well I gave it 4 stars before I finished as I loved the way it challenges standard narrative...BUT the last 2 chapters kind of blew that....like she just chucked in a few pages from her journal... so downgrading it to 3 stars.
14/03/13 1 of 19 books for $10
***********QUOTES ********* SPOILERS****************
He doubted her. You must never doubt the one you love.
but they might not be telling you the truth.
What do you mean?
you can't be another person's honesty, child, but you can be your own.
So what should I say?
When?
When I love someone?
You should say it.
A problem shared was a problem doubled, he thought. people tried to help, but all they did was interfere. better to keep trouble contained, like a mad dog. Then he remembered the dog. They were his thoughts. he wouldn't tell anyone, ever.
Do you know the story of Jekyll and Hyde?
Of course.
Well then – to avoid either extreme, it is necessary to find all the lives in between.
Are we so utterly lacking in self-knowledge do you think?
I wouldn’t put it like that, Dark: a man may know himself, but he prides himself on his character, his integrity – the word says it all – integrity – we use to mean virtue, but it means wholeness too, and which of us is that?
This is not a love story, but love is in it. That is, loves is just outside it, looking for a way to break in.
We’re here, there,, not here, not there, swirling like specks of dust, claiming for ourselves the rights of the universe. Being important, being nothing, being caught in lives of our own making that we never wanted. Breaking out, trying again, wondering why the past comes with us, wondering how to talk about the past at all.
There’s a booth in Grand Central Station where you can go and record your life. You talk. It tapes. It’s the modern-day confessional – no priest, just your voice in the silence. What you were, digitally saved for the future. Forty minutes is yours.
Now the sky was a dead sea, and the stars and the planets were memory-points, like Darwin’s fossils. There were archives of catastrophe and mistake.
The fossil record is always there, whether or not you discover it. The brittle ghosts of the past. Memory is not like the surface of the water – either troubled or still. Memory is layered. What you were was another life, but the evidence is somewhere in the rock – your trilobites and ammonites, your struggling life-forms, just when you thought you could stand upright.
Before he wrote on the origin of Species, Darwin spent five years as a naturalist, aboard HMS Beagle. In nature he found not past, present and future as we recognise them, but an evolutionary process of change – energy never rapped for too long – life always changing.
Darwin said something to me once for which I was grateful. I had been trying to forget, trying to stop my mind reaching for a place where it can never home. He knew my agitation, though he did not know the cause, and he took me up to (Am Parbh) – the Turning point. Nothing can be forgotten. Nothing can be lost. The universe itself is one vast memory system. Look back and you will find the beginnings of the world.
I wish I could be clearer, I wish I could say “ My life has no light. My life was eating me alive”
The rest of my life. I have never rested always run, run so fast that the sun can’t make a shadow. Well, here I am – mid-way, lost in a dark wood – the selva oscura without a torch, a guide, or even a bird.
In 1859 Darwin published on the Origin of the Species. Wagner completed the opera Tristan and Isolde. Both are about the beginnings of the world.
In Tristan the world shrinks to a boat, a bed, a lantern, a love-potion, a wound. The world is contained within a word – Isold. The Romantic solipsism that nothing exists but the two of us, could not be further from the multiplicity and variety of Darwin’s theory of the natural world. Here, the world and everything in it forms and is re-formed tirelessly and unceasingly. Nature’s vitality is amoral and unsenti-mental: the weak die, the strong survive.
In the fossil record of our existence, there is no trace of love. You cannot find it held in the earth’s crust, waiting to be discovered. The long bones of our ancestors show nothing of their hearts. There last meal is sometimes preserved n peat or in ice, but their thoughts and feelings are gone.
Some wounds never heal.
The second time the sword went in, I aimed it at the place of the first. I am weak there – the place where I had been found out before. My weakness was skinned over by your love. I knew when you healed me that the wound would open again. I knew it like destiny, and at the same time, I knew it as choice. The love-potion? I never drank it? Did you?
I unlatched the shutters. The light was as intense as a love affair. I was blinded, delighted, not just because it was warm and wonderful, but because nature measures nothing. Nobody needs this much sunlight. Nobody needs droughts, volcanoes, monsoons, tornadoes either, but we get them, because our world is as extravagant as a world can be. We are the ones obsessed by measurement. The world just pours it out.
I used to be a hopeless romantic. I am still a hopeless romantic. I used to believe that love was the highest value. I still believe that love is the highest value. I don’t expect to be happy. I don’t imagine that I will find love, whatever that means, or that if I do find it, it will make me happy. I don’t think of love as the answer or the solution.I don’t think of love as the a force of nature – as strong as the sun, as necessary, as impersonal, as gigantic, as impossible, as scorching as it is warming, as drought making as it I life giving. And when it burns out, the planet dies.
My little orbit of life circles love. I daren’t get any closer. I’m not a mystic seeking final communion. I don’t go out with SPF5. I protect myself.