The Spick and the Span

by Pil Van Martin

Imaginative, magical, wildly funny, and with a truly unique world, The Spick and the Span is an extraordinary, exciting fantasy middle grade adventure – perfect for fans of Jessica Townsend's Nevermoor, Jonathan Stroud's Lockwood and Co, Diana Wynne Jones' Howl's Moving Castle, and Terry Pratchett's Discworld.

Thanks to many generations of careless magicians, the city of Helm is overflowing with magic, which has made it a very dangerous place to live. Leave anything alone for too long and it will transform into something your house will turn to gingerbread, your teapot will start pouring pond water or – if you're really unlucky – your floor will turn to lava.

The magicians liked to pretend it’s them who keep the worst magical hiccups in check, but the real heroes of the whole sorry situation are of a wholly different equally well known but decidedly less respected.

The heroes of the city of Helm are the cleaners.

Ward, an ambitious twelve-year-old cleaner, wants nothing more than to belong to the League of Cleaners, who will grant him the prestige and popularity he's been looking for all his life – if only he can pass three near-impossible tests. Struggling toward this goal with a team he doesn't trust, Ward's world is upended when his friend disappears and mysterious magic-eating monsters appear all over the city and start tearing holes in the fabric of reality. Suddenly his ambitions are the least of his problems…

Hugely funny and exciting, and with an incredibly imaginative, original story, The Spick and the Span is the unmissable fantasy middle grade debut of 2025 – you'll never look at magic the same way again…

Genres: Fantasy, Middle Grade

320 pages, Paperback

Published July 31, 2025

Reviews

[Kai Spellmeier · Rating 5 out of 5]

the sweetest book about a ragtag group of lost kids who fight haywire magic with super-hoovers and spray cans like absolute badasses (excuse the language). The warm-hearted, clever, bonkers, queer love child of Terry Pratchett and Jonathan Stroud.

[Green_Gravity · Rating 4 out of 5]

My 11 old daughter really enjoyed this book. This is what she said:

The spick and the span is an exceptionally captivating book that I enthusiastically recommend. Not only is the storyline thoroughly enjoyable but I found myself irresistibly drawn to finish it. Initially I anticipated a conventional plot similar to others I have encountered however I soon discovered a more riveting suprise. The book encompasses every facet I seek in a fantasy book: the enchanting presence of magic,the joyous interplay of laughter, the gripping suspense and the profound connection of friendship- all elements that are challenging to incorporate seamlessly within a narrative. Yet, the spick and the span achieves this flawlessly. Another delightful aspect is it's subtle references to familiar fairy tales.

[Ellen · Rating 3 out of 5]

(I am conscious of the fact that I'm the first person to leave a less-than-glowing review of this book, and I just want to say that I think I'm being a little negatively skewed by the audiobook narrator, who decided to do a different accent for every character in this book, which was incredibly distracting and didn't set me up well to enjoy the listening experience)

This was a really fun idea, well executed in terms of plot and pacing. A really strong, well-written debut for an MG author who I hope we see more from soon. However, I think it suffered a bit from what the kids are calling 'bean soup'-ification -- that is, the need to acknowledge and tackle every possible socio-political implication of the plot for fear of being considered insensitive. At best, this makes the plot feel a little over-encumbered with issues to address, from displaced peoples to found family to environmental crisis. At worst, it makes the reader feel a little like the book is talking at them, not to them, in a way that feels a bit worthy. I think the best MG picks a couple of things to address in its pages, and is maybe a little bit less conspicuous with its moral messaging. I particularly found Magda's character a little too self-serious -- she is described as witty and humorous at the end and honestly, I didn't feel like that was the case at all. She felt like she was there to be Ward's moral foil, which made her feel a bit dry.

I'd love to see more from this world, perhaps with a bit more focus and narrowed scope.

One thing I haven't made up my mind about is the ending. I think if you have spent a large portion of your novel describing what is essentially a climate-driven refugee crisis, it's a bit too convenient to create a portal that sends them all home. However, this is middle grade, and that's maybe too complex of an issue to ask a book for 9-12 year olds to address.

[Mahi Aggarwal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading "The Spick and the Span" by Pil Van Martin was such a refreshing experience for me. The story is not about the usual shining heroes or grand warriors we often see in fantasy, but about the overlooked, unseen people who keep the world running - the magical cleaners.

The main character, Ward, an ambitious young clear, but his dreams are so big. He longs to be part of the League of Cleaners, to prove himself, to be noticed. I really felt connected to his emotions because deep down, all of us want recognition and a chance to show that we matter. His feelings of being small and invisible reminded me of my own moments of being underestimated.

What I loved most was how the book mixed light and dark moments. There were so many funny, almost silly magical accidents ,That scenes made me smile. But at the same time, there was a deep tension running through the story - Ward’s friend goes missing, strange creatures that feed on magic begin to appear, and the whole city seems at risk of falling apart. Those parts really pulled at my heart.

Ward’s journey is full of courage and growth. He learns that being a true hero is not about applause or fame, but about loyalty, responsibility, and standing up when things are at their worst. By the end, I felt so proud of him, almost as if I had watched a child grow up in front of me.

This book touched me on a personal level. It reminded me of the value of people we often don’t notice - those who quietly work behind the scenes, fixing problems so others can shine. Ward’s story is magical and adventurous, but also deeply human. It made me laugh, it made me emotional, and it left me with a warm heart. A truly magical feeling for me .

[Mugdha Mahajan · Rating 4 out of 5]

In the city of Helm, magic is everywhere and not always in a good way. A spoon might start flying, a floor could turn into jelly, and a kettle might start singing! That’s why people like Ward, a young cleaner, are so important. He dreams of joining the famous League of Cleaners, who keep the city safe from magical messes.

But when strange creatures begin eating magic and his best friend disappears, Ward’s world turns upside down. With the help of a brave girl from another world and a talking frog, he sets off on a wild adventure.

The Spick and the Span is funny, fast-paced, and full of imagination, a story about bravery, friendship, and finding your place in a world that’s a little too magical for its own good.

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'd never heard of this book before I randomly passed a bookshop and saw this sitting in a discount corner. Knowing what I do about this book I'd happily pay the full price and consider it a bargain. Its a weird and highly imaginative idea about magic causing a type of pollution that needs specialized cleaning up before shenanigans in the way of house plants coming alive and possibly attacking the owners for example pop up. The first page hooked me right away and the deep friend/found family were seen almost immediately and just felt so right. I really hope that this book will get the attention it deserves as its an absolute gem of a tale.

[Sebastien · Rating 5 out of 5]

From page 1, I was hooked on this book. It is indeed giving strong Terry Pratchet vibes but perhaps slightly more modern. If you’re looking for magic, humour, puns, unconventional heroes and interesting characters this is the book for you.

The world of Helm is full of magic and fantastical and slightly silly in the best way possible. The characters all bring interesting perspectives and don’t follow the classic hero tropes while the plot moves at a good pace.

I laughed out loud, was genuinely sad at certain points and wished the story could continue!

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this as I really like the Authors previous books and I loved it. I actually read it outloud with my partner and it has us literally giggling at times, but also staying up well past bedtime to finish certain chapters!
The world building is excellent, I really hope they write a sequel so we can see more of it, and the characters were fantastic. A real range of personalities and none of them were a cliche. Its so hard to write without spoilers but I really enjoyed the tempo of the book and how it ended.
I was thoroughly impressed and as I said I want to read more!

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fairly sure The Spick and The Span was intended for younger audiences than myself but I was completely enthralled by the magical world of Helm, which is conjured up so vividly by the author. The plot is pacy and the characters are vulnerable and flawed but completely loveable. Really refreshing to read something that’s challenging lots of contemporary issues in a beautifully imaginative way. Excited for more!

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

A joyous read

How wonderful to get lost inside this story which is a real page turner. Loveable characters and a plot full of adventure, humour and thought provoking topics. What incredible imagination Pil Van Martin has in creating this world that is a joy to experience. A lovely read for older children and adults too.

[WD German · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really wonderful book for young adults and those older! A wonderful universe where the characters feel honest to their experiences, exploring friendship, what family means, and growing up in an unequal world. Glorious, and I can’t wait to see what’s next in Helm.

[Aimee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Completely gripped from the first page, this is a world I got completely lost in and so could not put this book down. Have bought copies for the wee folk in my life as I cannot wait to talk to them about it and wait together for the next one. Thank you!

[Will Watt · Rating 5 out of 5]

God, I love books that give younger readers the benefit of the doubt. The wit and world-building were reminiscent of a Terry Pratchett novel, but with a decidedly modern sensibility. I very much hope that this is a world we'll get to explore more in future books.

[Elaine · Rating 4 out of 5]

A heartwarming middle grade adventure. Full review here: https://www.parentingwithouttears.com...

[Cassius · Rating 4 out of 5]

my mum would like this book

[Sarah Leather]

DNF @ page 49

I was reading this with my 9 year old and she doesn’t want to continue with it.

[Liberty · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5💫

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

An amazing gripping adventure, full of friendship, action and magic. I was completely drawn into the world of Helm, it is so beautiful imagined on the page and the humorous voice of the author throughout helps to keep you amused, gripped and feel part of the world yourself.

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

The city of Helm is overflowing with magic thanks to the magicians constant antics. When magic is left to run will anything can happen and often does. When a mysterious magic-eating monster shows up and threatens the very city itself, it's up to the cleaners to try and clean up the magic and save the city.

Ward is a 12-year-old cleaner who came to the city after the mountain dwarves disowned him. He wants nothing more than to be part of the prestigious League of Cleaners, but has to consider what he will sacrifice to get there.
I adored this magical middle-grade tale that combines fantasy and humour. One of the wonderful things about this book is how queer it is and how diverse the characters are.
Such a fabulous way to introduce a range of queer-identities to a middle-grade age group. Give me more books with transgender vampires!

At its core, this is a story about chosen family and correcting mistakes, but also not letting your ambition hurt those that you love. Families come in all shapes and sizes, and Ward learns this within the narrative arc.
Miss nine enjoyed this one just as much as I did, so definitely one to look up if you want a humorous fantasy tale that will give you the warm and fuzzies!

Thanks so much to HarperCollins NZ for sending me a copy to review!