I am going to ramble (in homage to the book itself) and likely not make any sense (also in honor of said book) and there will be spoilers to outline the childish and unedited points so…beware.
So, in general, I find myself drifting towards cozy fantasies and romances as I try to ostrich myself in the literary sand away from the current events of the world (yes, I know they don’t really do that and the myth came from their nesting techniques). There is a line between cozy (what I want) and ridiculous, slow-minded, juvenile writing that had inconsistencies and plot holes the size of Saturn. This book, it is, unfortunately, the later.
Cover: Five stars!
Idea: Five stars!
Writing, editing, and execution: Negative stars! Initially when I started reading, I was going to say, maybe this is for middle school kids? However, its level of silliness is frankly insulting to a kindergartner much less them.
So, a book magically shows up at the MC Zoe’s work (like inanely obvious it is magic) and then when she leaves it shows up (again magically) at her completely barren, no personality at all, home. The book has no latch or key hole but is locked all the same save for this curious little hole with dried blood on it. Our fearless heroine has “dreams” and “sleepwalks” towards the book at night with voices telling her to prick her finger over the book. Hmmmm. Scooby Doo level mystery. Now, how do you think the book opens? Right, exactly what the main character thought…absolutely no friggin idea!!! I mean, how could anyone come up with how to open the book? Quick answer: you can’t. Absolutely no way! Wait though, do NOT give up hope because your auntie type person who helped raise you conveniently knows of a secret, wondrous, magical library where they might (a big might with this head-scratching mystery) be able to sort this problem out!!! Oh, thank God!
Note above that: 1. The book arrived magically and followed her magically. 2. She knows magic exists because she was raised with magic because her entire family is magical, she is in a magical library with magical people and she still doubts magic and its existence. When (now this is a huge, huge spoiler that no one could have figured out) the book is opened by a drop of her blood! WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? What is our heroines response? This has got to be some sort of hoax! Oh yes she did! She went there. Someone went to the trouble (magically) of sending her the book. She knows magic exists. The book has to be opened magically with only her bloodline’s blood and the symbols she can’t instantly recognize are a (shakes head slowly, takes TUMS to fight rising bile) hoax. Oh, for the love of God, please.
I forgot when she first walked into the magical and elaborate and decorative and insanely cool library there was a protected section of dangerous books. Within this section there were dark magic books that they either did not know what they did or with potentially lethal, earth ending, enslaving, death and destruction dark magic books and her response as a person with (perhaps) a brain and also a librarian (for a small library) is: How DARE you not let these books be open to the public! All knowledge should be open and shared. Forehead slap and switching to Prilosec for acid relief.
I forgot to start with this, but I absolutely hate the reluctant hero trope. It annoys me to no end. There is a difference between being scared, doubting yourself, wondering if you are good enough etc.-those are okay, but the outright I am not doing this quest to save the world even though there are horrors coming for me even if I don’t thingy is so annoying and overdone. That is our hero. So, she sees the most wonderful and unique library in the world with ancient texts and tomes and gets offered a job. Now, what would anyone who loves books do? Well of course you are right, she does what every book lover would do, she turns them down stating she does not want to work there? WTH?
She knows about necromancy. Like literally her relatives are necromancers and she 100% knows this and then absolutely refuses to believe it when a dead person who is literally falling apart in front of her (missing fingers and ear etc.). The dead person shows up, knows her grandmother and wants to be set free but what does Zoe the MC/hero do? She takes her to the fantastic library where she turned down a job there to have them CONVINCE THE DEAD PERSON SHE IS NOT REALLY DEAD SO SHE CAN GO BACK TO HER LITTLE COZY LIFE IN A SMALL TOWN. Oh my goodness. I just underwent fundoplication for my acid reflux from this story. This is a good time to say that Zoe apparently is Übermensch smart (sorry superfrau intelligent) and impresses with absolute ease the group of librarians who in their own right are super, super smart! Yet she seems to be the densest person on the planet and makes absolutely horrifyingly bad decisions and comes to impossibly contradictory conclusions (like the dead person is not really dead or even well over half way in she is STILL questioning magic-see below).
So, if it was a couple times especially early, then fine, but repeatedly this Zoe/MC lady states she doubts magic. By half way through we have these facts: 1. She grew up SEEING AND DOING magic. Now, a rational person might not need more than that, but let’s keep going. 2. She literally levitated herself and then a book-cat thingy-thing. 3. She had a book magically show up at her work and then her house. 4. Said magic book had to be opened with blood (now, I know what you are thinking, a lot of other non-magical books also require a blood sacrifice to open so this one is a little questionable I guess {pricking finger to open a magical book I happen to have}). 5. A dead person raised by one of your relatives (grandma) shows up at your house. 6. You have literally been to the magic library and seen lots of magic including the magic book-cat.
What is the logical response to the above and more examples? Of course to go on a tirade about how you only believe in facts and reason and therefore are constantly questioning magic! Totally, totally tracks. Yep. Reasonable. Definitely reasonable.
Her mother had to live a life on the run to protect this book (this really makes our fearless hero question her ire towards her previously scorned mother-wow touching moment), many have died including her grandmother who was murdered for the magic and mysterious book and it is like super-super powerful book that many unsavory characters would want, therefore when the librarian posse tells her she has to stay in the library for protection her logical response: NOPE I’m going home to my “house” with no decorations or anything with personality to eat only junk food (that fact that she only eats like ramen noodles and snickers or some shite gives her personality!) She refuses to decorate her house because “I am a quirky, anti-personality and as flat a character figuratively as flat-Stanley is flat literally."
Then, then there is the British (because of course he has a sexy accent) love-interest guy who makes her swoon. Now. There is a raven who watches her all the time. It is like 1000% obviously watching over her and one could rightly assume for her protection. Right? I mean, right? Now this love-interest guy happens to show up right when a raised from the dead Swedish guy blasts through her door AND the love-interest has said he thinks ravens are magnificent and handsome AND he has magic runes intertwined with ravens up and down his arm or body-or both can’t remember AND THEREFORE THE LOGICAL RESPONSE WHEN SHE FINDS OUT THE LOVE-INTEREST IS, SHOCKINGLY, USING THE RAVEN TO WATCH OVER HER: she is offended. The audacity of a man to watch over her and end up saving her life because of this. What an invasion of privacy! Unforgivable.
Honestly, this book is just poorly, poorly executed, it is frankly unedited (despite the ironic praise to her editor at the beginning of the book). I could keep going but why? The biggest sin of this book (besides the contradictions, plot holes, frankly intelligence insulting writing) is the lost potential. What an awesome idea with shite execution. A sin. It is frankly horrendous and I feel like I need a medal for finishing this book (message me for my address for said medal when it is finished being minted).