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No Contact: Writers on Estrangement
“A landmark work around a theme so prominent—and yet so thoroughly ignored—in modern life.” —Ocean Vuong
A poignant and galvanizing anthology that illuminates the realities and nuances of family estrangement, with pieces by Stephanie Foo, Nick Flynn, Deesha Philyaw, Cheryl Strayed, and others
Estrangement presents an essential existential who are we without our family? What kind of person cuts the proverbial umbilical cord and why? And who do we become, once untethered from our kin?
Families fall apart and individuals cut ties for myriad reasons—abuse, politics, mental illness, and addiction, among others—and reunification often is not in the cards. Estrangement can be a positive change, as Emi Nietfeld explains in her essay about finding relief and logic after cutting off her mother. It can be a noam keim rebuilds their sense of self by learning Arabic in their ancestral homeland of Morocco, while Nicole Graev Lipson searches for answers in literature and motherhood after her brother ghosts her. Other writers explore how estrangement complicates life’s big shifts—Domenica Ruta traces the repercussions of severing ties while battling cancer; Hannah Bae reels from the prospect of cultural alienation when she cuts off her Korean parents; and after twenty years of separation, Soni Brown reluctantly becomes her mother’s caretaker as dementia erases her memory.
Through thirty-two intimate, first-person accounts, No Contact counters the prevalent trope of reconciliation as a happy ending, focusing instead on the complex grief, healing, and authenticity found in the rupture from family.
Featuring work by Hannah Bae, Eben E. B. Bein, Soni Brown, Lorne Daniel, Lindsey Danis, Michelle Dowd, Nick Flynn, Stephanie Foo, Gabriela Denise Frank, Susan Ito, Danielle Jernigan, noam keim, Erika Krouse, Monique Laban, Cassandra Lewis, Kate Lewis, Nicole Graev Lipson, Tiffany Aldrich MacBain, Jamal Mahjoub, Onita Morgan-Edwards, Emi Nietfeld, Geneva Phillips, Deesha Philyaw, Anna Qu, Domenica Ruta, Oslyn Serratos, Alyson Shelton, Cheryl Strayed, Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore, Raksha Vasudevan, Jane Wong, and Kristen Millares Young.
A poignant and galvanizing anthology that illuminates the realities and nuances of family estrangement, with pieces by Stephanie Foo, Nick Flynn, Deesha Philyaw, Cheryl Strayed, and others
Estrangement presents an essential existential who are we without our family? What kind of person cuts the proverbial umbilical cord and why? And who do we become, once untethered from our kin?
Families fall apart and individuals cut ties for myriad reasons—abuse, politics, mental illness, and addiction, among others—and reunification often is not in the cards. Estrangement can be a positive change, as Emi Nietfeld explains in her essay about finding relief and logic after cutting off her mother. It can be a noam keim rebuilds their sense of self by learning Arabic in their ancestral homeland of Morocco, while Nicole Graev Lipson searches for answers in literature and motherhood after her brother ghosts her. Other writers explore how estrangement complicates life’s big shifts—Domenica Ruta traces the repercussions of severing ties while battling cancer; Hannah Bae reels from the prospect of cultural alienation when she cuts off her Korean parents; and after twenty years of separation, Soni Brown reluctantly becomes her mother’s caretaker as dementia erases her memory.
Through thirty-two intimate, first-person accounts, No Contact counters the prevalent trope of reconciliation as a happy ending, focusing instead on the complex grief, healing, and authenticity found in the rupture from family.
Featuring work by Hannah Bae, Eben E. B. Bein, Soni Brown, Lorne Daniel, Lindsey Danis, Michelle Dowd, Nick Flynn, Stephanie Foo, Gabriela Denise Frank, Susan Ito, Danielle Jernigan, noam keim, Erika Krouse, Monique Laban, Cassandra Lewis, Kate Lewis, Nicole Graev Lipson, Tiffany Aldrich MacBain, Jamal Mahjoub, Onita Morgan-Edwards, Emi Nietfeld, Geneva Phillips, Deesha Philyaw, Anna Qu, Domenica Ruta, Oslyn Serratos, Alyson Shelton, Cheryl Strayed, Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore, Raksha Vasudevan, Jane Wong, and Kristen Millares Young.
304 pages, Paperback
Published April 28, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
July 19, 2026
Deeply necessary read for persons who are currently going no contact with family and friends to let them know they are not alone.
I thoroughly enjoyed this collection of essays about writers on estrangement and going no contact with people who are important to them. I love how each essay was written with so much heart, vulnerability and love.
If you are considering no contact I highly recommend reading this.
I thoroughly enjoyed this collection of essays about writers on estrangement and going no contact with people who are important to them. I love how each essay was written with so much heart, vulnerability and love.
If you are considering no contact I highly recommend reading this.
May 13, 2026
This book really helped me understand and sort out my feelings, being an adult daughter of a narcissist mother. Setting emotional boundaries and self-protection is crucial. Thank you.
May 9, 2026
“And more than any grief or resentment, that reminds me of why I won’t—can’t—return to them. Distance is the only way I know to preserve that tenderness. The only way, too, to protect the self I see in that photo, her bright eyes, her open, unafraid face. Estrangement is the only way to keep from becoming a stranger to myself.” – Raksha Wasudevan, “The Many Meanings of Family Estrangement”
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the eARC! This book was published in the US by Catapult on April 28th, 2026.
Jenny Bartoy opens No Contact by describing estrangement as “both an orphaning and metamorphosis,” and that framing lingers over the entire collection. These essays understand estrangement not as a singular act of rejection, but as a slow and devastating reshaping of the self. Across memoir, cultural criticism, and deeply intimate reflection, the contributors write about the grief, guilt, relief, shame, loneliness, and strange freedom that can come from severing ties with family. What emerges is not a defense of estrangement so much as an insistence that survival sometimes requires it.
This anthology feels especially urgent because it pushes back against the cultural myth that reconciliation is always the healthiest or most morally righteous ending. Again and again, these writers reveal the impossible expectations placed on estranged people, especially survivors of abuse. Alyson Shelton writes powerfully about how staying in abusive family systems would render her invisible, while Emi Nietfeld explores the painful process of relinquishing the fantasy that an abusive parent might someday change. Domenica Ruta’s essay was one of my favorites for the way it names the “collateral damage” of estrangement and illuminates how conditional love can hollow out entire family systems. Raksha Vasudevan and noam keim also stood out to me for how they connect estrangement to migration, ancestry, language, and cultural belonging, revealing how family rupture can reverberate through identity itself.
“The stories featured in these pages show that in estrangement, we may lose family, but we can also find ourselves anew—stronger and whole.” – Jenny Bartoy, Introduction
The prose throughout the collection is intimate, lucid, and emotionally exacting. Many of these essays pair sharp social critique with lyrical reflections on memory and embodiment, giving estrangement a language expansive enough to hold contradiction. The contributors understand that it is possible to miss someone deeply and still know reconciliation would destroy you.
As someone who has been estranged from my mother for almost a decade, this collection felt quietly revolutionary. When I first went no contact, I didn’t even have language for what I was experiencing. I only knew I was surviving something people preferred not to name. No Contact offers that language with immense care. More importantly, it offers community. Bartoy has assembled a beautifully diverse, deeply compassionate anthology that refuses to flatten estrangement into cruelty or failure. Instead, these essays ask what becomes possible when we stop forcing people to remain inside systems that harm them. Thank you to these writers and, above all, thank you, Jenny. We can and will survive.
“I know now, with absolute certainty, that I deserve a life without terror. It was him or me. And I chose me. I no longer live in fear of the floodwaters of his abuse. In this world I fashioned from my choices, I am sometimes at sea. But I am the vessel, the ocean, and the weather.” – Alyson Shelton, “Blood Is Thicker Than Water”
Content Note: Please note that there is a detailed description of sexual assault at approximately 27% in the essay “Prodigal Daughter” by Michelle Dowd.
📖 Read this if you love: intimate essay collections about family rupture and survival; emotionally honest memoirs about abuse, healing, and identity; or trauma-informed narratives about breaking cycles, reclaiming selfhood, and surviving harmful family systems.
🔑 Key Themes: Estrangement and Going No Contact, Abuse and Survival, Family Systems and Scapegoating, Cultural Expectations and Family Loyalty, Cycles of Trauma and Healing, Self-Preservation and Autonomy, Breaking the Cycle.
Content / Trigger Warnings: Child Abuse (severe), Mental Illness (severe), Sexual Assault (severe), Panic Attacks (severe), Death of Parent (severe), Drug Abuse (moderate), Emotional Abuse (moderate), Cancer (moderate), Suicidal Thoughts (moderate), Alcoholism (moderate), Alcohol (moderate), Cults (moderate), Drug Use (minor), Physical Abuse (minor), Domestic Abuse (minor), Vomit (minor), Pandemic (minor), Abandonment (minor), Pedophilia (minor), Blood (minor), Medical Content (minor), Incest (minor), Gun Violence (minor), Ableism (minor), Suicide Attempt (minor).
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the eARC! This book was published in the US by Catapult on April 28th, 2026.
Jenny Bartoy opens No Contact by describing estrangement as “both an orphaning and metamorphosis,” and that framing lingers over the entire collection. These essays understand estrangement not as a singular act of rejection, but as a slow and devastating reshaping of the self. Across memoir, cultural criticism, and deeply intimate reflection, the contributors write about the grief, guilt, relief, shame, loneliness, and strange freedom that can come from severing ties with family. What emerges is not a defense of estrangement so much as an insistence that survival sometimes requires it.
This anthology feels especially urgent because it pushes back against the cultural myth that reconciliation is always the healthiest or most morally righteous ending. Again and again, these writers reveal the impossible expectations placed on estranged people, especially survivors of abuse. Alyson Shelton writes powerfully about how staying in abusive family systems would render her invisible, while Emi Nietfeld explores the painful process of relinquishing the fantasy that an abusive parent might someday change. Domenica Ruta’s essay was one of my favorites for the way it names the “collateral damage” of estrangement and illuminates how conditional love can hollow out entire family systems. Raksha Vasudevan and noam keim also stood out to me for how they connect estrangement to migration, ancestry, language, and cultural belonging, revealing how family rupture can reverberate through identity itself.
“The stories featured in these pages show that in estrangement, we may lose family, but we can also find ourselves anew—stronger and whole.” – Jenny Bartoy, Introduction
The prose throughout the collection is intimate, lucid, and emotionally exacting. Many of these essays pair sharp social critique with lyrical reflections on memory and embodiment, giving estrangement a language expansive enough to hold contradiction. The contributors understand that it is possible to miss someone deeply and still know reconciliation would destroy you.
As someone who has been estranged from my mother for almost a decade, this collection felt quietly revolutionary. When I first went no contact, I didn’t even have language for what I was experiencing. I only knew I was surviving something people preferred not to name. No Contact offers that language with immense care. More importantly, it offers community. Bartoy has assembled a beautifully diverse, deeply compassionate anthology that refuses to flatten estrangement into cruelty or failure. Instead, these essays ask what becomes possible when we stop forcing people to remain inside systems that harm them. Thank you to these writers and, above all, thank you, Jenny. We can and will survive.
“I know now, with absolute certainty, that I deserve a life without terror. It was him or me. And I chose me. I no longer live in fear of the floodwaters of his abuse. In this world I fashioned from my choices, I am sometimes at sea. But I am the vessel, the ocean, and the weather.” – Alyson Shelton, “Blood Is Thicker Than Water”
Content Note: Please note that there is a detailed description of sexual assault at approximately 27% in the essay “Prodigal Daughter” by Michelle Dowd.
📖 Read this if you love: intimate essay collections about family rupture and survival; emotionally honest memoirs about abuse, healing, and identity; or trauma-informed narratives about breaking cycles, reclaiming selfhood, and surviving harmful family systems.
🔑 Key Themes: Estrangement and Going No Contact, Abuse and Survival, Family Systems and Scapegoating, Cultural Expectations and Family Loyalty, Cycles of Trauma and Healing, Self-Preservation and Autonomy, Breaking the Cycle.
Content / Trigger Warnings: Child Abuse (severe), Mental Illness (severe), Sexual Assault (severe), Panic Attacks (severe), Death of Parent (severe), Drug Abuse (moderate), Emotional Abuse (moderate), Cancer (moderate), Suicidal Thoughts (moderate), Alcoholism (moderate), Alcohol (moderate), Cults (moderate), Drug Use (minor), Physical Abuse (minor), Domestic Abuse (minor), Vomit (minor), Pandemic (minor), Abandonment (minor), Pedophilia (minor), Blood (minor), Medical Content (minor), Incest (minor), Gun Violence (minor), Ableism (minor), Suicide Attempt (minor).
May 28, 2026
Reading this felt like turning on a bright light in a dark room I didn’t even know I was standing in. Feels perfectly true to life, family and relationships. Compelling and devastating. Will stick with me for a long time.
June 11, 2026
Made me cry more than once.
May 3, 2026
This is a collection of essays & poems from writers who are estranged (low or no contact) from members of their family. It's also a rollercoaster of emotions and a veritable tapestry of diverse experiences with estrangement across race, nationality, genders, age, religion, and cultures.
As someone who is estranged from my some people in my family, this was a TOUGH read, but very necessary & worth seeing my experience given space to breathe.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
As someone who is estranged from my some people in my family, this was a TOUGH read, but very necessary & worth seeing my experience given space to breathe.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
March 26, 2026
There are a myriad of reasons one chooses to go "no contact"-- cut all ties-- with family or loved ones, and it's not a decision made lightly. This anthology includes many walks of life and the ways these writers cope with this particular loss and the ache that comes with it. No Contact also serves as comfort to the heart; a reminder to readers that they aren't alone with this pain.
June 1, 2026
MEMOIRING BOOK CLUB PICK, MAY 2026. I’ve been looking forward to this collection for a long time and it did not disappoint. Many of the contributing writers have written significantly about the topic of estrangement in their own memoirs, like Stephanie Foo, Domenica Ruta, Emi Nietfeld, and Michelle Dowd. One of the things the anthology does really well is demonstrate the nuances of estrangement, the relief and safety it can bring, that it is sometimes the only solution to a dangerous relationship. There are a lot of estrangement myths in circulation in the current discourse and this book tackles them one by one, essay by essay—not polemically, but like a great personal essay does. Allowing you to see yourself there or learn something through someone else's experience. A Cornell University survey said that almost 30% of Americans are estranged. This isn’t a niche subject and yet it’s really treated as one with not a lot of rigorous expertise online. For those looking for a kind of mirror of their own experience, I would highly recommend this collection. The essays are also incredibly well written, even if the topic isn’t one that personally impacts you.
June 23, 2026
A balm for anyone estranged from a family member. Like an inverse chicken soup anthology, the essays in this book do not have neat, happy, sweet endings. The stories the writers tell are not inspirational or entertaining. But each piece of writing lays a tile in a mosaic that says, “You are not alone.”
June 2, 2026
I wish this book didn’t resonate with me so deeply, but here we are. I enjoyed some of these essays more than others, and some were very hard to read only because they were so heartbreaking. But they all hit on a truth that I think everyone who’s ever drawn a line between themselves and familial chaos will understand—that at a certain point, you have to choose yourself, and you don’t owe anyone an apology for that.
July 9, 2026
stumbled upon this at my library, was the book I didn’t know I needed. validating for anyone who has struggled with estrangement.
August 17, 2026
Raw, Human, and Disturbingly Familiar
I finished NO CONTACT last month, before my older daughter’s wedding in Maine and before a difficult reunion with my aging parents. I can’t stop thinking about it.
Edited by Jenny Bartoy, this amazing collection brings together essays by established and emerging writers, each writing with raw humanity about their experience of family estrangement.
This book spoke to me about the countless ways we experience strain, rupture, and estrangement in our closest relationships—and the challenge to make meaning of it. Reading these stories made me feel less alone.
If you haven’t read NO CONTACT yet, I highly recommend it!
I finished NO CONTACT last month, before my older daughter’s wedding in Maine and before a difficult reunion with my aging parents. I can’t stop thinking about it.
Edited by Jenny Bartoy, this amazing collection brings together essays by established and emerging writers, each writing with raw humanity about their experience of family estrangement.
This book spoke to me about the countless ways we experience strain, rupture, and estrangement in our closest relationships—and the challenge to make meaning of it. Reading these stories made me feel less alone.
If you haven’t read NO CONTACT yet, I highly recommend it!
May 25, 2026
I picked up this book to better understand some of my family history. I finished it within a week, and found it to be a deep emotional journey. These essays are not always easy, the authors do not pull punches. Through telling their stories, the writers invite us into their wounds. Be ready, do not pick up this book lightly. If you do pick it up, be ready to also open up and face the many ways estrangement is present in our relationship and within ourselves.
July 1, 2026
Very grateful that the author wrote this and gave voice to the isolating and confusing feelings of estrangement. I particularly enjoyed that she included so many stories of various levels, types, and reasons for estrangement. Estrangement is incredibly nuanced and practically impossible to talk about with other people. I really resonated with so much of this, and it helps to realize that I'm not alone, and what my path forward could look like.
October 1, 2026
This was an incredibly difficult read, but I blazed right through this remarkable and edifying anthology of essays. SO MUCH resonated. For those lucky enough to not know estrangement, the assumption is often that whoever walked away must be the one who failed. Not so. Here, estrangement is recognized as a form of grief, represented so painfully/accurately in diverse essays covering absent fathers, abandonment, trauma, and the slow work of building a self outside one’s family of origin. No one is excused; no one is a villain. We are not alone in our choices or in our losses.
July 3, 2026
Family estrangement is a topic that is often shrouded in shame and silence. The authors and editor are brave in their ability to not only address it, but to explore it, head on with honesty and vulnerability. The essays are a great variety, consisting of authors who initiated, estrangement and other others who are on the other end of it. A few of the stories also address, the impact of race, culture, and gender, which is refreshing to see.
October 15, 2026
A beautiful anthology exploring all sides of estrangement. Estrangement is a phenomenon that happens to so many families and yet is so rarely talked about. Whether you chose to be estranged from a family member, or you are on the receiving end of it, there are essays and poems here that will speak to you.
October 20, 2026
Some bangers, and some that weren’t too relatable.
Still, for a girlie who is no contact with her family, this certainly covers the range of emotions, and it is a reminder that we are neither alone, nor isolated in our lived experiences. Great read, and there are definitely some authors I want to look further into.
Still, for a girlie who is no contact with her family, this certainly covers the range of emotions, and it is a reminder that we are neither alone, nor isolated in our lived experiences. Great read, and there are definitely some authors I want to look further into.
June 26, 2026
Damn. This book expresses the incredibly complex and nuanced experience of estrangement. So helpful for those going through it and trying to sort out their emotions.
August 23, 2026
A collection of essays from various writers, many of whom I'd like to read more. A very powerful book. I wish I'd had the courage to do what these writers did. And I hope that my oldest son doesn't put himself into this place with me. (I'm efforting).
June 21, 2026
For anyone that has found themselves estranged from someone that was supposed to love them unconditionally, this might be of some help to you.
June 11, 2026
32 noted authors (mainly female) of essays dealing with estrangement. These first-person accounts of ruptured families supports the need for distance without reconciliation, noting the circumstances that led to that finality. Tiffany MacBain's (UPS Professor) and Cheryl Strayed's (author of Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail) essays stand out for their candor and conclusion. Brief bios of all authors included.
May 4, 2026
This book is deeply moving and thought provoking. It shares 32-first person accounts of estrangement (full and partial) between many kinds of family members. It hits on the diverse whys but does not get stuck there, letting each writer share what they see as important about their experience. I will be thinking about this one for a long time. There are no simple answers in family.
September 4, 2026
Skipped around a couple of the chapters. I appreciate that each chapter had a different author but also that is also what made me rate it a 3. It was hard to feel a cohesive through line reading the book. It was more of a collection of short stories written by different people. I felt bored reading it.
July 21, 2026
Very hard but good read. There is so much nuance and pain with family estrangement, no matter the relational configuration or reason for going no contact. It is healing to hear others' stories, to see myself in these pages.
June 26, 2026
3 is like normal
July 9, 2026
thought this would be more reflections on estrangement, after the fact, the collateral damage, and a few of the essays touched on this, but mostly they were more like memoirs of trauma.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
The first of its kind, this anthology about estrangement has been much needed. The way Jenny Bartoy weaves the stories of these authors together is like how a director unites voices within a choir. It is a steady voice against the dangerous myth that "estrangement is a trend." This book is insightful and essential to destigmatizing estrangement. As someone who has been estranged for 13 years, I've needed this book my whole life. I'm so grateful it exists.
Note: I received an ARC in order to conduct an interview with Jenny Bartoy for The Rumpus. I was happy when my pre-ordered copy arrived later in the year.
Note: I received an ARC in order to conduct an interview with Jenny Bartoy for The Rumpus. I was happy when my pre-ordered copy arrived later in the year.
August 1, 2026
3.65**
Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews