Spice: 3🌶️
Recommend?: YESSS ABSOLUTLEY
-OVERALL THOUGHTS-
this was incredible, holy crap. The humor, the darkness, the plot. ALL AMAZINGGGG!! My mom got the arc for this book, and told me I would like it, and I owe everything to her and this author. I had no complaints about this book, and think anyone who likes dark romance should read this!🙌🏼
-SEVEN GREY-
The woman that you are Seven… her being a metalhead lit my little heart on the best fire ever, cuz me too bestie. She is a total baddie who don’t care about nothin! FINNALY an amazing FMC with an actual personality in a romance book, my goodness I’ve been searching for you for a longggg time. 💋
-MALEK BYRNE-
Oh my…🤭 this man is SOMETHING ELSEEEE. He had me rolling on the floor laughing with his inner monologue, and jokes. ”Blushing face” (iykyk). He’s in my top 10 book men, with his mouth, tattoos, and personality. Wait, did I mention his mouth?? He is a man that will talk you through it! Had me swooning, kicking my feet, and turning red with some of the things he said to Seven. 😮💨 (and will kill for his woman)
-CLOSING WORDS-
Thank you H.B Elliott for writing this dark and twisted love story! This was an amazing time, and a book I will not forget. Please, I’m begging you, to write another book🖤🙏🏼
Can’t wait to buy the physical copy!
Makennah xx
Spice: 3🌶️
Recommend?: YESSS ABSOLUTLEY
-OVERALL THOUGHTS-
this was incredible, holy crap. The humor, the darkness, the plot. ALL AMAZINGGGG!! My mom got the arc for this book, and told me I would like it, and I owe everything to her and this author. I had no complaints about this book, and think anyone who likes dark romance should read this!🙌🏼
-SEVEN GREY-
The woman that you are Seven… her being a metalhead lit my little heart on the best fire ever, cuz me too bestie. She is a total baddie who don’t care about nothin! FINNALY an amazing FMC with an actual personality in a romance book, my goodness I’ve been searching for you for a longggg time. 💋
-MALEK BYRNE-
Oh my…🤭 this man is SOMETHING ELSEEEE. He had me rolling on the floor laughing with his inner monologue, and jokes. ”Blushing face” (iykyk). He’s in my top 10 book men, with his mouth, tattoos, and personality. Wait, did I mention his mouth?? He is a man that will talk you through it! Had me swooning, kicking my feet, and turning red with some of the things he said to Seven. 😮💨 (and will kill for his woman)
-CLOSING WORDS-
Thank you H.B Elliott for writing this dark and twisted love story! This was an amazing time, and a book I will not forget. Please, I’m begging you, to write another book🖤🙏🏼
Can’t wait to buy the physical copy!
Makennah xx
April 2, 2026
⭐4.5/5.
Нууу, якщо ірландці так вирішують свої справи і конфлікти з іншими, то я розумію, чому про них завжди пишуть, як про найменше мафіозне групування 😁. Вони ж просто самі себе вирізають за любий пчих не в ту сторону 🙉.
У будь якій непонятній ситуації найкращим рішенням є розчлiньонка: проблеми в коханні - вийми хребет іншому тіпу; проблеми з боржником - розпелехай його, щоб кишки на ноги вивалились; "політичні" і фінансові проблеми в клані - переріж всіх нафіг, своїх/чужих, немає людей, немає проблем 🙌🏼.
Мені дуже сподобався чорний гумор ☠️ гг, сарказм Севен, ірландські забобони Малека 🍀 та їхня взаємодія протягом усієї книжки ♥️. Стосовно того, що Севен схожа на колишню, то більше на це увагу звертали інші, ніж сам Малек, було від самого початку зрозуміло, що він зацікавився нею, а не тим, що вона двійник його покійної колишньої.
Автор дуже гарно та атмосферно розкрила професію ⚰️ Севен.
І після фінального махіча, було б цікаво більше дізнатись про інших клієнтів з підроботки Севен 😈.
Нууу, якщо ірландці так вирішують свої справи і конфлікти з іншими, то я розумію, чому про них завжди пишуть, як про найменше мафіозне групування 😁. Вони ж просто самі себе вирізають за любий пчих не в ту сторону 🙉.
У будь якій непонятній ситуації найкращим рішенням є розчлiньонка: проблеми в коханні - вийми хребет іншому тіпу; проблеми з боржником - розпелехай його, щоб кишки на ноги вивалились; "політичні" і фінансові проблеми в клані - переріж всіх нафіг, своїх/чужих, немає людей, немає проблем 🙌🏼.
Мені дуже сподобався чорний гумор ☠️ гг, сарказм Севен, ірландські забобони Малека 🍀 та їхня взаємодія протягом усієї книжки ♥️. Стосовно того, що Севен схожа на колишню, то більше на це увагу звертали інші, ніж сам Малек, було від самого початку зрозуміло, що він зацікавився нею, а не тим, що вона двійник його покійної колишньої.
Автор дуже гарно та атмосферно розкрила професію ⚰️ Севен.
І після фінального махіча, було б цікаво більше дізнатись про інших клієнтів з підроботки Севен 😈.
August 16, 2025
My absolute top read of the year! There is not a thing I could say to do this book the justice it deserves! This dark romantic comedy deserves every single star!!
If you loved the funny MMC vibes like Josh from Lights Out, but add an Irish accent and make him even funnier, and the funny mortician vibes in Living Dead Girl (minus the necrophilia ya know) this book is for you!
This book gave me everything I didn’t know I needed! Malek is thee book boyfriend of book boyfriends! Seven was absolutely hilarious, and an FMC I’d want to be BFFs with. The dark mafia vibes, filled with witty banter, the most relatable humor, and side characters that just complete the story!
Seven is a mortician, and a little bit of an outcast that is unlucky in the love department. She also has a little dark web side gig, that gets her wrapped up with the Irish mob.
Malek is the heir to the Irish mob, although he may not want the gig, he’s happy to fulfill his executioner duties in hopes of the revenge he desperately wants. When he meets Seven after a “cleaning” job, a blast from his past knocks him off his feet. Although she isn’t the girl he’s missing, she’s so much more.
Yes, Malek may be part of the Irish mob but he’s also the funniest character you’ll ever meet, and hilariously gullible! I cannot put into words how much I loved him! His Irish curses are just the icing on the cake!
Just do yourself a favor and read this! You will laugh, you’ll swoon, you’ll be pissed off, you’ll feel every emotion and pray that someone like Malek comes into your life! This is pure perfection!!
Thank you so much to every single book bestie that recommended this book to me, and to HB Elliott for allowing me to read this pre-release in exchange for my honest review.
If you loved the funny MMC vibes like Josh from Lights Out, but add an Irish accent and make him even funnier, and the funny mortician vibes in Living Dead Girl (minus the necrophilia ya know) this book is for you!
This book gave me everything I didn’t know I needed! Malek is thee book boyfriend of book boyfriends! Seven was absolutely hilarious, and an FMC I’d want to be BFFs with. The dark mafia vibes, filled with witty banter, the most relatable humor, and side characters that just complete the story!
Seven is a mortician, and a little bit of an outcast that is unlucky in the love department. She also has a little dark web side gig, that gets her wrapped up with the Irish mob.
Malek is the heir to the Irish mob, although he may not want the gig, he’s happy to fulfill his executioner duties in hopes of the revenge he desperately wants. When he meets Seven after a “cleaning” job, a blast from his past knocks him off his feet. Although she isn’t the girl he’s missing, she’s so much more.
Yes, Malek may be part of the Irish mob but he’s also the funniest character you’ll ever meet, and hilariously gullible! I cannot put into words how much I loved him! His Irish curses are just the icing on the cake!
Just do yourself a favor and read this! You will laugh, you’ll swoon, you’ll be pissed off, you’ll feel every emotion and pray that someone like Malek comes into your life! This is pure perfection!!
Thank you so much to every single book bestie that recommended this book to me, and to HB Elliott for allowing me to read this pre-release in exchange for my honest review.
March 30, 2026
5/5⭐️
Навіть не очікувала, що буде так круто, трішки смішний, деколи щемливий, але загалом лайтовий та цікавий дарк, дуже сподобались герої❤️
Навіть не очікувала, що буде так круто, трішки смішний, деколи щемливий, але загалом лайтовий та цікавий дарк, дуже сподобались герої❤️
March 20, 2026
Тропи:
🌹Dark Romance
🌹Ірландська Mafia romance
🌹Morally Grey
🌹Від ворогів до коханців
🌹Доторкнись до неї і 💀
🌹Вимушена близькість
🌹Він закохується першим
🌹Чорна кішка/Золотистий ретривер-псих
ТРИГЕРИ:
⚰️смерть як центральна тема
⚰️робота з тілами (морг, похоронна справа)
⚰️детальні описи анатомії та обробки тіл
⚰️графічне насильство
⚰️вбивства, кров, жорстокість
⚰️тортури
⚰️переслідування
⚰️утилізація тіл
⚰️згадки про самогубство
⚰️самоушкодження
⚰️депресія
⚰️психічні розлади
⚰️вживання психоактивних речовин
⚰️БДСМ елементи
⚰️ігри з контролем/домінуванням
⚰️ігри з диханням/ігри з ножем
⚰️бондаж
⚰️використання секс-іграшок
⚰️анальні практики
⚰️елементи деградації
⚰️плювання
⚰️сексуальні сцени у нетипових/табу-контекстах
Відгук:
От бувають книги такі неймовірні, що про них навіть нема що сказати, і ця книга є однією з таких. Герої — бляха, які ж вони неймовірні! Думаю, я їх надовго запам'ятаю😋. Вони скажені з ідеальним рівнем божевілля. Окрім вайбових героїв, був присутній цікавий кримінальний сюжет, і мені сподобалося, що він гармонійно пов'язаний із любовною лінією і не перебиває її. Всі події мають причинно-наслідковий зв'язок, герої НЕ тупі. І в справжньому дусі дарк-романів тут дуже смачна мокруха: скажена, брудна, феєрична, я б сказала.
Севен — я на неї молитися готова. Це одна з небагатьох книг, де мені більше запала в серце головна героїня, а не герой. Вона мортильниця, що само по собі робить її вже крутою; ця жінка гостра на язик (обожнюю таких ЖГГ). Аааа, я від її опору готова пісяти кіп’ятком, тому цілком розумію вічний стояк Малека на неї. Я не знаю, як ще її розвалити, тому читайте й ви, хваліть теж 😁.
Малек — йобен-бобен, він така бусяяя! Троп «золотистий ретривер-псих» прямо на 1000% його описує. Ахаха, я б його назвала слухняним хлопчиком у найзбоченішому сенсі. Впродовж книги я від душі сміялася з нього, він додавав особливого шарму історії.
Ну що ж, я сміло даю цій історії почесний титул «Книга місяця». Вона принесла мені неймовірну насолоду і хороші емоції 🌹
Оцінка: ♾️/5
Ну що, хто спокусився на книгу? 😈
🌹Dark Romance
🌹Ірландська Mafia romance
🌹Morally Grey
🌹Від ворогів до коханців
🌹Доторкнись до неї і 💀
🌹Вимушена близькість
🌹Він закохується першим
🌹Чорна кішка/Золотистий ретривер-псих
ТРИГЕРИ:
⚰️смерть як центральна тема
⚰️робота з тілами (морг, похоронна справа)
⚰️детальні описи анатомії та обробки тіл
⚰️графічне насильство
⚰️вбивства, кров, жорстокість
⚰️тортури
⚰️переслідування
⚰️утилізація тіл
⚰️згадки про самогубство
⚰️самоушкодження
⚰️депресія
⚰️психічні розлади
⚰️вживання психоактивних речовин
⚰️БДСМ елементи
⚰️ігри з контролем/домінуванням
⚰️ігри з диханням/ігри з ножем
⚰️бондаж
⚰️використання секс-іграшок
⚰️анальні практики
⚰️елементи деградації
⚰️плювання
⚰️сексуальні сцени у нетипових/табу-контекстах
Відгук:
От бувають книги такі неймовірні, що про них навіть нема що сказати, і ця книга є однією з таких. Герої — бляха, які ж вони неймовірні! Думаю, я їх надовго запам'ятаю😋. Вони скажені з ідеальним рівнем божевілля. Окрім вайбових героїв, був присутній цікавий кримінальний сюжет, і мені сподобалося, що він гармонійно пов'язаний із любовною лінією і не перебиває її. Всі події мають причинно-наслідковий зв'язок, герої НЕ тупі. І в справжньому дусі дарк-романів тут дуже смачна мокруха: скажена, брудна, феєрична, я б сказала.
Севен — я на неї молитися готова. Це одна з небагатьох книг, де мені більше запала в серце головна героїня, а не герой. Вона мортильниця, що само по собі робить її вже крутою; ця жінка гостра на язик (обожнюю таких ЖГГ). Аааа, я від її опору готова пісяти кіп’ятком, тому цілком розумію вічний стояк Малека на неї. Я не знаю, як ще її розвалити, тому читайте й ви, хваліть теж 😁.
Малек — йобен-бобен, він така бусяяя! Троп «золотистий ретривер-псих» прямо на 1000% його описує. Ахаха, я б його назвала слухняним хлопчиком у найзбоченішому сенсі. Впродовж книги я від душі сміялася з нього, він додавав особливого шарму історії.
Ну що ж, я сміло даю цій історії почесний титул «Книга місяця». Вона принесла мені неймовірну насолоду і хороші емоції 🌹
Оцінка: ♾️/5
Ну що, хто спокусився на книгу? 😈
August 13, 2025
5 / 5 ⭐️
5 / 5 🌶️
Method: ARC read (my first one ever!!)
🔪🩸☠️⚰️🪦🍀🇮🇪
I LOVED this book!
Seven Grey is our FMC working as a mortician in her family run Funeral home. But on the side, she’s a “Cleaning Lady” for bad people who need bodies to be removed and the room ‘cleaned’ 🧹🧽🧼
Enter stage right - Malek FU€KING Byrne! (Your next book boyfriend!! 😉) He is our Irish mafia “executioner”, tattooed, pierced, ginger who can’t hold a tune to save his life MMC.
After a pretty tense cleaning situation where they meet, Mal can’t stop thinking about his “little Viper” and asks her (well.. really he threatens her with blackmail) to help him with a few upcoming jobs.
I’m not delving into the story anymore cos I don’t wanna spoilt it, but this would have to be one of my favourite ever dark Rom-Com reads.
It’s dark, it’s sexy, it’s funny AF!! And this will definitely be a re-read for me again and again 🥰
Enjoy!!!!!
“How the fuck did I get this fortunate? Luck of the Irish, I suppose…” - Malek Byrne.
5 / 5 🌶️
Method: ARC read (my first one ever!!)
🔪🩸☠️⚰️🪦🍀🇮🇪
I LOVED this book!
Seven Grey is our FMC working as a mortician in her family run Funeral home. But on the side, she’s a “Cleaning Lady” for bad people who need bodies to be removed and the room ‘cleaned’ 🧹🧽🧼
Enter stage right - Malek FU€KING Byrne! (Your next book boyfriend!! 😉) He is our Irish mafia “executioner”, tattooed, pierced, ginger who can’t hold a tune to save his life MMC.
After a pretty tense cleaning situation where they meet, Mal can’t stop thinking about his “little Viper” and asks her (well.. really he threatens her with blackmail) to help him with a few upcoming jobs.
I’m not delving into the story anymore cos I don’t wanna spoilt it, but this would have to be one of my favourite ever dark Rom-Com reads.
It’s dark, it’s sexy, it’s funny AF!! And this will definitely be a re-read for me again and again 🥰
Enjoy!!!!!
“How the fuck did I get this fortunate? Luck of the Irish, I suppose…” - Malek Byrne.
April 5, 2026
"I clean up their dirty deeds, but I wasn't ready for him."
I went into Seven Graves for the mortician FMC and stayed for the absolute chaos that is Malek Byrne. Seven Grey hangs out with the dead and cleans up after the living...Then enters Malek, the "Deranged Golden Retriever" heir to a mob family; how can you literally need anything more? The banter is sharp, the humor is deliciously dark, and the "Touch her and die" energy is off the charts.
I went into Seven Graves for the mortician FMC and stayed for the absolute chaos that is Malek Byrne. Seven Grey hangs out with the dead and cleans up after the living...Then enters Malek, the "Deranged Golden Retriever" heir to a mob family; how can you literally need anything more? The banter is sharp, the humor is deliciously dark, and the "Touch her and die" energy is off the charts.
March 2, 2026
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (3.75 rounded up)
I was NOT expecting to cackle out loud the way I did reading this. For a book about a mortician who moonlights as a crime scene cleaner for the Irish mob, this had rom-com levels of banter and I ate it up.
Seven Grey is a mortician by day and “The Cleaning Lady” by night — the woman you call when you need a body (or five) to disappear without questions asked. She’s weird, unapologetically herself, a total town outcast… and honestly? I loved that for her.
Enter Malik Byrne — executioner for the Irish mob and walking red flag in very attractive packaging. One look at Seven and he’s obsessed. Not just because she’s intriguing, but because she looks exactly like his childhood best friend turned love of his life… who died seven years ago.
And because he’s a superstitious man, when a cleaner named Seven shows up on the seven-year anniversary of her death after a revenge killing? Oh, he’s spiraling.
Does he woo her like a normal person?
Absolutely not.
He blackmails her instead.
Now Seven is stuck helping him “clean” the bodies on his revenge list to keep herself out of prison — and the forced proximity that follows is pure chaos.
The dynamic between them had me laughing out loud. She gives him constant sass. He dishes it right back. He’s unhinged but low-key golden retriever coded when it comes to her, and watching him soften around the edges for the one woman who’s never been chosen for anything? That melted me a little.
And Seven? She makes him WORK for it. She does not fold easily. She doesn’t swoon just because he’s intense and obsessed. When their chemistry finally ignites, though? It’s a full three-alarm fire.
Yes, there’s a third-act breakup.
Yes, we get the HEA.
And yes… we add another spicy graveyard scene to the roster.
If you like:
• Morally gray FMC & MMC
• Deranged golden retriever x black cat
• He falls first (hard)
• Forced proximity
• Stalker vibes
• Touch her and die energy
• Dark humor that will catch you off guard
This one’s worth the ride.
Not a perfect five-star for me, but wildly entertaining, unhinged in the best way, and proof that even murder clean-up can be romantic if you’re delusional enough. And honestly? I respect it.
I was NOT expecting to cackle out loud the way I did reading this. For a book about a mortician who moonlights as a crime scene cleaner for the Irish mob, this had rom-com levels of banter and I ate it up.
Seven Grey is a mortician by day and “The Cleaning Lady” by night — the woman you call when you need a body (or five) to disappear without questions asked. She’s weird, unapologetically herself, a total town outcast… and honestly? I loved that for her.
Enter Malik Byrne — executioner for the Irish mob and walking red flag in very attractive packaging. One look at Seven and he’s obsessed. Not just because she’s intriguing, but because she looks exactly like his childhood best friend turned love of his life… who died seven years ago.
And because he’s a superstitious man, when a cleaner named Seven shows up on the seven-year anniversary of her death after a revenge killing? Oh, he’s spiraling.
Does he woo her like a normal person?
Absolutely not.
He blackmails her instead.
Now Seven is stuck helping him “clean” the bodies on his revenge list to keep herself out of prison — and the forced proximity that follows is pure chaos.
The dynamic between them had me laughing out loud. She gives him constant sass. He dishes it right back. He’s unhinged but low-key golden retriever coded when it comes to her, and watching him soften around the edges for the one woman who’s never been chosen for anything? That melted me a little.
And Seven? She makes him WORK for it. She does not fold easily. She doesn’t swoon just because he’s intense and obsessed. When their chemistry finally ignites, though? It’s a full three-alarm fire.
Yes, there’s a third-act breakup.
Yes, we get the HEA.
And yes… we add another spicy graveyard scene to the roster.
If you like:
• Morally gray FMC & MMC
• Deranged golden retriever x black cat
• He falls first (hard)
• Forced proximity
• Stalker vibes
• Touch her and die energy
• Dark humor that will catch you off guard
This one’s worth the ride.
Not a perfect five-star for me, but wildly entertaining, unhinged in the best way, and proof that even murder clean-up can be romantic if you’re delusional enough. And honestly? I respect it.
May 19, 2026
An absolute 5⭐️ read. Dark, hysterical, and highly inappropriate for polite “society”. An Irish mob executioner somehow has a Golden Retriever energy and finds his soulmate in a sassy, sarcastic, small town mortician who moonlights as a crime scene cleaner. Essentially, this was a Disney movie if Disney movies involved dismemberment.
September 23, 2026
This was SO good. Right from the first page I was hooked. It is packed with dark humour, sarcasm and banter for daaaays. The tension between the MMC and FMC is fantastic and the story in itself is amazing! Maffia, killings, a mortician, an FMC that is a total badass, a MMC that is dark and unhinged but still a big golden retreiver. I had so much fun with this one, it might actually be the best rom-com romance I've ever read! It really had it all.
"...But me never got so lucky, as the day I called 'ye mine..."
The luck of the Irish ❤️
"...But me never got so lucky, as the day I called 'ye mine..."
The luck of the Irish ❤️
September 30, 2026
5⭐️|5🌶️
Spicy Chapters: 12, 17, 20, 21, 27, E
This book was an absolute blast! The banter had me laughing out loud, the storyline was refreshingly different, and the whole thing was the perfect combination of dark, unhinged, and ridiculously entertaining. 😂
Seven Grey is a mortician who works for her family business, but when she’s not preparing the dead for their final goodbye, she has a little side hustle as a “cleaner” for the mob. Because apparently one job just isn’t enough. 😏
Seven has always been the misunderstood weirdo—the girl people don’t quite know what to do with. Naturally, her dating life is basically nonexistent, with her dates practically sprinting for the nearest exit.
Then, during one of her less-than-legal side gigs, she meets Malek Byrne, an Irishman who is about to become a very persistent problem.
Because Seven may be used to getting rid of bodies…
…but she has no idea how to get rid of Malek. 😂
And trust me, this man is NOT taking the hint.
The chemistry, the banter, the absolutely unhinged situations—I was entertained from beginning to end. If you’re looking for a dark romance with a quirky FMC, a persistent Irish MMC, plenty of laughs, and a storyline that keeps things interesting, this one is definitely worth picking up.🖤⚰️
Spicy Chapters: 12, 17, 20, 21, 27, E
This book was an absolute blast! The banter had me laughing out loud, the storyline was refreshingly different, and the whole thing was the perfect combination of dark, unhinged, and ridiculously entertaining. 😂
Seven Grey is a mortician who works for her family business, but when she’s not preparing the dead for their final goodbye, she has a little side hustle as a “cleaner” for the mob. Because apparently one job just isn’t enough. 😏
Seven has always been the misunderstood weirdo—the girl people don’t quite know what to do with. Naturally, her dating life is basically nonexistent, with her dates practically sprinting for the nearest exit.
Then, during one of her less-than-legal side gigs, she meets Malek Byrne, an Irishman who is about to become a very persistent problem.
Because Seven may be used to getting rid of bodies…
…but she has no idea how to get rid of Malek. 😂
And trust me, this man is NOT taking the hint.
The chemistry, the banter, the absolutely unhinged situations—I was entertained from beginning to end. If you’re looking for a dark romance with a quirky FMC, a persistent Irish MMC, plenty of laughs, and a storyline that keeps things interesting, this one is definitely worth picking up.🖤⚰️
June 6, 2026
Absolutely. Fucking. Brilliant.
This was my first time reading H.B. Elliott and I'm officially obsessed. The dark humor? Perfection. The banter? Top tier. Every conversation had me grinning like an idiot.
And I'm just gonna say it...
I enjoyed this more than Butcher & Blackbird. Yep, I said what I said. Don't throw tomatoes at me. 🍅💀
Malek and Seven were an absolute riot. He's the Executioner for the Irish Mob. She's a mortician by day and the infamous Cleaning Lady by night. He drops the bodies. She makes them disappear. Match made in dark-romance heaven. 🖤
Both of them are feisty as hell, morally grey, and completely unhinged in the best way possible. The chemistry was electric, the humor landed every single time, and the whole aesthetic of this book just worked.
I laughed, I cringed, I swooned, and I immediately needed more.
This was my first time reading H.B. Elliott and I'm officially obsessed. The dark humor? Perfection. The banter? Top tier. Every conversation had me grinning like an idiot.
And I'm just gonna say it...
I enjoyed this more than Butcher & Blackbird. Yep, I said what I said. Don't throw tomatoes at me. 🍅💀
Malek and Seven were an absolute riot. He's the Executioner for the Irish Mob. She's a mortician by day and the infamous Cleaning Lady by night. He drops the bodies. She makes them disappear. Match made in dark-romance heaven. 🖤
Both of them are feisty as hell, morally grey, and completely unhinged in the best way possible. The chemistry was electric, the humor landed every single time, and the whole aesthetic of this book just worked.
I laughed, I cringed, I swooned, and I immediately needed more.
Read
August 9, 2025Infinity stars!!! This has easily become my favorite dark romance read! I highlighted so many moments from laughing hard and swooning that my kindle looked like a coloring book! How will I pick my favorite quotes when 1/2 the book is highlighted! 232 highlights to be exact. I cannot praise this book enough, but lemme try.
For me it was difficult reading romcom and dark romance together. I typically like my books dark, but HB Elliot has somehow managed to blend them together with perfection! This was way better than any of the main stream dark romcoms I’ve read- blows them out of the water. I laughed so hard at this book but it still had the dark flare I love so much!
🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
Everybody dark romance reader wants to hear about the spice right? It was perfection. Not too much, not too little. Well balanced with character development and plot. And phew- it was written sexy AF. The amount of times I have been lost in spice scenes. Who is touching who where and how- not an issue in this book. HB Elliot wrote it so clear, I could see every single move and I was flushed and melting in my seat!
The characters:
Malek Byrnes is my new #1 book boyfriend! No question about it. The stalker you wanna be stalked by..A tattooed, pierced, smoking hot, frickin HILARIOUS, lovable fool who SAYS and DOES ALL the RIGHT THINGS. This man can do no wrong in my eyes. How do you tell your husband things are over because a fictional man has ruined all others for you?. 😆 jkjk
Seven our FMC is funny, witty and emotionally relatable- she didn’t get on my nerves once- which is huge for an FMC in my book. Okay well there was the one time, closer to the end where I got upset cause she hurt my boy and was being dumb about it BUT it was quickly corrected and sorta understandable. I loved her!
Bridget, Malek’s sister becomes quite lovable and funny as well as you get to know her. Her bond with her brother is adorable.
Seven’s whole family is funny with just an adorable family dynamic.
Family is huge in this book and seeing all of their bonds with each other was great. Weird for a dark romance normally but my gosh it worked.
Simon, a minor side character- haha what to say other than he’s a little bit more the man than you know and will have you chuckling too.
I was blessed to beta read this gem and finding corrective feedback for the author was a chore because it was already the most amazing DR I’ve read. She has crushed this!!
For me it was difficult reading romcom and dark romance together. I typically like my books dark, but HB Elliot has somehow managed to blend them together with perfection! This was way better than any of the main stream dark romcoms I’ve read- blows them out of the water. I laughed so hard at this book but it still had the dark flare I love so much!
🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
Everybody dark romance reader wants to hear about the spice right? It was perfection. Not too much, not too little. Well balanced with character development and plot. And phew- it was written sexy AF. The amount of times I have been lost in spice scenes. Who is touching who where and how- not an issue in this book. HB Elliot wrote it so clear, I could see every single move and I was flushed and melting in my seat!
The characters:
Malek Byrnes is my new #1 book boyfriend! No question about it. The stalker you wanna be stalked by..A tattooed, pierced, smoking hot, frickin HILARIOUS, lovable fool who SAYS and DOES ALL the RIGHT THINGS. This man can do no wrong in my eyes. How do you tell your husband things are over because a fictional man has ruined all others for you?. 😆 jkjk
Seven our FMC is funny, witty and emotionally relatable- she didn’t get on my nerves once- which is huge for an FMC in my book. Okay well there was the one time, closer to the end where I got upset cause she hurt my boy and was being dumb about it BUT it was quickly corrected and sorta understandable. I loved her!
Bridget, Malek’s sister becomes quite lovable and funny as well as you get to know her. Her bond with her brother is adorable.
Seven’s whole family is funny with just an adorable family dynamic.
Family is huge in this book and seeing all of their bonds with each other was great. Weird for a dark romance normally but my gosh it worked.
Simon, a minor side character- haha what to say other than he’s a little bit more the man than you know and will have you chuckling too.
I was blessed to beta read this gem and finding corrective feedback for the author was a chore because it was already the most amazing DR I’ve read. She has crushed this!!
September 10, 2025
Seven Graves is pure chaos in book form
This book is a mess in the best way. It’s dark, cruel, morbid and bloody, but also hilarious, kinky, and weirdly adorable.
Let’s start with Seven, our dark little mortician queen. Tattoos, makeup, embalming fluid for perfume, and a side hustle of cleaning murder scenes. Black cat energy for days. She’s sassy, sarcastic, and a little too comfortable cracking corpse jokes at inappropriate times. She’s a loner and a fierce aunt with whom no one dares to mess with.
And then we have Malek, who absolutely wiggled his fine ass into my world. He is lethal, cocky as hell, dangerously charming with an ego bigger than the Irish coastline, but also has a stomach full of sugar and a heart of gold buried under layers of trauma and sharp steel. He was raised on bloodshed since he was sixteen, armed with dimples and a knife fetish. Basically, a golden retriever dipped in gasoline and set on fire. Completely irresistible.
He also has a seven year old vendetta against a rival family. And he is ready to settle the score. It's also just happened that our little mortician was tasked to clean after him. And when she caught his eyes? The way she was resembling someone he loved and lost? It was game on. It's such a sweet meet-cute, right? Totally normal. The chemistry between these two is like mixing bleach and ammonia—explosive, toxic, and you probably shouldn’t breathe too deeply, but goddamn if it isn’t addictive.
Chaos. Pure, bloody chaos.
It’s also bloody entertaining. One chapter I was cackling at Seven’s sass or Malek’s sweet tooth, the next I was blushing and laughing over his not-so-subtle wooing… And then BAM—someone’s throat gets slit. It’s hilarious, kinky, violent, and somehow still manages to be swoony. Don’t ask me how. It just works.
And don’t even get me started on the side characters. Her brother. His sister. The sibling banter alone deserves its own damn novella. Toss in a Penguin-from-Batman wannabe waddling through and it’s straight-up chaos carnival energy.
I waited months for this release, and it delivered every drop of blood, banter, and batshit energy I wanted. When the audiobook drops? I’m clearing my schedule. Headphones in, world out.
This book is a mess in the best way. It’s dark, cruel, morbid and bloody, but also hilarious, kinky, and weirdly adorable.
Let’s start with Seven, our dark little mortician queen. Tattoos, makeup, embalming fluid for perfume, and a side hustle of cleaning murder scenes. Black cat energy for days. She’s sassy, sarcastic, and a little too comfortable cracking corpse jokes at inappropriate times. She’s a loner and a fierce aunt with whom no one dares to mess with.
And then we have Malek, who absolutely wiggled his fine ass into my world. He is lethal, cocky as hell, dangerously charming with an ego bigger than the Irish coastline, but also has a stomach full of sugar and a heart of gold buried under layers of trauma and sharp steel. He was raised on bloodshed since he was sixteen, armed with dimples and a knife fetish. Basically, a golden retriever dipped in gasoline and set on fire. Completely irresistible.
He also has a seven year old vendetta against a rival family. And he is ready to settle the score. It's also just happened that our little mortician was tasked to clean after him. And when she caught his eyes? The way she was resembling someone he loved and lost? It was game on. It's such a sweet meet-cute, right? Totally normal. The chemistry between these two is like mixing bleach and ammonia—explosive, toxic, and you probably shouldn’t breathe too deeply, but goddamn if it isn’t addictive.
Chaos. Pure, bloody chaos.
It’s also bloody entertaining. One chapter I was cackling at Seven’s sass or Malek’s sweet tooth, the next I was blushing and laughing over his not-so-subtle wooing… And then BAM—someone’s throat gets slit. It’s hilarious, kinky, violent, and somehow still manages to be swoony. Don’t ask me how. It just works.
And don’t even get me started on the side characters. Her brother. His sister. The sibling banter alone deserves its own damn novella. Toss in a Penguin-from-Batman wannabe waddling through and it’s straight-up chaos carnival energy.
I waited months for this release, and it delivered every drop of blood, banter, and batshit energy I wanted. When the audiobook drops? I’m clearing my schedule. Headphones in, world out.
September 14, 2025
Did I read the same thing that everyone else did?
The mailman character is so incredibly childish
The father figure that is the mob boss literally does nothing but wine all the time
They make it seem like the Sister is a treasured member of the household, but then her dad sells her off
The brother is also in love with her. I’m genuinely confused as to what the relationship Finn has with them.
The plot is supposed to be a black cat golden retriever couple and it’s really not
The female main character is supposed to be dark in Gothic and I was understanding her concept, but not really why she has a thing at all for the person that blackmailed her immediately
The main main character from the get-go is all about his ex-girlfriend, but then drops her the second. He sees the other girl that happens to look like her.
The main character also talks about her belief in God, but then later says she doesn’t think anyone has souls
It’s just kind of a mess and I wasn’t attached to anyone it kind of felt like they wanted to make a butcher of blackbird style of book and just really didn’t hit the mark
The mailman character is so incredibly childish
The father figure that is the mob boss literally does nothing but wine all the time
They make it seem like the Sister is a treasured member of the household, but then her dad sells her off
The brother is also in love with her. I’m genuinely confused as to what the relationship Finn has with them.
The plot is supposed to be a black cat golden retriever couple and it’s really not
The female main character is supposed to be dark in Gothic and I was understanding her concept, but not really why she has a thing at all for the person that blackmailed her immediately
The main main character from the get-go is all about his ex-girlfriend, but then drops her the second. He sees the other girl that happens to look like her.
The main character also talks about her belief in God, but then later says she doesn’t think anyone has souls
It’s just kind of a mess and I wasn’t attached to anyone it kind of felt like they wanted to make a butcher of blackbird style of book and just really didn’t hit the mark
September 16, 2026
This book had me in a fucking CHOKEHOLD. 🖤🔥
Seven and Malek were an absolute disaster in the BEST possible way. 😂 She’s a mortician and a professional “cleaning lady” for some very questionable people, and he’s the deranged Irish mob heir who just happens to keep dropping bodies for her to clean up. Like… obviously this was going to be a match made in heaven. 💀😂
The chemistry between these two?! 🔥🔥 The morally grey characters, forced proximity, he falls first, frenemies to lovers, stalker romance, and that deranged golden retriever x black cat dynamic had me completely hooked.
And the dark humor?! I fucking LOVED it. Seven was badass, unapologetic, and just the right amount of unhinged, while Malek was absolutely ridiculous, possessive, persistent, and somehow completely irresistible. 😂
I DEVOURED this one. If you like your romance dark, chaotic, morally questionable, and fucking hilarious, add this to your TBR.
And the audiobook was FANTASTIC. Aaron Shedlock and Angelina Rocca absolutely brought these characters to life. Their narration made an already addictive story even better. 🎧🔥
Seven and Malek were an absolute disaster in the BEST possible way. 😂 She’s a mortician and a professional “cleaning lady” for some very questionable people, and he’s the deranged Irish mob heir who just happens to keep dropping bodies for her to clean up. Like… obviously this was going to be a match made in heaven. 💀😂
The chemistry between these two?! 🔥🔥 The morally grey characters, forced proximity, he falls first, frenemies to lovers, stalker romance, and that deranged golden retriever x black cat dynamic had me completely hooked.
And the dark humor?! I fucking LOVED it. Seven was badass, unapologetic, and just the right amount of unhinged, while Malek was absolutely ridiculous, possessive, persistent, and somehow completely irresistible. 😂
I DEVOURED this one. If you like your romance dark, chaotic, morally questionable, and fucking hilarious, add this to your TBR.
And the audiobook was FANTASTIC. Aaron Shedlock and Angelina Rocca absolutely brought these characters to life. Their narration made an already addictive story even better. 🎧🔥
June 2, 2026
So, i just found my new favorite author.
This book was outstanding. Never have i laughed and giggled out loud for so long while reading a book. This was hilarious, filled with dark humor and banter that had me cackling.
The female lead and her man were amazing from start to finish, the building of their enemies to lovers romance was dark and beautiful. Malek, has a place in my heart now forever with his Irish accent and his soft chewy heart.
This book just kept getting better and better, the ending had me full on sobbing and i loved every
minute of it.
Overall it was amazing and hands down has become a new favorite of mine. Highly recommend to dark romance readers.
Trigger warning:
Mob/gang related activities
Mention of suicide
Arranged marriage
Death/violence/gore
Mention of cannibalism
Ect.
* If you are an honest to god mortician, and are sensitive to extreme gothic stereotypes of what all that might entail....maybe dont read this... Unless ur cool with reading about the female lead getting the best ride of her life....next to a corpse.
I won't judge if you don't
This book was outstanding. Never have i laughed and giggled out loud for so long while reading a book. This was hilarious, filled with dark humor and banter that had me cackling.
The female lead and her man were amazing from start to finish, the building of their enemies to lovers romance was dark and beautiful. Malek, has a place in my heart now forever with his Irish accent and his soft chewy heart.
This book just kept getting better and better, the ending had me full on sobbing and i loved every
minute of it.
Overall it was amazing and hands down has become a new favorite of mine. Highly recommend to dark romance readers.
Trigger warning:
Mob/gang related activities
Mention of suicide
Arranged marriage
Death/violence/gore
Mention of cannibalism
Ect.
* If you are an honest to god mortician, and are sensitive to extreme gothic stereotypes of what all that might entail....maybe dont read this... Unless ur cool with reading about the female lead getting the best ride of her life....next to a corpse.
I won't judge if you don't
September 11, 2026
I honestly don't know if I have the words to express just how much I LOVE this book!! I was hooked from page 3. It is such a fun and demented story to tell. I can definitely say I will never look at lollypops the same again.
Watching Seven and Malek's relationship develop was so much fun. Their progression felt really natural, and his initial obsession with her was so much fun to read. I just love everything about their relationship. The trick with the penny and the diamond nearly made me cry. I adore Bridget, and her bloodlust.
Despite the grim topics revolving around being an executioner for the mob and the cleanup crew for said mob, this book is just charming and even silly at times. The characters feel like people. They have such a complex relationship. It develops naturally and feels real.
I feel bad because this is a shorter review, but I kept forgetting to take notes because of how sucked into this story I was. I cannot recommend it enough and will be forcing all of my dark romance reader friends to check it out!
Watching Seven and Malek's relationship develop was so much fun. Their progression felt really natural, and his initial obsession with her was so much fun to read. I just love everything about their relationship. The trick with the penny and the diamond nearly made me cry. I adore Bridget, and her bloodlust.
Despite the grim topics revolving around being an executioner for the mob and the cleanup crew for said mob, this book is just charming and even silly at times. The characters feel like people. They have such a complex relationship. It develops naturally and feels real.
I feel bad because this is a shorter review, but I kept forgetting to take notes because of how sucked into this story I was. I cannot recommend it enough and will be forcing all of my dark romance reader friends to check it out!
April 30, 2026
6⭐️
This book will forever be engraved in my brain. A mortuary and an executioner cross paths in a beautiful tale of learning to love after loss while finding themselves in a soul as broken as they are.
I laughed often, cried when I least expected, & came away with a story that will stick with me for an eternity. The emotional pull of the storyline and ability to relate deeply to the FMC only added to how amazing this book was.
It is evident that the author poured herself into this story, and it was a refreshing change from the mainstream dark romance books we’ve all come to know and love. I felt this one in the deepest parts of my soul, and that’s all I can ever hope for when I open a book.
If you’re on the fence, HOP OFF NOW! This one is a MUST READ. I do highly recommended the audiobook. Aaron Shedlock and his amazing Irish accent were to die for, and Angelina Rocca slayed as always. 🖤
This book will forever be engraved in my brain. A mortuary and an executioner cross paths in a beautiful tale of learning to love after loss while finding themselves in a soul as broken as they are.
I laughed often, cried when I least expected, & came away with a story that will stick with me for an eternity. The emotional pull of the storyline and ability to relate deeply to the FMC only added to how amazing this book was.
It is evident that the author poured herself into this story, and it was a refreshing change from the mainstream dark romance books we’ve all come to know and love. I felt this one in the deepest parts of my soul, and that’s all I can ever hope for when I open a book.
If you’re on the fence, HOP OFF NOW! This one is a MUST READ. I do highly recommended the audiobook. Aaron Shedlock and his amazing Irish accent were to die for, and Angelina Rocca slayed as always. 🖤
May 29, 2026
One of my favorite booktokers was raving about this one so I had to check it out and I was not disappointed at all! I listened to the audio, and it was dual narration by Angelina Rocca and Aaron Shedlock and I felt like they were perfect for each of the characters! They definitely brought the story to life.
We have Seven Gray, a mortician that is a "cleaner" on the side to make some extra money. She finds herself wrapped up with the Irish mob, insert Malek Byrne. Malek is the Irish mob heir and their executioner. He is ruthless, obsessed and slightly unhinged.
He will kill on command, yet he is totally instantly obsessed with Seven and has such a soft spot for her. Seven is full of sass and pretty unfazed by most things people would have an issue with.
I really just enjoyed the vibes of this whole story. The pacing was on point, the plot was great, and so was the spice. This is my first book by this author, and I will definitely be reading more!
We have Seven Gray, a mortician that is a "cleaner" on the side to make some extra money. She finds herself wrapped up with the Irish mob, insert Malek Byrne. Malek is the Irish mob heir and their executioner. He is ruthless, obsessed and slightly unhinged.
He will kill on command, yet he is totally instantly obsessed with Seven and has such a soft spot for her. Seven is full of sass and pretty unfazed by most things people would have an issue with.
I really just enjoyed the vibes of this whole story. The pacing was on point, the plot was great, and so was the spice. This is my first book by this author, and I will definitely be reading more!
August 14, 2025
Wow! This book was SUCH a fun read. I loved the characters. The story flowed in a such away that you were kept invested the entire time. Seven is such an interesting character you can’t help but love her. Malek is the scary golden retriever that melts like butter with some belly rubs. While this wasn’t a 5 star for me I LOVED and enjoyed every minute of it!! I will continue to recommend this book to all my dark romance girls because it is definitely a must read for anyone who enjoys DR!! I can’t even think of anything to critique! I am a mood reader and I feel that’s what kept it from a 5 star honestly lol. Go preorder this or add it to your TBR it comes out September 1st!!!!!!!!
August 11, 2025
This book is an absolute masterpiece. It hooked me from the very first chapter. The FMC is a misunderstood, outcast mortician that only her family understands, whose side gig is being a “cleaning lady” for murders. The MMC is an Irish mob executioner set to inherit the family throne. They meet on one of her “jobs” and she immediately hates him. He thinks he is looking into the eyes of the past. The MMC starts stalking the FMC and inserts himself into life and falls fast and hard. They strike a bargain. He promises to leave her alone if she “cleans for him with a rival family’s disposal. But by that time, will she really want him to actually do it? This book is full of snarky banter, spice, dark romance, mob intrigue and games. He falls first and hard, she finally finds someone that understands her darkness. But in the end, will she keep him? I highly recommend this for anyone who loves romance on the dark side. I was a “kicking my feet, laughing out loud, dark, spicy good time.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 13, 2026
omg
Oh my God I love this book! I absolutely love Seven. I absolutely love Malik. The story had twist and turns. Tons of gore. Tons of banter. The spice was amazing. I am obsessed with this book.
Oh my God I love this book! I absolutely love Seven. I absolutely love Malik. The story had twist and turns. Tons of gore. Tons of banter. The spice was amazing. I am obsessed with this book.
May 17, 2026
This was a good read for sure that definitely deserves a follow by reading book 2
May 22, 2026
Wow
She makes something palatable, even funny that I never thought I would laugh at: violent death. This author gave me a new way to look at dying. Which is good as I approach that deadline myself, as I'm coming up on the average age of dying for women in the USA.
She makes something palatable, even funny that I never thought I would laugh at: violent death. This author gave me a new way to look at dying. Which is good as I approach that deadline myself, as I'm coming up on the average age of dying for women in the USA.
September 22, 2025
4🌟
2.5🌶
A rollercoaster ride🥳
2.5🌶
A rollercoaster ride🥳
October 29, 2025
When I saw this book pop up on booktok and read the blurb, I knew it was for me.
Seven Gray. A mortician who “cleans” on the side and finds herself cleaning for the Irish mob? Yes, please. Her sass and nonchalance over dead things made her such a lovable character. The coffin in her living room was a perfect touch And her realization her area is full of serial killers, yet lack of fear over them was honestly so Seven.
Malek Byrne. Irish mob prince and executioner. The mouth on this red haired, green eyed, tatted and pierced man was delicious. The way he kills people on command yet has a softness for her was the perfect combo. The way the author wrote the Irish dialogue in here had me hearing it in Irish and it was absolutely everything.
Morally gray MMC & FMC
He falls first (and hard)
He would burn the world down for her
Stalker Romance
Touch her and die
Forced proximity
Frenemies to lovers
Deliciously dark humor
Seven Gray. A mortician who “cleans” on the side and finds herself cleaning for the Irish mob? Yes, please. Her sass and nonchalance over dead things made her such a lovable character. The coffin in her living room was a perfect touch And her realization her area is full of serial killers, yet lack of fear over them was honestly so Seven.
Malek Byrne. Irish mob prince and executioner. The mouth on this red haired, green eyed, tatted and pierced man was delicious. The way he kills people on command yet has a softness for her was the perfect combo. The way the author wrote the Irish dialogue in here had me hearing it in Irish and it was absolutely everything.
Morally gray MMC & FMC
He falls first (and hard)
He would burn the world down for her
Stalker Romance
Touch her and die
Forced proximity
Frenemies to lovers
Deliciously dark humor
Displaying 1 - 30 of 219 reviews