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The Truth of Memoir: How to Write about Yourself and Others with Honesty, Emotion, and Integrity
Baring the Truth in Your Memoir
When you write a memoir or personal essay, you dare to reveal the truths of your about yourself, and about others in your life. How do you expose long-guarded secrets and discuss bad behavior? How do you gracefully portray your family members, friends, spouses, exes, and children without damaging your relationships? How do you balance your respect for others with your desire to tell the truth?
In "The Truth of Memoir," best-selling memoirist Kerry Cohen provides insight and guidelines for depicting the characters who appear in your work with honesty and compassion. You'll learn how to choose which details to include and which secrets to tell, how to render the people in your life artfully and fully on the page, and what reactions you can expect from those you include in your work--as well as from readers and the media.
Featuring over twenty candid essays from memoirists sharing their experiences and advice, as well as exercises for writing about others in your memoirs and essays, "The Truth of Memoir" will give you the courage and confidence to write your story--and all of its requisite characters--with truth and grace.
Kerry Cohen's "The Truth of Memoir" is a smart, soulful, psychologically astute guide to first-person writing. She reveals everything you want to know--but were afraid to ask--about telling your life story. --Susan Shapiro, author of eight books including "Only As Good as Your Word," and co-author of "The Bosnia List"
When you write a memoir or personal essay, you dare to reveal the truths of your about yourself, and about others in your life. How do you expose long-guarded secrets and discuss bad behavior? How do you gracefully portray your family members, friends, spouses, exes, and children without damaging your relationships? How do you balance your respect for others with your desire to tell the truth?
In "The Truth of Memoir," best-selling memoirist Kerry Cohen provides insight and guidelines for depicting the characters who appear in your work with honesty and compassion. You'll learn how to choose which details to include and which secrets to tell, how to render the people in your life artfully and fully on the page, and what reactions you can expect from those you include in your work--as well as from readers and the media.
Featuring over twenty candid essays from memoirists sharing their experiences and advice, as well as exercises for writing about others in your memoirs and essays, "The Truth of Memoir" will give you the courage and confidence to write your story--and all of its requisite characters--with truth and grace.
Kerry Cohen's "The Truth of Memoir" is a smart, soulful, psychologically astute guide to first-person writing. She reveals everything you want to know--but were afraid to ask--about telling your life story. --Susan Shapiro, author of eight books including "Only As Good as Your Word," and co-author of "The Bosnia List"
242 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 31, 2014
30 people are currently reading
222 people want to read
About the author
Kerry Cohen
21 books269 followersKerry Cohen is the author of Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity; Seeing Ezra: A Mother’s Story of Autism, Unconditional Love, and The Meaning of Normal; Dirty Little Secrets: Breaking the Silence on Teenage Girls and Promiscuity; as well as three young adult novels – Easy; The Good Girl; and It’s Not You, It’s Me. Her essays have been featured in The New York Times' "Modern Love" series, The Washington Post, Brevity, Literary Mama, and many other journals and anthologies.
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 29 reviews
May 2, 2021
What do you do in 2014 when you have nothing else to write about? You write yet another book on writing, in this case memoir writing. Its a good book, filled with great advice that most people have read ten times before in various books, articles and online posts. Books on memoir writing that are really good are hard to find, as there have been so many to wade though in recent years. "On Writing," by Stephen King is EXCELLENT. Then there is "Handling the Truth," by Beth Kephart, "Composing a Life," by Mary Catherine Bateson, and "Writing Your Life" by Lou Willett Stanek are better books than this one. The suggestions seem common sense in this book because they are and are basically borrowed from other sources. Don't waste your money. There are better books on the topic.
June 20, 2024
This book explores the best way to write your memoir with grace if you have to tackle difficult or delicate subjects. There are chapters about family, children, spouses, and exes. There is a whole chapter just for writing about sex, drugs, and addiction. There are chapters about revealing secrets and how to not get sued for libel. The main focus is on how to write about awful things like abuse and divorce and cheating.
Since I don't have any horrible secrets to write about, this book wasn't helpful for me. It is well-written, but I didn't care about the excerpts from memoirs at the end of each chapter. I read some of the beginning, mostly skimmed over some of the first chapters, then completely skipped most of the middle, and read some more at the end. Most of the book doesn't apply to me at all.
Since I don't have any horrible secrets to write about, this book wasn't helpful for me. It is well-written, but I didn't care about the excerpts from memoirs at the end of each chapter. I read some of the beginning, mostly skimmed over some of the first chapters, then completely skipped most of the middle, and read some more at the end. Most of the book doesn't apply to me at all.
May 28, 2018
While this book didn't necessarily "teach" me things I wasn't already aware of as a memoir writer, it provides me with factual examples and advice from published memoirists. It reassures me that the challenges I face and things I worry about as I write, are common to all writers of the genre. It gives me a wide range of answers to some of the questions I have and reiterated the big answer, which is: you absolutely truly cannot know how anyone is going to respond to your writing. It also reminded me that I have every right to tell me stories and to do my best to be kind while doing it.
July 22, 2019
Absolutely incredible!
I work on memoirs for authors, and I was looking for a book that discussed handling issues such as writing about family members, abuse, and trauma. This book answered so many questions for me and ones I didn't know I had. I especially liked the sections on the legalities of memoir. It's so much more than just changing names.
What makes this book different from others is the sections from memoirists themselves wherein they offer advice on how they dealt with real-life issues they faced when publishing their memoirs. What do you do if you don't write favorably about your dad, even if it's the truth? What do you do when an old girlfriend reads what you wrote and wants to sue?
These questions are answered in Kerry Cohen's book!
I added this book to my resources page on my website. It's an excellent read!
I work on memoirs for authors, and I was looking for a book that discussed handling issues such as writing about family members, abuse, and trauma. This book answered so many questions for me and ones I didn't know I had. I especially liked the sections on the legalities of memoir. It's so much more than just changing names.
What makes this book different from others is the sections from memoirists themselves wherein they offer advice on how they dealt with real-life issues they faced when publishing their memoirs. What do you do if you don't write favorably about your dad, even if it's the truth? What do you do when an old girlfriend reads what you wrote and wants to sue?
These questions are answered in Kerry Cohen's book!
I added this book to my resources page on my website. It's an excellent read!
March 4, 2024
Time to start editing, polishing, submitting some of my stories and writings.
February 6, 2017
A comprehensive view of the writing of a memoir. I highly encourage any memoir writer read it before publishing. Both sides of the coin are shown through stories and examples. Whether you are writing about family, friends, ex's, bad behavior, etc. it is worth considering reactions and preparing the best you are able to withstand the responses of those who know you and/or the press or even complete strangers. The appendix offers and excellent resource list on writing memoirs and a list of published memoirs. The book also included reader exercises and guest writers sharing their experiences.
May 27, 2024
The format of this book was effective: chapters on major topics, such as writing about family, secrets, and legal issues around memoirs, accompanied by mini-essays written by other authors of memoirs. These mini-essays flesh out and illustrate the chapter topics. I haven't read many memoirs and only lately began to consider writing one of my own. I was surprised to learn that memoirs often use fiction techniques, such as composite characters. The genre fits the non-fiction classification, but has some latitude as the story of the narrator's memories and experiences. I knew authors of memoirs spend a lot of time on the ethics of the genre--how to respect the other people in one's story. As a Writer's Digest book, this is mainly a short overview of the genre; but as happens with most WD books, it furnished a fine introduction to memoir and its issues, while providing a solid bibliography. I learned a lot and feel prepared to dig deeper.
March 16, 2020
The book cover is a bit hokey but I remember I found the content very useful when I read it a few months ago. Initially, I wasn't going to write reviews of writing books since I thought, I'd better put my writing energy into my own project. But I've realized I need to write a review for my own use if not to help other writers. Kerry Cohen compiled twenty essays from different writers who share lessons learned from their own memoir writing. Of course, some essays will be more relevant than others. But I found so much valuable tips, I've decided to find my own copy of the book to keep on my bookshelf for quick reference. The essays offer practical advice. For example: how much dialogue should I have? I'll need to finish this review after I get my copy of the book!
December 16, 2018
Super helpful book that addresses all the major questions a new memoirist would have like: will I be sued if I write this, or how true should true be, or what if I write something embarrassing like about sex etc. My copy is dog-eared, flagged and highlighted with so many helpful tips so I can refer to again and again. There's also a fantastic recommended reading list at the end. Highly recommend this gripping and motivating book to anyone considering writing a memoir.
June 24, 2017
Honestly, the best book I have read on memoir writing especially for someone like me uncomfortable about writing about others living or not. Has 3 types of sections: by the author, by other memoir writers, and exercises. I skipped the exercises but they did pose some interesting questions.
July 3, 2017
Another good overview of memoir, but the softer, more emotional side of things. Some of these seemed a little obvious to me, but I think that makes it a good overview for beginners. The section on prepping for the media's response to your memoir was by far the best and most worth it.
April 6, 2018
As I am in the midst of writing a book about leadership that incorporates my life experiences, I found this book to be very useful. Especially in the area of how to deal with people that are still alive and experiences where my own behavior was less than stellar.
November 15, 2021
A lot of the information feels quite redundant but I really liked reading the personal essays from memoirists that were sprinkled in-between the chapters. If anything this book has taught me that I absolutely do not want to write a memoir haha
August 4, 2023
I found this helped when I started writing my memoir. It addresses helpful specific topics, like writing about triggering subjects or certain types of people. it also has a chapter on legal things to consider. Nice little beginner's book.
August 26, 2017
A resounding five stars from me. Also, my to-read list is now officially long enough to last me for the rest of my life ;-)
March 19, 2019
This was an informative book with a number of good suggestions.
If you are interested in writing a memoir this would be a very decent reference book.
If you are interested in writing a memoir this would be a very decent reference book.
May 22, 2021
Most of this book is just quotes and essays from other writers, rather than a look into this memoirist’s actual process. Feels pretty pedantic and basic
May 29, 2023
Some great advice on how to craft a memoir with intention.
June 16, 2023
Informative and helpful for those topics that some books don't cover, like writing about special needs or sexuality. Did feel like there were more essays from other writers than necessary.
August 4, 2023
Awesome a great resource.
August 17, 2023
I enjoyed this book, as the author focused on various aspects of writing memoir that I was wondering about -- mostly how to write about family and the various legal conundrums a writer could face if she didn't get permissions.
January 5, 2016
I won this book in a contest, but it had been on my to-read list as part of my research in writing about your family history. Most people who wish to write about their family history probably won't do it as a memoir because a lot of it didn't happen to them. However, there are some people, adoptees searching for their biological family for example, who may wish to do so. With that in mind, I wanted to read this book.
If you plan on writing a memoir, I do highly recommend this book. I don't have a memoir in me (right now anyway), but even then this book gave wonderful advice on writing about real people, real secrets, and what could happen because of that. Always though there was the advice to tell your truth - tell your memory of events (as that is what a memoir is; it's not an autobiography), and be sure there is a reason why you must tell it. The book is inspiring in its stories from other memoirists at the end of each chapter. In that, you get much more than just the author's experience of writing memoirs, but many more.
As far as it's use in writing family history, it's there, definitely. However, I feel this book would be most beneficial to someone who went through something and changed somehow and wishes to reflect on it and share what she learned from the experience. Can that be from learning about your family history? Absolutely. But this book has so much more to give than just that point of view.
If you plan on writing a memoir, I do highly recommend this book. I don't have a memoir in me (right now anyway), but even then this book gave wonderful advice on writing about real people, real secrets, and what could happen because of that. Always though there was the advice to tell your truth - tell your memory of events (as that is what a memoir is; it's not an autobiography), and be sure there is a reason why you must tell it. The book is inspiring in its stories from other memoirists at the end of each chapter. In that, you get much more than just the author's experience of writing memoirs, but many more.
As far as it's use in writing family history, it's there, definitely. However, I feel this book would be most beneficial to someone who went through something and changed somehow and wishes to reflect on it and share what she learned from the experience. Can that be from learning about your family history? Absolutely. But this book has so much more to give than just that point of view.
December 31, 2014
Kerry Cohen gets right to the point that troubles memoir writers--how do you handle sensitive material? Should you wait for your parents to die if your memoir will hurt them? What about your memories compared to other members of your family who may not have the same memories? How should you write about someone who is disabled? How about small children--they will have an opinion at some point in their lives about what you write.
Cohen does more than say, "this is YOUR book and YOUR memories"--although she says that, too. She gives good advice, asks great questions, and best of all, publishes some real memoir portions that demonstrate the difficult situations she mentions. And she interviews people whose families were unhappy about what was written about them.
It's a useful guide for all memoir writers, even experienced ones.
Cohen does more than say, "this is YOUR book and YOUR memories"--although she says that, too. She gives good advice, asks great questions, and best of all, publishes some real memoir portions that demonstrate the difficult situations she mentions. And she interviews people whose families were unhappy about what was written about them.
It's a useful guide for all memoir writers, even experienced ones.
January 21, 2015
I read Loose Girl by Cohen and fell in love with her style. As a writer of memoir myself, I found The Truth of Memoir invaluable, especially chapter 7 on legal issues. This is a must read for anyone even thinking about writing a memoir. But even if you just like reading personal stories, you'll love the book. Cohen artfully defines the parameters of memoir and gleans advice from authors well-versed in every subset of the genre. The greatest gift of this book is that it compiles advice about the craft of writing one's story from so many different authors. This kind of professional "crowd-sourcing" is especially effective because there is no danger of its being one-sided,and the advice she's collected is extensive. The end result is a comprehensive "how-to" that everyone who writes or reads nonfiction will enjoy. After reading the book, I now have a long list of memoir authors to read.
October 1, 2016
This is absolutely the kind of book I needed to read. As I've decided to pick up a sort of how-to/memoir manuscript I started like five years ago, to tinker with it again. I keep thinking about sharing *other* people's stories and the best way to do so kindly. Cohen covers this fully through her own experience and through other memoirists' experiences. I wish there was a more black & white rule: when to share, how to share, if you need to contact people you haven't seen in years, decades, and let them know, "Ummmm ... this thing exists. Or it could exist." No one seems to agree on the best how-to, but their experiences are excellent at helping writers figure out what is best for them. Changing details is important. So is being unfailingly kind. So, for the time being, that's the goal.
February 3, 2015
Lots of good sound advice here, backed up by examples from a variety of writers of all ranks. My copy is earmarked and post-it-noted, and it has helped me give feedback in my creative non-fiction class. A good resource.
Note on a potential danger with this book: you go broke buying all the memoirs you hear tantalizing snippets of in these pages.
Note on a potential danger with this book: you go broke buying all the memoirs you hear tantalizing snippets of in these pages.
February 12, 2015
I'm beginning to journal again and write again so I've been looking at various books on storytelling. This book was okay but the advice on it is pretty much common sense.
April 20, 2015
The chapter on legal issues is quite informative.
Displaying 1 - 28 of 29 reviews