Bou Meng: A Survivor from Khmer Rouge Prison S-21

by Huy Vannak

After 30 years, Bou Meng has largely moved beyond the need for personal revenge.

Genres: Nonfiction, History, Biography, Memoir, Biography Memoir, War, Asia

80 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2010

About the author

Huy Vannak is a researcher and journalist who has also held posts in the Cambodian public service.

Reviews

[Fadillah · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Hopelessness made me weaker and weaker. From day to day, i was delusional, waiting for death. No one knew if they could live another day. Everyone become hostage of starvation, fear and death”.
- Bou Meng (A survivor from Khmer Rouge Prison S-21) by Huy Vanak
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Who would have thought 80 pages book could wreck me emotionally? i was on the train commuting to work but i can’t just stop my tears while reading this. The fact that Bou Meng did not fully get closure in finding his wife remains until now is heart breaking. He has confronted many of his torturers during the tribunal hearing to get justice for those who have been wronged , tortured mercilessly and killed during Khmer Rogue. Bou meng and his wife is one of the many stories among Young Cambodians that were being misled to believe in Democratic Kampuchea Regime at that time. Both of them believe in the revolution, serving the regime - contributing their skills to achieve what Pol Pot envisioned for Cambodia only to be unlawfully detained and tortured at the end of the day. Bou Meng did ask what did he do wrong but none of the answer given by the officer is valid as they doubted him for having a connection with CIA. Bou Meng tasks and duties for the regime is usually involved drawing as he is an artist - either drawing Pol Pot’s portrait or machines equipment, Bou meng could not connect how it led to the CIA suspicion by his former superiors. This book also compiled some of the statements made by the ex-khmer rouge leaders - among them is the head of s-21, former chief of national assembly and brother number 3 (an architect of killing fields). While some showed remorse and apologise for their atrocious crime, some felt they should not be blamed as they were just following the order. It reminded me of “The banality of evil by Hannah Arendt”. The book did provide brief framework of Cambodia History (from French Colonizer to the kingdom of Cambodia Regime) , it is not detailed but adequate for readers to know its history. I have been to Cambodia and have visited these killing fields. It is not easy to visit places that has torn apart families during the regime. Overall, A brief but heart wrenching read. I would recommend this if you wanted to read a short memoir of Cambodian that survived during the Khmer Rouge.

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have spent the last 9 months researching the Cambodian genocide and I wish I had come across this book earlier. Bou Meng does an excellent job providing a brief, yet descriptive account of his life during the Khmer Rouge. After meeting Bou Meng and hearing him speak it was very interesting to read a longer account of his experience. Also the research aspects before and after his story provide relevant information in regards to the neccisity of a tribunal and the importance of ending the culture of impunity. If you want a more detailed account I recommend "First They Killed my Father" or "Stay Alive, My Son" neither of the books is academic, but both provide a personal memoir. The first being from the perspective of a child and the latter from the perspective of an adult.

[Hannah Aimee · Rating 5 out of 5]

After meeting this man at S-21 and seeing the horrible place in person, reading this book hurt my heart. However, such an educational read to truly learn what horrors the Khmer Rouge out the Khmer people through.

[Maureen Mclelland · Rating 5 out of 5]

When we visited the Killing Fields and the S21 prison in Phnom Penh we were very humbled to meet three survivors of the genocide. Each had written a book about their ordeals and the aftermath of the Tribunals. Their stories were absolutely horrifying. Bou Meng’s story was on a different level than the others, very intimate and personal. I will never forget what I learned from my visit to Cambodia and what he shared in his memoir. What an amazing human being.

[Mitchell Yore · Rating 4 out of 5]

An actually crazy true story of one of the few people that survived S-21. Bou Meng was a Monk, artist, communist comrade, prisoner and torture victim, and worker at S-21 where he spent 3 years. Very interesting and sad read, and a story that was shared with 8 million people in the late 1970s. Insane that the Khmer Rouge regime takeover isn't taught more worldwide.

[Holly · Rating 3 out of 5]

A moving account. It was an honour to meet Bou Meng and grateful that he has dedicated his life to sharing his experience surviving the Khmer Rouge genocide.

[Kaila · Rating 5 out of 5]

To meet a survivor of genocide in Cambodia and read this story of his actually brings tears to my eyes. To know that genocide is currently happening as I live in this period of history is most disturbing and devastating. Not only of the genocide that we hear about in the news (we all know of the one I refer to) but in other parts of the world where it is not as highlighted. 💔

[Jack · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fick prata med författaren när jag besökte S-21 tidigare i år. Låt mig bara säga att jag hade inte varit lika rationell och sund om jag hade gått igenom samma helvete som honom.

[Jack · Rating 4 out of 5]

A greatly moving account and research.

[Abhijat Chowdhary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rating: 5/5

There are few experiences in life which force an individual to reassess the privilege that is life itself. Today was one such experience for me. While visiting the Toul Sleng genocide museum (or S21), the infamous site for countless human atrocities during the Khmer Rouge regime (1975-79). Over 14000 people were killed in this prison camp alone within these four years. By the end of the regime, only 7 known survivers were left to tell this harrowing tale of torture, misery and human rights violation of the worst kind.

Bou Meng is one of those survivors. I had the utmost privilege of meeting the man himself and getting a signed copy of this book. The audio tour of the museum had already wrenched my heart, but meeting the man and seeing all of his miseries reflected in his eyes and voice made my eyes tear up and I couldn't help myself from shaking his hands again and again.

This book further filled in the gaps and took me on a journey. Paranoia and Fear turn humans into savages and this story is a prime example of that.

As the narrator emphasises during the audio tour, I am now a keeper of this story and am responsible for sharing it with others. If you get the chance to visit the beautiful country of Cambodia take an hour or two to visit this site. If not, this book is a close approximation of the same experience.

[Ria George · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bou Meng's account of the atrocities committed against himself and his fellow Cambodians by the Khmer Rouge added to the heaviness I've been feeling in my heart ever since my visit to the Killing fields and S21 prison. This book is a detailed account of one of the 14 survivors about his life during the Khmer Rouge reign. He survived the torture just because he was a skilled artist and the Khmer Rouge wanted him alive to draw the portraits of Pol pot and other leaders. He is now the voice of the less fortunate 3 million human lives who were tortured to death during the period of 1976-79. For those who have not been to the S21 prison museum , this book will be a good credible source of information about life during the Khmer Rouge reign in Cambodia.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recently visited S-21, and I had the distinct honor of running into Mr. Bou at the museum. He visits nearly every day, and sells signed copies of this book to those who pass through. I gladly paid for it and eagerly read the book when I got back to the hotel.
The book itself is riveting, a quick read, but profound. It fills in a much larger picture of the Khmer Rouge, and a much more personal one. Anyone interested in this, Cambodia, or genocide, should give it a read.

[Karina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I value and hold this book very dearly as it hits home for me. I hear similar stories from my own parents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents because they too were victims of the very same war in Cambodia.

The stories of Bou Meng's experiences are very heavy, sad, and true. Reading this book reminds us of history that should not be repeated.

[Diem Vu · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had the pleasure of getting this book from the man himself during a chilling visit to the Toul Sleng Genocide Museum. Reading someone's first hand experience through a very dark time in Cambodian history, give you some idea of how much it affects the lives of the people.

[John Musgrove · Rating 5 out of 5]

Harrowing and horrifying. As a first-hand account from a survivor of the Khmer Rouge, it is heartbreaking to discover how awful humans can be toward people that have no defenses.

I was honored to meet this gentleman when we toured Cambodia in December 2015.

[Nassib · Rating 4 out of 5]

Met Mr Bou Meng a last week was such an amazing experience and heartfelt it's a must read

[Stephaniepreising · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was an incredible book..I couldn't believe the horrors I read. I would recommend it to everyone, this book impacted in me down to my core.

[iansomething · Rating 4 out of 5]

The inhuman genocide atrocities during the Khmer Rogue era are hard to fathom but exist as sad realities of Cambodia’s history. I visited Cambodia in 2012 and went to The Killing Fields and The Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum where I met Bou Meng. He was there sitting at a stall selling this very book along with works of his art. I purchased a copy, shook his hand and thanked him. Admittedly, It was only until today that I read the book which was stored away in a box filled with travel paraphernalia and trinkets. It was a moving and horrific account of those times that destroyed and killed millions of innocent lives. Bou Meng remains as one of the very few survivors from the prison who shares his story to seek justice for himself, his deceased relatives, love ones and his countries people.

Today Cambodia is a country of composed solely of victims, perpetrators and their children. Victims and perpetrators live with each other in the same communities under a “culture of impunity”. No single credible trial of Khmer Rogue leaders have been held. Because of this, many Khmer Rogue survivors still suffer depression and other psychological symptoms. Justice is not only for the victims, but to heal the wounds of the nation. By learning about the history of the past is one way to give peace for the dead and to bring hope for the present. Meanwhile, Cambodian people believe that the full healing will come only once Cambodia restores living conditions, provides development, and enhances human rights.

In the early 1980’s former Khmer Rouge youth were arrested, burnt alive, beaten or axed to death, and buried under rocks by the people. Some youths committed suicide, while others fled the country.

Boy Meng has painted more than 100 pictures, many illustrating his detention and torture at S-21 prison. He draws to teach a generation about the history of his county under the rule of Pol Pot. Boy Meng hopes his art will inspire the world to prevent a repeat of Cambodia’s painful past.

We do not know who is who. Silence is better than knowing more.

If a dog bites you, you don’t bite back.

[Zade Ahmad Rani · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ia mengisahkan tentang Bou Meng, seorang rakyat Kampuchea yang terperangkap dalam rejim Khmer Rouge. Kekejaman rejim itu telah menyebabkan Bou Meng merana sejak 1975 hingga ke hari ini. Beliau telah kehilangan isteri dan dua orang anaknya akibat dari tindakan rejim tersebut, yang tidak berperikemanusiaan.

Buku ini ditulis oleh Huy Vannak, setelah dia menemuramah Bou Meng. Tujuan Bou Meng, yang kini telah berusia 79 tahun, menceritakan semua pengalamannya kepada Huy Vannak hanya satu - untuk mendapatkan keadilan terhadap kesengsaraan yang telah dilaluinya. Oleh yang demikian, buku ini ditulis dengan kata ganti nama pertama iaitu "i" (saya).

Dikatakan hanya 7 orang dewasa sahaja yang terselamat dari penjara S-21 di mana Bou Meng telah dikurung dan diseksa dan hanya 3 masih hidup sehingga kini. Seramai kira-kira 20,000 dilaporkan telah dibunuh di penjara ini.

Rejim Khmer Rouge juga dikatakan telah menyebabkan kematian ke atas lebih 2 juta penduduk Kampuchea atau kira-kira 25% dari jumlah populasinya!

[Madalyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had done my research and read a couple of books before visiting Cambodia and the S21 Museum. At the museum, my husband decided to buy this book to help support Bou Meng and so we could learn more. I thought it was very strange when the lady assisting Bou Meng asked if we wanted a picture with him as we were buying the book; it just seemed inappropriate given the setting.
I did read the book from cover to cover, and learned a few new things from Bou Ming’s perspective. However the book could use some editing and updating. My copy included about 30 extra pages in the middle, which seemed to be a misprint. And at the end information is given about trials, but no later than 2008 (I’m sure there were some relevant changes in the last 10 years).
Not so sure where my money went, if it wasn’t to maintain the book, and there was no sign stating that any portion went to maintenance of the museum or to other related charities.

[Elliot Parker · Rating 4 out of 5]

I purchased this book from Bou Meng himself. A miraculous story of survival that I felt was let down somewhat by the actual writing. Out of the tens of thousands of people that went into S21 prison, only a handful survived. Bou Meng has miraculous mental fortitude and strength to remain in that place despite all the hardships he suffered. It was a pleasure to be in the presence of such a powerful character, albeit only momentarily. However, the things I saw at the killing fields (especially the smaller one in Siem Reap) will forever be etched into my soul. If something as atrocious as that can happen in Cambodia, then it can happen anywhere in the world. We must continue to love one another and respect our differences to avoid such a catastrophe from occurring again.

[Katherine Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

I met Mr. Bou Meng in 2018 at the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum, the former Khmer Rouge prison S-21 where he and 14,000 other Cambodians were tortured, most killed. Only 14 prisoners survived. Bou Meng's wife was taken from this prison to the Killing Fields and executed there. His two young children starved in a children's "home." I went to the Killing Fields, Choeung Ek.

Bou Meng is spending his life witnessing for the millions of Cambodians who died during the reign of the Khmer Rouge.

I do not wonder why we are so frightened by today's political situation. We deny the horrors we are capable of to our detriment. We must confront such horrors at every innocuous step they take forward and stand in their way. Thank you Bou Meng.

[M.W. Lee · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very short read, but filled with emotion. Bou Meng's book is historically significant and could be used in high schools to expose young teens of the horrors of the Khmer rouge. The language is easy to read and understand, the topics are difficult to grasps. I have trouble even after visiting the country and seeing the killing fields and the museum. As I read the memoir, I remember what I had seen and how it affected me. A good read for parent and child to read together and walk through.

[Stephanie Quesnelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I bought this book from Bou Meng himself outside of S-21, now a museum about the genocide. It's sat on a shelf for a couple of years but I finally decided to read it. It's a hard read about how the Cambodian communist regime offered so much hope and then just started killing people. It highlights the truly random nature of the persecution, a genocide of millions of Cambodians. The discussion about justice was particularly interesting, with the survivors of this prison having wildly different opinions on what justice means.

There are some language barriers but it's so good.

[Mark · Rating 4 out of 5]

My daughter brought this book back from a trip to Cambodia where she had visited the Museum of Genocide and the Killing Fields. The book is the memoir of one of the few survivors of S -21 prison. Although very harrowing, the tone of the memoir is low key and understated. Bou Meng struggles to understand why he was imprisoned and to forgive the Khmer Rouge officials responsible for the deaths of his entire family. It’s difficult for us to comprehend what went on in Cambodia, but this little book helps.

[Heather]

This feels like a strange book to rate. It was so terribly sad and depressing. Something that’s interesting is I do feel like it requires some background knowledge, as it’s more one man’s experience than a history book. Very jarring especially given us going to the museum.

Something that was confusing to me was the POV. Like I think it was translated by a guy that grew up in New Jersey? But there were a lot of typos which made it confusing at times.

[Jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

We purchased this book at the S-21 prison in Phnom Penh, from Bou Meng. One doesn’t “visit” this prison or the killing fields but rather passes through where unfathomable horrors of inhumanity toward fellow human beings took place, unable to comprehend what actually happened. Meng’s narrative is powerful and deals not jsut with his experiences but the aftermath in Cambodia and the issues of justice, forgiveness, and carrying on…

[Alex · Rating 4 out of 5]

Important story to tell here and the message/story is conveyed. The translation is a little rough and the storyline isn’t cohesive (as well as some grammatical issues). Overall, this book is really impactful for anyone learning about the Khmer Rouge for the first time.

[Zack Formby · Rating 4 out of 5]

Utterly shocking. The Cambodian Genocide occurring 30 years after the Holocaust is terrifying. Humans perpetually make the same mistakes. How could something like this happen?

Visiting Tuol Sleng and seeing Bou Meng in person was an experience I’ll never forget.

Great book, easy to read.

[Karen Powers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not well written or translated… or both… but a very moving account of Bou Meng’s experience under the Khmer Rouge. I gave it a four because of that, and the importance of everyone understanding the horrible atrocities that are committed.