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All This Has Nothing to Do with Me

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When journalist 'MS' interviews the mysterious 'XX' for a job at her magazine, she hires him straight away - because he's gorgeous.

As one date leads to another, her obsession spirals. MS finds herself writing letters to Facebook (to see if XX can tell how many times she views his page), to her phone company (can they delete messages she regrets sending?) and to XX's favourite author (who is dead), whilst the object of her affection remains aloof, a moodily seductive Vespa-riding urbanite.

All This Has Nothing To Do With Me is an exposé of a broken heart. With full access to MS's photos, diary extracts and emails, it documents MS and XX's relationship from jubilant start to painful finish, and lays out her life - and past - for our scrutiny.

Highly original, extremely funny, and darkly moving, this is an unputdownable glimpse into the depths of one woman's psyche.

151 pages, Hardcover

First published September 4, 2013

12 people are currently reading
933 people want to read

About the author

Monica Sabolo

16 books16 followers

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5 stars
41 (8%)
4 stars
93 (18%)
3 stars
192 (38%)
2 stars
122 (24%)
1 star
51 (10%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 75 reviews
Profile Image for Carlie K.
145 reviews78 followers
January 21, 2016
3.75 stars.
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This review is originally posted on The Bookish Girl
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You can get the book from Book Depository
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"The loved one is seemingly Earth's representative. In fact, this representative seems to be the bearer of en enigma: just a few words, gestures, even his simple presence in the world raises awareness of an incredible secret."


After the job interview with XX, MS hires and falls for him immediately. And when a crush becomes an obsession, MS is blinded by love and hypnotized by XX. This is a heartfelt record of her experience of falling in love, going through heartbreaks and falling out of love.

What I love the most about this book is how sincere and raw and relatable it is. With all the text messages, emails, pictures, family stories, I can feel that the author has poured her heart out. I wonder how much courage she has in order to look back at this tragic love and put it into words. I sincerely admire her for that.

The fast pace of the book echoes with the idea that "love begins at a blink of an eye and ends even quicker". The author also makes different interesting analogies to help explain her views on "pathological love". They are all very artistic ways to illustrate her ideas.

To conclude, this is a heartbreaking record that one can easily relate to. It is also a written art, but sometimes it can be a bit fractured and hence raises confusion.


"The loving one, who forges ahead with all this as if chasing the shadow of Grace, is painfully impatient to gain access to this secret, which naturally will never be revealed to her. This quest may not open the door of another world to her, but at least it has the virtue of keeping her bust and diverting her attention from real problems."
Profile Image for Blair.
2,037 reviews5,858 followers
June 7, 2015
An odd one, this. I went into it basically expecting chick-lit - albeit a slightly superior form of chick-lit, by virtue of it being translated from French. However, it takes some rather grim turns, and the title - which I, at first, took as flippant and funny - ends up having a certain dark significance, especially if (as everything implies) the story is autobiographical.

It starts as the story of a female journalist, 'MS', becoming obsessed with a new colleague, 'XX', who she hires because of his looks and proceeds to pursue rather ruthlessly. The two have a fling, throughout which it's clear that XX's feelings for MS are far from equal to hers for him. Ultimately, he breaks it off, and MS is left in a distraught state, picking over the bones of their relationship by cataloguing 'evidence' such as emails, texts, letters, and photos of objects he left behind or mementoes of their dates (there are lots of lighters). This part of the book includes some very daft, implausible touches, such as MS writing letters to Facebook to determine whether XX can tell that she's constantly checking his profile.

But alongside this, the backstory of MS's family is told. At first comparatively dry, these chapters build to a disturbing revelation. This is surprising in the context of the light and silly earlier half of the novel, but it also makes some sense of MS's neediness and obsessive behaviour towards XX. However, the book is too slight to really examine it, and just comes to a stop soon after this point. The overall effect is an uneven work, with not one but two stories left feeling frustratingly unfinished.
Profile Image for Olivera.
Author 4 books375 followers
April 11, 2020
REREAD - JANUARY 2020

Well, it's been a while since I've first read this book and I suppose that rereading it really was a good decision. Four years later and it resonated with me so much more than it did back then. I don't think this book is for everyone and I'm pretty sure the format might even be off-putting for a majority of people. But, that being said, if you've ever been in an obsessive and unrequited relationship, this book might just be the thing that helps you feel...seen? Or at least a little bit less lonely, whilst also making you think about what it is that got you there in the first place.

Idk man. It's weird, but somehow it's very dear to my heart. I'm glad I went back to it after having been through a few life experiences whilst also finally landing in a healthy and loving place.

FIRST READ - SEPTEMBER 2016

Saying that this book was peculiar might even be an understatement. I have the feeling that I need to read this again asap just to be sure I got what it actually was about. I also don't think I can rate it before a reread.
Profile Image for jessica.
498 reviews
August 28, 2017
'All This Has Nothing To Do With Me' is a mixed media novella that looks at how an unstable childhood effects a young woman's future relationships, and how she ends up mirroring her mother in the way she forms unhealthy attachments and relies on men that aren't good for her.

I ended up picking this up today for a quick read in honour of women in translation month, and I really wasn't expecting to like as much as I did. That's always a nice surprise!

Anyway, I feel like this is marketed more of a chick-lit type novel, where the photographs included and the text taking the form of text messages and emails etc, could be seen as quite throwaway or gimmicky - but for me it really worked.

I got notes of 'Fates and Furies' whilst reading this, and as I loved that book and find myself thinking of it often, that's certainly a huge compliment. A lot deeper that I expected to give it credit for, I can easily see how this innovative book won France's Prix de Flore in 2013.
Profile Image for s a t u r d a y   r e a d .
35 reviews41 followers
July 15, 2023
In this book we see the painful -and sometimes pointless- process of dealing with unreturned love. Instead of reading her feelings,the pictures and emails made me feel like I was the one with the broken heart, having MS life.
The reason I loved this book is because of the roller-coaster feelings that gave me. I laughed and got embarraDSC_1643ssed reading about the things she does or how she responses to XX, not to mention that her diary extracts reminded of my own diary when I was a teenager -but I guess that what MS is. I also cried in the end and felt relieved.
For me, this book isn’t anything like I’ve read before and it was hard to put down. It’s not the kind of book that tries to charm you from the first page and I’m not sure it’s for everyone but if I think it’s worth it.
Profile Image for Eloise Mcallister.
116 reviews
December 5, 2017
Dragged my feet through this very short book full of pictures. Never again will I trust a Waterstones review card that says ‘coolest book ever!’...I deserved my punishment
Profile Image for Pearl Boshomane.
12 reviews3 followers
April 23, 2015
Getting your heart broken sucks. We all know this. You don’t need me to tell you about it.
But there’s something much worse about love that’s not returned. No matter how confident you are, its sting brings with it self-doubt, endless negative introspection. Were you too pushy? Not pushy enough? Was your personality too much? Either way, the unloved one looks inward for the cause of the problem.
In her debut book, Monica Sabolo documents this painful (and pointless) process quite beautifully. Most of the book is written as an epistolary novel: mainly emails the protagonist (‘MS’, as she’s identified) sends to someone we don’t know, as well as texts between MS and the unwilling object of her affection, identified only as XX.
Other parts of the book supply backstory: MS tells us about her mother’s bad decisions, starting with a charming Italian jerk, MS’s father, whom she later encounters as an adult. She also recounts her early experiences with the opposite sex, from the seven-year-old boy in red swimming trunks that she met on holiday as a six-year-old to her relationship with her stepfather.
Its pages peppered with images of scooters, lighters and cigarette butts, All This Has Nothing To Do With Me is a little hard to get into at first. It’s not the kind of book that tries to charm from the first page. “The first section of our analysis will focus upon the pathological phenomenon ‘blind love’” is hardly the most captivating opening line in the history of literature. If you stick it out past the first 20 pages, though, you’ll find that it’s worth the effort.
What makes this book work as a raw dissection of heartbreak is Sabolo’s writing: distant, often unemotional, observational and witty. MS is the guinea pig in her own lab. It’s hard not to cringe when reading her letter to Facebook, asking them if they are able to provide information on who’s been viewing her profile (because she obviously wants to see if XX has been stalking her page).
Unrequited love is so consuming that the quest to win someone over becomes an obsession, followed by a second obsession on why you couldn’t. Obsessions captured painfully and perfectly by this strange little book.
Profile Image for Emily.
132 reviews7 followers
September 8, 2018
It takes so much for me to give a book a measly 1 star review but I really didn’t like it.
I don’t even know how to explain this book if someone were to ask me what it was about! What is up with that!!!

Would not recommend
Profile Image for Chelsy Pillay.
22 reviews
January 4, 2023
I absolutely loved this book . My new favourite book ,i think it’s amazing and well written it really gives you a new perspective on issues you often overlook . Would definitely recommend:)
Profile Image for kory..
1,266 reviews130 followers
March 6, 2023
what did i just read. super weird and not in the fun way. the format is cool though

content/trigger warnings; ableism, mental illness, obsession, stalking, racism, fatphobia, alcohol consumption, sex, abandonment, unhealthy relationships,
Profile Image for Leslivresdedune.
189 reviews
December 19, 2017
J'avais juste besoin de ce livre. Maintenant.
Il est rare que des livres fassent à ce point écho à notre vie.
Mais ça a été le cas pour celui-ci. Je l'ai choisi au hasard parce qu'il paraissait que l'auteure était de ma ville.
Il était là et me disait, avec un humour grinçant, des photos à la Sophie Calle, qu'étonnamment que je n'étais pas seule.
J'aurais pu écrire ce livre. Je ne suis pas MS mais je connais XX.
Et peut être qu'au fond, je suis aussi un peu MS.
Peut être que je me suis reconnue dans sa manière d'utiliser le sarcasme pour se protéger, sa manière de rire du pathétique, sa mélancolie, sa tristesse.
J'ai aime ce livre car il a résonné en moi.
J'ai aimé ce livre car j'ai eu l'impression qu'il avait été écris pour moi.
Profile Image for Janine W..
383 reviews3 followers
September 29, 2021
I find it very hard to rate and to describe this novella. It is a multimedia novella, about women’s deranged attitude to men and relationships in general. The writing style is very experimental – and definitely not for every one. I still can’t decide whether I liked it or not. I love all the printed pictures and snippets of things the protagonist collects from the people around her. You kind of have to find out for yourself how distorted she is. Nevertheless, the writing style switches between diary entries to weird - very clinical in tone – descriptions, like “They flirted with the male species and mastered the secrets of protocols (...)” I think this clinical descriptions imply the social detachment the protagonist feels. However, as a reader it is still hard to connect to the protagonist or any other characters … Additionally, the backstory felt completely flat for me … I get tht you need to understand where she has coming from … Nevertheless, to make the back story and family history to be the main focus for the rest of the novel was really annoying. I thought this story would turn into a twisted story about a woman being obsessed with a (former) lover … This novella, however, did not focus on that in the last part of the story … Very disappointing.
Profile Image for Colin.
1,693 reviews1 follower
January 2, 2022
One of those books where you can't quite see why the author is so worked up about it. It's an OK book for post-Christmas brain paralysis. There are lists and pictures and short chapters and it's easy to digest, but I can't really relate.
Profile Image for Jonathan Maas.
Author 31 books368 followers
May 6, 2022
An avant-garde tale with punches of interest

The tale is nouveaux and avant-garde. But every once in a while it's photos or transcripts hits you just right. In any case, I recommend it!

It is a read-in-one-sitting, or read in a few sittings tales, and I recommend it !
Profile Image for Dilek Uzunoğlu.
203 reviews
July 8, 2024
"Bir kişinin sevdiği beş film ve beş kitabı öğrendikten sonra, hakkında kesin olarak her şeyi bildiğini zannetmekte. "
Profile Image for Tedy Garev.
35 reviews
May 26, 2021
Ideal para mejorar tu nivel de alemán. Fresco y juvenil, pero no la típica historia cursi que pensaba encontrar, sorprende sin duda.
Profile Image for Thuong Le.
139 reviews30 followers
June 2, 2015
Eliza from the Bookish Universe did a really nice review on All This Has nothing To Do With Me, which you can view here

To summarise it’s a very personal novella based on the author. The book starts with MS (the author) who meets XX at a job interview and she hires him straightaway because he’s gorgeous (reminds me of that episode in Friends where Rachel hires this guy called Tag because he’s hot, instead of the experienced candidate).

MS and XX start dating and writing messages on Facebook, which is when her obsession with him begins but then it comes crashing down. I found it really odd that she actually wrote a letter to Facebook requesting data on who has been viewing her page. I mean really, no one would bother with that. It just shows how obsessed she was with XX and that ‘love is blind.’

I really don’t have much to say about it. I don’t exactly know what I was expecting from this book because as I carried on reading I was not very invested in the story. I don’t regret reading it because it was a really quick read. It took me three days to read but you can easily read this in a day. It’s not the kind of book that grabs your attention from the first few chapters (in my case, it didn’t grab my attention at all). On the plus side of things, the texts and the pictures included were nice elements to the story because it gave a personal and kind of quirky touch to it.

This is completely irrelevant but I really like the cover (it's a shame I didn’t enjoy the story). I’ve seen that illustration before of a girl holding onto her striped top on Pinterest, which is such a beautiful illustration. You can see it here
Profile Image for tinabel.
298 reviews16 followers
June 21, 2016
A fictional account of complete and utter infatuation, All This Has Nothing To Do With Me by Monica Sabolo tells the story of “MS” (Monica, we later learn) and her (partially) one-sided relationship with a co-worker, referred to only as “XX.”

While on the surface this presents as a rather ordinary tale, it is the form which makes this novel so unique. Rather than a conventional narrative and story arc, we are instead presented with a pastiche of clinical documents, familial history, photographs, and transcripts — text messages, snippets of conversation, excerpts from emails — with which to cobble together and interpret at will. (Wholly post-modern of Sabolo, along with naming the protagonist after herself.)

And though told through the lens of social psychology, it begins almost lightheartedly, an innocent flirtation between two people. However, as the novel progresses — and MS’s actions go from ridiculous and innocuous to downright obsessive — it becomes increasingly clinical and serious in tone, delving into MS’s motivations and past relationships with men (all of them fleeting, leaving her one by one). But while XX seems aloof, annoying, and potentially deplorable, we are only privy to his correspondence with MS and no one else, leaving us without any deep or meaningful insight to his character. But then again, it has nothing to do with him.
Profile Image for Louisecarby.
18 reviews
April 27, 2017
Oh my! This book was fabulous!!!! I can't express enough how wonderfully delightful this book read! The writing style was extremely clever and intelligent. I have never read anything quite like this book and I really wasn't expecting much from it, boy was I wrong! It really is an expose of a broken heart, the book is mainly centered around the relationship with MS and XX however Sabolo also goes in depth with the relationships of her past including with her father and step father and the impact they have had on her romantic and personal life. I couldn't recommend this book enough! Absolutely fantastic!
Profile Image for Sandra Parmee.
19 reviews21 followers
January 14, 2018
Two things grabbed me: one, the title, I found to be very compelling. Two, the fact that is was translated from French.
The blurb sells this book as a light superficial read, but it is not that at all. It is actually deep and unsettling. It is a quick read but stayed in my mind for a long time after.
Profile Image for Kieran Telo.
1,266 reviews29 followers
June 25, 2018
Not much good, but at least it doesn’t last too long.
Profile Image for Mind the Book.
936 reviews70 followers
December 29, 2017
Böcker om besatthet? Gärna! https://www.panmacmillan.com/blog/apr...

Fast den här är inte värd att placeras sida vid sida med de stora verken på listan, trots ett ganska unikt format, t.ex. med bilderna på bevismaterialet för den icke-existerande relationen. I början blev jag så uppspelt över detaljer som kartan över kontorets planlösning, men de freud-doftande kapitlen om släktleden bakåt och deras dysfunktionella relationer irriterade mig. Oskönt o-contemporary var inte vad jag ville ha.
Profile Image for Rebecca.
472 reviews36 followers
April 6, 2018
A fast paced story of mixed media, “All this Has Nothing to Do with Me” is a peculiar story of love and obsession. Lacking a traditional narrative, this book is intriguing but won’t be to everyone’s taste. I liked the story and I enjoyed reading something different, but unfortunately I felt that something was missing. Monica Sabolo’s story gets 3 stars from me.

See more on my blog here: https://whatrebeccasread.wordpress.co...
Profile Image for Gina.
30 reviews2 followers
August 17, 2021
“The things you imagine are much more beautiful than reality, you understand, don’t you?”

This book definitely isn’t for everyone. It’s dark and bizarre, but its formatting is really engaging. I think it perfectly captures the phenomenon of how unreturned feelings can make a person obsess over a relationship that isn’t/wasn’t that great to begin with.
Profile Image for Alma.
23 reviews1 follower
January 10, 2022
It is a short and strange book. I had to read some parts twice as I kept getting a bit lost. It has weird turn of events and I am not sure I like them that much. It left me feeling like this is half of the book but where is the other half? It probably needs to have a bit more character building and background info. It was ok but I won’t be recommending it any time soon.
Profile Image for NoID.
1,568 reviews13 followers
March 21, 2022
Un méli-mélo amoureux un peu mélo, mais plutôt emmêlé. Entre un journal, un blog, un album photo (au rendu malheureusement palot, un peu dégueu), un roman décousu et les archives retrouvées d’un smartphone.



C’est stimulant, mais difficile de s’y accrocher tant les petits riens s’emparent du récit



https://www.noid.ch/tout-cela-na-rien...
5 reviews
November 7, 2017
Very interesting book. Maybe it is my own fault but I think I would have understood about the same even if I had read it in French. The narrator makes NO SENSE 3/4 of the time. Nevertheless, this is a really quick read and is relatable for those nursing a broken heart.
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