But Won't I Miss Me: A Novel

by Tiffany Tsao

Set in an alternate reality where pregnancy endows women with exceptional powers, one new mother uncovers terrifying truths about herself and life in this philosophical and propulsive tale of a woman and mother in crisis.

In a world where drastic measures have averted the global environmental crisis, humans too are now subject to great transformation.

Vivi should be happy she’s pregnant. But she’s troubled by a looming reality that seemingly bothers no one having a baby also means birthing an identical, nearly indestructible self who will eat her and take her place. “Rebirth” is simply a fact of life—nature’s way of equipping women for the challenges of motherhood. But as Vivi’s unborn child develops, so does her fear.

In a rare turn of events, Vivi emerges from rebirth weakened rather than strong. When her husband cannot tolerate her defects, they divorce and Vivi relocates to the country with her baby to work for her old boss.

Chronically exhausted, mentally struggling, and on her own, Vivi must move on—for her own and her son’s sake. But just as with her failed rebirth, swapping old for new isn’t as straightforward as it seems. When Vivi finally discovers what went wrong during childbirth, it will rewrite her life future, present, and past.

An inspired blend of Nightbitch and The Substance, as enthralling and incisive as The School of Good Mothers and The Need, But Won’t I Miss Me is a gripping and profound exploration of the physical and psychological tolls of motherhood, with a speculative horror spin. Tiffany Tsao imaginatively reveals the macabre hidden in the mundane and asks us to consider what we lose of ourselves when we leave our broken parts behind.

Genres: Horror

320 pages, Hardcover

Expected publication May 5, 2026

About the author

Tiffany Tsao is the author of The Majesties and the Oddfits fantasy series.

She also translates Indonesian fiction and poetry into English.

She received her Ph.D. in English from UC-Berkeley in 2009 and now lives in Sydney, Australia with her spouse and two offspring.

Reviews

[Alicia Ceasar · Rating 5 out of 5]

But Won’t I Miss Me by Tiffany Tsao takes places in an alternate reality where women get super powers after childbirth when they go through a process called “rebirth.” This book follows Vivi who has gone through the process but something went wrong and she is struggling to keep up with her young child. This is not normal in this reality so she feels judged by all those around her. Will she hit a breaking point?

I need everyone to put this book on their radar because it was so good! The commentary on how society treats women, especially women going through postpartum depressions is searing. This also deals heavily with how women change after childbirth and become a new person and how some women struggle to juggle everything.

There is a mystery throughout this book that kept me flying through the pages. There are also some horrific moments that actually made me stop reading and stare at a wall for a little while. I can see this book being very well received by the right audience so I’m hoping people read it. I know I will be highly recommending it!

[Betsy · Rating 4 out of 5]

But won't i miss me by Tiffany Tsao is not a typical insight into pregnancy and post-partum depression. What is usually silenced and/ or dismissed - takes a front row seat here with the descriptive nature of societal views and the mistreatment of women and follow up heath care after birth. It dives into the mental health aspects of post-partum depression and a lack of support.

Vivi is a new mother who is struggling with her postpartum self. In a world of rebirth, new mothers are expected to become borderline superhuman. Yet something went wrong. Her marriage falls apart, and she soon has no choice but to get her old job back, and start a new life.

Having a baby means birthing an identical, nearly indestructible self who will eat her and take her place. This mother will innately know exactly how to be a mother, a wife, and an ideal homemaker.
However, something goes wrong in Vivi's rebirth, and instead of coming out a strengthened super mom, she is weakened from the birth and struggles to adjust to her new life. She refuses to consider her husband's ideas, and the couple divorces, leading Vivi to take the baby to the country where she moves to work for her old boss. Vivi continues to struggle in her new life, but when she finally discovers what went wrong during her rebirth, the question is whether she or her baby are safe.

It takes place in Australia and Indonesia, with characters from various cultures. Descriptions were very vivid and engaging/ immersive.

This dives into how society treats women while going through postpartum depression- it's infuriating. This also dives heavily into how women change after childbirth and how some women struggle to juggle everything. There are some horrific moments that leave you speechless.

I do recommend that everyone read this book at least once in their lives. It is simply odd yes... but if you take a deeper dive... fundamental and essential in understanding the pressures and unrealistic expectations and treatment of women(mothers) in society.

Thanks to HarperVia and Netgalley for the gifted eARC.

[Jess Reads Horror · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley and HarperVia for this ARC!

Vivi is a new mother who is struggling with her postpartum self. But how could she be? In a world of rebirth, new mothers are expected to become borderline superhuman. So what went wrong? Her marriage falls apart, and she soon has no choice but to get her old job back, and start life anew.

Three words I’d use to describe this book: beautiful, devastating, and uncomfortable. I loved the multicultural experience this book offers. It takes place in Australia and Indonesia, with characters from various cultures, united over their roots and work. Descriptions were very vivid, very engaging, and I found myself coming up with images in my head nonstop. Always fun when books tap into your imagination.

Main story wise, i had complicated feelings for the main character, Vivi. Sometimes I’m feeling empathetic, sometimes i find myself losing patience with her. I love that layered personality that really came with every recurring character. Even till the end, I wasn’t sure how I truly felt.

The horrific bits though really does cement my choice to be childfree. I know this is fiction, but let’s not pretend mothers have it super easy in real life either. Even though I’m not a mother, I have compassion and I felt terrible for the women in the book. The price you pay to give birth… how much sacrifice is considered adequate? Can you live up to expectations? Do you lose yourself? And is that what you truly want?

Absolutely recommend this book to everyone.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

ARC for review. To be published May 5, 2026.

4 stars

Well, this is different. I this world when a woman delivers a baby she also delivers a tiny self which immediately grows to full size and….devours the unconscious mother, replacing her with an identical replica. She has all of the mother’s memories and looks exactly the same, so, you know, no big deal. In fact, for the first five years of the baby’s life she’s kind of a superwoman, with amazing stamina and strength.

Meet Vivi. She’s pregnant. And afraid.

Here’s my first question. WHY DOESN’T THIS STUFF EVER HAPPEN TO MEN? OK, I’m done shouting. But, really.

Then I look at it another way. Once you accept the basic concept, and understand that this hasn’t come about because of any weird bioengineering or anything, this is just the way it is, was and always will be, I guess (with humans, at least. No word on whether other species have the same deal.) Given that….I don’t know….whatcha gonna do? I mean, as we sit here today, only women can get pregnant, it’s painful, it takes around nine months and sometimes women die because of it. There are small things we, as a species, can do to alleviate the pain and cut down mortality rates, but the basics remain the same, and we just have to live with them. Same here, I guess?

So, it’s all very interesting and makes you think. Not too hard, it’s the holidays. I liked it.

[Vmndetta ᛑᛗᛛ · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has unique elements that really caught my attention. A literary horror with an alternate reality concept about motherhood—a different kind of horror. Unfortunately, I think my expectations were a bit too high.

I honestly liked the concept, and the diverse characters and setting. My favorite part was the flashbacks of Vivi when she was still pregnant and starting to feel anxious about the motherhood waiting ahead of her, and her journey with her (ex)husband. All of her worries felt very real and understandable.

But, even though the book said it's set in an alternate reality, it didn't really feel like that to me. For me, sometimes the story felt more like dystopian. The alternate reality element wasn't really strong, and so the horror. And as someone like me, the 'rebirth' concept itself in this book, turned out, didn't feel very new, so it didn't hit as hard as I expected.

There are also a lot of supporting characters in this book. Most of them appear more in the present timeline than in the past. That's great, but I personally had a hard time keeping track of all of them them. And that's why, the story sometimes felt like a family drama, which reduced the horror vibes. Especially in the middle when the POV shifts.

That said, this book does have something unique going on and is still worth trying if the concept interests you. You could give it a try.

[Danni · Rating 4 out of 5]

if "nightbitch" and "the substance" had a terrifying, philosophical baby!

this book was such a trippy, unsettling read. tiffany tsao takes the concept of "losing yourself" in motherhood and turns it into a literal, biological horror story. the world-building is fascinating; the idea that pregnancy results in a superior, indestructible version of yourself that literally replaces you is such a visceral metaphor for how society expects women to disappear into the role of a mother.

Vivi was a compelling, if deeply stressed, protagonist. i loved the "glitch in the system" aspect where her rebirth didn't go as planned, leaving her to navigate a world that has no room for "broken" versions of women. it definitely reminded me of weird momhood litfic with its focus on the grotesque and the physical transformation of the female body. i loved philosophical questions about identity and what we owe to our past selves were the strongest parts for me. it’s propulsive and moves quickly, though at times it felt a bit heavy-handed with the metaphors. still, it’s a gripping speculative tale that will make you look at the "mundane" parts of parenting in a much darker light.

definitely worth a read if you like feminist horror that makes you think. i enjoyed it so much.

4 ⭐️🫶🏼
thank you HarperVia!

[Kate Connell · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting new take on the fears around pregnancy and post-partum depression.

Who doesn't want to be the perfect mother? Rebirth gives you the opportunity, and has become a fact of life, having a baby now means birthing an identical, nearly indestructible self who will eat her and take her place. This mother will innately know exactly how to be a mother, a wife, and an ideal homemaker.

But as Vivi approaches her birth, she is terrified of what comes after and begins to think of it as death. Something goes wrong in Vivi's rebirth, and instead of coming out a strengthened super mom, she is weakened from the birth and struggles to adjust to her new life. She refuses to consider her husband's ideas, and the couple divorces, leading Vivi to take the baby to the country where she moves to work for her old boss. Vivi continues to struggle in her new life, but when she finally discovers what went wrong during her rebirth, the question is whether she or her baby are safe.

Thank you to NetGalley for an eARC of this novel.

[Cari · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hmm, it looks like we are now able to choose whether we read an ARC from a menu before rating. So I'm not sure if I need to state this, but I received a copy through Edelweiss.

I was absolutely enthralled by this intense story set in a near-future speculative world. In addition to the dystopic echoes, there's also a fundamental difference in this reality: primates (including humans) devour themselves after giving birth. A "fetal mother" is born along with the child, who then becomes superhuman while raising the baby. Vivi, the protagonist, had complications in her birth, and she is weaker than any other woman with a small child. People look down on her with pity; she struggles and is unable to keep her marriage afloat. Vivi moves to the country with her father's friend, Ahun, and her son, Cloud. There, her life changes irrevocably. I put this book in the category of Natural Beauty by Ling Ling Huang and The School for Good Mothers by Jessamine Chan. Not thrillers, but all profound and propulsive, investigating worlds we can only imagine within our own insecurities.