Torn

by Nicole Madigan

Is love enough? In Torn, four women face the biggest decisions of their lives. For readers of Heartsick and Three Women.

Anna is in her early seventies and met her future husband when they were 12 years old. One day, Anna's daughter handed her a card from another woman.

Kate is in her mid-fifties. Her husband gave Kate her dream family, and for her kids, she tolerated his drinking and affairs. But then he started gambling away their futures.

Liana, in her mid-forties, was in a series of abusive relationships before she finally met a man who seemed 'normal'. Then she spotted the signs of addiction she knew all too well.

Amanda, in her mid-thirties, and her husband were childhood sweethearts. She found out he'd been visiting sex workers since their wedding – then she met the love of her life.

Torn is an intimate, compelling exploration of the age-old dilemma: to stay in an unhappy relationship, or to leave? This book is about four women in moments of crisis – and what they chose to do next.

Genres: Nonfiction

210 pages, ebook

Published January 1, 2025

About the author

Nicole Madigan is a journalist, and author of Obsession: a journalist and victim-survivor's investigation into stalking.

Reviews

[Suz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book Tour Stop | TORN
Four Women’s Stories of Why They Left – or Why They Stayed

It’s my stop on the tour of TORN and what a trip it’s been 🩵
@bynicolemadigan @panterapress

These are the books I love: real topics told by real women, without fanfare or the need to deviate from the heart of the matter. When someone has personal experience in these issues, the reader can be assured the delivery is accurate and true.

Discussions on coercive control, separation and divorce, DV, “should I stay or should I go?” These are so fraught that if the writers lack experience, it all becomes hearsay, what-ifs and innuendo. The women’s stories presented here are tragic, upsetting, emotional and worrying. They are also our neighbours, sisters, friends and mothers. And they are true.

These four Australian women’s stories are completely unsettling, and I truly believe that’s because this issue is prevalent yet so hard to address - do the collective really want to know? They may shine a much-needed light for those seeking guidance, validation or a way forward. I know what it’s like to be stuck. These stories matter, and I see you.

This is a timely and important book told with candour, sincerity and honesty. The partners described present addictions in many forms—with devastating outcomes for everyone involved. The addictive nature and refusal to address these issues are laid out clearly. Addiction is hard to face. Enabling, trying to fix—this is because we all have such open hearts and want so very hard to make things right.

Many of us sit on the fence or make judgements. We know this. TORN pushes through these icky parts of humanity and does our collective community some well-needed justice.

Uncertainty, to dwell, to procrastinate, tearing your heart out over the decision to end a union—this is real. It’s what happens behind closed doors, right here, right now.

I highly recommend this well written and important read.

Thank you to Nicole and Pantera Press for this connection with the other reading friends and to provide a voice to encourage readers to look closely at an important book

[Leticia McKellar · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is not my usual genre to read, but I was completely drawn in by this book from the first page. Nicole’s writing flows so beautifully that I found myself deeply absorbed in each of these women’s stories. All four women were incredibly brave. Given the rawness of their experiences, it was so moving to see how open they had been with their stories, and each one really had an impact on me. Some endings made me cry, others shocked me with the choices they made, and all of them kept me turning the pages. A powerful, moving and unforgettable read.

[Abbey Hilder · Rating 4 out of 5]

These stories were very interesting and beautiful to read, you never really know what goes on in a relationship, it’s always left up to speculation. The hardships these women faced made me pause and close the book for a while just to shake my head. A definite must read

[tinkingaboutbooks · Rating 3 out of 5]

Torn by Nicole Madigan explores the complex realities of four women in unhealthy relationships, "torn between their hearts and minds."

While quick to read, Torn tackles heavy themes, including mental health, family dynamics, addiction, coercive control, and intergenerational trauma. Madigan notes that "breaking up a long-term relationship is quite simply, inconvenient."

Did you know? Nicole Madigan is also an ambassador for Friends with Dignity, an organisation that assists victims of domestic violence.

I read Torn as part of a publisher book tour.

[greyt_things · Rating 3 out of 5]

Will inspire you to hate misogyny even more.

[Shahrazad Houmam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading this book as someone in her 20's has been conflicting, i'd like to think that i will leave in all the scenarios no matter how hard that is.. But maybe that won't be the case, reading about a situation and living it are two completely different things, and we can't judge a person for staying simply because that isn't something that we would do. I just hope that no matter what people choose to do, they have no regrets or doubts about it.

[Alma G · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. A tough read. I wish the women all well.

[Anggi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a really gripping book about the story of four different women’s journeys in deciding whether to stay or leave their imperfect at times abusive relationships. I really appreciated the way the author told the story of each woman. You could tell Nicole has put a lot of thoughts and efforts in making it respectful yet also honest. I think many people will be able to relate to the state of being torn in making a difficult life decision.

[Eugenie Pepper · Rating 5 out of 5]

Emotional and honest. It pulled me in. I couldn’t stop reading. I read it in one afternoon.

[Cass Moriarty · Rating 4 out of 5]

Are you in an intimate relationship and struggling to know whether to stay or leave? Have you ever wondered why a woman might stay in a difficult marriage, or how she ever had the courage to leave? Nicole Madigan explores this issue in her non-fiction book TORN (Pantera Press 2025), in which women face huge challenges and must make a life-changing decision about which path to take.

Madigan bookends the central four stories of four women’s situations with some details of her own life experiences, and research references. But the book mostly focuses on these women and issues including addiction, infidelity, betrayal, loyalty, forgiveness, secrets, abuse and coercive control, asking the question: how much can we withstand before we give up on the dream life we always wanted and expected?

Anna has been with her husband since they were 12 years old. Now in her seventies, she speaks of the past trauma of her daughter showing her a card sent to her husband addressed from another woman. Kate, mid-fifties, tolerates her husband’s affairs and his excess drinking because she loves him and their children. But his gambling addiction is a line she is not willing to cross.

After a series of abusive relationships, Liana (now in her forties) was elated when she finally found someone ‘normal’. But her antennas for addiction problems are extra sensitive because of her past trauma, and she realises she has once again fallen for the wrong man. And Amanda, mid-thirties, struggles in her relationship with her husband who had been her childhood sweetheart. The discovery that he had been seeing sex workers for years terrifies her. She meets a new man, possibly the love of her life, but can she give up everything she has built to start afresh?

With sensitivity and compassion, Madigan tells the complex and layered stories of these four women in an attempt to untangle why women stay, why they leave, and the many complicated factors that might be deal breaking for one person, but tolerable for another. All four women face a crisis and must make a life-changing decision. Not all will make the decision the reader expects, and in this way, Madigan’s story encourages a tender discussion about how every marriage is different, every woman is prepared to sacrifice different things, and every woman has a breaking point. Every one of these four women is torn, unsure what to do, how to do it, and where to go from there.

Using extensive research interviews with the women (anonymised) and reimagining their past conversations and interactions, Madigan writes with warmth and sincerity about a subject close to her heart.

This book is for anyone who is considering whether to go or stay, or for those who want to understand the reasons others might make a different choice.

[Phoebe Rogers · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed Torn; full confession, I am a psychologist and couples therapist and found this to be a powerful read. I have followed Nicole’s work and writing for sometime and am grateful to have my expertise and commentary featured in Torn. Her chosen case studies are rich- these women are full of depth, pain, trauma, wounds and courage; much like you and I. And what decision is as challenging as whether to stay or go. Amanda’s story will sit with me for sometime- themes of feeling powerless, and blind spots of her own; finding true love yet being unable to escape her reality, plus the possibility of healing from the worst and forgiving. And accepting the imperfections of life and love and finding a way to exist.

Nicole is able to balance both storytelling and the psychology of loving when you’re hurting. She is able to hold the complexity of relationships, past trauma, fears of leaving and staying, so that we can have greater insight and empathy for women who face relationship ruptures, hurdles and big betrayals. It’s easy to say leave, but certainly not when it is your story. This is as real as it gets, and that type of writing matters.

[Zibby Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book tackles the misunderstood question: why do some women stay in relationships marked by control, betrayal, or abuse? Through the stories of four different women, the author reveals their struggles, their inner strength, and the complicated circumstances that kept them bound to difficult partners. She weaves their narratives with insight into psychology, social expectation, and the invisible forces—fear, financial dependence, shame, and hope—that shape these decisions.

Madigan shows use the complexity of love, loyalty, and survival, as well as how stepping away can sometimes be harder than staying put. Torn is heartbreaking for the pain it depicts and affirming in the resilience it uncovers. It’s an important book for anyone seeking to understand not only why women stay, but also how they find the courage to leave or rebuild on their own terms.

To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://shows.acast.com/moms-dont-hav...

[Brooke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nicole’s career as an investigative journalist and her life experiences led her to writing about these four women and the dilemma of whether to remain in their unhappy relationships, or to leave. Exploring the effects of infidelity, substance addiction, gambling, controlling behaviour, domestic abuse and inter-generational trauma on these women, Nicole has written a compelling and emotional book.

The four women: Liana, Kate, Amanda and Anna are all at different stages of their lives and all come from different upbringings, but ultimately they have all found themselves in relationships that are not what they hoped for. However, leaving is never as easy as it sounds with so many considerations that cause emotional turmoil.

I enjoyed the way the book was divided into the four stories, each with their own overriding issue. Nicole has related their stories with heart and sensitivity and I felt connected to each of these women’s tales. Although at times a devastating read, each story ends with hope for the future, despite what the woman chose.

[Sarah Lou · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tragic, heartbreaking, unfair but beautiful. The courage, resilience, strength, hope and determination of the four women featured in this book is remarkable. Not forgetting the many thousands of women in this country alone, who are continuing to live this daily.

Sadly snippets of these stories are not unfamiliar to me, the women I know, or the countless others who grew up in dysfunctional households.

An important piece of reading for all, especially those who cannot understand why a woman would continue to stay in such relationships.

We can’t keep sweeping this stuff under the rug. Such behaviours of the men in this book quite often escalate to physical violence, leading to the reason why 100+ women were killed in 2024.

[Lorna Casha · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting look into how the men women choose can become unrecognisable in a short amount of time. It also shows how close these men are to their children, which can often make leaving much more difficult. Although all four women dealt with very serious issues in their marriages and for them, leaving made a lot more sense, it felt like the author was biased towards ending any marriage that isn’t quite perfect.

[Liz Stephens · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this super interesting! If you like Esther Perel or any sort of couples therapy/psychology podcasts, you’d also find this a good read/listen. Each story unpacks a relationship breakdown and the complexity around whether to stay or leave. It certainly challenged my own perceptions of infidelity and addiction and ultimately reinforced the importance of women maintaining financial independence from their partners.

[Harriet Kesby · Rating 3 out of 5]

The writing wasn’t anything special but will be a good discussion for book club. Wasn’t as nuanced as it could’ve been, I would’ve liked to maybe read each short story as from two perspectives of both partners

[Kailee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Equal part joyous and sad, Torn will give you all the emotions. An intimate exploration of one of the most coming female experiences. I could no put it down.

[aglae]

Unfortunately, my faith in men has now dipped
Fortunately, I didn’t have much to begin with

[Julia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good! I liked the stories but every single story had some form of infidelity, even when it wasn’t the main storyline. Would be maybe better to get a broader range

[Tai Lee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Started off strong. First time I read a book that had several typos (that I noticed) - editing would benefit this book. All stories involve women with children. DNF the last story.

[Justina Ding · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very basic writing style. A few typos. But that said it’s an easy, quick read on some heavy issues.

[Hayley Martin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Completely lacking in nuance.

[Anna]

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[mads :) · Rating 3 out of 5]

DNF 84% - way too depressing and infuriating I’m sorry

[Jana Andritsos · Rating 3 out of 5]

Brilliant concept just not brilliantly executed, and genuinely wondering if anyone proof read this book. worth a read though!!