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To Stand in the Light
Answering a distress call in the farthest reaches of the galaxy, teenage half-demon Shadow finds a scene of carnage where their superheroine foster parents once lived. Only one thing holds them back from seeking death: the unexpected discovery of a small, scruffy girl. Bean, an acid-green-haired high school dropout, is feral and whimsical by turns. As they travel home, she slowly grows to trust Shadow, and wriggles into their closed-off heart.
Dangerous secrets and painful memories drive Shadow away from New York again and again, but their friendship with Bean only grows. When they return home, though, it’s to a grown-up Bean who finds herself falling for her former mentor- and tumbling headlong into much bigger trouble than anyone suspects…
Dangerous secrets and painful memories drive Shadow away from New York again and again, but their friendship with Bean only grows. When they return home, though, it’s to a grown-up Bean who finds herself falling for her former mentor- and tumbling headlong into much bigger trouble than anyone suspects…
112 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 31, 2015
6 people are currently reading
357 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
November 27, 2016
Oh boy.
The first 30% were absolutely lovely. The characters, the diversity, man WOW! But the execution... booo.
How can this even?
After the lovely beginning, first, the writing was just off, like hopping around the characters heads, constantly. This was because the MCs were separated for four years, but the story was still continuously told from both their perspectives. Yes, it is that weird and confusing.
And then when they meet again and both realise they want to date the other, things go just additionally crazy plot wise.
How has this book so many high ratings? I mean, I want to give it 5 stars for diversity (non-binary transfeminine character, disabled characters (neuroatypical, physical) and more, doing superhero/*ine stuff, forming relationships, growing up).
But... But... come on, that can't be enough! The world building, the narration style, the romance, the plot development etc. all should be taken into consideration as well.
I'm dnf'ing this at 70%, because I've reached the end of my tolerance, and while it pains me and I often don't rate books I do not finish (because it's often a case of preference), I will give this book a one star rating.
If you're looking for a book with lots of diversity (sexual and gender identity, disability)—and I know there aren't enough out there—I really loved Chameleon Moon, so you might want to check this one out instead.
Ugh.
The first 30% were absolutely lovely. The characters, the diversity, man WOW! But the execution... booo.
How can this even?
After the lovely beginning, first, the writing was just off, like hopping around the characters heads, constantly. This was because the MCs were separated for four years, but the story was still continuously told from both their perspectives. Yes, it is that weird and confusing.
And then when they meet again and both realise they want to date the other, things go just additionally crazy plot wise.
How has this book so many high ratings? I mean, I want to give it 5 stars for diversity (non-binary transfeminine character, disabled characters (neuroatypical, physical) and more, doing superhero/*ine stuff, forming relationships, growing up).
But... But... come on, that can't be enough! The world building, the narration style, the romance, the plot development etc. all should be taken into consideration as well.
I'm dnf'ing this at 70%, because I've reached the end of my tolerance, and while it pains me and I often don't rate books I do not finish (because it's often a case of preference), I will give this book a one star rating.
If you're looking for a book with lots of diversity (sexual and gender identity, disability)—and I know there aren't enough out there—I really loved Chameleon Moon, so you might want to check this one out instead.
Ugh.
February 11, 2015
I could write so much about To Stand In The Light and how amazing it is, but for right now all I will say is this: on a bad day the best cure for feeling better is to climb inside a Kayla Bashe story and stay there for as long as possible. Reading her fiction gives you a sense of how wonderful the world (and people) can be...and, for a time, everything _is_ better. Maybe that's why I like to linger so long among her words.
January 2, 2015
I love Kayla Bashe's work, and To Stand In The Light is another incredible book from her! I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Shadow, a nonbinary hero who struggles with their appearance and their past, meets Bean, a young girl with extraordinary powers she doesn't know how to fully control. Shadow takes Bean to the superhero academy they studied at when they were younger, and Bean learns to unlock her true potential while making friends- and an enemy. You'll grow to love Shadow as much as Bean does, and to love Bean as much as Shadow does.
If you read this book you'll find complex, interesting characters, well-written antagonists, an exploration of self-hatred and PTSD, and a bright hope for recovery and the defeat of evil.
The subplots and side characters never seem unnecessary or boring. Everyone in this book has their place, and holds it well.
This superhero book is truly super.
Shadow, a nonbinary hero who struggles with their appearance and their past, meets Bean, a young girl with extraordinary powers she doesn't know how to fully control. Shadow takes Bean to the superhero academy they studied at when they were younger, and Bean learns to unlock her true potential while making friends- and an enemy. You'll grow to love Shadow as much as Bean does, and to love Bean as much as Shadow does.
If you read this book you'll find complex, interesting characters, well-written antagonists, an exploration of self-hatred and PTSD, and a bright hope for recovery and the defeat of evil.
The subplots and side characters never seem unnecessary or boring. Everyone in this book has their place, and holds it well.
This superhero book is truly super.
May 7, 2017
Actual Rating: 2.5
The characters were cool, and the plot was pretty okay, but the writing was... Not Great. It was choppy and disorganized sometimes, specially since it wasn't divided into chapters at all but the point of view changed often, and there were some distracting typos. The characters were unique, though, and I appreciate the diversity (in genders, sexualites, disabilities, races/ethnicities, etc), even if the side characters weren't super fleshed out. Overall it was a pretty awesome concept, but it read more like an extended rough draft than a novel.
The characters were cool, and the plot was pretty okay, but the writing was... Not Great. It was choppy and disorganized sometimes, specially since it wasn't divided into chapters at all but the point of view changed often, and there were some distracting typos. The characters were unique, though, and I appreciate the diversity (in genders, sexualites, disabilities, races/ethnicities, etc), even if the side characters weren't super fleshed out. Overall it was a pretty awesome concept, but it read more like an extended rough draft than a novel.
April 5, 2018
Cute.
As the title says, this book was cute. The writing style is a little amateurish at points, but there's something so earnest and well meaning about it that it's hard to be mad at that. There were a couple minor issues I picked up on - Bean realising she's in love because she's jealous, though that's mostly just a pet peeve of mine; there's also a passage that references someone trying to get kids hooked on LSD, which given that it isn't considered addictive, is a bit of an odd choice. There was definitely more that I liked than not though, and I'll definitely check out more from Kayla Bashe in the future.
As the title says, this book was cute. The writing style is a little amateurish at points, but there's something so earnest and well meaning about it that it's hard to be mad at that. There were a couple minor issues I picked up on - Bean realising she's in love because she's jealous, though that's mostly just a pet peeve of mine; there's also a passage that references someone trying to get kids hooked on LSD, which given that it isn't considered addictive, is a bit of an odd choice. There was definitely more that I liked than not though, and I'll definitely check out more from Kayla Bashe in the future.
June 24, 2016
"Antimatter pigeons are trying to hold the Empire State Building hostage. Rosita needs backup!"
Imagine a friendship turned romance between young superheroes, one of whom has power over light, while the other commands shadows and darkness.
Imagine the miles-deep yet frightened connection between two people horribly hurt by rejection, one by her white parents when the Korean baby they’d adopted wouldn’t become the musical prodigy they wanted and then denied her ADD treatment, the other from the gawking tourists who paid money to see a caged-up child at the circus.
To Stand in the Light by Kayla Bashe will introduce you to Shadow, a scarred, half-demon nearly seven feet tall, and Bean, an enthusiastic waif who loves glitter and bright colors. Both of them are absolutely terrified that they’re a burden on the other, and a lot of us can relate to that. “Thinking about those bad times, when she felt like apologizing to the fluorescent lights for having to shine down on her[…]”
That’s not Bashe’s only evocative phrase: Bean’s stomach began to feel like a cheap blender trying to grind up knives • “I’d swallow a cactus if it would mean I could get my GED already.” • She fell in awe of New York the way one would adore the stars, if stars could be petted and tenderly kissed. • “Let’s be messed up together, instead of arguing over who deserves who.”
There’s a plot element I remember from animated Batman—if superheroes have failsafes in case one of them goes bad, what if one of the baddies gets control of the failsafe? Bashe took it in a new direction that was interesting to watch unfold.
Both Shadow and Bean have to heal and accept medical help so that they can be the best for the superhero team and for each other. Naturally, this being a Kayla Bashe book, we get plenty of healing and positivity. Also, this being a Kayla Bashe book, Shadow is ‘they’ and nonbinary transfeminine (and both leads are bi), and the writing incorporates that identity seamlessly into the text.
One note that the beginning of this book was difficult for me because it opens with a lead character discovering the remains of their foster parents (eaten by alien lions or something.) I’ve lost a parent and stepparent so if you’re vulnerable to those memories, yes, this book will take you back there. But it will take you back accurately, and then leave the pain behind to do some storytelling, so don’t let that scare you away. “I promise you won’t have to miss them alone,” says Shadow, since they and Bean shared those foster parents who got eaten by aliens, and I know what that feels like. It’s little details like that which matter.
"You’ve got an extra villain to kick the butt of every day before you can even get out of bed, and you’ve been fighting alone — without any powers or weapons or anything — and still you manage to defeat it often enough to live your life. That makes you the bravest person I know."
Imagine a friendship turned romance between young superheroes, one of whom has power over light, while the other commands shadows and darkness.
Imagine the miles-deep yet frightened connection between two people horribly hurt by rejection, one by her white parents when the Korean baby they’d adopted wouldn’t become the musical prodigy they wanted and then denied her ADD treatment, the other from the gawking tourists who paid money to see a caged-up child at the circus.
To Stand in the Light by Kayla Bashe will introduce you to Shadow, a scarred, half-demon nearly seven feet tall, and Bean, an enthusiastic waif who loves glitter and bright colors. Both of them are absolutely terrified that they’re a burden on the other, and a lot of us can relate to that. “Thinking about those bad times, when she felt like apologizing to the fluorescent lights for having to shine down on her[…]”
That’s not Bashe’s only evocative phrase: Bean’s stomach began to feel like a cheap blender trying to grind up knives • “I’d swallow a cactus if it would mean I could get my GED already.” • She fell in awe of New York the way one would adore the stars, if stars could be petted and tenderly kissed. • “Let’s be messed up together, instead of arguing over who deserves who.”
There’s a plot element I remember from animated Batman—if superheroes have failsafes in case one of them goes bad, what if one of the baddies gets control of the failsafe? Bashe took it in a new direction that was interesting to watch unfold.
Both Shadow and Bean have to heal and accept medical help so that they can be the best for the superhero team and for each other. Naturally, this being a Kayla Bashe book, we get plenty of healing and positivity. Also, this being a Kayla Bashe book, Shadow is ‘they’ and nonbinary transfeminine (and both leads are bi), and the writing incorporates that identity seamlessly into the text.
One note that the beginning of this book was difficult for me because it opens with a lead character discovering the remains of their foster parents (eaten by alien lions or something.) I’ve lost a parent and stepparent so if you’re vulnerable to those memories, yes, this book will take you back there. But it will take you back accurately, and then leave the pain behind to do some storytelling, so don’t let that scare you away. “I promise you won’t have to miss them alone,” says Shadow, since they and Bean shared those foster parents who got eaten by aliens, and I know what that feels like. It’s little details like that which matter.
"You’ve got an extra villain to kick the butt of every day before you can even get out of bed, and you’ve been fighting alone — without any powers or weapons or anything — and still you manage to defeat it often enough to live your life. That makes you the bravest person I know."
April 3, 2015
I jumped right into this book with little idea what to expect, and let me tell you, I wasn't disappointed. This is a wonderful and touching story, and I love how it deals more with overcoming internal conflicts and accepting one's self than it does with the outside supervillains. Shadow and Bean are absolutely adorable. You kind of just want to cuddle both of them and tell them it's all going to be okay. Especially Shadow. :3
Anyway! If you're looking for a fast-paced story with an incredibly diverse cast, this is definitely a great candidate. The characters are charming, the writing is smooth and has some wonderful, quirky expression (serious writer jealousy here). My only "complaint" is that I felt a little rushed at the start? It might be because I don't read YA often, but I felt like a more immersive and slow beginning would've added weight to the story as a whole. It sure wasn't enough to ruin the story as a whole, and you get used to the pace quickly, allowing Kayla Bashe to sweep you into her world.
Anyway! If you're looking for a fast-paced story with an incredibly diverse cast, this is definitely a great candidate. The characters are charming, the writing is smooth and has some wonderful, quirky expression (serious writer jealousy here). My only "complaint" is that I felt a little rushed at the start? It might be because I don't read YA often, but I felt like a more immersive and slow beginning would've added weight to the story as a whole. It sure wasn't enough to ruin the story as a whole, and you get used to the pace quickly, allowing Kayla Bashe to sweep you into her world.
September 15, 2015
To Stand in the Light is a fantastic, energetic, fun read which I can enthusiastically recommend to a diverse audience. The fast pace can feel a little rushed at first, because this book gets a lot done in a short time, but by the end, it feels good and right that it accomplishes its goals with so little delay and hesitation.
The characters are believable, sympathetic, and vibrant. They come from a palette of every conceivable neurotype and gender identity, and their experiences with ADHD, PTSD, anxiety, and panic attacks are so real and honest that any reader living with them will feel represented and understood.
The characters are believable, sympathetic, and vibrant. They come from a palette of every conceivable neurotype and gender identity, and their experiences with ADHD, PTSD, anxiety, and panic attacks are so real and honest that any reader living with them will feel represented and understood.
October 27, 2016
I didn't expect this book to feel so good.
I too have PTSD from child abuse and I could read this book without being triggered. I even smiled all through the ending.
At first, it was just fun to read about a superhero school, then I could relate to Bean and her issues, I liked seeing her relationship with Shadow develop. I liked the variety of secondary characters. I liked the universe of the book and how the superheroes' aesthetics, personalities and skills (not just Bean and Shadow) differed from each other's. I also could relate to Shadow.
The ending was really cathartic for me, as an abuse victim, so I couldn't stop smiling. (I have photographic proofs!) It might seem too easily written to other people, who might want to get more details over the superheroing and more cliffhangers and twists, but for me... it made me feel really good. The total opposite of being triggered or of how I feel usually when thinking about any abuse I lived or that others live. I can't describe it, but it even physically felt good, the opposite of when I get panic attacks over it. I think, aside from the positive message, it is an experience that will help me healing from it and other bad experiences linked to abuse (secondary victimization, policing of how I talk about the abuse I lived or abuse in general, etc.)
I even got really excited and started running around because I was so happy and felt better (that was one of these nights when I don't feel good at all.)
I think the representation of their issues is quite good and also they kick asses. It was a really fun read, really comforting and soothing. I even thought about it when I wasn't reading it and it made me feel good.
So, that's my review, the book might be too simple for others to be anything else than a light right, but for me it was great.
I would love to read about the lives of some other heroes in that universe.
TWs:
Abuse (including of children, including being locked up in a room/cage and starvation)
Exploitation
Trafficking
Kidnapping
Abandonment
Homelessness
Drugs (medical and others)
Death (including of caregivers)
Murder
Ableism (including ableist language)
Self-harm
I too have PTSD from child abuse and I could read this book without being triggered. I even smiled all through the ending.
At first, it was just fun to read about a superhero school, then I could relate to Bean and her issues, I liked seeing her relationship with Shadow develop. I liked the variety of secondary characters. I liked the universe of the book and how the superheroes' aesthetics, personalities and skills (not just Bean and Shadow) differed from each other's. I also could relate to Shadow.
The ending was really cathartic for me, as an abuse victim, so I couldn't stop smiling. (I have photographic proofs!) It might seem too easily written to other people, who might want to get more details over the superheroing and more cliffhangers and twists, but for me... it made me feel really good. The total opposite of being triggered or of how I feel usually when thinking about any abuse I lived or that others live. I can't describe it, but it even physically felt good, the opposite of when I get panic attacks over it. I think, aside from the positive message, it is an experience that will help me healing from it and other bad experiences linked to abuse (secondary victimization, policing of how I talk about the abuse I lived or abuse in general, etc.)
I even got really excited and started running around because I was so happy and felt better (that was one of these nights when I don't feel good at all.)
I think the representation of their issues is quite good and also they kick asses. It was a really fun read, really comforting and soothing. I even thought about it when I wasn't reading it and it made me feel good.
So, that's my review, the book might be too simple for others to be anything else than a light right, but for me it was great.
I would love to read about the lives of some other heroes in that universe.
TWs:
Abuse (including of children, including being locked up in a room/cage and starvation)
Exploitation
Trafficking
Kidnapping
Abandonment
Homelessness
Drugs (medical and others)
Death (including of caregivers)
Murder
Ableism (including ableist language)
Self-harm
February 18, 2018
A little more like a 3.5 star read, but rounded up for the great representation of mental illness and the presence of nonbinary supporting characters as well as the main character. The beginning was a tad confusing and I wish that there had been a bit more worldubilding—if I hadn't read a tweet stating that this was set in an alternate version of the 1980s, I might not have been able to tell from the text—but the story itself was sweet and I loved seeing how Bean grew over the course of the story. I'm normally not a huge fan of superhero stories, but since this focused more on the characters themselves than the whole "must save world now" aspect, I enjoyed it quite a bit. Definitely recommend this for people looking for a quick read with excellent representation of queerness and mental illness/neurodiversity.
Want to read
February 15, 2020MC with ADHD (Bean)
Read
August 1, 2021
Trigger & Content Warnings
Ableism
Parental abandonment
Child abuse
Forced starvation
Self harm
Murder
Kidnapping
Homelessness
Ableism
Parental abandonment
Child abuse
Forced starvation
Self harm
Murder
Kidnapping
Homelessness
March 25, 2016
In the first Kayla Bashe book I read, the concept was great but the writing was very shaky. I think her technical skill has improved considerably since then! I enjoyed this queer superhero adventure wholeheartedly. Shadow, a famous young superhero with power over darkness, is devastated when they find that their adoptive parents have been killed by vicious wildlife on an alien planet. They also learn that their parents had taken in a teenage girl named Bean, who survived the beasts but will need help getting back to Earth. Shadow and Bean bond on their trek through the jungle, and when Shadow disocvers that Bean has the superpower of light manipulation, they help her to enroll in an academy for young superheroes in training.
This book is super fun, full of rainbows and cuteness, but it’s not all happiness all the time. Shadow and Bean both struggle with mental illness, and learning to manage their anxieties and trauma and accept the love they deserve is every bit as important as defeating supervillains, and considerably more difficult.
This book is super fun, full of rainbows and cuteness, but it’s not all happiness all the time. Shadow and Bean both struggle with mental illness, and learning to manage their anxieties and trauma and accept the love they deserve is every bit as important as defeating supervillains, and considerably more difficult.
October 12, 2020
This book deals with some quite heavy themes like different kinds of trauma, mental illness and disability, but it’s never grim and I actually count it as another “feel-good” book, because it also has the different characters be wonderfully supportive of each other. The character interactions are definitely the focus of this book, the superhero part is mostly just a background for them. Besides queer main characters, this book also has a lot of other minority representation- Shadow has PTSD and chronic pain, Bean has ADHD and is a Korean transracial adoptee, and there are also otherwise disabled characters, characters if colour, one Jewish character and one DID system (there were probably more, but those are the ones I remember). IIRC, there is no homophobia in the setting and only one minor case of transphobia. Tbh, this book isn’t actually all that great from a purely literary point but for me the characters and themes more than made up for it.
September 14, 2015
I am so glad that I finished this book. I didn't read what it was about before I started so I was totally confused at first. But once Shadow and Bean come back to the city and the school, I had gotten my bearings. Their relationship was so cute and real. Bean was just the best. I definitely connected more with her than Shadow. They were great too though. They could easily have their own story with how deep their background was. All in all, this was a good quick read.
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