Help! I'm Ruining My Kids: A Gospel Guide for the Mom Who's Desperate for Change

by Abbey Wedgeworth

Read by the author.

Are you worried that, despite your best efforts, you're messing up your kids? Help! I'm Ruining My Kids is your invitation to trade defeat and fear for hope and joy as you follow the biblical road map to becoming the mom you're meant to be.

We all desperately want to be good mothers who produce good humans, but our flaws and habits get in the way. We're reactive when we want to be intentional. We check out when we need to be engaged. And at the end of a long day, our minds are often flooded with thoughts of self-condemnation.

Author and mother Abbey Wedgeworth has been there too. But she has an important message to share with fellow Nothing is beyond redemption--not you, not your experience of motherhood, and not your kids' experience of your imperfections.

In Help! I'm Ruining My Kids, Abbey invites you to journey with her toward a place where God's grace frees you from a guilty conscience, his compassion ministers to your past and present hardships, and his Spirit transforms you to look more like Jesus. With refreshing transparency, practical wisdom, and biblical encouragement, Abbey helps you

Identify and accept your personal limitsDevelop realistic expectations for motherhoodDiscover how to fight against mom guilt and the shame that comes with itCreate a comprehensive action plan for changeLearn to parent well as a work in progressThe good news is we can change--with a few practical tools and a whole lot of God's grace.

Charts and a discussion guide can be found in the audiobook companion PDF download.

Genres: Parenting, Faith, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Self Help, Christian

Audible Audio

Published March 24, 2026

About the author

Abbey Wedgeworth is a wife, mother, and writer based on the South Carolina coast.

Reviews

[Elizabeth Santelmann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read the whole thing because the last chapter made me cry in the best way. This book is the one wish I had when I was starting my walk with God as a mom!! Even 12 years into the journey it was comforting, encouraging, and gave me some new strategies to try.

I almost never recommend parenting books, but Abbey’s willingness to go first and share how the grace of God meets us in low moments shows she really believes it.

I love seeing the things she’s read and the way she has allowed good parenting practices to marry with theology in a relatable and easy to understand way!

She has practical tips, but reminds us over and over that Christ is where we can find our worth. It’s not in how well we clean our house. Not in being perfectly patient all the time. We don’t find it in the way we dress and dress our kids. Parenting is about us realizing we need Jesus and we can point our kids to him everyday.

[Sophie Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

So, so good. By far the most holistic book on parenting I’ve ever read. Read the whole thing as I cried de-pressurizing tears through the last chapter and acknowledgements. Not sure I could recommend this more highly.

[Micaela Lees · Rating 1 out of 5]

I went into it REALLY wanting to like it... and I am hesitant to share my thoughts because I don't know how to not sound really critical and I'm aware that I could be the problem with misplaced expectations--

I almost chucked my phone a few times in the first few chapters because of how she handled the mental health aspect for moms in particular. It felt like she leaned heavilty into a very psychologized view of man and offered little hope outside of the admonition to go to a doctor to have things assessed physically. The first 2 chapters almost felt like an apologetic for why you should see a psychotherapist. I'm guessing that was born of her own struggles, though. Her solutions in those chapters did not provide much in terms of gospel hope and seemed more focused on changing external circumstances and lightening the mother's load-- almost giving the impression that if you do that, things will go better. She did say that wasn't true, but it felt almost like an addendum to her point.

And in a way, she's right. A struggling mom needs a phsycial by her doctor and should change her schedule so she can get more sleep. We must care for our physical bodies. My hormones and iron make my anxiety struggle SO much worse... but they don't excuse it. Many books do overlook that we are embodied people and our bodies do impact us spiritually, so that is good, but I almost felt like I was reading a psychology book with some Christian pieces sprinkled in at the end-- it didn't feel consistent with a biblical worldview. The chapters I read didn't say much about our sin or about Christ-- just a lot of circumstance modification and almost seeking to balance a cocktail of "are all my needs met" because if they are... then I won't fail them. Almost that we're victims of our bodies and our trauma, which is what really needs managed in order to change our parenting (and we need to make sure that is managed in our children as well-- again, not totally wrong)

Perhaps I went into it with the wrong expectations. I was expecting gospel hope in the struggles of parenting. Or (probably very likely), I gave up too early (i made it to chapter 5) and the second half was rich in the truths my heart was craving. I think this is such a contrast to the hope of the Bible as seen in books like 2 Cor. I am weak and I am a sinner. Christ died for sinners and he is my greatest hope. In him, I am dead to my sin no matter how tired I am and while I need to go take a nap and care well for my physical body, what I mean most is redemption and to fight my sin by the power of the Spirit.

[Shannon Evanko · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. I truly think this is one of the best motherhood books I’ve read, and I’ve read a lot of them.

I think the biggest compliment I could give it is that after every single chapter I thought— “It was worth buying this whole book for that ONE chapter.” But I thought it after every chapter…

I feel refreshed, encouraged, strengthened and renewed in my salvation and ongoing sanctification from the Lord and this calling of motherhood after reading this.

Well done, Abbey. The Lord has given you a high calling to help shape children and other mothers!

[Michele Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I could give it 10 stars I would. The real life stories, the constant pointing to the gospel, the reminder about physical limitations/our nervous system and remembering how we can contribute to our healthy well-beings. I cried many, many times.

Praise God that there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ. If parenting has shown me one thing, I can't parent well enough to wipe the sin out of my children's hearts. I have tried. And I can't plan well enough to avoid it being hard, I have tried! AND I DON'T HAVE TO. I can love my littlest neighbor (wow, loving the people we live WITH is way harder than the ones we live beside!) and point them to Christ while I show them my utter need for Him. Also, when I think about how when I do ____ and ____ I feel so drained that I end up snapping at my kids, who are the ones I am supposed to love the most well!

I have reflected on what triggering moments in motherhood I can better anticipate - transitioning home/getting out of the car is an especially hot point. I have asked for forgiveness and have shown myself more grace. Practical stuff!

This was the best parenting book I have read so far.

[Ellie (elliehojreads) · Rating 5 out of 5]

All the stars. This book was dripping with gospel truth in parenthood. I will continue to refer back to this again and again!

[Rebecca Joyner · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a must-read, in my opinion, for EVERY mom (but especially a young mom!) This book is filled with gospel truths and practical application.

In my opinion, it's the perfect mix of theological truths + research backed + actual practical things for you to take and do in each chapter. I could've underlined the whole book.

I think the best part though is how Abbey goes first in humility and candor sharing her own motherhood experiences and failures. It makes this book incredibly relatable and also hope-filled.

I read this with a friend and loved being able to discuss after each chapter - this is an excellent option for a mom book club. I will for sure be picking this up to read again and again.

I've read some great biblical parenting books over the last 8 years of motherhood, but this is the best book specifically on biblical motherhood that I've ever read.

[Stacey Stephens · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a lovely read, and one that I started with some apprehension because faith + parenting can be a complicated knot to unravel. Abbey writes with such grace and good reminders of basic gospel truths.

“My failures in motherhood do not negate God’s faithfulness “

[Sydni · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful resource for moms (and dads!) seeking ways to not just fix their kids’ behavior, but work on their own hearts. I have read Abbey’s newsletter for years and love how she applies the gospel so practically to real life situations, and gives you sample scripts for what to say in the moment. I like how the end of each chapter has summaries so you can quickly refresh later.

[Morgan Blackburn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m both challenged & encouraged! The practical application interwoven with the gospel truth without glazing over the reality of motherhood being hard was just right. Highly recommend!

[Shelley Owen · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best motherhood book I have read. I have been asking friends who I have shared my inner battles with “WHERE are the motherhood books that are real? The ones that aren’t just talking about goldfish on the ground?”

This is it. After 5 pregnancies and 5 seasons of fighting postpartum rage and anxiety and then the guilt of feeling like wanting to get out of my skin and running away - this book has it. I finally feel seen and given tools that will help me in my parenting journey.

I recommend this book to all moms. It is a breath of fresh air ♥️

[Keri · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wow this is a hard one to rate. Such a mixed bag for me... Let's start with the positives:
1) It's well-written, relatable, and easy to read. I get the hype.
2) Chapters 1-3 and most of chapters 6-end were fantastic gospel truth mixed with practical, life-in-a-fallen-world parenting wisdom.
3) I especially loved the teaching on how the title of the book is a misguided statement to begin with! Our sin and brokenness does and will continue to harm our children... But that harm is not irredeemable, nor does it have the power to ruin them — and we have hope for true, lasting change in Christ's love, grace, and forgiveness. SO GOOD.
4) Idols of the heart chapter especially was PHENOMENAL - seeing past the behavior to the heart desire behind it. Excellent and sound.

Okay on to the less positive....
1) Especially in chapters 4-5 and occasionally throughout the rest of the book, she leaves the safe, grounded teachings of God's Word and ventures into popular psychology, using terms that while might not necessarily be wrong, are by no means timeless and at bare minimum unhelpful in viewing our brokenness and sinfulness through a biblical lens.
2) She isn't very clear, especially in the early chapters, that your past experiences only help explain, not excuse, your temptations in parenting. I.e. When I sin against my kids, I shouldn't feel shame / too badly about it because of how I was sinned against in the past. YIKES. Helps explain, yes. Excuses or limits my responsibility, absolutely not. I think she was trying to say this, but it definitely wasn't clear, to me.
3) It seemed like she contradicted herself at times... Seemingly saying at one point our only hope is repentance and forgiveness found in Christ, while also seemingly saying we have to "heal our inner child" and "practice self-forgiveness" and "self-hug" and "fully process my traumas" (which she seems to define pretty broadly as anything unexpected or upsetting) in order to experience lasting change. I don't think it's by accident that the chapters that quoted the least Scripture were the most confusing and contradicting.
4) I think some readers could take her teaching, especially in the early chapters and use them as an excuse not to serve others, to abandon church life or other loving commitments, and to live very self-focused lives so as to "live within my nervous system's tolerance level." I get what she's trying to say... that it takes humility to acknowledge our humanity and limits that come with it. But it was said in such a way that might easily encourage misapplication. I shouldn't only serve in ways that don't tax my nervous system. However I can be aware of increased temptation when my limits are pressed (or exceeded) and seek our godly counsel (including my husband's if I'm married) on how best to wisely honor my commitments and meeting the needs of others, even when it's uncomfortable, while acknowledging my weaknesses. I don't think that balance was clearly presented, especially in those early chapters.
•
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In summary, much of this was encouraging and excellent. But it was so mixed in with changing popular psychology terms and unclear solutions, I'm not sure I could recommend it. Sad, because some of it was top notch excellent.

[Ashley Payne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such good gospel truths for the mom who desires to raise her kids in a Christlike way, but is discouraged by her sin and shortcomings.
I've read motherhood books where the gospel and the motherhood advice were two different sections, i.e. "Chapter 1: Creation, Fall, Redemption, Restoration. Chapter 2: Motherhood Advice". This book seamlessly weaves the two together, in a way that makes it accessible to take and apply the gospel to my parenting every day.
I listened to the audiobook in spurts during nursing sessions, so I want to reread the physical copy at some point as well to give it more of my focused attention.
Highly recommend!

[Abby Haley · Rating 5 out of 5]

“As much as your good work and efforts in motherhood matter, they are not ultimate. God is able. He will accomplish his purposes in your children’s lives no matter what.”

This book is truly a must read for any Christian mom who is fighting to believe that she’s up for the task of motherhood (hello…me). Resting in God’s grace myself is essential before I can extend grace to others, and Abbey did an amazing job of articulating how to do that in the context of motherhood. I’m even more aware of and grateful for God’s sovereignty in the lives of my children after reading this.

[Elle Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my favorite Christian / mom books I’ve read to date. For sure a book I would recommend and gift to other moms.

I don’t often binge read Christian books, but as I was nearing the end I couldn’t put this one down. I have many dog-eared pages and this will be a book in my collection I will reference back to again.

[Rachael Murley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Would recommend this to any mom! Loved both the wisdom she offers around parenting that’s covered in scripture and practical action steps to consider. Applicable to big and small failures and trials we experience as moms. Deeply appreciate the authors willingness to be vulnerable about both about her sin and the sufferings she has experienced as a mom

[Becky Carney · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW! What a powerful book. I could say so many things about it but highly recommend people read it during your parenting years. I’ve already gifted it to many people.

[Taylor Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

So good. So needed. Thank you, Abbey
Wedgeworth!!

[Taliah Kendrick]

This is a gospel-centered book, consistently pointing you back to Christ while also taking a holistic approach to motherhood. Abbey also shares vulnerably about the struggles she experiences in motherhood in a way that feels both honest and hopeful.

I loved how it weaves in spiritual disciplines while also offering practical tips and refrains you can come back to in the middle of everyday life. It’s the kind of book you can return to again and again. I would recommend to any mom!

There are discussion questions at the end, perfect for a book club!

To note: In chapter 7, the phrase “loony bin” is used which can feel sensitive for some readers who have needed more intensive mental health care.🫶🏽

[Ruthie Kellar · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had no doubts this book would be incredibly encouraging and practical, but the last few chapters on practicing repair and trusting the Lord with your kids….😲 actually life changing. So so so thankful for Abbey and her faithfulness to share with the world the wisdom the Lord has given her-will be recommending and buying for literally every mom I know, regardless of where she is in her mothering journey-toddlers or adult children. 1000000/10 extra shiny stars for this book!!!!!

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I could articulate more clearly how I feel about this book. I truly do not believe I’ve ever read a parenting book that so equally marries practical help with the truth of the gospel. I cried more than once because of the beauty of that truth and the encouragement it was to me. Highly recommended. I’m sure I will revisit in the future.

[Brittany McDaniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I appreciated so much about this book. Each chapter stands alone, and I’m especially grateful that there was a chapter dedicated to looking beneath the “surface”. This is something that seems to be missing from a lot of parenting books I’ve read. Abbey did a wonderful job expounding on how psychology and physiology intertwine with spirituality, as we are mind, body, and soul. She never wavered on the truth of the Gospel, nor did she encourage “pity parties” or self-focus.

I have referenced this book several times in recent convos! The practical applications at the end of each chapter are easy reference points for the chapter as a whole. It also has questions for each chapter built into the back, which will be nice for group discussions.

Thankful for Abbey’s work here. To God be the glory!

[Taylor Douthit · Rating 5 out of 5]

Underlined sooo much in this book. She has such a solid knowledge of God’s Word, but also seems to have a strong background in counseling? I loved it.

Cried at this part:

“Even if you despise your weakness, being robbed of your feeling of strength and wisdom can actually be a gift to your parenting. The irony is that the very thing we fear is running our kids is potentially one of our greatest gifts to them because it leads us to parent from a place of weakness, humility, and dependence on God.”

[Elise Powell · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books on living out gospel motherhood - pointing you to the truth of Scripture over and over again. Now to apply it!

"Parenting isn't about results; it's about faithfulness... How beautifully freeing it is to see that God grows fruitful bushes from pooped out seeds... As much as your good work and efforts in motherhood matter, they are not ultimate. God is able. He will accomplish his purposes in your children's lives, no matter what."

"The Lord is my help! I'm filled with hope for my kids."

[Shaina Perkkio · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easiest five stars. If you’re looking for a grace and truth filled book about how the gospel can impact your motherhood and also brings physical and mental regulation into the conversation, please pick this book up.

[Rachel Horn · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 million stars
Hands down the best book on motherhood I’ve read to date. I have an alarm set on Amazon so the next time they re on sale I’m buying a box of them to pass out to friends. I love her discussions on mental health and ultimately that God is doing his work in us and through us and in our children. So much goodness.

[Laurel West · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a solid, Gospel-centered encouragement to moms that offered both practical suggestions and offered grace without being permissive.

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most helpful books on parenting/motherhood that I’ve ever read. I feel encouraged and also challenged. Every mom could benefit from this book!

[Brianna Dreyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can’t rave about this book enough. This is truly the best “motherhood” book I have read- but really it is more about trusting the Lord with our growth and walking in daily dependence on Him, just happens to be within the context of motherhood. There are multiple times that she explained a truth that I have struggled to understand so simply and clearly it was laughable. Can’t recommend this book more

[Dani Wilkerson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mostly so biblical and theologically strong, with lots of fantastic suggestions for rhythms and routines to help develop in ourselves and our kids a quick recognition and repentance of sin. Overall, extremely helpful, and I'd like to get a physical copy to mark up and read again.

I would recommend this one with the caveat: one entire chapter is get to the root of and process past traumas. Yes, we are embodied beings, and yes, there are physical steps we can try to take (like nourishment, sleep, movement). But, while being aware of physical triggers and past hurts can be helpful, and learning regulating practices can be tools in the toolbox, they are not imperatives in order to grow in the fruits of the Spirit in motherhood or any other area of life. God is sovereign and He can bring godly growth and change even in situations where nervous system dysregulation is the norm, without having to identify and attach the responses to a past trauma. I did appreciate that the author identified that even in trauma situations, identifying sin as sin and repenting of it is necessary.