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Opting Out
From the award-winning author/illustrator of GENDER QUEER and a bright new talent, the story of a kid named Saachi, who is navigating friendship woes, sister issues, a new crush, and a resistance to blue-and-pink binaries.
Bodies are the worst. I wish I didn't have a body.
Saachi is a storyteller. At her small junior high, she's surrounded by kids she's known forever -- including her best friend, Lyla, who shares Saachi's love of fantasy novels and creating new worlds.
But as seventh grade starts, people are changing. Suddenly it matters who likes whom, and it seems like everyone is coupling up. Even Lyla seems more interested in hanging out with Brian than in writing and drawing with Saachi anymore. Saachi's not interested in any of that boy/girl stuff. Why can't things just stay the way they were? Saachi longs to have the freedom of her little sister Samaira, whose elaborate fantasy game with her friends feels safe and comfortable.
As Saachi starts her period and has to sit through the puberty lessons in school, she grows more and more detached from her physical self. She doesn't want her body to change. Why does she have to become more "girl"? What if she doesn't feel like a girl -- or quite like a boy, either? Couldn't she just opt out of both genders? Does such a thing even exist?
Opting Out is a thoughtful exploration of what it means to grow up, both physically and emotionally, with a diverse cast of characters and an honest assessment of the limitations of social and societal binaries. Maia Kobabe (Gender Queer) and Lucky Srikumar each bring pieces of their own stories into Saachi's explorations of identity and belonging.
Bodies are the worst. I wish I didn't have a body.
Saachi is a storyteller. At her small junior high, she's surrounded by kids she's known forever -- including her best friend, Lyla, who shares Saachi's love of fantasy novels and creating new worlds.
But as seventh grade starts, people are changing. Suddenly it matters who likes whom, and it seems like everyone is coupling up. Even Lyla seems more interested in hanging out with Brian than in writing and drawing with Saachi anymore. Saachi's not interested in any of that boy/girl stuff. Why can't things just stay the way they were? Saachi longs to have the freedom of her little sister Samaira, whose elaborate fantasy game with her friends feels safe and comfortable.
As Saachi starts her period and has to sit through the puberty lessons in school, she grows more and more detached from her physical self. She doesn't want her body to change. Why does she have to become more "girl"? What if she doesn't feel like a girl -- or quite like a boy, either? Couldn't she just opt out of both genders? Does such a thing even exist?
Opting Out is a thoughtful exploration of what it means to grow up, both physically and emotionally, with a diverse cast of characters and an honest assessment of the limitations of social and societal binaries. Maia Kobabe (Gender Queer) and Lucky Srikumar each bring pieces of their own stories into Saachi's explorations of identity and belonging.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published May 5, 2026
About the author
Maia Kobabe
30 books3,741 followersMaia Kobabe is a trans author, a voracious reader, a kpop fan, and a daydreamer. You can learn an astonishing number of intimate details about em in GENDER QUEER: A MEMOIR and in eir short comics and writing published by The New Yorker, The Nib, NPR, Time Magazine, The Washington Post and in many print anthologies. GENDER QUEER won a Stonewall Honor and an Alex Award from the American Library Association in 2020. It was also the most challenged book in the United States in 2021, 2022, and 2023. Maia's second book is BREATHE: JOURNEYS TO HEALTHY BINDING written with Dr Sarah Peitzmeier (Dutton, 2024). Eir latest book is OPTING OUT, a middle grade graphic novel with Swati Lucky Srikumar (Scholastic Graphix, 2026).
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 78 reviews
July 7, 2026
This is a tough read...4.5 stars.
The first instinct as an adult reader is to become frustrated with Saachi. She's not always nice, has a temper, and struggles with friendships and relationships with her family. However, I implore any adult that reads this graphic novel to remember what it's like to go through puberty. Then imagine what it's like to go through puberty and begin to question your gender without knowing or having the vocabulary to explain how you feel. This is an excellent coming of age graphic novel that hits on several topics that will not only be engaging, but also relevant to late elementary/early middle school readers. The cultural references, the supportive parents and friends, and the artwork are an added bonus to the narrative. I highly recommend checking this one out.
The first instinct as an adult reader is to become frustrated with Saachi. She's not always nice, has a temper, and struggles with friendships and relationships with her family. However, I implore any adult that reads this graphic novel to remember what it's like to go through puberty. Then imagine what it's like to go through puberty and begin to question your gender without knowing or having the vocabulary to explain how you feel. This is an excellent coming of age graphic novel that hits on several topics that will not only be engaging, but also relevant to late elementary/early middle school readers. The cultural references, the supportive parents and friends, and the artwork are an added bonus to the narrative. I highly recommend checking this one out.
May 19, 2026
Like middle school itself, this was a joy to read, and this was also very difficult to read. These authors developed all of the characters beautifully, and how their relationships all developed?? Shout out to the sister and to the dad, who were trying to make me cry the whole book. I wish the conflict with the best friend had resolved with more closure, but that is my only main critique. I also think people could say this book was a little too educational, but I think the authors got the balance just right. I loved her reading the library book, and gradually questioning herself as the book progressed, using the language of the book.
July 20, 2026
4.5 - great exploration of gender identities for younger readers.
July 27, 2026
This was a nice story looking at Saachi who going into 7th grade, coming to terms with their changing body and their friends' changing priorities. This explores gender questioning, friendship, and authenticity, as well as becoming a writer. I really loved the sibling relationship in this, seeing them come into their own and figuring out that they actually have things in common. I also appreciated the way their religion (Hinduism) was incorporated into the story.
May 17, 2026
Just wonderful. I already knew I would love this after getting to listen to Maia and Lucky read a part of it and talk about the making of it during their book tour the week it came out, but actually reading the whole thing was just soooo!!! ❤️ Perfect for young readers (4th grade and up probably) and their loved ones, especially if they are questioning their gender.
June 11, 2026
This is going to be a hard review to write in a way that expresses my thoughts accurately and I want to make sure I'm being fair, so to start: I gave it a 3 because it's right in the middle. I didn't love it. I didn't hate it. I don't really have strong feelings either way, and that seems to be the situation with all of Kobabe's work for me personally. I know this book isn't for me because I'm not a tween and I'm not questioning my gender identity, however, I do appreciate that this book exists for that demographic who needs it. I hope they're able to find this book and feel seen.
To start with the good:
-I liked that they were able to have Saachi be a BIPOC character. I think we see fewer queer books about POC, even fewer where they openly question their identity, and even fewer where they have supportive parents. The representation was needed and well done.
-I like that the two authors were able to intertwine Saachi's culture and faith into their journey of identity exploration.
-I like the way Saachi's friendship with their sister and a friend named Alicia progressed over the course of the book. The interpersonal dynamics with most of Saachi's family and classmates will appeal to tweens who read Telgemeier a lot, I think.
-Even if you're not a tween questioning your gender, the information is presented in way that is informational but easy to understand. It will make it easier for cis allies and cis queer people to support their nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer/trans friends and family.
-I REALLY liked that Kobabe was able to tone down the depictions of periods in this book. One of my biggest issues with Genderqueer is the portrayal of periods and OBG care being depicted in such a graphic and horrific way that it becomes stigmatizing towards necessary healthcare. This was done in a much better way where the character's discomfort was acknowledged but it's not portrayed as being run through with a stake like last time. I would feel MUCH better about handing this book off to a tween or teen because of that alone.
The things I didn't like so much:
-The friendship Saachi has with their best friend, Lyla, deteriorates after Lyla starts dating someone and isn't resolved. Saachi is a writer and striving towards getting published over the course of the book but is horrible at using their words and communicating with others. It makes them come across particularly unlikeable when they are stabbing classmates in frustration and talking about people behind their back, calling dating or being interested in dating "stupid" but they never had that conversation with the friend they're talking about. They don't tell Lyla how it makes them feel or how it's affecting their friendship at all. They fight and then Saachi goes to Lyla's swim meet and it's portrayed as that arc being "done" with zero attempt to resolve it.
-Saachi also spends a lot of the early book telling Lyla that they're uninterested in trying new things with her in a way that feels mean-spirited and petulant. "You can do that, but I don't want to do that" is fine, but it's literally to everything: making new friends, trying out swimming, eating outside at lunch, etc. I'm assuming the swimming is because of discomfort in the suit, but again...you can have that conversation or communicate you don't want to participate without being rude.
-If you're familiar with Genderqueer, this feels like a retread with a younger character. I've read Genderqueer twice. I didn't love it either time (mostly because of the stigmatizing healthcare and the nonlinear memoir style). This is linear, so it feels a little more cohesive, but down to the cover for the book showing up twice in the art, this feels like a lot of the same journey being repackaged in a younger person. Again, needed and more appropriate for the demographic who is generally reading it since the original was meant for adults, but I find Kobabe's writing style kind of repetitive and a little boring. I think this could've been shorter and had fewer conflicts, which would've made it feel tighter.
Overall, I think this book is fine. It appeared on the longlist for mock Newbery. I don't think the writing is of the caliber I would consider for that, but I think it is typical of similar graphic novels in this demographic. I don't feel strongly either way, but if your collection is missing books about this topic, you have voracious graphic novel readers, or you know a teen who this topic would be helpful for, then this may be worth adding to your collection.
To start with the good:
-I liked that they were able to have Saachi be a BIPOC character. I think we see fewer queer books about POC, even fewer where they openly question their identity, and even fewer where they have supportive parents. The representation was needed and well done.
-I like that the two authors were able to intertwine Saachi's culture and faith into their journey of identity exploration.
-I like the way Saachi's friendship with their sister and a friend named Alicia progressed over the course of the book. The interpersonal dynamics with most of Saachi's family and classmates will appeal to tweens who read Telgemeier a lot, I think.
-Even if you're not a tween questioning your gender, the information is presented in way that is informational but easy to understand. It will make it easier for cis allies and cis queer people to support their nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer/trans friends and family.
-I REALLY liked that Kobabe was able to tone down the depictions of periods in this book. One of my biggest issues with Genderqueer is the portrayal of periods and OBG care being depicted in such a graphic and horrific way that it becomes stigmatizing towards necessary healthcare. This was done in a much better way where the character's discomfort was acknowledged but it's not portrayed as being run through with a stake like last time. I would feel MUCH better about handing this book off to a tween or teen because of that alone.
The things I didn't like so much:
-The friendship Saachi has with their best friend, Lyla, deteriorates after Lyla starts dating someone and isn't resolved. Saachi is a writer and striving towards getting published over the course of the book but is horrible at using their words and communicating with others. It makes them come across particularly unlikeable when they are stabbing classmates in frustration and talking about people behind their back, calling dating or being interested in dating "stupid" but they never had that conversation with the friend they're talking about. They don't tell Lyla how it makes them feel or how it's affecting their friendship at all. They fight and then Saachi goes to Lyla's swim meet and it's portrayed as that arc being "done" with zero attempt to resolve it.
-Saachi also spends a lot of the early book telling Lyla that they're uninterested in trying new things with her in a way that feels mean-spirited and petulant. "You can do that, but I don't want to do that" is fine, but it's literally to everything: making new friends, trying out swimming, eating outside at lunch, etc. I'm assuming the swimming is because of discomfort in the suit, but again...you can have that conversation or communicate you don't want to participate without being rude.
-If you're familiar with Genderqueer, this feels like a retread with a younger character. I've read Genderqueer twice. I didn't love it either time (mostly because of the stigmatizing healthcare and the nonlinear memoir style). This is linear, so it feels a little more cohesive, but down to the cover for the book showing up twice in the art, this feels like a lot of the same journey being repackaged in a younger person. Again, needed and more appropriate for the demographic who is generally reading it since the original was meant for adults, but I find Kobabe's writing style kind of repetitive and a little boring. I think this could've been shorter and had fewer conflicts, which would've made it feel tighter.
Overall, I think this book is fine. It appeared on the longlist for mock Newbery. I don't think the writing is of the caliber I would consider for that, but I think it is typical of similar graphic novels in this demographic. I don't feel strongly either way, but if your collection is missing books about this topic, you have voracious graphic novel readers, or you know a teen who this topic would be helpful for, then this may be worth adding to your collection.
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July 8, 2026
Book Riot’s Best Books of 2026 (So Far)
Maia Kobabe (Gender Queer) makes eir’s middle grade debut with this wonderful graphic novel cowritten/illustrated with Lucky Srikumar. It grapples with gender identity, first periods, crushes, and that in-between feeling so common for middle graders. Indian American tween Saachi’s fellow seventh-graders are obsessed with dating, but the changes that come with puberty and middle school make Saachi anxious. She’d like to opt out of the mess, please! Few middle grade novels address puberty through a nonbinary lens. In a time when LGBTQ+ books are disappearing from kidlit, it’s a much-needed perspective into a difficult time for many kids.
- Margaret Kingsbury
Maia Kobabe (Gender Queer) makes eir’s middle grade debut with this wonderful graphic novel cowritten/illustrated with Lucky Srikumar. It grapples with gender identity, first periods, crushes, and that in-between feeling so common for middle graders. Indian American tween Saachi’s fellow seventh-graders are obsessed with dating, but the changes that come with puberty and middle school make Saachi anxious. She’d like to opt out of the mess, please! Few middle grade novels address puberty through a nonbinary lens. In a time when LGBTQ+ books are disappearing from kidlit, it’s a much-needed perspective into a difficult time for many kids.
- Margaret Kingsbury
May 27, 2026
A perfect book for kids struggling with gender identity.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
Note: Referring to the protagonist based on pronouns in the book summary.
It was ok, but felt kind of heavy-handed.
I liked that the parents are super accepting, and the relationship Saachi has with their sister, appreciating that she's grown up become her own person, and both being friends/hanging out together. Also liked that she and Isaac have a conversation later and reach an understanding (but not a romance).
It was ok, but felt kind of heavy-handed.
I liked that the parents are super accepting, and the relationship Saachi has with their sister, appreciating that she's grown up become her own person, and both being friends/hanging out together. Also liked that she and Isaac have a conversation later and reach an understanding (but not a romance).
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 5, 2026
I meant to only look at this. The book arrived this evening, and I just wanted to take screenshots, and talk about how it was the book’s birthday, and to congratulate the authors. Instead, I sat down and read the whole thing, cover to cover. I thought it was enough to just take a peak, but found I was so interested in what would happen to Saatchi that I just had to read a little bit more, and a little bit more, until I was done.
Saatchi doens’t know how everyone else seems to have read the manual that tells them how they are supposed to act once they hit puberty. They all seem to want to date, and hold hands and kiss, and Saatchi isn’t interested in any of that. Her best friend has a boyfriend. She misses her so much.
I love how we feel this loneliness, this otherness that happens in middle-grade. How you don’t know why others seem to know what to do, and how to feel. Saatchi isn’t sure if she is transgender, or just non-binary, or what. She just knows she feels out of place.
Highly recommend this book. Happy book birthday.
Saatchi doens’t know how everyone else seems to have read the manual that tells them how they are supposed to act once they hit puberty. They all seem to want to date, and hold hands and kiss, and Saatchi isn’t interested in any of that. Her best friend has a boyfriend. She misses her so much.
I love how we feel this loneliness, this otherness that happens in middle-grade. How you don’t know why others seem to know what to do, and how to feel. Saatchi isn’t sure if she is transgender, or just non-binary, or what. She just knows she feels out of place.
Highly recommend this book. Happy book birthday.
February 8, 2026
Arc provided from the publisher for an honest review.
Maia Kobabe and Swati Srikumar team up to tell the story of an Indian American girl, Saachi, going from 6th to 7th grade and facing a changing body, changing friendships, and beginning to question their gender and identity. With everything changing, she’d like to opt out please.
There are a lot of story tendrils that are presented, some early in the book, like the tension of getting your fist period, and some later in the book, like finding and developing new friendships and being true to your own creative interests. Some books like focus in on 1 storyline and come to completion at the end. This book is a bit like more life, where multiple things happen all at once. A great addition to a library collection.
Maia Kobabe and Swati Srikumar team up to tell the story of an Indian American girl, Saachi, going from 6th to 7th grade and facing a changing body, changing friendships, and beginning to question their gender and identity. With everything changing, she’d like to opt out please.
There are a lot of story tendrils that are presented, some early in the book, like the tension of getting your fist period, and some later in the book, like finding and developing new friendships and being true to your own creative interests. Some books like focus in on 1 storyline and come to completion at the end. This book is a bit like more life, where multiple things happen all at once. A great addition to a library collection.
May 18, 2026
This had a lot of heart, but suffers from trying to do too much at once. There are a lot of themes going on which are all worthy on their own, but in the greater context of the graphic novel they were either heavy-handed or under-addressed.
I’m also a bit confused as to the timeline this book is taking place in. It appears to be contemporary, but certain things (paper rejections from a lit mag, for example) took me out & made me think it was meant to be older?
Overall, sweet and well-intentioned, but I’m left wondering whether or not it’ll really resonate with kids.
I’m also a bit confused as to the timeline this book is taking place in. It appears to be contemporary, but certain things (paper rejections from a lit mag, for example) took me out & made me think it was meant to be older?
Overall, sweet and well-intentioned, but I’m left wondering whether or not it’ll really resonate with kids.
June 30, 2026
this is the kind of book i wish existed when i was hitting puberty, becoming a teen and feeling all kinda of things that i didnt have words for. this graphic novel is sweet, hopeful and sincere - an excellent primer for tweens, teens and adults who are uncertain about themselves or just want to understand a little better. truly a delightful read!
July 1, 2026
What a wonderful story of a very tumultuous time in all young people’s lives: middle school! Saachi is wrangling their gender identity, friendships, expressing themself creatively, and puberty (the horror). Their journey and experiences are, in a lot of ways, universal. Figuring out who you are and who you want to be is never easy, but it is always worth it. 🫶
May 8, 2026
4.25 Stars
June 19, 2026
Great for any middle-schooler to read. Loved seeing parents modeled as affirming of their child's development and expresstion.
June 21, 2026
such a sweet middle grade graphic novel <3 loved how supportive saachi’s family was <3
July 14, 2026
One measure of how much I love a book is how excited I am to have my child (who is currently 3 months old) read this book one day. I'm so glad Opting Out will be on her shelf when she's ready for it, it's such an important story about growing into our own identity. The art is beautifully drawn, and the pacing, character development and world building draw you in and bring you right back to 6th/7th grade. But what makes this book so special, in my opinion, is how it asks lots of questions, but isn't prescriptive with the answers. It leaves room for readers to come to their own conclusions and feel seen at the same time.
July 18, 2026
1.0 star.
I hate-read this book only so that I could leave a bad review and hopefully show other people that this book is deeply flawed, Morally.
It has a 4.05 on Goodreads… that is a crime. This book should get review bombed into the ground. It’s harmful, it’s bad, it’s not even trying to be funny (I think), and it’s obsessed with insulting the reader. Let’s talk about it.
The book is extremely heavy handed, but that is the least of its problems.
First off, I know that the things said about people in relationships are only said about young people, but those young people who read this book will feel like their love isn’t real which can be especially harmful to queer people. And those aro/ace people who read this book will believe that love is made up, and those people will grow up believing that and thinking that people who are not aro/ace are confused and that aro/ace people are smart enough to see through the lie of love.
Edit: I just realized, people that think they are aro/ace, but are actually grey-ace or something like that, will have a really hard time accepting themselves, especially if they prided themselves on being asexual, because of this book and its moral.
I’m not mad about all the queer representation, in fact I think it’s a good thing… but not like this. In the book it is said that you do not need to understand what it’s like to be trans as long as you respect the experiences of trans people. So why does that same logic not apply to people in relationships? If I say “trans people aren’t actually trans, they’re just trying to be cool” how is that different from saying “people in relationships aren’t actually in love, they’re just trying to be cool”? And does that same logic apply to queer relationships? Of course it does, which means that this book’s protagonist, believes that gay people aren’t actually gay, and that they’re just trying to be cool. Just because you can’t understand it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t respect it.
And the protagonist HATES it when other people are together… why? Can they not handle the fact that there are experiences that will never be theirs? Can’t accept the fact that as a character who does not feel any romantic attraction; they will never understand the experiences of others? Imagine if I hate trans/nonbinary people because I will never understand them, because it’s not my experience, and imagine if I said that I wish they didn’t exist… those are all things the protagonist of this book has said or done when it comes to relationships.
Why isn’t the lesson of this book “don’t invalidate other people’s experiences and feelings”? Oh, I know why: to make it relatable to similar-minded aro/ace readers, even though that is a harmful mindset. The author doesn’t want to show aro/ace people that believe the thing that the protagonist believes, that they are wrong. The author only wants to affirm people’s harmful biases so that they leave good reviews.
Why tf did the author of this book insult most readers to affirm the biases of a much smaller group? And by that, I don’t mean aro/ace people because I know that not all of them are like this.
I only gave this book a 1.0 because of this, but I will admit that it was a good way to kill time, so at least it’s good for something. Although I had to take long breaks to calm myself down after the protagonist (who I hate) would say something offensive.
Speaking of which, I should talk about the protagonist of this book whose name I forgot. What was it? Hold on let me google it… Saachi their name is Saachi. Swear to god, I really didn’t remember that name, which is funny because I JUST finished the book. They are constantly angry about everything, and they always try as hard as they can to push away those who are there for them. They are stupid as a rock, and just about as hard headed. They are the worst. I hate them.
EDIT:wow, okay, so I blocked this scene from my memory. Seriously, I immediately forgot about this scene, to make sure that I wouldn’t have a mental breakdown after reading it.
Saachi: Do you have a crush on me?
Other guy whose name I forgot: no. Do you have a crush on me?
Saachi: no. do you have a crush on Lyla?
Other guy whose name I forgot: Maybe. Do you have a crush on Lyla?
Saachi: maybe.
Me reading it: FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The book: *Ends*
I also feel like the book would have been better if— what’s their name? Right, Saachi. It would have been better if Saachi had looked more feminine in the beginning of the book, then over time, slowly realizing they were nonbinary, they started cutting their hair shorter. That way it would seem like a subtle hint for those around them, which is something that closeted people do a lot, to not only try to ease their family into the idea of them being trans, but also because of the desire for a more gender neutral appearance.
But the way it is in the book, it feels like Saachi has been gender neutral from the beginning, which hurts the plot, and makes the realization of there gender identity feel fake, or at least much less impactful.
I just wish the author had changed the character design to match the character ark. If only there were an ounce of mercy in this cruel world, maybe the simplest and easiest ways of conveying a character ark visually, would be considered by authors. Of course not, they only need to affirm people harmful biases in order to get a good rating.
Lyla dreams of dancing with a man, a completely acceptable thing to do, and very common at that age. Well Saachi doesn’t think so. If you don’t want to make someone feel bad in their moment of vulnerability, saying “so weird” is not a good idea.
You ever read that book— what was it… Diary of A Wimpy Kid? Well this book starts out with Saachi’s diary entry. And when reading the book I got to the second page and I knew I was going to hate it because of this line:
“I live with my sister, who is a pest”… take a looooooong breath Peevy. Long slow breaths… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know that while Saachi wasn’t paying attention to their sister, Samaira became “cool” I will right more on this tomorrow because it is 1:44 AM right now. Also my name isn’t Peevy.
It’s the next day! A Brand New Day, if you will. A Spider-m— so anyway, I’m not actually going to talk about what I said I would last night, because I have a lot of childhood trauma that I don’t want to get into, so now I’m trying to distract myself by making bad jokes. Enjoy!
“I dreamed I was a boy” yeah so did i, last night actually, because I am a boy. “But how did you know you were a boy? Did you see yourself naked?” “No!” Screaming for no reason, are we? “Or was your face different?” “No, I looked like myself” “then how did you know?” Winy child screams will be heard in three, two, one! “I just knew! It doesn’t matter. Forget about it.” Once again, screaming for no reason. God, it’s like they’re on their period or something… wait…
“He’s so annoying” “he’s funny sometimes” oh yeah, like when he kicked your best friend in the shin, so that they couldn’t play soccer? So funny. “he’s my enemy” wow, not heavy handed at all. This is the kind of dialogue that gets publishing companies onboard.
“I need clean underwear.” I’ve had that same experience, except I’m I guy, so not for the same reasons. Forget I said anything. “What are you doing?” Says a small child, who has done nothing wrong. “Nothing!” Yup, more winy child screams, except this time they’re screaming at a small child.
Oh god, I just remembered the time that Saachi stabbed a guy in the hand, because he touched their desk… yup, it left a permanent scar. A guy touching your desk when you told him not to, is reason enough to stab him in the hand. Do you see why I hate this character? Are we supposed to believe that Saachi I NOT a bully? Because this is bullying. Man, I was praying Saachi would get SOME kind of severe punishment, anything to nock some scene into them, but of course not.
I was hoping the guy that got stabbed would Superman-punch Saachi into becoming the past president of the being alive club. At least that would end the book on a high note, and it would end my suffering.
“At least everyone else here is an elementary school kid, so I don’t have to care what they think” …What? That was one of the most offensive lines in this book. I remember being that age, and how everyone assumed I wasn’t smart, or that they “didn’t have to care what I thought”, and they didn’t. I was just a dumb kid in their eyes, nothing more than a snotty brat, with barely a thought behind my eyes. But none of that is true. I knew when I was 3, that people wouldn’t truly understand me until I was older. I saw it in the eyes of the those who hurt me, I saw the thoughts inside their heads, the belief that I was nothing more than an animal, not yet touched by god. I knew that look wouldn’t go away for many years, I knew no matter what, people need someone to be weaker than themselves in order to feel strong. They needed to believe they were better than me, in order to feel like they mattered. Alas, only a coward feels mighty, when stepping on ants. I knew no matter what I did to show them that I was their equal, they would never listen. Would you? Would you believe that the smallest child is just as bright, and smart, and intelligent as you? Look at a child as you make your answer, look into the eyes that have not seen a fraction of what you have, look at the sticky fingers, food smeared mouth, hear the drawl of the child’s words. No you wouldn’t. Don’t try to justify it. Just know that you wouldn’t. Who would? Because just like with time, all wounds heal, and eventually you forget what the pain even felt like, until you find yourself giving out that same pain to others without even a thought. Do you remember the feeling? Every time you speak to a child as anything other than a true equal, you are hurting the child, and the child knows it, weather they tell you or not, weather they know that they know, they do know. Children act differently, they talk differently, they do not know as much about the world, but they are your equals, in intelligence, in kindness, in happiness, and sadness. they are your equals, in every way, but the ones given by time, and those are nothing, when compared to the rest. Would you hit a child? Likely not, but it would be easier than hitting a grown man, a man that can fight back, a man that can hurt back. Do you bully children? Do you hurt them in a way that you would never do to someone bigger? Have you ever seen a young child, and seen them as less than yourself? Be honest. Would the author of this book write that same line, in a book for elementary schoolers? Think about that.
Remember my words, live by them. That is the only way forward.
I hate-read this book only so that I could leave a bad review and hopefully show other people that this book is deeply flawed, Morally.
It has a 4.05 on Goodreads… that is a crime. This book should get review bombed into the ground. It’s harmful, it’s bad, it’s not even trying to be funny (I think), and it’s obsessed with insulting the reader. Let’s talk about it.
The book is extremely heavy handed, but that is the least of its problems.
First off, I know that the things said about people in relationships are only said about young people, but those young people who read this book will feel like their love isn’t real which can be especially harmful to queer people. And those aro/ace people who read this book will believe that love is made up, and those people will grow up believing that and thinking that people who are not aro/ace are confused and that aro/ace people are smart enough to see through the lie of love.
Edit: I just realized, people that think they are aro/ace, but are actually grey-ace or something like that, will have a really hard time accepting themselves, especially if they prided themselves on being asexual, because of this book and its moral.
I’m not mad about all the queer representation, in fact I think it’s a good thing… but not like this. In the book it is said that you do not need to understand what it’s like to be trans as long as you respect the experiences of trans people. So why does that same logic not apply to people in relationships? If I say “trans people aren’t actually trans, they’re just trying to be cool” how is that different from saying “people in relationships aren’t actually in love, they’re just trying to be cool”? And does that same logic apply to queer relationships? Of course it does, which means that this book’s protagonist, believes that gay people aren’t actually gay, and that they’re just trying to be cool. Just because you can’t understand it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t respect it.
And the protagonist HATES it when other people are together… why? Can they not handle the fact that there are experiences that will never be theirs? Can’t accept the fact that as a character who does not feel any romantic attraction; they will never understand the experiences of others? Imagine if I hate trans/nonbinary people because I will never understand them, because it’s not my experience, and imagine if I said that I wish they didn’t exist… those are all things the protagonist of this book has said or done when it comes to relationships.
Why isn’t the lesson of this book “don’t invalidate other people’s experiences and feelings”? Oh, I know why: to make it relatable to similar-minded aro/ace readers, even though that is a harmful mindset. The author doesn’t want to show aro/ace people that believe the thing that the protagonist believes, that they are wrong. The author only wants to affirm people’s harmful biases so that they leave good reviews.
Why tf did the author of this book insult most readers to affirm the biases of a much smaller group? And by that, I don’t mean aro/ace people because I know that not all of them are like this.
I only gave this book a 1.0 because of this, but I will admit that it was a good way to kill time, so at least it’s good for something. Although I had to take long breaks to calm myself down after the protagonist (who I hate) would say something offensive.
Speaking of which, I should talk about the protagonist of this book whose name I forgot. What was it? Hold on let me google it… Saachi their name is Saachi. Swear to god, I really didn’t remember that name, which is funny because I JUST finished the book. They are constantly angry about everything, and they always try as hard as they can to push away those who are there for them. They are stupid as a rock, and just about as hard headed. They are the worst. I hate them.
EDIT:wow, okay, so I blocked this scene from my memory. Seriously, I immediately forgot about this scene, to make sure that I wouldn’t have a mental breakdown after reading it.
Saachi: Do you have a crush on me?
Other guy whose name I forgot: no. Do you have a crush on me?
Saachi: no. do you have a crush on Lyla?
Other guy whose name I forgot: Maybe. Do you have a crush on Lyla?
Saachi: maybe.
Me reading it: FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The book: *Ends*
I also feel like the book would have been better if— what’s their name? Right, Saachi. It would have been better if Saachi had looked more feminine in the beginning of the book, then over time, slowly realizing they were nonbinary, they started cutting their hair shorter. That way it would seem like a subtle hint for those around them, which is something that closeted people do a lot, to not only try to ease their family into the idea of them being trans, but also because of the desire for a more gender neutral appearance.
But the way it is in the book, it feels like Saachi has been gender neutral from the beginning, which hurts the plot, and makes the realization of there gender identity feel fake, or at least much less impactful.
I just wish the author had changed the character design to match the character ark. If only there were an ounce of mercy in this cruel world, maybe the simplest and easiest ways of conveying a character ark visually, would be considered by authors. Of course not, they only need to affirm people harmful biases in order to get a good rating.
Lyla dreams of dancing with a man, a completely acceptable thing to do, and very common at that age. Well Saachi doesn’t think so. If you don’t want to make someone feel bad in their moment of vulnerability, saying “so weird” is not a good idea.
You ever read that book— what was it… Diary of A Wimpy Kid? Well this book starts out with Saachi’s diary entry. And when reading the book I got to the second page and I knew I was going to hate it because of this line:
“I live with my sister, who is a pest”… take a looooooong breath Peevy. Long slow breaths… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know that while Saachi wasn’t paying attention to their sister, Samaira became “cool” I will right more on this tomorrow because it is 1:44 AM right now. Also my name isn’t Peevy.
It’s the next day! A Brand New Day, if you will. A Spider-m— so anyway, I’m not actually going to talk about what I said I would last night, because I have a lot of childhood trauma that I don’t want to get into, so now I’m trying to distract myself by making bad jokes. Enjoy!
“I dreamed I was a boy” yeah so did i, last night actually, because I am a boy. “But how did you know you were a boy? Did you see yourself naked?” “No!” Screaming for no reason, are we? “Or was your face different?” “No, I looked like myself” “then how did you know?” Winy child screams will be heard in three, two, one! “I just knew! It doesn’t matter. Forget about it.” Once again, screaming for no reason. God, it’s like they’re on their period or something… wait…
“He’s so annoying” “he’s funny sometimes” oh yeah, like when he kicked your best friend in the shin, so that they couldn’t play soccer? So funny. “he’s my enemy” wow, not heavy handed at all. This is the kind of dialogue that gets publishing companies onboard.
“I need clean underwear.” I’ve had that same experience, except I’m I guy, so not for the same reasons. Forget I said anything. “What are you doing?” Says a small child, who has done nothing wrong. “Nothing!” Yup, more winy child screams, except this time they’re screaming at a small child.
Oh god, I just remembered the time that Saachi stabbed a guy in the hand, because he touched their desk… yup, it left a permanent scar. A guy touching your desk when you told him not to, is reason enough to stab him in the hand. Do you see why I hate this character? Are we supposed to believe that Saachi I NOT a bully? Because this is bullying. Man, I was praying Saachi would get SOME kind of severe punishment, anything to nock some scene into them, but of course not.
I was hoping the guy that got stabbed would Superman-punch Saachi into becoming the past president of the being alive club. At least that would end the book on a high note, and it would end my suffering.
“At least everyone else here is an elementary school kid, so I don’t have to care what they think” …What? That was one of the most offensive lines in this book. I remember being that age, and how everyone assumed I wasn’t smart, or that they “didn’t have to care what I thought”, and they didn’t. I was just a dumb kid in their eyes, nothing more than a snotty brat, with barely a thought behind my eyes. But none of that is true. I knew when I was 3, that people wouldn’t truly understand me until I was older. I saw it in the eyes of the those who hurt me, I saw the thoughts inside their heads, the belief that I was nothing more than an animal, not yet touched by god. I knew that look wouldn’t go away for many years, I knew no matter what, people need someone to be weaker than themselves in order to feel strong. They needed to believe they were better than me, in order to feel like they mattered. Alas, only a coward feels mighty, when stepping on ants. I knew no matter what I did to show them that I was their equal, they would never listen. Would you? Would you believe that the smallest child is just as bright, and smart, and intelligent as you? Look at a child as you make your answer, look into the eyes that have not seen a fraction of what you have, look at the sticky fingers, food smeared mouth, hear the drawl of the child’s words. No you wouldn’t. Don’t try to justify it. Just know that you wouldn’t. Who would? Because just like with time, all wounds heal, and eventually you forget what the pain even felt like, until you find yourself giving out that same pain to others without even a thought. Do you remember the feeling? Every time you speak to a child as anything other than a true equal, you are hurting the child, and the child knows it, weather they tell you or not, weather they know that they know, they do know. Children act differently, they talk differently, they do not know as much about the world, but they are your equals, in intelligence, in kindness, in happiness, and sadness. they are your equals, in every way, but the ones given by time, and those are nothing, when compared to the rest. Would you hit a child? Likely not, but it would be easier than hitting a grown man, a man that can fight back, a man that can hurt back. Do you bully children? Do you hurt them in a way that you would never do to someone bigger? Have you ever seen a young child, and seen them as less than yourself? Be honest. Would the author of this book write that same line, in a book for elementary schoolers? Think about that.
Remember my words, live by them. That is the only way forward.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 16, 2026
We initially meet Saachi via their writing on the pages of their new, colorful journal, a gift from their best friend Lyla. In the bunk below is their annoying little sister, Samaira, and in the kitchen is mom, while dad is momentarily elsewhere. He appears soon enough - and both parents remain neutral, solicitous, but also demanding, with high expectations when they are speaking directly to their children.
We don't get many stories of Tamil American young people, making this story unique. (Then again, it may be that other children's or young adults' books about people from India are about the Tamil culture, but it's not explicitly stated, as it is in this one.)
We get lots of books for tweens about the start of your period, and the time when everyone around you suddenly seems boy-crazy or girl-crazy, and how annoying both of those things are!
This one is unique in that the main character maintains a discomfort and heavy-handed judgment about both those developments that never lets up. This is not one of those stories where the character gets used to it, embraces it, and feels resolution -as Saachi's friend Lyla does for herself and suggests for Saachi. Instead, Saachi's irritation grows into violent outbursts that harm others and lead to worse internal tension and self-doubt.
Meanwhile, although midway through the book the dad is at a party of their Tamil family members, and clearly expresses respect for and support of a cousin who has asked the family to use a different pronoun, Saachi takes forever to have the least bit of faith that they could discuss anything with their parents. Likewise when they meet other schoolmates who seem open-minded, they don't ask or tell anything personal.
After seeing Samaira and other younger children acting so free about their own imagined selves and a world of freedom, Saachi submits a poem that reveals more personal aspects of their identity to strangers at a publishing house.
However, the first time Saachi verbalizes a possibility that they may not be straight, binary, and cis is when a boy who has been bullying Saachi suddenly opens up and speaks first about the topic. Why Saachi feels safe at that moment but not all the others is a total mystery.
Saachi is an unpleasant, hypercritical, complainer with a short temper. It is presented as inextricably bound to their gender discomfort, making it hard not to think "This person is cranky BECAUSE the world doesn't accept their identity" - except that is not what is happening. They are actively pushing away people who might accept them, refusing help, and literally reading factual information from a Your Body And You guidebook that explains everything, and either rejecting it, forgetting it, or misunderstanding it.
I found this very frustrating - it may be true-to-life for many tweens and teens, but GADZOOKS it was irksome to read.
I don't know how young readers will take this, because of course books about idiots are super popular - Wimpy Kid, for example. So it just makes me sad that this unique culture and identity are portrayed as so emotionally and socially incapacitated.
We don't get many stories of Tamil American young people, making this story unique. (Then again, it may be that other children's or young adults' books about people from India are about the Tamil culture, but it's not explicitly stated, as it is in this one.)
We get lots of books for tweens about the start of your period, and the time when everyone around you suddenly seems boy-crazy or girl-crazy, and how annoying both of those things are!
This one is unique in that the main character maintains a discomfort and heavy-handed judgment about both those developments that never lets up. This is not one of those stories where the character gets used to it, embraces it, and feels resolution -as Saachi's friend Lyla does for herself and suggests for Saachi. Instead, Saachi's irritation grows into violent outbursts that harm others and lead to worse internal tension and self-doubt.
Meanwhile, although midway through the book the dad is at a party of their Tamil family members, and clearly expresses respect for and support of a cousin who has asked the family to use a different pronoun, Saachi takes forever to have the least bit of faith that they could discuss anything with their parents. Likewise when they meet other schoolmates who seem open-minded, they don't ask or tell anything personal.
After seeing Samaira and other younger children acting so free about their own imagined selves and a world of freedom, Saachi submits a poem that reveals more personal aspects of their identity to strangers at a publishing house.
However, the first time Saachi verbalizes a possibility that they may not be straight, binary, and cis is when a boy who has been bullying Saachi suddenly opens up and speaks first about the topic. Why Saachi feels safe at that moment but not all the others is a total mystery.
Saachi is an unpleasant, hypercritical, complainer with a short temper. It is presented as inextricably bound to their gender discomfort, making it hard not to think "This person is cranky BECAUSE the world doesn't accept their identity" - except that is not what is happening. They are actively pushing away people who might accept them, refusing help, and literally reading factual information from a Your Body And You guidebook that explains everything, and either rejecting it, forgetting it, or misunderstanding it.
I found this very frustrating - it may be true-to-life for many tweens and teens, but GADZOOKS it was irksome to read.
I don't know how young readers will take this, because of course books about idiots are super popular - Wimpy Kid, for example. So it just makes me sad that this unique culture and identity are portrayed as so emotionally and socially incapacitated.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 27, 2026
Young Saachi is entering seventh grade and is forced to reckon with the inevitable changes that come with growing up: puberty, crushes, and the concept of getting older. Saachi hates it all - doesn’t want to talk about how she’s developing like a woman, getting her period, and Mom telling her to start wearing a bra. She doesn’t understand when peers start dating, so much so that it puts a strain on her relationship with her best friend. She doesn’t understand why these changes are happening, and she hates how fast it suddenly starts. To add to the confusion and inner turmoil, the gift of a book about puberty from Saachi’s parents defines gender identity versus what you were assigned at birth and it gives Saachi more than she’s able to handle and it feels like there’s no one to help sort out what’s going on. She tries to sort through everything with her writing, but inevitably confirms Dad’s stereotypical idea of teenaged angst, focusing on the negative and avoiding the work of processing their circumstances.
It all boils over when an ‘enemy’ makes fun of Saachi for no longer sitting with her friend, throwing the mean words Sachi had teased him with back at her and instigating a reaction. Which works with all the things boiling inside Saachi, and she uses a keychain charm that her sister gifted to her to stab his hand. With a suspension Saachi has time to really think about things. A visit to the temple with her father gives her plenty to consider - like trying to make new friends even though the pain of losing her best friend was a lot. Saachi finds a real friendship in her younger sister through stories - the one amazing thing they have in common. She also finds a partner to share her writing with, attempts to reconcile with the boy she harmed, and even gets a poem published in a teen writing magazine. The letter saying she is going to be published is what pushes her to finally confront the fear she’s had about her identity and talk with her parents. It’s a sweet moment that reminded me of being a young queer child coming out to my parents and the love and support I was also fortunate enough to have. It genuinely almost made me cry. Link to complete review: https://ysbookreviews.wordpress.com/2...
It all boils over when an ‘enemy’ makes fun of Saachi for no longer sitting with her friend, throwing the mean words Sachi had teased him with back at her and instigating a reaction. Which works with all the things boiling inside Saachi, and she uses a keychain charm that her sister gifted to her to stab his hand. With a suspension Saachi has time to really think about things. A visit to the temple with her father gives her plenty to consider - like trying to make new friends even though the pain of losing her best friend was a lot. Saachi finds a real friendship in her younger sister through stories - the one amazing thing they have in common. She also finds a partner to share her writing with, attempts to reconcile with the boy she harmed, and even gets a poem published in a teen writing magazine. The letter saying she is going to be published is what pushes her to finally confront the fear she’s had about her identity and talk with her parents. It’s a sweet moment that reminded me of being a young queer child coming out to my parents and the love and support I was also fortunate enough to have. It genuinely almost made me cry. Link to complete review: https://ysbookreviews.wordpress.com/2...
June 19, 2026
The time has come to confess a cardinal sin of mine as a nonbinary graphic novel enjoyer: I didn’t like Gender Queer. Yes, it’s true. I’m sorry to say I went into Opting Out with low expectations because of that. Turns out my expectations were all wrong and this book rocks. The art is simple but cute and Saachi’s story is sweet, age appropriate, and culturally informed, with a refreshing and realistic portrayal of accepting parents who are doing their best. Maia and Lucky hit it out of the park!
My main wish is that Saachi had a more impactful moment of realization that they* were picking on and bullying that one kid in their class for months, even if he did start retaliating (I’m writing this review a month after reading it so I forgot his name, sorry). The two characters do ultimately reconcile and start building up a friendship, but I was impressed that the book was willing to show its protagonist externalizing their negative feelings in a messy, less than perfect way - so many books with young queer protagonists are hesitant to do this, and in my opinion those books are weaker for it - and would have loved a slightly deeper acknowledgement/apology from Saachi.
I was homeschooled and my younger siblings were ~alternatively~ schooled so I found Saachi’s small alternative schooling situation familiar (down to the ethnic/racial demographics, which ARE addressed in the story, another win!). I’m not sure if it would be unrelatable to the majority of kids or if it would just seem cool, but I’m assuming cool.
4 stars because the plot wasn’t the tightest and some threads felt dropped or tied up too quickly, but overall I enjoyed it. Big ups for Redwall representation, a realistic sibling relationship, and a realistic portrayal of a religious (Hindu) family!
Would recommend this book to nerdy 9-14 year olds, especially third culture kids! It will be extra special to nonbinary kids, Desi kids, and Hindu kids but I think it has plenty of appeal outside those demographics.
*Saachi uses she/her pronouns in the book but is coming to the realization of being nonbinary so I’m using neutral pronouns in my review.
My main wish is that Saachi had a more impactful moment of realization that they* were picking on and bullying that one kid in their class for months, even if he did start retaliating (I’m writing this review a month after reading it so I forgot his name, sorry). The two characters do ultimately reconcile and start building up a friendship, but I was impressed that the book was willing to show its protagonist externalizing their negative feelings in a messy, less than perfect way - so many books with young queer protagonists are hesitant to do this, and in my opinion those books are weaker for it - and would have loved a slightly deeper acknowledgement/apology from Saachi.
I was homeschooled and my younger siblings were ~alternatively~ schooled so I found Saachi’s small alternative schooling situation familiar (down to the ethnic/racial demographics, which ARE addressed in the story, another win!). I’m not sure if it would be unrelatable to the majority of kids or if it would just seem cool, but I’m assuming cool.
4 stars because the plot wasn’t the tightest and some threads felt dropped or tied up too quickly, but overall I enjoyed it. Big ups for Redwall representation, a realistic sibling relationship, and a realistic portrayal of a religious (Hindu) family!
Would recommend this book to nerdy 9-14 year olds, especially third culture kids! It will be extra special to nonbinary kids, Desi kids, and Hindu kids but I think it has plenty of appeal outside those demographics.
*Saachi uses she/her pronouns in the book but is coming to the realization of being nonbinary so I’m using neutral pronouns in my review.
Review of advance copy received from Edelweiss+
E ARC provided by Edelweiss Plus
Saachi lives with her parents, Krishnan and Rukmani, and her younger sister, Samaira. Her parents are supportive, even is Saachi doesn't like that they occasionally make her take care of her sister. She spends a lot of time with her best friend Lyla, but as seventh grade starts, Saachi doesn't like the fact that many of the boys and girls in her class are pairing up and "going out". When she gets her period, she's even more miserable, since she refuses to tell her mother, who might help her get proper supplies. She and Lyla are big fans of a fantasy book series, but Lyla isn't as interested in it as she used to be, and Saachi is more comfortable playing with Samaira and her friends. Saachi fights twice with Isaac, a boy in her class whom she thinks bullies her, and is suspended for three days after stabbing him with a sword key chain. She would like to be a writer, and journals frequently. After her parents get her a subscription to a teens writing magazine, she even submits some poems, but gets rejected. Middle School is hard to navigate at the best of times, and since Saachi suspects she may be nonbinary, it's even harder. She fights with Lyla over a misunderstanding, comes to find that Isaac is someone with whom she actually gets along, and tells her parents about her gender identity journey only to find that they are still very supportive.
This is another middle grade graphic novel that has elements of a memoir, like Hale's Real Friends and Scrivan's Nat Enough books. I love the Hindu representation, but wish there had been a little more explanation about some aspects of it for my students who have never known anyone from that culture. This seems to be set in the modern day, but there are some things that seemed very 1990s to me, like Saachi sending in poem submissions and getting paper rejection letters mailed to her.
Saachi lives with her parents, Krishnan and Rukmani, and her younger sister, Samaira. Her parents are supportive, even is Saachi doesn't like that they occasionally make her take care of her sister. She spends a lot of time with her best friend Lyla, but as seventh grade starts, Saachi doesn't like the fact that many of the boys and girls in her class are pairing up and "going out". When she gets her period, she's even more miserable, since she refuses to tell her mother, who might help her get proper supplies. She and Lyla are big fans of a fantasy book series, but Lyla isn't as interested in it as she used to be, and Saachi is more comfortable playing with Samaira and her friends. Saachi fights twice with Isaac, a boy in her class whom she thinks bullies her, and is suspended for three days after stabbing him with a sword key chain. She would like to be a writer, and journals frequently. After her parents get her a subscription to a teens writing magazine, she even submits some poems, but gets rejected. Middle School is hard to navigate at the best of times, and since Saachi suspects she may be nonbinary, it's even harder. She fights with Lyla over a misunderstanding, comes to find that Isaac is someone with whom she actually gets along, and tells her parents about her gender identity journey only to find that they are still very supportive.
This is another middle grade graphic novel that has elements of a memoir, like Hale's Real Friends and Scrivan's Nat Enough books. I love the Hindu representation, but wish there had been a little more explanation about some aspects of it for my students who have never known anyone from that culture. This seems to be set in the modern day, but there are some things that seemed very 1990s to me, like Saachi sending in poem submissions and getting paper rejection letters mailed to her.
June 9, 2026
This is my third Maia Kobabe book and first by illustrator, Swati "Lucky" Srikumar. This author-illustrator combination is an all-star team.
"Opting Out" is a beautifully told story that will be important to a lot of people. The characters are endlessly lovable, nuanced, and interesting. I would absolutely read other stories with this family and friends group in the future. In fact, this is an official request. I really enjoyed reading about an Indian family, and love the idea [light spoiler] that the transformations (avatars) of a Hindu god can be an inspiration for a person's gender identity journey.
* For the spoiler sensitive, stop reading here. *
This book is for you if you are yearning for:
- A stellar pair of parents who make decisions with kindness, care, and thoughtful communication
- A sibling relationship that grows and develops
- A caring (Indian) community that wants the best for their children in an open-minded and loving way
- A religion and culture that are viewed through a lens of positively supporting individual, family, and community needs
- Middle school relationships that are hard but where friends continue to choose each other
- Kids who are readers and writers: imaginative, creative, and resilient
- And more! I can't tell you everything-- but even if I did, you should still read the book
Were tears shed? There might have been some dampness on my cheeks. Who can say.
There are two primary ways that a book can become a five-star read for me. First, it was a book that was truly meaningful for me personally, that I will come back to read again, and think about it for years after reading it. Second, when a story is crafted with the maximum skill possible in its own way. I think that for many folks, this book will be both.
My source: ebook via Hoopla.
"Opting Out" is a beautifully told story that will be important to a lot of people. The characters are endlessly lovable, nuanced, and interesting. I would absolutely read other stories with this family and friends group in the future. In fact, this is an official request. I really enjoyed reading about an Indian family, and love the idea [light spoiler] that the transformations (avatars) of a Hindu god can be an inspiration for a person's gender identity journey.
* For the spoiler sensitive, stop reading here. *
This book is for you if you are yearning for:
- A stellar pair of parents who make decisions with kindness, care, and thoughtful communication
- A sibling relationship that grows and develops
- A caring (Indian) community that wants the best for their children in an open-minded and loving way
- A religion and culture that are viewed through a lens of positively supporting individual, family, and community needs
- Middle school relationships that are hard but where friends continue to choose each other
- Kids who are readers and writers: imaginative, creative, and resilient
- And more! I can't tell you everything-- but even if I did, you should still read the book
Were tears shed? There might have been some dampness on my cheeks. Who can say.
There are two primary ways that a book can become a five-star read for me. First, it was a book that was truly meaningful for me personally, that I will come back to read again, and think about it for years after reading it. Second, when a story is crafted with the maximum skill possible in its own way. I think that for many folks, this book will be both.
My source: ebook via Hoopla.
June 14, 2026
3.5/5 stars for me.
Srikumar and Kobabe draft a story middle school story about not fitting in with everyone else at school, and fit in themes of racism, asexuality, and gender nonconformity. The book has a good structure and flow to it, and discusses how things and relationships in life will change and adapt, just as you change and adapt through adolescence.
The conflict with Lyla was never resolved, but maybe it was never going to be. Lyla and Saachi grew apart. They both changed as people and grew in their own ways, but that’s not a bad thing at all. It’s just a part of life sometimes.
The colorists did…not do a great job with this if I’m being honest. It’s very low contrast and is hard to see at some points. Also, I feel like while Saachi is an accurate description of how, at the very least Kobabe felt growing up, and probably also Srikumar, I’m still not entirely a fan of period = dysphoria. Especially since it kind of was the only reason for Saachi’s dysphoria? There was maybe kind of a thing with feminine clothing, but that was it. Girls and boys dating and Saachi thinking it’s gross is more of a hint towards being a repulsed Asexual, not really a hint towards gender in any way at all.
I do think this is a really important shelf to have on the shelves for middle grades though. It opens up the conversation about gender nonconforming identities in a positive way. Saachi’s conversation with her parents and her father’s respect towards her cousin that transitioned were both immensely important scenes in this graphic novel and I think it’s important that those scenes stay as written, even if I think other parts of the story could’ve been better.
Srikumar and Kobabe draft a story middle school story about not fitting in with everyone else at school, and fit in themes of racism, asexuality, and gender nonconformity. The book has a good structure and flow to it, and discusses how things and relationships in life will change and adapt, just as you change and adapt through adolescence.
The conflict with Lyla was never resolved, but maybe it was never going to be. Lyla and Saachi grew apart. They both changed as people and grew in their own ways, but that’s not a bad thing at all. It’s just a part of life sometimes.
The colorists did…not do a great job with this if I’m being honest. It’s very low contrast and is hard to see at some points. Also, I feel like while Saachi is an accurate description of how, at the very least Kobabe felt growing up, and probably also Srikumar, I’m still not entirely a fan of period = dysphoria. Especially since it kind of was the only reason for Saachi’s dysphoria? There was maybe kind of a thing with feminine clothing, but that was it. Girls and boys dating and Saachi thinking it’s gross is more of a hint towards being a repulsed Asexual, not really a hint towards gender in any way at all.
I do think this is a really important shelf to have on the shelves for middle grades though. It opens up the conversation about gender nonconforming identities in a positive way. Saachi’s conversation with her parents and her father’s respect towards her cousin that transitioned were both immensely important scenes in this graphic novel and I think it’s important that those scenes stay as written, even if I think other parts of the story could’ve been better.
March 15, 2026
I was very happy to receive an advanced copy of this new middle grade graphic novel. While the advanced copies for graphic novels don’t have all the color or the final versions of all the content, this was still a good view into what the book will be.
While the book covers topics rarely available in books for this age group, it ended up trying to cover way too much ground for one book. Resulting in not enough time spent on any of them. The feeling of not fitting in, generally but also in terms of gender, is infused throughout, as the title and book description communicate. But there are tons of family, friend, and school dynamics, as well as puberty, sex education, and relationship issues. The sister relationship was my favorite, and the main character Saachi’s parents were so supportive and loving despite also making missteps with their child. The tween angst and struggles with friendship and growing up are well done. As another reviewer said, the time frame for the story feels muddled, with a mix of what it must have been like for the authors growing up and what it’s like to grow up today. So I have reservations about how well this will land with middle school readers.
It’s clear that this book will be targeted for censorship by many people because it covers the topics like gender identity, periods, sex education, young relationships, and a non-Christian religion. Nothing is explicit, but even mentioning these topics brings ire from certain contingents. But I hope it will find the people who need to read it!
While the book covers topics rarely available in books for this age group, it ended up trying to cover way too much ground for one book. Resulting in not enough time spent on any of them. The feeling of not fitting in, generally but also in terms of gender, is infused throughout, as the title and book description communicate. But there are tons of family, friend, and school dynamics, as well as puberty, sex education, and relationship issues. The sister relationship was my favorite, and the main character Saachi’s parents were so supportive and loving despite also making missteps with their child. The tween angst and struggles with friendship and growing up are well done. As another reviewer said, the time frame for the story feels muddled, with a mix of what it must have been like for the authors growing up and what it’s like to grow up today. So I have reservations about how well this will land with middle school readers.
It’s clear that this book will be targeted for censorship by many people because it covers the topics like gender identity, periods, sex education, young relationships, and a non-Christian religion. Nothing is explicit, but even mentioning these topics brings ire from certain contingents. But I hope it will find the people who need to read it!
May 20, 2026
“Opting Out is a deeply thoughtful, emotionally honest, and beautifully compassionate graphic novel that explores identity, friendship, gender, and adolescence with remarkable sensitivity and emotional clarity. Maia Kobabe and Lucky Srikumar create a story that captures the confusion and vulnerability of growing up while questioning the expectations placed upon bodies, gender, and belonging. Through Saachi’s perspective, the novel offers a profoundly relatable portrayal of feeling disconnected from changing social norms and uncertain about where one fits within them.”
“What stood out most was the emotional authenticity behind Saachi’s inner struggle. The story never forces easy labels or simplistic answers; instead, it allows identity exploration to unfold gradually, thoughtfully, and with emotional nuance. The shifting friendships, awkward social dynamics, family relationships, and growing discomfort surrounding puberty all feel painfully real in the way only the best middle grade storytelling can achieve. The artwork beautifully reinforces the emotional atmosphere of the narrative, balancing warmth, humor, uncertainty, and vulnerability in ways that make the story feel deeply accessible and emotionally resonant for young readers. The result is a graphic novel that feels gentle yet powerful offering understanding, empathy, and reassurance to readers navigating questions surrounding identity, selfhood, and emotional belonging.”
“What stood out most was the emotional authenticity behind Saachi’s inner struggle. The story never forces easy labels or simplistic answers; instead, it allows identity exploration to unfold gradually, thoughtfully, and with emotional nuance. The shifting friendships, awkward social dynamics, family relationships, and growing discomfort surrounding puberty all feel painfully real in the way only the best middle grade storytelling can achieve. The artwork beautifully reinforces the emotional atmosphere of the narrative, balancing warmth, humor, uncertainty, and vulnerability in ways that make the story feel deeply accessible and emotionally resonant for young readers. The result is a graphic novel that feels gentle yet powerful offering understanding, empathy, and reassurance to readers navigating questions surrounding identity, selfhood, and emotional belonging.”
July 18, 2026
Nobody gets through puberty unscathed, but it's especially difficult if you're Saachi, and you don't understand what's happening or why. She is struggling with her gender identity, and is prickly about things like getting periods, or suddenly all the 7th grade girls and boys are asking each other out and having crushes, and what the heck even is dating? She'd much rather go back to being a kid with her bestie Lyla, reading fantasies and creating their own fantasy worlds, where none of this stuff mattered. Now she and Lyla are not talking, and Saachi is struggling to figure out if she can talk to her parents about what's going on in her head. She's a writer, though, so maybe pouring herself into a poem will help?
I liked this a lot. I thought it was a great combination between the cultural aspects of Saachi's life (they speak Tamil at home, and go to the temple, and Saachi combines aspects of the Hindu stories with her fantasies) and the gender struggles. I especially loved how Saachi discovered her little sister was suddenly best-friend material, and just as creative and interesting as Saachi with her stories. I remember being in 7th grade and suddenly there was big gossip about who was "going with" who, and I just had no idea what the heck was going on and what that even meant. So I think not just kids with gender identity struggles will identify with Saachi. I loved how supportive her parents were. Overall, a winner!
I liked this a lot. I thought it was a great combination between the cultural aspects of Saachi's life (they speak Tamil at home, and go to the temple, and Saachi combines aspects of the Hindu stories with her fantasies) and the gender struggles. I especially loved how Saachi discovered her little sister was suddenly best-friend material, and just as creative and interesting as Saachi with her stories. I remember being in 7th grade and suddenly there was big gossip about who was "going with" who, and I just had no idea what the heck was going on and what that even meant. So I think not just kids with gender identity struggles will identify with Saachi. I loved how supportive her parents were. Overall, a winner!
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
Moving from sixth to seventh grade, this graphic novel has the main character Saachi, who is getting her first period and feeling a certain way about it and her girlhood, leaning more toward nonbinary rather than even a boy. And exploring these questions is made more complicated by her disintegrating friendship with her best friend who is dating a boy and taking her away from them hanging out and connecting. Saachi has writing to help her explore her feelings since she hasn't yet approached her parents with her thoughts either though she knows her parents might be supportive since she overheard a conversation about a family friend's trans status.
It's the typical coming-of-age graphic novel with complicated feelings, in this case, about her body and her background/religion as a way to work through them, as a Hindu family who speaks Tamil (it's written into the graphic novel with English accessible to non-Tamil readers) on the page.
My issue is that the book wraps up VERY quickly and too abruptly. I realized there were only pages left and knew I wasn't going to get the resolution to several plot points and Saachi's story in general.
It's the typical coming-of-age graphic novel with complicated feelings, in this case, about her body and her background/religion as a way to work through them, as a Hindu family who speaks Tamil (it's written into the graphic novel with English accessible to non-Tamil readers) on the page.
My issue is that the book wraps up VERY quickly and too abruptly. I realized there were only pages left and knew I wasn't going to get the resolution to several plot points and Saachi's story in general.
June 15, 2026
The perfect middle grade graphic novel to recommend for Pride Month.
🙍🏽
As seventh grade begins, Saachi feels increasingly out of step with her peers. While friends become interested in crushes, dating, and growing up, Saachi wishes things could stay the same. Struggling with puberty and uncomfortable with the changes happening to her body, she begins questioning what gender means and whether she fits into the expectations of being a girl or a boy at all. Through friendship, self-reflection, and imagination, Saachi embarks on a journey to better understand herself.
🙍🏽
This story felt real. Authentic. Unresolved in some cases, messy in others, but all of it part of life and growing up. I loved that we had a BIPOC main character with struggles that actually end up going beyond her gender journey like friendships changing, anger issues, etc. I adored Saachi’s supportive parents so much! This would work for fifth grade and up and if you love Kobabe’s Gender Queer, this fictional story will win you over too.
CW: violence, physical assault, blood, body dysphoria, bullying, transphobia, injury, racism (discussed)
🙍🏽
As seventh grade begins, Saachi feels increasingly out of step with her peers. While friends become interested in crushes, dating, and growing up, Saachi wishes things could stay the same. Struggling with puberty and uncomfortable with the changes happening to her body, she begins questioning what gender means and whether she fits into the expectations of being a girl or a boy at all. Through friendship, self-reflection, and imagination, Saachi embarks on a journey to better understand herself.
🙍🏽
This story felt real. Authentic. Unresolved in some cases, messy in others, but all of it part of life and growing up. I loved that we had a BIPOC main character with struggles that actually end up going beyond her gender journey like friendships changing, anger issues, etc. I adored Saachi’s supportive parents so much! This would work for fifth grade and up and if you love Kobabe’s Gender Queer, this fictional story will win you over too.
CW: violence, physical assault, blood, body dysphoria, bullying, transphobia, injury, racism (discussed)
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