The Company We Keep: Friendship, Connection, and Redefining What It Means to Grow Together

by Alexandra Elle

From New York Times bestselling author Alexandra Elle comes a vulnerable and necessary exploration of the friendships that shape us, stretch us, and sometimes wound us—and how our healing demands that we face them all with clarity and courage

The Company We Keep is a call to reflection and action, offering readers permission to evolve—and reminding us that the people we surround ourselves with are not only mirrors, but key companions on the lifelong journey of healing, self-trust, and belonging. Elle shares her unflinching journey of learning to stop abandoning herself in the name of loyalty, to take ownership of the energy she brought into relationships, and to tell the truth—even when it cost her comfort. In choosing herself without apology, she reclaimed her peace, self-trust, and capacity for deeper love.

This book invites readers to get radically honest about the friendships they nurture and the ones they outgrow, offering hard-won wisdom when people-pleasing and self-silencing have become a pattern. Understanding that honesty—while sometimes painful—is a bridge to real intimacy or necessary endings.Taking full responsibility for how we show up in our friendships and communities.Releasing the belief that we must earn love by shrinking, tolerating, or fixing others.Creating personal vows that honor our healing, our boundaries, and the relationships that nourish us.
The Company We Keep is not just about nurturing our most meaningful friendships—it’s about becoming a better friend to ourselves first. It’s a guide for anyone ready to stop settling for half-hearted connections and start building a life rooted in honesty, wholeness, and mutual care.

Genres: Nonfiction, Relationships, Psychology, Self Help, Friendship, Mental Health

256 pages, Hardcover

Published May 19, 2026

About the author

Alexandra Elle is a writer and creative living in the Washington, DC metro area with her husband and daughter. In her pre-teen years, writing came into her life by way of therapy and the exploration of healing. Many years later, Alex's voice and words are being shared poetically in the form of self-love and self-care. Her passion for storytelling, poetry, and narrative writing are infused with life lessons, self-celebration, and building community through reading, writing, and language.

Reviews

[Laura Mohammed · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Overtime, we begin to understand that the company we keep is a reflection of how well we honor our values, our boundaries, and our hearts.”

[Emily (emsalwaysreading) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Book #54 of 2026!

This is a solid 3.5 star read for me. A very short and concise non-fiction book about navigating friendships, connections, and learning how to seek the relationships that you want. I think we need more book about friendships, especially from a therapeutic lens, and I am grateful that this author would offer her expertise and wisdom about this topic. I enjoyed reading this, however did not find it to be especially memorable or offer any newer insights. I think this would be a good read for someone who wants to feel less alone in their search for meaningful connections. However, I think if you are wanting a more guided focus with prompts, exercises, and encouragement, Modern Friendship by Anna Goldfarb should be your next read!

Thank you to @prhaudio for the #gifted audiobook!

[Cindy · Rating 4 out of 5]

So many experiences that I've had myself. I felt supported and seen. It validated every friendship I ended in various ways and reminded me to move forward with integrity and vulnerability in current and future friendships.

[Ava Menoni · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book was so healing and it came at the perfect time!! perfect for post grad girlies trying to figure out how they fit into their new lives and community. highly highly recommend the audiobook 💜

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked this up because I follow alexandra elle on IG and have appreciated her wisdom over the years!

lovely book where she shares nuggets of wisdom on the ebbs and flows of friendship in her life. most of it orbits around her own experiences— so reads memoir-ish.

mostly on the importance of 1) clarity for yourself on what you can/can’t do as you 2) graciously try to build relationships w/ ppl around you, 3) while you are worthy of reciprocal and healthy friendships.

“being deliberate in our friendships—choosing to show up with clarity, care, and courage— is an emotional muscle that requires practice. it’s not something we master overnight, or maybe ever. but it takes honesty, repair, and a willingness to keep tending to the relationships that matter with intentionality.”

as someone in ministry, i read this through the lenses of chosen friendship, knowing that 1) some community isn’t chosen (Jesus brings people to the table and there are particular invitations there), and 2) there may be seasons of tending to relationship(s) that aren’t reciprocal by ways of partnering with God using our hands + feet...

[ZY · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5/5, rounded up to 4. Generally agree with the lessons learnt - very relatable, and were the things I had to learn/experience in my 20s. I appreciated the author's reflections, short stories which illustrated her point, and the guiding questions at the end of every chapter. That said, I felt like some parts felt very ~stream of consciousness~ like I was reading someone's journal entry. Easy, comforting and pleasant read nonetheless, and worth reading especially as there are not many such books on friendships.

[Rhonda Lomazow · Rating 4 out of 5]

Alexandra Earle has written an excellent guide about friendship about knowing when to continue a friendship and when it’s time to let go. How we owe ourselves the honesty the vulnerability to know when to protect ourselves. There are thoughts to reflect on after each chapter.Thanks #tarcherbooks for my advance copy.

[Bea · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been following Alex Elle for a decade, since I picked up her zine-looking “Words from a Wonderer” and when I found out she was writing a book about relationships (both romantic and otherwise), I had to read it.

Lots of great messages that hit the spot now, in the middle of this era of friendship turmoil (drained, sad).

I am not big on self help books but I liked this one. I recommend.

[Nora Nora · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5
Objectively there’s nothing wrong with this book, but if you’ve read other books on healthy communication/ conflict resolution/ overcoming people pleasing tendencies, I personally don’t think this book will add anything new.

[Candy · Rating 4 out of 5]

We all deserve friendships built on trust and honesty. Elle offers writing prompts and other suggestions to point the way.

[Paige · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anyone who has friends and values friendship (particularly female friendship) should give this one a read ❤️ loveeeee that this includes journal prompts!

[Nina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish we all had a copy of this book in our 20s! I feel like there isn’t nearly enough dialogue on female friendships as there are on romantic relationships and I’m so glad this now exists!

[Tori Carter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good reminder for my current season.

[Meg · Rating 5 out of 5]

queen Alex Elle at it again