My Husband Doesn't Love Me and He’s Texting Someone Else: The Love Coach Guide to Winning Him Back

by Andrew G. Marshall

Your good man is behaving badly.

If you’re reading this your life will be in turmoil. The man you thought you knew has turned your life upside down; you don’t know where to turn or what to do for the best. Your husband is angry, dismissive and says he’s fallen out of love and doesn’t think you have a future together. Meanwhile, you’re alternating between begging for another chance and falling into complete despair. Fortunately, marital therapist Andrew G. Marshall has a message of hope.

In part one, he explains how to turn round your relationship and emerge with a stronger bond.
- How to get to the bottom of why he’s fallen out of love
- What’s really going through his mind.
- Why your husband has turned into a stranger.
- The signs that show if he’s depressed and what to do about it.
- How to build better communication and start improving your relationship.

In part two, he covers how to tell if there’s another woman and gauge whether she really is a threat. He explains:
- The six types of other woman from a ‘spark’ to ‘the love of his life’.
- Tailored strategies for dealing with each one.
- The five worst and best reactions after uncovering what’s really going on.
- How to combat the poison that she’s slipping into your relationship.
- When to keep fighting and when to make a tactical withdrawal.

236 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 8, 2014

About the author

Andrew has been a marital therapist for almost thirty years. He trained with RELATE the UK's leading couple counselling charity. He now has a private practice in London and Sussex (England), gives workshops on relationship and inspirational talks. His books have been translated into twenty languages (including French, German, Spanish, Japanese, Chinese and Italian). He also writes for UK newspapers Daily Mail and Mail on Sunday.

Andrew is also the host of the podcast "The Meaningful Life with Andrew G Marshall" where each week I interview therapists, academics and people with a story to tell about making better relationships, deeper connections understanding yourself and what makes life meaningful.

Reviews

[Pippa Casely · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bang On.

Firstly, if you're reading this from necessity rather than interest, my heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry - you must be in a horrible place right now, but it does get better. I actually didn't win him back but that's because this book helped me to understand that I'm better than that - I deserve more. My 'husband' is a serial cheater who lines up his next relationship before finishing the current one - I might recommend this book to his current girlfriend when her time comes! It helped me to understand the part I'd played (and to avoid that in future) and gave me the strength to accept that it was over, without being too clingy and desperate (which I'll admit to in the early stages!). But most importantly, it gave me techniques that helped me cope with it all, from staying out all night when he promised he wouldn't to going away with her and her children in my car (which at the time felt like a gross invasion of personal space). Whether or not this book saves your relationship is negotiable, but it might just save your sanity while you decide. Good luck and all my best.

[Emi Yoshida · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read two earlier Andrew Marshall books and found them helpful (I Love You But I'm Not IN Love with You 2006 and How Can I Ever Trust You Again 2009) but in this book written in 2014 I found a lot of repetition, sales pitching, lots of typos, and what sounds to me like actual hostility against women. I guess this book is for desperate women with no outside or inner resources, or dastardly ones who have single-handedly ruined their marriages to their sweet and faultless people-pleasing husbands. Most of the advice in this book is useless if your husband is not able or willing to express thoughts, feelings, facts or plans.

If you are frustrated in the latter situation, as I am, the things I found helpful are the 6 lines about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, which is a short course of 6-sessions focusing on learning skills rather than just talking. Also he offers clear points to follow if negotiating a separation, or reconciliation, including terms for dealing with the other woman.

And I have to say this book did provide me with 234 pages worth of belly laughs, like this gem regarding whether to raise the issue of being in a rut sex-wise, in this book written for women who are dealing with their husbands' infidelity, "in the worst-case scenario, he might even think you were having an affair!"

[Dana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good

I believe this helped me to understand some of what happened in my marriage that was my fault. Read this please

[Diana Postman · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I've read on cheating

Helps by giving you your husband's point of view and how differently men think than women. Gives you pointers on the best options to try to solve your marital issues.

[Laini · Rating 3 out of 5]

I understand now what happened. However, winning him back came either too little or too late. Another book I wish I had at the first signs of disconnect.