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The Table Where We Meet: Lessons Learned from Dinner with 1,000 Strangers
We all want to be known. Most of us just don't know how to begin.
When Jess Janz found herself craving deeper conversations—but trapped in a world of small talk—she took a leap. What started as a casual idea in a hair salon soon became Dinner With a growing movement where guests gather around a table, introduce themselves without ever mentioning work, and share who they are beyond the job title. No scripts, no expectations—just curiosity, courage, and a seat at the table.
In The Table Where We Meet, Jess reflects on what she's learned from hosting dinners with more than a thousand strangers across North America. With essays that are both tender and practical, she explores what it means to belong, how to ask better questions, and why connection requires us to risk being truly seen. Alongside her insights are unforgettable stories—funny, heartbreaking, deeply human—that reveal how much we all have in common when we finally let our guard down.
This is a book for anyone who's ever felt alone in a crowd, tired of surface-level chatter, or unsure how to bridge the gap between isolation and intimacy. The Table Where We Meet is a guide, a memoir, and a quiet revolution—one dinner at a time.
When Jess Janz found herself craving deeper conversations—but trapped in a world of small talk—she took a leap. What started as a casual idea in a hair salon soon became Dinner With a growing movement where guests gather around a table, introduce themselves without ever mentioning work, and share who they are beyond the job title. No scripts, no expectations—just curiosity, courage, and a seat at the table.
In The Table Where We Meet, Jess reflects on what she's learned from hosting dinners with more than a thousand strangers across North America. With essays that are both tender and practical, she explores what it means to belong, how to ask better questions, and why connection requires us to risk being truly seen. Alongside her insights are unforgettable stories—funny, heartbreaking, deeply human—that reveal how much we all have in common when we finally let our guard down.
This is a book for anyone who's ever felt alone in a crowd, tired of surface-level chatter, or unsure how to bridge the gap between isolation and intimacy. The Table Where We Meet is a guide, a memoir, and a quiet revolution—one dinner at a time.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published July 14, 2026
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 86 reviews
July 24, 2026
What a great read!
What started as an idea in a hair salon Jess Janz created Dinner With Strangers: a growing development where guests gather around a table, greet everyone without ever mentioning work and share who they are beyond what they do for a living.
This unique book teaches us how to meet and connect with people and to find the courage we need to truly see and be seen by others.
She gives us funny, heartbreaking and deeply human stories that she reflects on from hearing them from hosting dinners for more than a thousand strangers across North America.
An important read about human connection and how to enact it.
Thank you to NetGalley and Harper Collins Canada for an arc of this book in exchange for my honest review.
What started as an idea in a hair salon Jess Janz created Dinner With Strangers: a growing development where guests gather around a table, greet everyone without ever mentioning work and share who they are beyond what they do for a living.
This unique book teaches us how to meet and connect with people and to find the courage we need to truly see and be seen by others.
She gives us funny, heartbreaking and deeply human stories that she reflects on from hearing them from hosting dinners for more than a thousand strangers across North America.
An important read about human connection and how to enact it.
Thank you to NetGalley and Harper Collins Canada for an arc of this book in exchange for my honest review.
July 22, 2026
I really liked parts of this (like being introduced to the poem "The Pedagogy of Conflict" by Pádraig Ó Tuama) and thought much of it kinda boring. I'm glad the author wrote it, as there were some fine ideas that need to be in the zeitgeist.
September 5, 2026
This book isn't my usual choice, but when I received it through the Sourcebooks Reviewer Hub, I was intrigued by its concept. I got the audiobook, which is perfect for listening to a chapter and then reflecting on it later. This is the kind of book you can take your time with, as each chapter is filled with interesting thoughts, experiences, and reflections on what the author has learned.
Jess Janz tackles a question that often looms in our minds: Are we capable of having genuine conversations with strangers? She explores whether we can truly listen, offer suggestions, or be present with others without our noses buried in our phones. The points she raises are thought-provoking, and you'll likely find yourself nodding along, recognizing truths about our modern interactions.
Many of us have hidden behind our jobs or online personas, but that’s not who we really are. The pandemic has particularly affected our ability to communicate face-to-face and seek human connections. We’ve grown so accustomed to video calls and messaging rather than talking directly. Jess discusses how technology influences our lives and behaviors, ultimately deciding to host a thousand dinners with strangers to document her experiences and insights.
Some chapters resonate more than others, but with each dinner, you gain valuable insights into what drives people, the behaviors they exhibit, and how beneficial this project was for many participants. The book teaches us how to ask better questions and engage in deeper conversations that reveal our vulnerabilities. There were days when I'd listen to just one chapter, letting its lesson sink in.
If you’re seeking deeper connections in this disconnected world, or if you’re a host looking to ask better questions, or even if you’re curious about what it truly means to share a meal with strangers, this book is for you. I highly recommend it, as the experiences and takeaways are truly invaluable. The communities you meet through Jess's book are simply unforgettable.
The audiobook is narrated by the author, Jess Janz, who is both outspoken and articulate. Her voice truly draws you into each dinner conversation. I found myself completely captivated by her delivery. I highly recommend it!
Thank you, Sourcebook Reviewer Hub, for the DRC copy. I am leaving this review voluntarily.
Jess Janz tackles a question that often looms in our minds: Are we capable of having genuine conversations with strangers? She explores whether we can truly listen, offer suggestions, or be present with others without our noses buried in our phones. The points she raises are thought-provoking, and you'll likely find yourself nodding along, recognizing truths about our modern interactions.
Many of us have hidden behind our jobs or online personas, but that’s not who we really are. The pandemic has particularly affected our ability to communicate face-to-face and seek human connections. We’ve grown so accustomed to video calls and messaging rather than talking directly. Jess discusses how technology influences our lives and behaviors, ultimately deciding to host a thousand dinners with strangers to document her experiences and insights.
Some chapters resonate more than others, but with each dinner, you gain valuable insights into what drives people, the behaviors they exhibit, and how beneficial this project was for many participants. The book teaches us how to ask better questions and engage in deeper conversations that reveal our vulnerabilities. There were days when I'd listen to just one chapter, letting its lesson sink in.
If you’re seeking deeper connections in this disconnected world, or if you’re a host looking to ask better questions, or even if you’re curious about what it truly means to share a meal with strangers, this book is for you. I highly recommend it, as the experiences and takeaways are truly invaluable. The communities you meet through Jess's book are simply unforgettable.
The audiobook is narrated by the author, Jess Janz, who is both outspoken and articulate. Her voice truly draws you into each dinner conversation. I found myself completely captivated by her delivery. I highly recommend it!
Thank you, Sourcebook Reviewer Hub, for the DRC copy. I am leaving this review voluntarily.
July 26, 2026
this book made feel hopeful and happy to be a human 😌
August 18, 2026
Jess Janz is a truly beautiful soul. I think we need community now more than ever. And that is what this audiobook is about. Jess Janz came up with an idea to invite strangers to have dinner together. And to discuss personal things about their lives. Soon this idea grew and grew to something so meaningful! This audiobook is extremely moving and emotional, and imperative for a post-2020 world. I listened to the audiobook narrated by Jess Janz herself and it was STUNNING! Hearing the story from the person who created it all is extremely impactful. Her voice is perfect for narrating and the sound quality was superb! This audiobook will remind you of how beautiful humanity is!
Thank you SourceBooks Audio Influencer Program for providing this audiobook for review consideration. All opinions are my own.
Thank you SourceBooks Audio Influencer Program for providing this audiobook for review consideration. All opinions are my own.
July 11, 2026
This book had me engaged right from the start and kept me hooked the whole way through. Jess’ heart shines through and makes you feel warm and cozy and seen. The book is hopeful, thought provoking, and makes you want to dream impossible dreams (and believe you CAN achieve them). Jess is funny, genuine, kind and, witty. An excellent addition to any summer reading list.
Full disclosure: I am related to the author
Full disclosure: I am related to the author
July 30, 2026
Thank you to Sourcebooks for providing me with an ALC of this title.
This was a very quick listen, and I thought the concept was interesting. Even though it isn’t a memoir, it definitely has memoir vibes as the author reflects on conversations, communication, and the connections we make with other people.
I liked the happier and more hopeful perspective on life, and the conversations shared were interesting enough to keep me listening. However, I expected to hear more actual lessons and stories from the strangers she met. Instead, it felt more focused on the author’s own thoughts about communication, which made parts of it a little boring for me.
Would I recommend it? Maybe. I think it could work well for readers who enjoy reflective nonfiction, but it wasn’t what I expected.
This was a very quick listen, and I thought the concept was interesting. Even though it isn’t a memoir, it definitely has memoir vibes as the author reflects on conversations, communication, and the connections we make with other people.
I liked the happier and more hopeful perspective on life, and the conversations shared were interesting enough to keep me listening. However, I expected to hear more actual lessons and stories from the strangers she met. Instead, it felt more focused on the author’s own thoughts about communication, which made parts of it a little boring for me.
Would I recommend it? Maybe. I think it could work well for readers who enjoy reflective nonfiction, but it wasn’t what I expected.
August 16, 2026
I wanted to like The Table Where We Meet more than I did, because I agree with its basic idea: our conversations can be more meaningful, and genuine human connection matters.
But for me, the book repeatedly confused vulnerability with intimacy.
I don’t believe that asking strangers deeply personal questions automatically creates meaningful connection. Vulnerability needs trust, timing, mutual interest, and some kind of relationship around it. Otherwise, it can feel less like intimacy and more like “passenger honesty”- the kind of disclosure that happens precisely because you may never see this person again.
Throughout the book, I kept feeling that emotional intensity was being presented as proof of depth. But telling someone your most painful story does not necessarily mean that person truly knows you.
I also struggled with the structure. At times it felt less like a developed reflection on what the author learned through these dinners and more like separate notes or personal realizations collected together. I wanted more doubt, more self-questioning, and more examination of where this experiment might fail. Instead, many of the author’s personal experiences and insecurities felt as though they were being presented as universal truths.
There were questions I kept waiting for the book to explore: What happens when someone does not want to be vulnerable? What happens when two people’s values fundamentally conflict? Is listening always the right response? Do these intense conversations actually create relationships, or simply intense moments?
I finished the book with a strange feeling: I think I will remember its aftertaste much more than I will remember what the book actually said.
I still agree that we could have more meaningful conversations. I just don’t believe meaningfulness can be forced.
Forced vulnerability can imitate intimacy, but it cannot create a relationship.
But for me, the book repeatedly confused vulnerability with intimacy.
I don’t believe that asking strangers deeply personal questions automatically creates meaningful connection. Vulnerability needs trust, timing, mutual interest, and some kind of relationship around it. Otherwise, it can feel less like intimacy and more like “passenger honesty”- the kind of disclosure that happens precisely because you may never see this person again.
Throughout the book, I kept feeling that emotional intensity was being presented as proof of depth. But telling someone your most painful story does not necessarily mean that person truly knows you.
I also struggled with the structure. At times it felt less like a developed reflection on what the author learned through these dinners and more like separate notes or personal realizations collected together. I wanted more doubt, more self-questioning, and more examination of where this experiment might fail. Instead, many of the author’s personal experiences and insecurities felt as though they were being presented as universal truths.
There were questions I kept waiting for the book to explore: What happens when someone does not want to be vulnerable? What happens when two people’s values fundamentally conflict? Is listening always the right response? Do these intense conversations actually create relationships, or simply intense moments?
I finished the book with a strange feeling: I think I will remember its aftertaste much more than I will remember what the book actually said.
I still agree that we could have more meaningful conversations. I just don’t believe meaningfulness can be forced.
Forced vulnerability can imitate intimacy, but it cannot create a relationship.
August 8, 2026
This was good! I liked a lot of the different topics discussed in the chapters, especially the one on friendship. But I do kind of wish it was more of an interview style instead of just discussing what happened at the dinners she hosted. Also, the writing was kind of millennial cringe at some points. But overall, a good, easy read!
September 7, 2026
4 or 4.5!
A friend sent me this book and it was a delight to read. I enjoyed the stories shared from attendees of those events, especially the one about the gentleman and his friend who texted the color of the ties each morning. I thought the reflection throughout the chapters was helpful to understand what the author was trying to convey with each story shared.
Overall, I liked the encouragement to bring more joy into small everyday interactions. She emphasized how we can start where we are, which is truthful and important.
"Find the people who seem to have found the light and hitch your weary heart to them."
A friend sent me this book and it was a delight to read. I enjoyed the stories shared from attendees of those events, especially the one about the gentleman and his friend who texted the color of the ties each morning. I thought the reflection throughout the chapters was helpful to understand what the author was trying to convey with each story shared.
Overall, I liked the encouragement to bring more joy into small everyday interactions. She emphasized how we can start where we are, which is truthful and important.
"Find the people who seem to have found the light and hitch your weary heart to them."
July 25, 2026
This was not what I expected. I thought it would be stories/ lessons she learned from dinner with strangers.
It turned out to be her random thoughts about communication/ connection. To be honest it was a bit boring.
It turned out to be her random thoughts about communication/ connection. To be honest it was a bit boring.
July 23, 2026
wow… i will be reading this again. what a beautiful book that made me want to have conversations with strangers
Read
July 21, 2026ily jess janz <3
July 3, 2026
What a beautiful memoir. The Table Where We Meet is thoughtful, reflective, and full of quiet wisdom. I found myself highlighting so many of the author’s observations about human connection, the ways we show up for one another, and how we choose to present ourselves to the world.
One idea that particularly stayed with me was the concept of gathering around a table with strangers where no one is allowed to talk about their job. It challenges us to think about who we are beyond our careers and titles, and whether we define ourselves too much by what we do instead of who we are. I found that perspective incredibly refreshing and thought-provoking.
Throughout the memoir, the author shares poignant reflections on relationships, vulnerability, and community. Her journey is deeply personal, yet the lessons feel universal. The writing is warm, inviting, and encourages readers to slow down and consider what truly matters.
I thoroughly enjoyed both her writing style and the overall feel of the book. It is a gentle, meaningful memoir that reminds us of the importance of connection and the conversations that happen when we allow ourselves to be seen for who we really are.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to preread and review this book.
One idea that particularly stayed with me was the concept of gathering around a table with strangers where no one is allowed to talk about their job. It challenges us to think about who we are beyond our careers and titles, and whether we define ourselves too much by what we do instead of who we are. I found that perspective incredibly refreshing and thought-provoking.
Throughout the memoir, the author shares poignant reflections on relationships, vulnerability, and community. Her journey is deeply personal, yet the lessons feel universal. The writing is warm, inviting, and encourages readers to slow down and consider what truly matters.
I thoroughly enjoyed both her writing style and the overall feel of the book. It is a gentle, meaningful memoir that reminds us of the importance of connection and the conversations that happen when we allow ourselves to be seen for who we really are.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to preread and review this book.
June 26, 2026
Thank you so much sourcebooks audio for this ALC! This audio was such a refreshing listen! It definitely shows you a positive perspective on life. Even though we as individuals may face our own struggles, we’re not alone. I enjoyed the sense of community and reaching out. I loved how the author is the narrator for this one, it makes it feel even more genuine.
September 1, 2026
I clearly forgot what this book was about when I picked it up, but man what a fun surprise!
Jess Janz’s Dinner with Strangers is such a fun idea. This whole book was actually really interesting. For some reason I thought this was fiction and we’d be bopping around between characters and the characters would tell the stories. I didn’t realize it was all from Jess! But I can say that this book has challenged me to think about how I interact with people! I loved the concept of not asking leading questions along with asking more open-ended questions/questions that required more thought than the basic responses we all have engrained into us.
Thank you so much Jess Janz and Sourcebooks Audio for the gifted copy!!
Jess Janz’s Dinner with Strangers is such a fun idea. This whole book was actually really interesting. For some reason I thought this was fiction and we’d be bopping around between characters and the characters would tell the stories. I didn’t realize it was all from Jess! But I can say that this book has challenged me to think about how I interact with people! I loved the concept of not asking leading questions along with asking more open-ended questions/questions that required more thought than the basic responses we all have engrained into us.
Thank you so much Jess Janz and Sourcebooks Audio for the gifted copy!!
September 30, 2026
Thank you to Sourcebooks Audio for an ALC of The Table Where We Meet!
I am so grateful to be in the Sourcebooks Audio influencer group.
Wow. I enjoyed every minute of this book!
Listening to Jess Janz talk about her life, the event she built and why was inspirational. Jess wants to get people talking about themselves, not just their jobs. So she went out with her friends and community to build an event to do just that.
I was inspired by not only Jess' idea but how she put it into the world. A lot of us dream, but never do. Jess put herself out there, to help others put themselves out there and grow. It was beautiful and inspiring.
I am so grateful to be in the Sourcebooks Audio influencer group.
Wow. I enjoyed every minute of this book!
Listening to Jess Janz talk about her life, the event she built and why was inspirational. Jess wants to get people talking about themselves, not just their jobs. So she went out with her friends and community to build an event to do just that.
I was inspired by not only Jess' idea but how she put it into the world. A lot of us dream, but never do. Jess put herself out there, to help others put themselves out there and grow. It was beautiful and inspiring.
August 2, 2026
This book sounded like it would be so interesting and I was so excited to read it. I actually listened to the audio version and the narration was very good. But if I’m being honest, I just found it to be very monotonous and boring and I i think the delivery was more like a lecture than anything. And I just didn’t connect with a lot of it. There were some very interesting points, but they just rambled on to the point that I lost focus.
Read
August 18, 2026This was, to my surprise, very beautifully written. It made me emotional at times, and I honestly wanted to highlight almost half the book.
I don’t think of it as a masterpiece or necessarily something worth reading from a purely literary standpoint, but rather as something you’ll connect with and feel inspired by, especially because it comes from someone who’s as ordinary as anyone else in this world.
I don’t think of it as a masterpiece or necessarily something worth reading from a purely literary standpoint, but rather as something you’ll connect with and feel inspired by, especially because it comes from someone who’s as ordinary as anyone else in this world.
July 31, 2026
Publication Date: July 2026
A memoir with a touch of self-help (which is not my thing) but I did enjoy the listen. Jess Janz has created an interesting concept in which total strangers meet for dinner. Removing the normal parameters of finding commonality about work and hobbies she creates a setting for people to discuss deeper more meaningful connections.
In all fairness if this had been a print book I'd probably not have taken the time to read it but the audio was engaging and I could see myself attending one of the dinners.
Thank you to NetGalley and HarperCollins Canada Audio for opportunity to review this book in exchange for my honest review.
A memoir with a touch of self-help (which is not my thing) but I did enjoy the listen. Jess Janz has created an interesting concept in which total strangers meet for dinner. Removing the normal parameters of finding commonality about work and hobbies she creates a setting for people to discuss deeper more meaningful connections.
In all fairness if this had been a print book I'd probably not have taken the time to read it but the audio was engaging and I could see myself attending one of the dinners.
Thank you to NetGalley and HarperCollins Canada Audio for opportunity to review this book in exchange for my honest review.
August 9, 2026
This is a lovely meditation on the different ways that we connect to each other but more importantly how we can connect better - based on Jess Janz’ “dinners with strangers” who now number in the thousands
August 24, 2026
I love when an audiobook is narrated by the author, especially when it is a nonfiction book.
The Table Where We Meet is equal parts emotion and thought-provoking. A novel about what it means to really connect and listen during conversations, Jess Janz provides a playbook on how to connect with the people around us.
Jess does a phenomenal job balancing showing her own emotions and keeping level-headed, for lack of a better term. I really enjoyed listening to this audiobook that brought so much hope.
Thank you, Source Audiobook program, for the gifted audiobook on Libro.fm for review.
The Table Where We Meet is equal parts emotion and thought-provoking. A novel about what it means to really connect and listen during conversations, Jess Janz provides a playbook on how to connect with the people around us.
Jess does a phenomenal job balancing showing her own emotions and keeping level-headed, for lack of a better term. I really enjoyed listening to this audiobook that brought so much hope.
Thank you, Source Audiobook program, for the gifted audiobook on Libro.fm for review.
July 28, 2026
I saw the delightful Jess Janz at village books last week. I love her story! She is infectious, captivating, authentic and motivating!
July 14, 2026
What an interesting read about community, showing up for each other, and meaningful conversations! This is not the type of book I usually reach for, but I had such a great time, and feel like there are many good takeaways and lessons learned from these essays. The author did a great job narrating, and it definitely makes this feel a lot more personal. I now want to go to a dinner with strangers, even though I am the biggest introvert ever!
Thank you to Sourcebooks Audio for the ALC in exchange for my honest review!
Thank you to Sourcebooks Audio for the ALC in exchange for my honest review!
July 16, 2026
This is such a beautiful book. Fans of Jess Janz’ poetry (myself included) will be delighted to see her style somehow magically adapted to longer form storytelling. It’s thoughtful, entertaining, and probably the reason I just finished an hour long conversation with the person sitting next to me on the ferry. Mission accomplished.
June 23, 2026
If you’re looking for an audiobook that feels like sitting down with a warm, compassionate friend while also giving you a much needed mood boost, look no further.
Jess Janz both wrote and narrated The Table Where We Meet, and I love when authors read their own work. It creates a more intimate experience and adds an extra layer of authenticity to their words.
The book centers around a simple but powerful concept: bringing strangers together over dinner to discuss anything except their jobs. While our careers are often something we work hard for and take pride in, they shouldn’t define the entirety of who we are. Through these conversations, Jess encourages listeners to look beyond titles, have deeper discussions with the people around them, and even reconsider how they view themselves.
The stories that emerge from these dinners are equal parts inspiring, thought provoking, and heartwarming. By the end, I found myself wishing Jess hosted these gatherings somewhere closer than Toronto so I could experience one myself. At the same time, I wondered whether the concept would work as well in places where people feel more divided or less willing to open up to strangers.
When the audiobook ended, I wasn’t ready for it to be over. I could have happily listened to many more stories and conversations. This book felt like a warm hug, and it’s one of those rare listens that I can easily recommend to just about everyone.
Jess Janz both wrote and narrated The Table Where We Meet, and I love when authors read their own work. It creates a more intimate experience and adds an extra layer of authenticity to their words.
The book centers around a simple but powerful concept: bringing strangers together over dinner to discuss anything except their jobs. While our careers are often something we work hard for and take pride in, they shouldn’t define the entirety of who we are. Through these conversations, Jess encourages listeners to look beyond titles, have deeper discussions with the people around them, and even reconsider how they view themselves.
The stories that emerge from these dinners are equal parts inspiring, thought provoking, and heartwarming. By the end, I found myself wishing Jess hosted these gatherings somewhere closer than Toronto so I could experience one myself. At the same time, I wondered whether the concept would work as well in places where people feel more divided or less willing to open up to strangers.
When the audiobook ended, I wasn’t ready for it to be over. I could have happily listened to many more stories and conversations. This book felt like a warm hug, and it’s one of those rare listens that I can easily recommend to just about everyone.
August 21, 2026
A very interesting book on how to connect more and in a deeper way with the people around us. The people create community!!! Let’s drop the meaningless chitchat and change lives through discussion and opening ourselves!
Thank you to Netgalley and Harper Collins Audio for an ALC of this title !
Thank you to Netgalley and Harper Collins Audio for an ALC of this title !
August 27, 2026
How I Came to Read This Book: I believe it was written about in an Indigo email (how Canadian) and I was looking for a new audiobook to consume and it was relatively short.
The Plot: Jess Janz is a lifelong creative who found inspiration in a funny little social experiment: Gathering a group of strangers with the mandate to go deeper than surface level conversation by asking thought-provoking questions and asking people to leave their careers (and any other personal identifiers they didn't feel like owning for the night) at the door. This book is a reflection of things she's learned in seeking meaning and connection with others, alongside her own struggles in the pursuit of creativity, fulfillment, and self-improvement. While many of the essays her dovetail from specific conversations and experiences culled from the dozens of dinners she's hosted, others are more specific and personal to her own life, and still others are reflections and musings on our current state of connection (or lack thereof).
The Good & The Bad: This was an enjoyable, lightly contemplative listen on the whole, especially considering I had very little frame of reference going into it. I won't lie...a part of me does recognize there is probably some Bo Burnham-style "White Women's Instagram" going on here, in that this book, the stories in it, and the mandate of Jess feel quite aligned to a certain type of Millennial woman, which is too bad, really, because the world could learn a fair bit from what she's reflecting on here.
The actual format is what makes it both interesting, but also maybe...not quite what I expected. Large portions of the book are dedicated to personal anecdotes. Occasionally they are reliving stories from the dinners, but a lot of the time it's just things Jess has experienced and how they've changed her worldview or how, upon reflection, she might handle them differently based on how her worldview has been changed from running her 'Dinner with Strangers' program. The anecdotes are written in a present tense which pulls you into little vignettes and conversations and make you feel like you know and relate to this person. But if you're going into this expecting some earth-shattering revelations, or some "helpful tips to break the ice" look elsewhere. That's not exactly what this is (although there are a few questions in here I've filed away to throw into conversations).
Instead, it's light musings that, rather than hit you over the head with them, feel like a warm, encouraging, but also realistic, hug. Unlike a very tactical book like, say, Atomic Habits, this is more about an observational mindset shift. How are you showing up for others? For yourself? How can you go deeper? What opportunities for connection are presenting themselves to you that you might be overlooking? What can you get out of connecting? Are there small yet meaningful ways you can connect? I liked the gentle path here and think it meshed well with Jess' style of writing and her overall ethos...even if I wouldn't have minded a few more concrete takeaways or suggestions. But again, the sort of 'personal essayist' bend to the book makes that okay. It's just a different book than I anticipated.
Jess also muses a lot about the artistic path. If you're an artist, or buying this for one, they'll get another level of meaning out of a lot of what she dives into here, although she realigns "making art" as "follow your dreams" to give her messaging some broader appeal. As someone who writes poetry and had songwriting aspirations, you can sense the lyrical flow of her text, which again, felt like it really worked for the subject matter and sort of buoyant "can't we all just get along" spirit of the book. It never specifically bothered me, at all, but it's worth calling out that tonally, this book sits in a pretty unique category.
As an audiobook, Jess is a good narrator. She has a pleasant voice, infuses her writing with the intended humor and self-deprecation you can tell she wanted to get across on the page, and has a balance between sweetness and seriousness that again, lends itself well to the subject matter. I feel like, but can't confirm, that this is a book where the audiobook is the better medium, if only because I can imagine a few of her self-reflections might come off as trite without hearing her shift in verbal tone.
Anyway - this book has given me a fair bit to think about, particularly as someone who interacts with strangers on a weekly basis, and who believes in the mission behind what Jess has been trying to tap into. It'd be interesting to see her curate something like a discussion guide or table topics or something a bit more concrete than this, but I still enjoyed the experience of drifting along with her.
The Bottom Line: A bright and light (but not slight) manifesto on opportunities for connection if you're looking to adopt a mindset shift in a 'take what works for you' kind of way.
Anything Memorable?: I've been a relatively longtime user of an app that involves connecting with strangers...I definitely tried out a couple of ideas I got from this book on my partner while reading it.
2026 Book Challenge?: Book #53 in 2026
The Plot: Jess Janz is a lifelong creative who found inspiration in a funny little social experiment: Gathering a group of strangers with the mandate to go deeper than surface level conversation by asking thought-provoking questions and asking people to leave their careers (and any other personal identifiers they didn't feel like owning for the night) at the door. This book is a reflection of things she's learned in seeking meaning and connection with others, alongside her own struggles in the pursuit of creativity, fulfillment, and self-improvement. While many of the essays her dovetail from specific conversations and experiences culled from the dozens of dinners she's hosted, others are more specific and personal to her own life, and still others are reflections and musings on our current state of connection (or lack thereof).
The Good & The Bad: This was an enjoyable, lightly contemplative listen on the whole, especially considering I had very little frame of reference going into it. I won't lie...a part of me does recognize there is probably some Bo Burnham-style "White Women's Instagram" going on here, in that this book, the stories in it, and the mandate of Jess feel quite aligned to a certain type of Millennial woman, which is too bad, really, because the world could learn a fair bit from what she's reflecting on here.
The actual format is what makes it both interesting, but also maybe...not quite what I expected. Large portions of the book are dedicated to personal anecdotes. Occasionally they are reliving stories from the dinners, but a lot of the time it's just things Jess has experienced and how they've changed her worldview or how, upon reflection, she might handle them differently based on how her worldview has been changed from running her 'Dinner with Strangers' program. The anecdotes are written in a present tense which pulls you into little vignettes and conversations and make you feel like you know and relate to this person. But if you're going into this expecting some earth-shattering revelations, or some "helpful tips to break the ice" look elsewhere. That's not exactly what this is (although there are a few questions in here I've filed away to throw into conversations).
Instead, it's light musings that, rather than hit you over the head with them, feel like a warm, encouraging, but also realistic, hug. Unlike a very tactical book like, say, Atomic Habits, this is more about an observational mindset shift. How are you showing up for others? For yourself? How can you go deeper? What opportunities for connection are presenting themselves to you that you might be overlooking? What can you get out of connecting? Are there small yet meaningful ways you can connect? I liked the gentle path here and think it meshed well with Jess' style of writing and her overall ethos...even if I wouldn't have minded a few more concrete takeaways or suggestions. But again, the sort of 'personal essayist' bend to the book makes that okay. It's just a different book than I anticipated.
Jess also muses a lot about the artistic path. If you're an artist, or buying this for one, they'll get another level of meaning out of a lot of what she dives into here, although she realigns "making art" as "follow your dreams" to give her messaging some broader appeal. As someone who writes poetry and had songwriting aspirations, you can sense the lyrical flow of her text, which again, felt like it really worked for the subject matter and sort of buoyant "can't we all just get along" spirit of the book. It never specifically bothered me, at all, but it's worth calling out that tonally, this book sits in a pretty unique category.
As an audiobook, Jess is a good narrator. She has a pleasant voice, infuses her writing with the intended humor and self-deprecation you can tell she wanted to get across on the page, and has a balance between sweetness and seriousness that again, lends itself well to the subject matter. I feel like, but can't confirm, that this is a book where the audiobook is the better medium, if only because I can imagine a few of her self-reflections might come off as trite without hearing her shift in verbal tone.
Anyway - this book has given me a fair bit to think about, particularly as someone who interacts with strangers on a weekly basis, and who believes in the mission behind what Jess has been trying to tap into. It'd be interesting to see her curate something like a discussion guide or table topics or something a bit more concrete than this, but I still enjoyed the experience of drifting along with her.
The Bottom Line: A bright and light (but not slight) manifesto on opportunities for connection if you're looking to adopt a mindset shift in a 'take what works for you' kind of way.
Anything Memorable?: I've been a relatively longtime user of an app that involves connecting with strangers...I definitely tried out a couple of ideas I got from this book on my partner while reading it.
2026 Book Challenge?: Book #53 in 2026
March 30, 2026
Jess Janz is wise. She’s created a viable model for reconnection among humans. I’d love to see social programs based on this book. Wonderful work!
September 19, 2026
It took me some time to finish this. Jess has built something incredible with Dinner With Strangers, and the first half of this book made me want a seat at one of those tables. It’s inspiring and relatable as she describes her own desire to truly know others and the case she makes for treating a stranger as worth your full attention. The stories from the dinners are funny and often moving and they earn their place.
I deeply appreciated the meditation on interaction, deep conversations, and approachability, which fueled my favorite quotes. In these reflections, I felt seen.
But then the book drifts. The back half circles additional insights about vulnerability and presence over and over again, and by the last third I read out of obligation rather than interest. What I kept waiting for was the practical turn: how to actually host one of these nights. How to seat people, how to open, what questions carry a table of eight, what to do when someone dominates or goes quiet. Janz has a thousand dinners of hard-won knowledge on exactly that and she mostly keeps it off the page. I found myself reluctantly reading the last half of the book and skimming in parts.
Top quotes:
- “This book is a testament to our desire to be known and the conditions necessary to cultivate vulnerability, curiosity, and care for those we meet. Even if we’re strangers. Even for a moment.”
- “I’ve spent a lot of my life wondering if people feel the way I do—if people are curious in the way I am curious, if they are lonely in the way I often feel lonely, especially in conversations that stay in the safe surfacey place. I’ve been on the lookout for people with whom I can have the kinds of conversations where it feels like we’re answering questions as ourselves and not as the version of ourselves that is fun at parties.”
- “The gimmick of the large cast-iron pot acts as a portal to connection….Is some mildly novel accessory the answer to approachability? Maybe I should become a wacky-hat person. Maybe I should become someone who wears brooches.”
- “I get to assess, to the best of my ability, whether the person asking me about my life is just trying to make light conversation or if they’re genuinely curious about who I am, what I care about, and how I’m doing. And it’s up to me hewther or not, or to what extent, I’m owing to offer them a real picture of where they find me.”
- Beautiful Questions: What’s a heartwarming movie you love? What movie really made you think? What nostalgic movie do you love? These get us talking about optimism, thought provocation,and nostalgia.
“Your first time in Ecuador?!” He says, his face lighting up with the news. “Tell me, how did my country welcome you. What will you tell your friends about your time here?”
-“It takes great vulnerability to share anything with each other. It takes great care to consider how what we share might affect the listener. It takes great awareness to see someone sharing anything with us as a bold offering of connection.”
- “The two businessmen sending each other pictures of their coffees and their ties.”
- “Let’s not hesitate to insufficiently, constantly reach for each other. What I mean is that there is so much to say, too much to say, and so much that is unsayable. And we should try with all of our might anyway to say it with words, say it with actions, and say it in any way we know how.”
- “If we were planning a heist together, what would your role be?”
-“Discuss the merits of aperitifs and digestifs in various cultures (the French and their pastis and absinthes, the Italians and their amaros, the Greeks and their sambuca….and the bartender talks the couple into ordering some green Chartreuse. - an herbaceous, sweet liqueur made in by monks in the French countryside.”
I deeply appreciated the meditation on interaction, deep conversations, and approachability, which fueled my favorite quotes. In these reflections, I felt seen.
But then the book drifts. The back half circles additional insights about vulnerability and presence over and over again, and by the last third I read out of obligation rather than interest. What I kept waiting for was the practical turn: how to actually host one of these nights. How to seat people, how to open, what questions carry a table of eight, what to do when someone dominates or goes quiet. Janz has a thousand dinners of hard-won knowledge on exactly that and she mostly keeps it off the page. I found myself reluctantly reading the last half of the book and skimming in parts.
Top quotes:
- “This book is a testament to our desire to be known and the conditions necessary to cultivate vulnerability, curiosity, and care for those we meet. Even if we’re strangers. Even for a moment.”
- “I’ve spent a lot of my life wondering if people feel the way I do—if people are curious in the way I am curious, if they are lonely in the way I often feel lonely, especially in conversations that stay in the safe surfacey place. I’ve been on the lookout for people with whom I can have the kinds of conversations where it feels like we’re answering questions as ourselves and not as the version of ourselves that is fun at parties.”
- “The gimmick of the large cast-iron pot acts as a portal to connection….Is some mildly novel accessory the answer to approachability? Maybe I should become a wacky-hat person. Maybe I should become someone who wears brooches.”
- “I get to assess, to the best of my ability, whether the person asking me about my life is just trying to make light conversation or if they’re genuinely curious about who I am, what I care about, and how I’m doing. And it’s up to me hewther or not, or to what extent, I’m owing to offer them a real picture of where they find me.”
- Beautiful Questions: What’s a heartwarming movie you love? What movie really made you think? What nostalgic movie do you love? These get us talking about optimism, thought provocation,and nostalgia.
“Your first time in Ecuador?!” He says, his face lighting up with the news. “Tell me, how did my country welcome you. What will you tell your friends about your time here?”
-“It takes great vulnerability to share anything with each other. It takes great care to consider how what we share might affect the listener. It takes great awareness to see someone sharing anything with us as a bold offering of connection.”
- “The two businessmen sending each other pictures of their coffees and their ties.”
- “Let’s not hesitate to insufficiently, constantly reach for each other. What I mean is that there is so much to say, too much to say, and so much that is unsayable. And we should try with all of our might anyway to say it with words, say it with actions, and say it in any way we know how.”
- “If we were planning a heist together, what would your role be?”
-“Discuss the merits of aperitifs and digestifs in various cultures (the French and their pastis and absinthes, the Italians and their amaros, the Greeks and their sambuca….and the bartender talks the couple into ordering some green Chartreuse. - an herbaceous, sweet liqueur made in by monks in the French countryside.”
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