Consider This: Reflections for Finding Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab
5h 4m narrated by the Author - Nedra Glover Tawwab, 413 pages
Genre: Self Help, Self-Actualization, Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Improvement, Family & Relationships
Features: Inspirational Nuggets, Grudge Versus Boundary, Emotional Neglect, Loving Yourself, Old Me Versus New Me, Healthy People Pleasing Versus Unhealthy People Pleasing, Nurturing Yourself, Follow Your Energy Instead of Matching the Energy of Others, Know When To Let Go, Label Your Feelings, Anxiety, Integrity, You Are Half of Any Relationship You're In, Stories You Tell, Forgive Yourself, 7 Ways To Respond to a Mean Comment
Rating as a movie: PG-13 for adult situations
Quotes: The difference between holding a grudge and holding a boundary is the following: Am I trying to teach someone a lesson, or am I keeping myself safe and comfortable in this relationship? Boundaries are not weapons, and they are not tools to control others.
Critical thinking is an essential life skill. Our mental health is diminished when we absentmindedly follow what we see without deep thought. If you see something on social media or the internet, or you hear a suggestion that doesn’t work for your situation, don’t apply it. Most advice is general, and everything mentioned won’t fit your individual needs.
Enabling is rooted in profound caring and trying to fix, as well as a feeling of powerlessness. Watching a loved one suffer can be unbearable, and doing something to save them from their despair feels like caring even when it’s self-depleting. It takes time to learn how to offer as much help as possible without depleting yourself. Once you recognize that you can’t possess power over others, you will move away from your role as a fixer. Care without becoming consumed by it.
You want to be considerate, but you can’t always consider others. You can want people to be happy, but you can’t promise your behaviors will make them happy. Healthy people-pleasing is what you are willing to do for a relationship without harming yourself or constantly sacrificing your own needs. Unhealthy people-pleasing is when you rarely say no, give when you can’t, and sacrifice to your detriment. Healthy people-pleasing won’t lead to resentment and can be positive for your relationships. Please others but know when you’re giving too much.
When we're particular about how we organize our home we say we're OCD, when we're actually just organized. When someone ignores us or is inconsiderate of our feelings we call them a narcissist. We turn them into a bad person when the truth is more likely much more complex. OCD is not about being organized. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is when you have compulsive thoughts or behaviors that are seen as unreasonable. For example, when you have OCD you don't organize, you feel anxious or depressed, you have some sort of repetitive behaviors that you must do; it goes far beyond a desire to keep a clean home. When we come across new information we tend to view it from a simplistic lens. Be mindful when applying a term.
Songs for the soundtrack: "Imagine" by John Lennon
Books and Authors mentioned: Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear, The Set Boundaries Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab
My rating: 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🤔💭
My thoughts: This is certainly a book to revisit throughout the years. It has a tidbit format and that works better than the usual topics format most non-fiction books use.
Recommend to others: Yes. I'm going to give this to someone for Christmas.