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Joyful, Anyway
NATIONAL BESTSELLER New York Times bestselling author and Duke University professor Kate Bowler offers a profound, funny, and deeply human case for joy that doesn’t depend on everything getting better.
“Joyful, Anyway is colorful and layered, unafraid of the occasional gut-punch of raw feeling and vulnerability—much like Kate Bowler herself. She suffers no fools, especially the toxic optimists.”—Jerry Seinfeld
“A book to take you through life’s aftermaths.”—Katherine May, New York Times bestselling author of Wintering
You can’t always be happy, but you can be joyful, anyway.
We live in a culture convinced that chasing happiness will optimize our bodies, our minds, our relationships, our lives. But in the meantime, bad news usually stays illness, chronic pain, grief, and disappointment don’t obey our timelines or vision boards. We are left wondering why, if we’re doing everything right, life still feels so hard.
Honest and bracingly tender, Joyful, Anyway proves that experiencing joy does not depend on resolving everything that makes life difficult. Drawing on a decade of living with serious illness and a lifetime studying America’s obsession with progress, Kate Bowler shows why people so busy chasing happiness miss out on actual joy.
Joy isn’t something you can optimize or manufacture—it finds us at the edge of expectation, when life interrupts our scripts. Joyful, Anyway gives language for the ache we all carry and practices for “putting yourself in the way of joy”: loosening control, introducing novelty, choosing charity, and staying open to the surprising, technicolor moments that pull us back into life.
Joy reminds us that no matter what, life is still worth loving. For every time we ask is this it?, joy will There is more.
“Joyful, Anyway is colorful and layered, unafraid of the occasional gut-punch of raw feeling and vulnerability—much like Kate Bowler herself. She suffers no fools, especially the toxic optimists.”—Jerry Seinfeld
“A book to take you through life’s aftermaths.”—Katherine May, New York Times bestselling author of Wintering
You can’t always be happy, but you can be joyful, anyway.
We live in a culture convinced that chasing happiness will optimize our bodies, our minds, our relationships, our lives. But in the meantime, bad news usually stays illness, chronic pain, grief, and disappointment don’t obey our timelines or vision boards. We are left wondering why, if we’re doing everything right, life still feels so hard.
Honest and bracingly tender, Joyful, Anyway proves that experiencing joy does not depend on resolving everything that makes life difficult. Drawing on a decade of living with serious illness and a lifetime studying America’s obsession with progress, Kate Bowler shows why people so busy chasing happiness miss out on actual joy.
Joy isn’t something you can optimize or manufacture—it finds us at the edge of expectation, when life interrupts our scripts. Joyful, Anyway gives language for the ache we all carry and practices for “putting yourself in the way of joy”: loosening control, introducing novelty, choosing charity, and staying open to the surprising, technicolor moments that pull us back into life.
Joy reminds us that no matter what, life is still worth loving. For every time we ask is this it?, joy will There is more.
Audible Audio
Published April 7, 2026
About the author
Kate Bowler
18 books1,905 followersKate Bowler, PhD is a New York Times bestselling author, podcast host, and a professor at Duke University. She studies the cultural stories we tell ourselves about success, suffering, and whether (or not) we’re capable of change. She is the author of Blessed: A History of the American Prosperity Gospel and The Preacher’s Wife: The Precarious Power of Evangelical Women Celebrities.
After being unexpectedly diagnosed with Stage IV cancer at age 35, she penned the New York Times bestselling memoir, Everything Happens for a Reason (and Other Lies I’ve Loved) and her latest, No Cure For Being Human (and Other Truths I Need to Hear). Kate hosts the Everything Happens podcast where, in warm, insightful, often funny conversations, she talks with people like Malcolm Gladwell and Anne Lamott about what they’ve learned in difficult times. She lives in Durham, North Carolina with her family and continues to teach do-gooders at Duke Divinity School.
After being unexpectedly diagnosed with Stage IV cancer at age 35, she penned the New York Times bestselling memoir, Everything Happens for a Reason (and Other Lies I’ve Loved) and her latest, No Cure For Being Human (and Other Truths I Need to Hear). Kate hosts the Everything Happens podcast where, in warm, insightful, often funny conversations, she talks with people like Malcolm Gladwell and Anne Lamott about what they’ve learned in difficult times. She lives in Durham, North Carolina with her family and continues to teach do-gooders at Duke Divinity School.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 255 reviews
November 2, 2025
I always believed in the white picket fence.
I was in my early 20s when, over the course of a year, it seemed as if I had lost everything a human being could lose.
My wife died by suicide not long after the death of our newborn, Jennifer.
Not long after, I lost both of my lower legs due to infection and, quite honestly, a lack of self-care.
Finally, my already fragile finances fractured and I found myself living in my car.
After a childhood with spina bifida and years of childhood sexual abuse, I was broken. Yet, my own suicide attempt failed.
So, I wheeled. I wheeled and I wheeled and I wheeled. I wheeled for 41 days and over 1,000 miles on an event I called "The Tenderness Tour" because, after all, tenderness was what I found myself looking for and I knew it would take 1,000 miles to find it.
I found it. I returned from that first Tenderness Tour convinced that the old tapes that playing throughout my life were lies and that there was a reason I was still alive.
I began to believe in the white picket fence. I began to believe in my good life.
I returned from that first trip, there have been 35 since, and I began slowly assembly the puzzle pieces of my life in an effort to build what I considered to be my good life.
Alas, there was no white picket fence.
I never remarried. I never had another child. I never became "happy," whatever happy means. I kept living. I kept wheeling. I built a better life with a good job, good projects, a tapestry of friends and family of choice.
I thought of all of this often throughout Kate Bowler's "Joyful, Anyway," Bowler's latest journey that weaves together personal testimony and academic excellence to explore the surprising magic of joy to carry us through the exhilarations and exhaustions of love and those often unbearable tensions that exist when we experience trauma or pain or loss or grief or illness or any other of life's inevitable benchmarks.
For many of us who read nearly everything Bowler writes, myself included, we already know that Bowler survived a stage-four cancer diagnosis. Having survived cancer twice myself in the past three years (bladder, prostate), I ache with familiarity as Bowler shares these stories just as Bowler herself ached knowing that she should be grateful and yet such an experience also leaves you longing for even more.
Now then, if you know Bowler's writing you know that this longing did not result in toxic positivity or some miracle plan or a journey into prosperity theology. Instead, it became an openness to the everyday simple experiences of joy.
"Joyful, Anyway" isn't about fixing one's life. It's also not about some faux denial-based joy that calls us into simply letting go of our traumas and our dramas. "Joyful, Anyway" is more about learning how to hold the door open for joy to surprise us so that we can live in the tension of a life where we experience everything and refuse to surrender our joy.
It has been 35 years since that first Tenderness Tour. Even being alive defies logic, though I'm not quite prepared to call it miraculous (especially after reading "Joyful, Anyway."). Life has turned out so extraordinary that a feature documentary recently had its world premiere about The Tenderness Tour and my current efforts to eliminate medical debt for others.
I've lived a life far beyond anything I've ever imagined.
Yet, there are still certain tense truths that continue to radiate throughout my physically difficult life filled with significant health issues, few natural supports to speak of, and a social awkwardness that I find both hilarious and embarrassing. Bowler, whose public persona is one of frequent laughter and deep compassion, exudes what I can only describe as an honest humanity and a rich tenderness throughout "Joyful, Anyway," a book where Bowler peels away the layers of her own existence to share with us that awkward tension that sometimes breaks us and other times resurrects our souls.
I was in my early 20s when, over the course of a year, it seemed as if I had lost everything a human being could lose.
My wife died by suicide not long after the death of our newborn, Jennifer.
Not long after, I lost both of my lower legs due to infection and, quite honestly, a lack of self-care.
Finally, my already fragile finances fractured and I found myself living in my car.
After a childhood with spina bifida and years of childhood sexual abuse, I was broken. Yet, my own suicide attempt failed.
So, I wheeled. I wheeled and I wheeled and I wheeled. I wheeled for 41 days and over 1,000 miles on an event I called "The Tenderness Tour" because, after all, tenderness was what I found myself looking for and I knew it would take 1,000 miles to find it.
I found it. I returned from that first Tenderness Tour convinced that the old tapes that playing throughout my life were lies and that there was a reason I was still alive.
I began to believe in the white picket fence. I began to believe in my good life.
I returned from that first trip, there have been 35 since, and I began slowly assembly the puzzle pieces of my life in an effort to build what I considered to be my good life.
Alas, there was no white picket fence.
I never remarried. I never had another child. I never became "happy," whatever happy means. I kept living. I kept wheeling. I built a better life with a good job, good projects, a tapestry of friends and family of choice.
I thought of all of this often throughout Kate Bowler's "Joyful, Anyway," Bowler's latest journey that weaves together personal testimony and academic excellence to explore the surprising magic of joy to carry us through the exhilarations and exhaustions of love and those often unbearable tensions that exist when we experience trauma or pain or loss or grief or illness or any other of life's inevitable benchmarks.
For many of us who read nearly everything Bowler writes, myself included, we already know that Bowler survived a stage-four cancer diagnosis. Having survived cancer twice myself in the past three years (bladder, prostate), I ache with familiarity as Bowler shares these stories just as Bowler herself ached knowing that she should be grateful and yet such an experience also leaves you longing for even more.
Now then, if you know Bowler's writing you know that this longing did not result in toxic positivity or some miracle plan or a journey into prosperity theology. Instead, it became an openness to the everyday simple experiences of joy.
"Joyful, Anyway" isn't about fixing one's life. It's also not about some faux denial-based joy that calls us into simply letting go of our traumas and our dramas. "Joyful, Anyway" is more about learning how to hold the door open for joy to surprise us so that we can live in the tension of a life where we experience everything and refuse to surrender our joy.
It has been 35 years since that first Tenderness Tour. Even being alive defies logic, though I'm not quite prepared to call it miraculous (especially after reading "Joyful, Anyway."). Life has turned out so extraordinary that a feature documentary recently had its world premiere about The Tenderness Tour and my current efforts to eliminate medical debt for others.
I've lived a life far beyond anything I've ever imagined.
Yet, there are still certain tense truths that continue to radiate throughout my physically difficult life filled with significant health issues, few natural supports to speak of, and a social awkwardness that I find both hilarious and embarrassing. Bowler, whose public persona is one of frequent laughter and deep compassion, exudes what I can only describe as an honest humanity and a rich tenderness throughout "Joyful, Anyway," a book where Bowler peels away the layers of her own existence to share with us that awkward tension that sometimes breaks us and other times resurrects our souls.
May 5, 2026
Kate Bowler never misses. Funny, poignant, uplifting, real.
April 11, 2026
"Joy is, at bottom, the belief that existence is good. That TO BE is good. That's why it coexists with suffering, why is cannot be separated from suffering. Because suffering is what raises the question... Is it still good to be? Is it still worth it? Is it a blessing, and not a prison sentence?"
I am so grateful for Kate Bowler 🩷💛💜
I have loved Kate since I discovered her podcast years ago in the early years of what turned out to be a long period of loss and suffering. No one I have come across writes so eloquently but accessibly about the most painful and beautiful parts of life, and how they are always running parallel to one another. This is not a book about toxic positivity. Kate makes clear the difference between happiness and joy and never turns away from the pain, grief, and longing we all experience in our lives, but refuses to close the door to joy. Because in truth, both suffering and joy are present in every life, but when we avert our eyes from joy, or reject it, or do not seek it out, we miss one of the greatest parts of being human.
The second quarter of this book drug a little for me, and I initially gave it 4.5 stars, but I have gone back to reread passages over and over and again, and they both impact and move me each and every time. I marked this book up more than any other I've ever read with the exception of Gilead by Marilynne Robinson. This is a book I will be obnoxious about and gift to people.
After 8 hard years, I am coming out of period of fighting back overwhelming dread and fear, and my word of the year is "savor". This book came to me at the perfect time, and I'll end this review with another of my favorite passages:
"I need to stop giving everything away and find my own delight. I need to take seriously the fact that I might be the only person on the planet who benefits. How useless, how ridiculous, how wonderful. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, reminds the book of James. It is for you. The moon and the sun, the winter and summer, the birds and the lilies- it is for you. What a treat. It was made for YOU.
Accept it".
I am so grateful for Kate Bowler 🩷💛💜
I have loved Kate since I discovered her podcast years ago in the early years of what turned out to be a long period of loss and suffering. No one I have come across writes so eloquently but accessibly about the most painful and beautiful parts of life, and how they are always running parallel to one another. This is not a book about toxic positivity. Kate makes clear the difference between happiness and joy and never turns away from the pain, grief, and longing we all experience in our lives, but refuses to close the door to joy. Because in truth, both suffering and joy are present in every life, but when we avert our eyes from joy, or reject it, or do not seek it out, we miss one of the greatest parts of being human.
The second quarter of this book drug a little for me, and I initially gave it 4.5 stars, but I have gone back to reread passages over and over and again, and they both impact and move me each and every time. I marked this book up more than any other I've ever read with the exception of Gilead by Marilynne Robinson. This is a book I will be obnoxious about and gift to people.
After 8 hard years, I am coming out of period of fighting back overwhelming dread and fear, and my word of the year is "savor". This book came to me at the perfect time, and I'll end this review with another of my favorite passages:
"I need to stop giving everything away and find my own delight. I need to take seriously the fact that I might be the only person on the planet who benefits. How useless, how ridiculous, how wonderful. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, reminds the book of James. It is for you. The moon and the sun, the winter and summer, the birds and the lilies- it is for you. What a treat. It was made for YOU.
Accept it".
November 17, 2025
This is Kate Bowler's best book yet. My word for 2025 is Joy, and this book gave me a lot to meditate on. She shares academic, spiritual, personal, and even crowdsourced insights on what joy is and how to find it in everyday heartache (big and small). I plan to give this book to several friends and get a hard copy for myself!
April 27, 2026
I love Kate Bowler. I love her theology and her stories. I did not, however, love this book. The whole book could have started halfway though. I also would have liked it to feel more connected / unified. It felt a bit more like a stream of Instagram posts. Maybe it just wasn't what I needed right now?
May 1, 2026
An extraordinary treatise on joy as only Kate Bowler -- diagnosed at 35 with stage IV colon cancer and given two years to live, now in remission 10 years later due to immunotherapy -- could write. Highly highly recommended for anyone who wants to live with joy no matter the circumstances.
March 17, 2026
Kate Bowler's Joyful, Anyway is a delightful exploration of how small wins and pieces of hope can be pulled out of almost all situations
It's a message I can get on board with. However I wasn't the biggest fan of the way this message was given. The book is a collection of anecdotes, a lot about her friend rather than herself, instead of a more philosophical dive into the topic.
I full understand that there is a place for that, and it will be very easy to connect with for a lot of readers, but Its not a type of book that interests me. I also subscribe to a more Stoic look at life, and while a lot of these anecdotes end with the general idea of letting things go and realising you cant change what other people do, I felt the way it get there often blamed others for being annoying or causing issues. Not all but some, and that also made it hard for me to grasp.
The book is uplifting, and very personable, the author seems incredible charming, and is great at putting herself into the pages, making herself pop out of the words and feel like a sympathetic and likeable character in the story. I hope other people read this, connect with it, and walk away feeling positive and inspired
It's a message I can get on board with. However I wasn't the biggest fan of the way this message was given. The book is a collection of anecdotes, a lot about her friend rather than herself, instead of a more philosophical dive into the topic.
I full understand that there is a place for that, and it will be very easy to connect with for a lot of readers, but Its not a type of book that interests me. I also subscribe to a more Stoic look at life, and while a lot of these anecdotes end with the general idea of letting things go and realising you cant change what other people do, I felt the way it get there often blamed others for being annoying or causing issues. Not all but some, and that also made it hard for me to grasp.
The book is uplifting, and very personable, the author seems incredible charming, and is great at putting herself into the pages, making herself pop out of the words and feel like a sympathetic and likeable character in the story. I hope other people read this, connect with it, and walk away feeling positive and inspired
March 16, 2026
I lost track of how many times I cried reading this book. I started within the first 10 pages. Kate Bowler asks all the hard questions and does it with so much lightheartedness and humor that you don't even realize you'll be punched in the gut, the breath stolen right out of your lungs, and tears streaming down your face in the next paragraph. At least this was my experience with Joyful, Anyway. In her latest memoir, Kate's on a quest to figure out how to experience joy even in the middle of The Ache every human being feels. She shares stories of her life post-cancer, mid-chronic pain, about everything that comes with being a daughter, wife, mother, professor, friend, and any other hat you could think of for a modern woman to wear. This book combats consumerism, toxic positivity, and self-help happiness culture while embracing a both/and outlook. It asks, can we grieve the injustices we've experienced while also inviting joy? Both heartbreaking and hopeful, it's hard to put into words everything I loved about this book, so I'll just say: read it for yourself and then tell me what you think.
Thank you, deeply, to NetGalley and The Dial Press for the digital review copy and the honor of serving as an early reader.
Thank you, deeply, to NetGalley and The Dial Press for the digital review copy and the honor of serving as an early reader.
April 16, 2026
I don’t have words to say how much I loved this book. It really resonated with me and encouraged me. Kate mixes humor with some really deep thoughts that keep you thinking even after you are done with the book. This will be a yearly read for me.
May 16, 2026
This book pairs well with The Sheep Detectives and parents who have/had cancer.
-1 for millennial humor. Sorry Kate!
-1 for millennial humor. Sorry Kate!
April 13, 2026
I love everything Kate writes. She’s deeply intelligent, faithful, authentic, and hilarious. This book pulls together a thesis on joy that she has been sharing over recent years on her podcast and in her Substack writings. She is the friend you feel like you are sitting with…laughing and weeping your way through life.
April 15, 2026
What does the research say about joy and how to cultivate more of it in our lives? That's the premise of this book tackled in a very honest way. I finished the book committed to appreciating the uniqueness of each human I have the privilege of engaging with each day.
March 22, 2026
Kate Bowler is amazing, full stop. She, like Anne Lamott, is on my list for reading anytime I need inspiration or to feel calmed down in this shitpile of a world. They are spiritual without being dogmatic, which has the result of a warm embrace type feel. It’s uplifting, but in a way that positively anyone can relate to. I’ve been looking forward to this book and it was worth the wait.
April 13, 2026
Ugh. First couple of chapters I was recommending it to friends. Now finishing I am rescinding the recommendation. I like the gist but it could've been an essay. Also bad on me for not realizing there are religious undertones to it all. She jumps all over the place with stories and timelines I just got bored.
March 8, 2026
This book was a great reminder of paying attention to the small moments in life…both the good and the bad where joy can be found. Short chapters and lists made for an easy, enjoyable read. It’s very conversational and reminded me of the podcasts I’ve listened to with Kate.
Thank you NetGalley for the advanced copy.
Thank you NetGalley for the advanced copy.
Read
April 29, 2026So, so good. This reminded me of C.S. Lewis's Surprised by Joy but for a modern woman, though all people can relate, I am sure. It is not as "deep" as Lewis's text, but that's ok: a different book for a different time. And in many ways, I found this book to be a good reminder because I do tend to get stuck in a routine and tend to resist surprises, but joy is a surprise and a mystery and a gift. I think this book speaks the reminder that our longings are persistent, and that people have been grappling with living (hard and beautiful living) for forever. I found this book to a refreshing, funny, and hopeful perspective on joy.
There are a lot of practical strategies in this book, particularly because this book is structured through a process (ache --> mourning --> joy --> living). Bowler includes a lot of great quotes from philosophers and theologians who offer wisdom on purpose, joy, and suffering. In many ways, this book reminds me of both C.S. Lewis's work and a quote often misattributed to C.S. Lewis: "We read to know we are not alone."
I purchased this book for my academic library, and I think it fits into any collection in academic libraries in North Carolina because Bowler is a professor at Duke University (Divinity School). But it is, without a doubt, an obvious selection for a public library ... I foresee many a book club selecting this as one of their picks!
Two final things: 1) I will absolutely be reading this book again, and I hope to read it again over the summer so a re-read is not far off in the future, and 2) finding or being found by joy can look like a lot of things. And my thing is Duke's Divinity Library have two subject specialists in Agrarian Theology -- you can see them here: https://library.divinity.duke.edu/pro...
There are a lot of practical strategies in this book, particularly because this book is structured through a process (ache --> mourning --> joy --> living). Bowler includes a lot of great quotes from philosophers and theologians who offer wisdom on purpose, joy, and suffering. In many ways, this book reminds me of both C.S. Lewis's work and a quote often misattributed to C.S. Lewis: "We read to know we are not alone."
I purchased this book for my academic library, and I think it fits into any collection in academic libraries in North Carolina because Bowler is a professor at Duke University (Divinity School). But it is, without a doubt, an obvious selection for a public library ... I foresee many a book club selecting this as one of their picks!
Two final things: 1) I will absolutely be reading this book again, and I hope to read it again over the summer so a re-read is not far off in the future, and 2) finding or being found by joy can look like a lot of things. And my thing is Duke's Divinity Library have two subject specialists in Agrarian Theology -- you can see them here: https://library.divinity.duke.edu/pro...
May 16, 2026
I’ve been a longtime fan of Kate Bowler. There is no one else that can make you laugh out loud and cry in the same sentence. She is hilarious and has zero pretence. This is her journey to finding joy (not toxic positivity) after grief. Spoiler alert, joy and grief can exist together. Also, I want to be her friend because she is awesome.
May 25, 2026
I love this genre of self help / memoir style book, but I’ve read many that I connected to and enjoyed more than this one. Still, some good tid bids and reminders of the delight, hope, and gratitude that joy brings us.
May 5, 2026
Excellent. I appreciated her sense of humor and sarcasm and how the hard things didn’t keep her from noticing and living, while also maintaining her intellectualism.
April 23, 2026
The downside of writing a truly exceptional book is that every future book will (likely) suffer by comparison, as is the case here. There are laugh-out-loud moments as well as moments of beauty, but for me, neither reached the heights or depths of Everything Happens for a Reason. Still, this was a good (and not saccharine!) account of joy appearing and surprising amid pain and sorrow.
April 12, 2026
I am a fan of Kate Bowler and have waiting for the book to come out on Kindle. Many profound nuggets and wisdom within the pages. I dont know if she was the narrator on the Audible version, but I kept thinking if she did narrate I would have loved the book even more. Now to put in practice to what I read...that's the task at hand.
April 15, 2026
I listened to this one in audio book form. I loved it and loved hearing Kate read it. She is a treasure - full of wisdom and hilarious too. I actually laughed out loud a number of times.
April 12, 2026
Just exactly the book I needed this week. Kate Bowler's approach to important concepts about how best to get through life are equal parts reassuring and challenging, balancing faith with lots of connection to history, philosophy, psychology and personal experience.
April 12, 2026
I really wanted to love Joyful Anyway, but it just didn’t fully land for me. The premise is interesting and there are a few thoughtful moments, but overall it felt a bit repetitive and lacked the depth I was hoping for. Some sections dragged, making it hard to stay engaged. Not terrible, but not especially memorable either. ⭐⭐
April 21, 2026
I had to pick up this book by Kate Bowler when I saw the title - having written my own book about joy, I was eager to read how she would write about it in her new book. If I could point to a fully real-life, unfiltered application of almost everything I wrote in, Putting Joy into Practice: Seven Ways to Lift Your Spirit from the Early Church (affiliate link -https://amzn.to/42liqAR), Bowler's book would be it.
Bowler writes beautifully not only of finding joy in her own pain (as a cancer survivor, this pain cuts deeply), but also in the struggles of others through grief, breakups, and confusing relationships. She rightly points out that sometimes it's easier to find joy when going through a crisis, but perhaps more difficult to experience when life is routine and mundane.
I admit to crying several times reading this book, especially the moment in church with her father in law (I won't spoil it, but they were joyful tears). I will probably read this book again. It is full of sentences I want to repeat for their succinct and deep truths, like this one: "Joy is not a solution, not an answer, nota cure. But maybe it's a song--because even the deepest ache has a melody."
I received an advanced reader copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for my honest review.
Bowler writes beautifully not only of finding joy in her own pain (as a cancer survivor, this pain cuts deeply), but also in the struggles of others through grief, breakups, and confusing relationships. She rightly points out that sometimes it's easier to find joy when going through a crisis, but perhaps more difficult to experience when life is routine and mundane.
I admit to crying several times reading this book, especially the moment in church with her father in law (I won't spoil it, but they were joyful tears). I will probably read this book again. It is full of sentences I want to repeat for their succinct and deep truths, like this one: "Joy is not a solution, not an answer, nota cure. But maybe it's a song--because even the deepest ache has a melody."
I received an advanced reader copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for my honest review.
November 28, 2025
3.5 (good)
I found this book to be relatable and full of emotions. It was full of down to earth humaness. Which I very much appreciated. I loved that this is not a book to make you feel great! It is one that shows you that even in times where people say you cant find joy or happy it can still be possible. The chapters were sbort and pretty simple but that many times is just what you need when you are in a tense time and looking for something, That little bit of hope.
I feel this book will help some out there and even if it dont it is great to get to know this author and hear some of her story.
I found this book to be relatable and full of emotions. It was full of down to earth humaness. Which I very much appreciated. I loved that this is not a book to make you feel great! It is one that shows you that even in times where people say you cant find joy or happy it can still be possible. The chapters were sbort and pretty simple but that many times is just what you need when you are in a tense time and looking for something, That little bit of hope.
I feel this book will help some out there and even if it dont it is great to get to know this author and hear some of her story.
February 23, 2026
i will read anything by KB!!! honored to have read an ARC through netgalley. always delighted by kate’s words, wisdom, and her ability to tether what is beautiful and gorgeous to all that is grief and longing. this comes out so soon and I will be recommending to all my deep feeler friends and my therapist.
May 23, 2026
How do we make room for joy when things are so hard and bad and sad? How is joy different from happiness? Can we even control or attract joy, or does it just happen? What does it mean that sometimes you can't stop laughing even when you are experiencing something horrible (like stage 4 cancer, but also grief, or chronic pain, or divorce, or any other number of crappy things that happen to humans). Kate Bowler doesn't have all the answers, but her exploration of joy is a perfect combination of memoir, research, conversations with other smart people, and lots and lots of snarky humor. It isn't a Christian exploration of joy, although Bowler is a church history professor at Duke Divinity school and her faith touches into the story. And it isn't a cancer person exploration of joy, even though Bowler and I have the experience of being diagnosed with a stage 4 cancer at a young age in common. It certainly is a very human exploration of joy and also the OPPOSITE of a self-help book (in fact, one of Bowler's areas of research is basically a takedown of the self help industry). An expected highlight of the book is some frustrating and moving and hilarious encounters with the American medical system. An unexpected highlight is some pointed criticism of the patriarchy and how it tinges our relationships. And let me emphasize again: it is both moving and insightful AND hilarious. I am a Kate Bowler superfan and this one might be my new favorite.
May 4, 2026
I’d give this 6 stars if I could. Or 100. Just read it.
‘There will be music, despite everything.’
‘I need to find different strategies to unplug from other peoples feelings.’
‘When did I decide that everyone else gets my best gifts? Why is my light always facing out and never in?’
‘How do we discern what is in our control and what is not?’
‘Complete control is an illusion. It is a beautiful lie.’
‘When we say “bless this”, we are saying ‘May everything be put in the right place….. let it be what it should be.’
‘You can’t make yourself joyful any more than you can surprise yourself. You can’t force a feeling but perhaps you can make yourself more available to it… Maybe you just show up and allow for the possibility that something might shift…. Something locked up might finally give.’
‘I have worshiped at the altar of productivity for too long.’
‘There is more…!’
‘Start small. Small is beautiful.’
‘Every lovely thing must be accepted for what it is. Temporary.’
‘Joy is the idea that… Yes. It is good to exist. Even now. It is the ultimate yes.’
‘Joy is a stab of longing’ - CS Lewis
‘I decided to see this as a day by day thing. If you love the people God puts in your way, you’ll always be busy. I’m tasked. This isn’t random - I’m tasked with love. Accept love as an assignment.’
‘We can’t be happy and sad at the same time, but we can be joyful and sad.’
‘Joy does not need to wait for you to heal.’
‘There will be music, despite everything.’
‘I need to find different strategies to unplug from other peoples feelings.’
‘When did I decide that everyone else gets my best gifts? Why is my light always facing out and never in?’
‘How do we discern what is in our control and what is not?’
‘Complete control is an illusion. It is a beautiful lie.’
‘When we say “bless this”, we are saying ‘May everything be put in the right place….. let it be what it should be.’
‘You can’t make yourself joyful any more than you can surprise yourself. You can’t force a feeling but perhaps you can make yourself more available to it… Maybe you just show up and allow for the possibility that something might shift…. Something locked up might finally give.’
‘I have worshiped at the altar of productivity for too long.’
‘There is more…!’
‘Start small. Small is beautiful.’
‘Every lovely thing must be accepted for what it is. Temporary.’
‘Joy is the idea that… Yes. It is good to exist. Even now. It is the ultimate yes.’
‘Joy is a stab of longing’ - CS Lewis
‘I decided to see this as a day by day thing. If you love the people God puts in your way, you’ll always be busy. I’m tasked. This isn’t random - I’m tasked with love. Accept love as an assignment.’
‘We can’t be happy and sad at the same time, but we can be joyful and sad.’
‘Joy does not need to wait for you to heal.’
May 12, 2026
I must have read this twice, I kept going back and rereading some passages that were gems!
Here is the part that resonated the most with me, personally:
“I guess… okay, I’ll be totally honest: I am much better in a crisis. Spiritually, I mean. I can face down an existential crisis and stare at the apocalypse and feel enormous amounts of love and peace. But then the second that crisis is over, I feel like such a terrible person. Ordinary life - email, pickups, trying to find a new moisturizer - that stuff makes me feel so itchy. I feel disappointed in myself…. Because I want more. So much more….”
Then the helpful direction to… “God, grant me appropriate smallness. In a world that is overwhelming and full of suffering, give me back the smallness that is mine. Small actions, small attempts, small miracles.”
One step at a time and one awe-filled, bursting up of joy revelation at a time!
Here is the part that resonated the most with me, personally:
“I guess… okay, I’ll be totally honest: I am much better in a crisis. Spiritually, I mean. I can face down an existential crisis and stare at the apocalypse and feel enormous amounts of love and peace. But then the second that crisis is over, I feel like such a terrible person. Ordinary life - email, pickups, trying to find a new moisturizer - that stuff makes me feel so itchy. I feel disappointed in myself…. Because I want more. So much more….”
Then the helpful direction to… “God, grant me appropriate smallness. In a world that is overwhelming and full of suffering, give me back the smallness that is mine. Small actions, small attempts, small miracles.”
One step at a time and one awe-filled, bursting up of joy revelation at a time!
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