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Society As I Have Found It: The Scandalous Memoir That Rocked the Gilded Age
One who reads this book through will have as rough a mental journey as his physical nature would undergo in riding over a corduroy road in an old stage-coach. It makes no pretension to either scholar- ship or elegant diction.
W. McA.
Scandal, snobbery, and the secrets of New York’s elite—straight from the man who lived it.
Before reality TV and social media influencers, there was Ward McAllister—the original gatekeeper of American high society. In Society As I Have Found It, McAllister pulls back the velvet curtain on the lavish ballrooms, whispered scandals, and ruthless social climbing that defined the Gilded Age in New York.
As the self-appointed mouthpiece of “The Four Hundred”—the inner circle of the ultra-wealthy elite led by Mrs. Caroline Astor—McAllister tells the extravagant dinners, the rules of etiquette, the social faux pas that could ruin reputations, and the backroom power plays that shaped America’s upper class. From Newport mansions to Fifth Avenue drawing rooms, he captures the glittering (and often vicious) world of the rich and powerful in the late 1800s.
But this isn’t just a memoir—it’s a social bombshell. Published in 1890, this book infuriated the very society it exposed, ultimately leading to McAllister’s exile from the world he helped build.
Perfect for fans of HBO’s The Gilded Age, Julian Fellowes’ Downton Abbey, or anyone fascinated by the real-life drama of America's aristocracy, Society As I Have Found It is both a historic treasure and a juicy tell-all that the more things change, the more the elite stay the same.
W. McA.
Scandal, snobbery, and the secrets of New York’s elite—straight from the man who lived it.
Before reality TV and social media influencers, there was Ward McAllister—the original gatekeeper of American high society. In Society As I Have Found It, McAllister pulls back the velvet curtain on the lavish ballrooms, whispered scandals, and ruthless social climbing that defined the Gilded Age in New York.
As the self-appointed mouthpiece of “The Four Hundred”—the inner circle of the ultra-wealthy elite led by Mrs. Caroline Astor—McAllister tells the extravagant dinners, the rules of etiquette, the social faux pas that could ruin reputations, and the backroom power plays that shaped America’s upper class. From Newport mansions to Fifth Avenue drawing rooms, he captures the glittering (and often vicious) world of the rich and powerful in the late 1800s.
But this isn’t just a memoir—it’s a social bombshell. Published in 1890, this book infuriated the very society it exposed, ultimately leading to McAllister’s exile from the world he helped build.
Perfect for fans of HBO’s The Gilded Age, Julian Fellowes’ Downton Abbey, or anyone fascinated by the real-life drama of America's aristocracy, Society As I Have Found It is both a historic treasure and a juicy tell-all that the more things change, the more the elite stay the same.
212 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 6, 2025
52 people are currently reading
33 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
October 20, 2025
Interesting…but I expected it to be more gossipy…
Society as I have found it by Ward McAllister is a memoir by a former influencer in the gilded age….one who claimed credit for the importance placed on new home society…
I expected there to be more salacious stuff than there actually was…
Don’t get me wrong, I rather enjoyed the background Ward McAllister gave himself and his family from Savanah to San Francisco to Europe and beyond…
Ward’s rather stress free early life isn’t the kind to create a heroic figure, but at least he’s colorful in his descriptions.
His travels and vacations in Europe clearly played a larger role in his later work in New York, but outside of a few key titles figures (nobility) most of his associates and encounters are with unnamed poorly described folk that I doubt anyone could identify (assuming his stories are even true).
The last third of the book covers his return to the United States and his efforts to build uk New York society. This also has the second cause of giving new importance to Newport Rhode Island (where Ward spent many early days…and where others would often rent farmhouses for the summer).
At times it reads like a society “dos and donts” of hosting dinner parties…as well as breaking down how certain parties were planned and who do the inviting. The fact that it started as a sort of pyramid scheme of who you knew (and certain people could only invite a fixed humans) says a lot about how things played out in the late 19th century.
Still…considering a majority of the book is set in Ward’s pre New York…and the New York portions are hardly the stuff of rumor mills and salacious innuendo…well I was hoping for me.
As a note, I listened to this via audiobook…
Society as I have found it by Ward McAllister is a memoir by a former influencer in the gilded age….one who claimed credit for the importance placed on new home society…
I expected there to be more salacious stuff than there actually was…
Don’t get me wrong, I rather enjoyed the background Ward McAllister gave himself and his family from Savanah to San Francisco to Europe and beyond…
Ward’s rather stress free early life isn’t the kind to create a heroic figure, but at least he’s colorful in his descriptions.
His travels and vacations in Europe clearly played a larger role in his later work in New York, but outside of a few key titles figures (nobility) most of his associates and encounters are with unnamed poorly described folk that I doubt anyone could identify (assuming his stories are even true).
The last third of the book covers his return to the United States and his efforts to build uk New York society. This also has the second cause of giving new importance to Newport Rhode Island (where Ward spent many early days…and where others would often rent farmhouses for the summer).
At times it reads like a society “dos and donts” of hosting dinner parties…as well as breaking down how certain parties were planned and who do the inviting. The fact that it started as a sort of pyramid scheme of who you knew (and certain people could only invite a fixed humans) says a lot about how things played out in the late 19th century.
Still…considering a majority of the book is set in Ward’s pre New York…and the New York portions are hardly the stuff of rumor mills and salacious innuendo…well I was hoping for me.
As a note, I listened to this via audiobook…
October 7, 2025
Old fashioned manners and traditions…. Ward would DIE if he saw our modern society. 🫣
My favorite part was “ a dinner party is a sacred obligation and if you die before the dinner, you must send the executor of your estate in your place” 🤣🤣🤣
I also liked how he referred to women as being the “handsomest women”.
My favorite part was “ a dinner party is a sacred obligation and if you die before the dinner, you must send the executor of your estate in your place” 🤣🤣🤣
I also liked how he referred to women as being the “handsomest women”.
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews