What do you think?
Rate this book
The Mortuary Misfits #1
Seven Graves
THE MORTICIAN
I’ve always known I was different.
My name is Seven Grey, and I hang out with dead people. Yes, Seven like the number, and yes…literal dead people. I’m the only mortician in a small town tucked away in backwoods Maine, and I’ve known this was my dream job since the day they asked us on our first day of Kindergarten. I know who I am, and I don’t apologize for it. Death is just different for me. Which is why my second job works even better than my first.
They call me ‘The Cleaning Lady’.
People die. It’s just a part of life. How certain ones die is none of my business and I don’t ask questions when I work for bad people for ludicrous price tags, making their dirty deeds disappear like they never happened. They call, I clean, I leave.
…So how did I end up being the center of attention for the heir to the Irish mob with the threat of accessory to murder charges hanging over my head? Well, that’s a story worthy of small town gossip.
Malek Byrne is the most deranged, annoying, ridiculous…beautiful…persistent…pain in my ass. I rue the day that he inserted himself into my life. But he’s just about impossible to resist, not just because he forces a smile that hasn’t been part of my dark wardrobe in years…but because he refuses to leave me the hell alone.
He drops bodies…I clean them. It should be that simple.
It’s not.
He’s got a list as long as my name and I’ve saddled up for a ride I can’t get off of…
…Even if I wanted to…
Morally Grey FMC and MMC
Forced Proximity
Deranged Golden Retriever x Black Cat
He Falls First
Frenemies to Lovers
Touch her and die
Stalker Romance
Ridiculously Dark Humor
I’ve always known I was different.
My name is Seven Grey, and I hang out with dead people. Yes, Seven like the number, and yes…literal dead people. I’m the only mortician in a small town tucked away in backwoods Maine, and I’ve known this was my dream job since the day they asked us on our first day of Kindergarten. I know who I am, and I don’t apologize for it. Death is just different for me. Which is why my second job works even better than my first.
They call me ‘The Cleaning Lady’.
People die. It’s just a part of life. How certain ones die is none of my business and I don’t ask questions when I work for bad people for ludicrous price tags, making their dirty deeds disappear like they never happened. They call, I clean, I leave.
…So how did I end up being the center of attention for the heir to the Irish mob with the threat of accessory to murder charges hanging over my head? Well, that’s a story worthy of small town gossip.
Malek Byrne is the most deranged, annoying, ridiculous…beautiful…persistent…pain in my ass. I rue the day that he inserted himself into my life. But he’s just about impossible to resist, not just because he forces a smile that hasn’t been part of my dark wardrobe in years…but because he refuses to leave me the hell alone.
He drops bodies…I clean them. It should be that simple.
It’s not.
He’s got a list as long as my name and I’ve saddled up for a ride I can’t get off of…
…Even if I wanted to…
Morally Grey FMC and MMC
Forced Proximity
Deranged Golden Retriever x Black Cat
He Falls First
Frenemies to Lovers
Touch her and die
Stalker Romance
Ridiculously Dark Humor
260 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 1, 2025
394 people are currently reading
1649 people want to read
About the author
H.B. Elliott
7 books105 followersH.B. Elliott is an over-caffeinated book nerd from North Carolina, where she lives with her husband, her two amazing children, a dog that thinks she's a chew toy, and a cat that's ten times more temperamental.
She started writing in her early teens, and was inspired by dark moody legends like Edgar Allan Poe. Art and photography were a staple in her creative development and remains that way into her adulthood. Her main genre and focus is Romance, though she's acquired a good many hats within that spectrum.
Fantasy is a gateway.
Historical fiction is a drug.
Dark romance is non-negotiable.
Love is more binding than the spine of any book.
Elliott is a firm believer in the Savior, and credits all her success to His name.
After all...He's the one who told her she can do all things.
He also still reprimands her on a regular basis of all the smut she continues to read.
She started writing in her early teens, and was inspired by dark moody legends like Edgar Allan Poe. Art and photography were a staple in her creative development and remains that way into her adulthood. Her main genre and focus is Romance, though she's acquired a good many hats within that spectrum.
Fantasy is a gateway.
Historical fiction is a drug.
Dark romance is non-negotiable.
Love is more binding than the spine of any book.
Elliott is a firm believer in the Savior, and credits all her success to His name.
After all...He's the one who told her she can do all things.
He also still reprimands her on a regular basis of all the smut she continues to read.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 120 reviews
September 25, 2025
Rating: •5⭐️•
Spice: 3🌶️
Recommend?: YESSS ABSOLUTLEY
-OVERALL THOUGHTS-
this was incredible, holy crap. The humor, the darkness, the plot. ALL AMAZINGGGG!! My mom got the arc for this book, and told me I would like it, and I owe everything to her and this author. I had no complaints about this book, and think anyone who likes dark romance should read this!🙌🏼
-SEVEN GREY-
The woman that you are Seven… her being a metalhead lit my little heart on the best fire ever, cuz me too bestie. She is a total baddie who don’t care about nothin! FINNALY an amazing FMC with an actual personality in a romance book, my goodness I’ve been searching for you for a longggg time. 💋
-MALEK BYRNE-
Oh my…🤭 this man is SOMETHING ELSEEEE. He had me rolling on the floor laughing with his inner monologue, and jokes. ”Blushing face” (iykyk). He’s in my top 10 book men, with his mouth, tattoos, and personality. Wait, did I mention his mouth?? He is a man that will talk you through it! Had me swooning, kicking my feet, and turning red with some of the things he said to Seven. 😮💨 (and will kill for his woman)
-CLOSING WORDS-
Thank you H.B Elliott for writing this dark and twisted love story! This was an amazing time, and a book I will not forget. Please, I’m begging you, to write another book🖤🙏🏼
Can’t wait to buy the physical copy!
Makennah xx
Spice: 3🌶️
Recommend?: YESSS ABSOLUTLEY
-OVERALL THOUGHTS-
this was incredible, holy crap. The humor, the darkness, the plot. ALL AMAZINGGGG!! My mom got the arc for this book, and told me I would like it, and I owe everything to her and this author. I had no complaints about this book, and think anyone who likes dark romance should read this!🙌🏼
-SEVEN GREY-
The woman that you are Seven… her being a metalhead lit my little heart on the best fire ever, cuz me too bestie. She is a total baddie who don’t care about nothin! FINNALY an amazing FMC with an actual personality in a romance book, my goodness I’ve been searching for you for a longggg time. 💋
-MALEK BYRNE-
Oh my…🤭 this man is SOMETHING ELSEEEE. He had me rolling on the floor laughing with his inner monologue, and jokes. ”Blushing face” (iykyk). He’s in my top 10 book men, with his mouth, tattoos, and personality. Wait, did I mention his mouth?? He is a man that will talk you through it! Had me swooning, kicking my feet, and turning red with some of the things he said to Seven. 😮💨 (and will kill for his woman)
-CLOSING WORDS-
Thank you H.B Elliott for writing this dark and twisted love story! This was an amazing time, and a book I will not forget. Please, I’m begging you, to write another book🖤🙏🏼
Can’t wait to buy the physical copy!
Makennah xx
August 16, 2025
My absolute top read of the year! There is not a thing I could say to do this book the justice it deserves! This dark romantic comedy deserves every single star!!
If you loved the funny MMC vibes like Josh from Lights Out, but add an Irish accent and make him even funnier, and the funny mortician vibes in Living Dead Girl (minus the necrophilia ya know) this book is for you!
This book gave me everything I didn’t know I needed! Malek is thee book boyfriend of book boyfriends! Seven was absolutely hilarious, and an FMC I’d want to be BFFs with. The dark mafia vibes, filled with witty banter, the most relatable humor, and side characters that just complete the story!
Seven is a mortician, and a little bit of an outcast that is unlucky in the love department. She also has a little dark web side gig, that gets her wrapped up with the Irish mob.
Malek is the heir to the Irish mob, although he may not want the gig, he’s happy to fulfill his executioner duties in hopes of the revenge he desperately wants. When he meets Seven after a “cleaning” job, a blast from his past knocks him off his feet. Although she isn’t the girl he’s missing, she’s so much more.
Yes, Malek may be part of the Irish mob but he’s also the funniest character you’ll ever meet, and hilariously gullible! I cannot put into words how much I loved him! His Irish curses are just the icing on the cake!
Just do yourself a favor and read this! You will laugh, you’ll swoon, you’ll be pissed off, you’ll feel every emotion and pray that someone like Malek comes into your life! This is pure perfection!!
Thank you so much to every single book bestie that recommended this book to me, and to HB Elliott for allowing me to read this pre-release in exchange for my honest review.
If you loved the funny MMC vibes like Josh from Lights Out, but add an Irish accent and make him even funnier, and the funny mortician vibes in Living Dead Girl (minus the necrophilia ya know) this book is for you!
This book gave me everything I didn’t know I needed! Malek is thee book boyfriend of book boyfriends! Seven was absolutely hilarious, and an FMC I’d want to be BFFs with. The dark mafia vibes, filled with witty banter, the most relatable humor, and side characters that just complete the story!
Seven is a mortician, and a little bit of an outcast that is unlucky in the love department. She also has a little dark web side gig, that gets her wrapped up with the Irish mob.
Malek is the heir to the Irish mob, although he may not want the gig, he’s happy to fulfill his executioner duties in hopes of the revenge he desperately wants. When he meets Seven after a “cleaning” job, a blast from his past knocks him off his feet. Although she isn’t the girl he’s missing, she’s so much more.
Yes, Malek may be part of the Irish mob but he’s also the funniest character you’ll ever meet, and hilariously gullible! I cannot put into words how much I loved him! His Irish curses are just the icing on the cake!
Just do yourself a favor and read this! You will laugh, you’ll swoon, you’ll be pissed off, you’ll feel every emotion and pray that someone like Malek comes into your life! This is pure perfection!!
Thank you so much to every single book bestie that recommended this book to me, and to HB Elliott for allowing me to read this pre-release in exchange for my honest review.
November 9, 2025
5 / 5 ⭐️
5 / 5 🌶️
Method: ARC read (my first one ever!!)
🔪🩸☠️⚰️🪦🍀🇮🇪
I LOVED this book!
Seven Grey is our FMC working as a mortician in her family run Funeral home. But on the side, she’s a “Cleaning Lady” for bad people who need bodies to be removed and the room ‘cleaned’ 🧹🧽🧼
Enter stage right - Malek FU€KING Byrne! (Your next book boyfriend!! 😉) He is our Irish mafia “executioner”, tattooed, pierced, ginger who can’t hold a tune to save his life MMC.
After a pretty tense cleaning situation where they meet, Mal can’t stop thinking about his “little Viper” and asks her (well.. really he threatens her with blackmail) to help him with a few upcoming jobs.
I’m not delving into the story anymore cos I don’t wanna spoilt it, but this would have to be one of my favourite ever dark Rom-Com reads.
It’s dark, it’s sexy, it’s funny AF!! And this will definitely be a re-read for me again and again 🥰
Enjoy!!!!!
“How the fuck did I get this fortunate? Luck of the Irish, I suppose…” - Malek Byrne.
5 / 5 🌶️
Method: ARC read (my first one ever!!)
🔪🩸☠️⚰️🪦🍀🇮🇪
I LOVED this book!
Seven Grey is our FMC working as a mortician in her family run Funeral home. But on the side, she’s a “Cleaning Lady” for bad people who need bodies to be removed and the room ‘cleaned’ 🧹🧽🧼
Enter stage right - Malek FU€KING Byrne! (Your next book boyfriend!! 😉) He is our Irish mafia “executioner”, tattooed, pierced, ginger who can’t hold a tune to save his life MMC.
After a pretty tense cleaning situation where they meet, Mal can’t stop thinking about his “little Viper” and asks her (well.. really he threatens her with blackmail) to help him with a few upcoming jobs.
I’m not delving into the story anymore cos I don’t wanna spoilt it, but this would have to be one of my favourite ever dark Rom-Com reads.
It’s dark, it’s sexy, it’s funny AF!! And this will definitely be a re-read for me again and again 🥰
Enjoy!!!!!
“How the fuck did I get this fortunate? Luck of the Irish, I suppose…” - Malek Byrne.
September 10, 2025
Seven Graves is pure chaos in book form
This book is a mess in the best way. It’s dark, cruel, morbid and bloody, but also hilarious, kinky, and weirdly adorable.
Let’s start with Seven, our dark little mortician queen. Tattoos, makeup, embalming fluid for perfume, and a side hustle of cleaning murder scenes. Black cat energy for days. She’s sassy, sarcastic, and a little too comfortable cracking corpse jokes at inappropriate times. She’s a loner and a fierce aunt with whom no one dares to mess with.
And then we have Malek, who absolutely wiggled his fine ass into my world. He is lethal, cocky as hell, dangerously charming with an ego bigger than the Irish coastline, but also has a stomach full of sugar and a heart of gold buried under layers of trauma and sharp steel. He was raised on bloodshed since he was sixteen, armed with dimples and a knife fetish. Basically, a golden retriever dipped in gasoline and set on fire. Completely irresistible.
He also has a seven year old vendetta against a rival family. And he is ready to settle the score. It's also just happened that our little mortician was tasked to clean after him. And when she caught his eyes? The way she was resembling someone he loved and lost? It was game on. It's such a sweet meet-cute, right? Totally normal. The chemistry between these two is like mixing bleach and ammonia—explosive, toxic, and you probably shouldn’t breathe too deeply, but goddamn if it isn’t addictive.
Chaos. Pure, bloody chaos.
It’s also bloody entertaining. One chapter I was cackling at Seven’s sass or Malek’s sweet tooth, the next I was blushing and laughing over his not-so-subtle wooing… And then BAM—someone’s throat gets slit. It’s hilarious, kinky, violent, and somehow still manages to be swoony. Don’t ask me how. It just works.
And don’t even get me started on the side characters. Her brother. His sister. The sibling banter alone deserves its own damn novella. Toss in a Penguin-from-Batman wannabe waddling through and it’s straight-up chaos carnival energy.
I waited months for this release, and it delivered every drop of blood, banter, and batshit energy I wanted. When the audiobook drops? I’m clearing my schedule. Headphones in, world out.
This book is a mess in the best way. It’s dark, cruel, morbid and bloody, but also hilarious, kinky, and weirdly adorable.
Let’s start with Seven, our dark little mortician queen. Tattoos, makeup, embalming fluid for perfume, and a side hustle of cleaning murder scenes. Black cat energy for days. She’s sassy, sarcastic, and a little too comfortable cracking corpse jokes at inappropriate times. She’s a loner and a fierce aunt with whom no one dares to mess with.
And then we have Malek, who absolutely wiggled his fine ass into my world. He is lethal, cocky as hell, dangerously charming with an ego bigger than the Irish coastline, but also has a stomach full of sugar and a heart of gold buried under layers of trauma and sharp steel. He was raised on bloodshed since he was sixteen, armed with dimples and a knife fetish. Basically, a golden retriever dipped in gasoline and set on fire. Completely irresistible.
He also has a seven year old vendetta against a rival family. And he is ready to settle the score. It's also just happened that our little mortician was tasked to clean after him. And when she caught his eyes? The way she was resembling someone he loved and lost? It was game on. It's such a sweet meet-cute, right? Totally normal. The chemistry between these two is like mixing bleach and ammonia—explosive, toxic, and you probably shouldn’t breathe too deeply, but goddamn if it isn’t addictive.
Chaos. Pure, bloody chaos.
It’s also bloody entertaining. One chapter I was cackling at Seven’s sass or Malek’s sweet tooth, the next I was blushing and laughing over his not-so-subtle wooing… And then BAM—someone’s throat gets slit. It’s hilarious, kinky, violent, and somehow still manages to be swoony. Don’t ask me how. It just works.
And don’t even get me started on the side characters. Her brother. His sister. The sibling banter alone deserves its own damn novella. Toss in a Penguin-from-Batman wannabe waddling through and it’s straight-up chaos carnival energy.
I waited months for this release, and it delivered every drop of blood, banter, and batshit energy I wanted. When the audiobook drops? I’m clearing my schedule. Headphones in, world out.
November 11, 2025
This is one of my best 2025 read.
Normally I would have stopped as soon as the ex-dead lover is mentioned… especially how obsessed he was with his dead lover 😤
But, this was a new author for me and her writing style was so good I kept on reading.
Honestly, be prepared to have this trope rubbed in your face.
Maybe I should have stopped so my heart wouldn’t have be broken for Seven 😢
This was not a traditional mafia
I loved both MMC, Malek cracked me with his inner thoughts and I absolutely related to Seven and being a misfit.
The spice was from outer space 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
Normally I would have stopped as soon as the ex-dead lover is mentioned… especially how obsessed he was with his dead lover 😤
But, this was a new author for me and her writing style was so good I kept on reading.
Honestly, be prepared to have this trope rubbed in your face.
Maybe I should have stopped so my heart wouldn’t have be broken for Seven 😢
This was not a traditional mafia
I loved both MMC, Malek cracked me with his inner thoughts and I absolutely related to Seven and being a misfit.
The spice was from outer space 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
August 14, 2025
Wow! This book was SUCH a fun read. I loved the characters. The story flowed in a such away that you were kept invested the entire time. Seven is such an interesting character you can’t help but love her. Malek is the scary golden retriever that melts like butter with some belly rubs. While this wasn’t a 5 star for me I LOVED and enjoyed every minute of it!! I will continue to recommend this book to all my dark romance girls because it is definitely a must read for anyone who enjoys DR!! I can’t even think of anything to critique! I am a mood reader and I feel that’s what kept it from a 5 star honestly lol. Go preorder this or add it to your TBR it comes out September 1st!!!!!!!!
August 11, 2025
This book is an absolute masterpiece. It hooked me from the very first chapter. The FMC is a misunderstood, outcast mortician that only her family understands, whose side gig is being a “cleaning lady” for murders. The MMC is an Irish mob executioner set to inherit the family throne. They meet on one of her “jobs” and she immediately hates him. He thinks he is looking into the eyes of the past. The MMC starts stalking the FMC and inserts himself into life and falls fast and hard. They strike a bargain. He promises to leave her alone if she “cleans for him with a rival family’s disposal. But by that time, will she really want him to actually do it? This book is full of snarky banter, spice, dark romance, mob intrigue and games. He falls first and hard, she finally finds someone that understands her darkness. But in the end, will she keep him? I highly recommend this for anyone who loves romance on the dark side. I was a “kicking my feet, laughing out loud, dark, spicy good time.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 9, 2025
Infinity stars!!! This has easily become my favorite dark romance read! I highlighted so many moments from laughing hard and swooning that my kindle looked like a coloring book! How will I pick my favorite quotes when 1/2 the book is highlighted! 232 highlights to be exact. I cannot praise this book enough, but lemme try.
For me it was difficult reading romcom and dark romance together. I typically like my books dark, but HB Elliot has somehow managed to blend them together with perfection! This was way better than any of the main stream dark romcoms I’ve read- blows them out of the water. I laughed so hard at this book but it still had the dark flare I love so much!
🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
Everybody dark romance reader wants to hear about the spice right? It was perfection. Not too much, not too little. Well balanced with character development and plot. And phew- it was written sexy AF. The amount of times I have been lost in spice scenes. Who is touching who where and how- not an issue in this book. HB Elliot wrote it so clear, I could see every single move and I was flushed and melting in my seat!
The characters:
Malek Byrnes is my new #1 book boyfriend! No question about it. The stalker you wanna be stalked by..A tattooed, pierced, smoking hot, frickin HILARIOUS, lovable fool who SAYS and DOES ALL the RIGHT THINGS. This man can do no wrong in my eyes. How do you tell your husband things are over because a fictional man has ruined all others for you?. 😆 jkjk
Seven our FMC is funny, witty and emotionally relatable- she didn’t get on my nerves once- which is huge for an FMC in my book. Okay well there was the one time, closer to the end where I got upset cause she hurt my boy and was being dumb about it BUT it was quickly corrected and sorta understandable. I loved her!
Bridget, Malek’s sister becomes quite lovable and funny as well as you get to know her. Her bond with her brother is adorable.
Seven’s whole family is funny with just an adorable family dynamic.
Family is huge in this book and seeing all of their bonds with each other was great. Weird for a dark romance normally but my gosh it worked.
Simon, a minor side character- haha what to say other than he’s a little bit more the man than you know and will have you chuckling too.
I was blessed to beta read this gem and finding corrective feedback for the author was a chore because it was already the most amazing DR I’ve read. She has crushed this!!
For me it was difficult reading romcom and dark romance together. I typically like my books dark, but HB Elliot has somehow managed to blend them together with perfection! This was way better than any of the main stream dark romcoms I’ve read- blows them out of the water. I laughed so hard at this book but it still had the dark flare I love so much!
🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
Everybody dark romance reader wants to hear about the spice right? It was perfection. Not too much, not too little. Well balanced with character development and plot. And phew- it was written sexy AF. The amount of times I have been lost in spice scenes. Who is touching who where and how- not an issue in this book. HB Elliot wrote it so clear, I could see every single move and I was flushed and melting in my seat!
The characters:
Malek Byrnes is my new #1 book boyfriend! No question about it. The stalker you wanna be stalked by..A tattooed, pierced, smoking hot, frickin HILARIOUS, lovable fool who SAYS and DOES ALL the RIGHT THINGS. This man can do no wrong in my eyes. How do you tell your husband things are over because a fictional man has ruined all others for you?. 😆 jkjk
Seven our FMC is funny, witty and emotionally relatable- she didn’t get on my nerves once- which is huge for an FMC in my book. Okay well there was the one time, closer to the end where I got upset cause she hurt my boy and was being dumb about it BUT it was quickly corrected and sorta understandable. I loved her!
Bridget, Malek’s sister becomes quite lovable and funny as well as you get to know her. Her bond with her brother is adorable.
Seven’s whole family is funny with just an adorable family dynamic.
Family is huge in this book and seeing all of their bonds with each other was great. Weird for a dark romance normally but my gosh it worked.
Simon, a minor side character- haha what to say other than he’s a little bit more the man than you know and will have you chuckling too.
I was blessed to beta read this gem and finding corrective feedback for the author was a chore because it was already the most amazing DR I’ve read. She has crushed this!!
September 22, 2025
4🌟
2.5🌶
A rollercoaster ride🥳
2.5🌶
A rollercoaster ride🥳
October 29, 2025
When I saw this book pop up on booktok and read the blurb, I knew it was for me.
Seven Gray. A mortician who “cleans” on the side and finds herself cleaning for the Irish mob? Yes, please. Her sass and nonchalance over dead things made her such a lovable character. The coffin in her living room was a perfect touch And her realization her area is full of serial killers, yet lack of fear over them was honestly so Seven.
Malek Byrne. Irish mob prince and executioner. The mouth on this red haired, green eyed, tatted and pierced man was delicious. The way he kills people on command yet has a softness for her was the perfect combo. The way the author wrote the Irish dialogue in here had me hearing it in Irish and it was absolutely everything.
Morally gray MMC & FMC
He falls first (and hard)
He would burn the world down for her
Stalker Romance
Touch her and die
Forced proximity
Frenemies to lovers
Deliciously dark humor
Seven Gray. A mortician who “cleans” on the side and finds herself cleaning for the Irish mob? Yes, please. Her sass and nonchalance over dead things made her such a lovable character. The coffin in her living room was a perfect touch And her realization her area is full of serial killers, yet lack of fear over them was honestly so Seven.
Malek Byrne. Irish mob prince and executioner. The mouth on this red haired, green eyed, tatted and pierced man was delicious. The way he kills people on command yet has a softness for her was the perfect combo. The way the author wrote the Irish dialogue in here had me hearing it in Irish and it was absolutely everything.
Morally gray MMC & FMC
He falls first (and hard)
He would burn the world down for her
Stalker Romance
Touch her and die
Forced proximity
Frenemies to lovers
Deliciously dark humor
December 14, 2025
Enjoyment:⭐⭐⭐
Writing: ⭐⭐.5
Characters: ⭐⭐⭐
Plot: ⭐⭐⭐.5
Romance: ⭐⭐⭐
This book was disappointing. The idea sounded so good: a mortician with an illegal side business and a mafia heir. I really liked the beginning of the book, but then the MMC is intrigued by the FMC just because she looks exactly like his first love who died, and you are reminded of that fact every time someone who knew that woman sees the FMC for the first time. I didn't like that at all.
The plot was kind of boring. The MMC starts stalking her and tries to convince her to give him a chance, and then makes a deal with her to leave her alone if she helps him. So the whole plot is him not leaving her alone until it's time for her to help him.
I also hated that she didn't realize that her family was in danger because of him, until SPOILER, she gets kidnapped, and she is supposed to be very smart.
Writing: ⭐⭐.5
Characters: ⭐⭐⭐
Plot: ⭐⭐⭐.5
Romance: ⭐⭐⭐
This book was disappointing. The idea sounded so good: a mortician with an illegal side business and a mafia heir. I really liked the beginning of the book, but then the MMC is intrigued by the FMC just because she looks exactly like his first love who died, and you are reminded of that fact every time someone who knew that woman sees the FMC for the first time. I didn't like that at all.
The plot was kind of boring. The MMC starts stalking her and tries to convince her to give him a chance, and then makes a deal with her to leave her alone if she helps him. So the whole plot is him not leaving her alone until it's time for her to help him.
I also hated that she didn't realize that her family was in danger because of him, until SPOILER, she gets kidnapped, and she is supposed to be very smart.
September 14, 2025
Did I read the same thing that everyone else did?
The mailman character is so incredibly childish
The father figure that is the mob boss literally does nothing but wine all the time
They make it seem like the Sister is a treasured member of the household, but then her dad sells her off
The brother is also in love with her. I’m genuinely confused as to what the relationship Finn has with them.
The plot is supposed to be a black cat golden retriever couple and it’s really not
The female main character is supposed to be dark in Gothic and I was understanding her concept, but not really why she has a thing at all for the person that blackmailed her immediately
The main main character from the get-go is all about his ex-girlfriend, but then drops her the second. He sees the other girl that happens to look like her.
The main character also talks about her belief in God, but then later says she doesn’t think anyone has souls
It’s just kind of a mess and I wasn’t attached to anyone it kind of felt like they wanted to make a butcher of blackbird style of book and just really didn’t hit the mark
The mailman character is so incredibly childish
The father figure that is the mob boss literally does nothing but wine all the time
They make it seem like the Sister is a treasured member of the household, but then her dad sells her off
The brother is also in love with her. I’m genuinely confused as to what the relationship Finn has with them.
The plot is supposed to be a black cat golden retriever couple and it’s really not
The female main character is supposed to be dark in Gothic and I was understanding her concept, but not really why she has a thing at all for the person that blackmailed her immediately
The main main character from the get-go is all about his ex-girlfriend, but then drops her the second. He sees the other girl that happens to look like her.
The main character also talks about her belief in God, but then later says she doesn’t think anyone has souls
It’s just kind of a mess and I wasn’t attached to anyone it kind of felt like they wanted to make a butcher of blackbird style of book and just really didn’t hit the mark
September 11, 2025
LOVED this book, it’s the first book I have read by this Author but won’t be the last. It was a 4.5 for me! I loved the banter between the main characters.
September 18, 2025
This is without a doubt the most fun I've had with a book in a while. It's dark (seriously. It's an executioner for the mob and a mortician/cleaner), but it is also absolutely hilarious. Very few books make my reread list, but this one definitely will. Easily one of the best reads of 2025. Seven is in the family funeral home business, and she takes on the Mortician role. I loved Seven. She was smart, funny, beautifully sensitive and respectful about her clients, and ready to throw down for her family, especially her nieces. And Malek...oh, Malek. He was vicious, oh so protective of the women in his life, past and present, but also such a golden retriever in the most twisted way. The banter in this book is top tier. After meeting when Seven is hired to clean Malek's destruction (can I just say, this is how I want my dark heros to serve vengeance every time), Malek is instantly fascinated by Seven. What follows is Malek roping in Seven to protect his sister (maybe with a bit of blackmail and a hilariously complete lack of boundaries) while trying to win Seven over. For all the fun and darkness, the character development was beautiful to watch. There was a lot of healing and trying to become better people for the other people in their lives for Seven, Malek, and even his sister Brigitte while learning to let go and forgive themselves for things in the past. This book really does have it all. While I highly, highly recommend reading this book, please check your triggers. Violence and the aftermath is on page and very detailed, and the spice is most certainly not vanilla.
November 30, 2025
Hot damn… this book grabbed me by the throat in chapter one and never let go. Seven Graves gives me everything I crave in a dark romance—violence, obsession, twisted devotion, and a heroine who refuses to bow to anyone. Seven isn’t just a mortician… she’s a walking blade disguised as a woman, doing cleanup jobs on the dark web and leaving men twice her size trembling. Hands around throats within chapters? Yeah, she’s that level of badass.
When she’s called to clean up a job and ends up locking eyes with the heir of a mafia empire—Malek—everything tilts. The air changes. The tension becomes lethal. And somehow, this cold-blooded heir who has darkness flooding his veins gives her chance after chance to walk away. It’s the kind of obsessive, possessive love that’s terrifying in all the right ways… because he never cages her. He chooses her. And she chooses him back with teeth bared.
What makes their connection so intoxicating is the balance:
Malek’s softness is hidden behind oceans of violence, and Seven’s brutality is packaged inside a fearless, unbreakable woman who refuses to be tamed. Together? They combust. They ruin. They heal. They burn the world and bury the bodies later.
This book is dark, sexy, gritty, and absolutely unforgettable. Seven is a queen. Malek is a monster with a worship kink. And the story? Chef’s kiss—bloody perfection.
I cannot wait to dig deeper into this series and see what other graves get opened next.
When she’s called to clean up a job and ends up locking eyes with the heir of a mafia empire—Malek—everything tilts. The air changes. The tension becomes lethal. And somehow, this cold-blooded heir who has darkness flooding his veins gives her chance after chance to walk away. It’s the kind of obsessive, possessive love that’s terrifying in all the right ways… because he never cages her. He chooses her. And she chooses him back with teeth bared.
What makes their connection so intoxicating is the balance:
Malek’s softness is hidden behind oceans of violence, and Seven’s brutality is packaged inside a fearless, unbreakable woman who refuses to be tamed. Together? They combust. They ruin. They heal. They burn the world and bury the bodies later.
This book is dark, sexy, gritty, and absolutely unforgettable. Seven is a queen. Malek is a monster with a worship kink. And the story? Chef’s kiss—bloody perfection.
I cannot wait to dig deeper into this series and see what other graves get opened next.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 14, 2025
Amazing Read!
This book completely stole my heart (and a few hours of sleep). Seven, the mortician with her quiet strength and haunting depth, and Malek, the Irish mob heir with danger stitched into his veins, are the kind of characters who linger long after you’ve turned the last page. Their story is a delicious balance of shadow and light—equal parts tender and brutal, aching and intoxicating.
The chemistry between them is undeniable, but what truly impressed me was how layered and intentional every moment felt. The dark smut was perfectly measured—not overdone, not too tame, but just right to keep me blushing, breathless, and flipping pages like my life depended on it.
It’s rare to find a romance that can be so raw and gritty yet still feel so loving, but this book nailed it. I laughed, I gasped, I swooned, and by the end, I didn’t want to say goodbye.
If you love your romance with sharp edges, aching vulnerability, and heat that burns straight through the shadows—this is the one.
This book completely stole my heart (and a few hours of sleep). Seven, the mortician with her quiet strength and haunting depth, and Malek, the Irish mob heir with danger stitched into his veins, are the kind of characters who linger long after you’ve turned the last page. Their story is a delicious balance of shadow and light—equal parts tender and brutal, aching and intoxicating.
The chemistry between them is undeniable, but what truly impressed me was how layered and intentional every moment felt. The dark smut was perfectly measured—not overdone, not too tame, but just right to keep me blushing, breathless, and flipping pages like my life depended on it.
It’s rare to find a romance that can be so raw and gritty yet still feel so loving, but this book nailed it. I laughed, I gasped, I swooned, and by the end, I didn’t want to say goodbye.
If you love your romance with sharp edges, aching vulnerability, and heat that burns straight through the shadows—this is the one.
September 22, 2025
FÖRLÅÅÅÅÅÅT MIG men vad, i, hela, fridens, namn, var det där? VA IIIIII!!!!! helvete!!!!! va fkn bra den här boken var. omfg. jag var HELT consumed, I FELT SO FUCKING MUCH. I love them omg I love them. sheeeesh mannen I am at a loss for fucking words there was crack cocaine in this, pure uncut fucking heroine and i’m so sad it’s over.
alltså Malek? MALEK. I need him, crave him, I don’t think i’ll ever get over him 😭😭😭🤫🤫💅🏼💅🏼💅🏼🔪🔪🔪❤️🔥❤️🔥 “Tell me who’s makin’ you beg, lass. Tell me the name of the son of a bitch that’s about to fuck the life out of you until your pussy’s leakin’ with his unborn.” when I tell you IT TINGLED, there was a motherfucking maelstrom of butterflies in… MY… oh god this man. the MOUTHHHHHH on this man. the obsession 🫦🧎🏼♀️🧎🏼♀️🧎🏼♀️🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 yes thank you very much. I ate this up and left no fucking crumbs UGHHHH bury me with this book 😭
alltså Malek? MALEK. I need him, crave him, I don’t think i’ll ever get over him 😭😭😭🤫🤫💅🏼💅🏼💅🏼🔪🔪🔪❤️🔥❤️🔥 “Tell me who’s makin’ you beg, lass. Tell me the name of the son of a bitch that’s about to fuck the life out of you until your pussy’s leakin’ with his unborn.” when I tell you IT TINGLED, there was a motherfucking maelstrom of butterflies in… MY… oh god this man. the MOUTHHHHHH on this man. the obsession 🫦🧎🏼♀️🧎🏼♀️🧎🏼♀️🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 yes thank you very much. I ate this up and left no fucking crumbs UGHHHH bury me with this book 😭
January 22, 2026
"There aren’t words to describe the ways I’ll
enjoy disposing of his leprechaun ass. He
wants to play games? Let ‘em begin."
✨ Dark Romance
✨ Irish Mobster/Executioner
✨ Mortician/Cleaner (for the mob)
✨ Dark Rom Com
✨ Spice
✨ Touch her and die
✨ Stalking
✨ He Falls First
This book follows Seven and Malek. Seven is a Mortician by day, and a cleaner for mobsters by night. Malek is the executioner and heir to the Irish mob. And strangely, these two make the perfect pair.
This book had me kicking my feet and giggling, and crying. It's such a cute dark rom com! has all the things you love, light stalking, psychotic tendencies, denial etc. I loved this book so much!
Definitely check triggers before you read, but I wouldn't say it's overly dark. Darker than Lights Out, but not as dark as say, Haunting Adeline. It's cute, it's funny and it's the perfect length for this kind of book.
enjoy disposing of his leprechaun ass. He
wants to play games? Let ‘em begin."
✨ Dark Romance
✨ Irish Mobster/Executioner
✨ Mortician/Cleaner (for the mob)
✨ Dark Rom Com
✨ Spice
✨ Touch her and die
✨ Stalking
✨ He Falls First
This book follows Seven and Malek. Seven is a Mortician by day, and a cleaner for mobsters by night. Malek is the executioner and heir to the Irish mob. And strangely, these two make the perfect pair.
This book had me kicking my feet and giggling, and crying. It's such a cute dark rom com! has all the things you love, light stalking, psychotic tendencies, denial etc. I loved this book so much!
Definitely check triggers before you read, but I wouldn't say it's overly dark. Darker than Lights Out, but not as dark as say, Haunting Adeline. It's cute, it's funny and it's the perfect length for this kind of book.
September 17, 2025
5 giant black stars!!
Absolutely adored this book. What do you get when you mix a little heartbreak, a little gore and violence, a lot of quirky weirdness (in all the best ways), plenty of sass and banter and heart? You get this book. Everything about it was wonderful. The plot, the pacing, the characters, the spice. It was just lovely and I didn’t want it to end. It was my first read from this author and I’d love it if there was some expansion of this world. The real actual world has been a bit shite lately and this was such a great reprieve. Cannot recommend enough!!
Absolutely adored this book. What do you get when you mix a little heartbreak, a little gore and violence, a lot of quirky weirdness (in all the best ways), plenty of sass and banter and heart? You get this book. Everything about it was wonderful. The plot, the pacing, the characters, the spice. It was just lovely and I didn’t want it to end. It was my first read from this author and I’d love it if there was some expansion of this world. The real actual world has been a bit shite lately and this was such a great reprieve. Cannot recommend enough!!
September 23, 2025
I went into this book expecting Lights out or Butcher and blackbird. My expectations were wrong.
While the book has a somewhat humorous undertone it’s a lot deeper than the ones I previously mentioned. And I am obsessed with Malek one of my favorite unhinged MMCs I’ve ever read. When I said I want unhinged (in fictional men only thank god) this is what I mean.
A super good time, took me completely by surprise!
While the book has a somewhat humorous undertone it’s a lot deeper than the ones I previously mentioned. And I am obsessed with Malek one of my favorite unhinged MMCs I’ve ever read. When I said I want unhinged (in fictional men only thank god) this is what I mean.
A super good time, took me completely by surprise!
August 14, 2025
This is the most perfect book I've ever read. Literally. Everything from the cover, to the last sentence is phenomenal. The way our FMC's love language is light bullying, while also being fiercely loyal and loving out loud (including herself), is just a fantastic combo. And our MMC, being an unaliver, while being a happy puppy with the FMC?!?! **Chef's Kiss** This will be my "compare" book, when it comes to book recs. While I know reading is subjective, if someone rates this anything other than five stars, I know I can never trust their recs. 🤣😂
October 8, 2025
This book is definitely one of my top reads this year! 🌟
It’s always such a joy to stumble upon a story that surprises you with something completely fresh and unexpected. Seven’s job as a mortician (and her little side business 😏) was such a unique and refreshing twist. Malek and Seven are characters you can���t help but fall in love with. 💕
Highly recommend this one — you won’t regret it! 📖✨
It’s always such a joy to stumble upon a story that surprises you with something completely fresh and unexpected. Seven’s job as a mortician (and her little side business 😏) was such a unique and refreshing twist. Malek and Seven are characters you can���t help but fall in love with. 💕
Highly recommend this one — you won’t regret it! 📖✨
December 29, 2025
This book will have you turning the pages and saying WTF so many times that your head will spin!
I was so engrossed and invested in this book that literally nothing else mattered! Lol I cld not think of anything else but what was gonna happen next!
I have read a lot of Dark romances before but nothing like this! It was so good.
I was so engrossed and invested in this book that literally nothing else mattered! Lol I cld not think of anything else but what was gonna happen next!
I have read a lot of Dark romances before but nothing like this! It was so good.
September 20, 2025
One of the years top reads 🖤
Forever love the characters and their characteristics. The dark humour and banter, had me howling along with them.
Bloody golden retriever and black cat were the best duo I didn’t know I needed.
Love love love!
Forever love the characters and their characteristics. The dark humour and banter, had me howling along with them.
Bloody golden retriever and black cat were the best duo I didn’t know I needed.
Love love love!
September 16, 2025
Perfect!
I needed this spectacular read. So good. I want to immediately read it again which never happens. I like the dark and twisty of it but it was also funny. The light and dark balanced perfectly. These characters and the writing was so spot on. Thank you!
I needed this spectacular read. So good. I want to immediately read it again which never happens. I like the dark and twisty of it but it was also funny. The light and dark balanced perfectly. These characters and the writing was so spot on. Thank you!
September 17, 2025
One of my new favorite books!
This was one of the best dark rom-coms I’ve read. It was funny, witty, sexy, dark, and charming all at the same time. Loved it!
This was one of the best dark rom-coms I’ve read. It was funny, witty, sexy, dark, and charming all at the same time. Loved it!
September 17, 2025
This was so fun and honestly hilarious. I found myself laughing out loud at a couple parts, and that never happens for me. The banter is A+ and honestly, it was just a great story.
September 15, 2025
everything I expected…. and MORE
I waited a few months for this to be released and it did not disappoint! The banter, the found family, the death and the spice all *chefs kiss*. I love Sev and Malek this was a great start to my spooky season reads!
I waited a few months for this to be released and it did not disappoint! The banter, the found family, the death and the spice all *chefs kiss*. I love Sev and Malek this was a great start to my spooky season reads!
December 20, 2025
This is by far one of my top reads of the year. The banter, the spice, the plot, everything! Loved everything about this and all the little things involved in this. There are so many amazing scenes to even mention a favorite but the damn lolly pop scene yall! That’s all I’ll say about that. These characters will live rent free in my brain that’s for sure.
October 19, 2025
I LOVED IT!!!! I'm definitely reading more from this author.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 120 reviews