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Audible Audio
Expected publication January 15, 2026
Another fact of life: the Fibonacci sequence; Newton’s apple; hamsters eating their young. And I was crying again. Between those sputtering, aching breaths, pulled out from the diaphragm, I had settled on a phrase, as if to prove my insanity further: I’m bad. I’m bad. He stood up, and came over to hug me again. I watched the red blur of his movements, and tried not to be touched. He reached me anyway. What a shame, for him to have raised this. He started patting my head, and said that I was his daughter again, as though that might remedy everything, every evil. That stuffy room, with its thick heat, was confessional-like, warm and close. Later, when searching for a quotation for a painting – little dots, like raisins, on the edge of the work, childish fingerprints – I would find a passage, and think of him, and that tentative hug. He who created you, he who formed you: Do not fear, for I have redeemed you