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But Won't I Miss Me: A Novel
Set in an alternate reality where pregnancy endows women with exceptional powers, one new mother uncovers terrifying truths about herself and life in this philosophical and propulsive tale of a woman and mother in crisis.
In a world where drastic measures have averted the global environmental crisis, humans too are now subject to great transformation.
Vivi should be happy she’s pregnant. But she’s troubled by a looming reality that seemingly bothers no one having a baby also means birthing an identical, nearly indestructible self who will eat her and take her place. “Rebirth” is simply a fact of life—nature’s way of equipping women for the challenges of motherhood. But as Vivi’s unborn child develops, so does her fear.
In a rare turn of events, Vivi emerges from rebirth weakened rather than strong. When her husband cannot tolerate her defects, they divorce and Vivi relocates to the country with her baby to work for her old boss.
Chronically exhausted, mentally struggling, and on her own, Vivi must move on—for her own and her son’s sake. But just as with her failed rebirth, swapping old for new isn’t as straightforward as it seems. When Vivi finally discovers what went wrong during childbirth, it will rewrite her life future, present, and past.
An inspired blend of Nightbitch and The Substance, as enthralling and incisive as The School of Good Mothers and The Need, But Won’t I Miss Me is a gripping and profound exploration of the physical and psychological tolls of motherhood, with a speculative horror spin. Tiffany Tsao imaginatively reveals the macabre hidden in the mundane and asks us to consider what we lose of ourselves when we leave our broken parts behind.
In a world where drastic measures have averted the global environmental crisis, humans too are now subject to great transformation.
Vivi should be happy she’s pregnant. But she’s troubled by a looming reality that seemingly bothers no one having a baby also means birthing an identical, nearly indestructible self who will eat her and take her place. “Rebirth” is simply a fact of life—nature’s way of equipping women for the challenges of motherhood. But as Vivi’s unborn child develops, so does her fear.
In a rare turn of events, Vivi emerges from rebirth weakened rather than strong. When her husband cannot tolerate her defects, they divorce and Vivi relocates to the country with her baby to work for her old boss.
Chronically exhausted, mentally struggling, and on her own, Vivi must move on—for her own and her son’s sake. But just as with her failed rebirth, swapping old for new isn’t as straightforward as it seems. When Vivi finally discovers what went wrong during childbirth, it will rewrite her life future, present, and past.
An inspired blend of Nightbitch and The Substance, as enthralling and incisive as The School of Good Mothers and The Need, But Won’t I Miss Me is a gripping and profound exploration of the physical and psychological tolls of motherhood, with a speculative horror spin. Tiffany Tsao imaginatively reveals the macabre hidden in the mundane and asks us to consider what we lose of ourselves when we leave our broken parts behind.
316 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2026
23 people are currently reading
8949 people want to read
About the author
Tiffany Tsao
18 books267 followersTiffany Tsao is a novelist and a translator of Indonesian literature. She holds a PhD in English from UC-Berkeley and now lives in Sydney, Australia, on Gamaragal land.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 87 reviews
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
Starred review in the April 2026 issue of Library Journal
This book is WOW! Great title too. Disorientation of the title, the confusion, is perfect for the story
Three Words That Describe This Book: maternal/body horror, slightly askew to our world, discomfiting
Other words: compelling from the first page, huge twist, visceral, original, thought provoking, intense, honest, "rebirth."
Draft Review: The very best speculative fiction takes readers out of their world, telling a story meant to help them grapple with the important questions staring them in their real world faces. Tsao demonstrates this in her alternative reality science fiction-body horror-thriller, asking readers to contemplate how society fails mothers, the horror of following the status quo, and most provocatively, what happens when you are your own victim? Vivi, a Chinese-Indonesian living in Australia lives in a world where human mothers not only birth a child, but they also experience their own visceral rebirth, an event that will shock and trouble readers, but here it is seen as necessary to give mothers the super human strength they need to raise children. Vivi’s rebirth had complications leaving her alone, exhausted, and with a baby to care for. Readers hang on every detail, falling easily into the world, and its complex, flawed, but sympathetic characters, never able to shake the unsettling tone set by the title, not even close to ready for the twist when it drops. A master class in storytelling that will leave readers, if not reborn, forever changed for the experience.
Verdict: Tsao gives readers a terrifying, raw, and honest look at motherhood in the vein of horror titles like Tantrum by Rachel Eve Moutlon, Womb City by Tlotlo Tsamaase, The Push by Ashley Audrain.
Before I get to the set up and how the story is told I need to applaud the author and editors here. The author, for writing a story about postpartum life -- even if you don't sink to depression-- and how being a new mother is disorienting, how it changes your body, and how it can change who you are-- to yourself and others.
The editor for NOT giving in to the urge to make this book easier on the reader. So many books I read have a "prologue" or let out key details too quickly because editors (and authors) do not trust readers to let the author tell the story and have the story come to you. This book withholds key details from the start, but they are doled out slowly. But there is always enough to keep the reader going here, even when they are not sure where the story is leading them.
This book has a huge and satisfying twist that is the level of mind-blow as Gone Girl was back in 2015 -- a different twist but on that level. And it allows everything to fall into place after.
There is a coda that the book needs. I saw it as a chance for Vivi's son to heal and understand, yes, but more importantly, for readers to also process everything they just read and all of their feelings about the book, the slightly askew world it presents, and how that makes you think about motherhood right now, in our world whether you are a child or a mother. You need a moment to reflect about everything in this book-- from the literal plot to everything it is saying about how the world treats mothers. Without that buffer/coda/space, this book would not land as well. I should be clear, it is not a sappy coda, and it DOES NOT tie up all the loose ends-- in fact it leave a huge one dangling-- but it is there to bring the reader back down and allow them to emotionally reset. Phew. Really brilliant.
Now as a horror novel-- wow! This takes the body horror of pregnancy and child birth to a whole new level of horror.
The less you know about this book going in the better but know that this book is visceral and honest. It uses a speculative alternative reality to our world to
It is all told from the perspective of Chinese- Indonesians who have emigrated to Australia. The cultures of all 3 are discussed. That frame was very specific and yet the story is universal.
A great question here besides what do we owe mothers, how can we help them, how society fails them. Tsao also asks readers to contemplate-- What happens when you are your own victim? What is the price of blindly doing things the way every one does them? How hard it is to question the status quo.
Another brilliant thing about this book-- the main characters here-- none of them are all good or all bad. They are VERY morally gray and yet readers will sympathize with them all. That is hard to do.
The set up-- the less you know the better. This is an alternate reality to ours -- not near future-- parallel. In this world human mothers, after they give birth to a child, experience a rebirth. (But that rebirth is a horror story all onto its own.) The rebirth gives new mothers the super strength they need to raise new humans. They can do it all-- no sleep, no strollers. They can carry and juggle it all at once. Our protagonist and narrator Vivi well she had a "hitch" with her rebirth and it did not take. She is a disabled new mother and society has not time for that. She is our window into this world. We hear her story beginning when she leaves her husband and starts over with the help of an old family friend.
As we follow Vivi, details about this world and what she specifically went through are slowly doled out-- but not so slowly that you want to stop reading. Rather, it is just the right amount sot hat you get to know Vivi and her 2 year old son Cloud. Also it is the right speed of all of the details so that you have time to get settled into this world that is slightly family but not completely. We get flashbacks to gain more understanding. But even as things are explained, it doesn't feel 100% right. We are missing something. What is it? Ahh, once that info is dropped-- the rest of the book falls into place and you will race to the end to finish it.
I cannot stress enough how visceral and troubling the "rebirth" is both on a gross out level but also on a psychological and societal level.
For readers of raw, visceral, physically and emotionally upsetting, thought provoking, and honest dark speculative fiction about motherhood such as Tantrum by Rachel Eve Moutlon, Womb City by Tlotlo Tsamaase, The Push by Ashley Audrain.
This book is WOW! Great title too. Disorientation of the title, the confusion, is perfect for the story
Three Words That Describe This Book: maternal/body horror, slightly askew to our world, discomfiting
Other words: compelling from the first page, huge twist, visceral, original, thought provoking, intense, honest, "rebirth."
Draft Review: The very best speculative fiction takes readers out of their world, telling a story meant to help them grapple with the important questions staring them in their real world faces. Tsao demonstrates this in her alternative reality science fiction-body horror-thriller, asking readers to contemplate how society fails mothers, the horror of following the status quo, and most provocatively, what happens when you are your own victim? Vivi, a Chinese-Indonesian living in Australia lives in a world where human mothers not only birth a child, but they also experience their own visceral rebirth, an event that will shock and trouble readers, but here it is seen as necessary to give mothers the super human strength they need to raise children. Vivi’s rebirth had complications leaving her alone, exhausted, and with a baby to care for. Readers hang on every detail, falling easily into the world, and its complex, flawed, but sympathetic characters, never able to shake the unsettling tone set by the title, not even close to ready for the twist when it drops. A master class in storytelling that will leave readers, if not reborn, forever changed for the experience.
Verdict: Tsao gives readers a terrifying, raw, and honest look at motherhood in the vein of horror titles like Tantrum by Rachel Eve Moutlon, Womb City by Tlotlo Tsamaase, The Push by Ashley Audrain.
Before I get to the set up and how the story is told I need to applaud the author and editors here. The author, for writing a story about postpartum life -- even if you don't sink to depression-- and how being a new mother is disorienting, how it changes your body, and how it can change who you are-- to yourself and others.
The editor for NOT giving in to the urge to make this book easier on the reader. So many books I read have a "prologue" or let out key details too quickly because editors (and authors) do not trust readers to let the author tell the story and have the story come to you. This book withholds key details from the start, but they are doled out slowly. But there is always enough to keep the reader going here, even when they are not sure where the story is leading them.
This book has a huge and satisfying twist that is the level of mind-blow as Gone Girl was back in 2015 -- a different twist but on that level. And it allows everything to fall into place after.
There is a coda that the book needs. I saw it as a chance for Vivi's son to heal and understand, yes, but more importantly, for readers to also process everything they just read and all of their feelings about the book, the slightly askew world it presents, and how that makes you think about motherhood right now, in our world whether you are a child or a mother. You need a moment to reflect about everything in this book-- from the literal plot to everything it is saying about how the world treats mothers. Without that buffer/coda/space, this book would not land as well. I should be clear, it is not a sappy coda, and it DOES NOT tie up all the loose ends-- in fact it leave a huge one dangling-- but it is there to bring the reader back down and allow them to emotionally reset. Phew. Really brilliant.
Now as a horror novel-- wow! This takes the body horror of pregnancy and child birth to a whole new level of horror.
The less you know about this book going in the better but know that this book is visceral and honest. It uses a speculative alternative reality to our world to
It is all told from the perspective of Chinese- Indonesians who have emigrated to Australia. The cultures of all 3 are discussed. That frame was very specific and yet the story is universal.
A great question here besides what do we owe mothers, how can we help them, how society fails them. Tsao also asks readers to contemplate-- What happens when you are your own victim? What is the price of blindly doing things the way every one does them? How hard it is to question the status quo.
Another brilliant thing about this book-- the main characters here-- none of them are all good or all bad. They are VERY morally gray and yet readers will sympathize with them all. That is hard to do.
The set up-- the less you know the better. This is an alternate reality to ours -- not near future-- parallel. In this world human mothers, after they give birth to a child, experience a rebirth. (But that rebirth is a horror story all onto its own.) The rebirth gives new mothers the super strength they need to raise new humans. They can do it all-- no sleep, no strollers. They can carry and juggle it all at once. Our protagonist and narrator Vivi well she had a "hitch" with her rebirth and it did not take. She is a disabled new mother and society has not time for that. She is our window into this world. We hear her story beginning when she leaves her husband and starts over with the help of an old family friend.
As we follow Vivi, details about this world and what she specifically went through are slowly doled out-- but not so slowly that you want to stop reading. Rather, it is just the right amount sot hat you get to know Vivi and her 2 year old son Cloud. Also it is the right speed of all of the details so that you have time to get settled into this world that is slightly family but not completely. We get flashbacks to gain more understanding. But even as things are explained, it doesn't feel 100% right. We are missing something. What is it? Ahh, once that info is dropped-- the rest of the book falls into place and you will race to the end to finish it.
I cannot stress enough how visceral and troubling the "rebirth" is both on a gross out level but also on a psychological and societal level.
For readers of raw, visceral, physically and emotionally upsetting, thought provoking, and honest dark speculative fiction about motherhood such as Tantrum by Rachel Eve Moutlon, Womb City by Tlotlo Tsamaase, The Push by Ashley Audrain.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
'But Won't I Miss Me: by Tiffany Tsao is set in an alternate reality where new mothers are granted exceptional skills and enhanced physical strength, for the purpose of making them the best possible primary caregivers a child could ever have. But these gifts come at a price....
I would describe this book as Literary Speculative Fiction/Horror/Thriller. With the exception of the rebirthing' process new mothers must go through, it is not hard to envision a near-future like this. One of my criteria for a great book is "tell me a story I haven't heard before." This is one of the most original stories I've read in years, yet it is very relatable. The character development is exceptional, including that of minor characters. I felt like I was reading about real people, a rarity with speculation fiction, which tends to heavily focus on world-building. The human condition remains central.
This book is exceptionally well researched, In coming to know the protagonist Vivi, I learned about subjects I want to delve further into, including the origins of the May 1998 riots in Indonesia, and anti-Chinese violence in general. Great books make you think and expand your worldview.
This book is cleverly plotted and well-structured. The plot twist left me speechless. The first half of the book was intriguing. but once the narrator shifted to Nina, it became.a real page-turner, and it did not let up. I was shallow breathing and close to heart palpitations. The shift to Iwan as narrator in the last 10% of the book had me in tears. "Be worth what they went through broke me wide open. I'm crying again just thinking about it. This book took me through a rollercoaster ride of emotions. It was cathartic, in the best possible way.
The book was beautifully-written, yet straight-forward and easy to read. In addition to being an author, Tiffany Tsao is a literary translator who has won a PEN Translation Prize.. As a reader, it feels like she is channeling/translating for her characters, bringing them to life on the written page. It made for an immersive reading experience.
I selected this book because the synopsis sounded interesting. I thought it would be a fun read. It far exceeded all expectations. For me, reading "But Won't I Miss Me" was an incredibly moving, profound, life-changing, and impactful experience. It's a painful reminder of how we as a society cannibalize the mothers of young children, expecting them to sacrifice an essential part of their being, in service of the new life they have created.
"But Won't I Miss Me" is for everyone who has ever had a mother. It will be available for purchase on May 5. 2026. Mother's Day falls on Sunday, May 10th. Personally, I can't think of a more appropriate gift...for all the mothers in our lives.
Thanks to HarperVia and NetGalley for providing me with a complimentary DRC of "But Won't I Miss Me. All opinions are my own.
I would describe this book as Literary Speculative Fiction/Horror/Thriller. With the exception of the rebirthing' process new mothers must go through, it is not hard to envision a near-future like this. One of my criteria for a great book is "tell me a story I haven't heard before." This is one of the most original stories I've read in years, yet it is very relatable. The character development is exceptional, including that of minor characters. I felt like I was reading about real people, a rarity with speculation fiction, which tends to heavily focus on world-building. The human condition remains central.
This book is exceptionally well researched, In coming to know the protagonist Vivi, I learned about subjects I want to delve further into, including the origins of the May 1998 riots in Indonesia, and anti-Chinese violence in general. Great books make you think and expand your worldview.
This book is cleverly plotted and well-structured. The plot twist left me speechless. The first half of the book was intriguing. but once the narrator shifted to Nina, it became.a real page-turner, and it did not let up. I was shallow breathing and close to heart palpitations. The shift to Iwan as narrator in the last 10% of the book had me in tears. "Be worth what they went through broke me wide open. I'm crying again just thinking about it. This book took me through a rollercoaster ride of emotions. It was cathartic, in the best possible way.
The book was beautifully-written, yet straight-forward and easy to read. In addition to being an author, Tiffany Tsao is a literary translator who has won a PEN Translation Prize.. As a reader, it feels like she is channeling/translating for her characters, bringing them to life on the written page. It made for an immersive reading experience.
I selected this book because the synopsis sounded interesting. I thought it would be a fun read. It far exceeded all expectations. For me, reading "But Won't I Miss Me" was an incredibly moving, profound, life-changing, and impactful experience. It's a painful reminder of how we as a society cannibalize the mothers of young children, expecting them to sacrifice an essential part of their being, in service of the new life they have created.
"But Won't I Miss Me" is for everyone who has ever had a mother. It will be available for purchase on May 5. 2026. Mother's Day falls on Sunday, May 10th. Personally, I can't think of a more appropriate gift...for all the mothers in our lives.
Thanks to HarperVia and NetGalley for providing me with a complimentary DRC of "But Won't I Miss Me. All opinions are my own.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Many thanks to HarperAudio for an Advanced Listener's Copy in exchange for an honest review
★ 3.62 stars ★
Wow, what a novel. Make no mistake, this isn't a classic horror novel although it was horrifying... just not in the ways I expected.
As I read this novel, I realized that I am likely not the target demographic, or at least not the type of reader whom this book will reasonates with the most. Not that that was a bad thing. The author still wrote a succesfully engaging novel. I just think that it will really hit close to home for those expereincing/experienced in the things the author layed out.
But for those who aren't women, pregnant or come from asian heritage, this novel is still worth a read.
I do want to preface for readers that this is not a horror novel. While I agree with the comparisons to movies like The Substance, this novel weaves it's tale by focusing more on speculative and philosophical horrors like the nature of life and existence than outright gore (although there is some).
Additionally, this novel chooses to walk us alongside the characters for their long journey. Where some horror novels introduce cardboard characters to be chucked into horrifiic situations with no development, shredded like old papers, But Won't I Miss Me follows the same character and her circle across several years, a style which is always satisfying in the end even if it takes time.
So, no, this novel is by no means a horror novel. Nor is it very science fiction-y. Again, those elements are present but this novel is more of a tapestry of life than it is a novel meant to scare.
The questions asked of the characters, and thus of the reader, were incredibly fascinating ones relating to motherhood, birth, bodily autonomy, and existence itself. The book did a good job exploring these ideas but I felt as though only the surface were scratched.
I couldn't quite put my finger on why but it felt like scratching an itch but only just slightly. I wanted more from these fascinating ideas. I wanted to sink my teeth into them.
All that being said, I was by no means left unfulfilled. There was a plot twist I did not see coming and an ending that wrapped up the narrative nicely.
Honestly, my only real complaint was more of a formatting thing. With multiple perspectives and time jumps, it is paramount that the reader is able to, somewhat quickly, orient themselves to time and place. This book really struggled with that. Every time there was a jump to a different character's perspective, it took me several pages worth of reading to figure out when we were and I had to then go back and reread with that perspective now in mind.
Something as simple as [Character Name], 5 months ago would've been so helpful.
But all in all, a great novel! Definitely worth a read when it releases in May!
------
good to know i'm not the only one who kept calling this book But I Won't Miss Me instead of it's actual title But Won't I Miss Me... the narrator literally used the wrong title at the end too lol
-------
i mean... i already think normal nonfiction pregnancy is horrifying and am shocked and amazed (and grateful) that women go through it. soooo... this is sure to be absolutely horrifying
★ 3.62 stars ★
Wow, what a novel. Make no mistake, this isn't a classic horror novel although it was horrifying... just not in the ways I expected.
As I read this novel, I realized that I am likely not the target demographic, or at least not the type of reader whom this book will reasonates with the most. Not that that was a bad thing. The author still wrote a succesfully engaging novel. I just think that it will really hit close to home for those expereincing/experienced in the things the author layed out.
But for those who aren't women, pregnant or come from asian heritage, this novel is still worth a read.
I do want to preface for readers that this is not a horror novel. While I agree with the comparisons to movies like The Substance, this novel weaves it's tale by focusing more on speculative and philosophical horrors like the nature of life and existence than outright gore (although there is some).
Additionally, this novel chooses to walk us alongside the characters for their long journey. Where some horror novels introduce cardboard characters to be chucked into horrifiic situations with no development, shredded like old papers, But Won't I Miss Me follows the same character and her circle across several years, a style which is always satisfying in the end even if it takes time.
So, no, this novel is by no means a horror novel. Nor is it very science fiction-y. Again, those elements are present but this novel is more of a tapestry of life than it is a novel meant to scare.
The questions asked of the characters, and thus of the reader, were incredibly fascinating ones relating to motherhood, birth, bodily autonomy, and existence itself. The book did a good job exploring these ideas but I felt as though only the surface were scratched.
I couldn't quite put my finger on why but it felt like scratching an itch but only just slightly. I wanted more from these fascinating ideas. I wanted to sink my teeth into them.
All that being said, I was by no means left unfulfilled. There was a plot twist I did not see coming and an ending that wrapped up the narrative nicely.
Honestly, my only real complaint was more of a formatting thing. With multiple perspectives and time jumps, it is paramount that the reader is able to, somewhat quickly, orient themselves to time and place. This book really struggled with that. Every time there was a jump to a different character's perspective, it took me several pages worth of reading to figure out when we were and I had to then go back and reread with that perspective now in mind.
Something as simple as [Character Name], 5 months ago would've been so helpful.
But all in all, a great novel! Definitely worth a read when it releases in May!
------
good to know i'm not the only one who kept calling this book But I Won't Miss Me instead of it's actual title But Won't I Miss Me... the narrator literally used the wrong title at the end too lol
-------
i mean... i already think normal nonfiction pregnancy is horrifying and am shocked and amazed (and grateful) that women go through it. soooo... this is sure to be absolutely horrifying
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May 7, 2026
The premise of this pulled me in immediately. Full stop. I had to know more about “Rebirth.”
Can I willingly create a replacement version of myself knowing it will consume me? Could a society truly normalize that? Remove the fear from it? Where does self-preservation go?
Those questions sit underneath everything in this story.
We follow Vivi through this dystopian alternative world, watching her struggle through motherhood, identity, exhaustion, and the quiet horror of feeling disconnected from herself. The speculative elements are strange and unsettling, but the emotions underneath them feel painfully real.
I saw someone else mention this is a hard book to rate, and I understand why. The ending leaves behind unresolved feelings. Not in a frustrating way, but in a way that clashes with your own sense of self, choice, and what it means to survive change.
There’s a lingering ripple to this story. A feeling that Vivi’s choices will continue impacting this world long after the final page.
An excellent exploration of motherhood, sacrifice, societal expectation, identity, and the parts of ourselves we’re told to leave behind.
A special thank you to HarperVia and NetGalley for the advanced digital copy; All thoughts and opinions are my own.
Can I willingly create a replacement version of myself knowing it will consume me? Could a society truly normalize that? Remove the fear from it? Where does self-preservation go?
Those questions sit underneath everything in this story.
We follow Vivi through this dystopian alternative world, watching her struggle through motherhood, identity, exhaustion, and the quiet horror of feeling disconnected from herself. The speculative elements are strange and unsettling, but the emotions underneath them feel painfully real.
I saw someone else mention this is a hard book to rate, and I understand why. The ending leaves behind unresolved feelings. Not in a frustrating way, but in a way that clashes with your own sense of self, choice, and what it means to survive change.
There’s a lingering ripple to this story. A feeling that Vivi’s choices will continue impacting this world long after the final page.
An excellent exploration of motherhood, sacrifice, societal expectation, identity, and the parts of ourselves we’re told to leave behind.
A special thank you to HarperVia and NetGalley for the advanced digital copy; All thoughts and opinions are my own.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
The setup for this book is that, in this world, every woman gives birth to her replacement at the same time she has her child. That replacement then eats her and obtains strength and patience and dashboard abs as a result. The world does not blink as the moms, wives and mothers are replaced each time they give birth. Vivian is terrified of the rebirth and does not want it to happen. From that body horror setup comes a story that deftly explores the impossibly high standards put on new mothers and competition among women in chauvinist societies. The fact of the rebirth also lays bare what exactly women are valued for. But this also a heartfelt story of two women who are trying to feel their way through this process when they do not fit the mold and need extra help. Many of the passages feel familiar to anyone who has experienced new motherhood. I think the ending was a bit odd, but I thoroughly enjoyed the experience of the book. Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC.
May 5, 2026
"...mothers giving birth to mothers, mothers eating themselves."
Australia - Vivi, a Chinese-Indonesian woman lives in an alternate reality where people experience 'rebirth', in which the new mother consumes her old body.
If you're a mother feeling like failing and losing it, this book will highly resonate. BUT WON'T I MISS ME provides a raw look at motherhood, revealing how motherhood can be monstrous and dark. By incorporating elements of horror and body forms, the societal commentary and examination of gender roles and marriage are sharply done, offering an uneasy food to digest. In this, our feelings (harmful thinking and frustration) are much valid and we're not alone in the darkness.
This book questions the life's purpose while exposes evolution x extinction. It reverberates sensorial, visceral and psychological vibes, making it an unsettling read that also acquires layers by touching immigration and culture. The solid characterization does a decent emotional damage and I would have loved a deeper touch on the culture and better tie up of the loose ends (the ending is well done).
This harrowing speculative fiction isn't limited to mothers in crisis, but for anyone trying to survive in their own ways. It's thought-provoking and I think Tsao nailed at delivering the purpose.
[ I received a complimentary copy from the publisher - Harpervia Books . All opinions are my own ]
Australia - Vivi, a Chinese-Indonesian woman lives in an alternate reality where people experience 'rebirth', in which the new mother consumes her old body.
If you're a mother feeling like failing and losing it, this book will highly resonate. BUT WON'T I MISS ME provides a raw look at motherhood, revealing how motherhood can be monstrous and dark. By incorporating elements of horror and body forms, the societal commentary and examination of gender roles and marriage are sharply done, offering an uneasy food to digest. In this, our feelings (harmful thinking and frustration) are much valid and we're not alone in the darkness.
This book questions the life's purpose while exposes evolution x extinction. It reverberates sensorial, visceral and psychological vibes, making it an unsettling read that also acquires layers by touching immigration and culture. The solid characterization does a decent emotional damage and I would have loved a deeper touch on the culture and better tie up of the loose ends (the ending is well done).
This harrowing speculative fiction isn't limited to mothers in crisis, but for anyone trying to survive in their own ways. It's thought-provoking and I think Tsao nailed at delivering the purpose.
[ I received a complimentary copy from the publisher - Harpervia Books . All opinions are my own ]
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
Thank you to HarperVia and NetGalley for this ARC in exchange for my honest review!
This was my first time reading what I would consider to be speculative horror, although it was often toeing the line between horror and scifi. The best part about the horror elements of this story is that they’re subtle and not gratuitous. It’s not the first time I’ve seen a main character that’s put in a horrifying situation while seemingly no other character is bothered. The difference here is that the world inhabited by Vivian, the FMC, and her son, Cloud, is not particularly dystopic or horrifying. Life is continuing as usual, although with a lot of considerations for climate change that don’t currently exist. The only real difference is that women are expected to quite literally die during childbirth as a routine practice and be taken over by a better version of themselves.
I admit I’m not a mother, have never wanted to be, and don’t intend to ever be. I have heard second hand how difficult the judgment is from other mothers about how a mother should act, how she should parent, even how she should feel about being a mother. Despite having no interest in having kids myself, this story did an absolutely stunning job of showcasing exactly how that judgment, that comparison and that shame burrows inside you. What if instead of having to strive to be the perfect mother, it was something granted the day you gave birth? What if you could inhabit a new body that doesn’t have fatigue, that’s stronger, that’s perfectly in tune with your child and their needs?
All you have to do is die.
The second half of the book takes an abrupt turn, but I enjoyed it just as much. It’s too difficult to discuss without spoilers, just know that the story has much more to say than what I’ve gone over in my review. Overall a very enjoyable read and I’m glad I requested it.
This was my first time reading what I would consider to be speculative horror, although it was often toeing the line between horror and scifi. The best part about the horror elements of this story is that they’re subtle and not gratuitous. It’s not the first time I’ve seen a main character that’s put in a horrifying situation while seemingly no other character is bothered. The difference here is that the world inhabited by Vivian, the FMC, and her son, Cloud, is not particularly dystopic or horrifying. Life is continuing as usual, although with a lot of considerations for climate change that don’t currently exist. The only real difference is that women are expected to quite literally die during childbirth as a routine practice and be taken over by a better version of themselves.
I admit I’m not a mother, have never wanted to be, and don’t intend to ever be. I have heard second hand how difficult the judgment is from other mothers about how a mother should act, how she should parent, even how she should feel about being a mother. Despite having no interest in having kids myself, this story did an absolutely stunning job of showcasing exactly how that judgment, that comparison and that shame burrows inside you. What if instead of having to strive to be the perfect mother, it was something granted the day you gave birth? What if you could inhabit a new body that doesn’t have fatigue, that’s stronger, that’s perfectly in tune with your child and their needs?
All you have to do is die.
The second half of the book takes an abrupt turn, but I enjoyed it just as much. It’s too difficult to discuss without spoilers, just know that the story has much more to say than what I’ve gone over in my review. Overall a very enjoyable read and I’m glad I requested it.
January 12, 2026
if "nightbitch" and "the substance" had a terrifying, philosophical baby!
this book was such a trippy, unsettling read. tiffany tsao takes the concept of "losing yourself" in motherhood and turns it into a literal, biological horror story. the world-building is fascinating; the idea that pregnancy results in a superior, indestructible version of yourself that literally replaces you is such a visceral metaphor for how society expects women to disappear into the role of a mother.
Vivi was a compelling, if deeply stressed, protagonist. i loved the "glitch in the system" aspect where her rebirth didn't go as planned, leaving her to navigate a world that has no room for "broken" versions of women. it definitely reminded me of weird momhood litfic with its focus on the grotesque and the physical transformation of the female body. i loved philosophical questions about identity and what we owe to our past selves were the strongest parts for me. it’s propulsive and moves quickly, though at times it felt a bit heavy-handed with the metaphors. still, it’s a gripping speculative tale that will make you look at the "mundane" parts of parenting in a much darker light.
definitely worth a read if you like feminist horror that makes you think. i enjoyed it so much.
4 ⭐️🫶🏼
thank you HarperVia!
this book was such a trippy, unsettling read. tiffany tsao takes the concept of "losing yourself" in motherhood and turns it into a literal, biological horror story. the world-building is fascinating; the idea that pregnancy results in a superior, indestructible version of yourself that literally replaces you is such a visceral metaphor for how society expects women to disappear into the role of a mother.
Vivi was a compelling, if deeply stressed, protagonist. i loved the "glitch in the system" aspect where her rebirth didn't go as planned, leaving her to navigate a world that has no room for "broken" versions of women. it definitely reminded me of weird momhood litfic with its focus on the grotesque and the physical transformation of the female body. i loved philosophical questions about identity and what we owe to our past selves were the strongest parts for me. it’s propulsive and moves quickly, though at times it felt a bit heavy-handed with the metaphors. still, it’s a gripping speculative tale that will make you look at the "mundane" parts of parenting in a much darker light.
definitely worth a read if you like feminist horror that makes you think. i enjoyed it so much.
4 ⭐️🫶🏼
thank you HarperVia!
Want to Read
March 12, 2026This sounds completely creepy and uncomfortable and I can't wait to read it!
A huge thank you to the author and publisher for providing an e-ARC via Netgalley. This does not affect my opinion regarding the book.
A huge thank you to the author and publisher for providing an e-ARC via Netgalley. This does not affect my opinion regarding the book.
April 24, 2026
This book was gifted to me by the publisher.
Who am I, if I’m not myself?
A grisly commentary on what it means to become a mother and bring new life into this world. In Tiffany Tsao’s “But Won’t I Miss Me,” embracing motherhood comes with another benefit - birthing a new you that consumes the old you.
Once Vivi is expecting her first child, she is panicked at the idea of rebirth. While those around her don’t see what there is to worry about, Vivian asks “But won’t I miss me?”
Touching, brutal and thoughtful - I couldn’t put this one down. It is easily one of the best books I’ve read this year so far.
Who am I, if I’m not myself?
A grisly commentary on what it means to become a mother and bring new life into this world. In Tiffany Tsao’s “But Won’t I Miss Me,” embracing motherhood comes with another benefit - birthing a new you that consumes the old you.
Once Vivi is expecting her first child, she is panicked at the idea of rebirth. While those around her don’t see what there is to worry about, Vivian asks “But won’t I miss me?”
Touching, brutal and thoughtful - I couldn’t put this one down. It is easily one of the best books I’ve read this year so far.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
In a world where freshly postpartum women replace their old body with a new and improved version to more efficiently undertake their new role of mother, Vivi is consumed with anxiety about her impending matrescence. Then the day comes and unlike basically every other mother in the world, her new form is a diminished version of herself and her struggles only grow alongside her son.
This is exactly what I’m looking for when I say I enjoy stories about motherhood. I enjoyed how much time we spend in our main character's head throughout the book, really feeling her anxiety grow and seeing her perspective juxtaposed with the responses of everyone around her- "well everyone else does it why are you struggling so much." I enjoyed the commentary on motherhood the book posits. There was one part where I was so surprised by the turn I squealed and could not put the book down after that. I finished it a little after 2am this morning and had to come talk about it right away. This was unhinged and bizarre but at the same time felt so familiar and as someone who also had a tumultuous matrescence, this really hit a sweet spot for me.
Thank you to Net Galley, HarperVia, and the author for the opportunity to read and review the book early. All opinions are my own.
This is exactly what I’m looking for when I say I enjoy stories about motherhood. I enjoyed how much time we spend in our main character's head throughout the book, really feeling her anxiety grow and seeing her perspective juxtaposed with the responses of everyone around her- "well everyone else does it why are you struggling so much." I enjoyed the commentary on motherhood the book posits. There was one part where I was so surprised by the turn I squealed and could not put the book down after that. I finished it a little after 2am this morning and had to come talk about it right away. This was unhinged and bizarre but at the same time felt so familiar and as someone who also had a tumultuous matrescence, this really hit a sweet spot for me.
Thank you to Net Galley, HarperVia, and the author for the opportunity to read and review the book early. All opinions are my own.
April 13, 2026
But Won’t I Miss Me | ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 | Literary Thriller & Horror | 320 Pages | ARC EBook
This is an incredible dystopian-like thriller about the horrors of motherhood and the extremely high pressures put on women in our society.
“Re-birth” is a process where the pregnant mother delivers not only the baby, but a small slug-like object that unalives the mom, eats her whole and then becomes a stronger, slimmer, “better” version of the original mother.
“It’s nature’s way.” - But should it be? And what happens when the status quo is challenged?
This is the kind of story where you don’t want to immediately start a new book because you’ve got to process what you’ve just experienced. But Won’t I Miss Me takes a haunting look into how we view women and that sometimes as mothers - we just don’t feel like we’re ever good enough.
Highly recommend! For any little fic or horror friend.
This is an incredible dystopian-like thriller about the horrors of motherhood and the extremely high pressures put on women in our society.
“Re-birth” is a process where the pregnant mother delivers not only the baby, but a small slug-like object that unalives the mom, eats her whole and then becomes a stronger, slimmer, “better” version of the original mother.
“It’s nature’s way.” - But should it be? And what happens when the status quo is challenged?
This is the kind of story where you don’t want to immediately start a new book because you’ve got to process what you’ve just experienced. But Won’t I Miss Me takes a haunting look into how we view women and that sometimes as mothers - we just don’t feel like we’re ever good enough.
Highly recommend! For any little fic or horror friend.
December 3, 2025
Thank you NetGalley and HarperVia for this ARC!
Vivi is a new mother who is struggling with her postpartum self. But how could she be? In a world of rebirth, new mothers are expected to become borderline superhuman. So what went wrong? Her marriage falls apart, and she soon has no choice but to get her old job back, and start life anew.
Three words I’d use to describe this book: beautiful, devastating, and uncomfortable. I loved the multicultural experience this book offers. It takes place in Australia and Indonesia, with characters from various cultures, united over their roots and work. Descriptions were very vivid, very engaging, and I found myself coming up with images in my head nonstop. Always fun when books tap into your imagination.
Main story wise, i had complicated feelings for the main character, Vivi. Sometimes I’m feeling empathetic, sometimes i find myself losing patience with her. I love that layered personality that really came with every recurring character. Even till the end, I wasn’t sure how I truly felt.
The horrific bits though really does cement my choice to be childfree. I know this is fiction, but let’s not pretend mothers have it super easy in real life either. Even though I’m not a mother, I have compassion and I felt terrible for the women in the book. The price you pay to give birth… how much sacrifice is considered adequate? Can you live up to expectations? Do you lose yourself? And is that what you truly want?
Absolutely recommend this book to everyone.
Vivi is a new mother who is struggling with her postpartum self. But how could she be? In a world of rebirth, new mothers are expected to become borderline superhuman. So what went wrong? Her marriage falls apart, and she soon has no choice but to get her old job back, and start life anew.
Three words I’d use to describe this book: beautiful, devastating, and uncomfortable. I loved the multicultural experience this book offers. It takes place in Australia and Indonesia, with characters from various cultures, united over their roots and work. Descriptions were very vivid, very engaging, and I found myself coming up with images in my head nonstop. Always fun when books tap into your imagination.
Main story wise, i had complicated feelings for the main character, Vivi. Sometimes I’m feeling empathetic, sometimes i find myself losing patience with her. I love that layered personality that really came with every recurring character. Even till the end, I wasn’t sure how I truly felt.
The horrific bits though really does cement my choice to be childfree. I know this is fiction, but let’s not pretend mothers have it super easy in real life either. Even though I’m not a mother, I have compassion and I felt terrible for the women in the book. The price you pay to give birth… how much sacrifice is considered adequate? Can you live up to expectations? Do you lose yourself? And is that what you truly want?
Absolutely recommend this book to everyone.
November 28, 2025
But Won’t I Miss Me by Tiffany Tsao takes places in an alternate reality where women get super powers after childbirth when they go through a process called “rebirth.” This book follows Vivi who has gone through the process but something went wrong and she is struggling to keep up with her young child. This is not normal in this reality so she feels judged by all those around her. Will she hit a breaking point?
I need everyone to put this book on their radar because it was so good! The commentary on how society treats women, especially women going through postpartum depressions is searing. This also deals heavily with how women change after childbirth and become a new person and how some women struggle to juggle everything.
There is a mystery throughout this book that kept me flying through the pages. There are also some horrific moments that actually made me stop reading and stare at a wall for a little while. I can see this book being very well received by the right audience so I’m hoping people read it. I know I will be highly recommending it!
I need everyone to put this book on their radar because it was so good! The commentary on how society treats women, especially women going through postpartum depressions is searing. This also deals heavily with how women change after childbirth and become a new person and how some women struggle to juggle everything.
There is a mystery throughout this book that kept me flying through the pages. There are also some horrific moments that actually made me stop reading and stare at a wall for a little while. I can see this book being very well received by the right audience so I’m hoping people read it. I know I will be highly recommending it!
April 12, 2026
But I Won’t Miss Me is an incredibly unique and deeply dark story that explores complex thoughts and themes surrounding motherhood. While I can appreciate the ambition and originality of the storytelling, the narrative itself felt a bit strange at times, which made it difficult for me to fully connect with.
I received an advance listening copy of the audiobook from HarperVia, and I did overall enjoy the audio presentation.
I received an advance listening copy of the audiobook from HarperVia, and I did overall enjoy the audio presentation.
May 8, 2026
Mother Delivers Child, Mother Eats Mother, Brochure Provided.
BWAF SINISTER SELECTION
BWAF Score: 7/10
TL;DR: Tiffany Tsao has written the rare horror novel that earns its premise sentence by sentence. But Won’t I Miss Me is a book about a third stage of labor nobody questions, rendered in prose so controlled it makes the unbearable readable. The cleanest piece of horror writing I’ve read this year. A title that means more on the second pass.
But Won’t I Miss Me is a horror novel about a third stage of labor that nobody questions. The handbook calls it rebirth. Mother delivers child. Mother’s body produces a hormone. Mother falls asleep. A small, identical self crawls out from between her legs, slug-sized at first, full-grown within minutes. The small self is the mother now, this second one, only stronger. Then it eats the first. Bones, organs, hair, blood. The matter-of-fact tone is the handbook’s, not Tsao’s. Tiffany Tsao quotes the handbook in a block quote and moves on. So does everyone else in the book.
This is the world. Vivian, called Vivi, was supposed to go through it. Something went wrong. She came out the other side without the new-mother muscles, the new-mother brain, the new-mother capacity to know what her child wants without being told. She came out the same person, more or less, only worse. (Her husband, Gabe, finds this unacceptable. His promotion was supposed to coincide with her domestic competence.) The first half of But Won’t I Miss Me is the small irradiated weather of her life now: peanut butter folded inside a slice of white bread, jellybeans her old boss Acek slips to her toddler when she pretends not to look, the puke-yellow sofa in the country house, two pieces of plastic Hot Wheels track that don’t fit together, “machine mode,” the term Vivi uses privately for the dissociated state she enters when her son screams.
The prose moves the way a person moves who has been through something and has decided, going forward, to be precise. It catalogues. The Wiggles on a hobbled DVD whose screen flickers. The Casio watch Acek taps before leaving. The brochure from Mothering Made Simple with its wheel-chart of ideal infant solids. The lentil puree spectacularly rejected. The phrase Persistence is key. Your child’s nutritional well-being is at stake, running through Vivi’s head like a banner ad on a loop. The horror in But Won’t I Miss Me is that mothers eat themselves and the doctors send a brochure home and the magazines run a feature on pre-rebirth nutrition and a small industry of bedside cots accommodates the difference between a new mother’s hyper-vigilance and a father’s clumsiness. The horror is that everyone is nice about it. (Everyone except Vivi, who can’t quite be nice about anything anymore.)
The mommy-blogger setpiece is the cleanest piece of horror writing I’ve read this year. Greta Wilde, on a previous internet, on a tiered hosting plan, dewy-skinned in a tie-dye crop top, has decided to record her at-home rebirth this time, for empowerment. We don’t need to pretend it’s all pretty with a big pink bow wrapped around it, she explains, dabbing at her eyes, careful not to smear her mascara. Tsao films her in two shots. First on the sofa, lit, smiling, sponcon-ready. Then naked on a yoga mat, her new self crouched above her, lifting her by the throat. The blog persona and the body are the same body. The voice gives the reader nowhere to run.
Then the book reorganizes itself. I will not say how. I will say that Part II is told by a different narrator. I will say that the section is addressed to Vivi as a long second-person letter, and that the addressee is the Vivi we already know. I will say that the title, Vivi’s question to Gabe in pregnancy, asked of the embryonic blob in the corner of her thirty-week holosonogram, turns out to be doing more work than it looked like. But won’t I miss me? The book has been answering this question the entire time and we did not know. Read Part I again afterward and the doubled sentences hum with what they were always saying.
Tiffany Tsao is the author of The Majesties and the Oddfits fantasy series. She is also a literary translator from the Indonesian. She received the 2023 PEN Translation Prize for her translation of Budi Darma’s People from Bloomington, and her translation of Norman Erikson Pasaribu’s Happy Stories, Mostly was longlisted for the International Booker in 2022. She holds a PhD in English from UC Berkeley. She lives in Sydney, on Gamaragal land. In her author’s note, she writes that the novel began in 2018, when she was pushing her two young sons in a double stroller down a shop-lined street and her depression had been deepening since the birth of her second. Two thoughts arrived in quick succession: her body as a flooded cavernous house with a tiny version of herself treading water inside it; the possibility that she was not herself, that another version of herself had eaten and replaced her. The book is a working-out of these two images. Knowing this does not make it smaller. It makes the precision visible.
The third part is shorter than the other two and is told by Vivi’s son, now a grown man, now writing a report for a UN maternal health committee. The report is about reforming the practice the book has spent three hundred pages letting us live inside. There is a case to be made that this final movement is too literal, that the metaphor wants to stay metaphor and the ending wants to legislate. I see the argument, and I am not persuaded by it. The literalism is the same literalism Tsao has been using since page one: this is what is happening, this is what we do about it, this is what we don’t.
It is a horror novel and a domestic novel and a Chinese-Indonesian diasporic novel (the May 1998 riots in the periphery, Pa fixated on a motherland he never lived in, the long shadow of the 1965-66 anti-communist massacres, Acek’s quiet history of being “different” in his Medan childhood) and it does not act as if it has to choose. The world it builds is grim and energy-rationed and reasonable, fitted with hobbled toaster ovens and Eco-Quik liners and bioluminescent worm-bollards in the streets of Bangkok, and the worst thing that happens in it is what happens to women, and the women keep showing up to work. The book is about the women keeping showing up. Vivi, in machine mode, picking up the lentil-stuffed pasta tubes from the playpen one by one. Her mother, a generation back in Medan, pointing to the place on her foot where a scar used to be.
What Tsao understands, and what makes the book work as horror, is that the question in the title is not rhetorical. Vivi asks it. Gabe laughs. The novel does not.
BWAF SINISTER SELECTION
BWAF Score: 7/10
TL;DR: Tiffany Tsao has written the rare horror novel that earns its premise sentence by sentence. But Won’t I Miss Me is a book about a third stage of labor nobody questions, rendered in prose so controlled it makes the unbearable readable. The cleanest piece of horror writing I’ve read this year. A title that means more on the second pass.
But Won’t I Miss Me is a horror novel about a third stage of labor that nobody questions. The handbook calls it rebirth. Mother delivers child. Mother’s body produces a hormone. Mother falls asleep. A small, identical self crawls out from between her legs, slug-sized at first, full-grown within minutes. The small self is the mother now, this second one, only stronger. Then it eats the first. Bones, organs, hair, blood. The matter-of-fact tone is the handbook’s, not Tsao’s. Tiffany Tsao quotes the handbook in a block quote and moves on. So does everyone else in the book.
This is the world. Vivian, called Vivi, was supposed to go through it. Something went wrong. She came out the other side without the new-mother muscles, the new-mother brain, the new-mother capacity to know what her child wants without being told. She came out the same person, more or less, only worse. (Her husband, Gabe, finds this unacceptable. His promotion was supposed to coincide with her domestic competence.) The first half of But Won’t I Miss Me is the small irradiated weather of her life now: peanut butter folded inside a slice of white bread, jellybeans her old boss Acek slips to her toddler when she pretends not to look, the puke-yellow sofa in the country house, two pieces of plastic Hot Wheels track that don’t fit together, “machine mode,” the term Vivi uses privately for the dissociated state she enters when her son screams.
The prose moves the way a person moves who has been through something and has decided, going forward, to be precise. It catalogues. The Wiggles on a hobbled DVD whose screen flickers. The Casio watch Acek taps before leaving. The brochure from Mothering Made Simple with its wheel-chart of ideal infant solids. The lentil puree spectacularly rejected. The phrase Persistence is key. Your child’s nutritional well-being is at stake, running through Vivi’s head like a banner ad on a loop. The horror in But Won’t I Miss Me is that mothers eat themselves and the doctors send a brochure home and the magazines run a feature on pre-rebirth nutrition and a small industry of bedside cots accommodates the difference between a new mother’s hyper-vigilance and a father’s clumsiness. The horror is that everyone is nice about it. (Everyone except Vivi, who can’t quite be nice about anything anymore.)
The mommy-blogger setpiece is the cleanest piece of horror writing I’ve read this year. Greta Wilde, on a previous internet, on a tiered hosting plan, dewy-skinned in a tie-dye crop top, has decided to record her at-home rebirth this time, for empowerment. We don’t need to pretend it’s all pretty with a big pink bow wrapped around it, she explains, dabbing at her eyes, careful not to smear her mascara. Tsao films her in two shots. First on the sofa, lit, smiling, sponcon-ready. Then naked on a yoga mat, her new self crouched above her, lifting her by the throat. The blog persona and the body are the same body. The voice gives the reader nowhere to run.
Then the book reorganizes itself. I will not say how. I will say that Part II is told by a different narrator. I will say that the section is addressed to Vivi as a long second-person letter, and that the addressee is the Vivi we already know. I will say that the title, Vivi’s question to Gabe in pregnancy, asked of the embryonic blob in the corner of her thirty-week holosonogram, turns out to be doing more work than it looked like. But won’t I miss me? The book has been answering this question the entire time and we did not know. Read Part I again afterward and the doubled sentences hum with what they were always saying.
Tiffany Tsao is the author of The Majesties and the Oddfits fantasy series. She is also a literary translator from the Indonesian. She received the 2023 PEN Translation Prize for her translation of Budi Darma’s People from Bloomington, and her translation of Norman Erikson Pasaribu’s Happy Stories, Mostly was longlisted for the International Booker in 2022. She holds a PhD in English from UC Berkeley. She lives in Sydney, on Gamaragal land. In her author’s note, she writes that the novel began in 2018, when she was pushing her two young sons in a double stroller down a shop-lined street and her depression had been deepening since the birth of her second. Two thoughts arrived in quick succession: her body as a flooded cavernous house with a tiny version of herself treading water inside it; the possibility that she was not herself, that another version of herself had eaten and replaced her. The book is a working-out of these two images. Knowing this does not make it smaller. It makes the precision visible.
The third part is shorter than the other two and is told by Vivi’s son, now a grown man, now writing a report for a UN maternal health committee. The report is about reforming the practice the book has spent three hundred pages letting us live inside. There is a case to be made that this final movement is too literal, that the metaphor wants to stay metaphor and the ending wants to legislate. I see the argument, and I am not persuaded by it. The literalism is the same literalism Tsao has been using since page one: this is what is happening, this is what we do about it, this is what we don’t.
It is a horror novel and a domestic novel and a Chinese-Indonesian diasporic novel (the May 1998 riots in the periphery, Pa fixated on a motherland he never lived in, the long shadow of the 1965-66 anti-communist massacres, Acek’s quiet history of being “different” in his Medan childhood) and it does not act as if it has to choose. The world it builds is grim and energy-rationed and reasonable, fitted with hobbled toaster ovens and Eco-Quik liners and bioluminescent worm-bollards in the streets of Bangkok, and the worst thing that happens in it is what happens to women, and the women keep showing up to work. The book is about the women keeping showing up. Vivi, in machine mode, picking up the lentil-stuffed pasta tubes from the playpen one by one. Her mother, a generation back in Medan, pointing to the place on her foot where a scar used to be.
What Tsao understands, and what makes the book work as horror, is that the question in the title is not rhetorical. Vivi asks it. Gabe laughs. The novel does not.
Read
May 6, 2026Review copied received from publisher.
I’ll admit that I'm partially at fault here: I came to this book expecting Horror (The Substance is one of its comps), but it’s actually a spec-fic story with some scenes describing light body horror (if that). That’s totally on me! And the concept is an interesting one: when women give birth they also birth their replacement, who consumes them to become an all-powerful and energized mother. This procedure doesn’t work for Vivi, who is left even more tired and weak than before. Just from two lines you get the gist here -we expect (brand new) moms to be able to do it all, and we think less of them if they don't meet this crazy standard.
If the story had just focused on that and made it actually creepy or horrific (beyond what we demand of women) this would have really worked for me, and maybe I would have forgiven its pedestrian prose. The problem comes when so many things are tacked on that end up going nowhere.
For instance, there’s this cli-fi angle where the world has switched from AC to DC power and certain foods aren’t available because they aren’t sustainable (crying about rice!!). Beyond getting a Wikipedia-style explanation as to why DC is more efficient, this really doesn’t amount to much. Vivi has a job as a ‘hobbler’, maintaining appliances for customers who can’t make the switch to DC. There is a discussion about how she should learn new skills for her future prospects; she doesn’t take the advice and umm still has a job as a hobbler. ok. She does have money problems later, but it isn’t too much of a focus here, since it seems everyone around her is having the same issues. (I guess it was a quick lesson on not depending on your husband economically?)
The Chinese diaspora is brought up; many of the women Vivi works with are of Chinese descent but from different countries. Other than it being mentioned once or twice - a character thinks all Chinese people are the same…what?!- this isn’t developed and I don’t know what effect it has on the plot.
Now, what I don’t think is my fault is how much this book over-explains. From the most inane things (did you know if someone asks “how old?’ when you’re talking about your kids they want to know the age of the child? That two years is almost the same as 26 months?!) to a retelling of the whole plot, this book felt like it needed to spell EVERYTHING out. Do we not trust readers to understand conversations? Are we trying to reach a word count (why do I need to know random characters’ ages and nicknames when they aren’t part of the plot?)?
Any sort of tension is bogged down with so much unneeded baggage. You have a woman losing part of herself in motherhood, not stepping up or meeting these new insane standards, not understanding what is wrong with her; this is dark, strange, real stuff. As a metaphor to PPD, this could have been amazing if it had really dug in. When we get to a reveal halfway through, I thought the pace would pick up and the story would really go there. Instead, the book doesn’t know when to end after retelling the whole story once more.
I’ll admit that I'm partially at fault here: I came to this book expecting Horror (The Substance is one of its comps), but it’s actually a spec-fic story with some scenes describing light body horror (if that). That’s totally on me! And the concept is an interesting one: when women give birth they also birth their replacement, who consumes them to become an all-powerful and energized mother. This procedure doesn’t work for Vivi, who is left even more tired and weak than before. Just from two lines you get the gist here -we expect (brand new) moms to be able to do it all, and we think less of them if they don't meet this crazy standard.
If the story had just focused on that and made it actually creepy or horrific (beyond what we demand of women) this would have really worked for me, and maybe I would have forgiven its pedestrian prose. The problem comes when so many things are tacked on that end up going nowhere.
For instance, there’s this cli-fi angle where the world has switched from AC to DC power and certain foods aren’t available because they aren’t sustainable (crying about rice!!). Beyond getting a Wikipedia-style explanation as to why DC is more efficient, this really doesn’t amount to much. Vivi has a job as a ‘hobbler’, maintaining appliances for customers who can’t make the switch to DC. There is a discussion about how she should learn new skills for her future prospects; she doesn’t take the advice and umm still has a job as a hobbler. ok. She does have money problems later, but it isn’t too much of a focus here, since it seems everyone around her is having the same issues. (I guess it was a quick lesson on not depending on your husband economically?)
The Chinese diaspora is brought up; many of the women Vivi works with are of Chinese descent but from different countries. Other than it being mentioned once or twice - a character thinks all Chinese people are the same…what?!- this isn’t developed and I don’t know what effect it has on the plot.
Now, what I don’t think is my fault is how much this book over-explains. From the most inane things (did you know if someone asks “how old?’ when you’re talking about your kids they want to know the age of the child? That two years is almost the same as 26 months?!) to a retelling of the whole plot, this book felt like it needed to spell EVERYTHING out. Do we not trust readers to understand conversations? Are we trying to reach a word count (why do I need to know random characters’ ages and nicknames when they aren’t part of the plot?)?
Any sort of tension is bogged down with so much unneeded baggage. You have a woman losing part of herself in motherhood, not stepping up or meeting these new insane standards, not understanding what is wrong with her; this is dark, strange, real stuff. As a metaphor to PPD, this could have been amazing if it had really dug in. When we get to a reveal halfway through, I thought the pace would pick up and the story would really go there. Instead, the book doesn’t know when to end after retelling the whole story once more.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Thank you to HarperVia and NetGalley for an advance copy of this book (expected publication date of May 5, 2026) in exchange for my honest feedback!
Warning: do NOT start this book if you don’t have time to be completely sucked into it, or if you aren’t willing to ignore absolutely everything else in the world in order to finish this book.
I am going to be honest: I do not remember requesting an advance copy of this book. I kept procrastinating reading it, as the description seemed somewhat mehh to me. But, I was absolutely mistaken. Because this book was phenomenal.
Our story takes place in a universe, not too dissimilar to our own, but one in which mothers go through a “rebirth” process upon childbirth. During rebirth, they are gruesomely devoured by a copy of them that was growing in their womb, alongside their child, that then takes their place, and has a new motherly “glow,” with nearly supernatural abilities meant to allow them to properly care for their young. This rebirth process isn’t something that is dreaded, but is something to look forward to—it isn’t viewed as dying and being replaced, but as a new phase of life.
Vivi, our protagonist, is an odd case, whose rebirth endures a complication, and she winds up weak and disabled, rather than revitalized and glowing. She had always been different for dreading the rebirth process, but her concerns were always pushed aside. She asks “But won’t I miss me?”; she seems to be the only person who isn’t comfortable with the idea of being replaced by an enhanced copy of herself. Yet nobody else even validates these fears.
Rebirth is clearly a metaphor for all of the hardships and sacrifices that are expected of new mothers. Mothers are expected to be heroes, they are expected to give up sleep, their own wants and needs, and even their own bodily autonomy, to raise their child. It is a beautiful process, yes, but it is also scary, dangerous, and isolating. Vivi has fears over the real dangers of this process, and she feels isolated, as everyone else glorifies the hardships new mothers face, and nobody else seems to acknowledge the dangers and risks.
Finally, without giving any spoilers, I have to say: there was an unexpected twist somewhere in the book that made my jaw drop. I haven’t seen such an unexpected and well-executed twist since Gone Girl. My god, I had to immediately put the book down and call my partner and scream about how shocked I was. And (as I immediately reread many of the previous passages), that twist did not come out of nowhere—but it was brilliantly hinted at and foreshadowed. I don’t want to go into more detail, because I don’t want to ruin that twist for anyone who might read this, but wow, it was exceptionally well done.
For whatever reason, I had low expectations going into this. But that was my mistake. Because wow, this novel was absolutely brilliant.
Warning: do NOT start this book if you don’t have time to be completely sucked into it, or if you aren’t willing to ignore absolutely everything else in the world in order to finish this book.
I am going to be honest: I do not remember requesting an advance copy of this book. I kept procrastinating reading it, as the description seemed somewhat mehh to me. But, I was absolutely mistaken. Because this book was phenomenal.
Our story takes place in a universe, not too dissimilar to our own, but one in which mothers go through a “rebirth” process upon childbirth. During rebirth, they are gruesomely devoured by a copy of them that was growing in their womb, alongside their child, that then takes their place, and has a new motherly “glow,” with nearly supernatural abilities meant to allow them to properly care for their young. This rebirth process isn’t something that is dreaded, but is something to look forward to—it isn’t viewed as dying and being replaced, but as a new phase of life.
Vivi, our protagonist, is an odd case, whose rebirth endures a complication, and she winds up weak and disabled, rather than revitalized and glowing. She had always been different for dreading the rebirth process, but her concerns were always pushed aside. She asks “But won’t I miss me?”; she seems to be the only person who isn’t comfortable with the idea of being replaced by an enhanced copy of herself. Yet nobody else even validates these fears.
Rebirth is clearly a metaphor for all of the hardships and sacrifices that are expected of new mothers. Mothers are expected to be heroes, they are expected to give up sleep, their own wants and needs, and even their own bodily autonomy, to raise their child. It is a beautiful process, yes, but it is also scary, dangerous, and isolating. Vivi has fears over the real dangers of this process, and she feels isolated, as everyone else glorifies the hardships new mothers face, and nobody else seems to acknowledge the dangers and risks.
Finally, without giving any spoilers, I have to say: there was an unexpected twist somewhere in the book that made my jaw drop. I haven’t seen such an unexpected and well-executed twist since Gone Girl. My god, I had to immediately put the book down and call my partner and scream about how shocked I was. And (as I immediately reread many of the previous passages), that twist did not come out of nowhere—but it was brilliantly hinted at and foreshadowed. I don’t want to go into more detail, because I don’t want to ruin that twist for anyone who might read this, but wow, it was exceptionally well done.
For whatever reason, I had low expectations going into this. But that was my mistake. Because wow, this novel was absolutely brilliant.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
But Won’t I Miss Me had a flawless execution of a wildly unique premise and felt disturbingly timely despite its speculative fiction elements. I’m struggling to figure out how to do it justice in a written review – my most authentic response after finishing was to gush about it on the phone to my boyfriend, then send largely incoherent texts to several of my friends imploring them to read it – but here’s my attempt.
The publisher’s book blurb draws comparisons to both Jessamine Chan’s 2022 The School For Good Mothers, another all-time favorite novel of mine, and 2024 body horror movie The Substance. For readers who have consumed both these pieces of media, that combination might sound absolutely bizarre, but the comparison is actually spot on. I’d also add in a dash of Mickey 17, too.
Tsao’s concept of “rebirth” is novel and fascinating as a body horror premise, yet its existence in her universe doesn’t render the rest of the story unfamiliar; rather, all too much seems recognizable in the cultural treatment of motherhood. Phenomenal, intricate character building doesn’t come at the expense of the plot; Tsao delivers shocking twists that blindsided me yet made perfect sense with the groundwork she’d laid in earlier chapters. I tried to put the book down at 20% and continue with my daily responsibilities, but it totally consumed my thoughts until I surrendered the rest of my afternoon to reading it in a single sitting.
Themes of personhood/selfhood, bodily autonomy, and philosophy of mind was balanced excellently with propulsive storytelling. In that respect, it also reminded me of Ling Ling Huang’s Immaculate Conception. The plot elements aren’t quite as parallel as the earlier comparisons, but some of the themes recalled Immaculate Conception for me, and they’re probably getting conflated in my head because that was also an utterly brilliant read that I gave five stars.
A couple more things I loved:
-Vivi’s “machine mode” is one of the best depictions of depersonalization/derealization I’ve ever read in fiction
-The engineer in me loved the incorporation of Vivi’s electrician occupation and the way that her knowledge about electrical engineering subtly bled into her character’s voice
-On a similar note, this had fascinating worldbuilding and science fiction elements. Everything felt potentially realizable in a future with a greater global push towards environmentalism, especially the details of shifts in agriculture and the grid. Tsao makes subtle but distinct commentary about the economic privilege necessary to switch to “eco-friendly” technology, particularly the way that the working class is pushed towards green technology without sufficient socioeconomic support to accomplish such a shift.
The publisher’s book blurb draws comparisons to both Jessamine Chan’s 2022 The School For Good Mothers, another all-time favorite novel of mine, and 2024 body horror movie The Substance. For readers who have consumed both these pieces of media, that combination might sound absolutely bizarre, but the comparison is actually spot on. I’d also add in a dash of Mickey 17, too.
Tsao’s concept of “rebirth” is novel and fascinating as a body horror premise, yet its existence in her universe doesn’t render the rest of the story unfamiliar; rather, all too much seems recognizable in the cultural treatment of motherhood. Phenomenal, intricate character building doesn’t come at the expense of the plot; Tsao delivers shocking twists that blindsided me yet made perfect sense with the groundwork she’d laid in earlier chapters. I tried to put the book down at 20% and continue with my daily responsibilities, but it totally consumed my thoughts until I surrendered the rest of my afternoon to reading it in a single sitting.
Themes of personhood/selfhood, bodily autonomy, and philosophy of mind was balanced excellently with propulsive storytelling. In that respect, it also reminded me of Ling Ling Huang’s Immaculate Conception. The plot elements aren’t quite as parallel as the earlier comparisons, but some of the themes recalled Immaculate Conception for me, and they’re probably getting conflated in my head because that was also an utterly brilliant read that I gave five stars.
A couple more things I loved:
-Vivi’s “machine mode” is one of the best depictions of depersonalization/derealization I’ve ever read in fiction
-The engineer in me loved the incorporation of Vivi’s electrician occupation and the way that her knowledge about electrical engineering subtly bled into her character’s voice
-On a similar note, this had fascinating worldbuilding and science fiction elements. Everything felt potentially realizable in a future with a greater global push towards environmentalism, especially the details of shifts in agriculture and the grid. Tsao makes subtle but distinct commentary about the economic privilege necessary to switch to “eco-friendly” technology, particularly the way that the working class is pushed towards green technology without sufficient socioeconomic support to accomplish such a shift.
March 16, 2026
I'm finding it hard to figure out what to rate and write about this book, so I'm breaking it down to: the premise: excellent, the characters: great, the twist: WOAH, the ending: thumbs down, the writing: elementary and the pacing: sloooooowwww until like 50% in.
Overall, I did enjoy But Won't I Miss Me, but the execution definitely could've been better. I found the writing to be very direct and spelling EVERYTHING out for the reader, with often too much detailing of things that don't really attribute to the plot. The writing was not as descriptive as I would've imaged, and very simple, I think the author could've done just SO much more with it, it's a fantastic and unique idea that I wish could've been done justice. The ending is really what killed it for me. I don't want to go into details so I don't spoil it, but it just made no sense, and was very abrupt. I'm not sure the author knew how to end it, but I think anything else would've been better than that.
Although categorized as horror, But Won't I Miss Me, feels more dystopian than anything else. There wasn't much horror except like 2-3 scenes, unless you're talking about how the world views women in this universe. In a world where women go through 'rebirths' after giving birth to their child, they also give birth to an identical counterpart that eat the original whole. In turn, the new version of themselves are physically stronger, have more endurance, and have a heightened mother's instinct. The way this story is told, it seems that this concept is not a new thing, but how things have always been in this world. Our main character Vivi, finds herself pregnant, and although she's happy about the baby, she's terrified of the rebirth because although it's still 'her', the original her dies, and she does not want to die. However, after having her baby and going through the rebirth, she finds her outcome much different than what is expected. I'm telling you guys that twist really got me.
The twist was something I definitely did not see it coming, and although the first half was so slow and I was really pressing on, I thought the twist kinda made up for it. And then the ending threw it all away again. I'd recommend this only if you want a quick read, with more storytelling than action, and if you're interested in commentary about motherhood.
Thank you to NetGalley and Publisher for the ARC. All opinions are my own.
Overall, I did enjoy But Won't I Miss Me, but the execution definitely could've been better. I found the writing to be very direct and spelling EVERYTHING out for the reader, with often too much detailing of things that don't really attribute to the plot. The writing was not as descriptive as I would've imaged, and very simple, I think the author could've done just SO much more with it, it's a fantastic and unique idea that I wish could've been done justice. The ending is really what killed it for me. I don't want to go into details so I don't spoil it, but it just made no sense, and was very abrupt. I'm not sure the author knew how to end it, but I think anything else would've been better than that.
Although categorized as horror, But Won't I Miss Me, feels more dystopian than anything else. There wasn't much horror except like 2-3 scenes, unless you're talking about how the world views women in this universe. In a world where women go through 'rebirths' after giving birth to their child, they also give birth to an identical counterpart that eat the original whole. In turn, the new version of themselves are physically stronger, have more endurance, and have a heightened mother's instinct. The way this story is told, it seems that this concept is not a new thing, but how things have always been in this world. Our main character Vivi, finds herself pregnant, and although she's happy about the baby, she's terrified of the rebirth because although it's still 'her', the original her dies, and she does not want to die. However, after having her baby and going through the rebirth, she finds her outcome much different than what is expected. I'm telling you guys that twist really got me.
The twist was something I definitely did not see it coming, and although the first half was so slow and I was really pressing on, I thought the twist kinda made up for it. And then the ending threw it all away again. I'd recommend this only if you want a quick read, with more storytelling than action, and if you're interested in commentary about motherhood.
Thank you to NetGalley and Publisher for the ARC. All opinions are my own.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
'Loved one day, discarded the next....' (Ch 2)
Science-Fiction | Alternate Reality | Psychological / Speculative Horror | Motherhood
This is one where the blurb, alone, boggled my mind 🤯😵💫 and I had to read the story for it's distrubing, fantastical, dysptopian-like, sci-fi ideas.
It reads more like women's or literary fiction with the added bonus of some macabre horror thrown in.
The story goes between the present and flashbacks. Viv's excitement and fears surrounding their society's norm for birth — rebirth, where alongside the baby, the form is birthed taking on a monstrous quality that consumes the old and transforms into the supermom — the Wonder Woman, the woman who can do it all. Except Viv's is faulty, and she is more or less the unfortunate and lesser mother that struggles with motherhood and all it entails (more likely a good representation of an everyday mother in our society). She is doing her best, but is exhausted and overwhelmed, feeling like she's failing and isn't doing or can't physically do enough for her child, Cloud. And because she isn't the perfect mother she is supposed to be, by design, she is regarded differently — with stares, disdain, indifference, and/or pity.
'A familiar image comes to mind: that my life is a long road down which I journey in my weary body, stepping step after step until I reach its end.' (Ch 2)
Viv's coping mechanisms were sad, but how many of us go through that, where in order to escape the scrutiny, condensation, and judgment, we retreat into ourselves and function on autopilot.
'I’m not yearning for what happened but for what never could. A longing for something still formless, that never was and therefore can’t be articulated.' (Part 2, Ch 1)
The twist, maybe more of a thunder clap interruption, was sudden and surprising about midway. I was a little confused, so I had to go back and reread the particular chapter after that shocker. It took me a minute, but then what I was reading became clear and 🤯.
'I blinked again. The image resolved, with startling clarity—but a different one, not the image I’d been craning to see.' (Part 2, Ch 5)
After all that, it was really a sad, sad story on several levels.
eARC courtesy of NetGalley | HarperCollins / HarperVia
Science-Fiction | Alternate Reality | Psychological / Speculative Horror | Motherhood
This is one where the blurb, alone, boggled my mind 🤯😵💫 and I had to read the story for it's distrubing, fantastical, dysptopian-like, sci-fi ideas.
It reads more like women's or literary fiction with the added bonus of some macabre horror thrown in.
The story goes between the present and flashbacks. Viv's excitement and fears surrounding their society's norm for birth — rebirth, where alongside the baby, the form is birthed taking on a monstrous quality that consumes the old and transforms into the supermom — the Wonder Woman, the woman who can do it all. Except Viv's is faulty, and she is more or less the unfortunate and lesser mother that struggles with motherhood and all it entails (more likely a good representation of an everyday mother in our society). She is doing her best, but is exhausted and overwhelmed, feeling like she's failing and isn't doing or can't physically do enough for her child, Cloud. And because she isn't the perfect mother she is supposed to be, by design, she is regarded differently — with stares, disdain, indifference, and/or pity.
'A familiar image comes to mind: that my life is a long road down which I journey in my weary body, stepping step after step until I reach its end.' (Ch 2)
Viv's coping mechanisms were sad, but how many of us go through that, where in order to escape the scrutiny, condensation, and judgment, we retreat into ourselves and function on autopilot.
'I’m not yearning for what happened but for what never could. A longing for something still formless, that never was and therefore can’t be articulated.' (Part 2, Ch 1)
The twist, maybe more of a thunder clap interruption, was sudden and surprising about midway. I was a little confused, so I had to go back and reread the particular chapter after that shocker. It took me a minute, but then what I was reading became clear and 🤯.
'I blinked again. The image resolved, with startling clarity—but a different one, not the image I’d been craning to see.' (Part 2, Ch 5)
After all that, it was really a sad, sad story on several levels.
eARC courtesy of NetGalley | HarperCollins / HarperVia
May 5, 2026
Thank you to NetGalley and HarperVia, as well as the author, for this ARC in exchange for my honest review.
#NetGalley #HarperVia #ButIWontMissMe #TiffanyTsao #Horror #Fiction #Reading #Books #Bookreviews
Title: But I Won’t Miss Me
Author: Tiffany Tsao
Format: eBook
Publisher: HarperVia
Publication Date: May 5, 2026
Rating: 4.5 Stars rounded up to 5
Themes: Pregnancy, childbirth, rebirth, dystopia, body horror
Trigger Warning: pregnancy, childbirth, dystopia, divorce, body horror, gore, rebirth, uncomfortable situations
This was very different for me. I keep reading reviews that compare it to “The Substance”, which I have not seen. This novel takes place in a dystopian reality in which women who give birth undergo “rebirth”. Each baby is a smaller version of his or her mother. The baby then consumes her mother, and this creates a new and improved version of her who then replaces her. When Vivi gives birth, something goes wrong, and she’s weakened rather than strengthened. Vivi’s husband divorces her, and she moves with her baby to work for a former employer. Vivi struggles with her new situation, but she keeps going for the sake of her son until she finds out why her pregnancy and childbirth went wrong.
This was a very unique book. I was blown away by the creativity displayed by the author. While this doesn’t read like a traditional horror novel, it’s definitely disturbing. The concept is just chilling. Basically, a woman dies whenever she gives birth. I felt like I was a completely different person when I was a new mother, so this felt very relatable to me. I’m not the only one to feel this way. The book goes on to address how society treats mothers and motherhood and being true to your true self. While I did feel like this book took things a little too slowly, it forces the reader to sit with the uncomfortable look at motherhood. This is an unflinching look at how mothers are perceived and treated.
I recommend going into this as blindly as possible. It’s not a quick or easy read. Let it unfold and sit with the disturbing.
#NetGalley #HarperVia #ButIWontMissMe #TiffanyTsao #Horror #Fiction #Reading #Books #Bookreviews
Title: But I Won’t Miss Me
Author: Tiffany Tsao
Format: eBook
Publisher: HarperVia
Publication Date: May 5, 2026
Rating: 4.5 Stars rounded up to 5
Themes: Pregnancy, childbirth, rebirth, dystopia, body horror
Trigger Warning: pregnancy, childbirth, dystopia, divorce, body horror, gore, rebirth, uncomfortable situations
This was very different for me. I keep reading reviews that compare it to “The Substance”, which I have not seen. This novel takes place in a dystopian reality in which women who give birth undergo “rebirth”. Each baby is a smaller version of his or her mother. The baby then consumes her mother, and this creates a new and improved version of her who then replaces her. When Vivi gives birth, something goes wrong, and she’s weakened rather than strengthened. Vivi’s husband divorces her, and she moves with her baby to work for a former employer. Vivi struggles with her new situation, but she keeps going for the sake of her son until she finds out why her pregnancy and childbirth went wrong.
This was a very unique book. I was blown away by the creativity displayed by the author. While this doesn’t read like a traditional horror novel, it’s definitely disturbing. The concept is just chilling. Basically, a woman dies whenever she gives birth. I felt like I was a completely different person when I was a new mother, so this felt very relatable to me. I’m not the only one to feel this way. The book goes on to address how society treats mothers and motherhood and being true to your true self. While I did feel like this book took things a little too slowly, it forces the reader to sit with the uncomfortable look at motherhood. This is an unflinching look at how mothers are perceived and treated.
I recommend going into this as blindly as possible. It’s not a quick or easy read. Let it unfold and sit with the disturbing.
December 5, 2025
But won't i miss me by Tiffany Tsao is not a typical insight into pregnancy and post-partum depression. What is usually silenced and/ or dismissed - takes a front row seat here with the descriptive nature of societal views and the mistreatment of women and follow up heath care after birth. It dives into the mental health aspects of post-partum depression and a lack of support.
Vivi is a new mother who is struggling with her postpartum self. In a world of rebirth, new mothers are expected to become borderline superhuman. Yet something went wrong. Her marriage falls apart, and she soon has no choice but to get her old job back, and start a new life.
Having a baby means birthing an identical, nearly indestructible self who will eat her and take her place. This mother will innately know exactly how to be a mother, a wife, and an ideal homemaker.
However, something goes wrong in Vivi's rebirth, and instead of coming out a strengthened super mom, she is weakened from the birth and struggles to adjust to her new life. She refuses to consider her husband's ideas, and the couple divorces, leading Vivi to take the baby to the country where she moves to work for her old boss. Vivi continues to struggle in her new life, but when she finally discovers what went wrong during her rebirth, the question is whether she or her baby are safe.
It takes place in Australia and Indonesia, with characters from various cultures. Descriptions were very vivid and engaging/ immersive.
This dives into how society treats women while going through postpartum depression- it's infuriating. This also dives heavily into how women change after childbirth and how some women struggle to juggle everything. There are some horrific moments that leave you speechless.
I do recommend that everyone read this book at least once in their lives. It is simply odd yes... but if you take a deeper dive... fundamental and essential in understanding the pressures and unrealistic expectations and treatment of women(mothers) in society.
Thanks to HarperVia and Netgalley for the gifted eARC.
Vivi is a new mother who is struggling with her postpartum self. In a world of rebirth, new mothers are expected to become borderline superhuman. Yet something went wrong. Her marriage falls apart, and she soon has no choice but to get her old job back, and start a new life.
Having a baby means birthing an identical, nearly indestructible self who will eat her and take her place. This mother will innately know exactly how to be a mother, a wife, and an ideal homemaker.
However, something goes wrong in Vivi's rebirth, and instead of coming out a strengthened super mom, she is weakened from the birth and struggles to adjust to her new life. She refuses to consider her husband's ideas, and the couple divorces, leading Vivi to take the baby to the country where she moves to work for her old boss. Vivi continues to struggle in her new life, but when she finally discovers what went wrong during her rebirth, the question is whether she or her baby are safe.
It takes place in Australia and Indonesia, with characters from various cultures. Descriptions were very vivid and engaging/ immersive.
This dives into how society treats women while going through postpartum depression- it's infuriating. This also dives heavily into how women change after childbirth and how some women struggle to juggle everything. There are some horrific moments that leave you speechless.
I do recommend that everyone read this book at least once in their lives. It is simply odd yes... but if you take a deeper dive... fundamental and essential in understanding the pressures and unrealistic expectations and treatment of women(mothers) in society.
Thanks to HarperVia and Netgalley for the gifted eARC.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
This is one of those books that you have to sit with when you’re done. Tiffany Tsao has created a work that is paradoxically both terrifying and touching.
Vivian is a new mother in an alternate world where women who give birth to babies also give birth to a fetus-sized “clone” of themselves. The “new” mother grows rapidly and eats the birthing mother and takes her place - physically stronger and better equipped to be a successful parent. In this novel, the process is called “Rebirth.” Something seems to have gone wrong with Vivian’s “Rebirth” because she’s exhausted all the time, has a hard time carrying her son, Cloud, and she doesn’t seem to have the instincts and patience new mothers are supposed to have. What unfolds is a story of Vivian’s relationship with Cloud, what happens when her husband wants her to change, and how Vivian finds her own path forward.
This story was depressing. And I’m okay with that, and here’s why. It’s divided into three sections: one from Vivan’s perspective, one from her friend Nina’s perspective, and one from Cloud’s perspective. And the way the book unfolds, we learn so much more about what happens when we lean into the different points of view. As I was reading through Vivian’s section, yes I felt so bad for her for so many reasons, but I’ll admit it seemed to drag from time to time. But when we move into Nina’s section, everything in Vivian’s made so much more sense. This was such a powerful way for Tsao to tell the story, and it makes me want to read it again - knowing what I know now. The horror here is the struggle of just existing every single day in a world where you’re not enough if you’re not the perfect mother.
If you’re a fan of The Substance and The School for Good Mothers - and you’re interested in reading about the debilitating toll motherhood takes on a person, But Won’t I Miss Me is for you. 4.5 stars for me.
*Thanks to NetGalley, HarperVia, and Tiffany Tsao for this eARC. This review contains my honest, authentic thoughts and opinions.*
Vivian is a new mother in an alternate world where women who give birth to babies also give birth to a fetus-sized “clone” of themselves. The “new” mother grows rapidly and eats the birthing mother and takes her place - physically stronger and better equipped to be a successful parent. In this novel, the process is called “Rebirth.” Something seems to have gone wrong with Vivian’s “Rebirth” because she’s exhausted all the time, has a hard time carrying her son, Cloud, and she doesn’t seem to have the instincts and patience new mothers are supposed to have. What unfolds is a story of Vivian’s relationship with Cloud, what happens when her husband wants her to change, and how Vivian finds her own path forward.
This story was depressing. And I’m okay with that, and here’s why. It’s divided into three sections: one from Vivan’s perspective, one from her friend Nina’s perspective, and one from Cloud’s perspective. And the way the book unfolds, we learn so much more about what happens when we lean into the different points of view. As I was reading through Vivian’s section, yes I felt so bad for her for so many reasons, but I’ll admit it seemed to drag from time to time. But when we move into Nina’s section, everything in Vivian’s made so much more sense. This was such a powerful way for Tsao to tell the story, and it makes me want to read it again - knowing what I know now. The horror here is the struggle of just existing every single day in a world where you’re not enough if you’re not the perfect mother.
If you’re a fan of The Substance and The School for Good Mothers - and you’re interested in reading about the debilitating toll motherhood takes on a person, But Won’t I Miss Me is for you. 4.5 stars for me.
*Thanks to NetGalley, HarperVia, and Tiffany Tsao for this eARC. This review contains my honest, authentic thoughts and opinions.*
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
This is a perfect example of why I hesitate to DNF a book.
In But Won't I Miss Me, women give birth to their babies and simultaneously give birth to a clone of themselves — a process called rebirthing — and that clone then immediately devours the woman. Hair, bones, everything. Then... it takes her place. Same memories, same body, only stronger, same same same.
Only… WTF, ladies. You die. You are eaten by a thing you grew inside you that slides out and literally fucking eats you and then becomes you. And everyone is just fine with this. It’s considered natural. Expected. Sometimes even admired. And every time the new you gets pregnant, the cycle starts again. You can be eaten and copied multiple times in your “lifetime.” Seriously, WTF right?!
As wild and fascinating as that sounds, the book doesn’t actually lead with it. We jump in after our narrator, who was terrified to be killed, has already been rebirthed, only... something went wrong. She’s not strong like the others. She’s sickly, detached from her new baby, and clearly suffering from postpartum depression. The doctors run her and the baby through a slew of tests to understand why her rebirthing failed, and determine it was malabsorption, and we follow her through a bit of a boo‑hoo spiral: her husband is disappointed she rebirthed poorly, she can’t do the super‑mom feats the other rebirthed women can, and he’s annoyed at the extra work her weakness creates for him.
This is where I almost DNF’d. It was slow, repetitive, and I knew I couldn’t keep going if that was all the book had to offer.
But it’s not! If you’re reading this and you’re slogging through Part I like I did, wondering if it’s worth it... hang in there until Part II. Trust me. The book shifts in a completely different direction, and suddenly I found myself riveted. Like, fully locked in, didn’t want to put it down, riveted.
And that’s all I’ll say, because like the last book I reviewed, going in blind is best!
I can't wait to hear what you think of it.
In But Won't I Miss Me, women give birth to their babies and simultaneously give birth to a clone of themselves — a process called rebirthing — and that clone then immediately devours the woman. Hair, bones, everything. Then... it takes her place. Same memories, same body, only stronger, same same same.
Only… WTF, ladies. You die. You are eaten by a thing you grew inside you that slides out and literally fucking eats you and then becomes you. And everyone is just fine with this. It’s considered natural. Expected. Sometimes even admired. And every time the new you gets pregnant, the cycle starts again. You can be eaten and copied multiple times in your “lifetime.” Seriously, WTF right?!
As wild and fascinating as that sounds, the book doesn’t actually lead with it. We jump in after our narrator, who was terrified to be killed, has already been rebirthed, only... something went wrong. She’s not strong like the others. She’s sickly, detached from her new baby, and clearly suffering from postpartum depression. The doctors run her and the baby through a slew of tests to understand why her rebirthing failed, and determine it was malabsorption, and we follow her through a bit of a boo‑hoo spiral: her husband is disappointed she rebirthed poorly, she can’t do the super‑mom feats the other rebirthed women can, and he’s annoyed at the extra work her weakness creates for him.
This is where I almost DNF’d. It was slow, repetitive, and I knew I couldn’t keep going if that was all the book had to offer.
But it’s not! If you’re reading this and you’re slogging through Part I like I did, wondering if it’s worth it... hang in there until Part II. Trust me. The book shifts in a completely different direction, and suddenly I found myself riveted. Like, fully locked in, didn’t want to put it down, riveted.
And that’s all I’ll say, because like the last book I reviewed, going in blind is best!
I can't wait to hear what you think of it.
Review of advance copy received from Publisher
🐨Set in Australia, But Won't I Miss Me by Tiffany Tsao explores themes of traditional women's roles in parenting and the household, agency over one's body, fear, grief, comparison, expectations and more.
🐨Taking place in a society similar to our own, environmental impacts have created challenges for most people. Also unique in this society is that when a woman gives birth, a process occurs where the mother is essentially re-born with superhuman strength, energy and organization. All of these combine to help them move through the challenges of parenting young children and running a household with ease.
🐨However, that is not the case for Vivi. She experiences what is called "rebirth complications". When she won't undertake a rather horrifying potential cure, she is seen as the problem and her husband ends their marriage. I alternated between the audio and physical book for this one and Siho Ellsore did a great job with the audio. She was able to capture Vivi's varied emotional state well along with the other characters in the story.
🐨This book would be a great pick for a group to discuss. It raises so many questions by painting situations in the extreme. It holds a 4.14 rating on Goodreads and is listed as horror/sci-fi/dystopan and speculative fiction.
🐨I found the pacing a bit inconsistent. Certain parts of the story were a bit slower - but our character is struggling with energy, stamina and listlessness. I think some of that emotion translated to how I experienced some of the story. For my personal tastes, this was a 3,75/5 star read. Interesting, but a bit inconsistent in some spots.
🐨Thank you to Harper Via/Harper Audio for access to advanced copies of both the audiobook and gifted physical copy. This book will be available on May 5th. All opinions shared are my own and are given freely.
🐨Taking place in a society similar to our own, environmental impacts have created challenges for most people. Also unique in this society is that when a woman gives birth, a process occurs where the mother is essentially re-born with superhuman strength, energy and organization. All of these combine to help them move through the challenges of parenting young children and running a household with ease.
🐨However, that is not the case for Vivi. She experiences what is called "rebirth complications". When she won't undertake a rather horrifying potential cure, she is seen as the problem and her husband ends their marriage. I alternated between the audio and physical book for this one and Siho Ellsore did a great job with the audio. She was able to capture Vivi's varied emotional state well along with the other characters in the story.
🐨This book would be a great pick for a group to discuss. It raises so many questions by painting situations in the extreme. It holds a 4.14 rating on Goodreads and is listed as horror/sci-fi/dystopan and speculative fiction.
🐨I found the pacing a bit inconsistent. Certain parts of the story were a bit slower - but our character is struggling with energy, stamina and listlessness. I think some of that emotion translated to how I experienced some of the story. For my personal tastes, this was a 3,75/5 star read. Interesting, but a bit inconsistent in some spots.
🐨Thank you to Harper Via/Harper Audio for access to advanced copies of both the audiobook and gifted physical copy. This book will be available on May 5th. All opinions shared are my own and are given freely.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
4.25 ⭐️
Read the title aloud, and sit with the horror of potentially losing yourself in motherhood, as if that's all you have now. "But won't I miss me?"
What a devastating and insightful book.
We enter an alternate reality in a parallel timeline where there is rebirth. A world where birthing parents (my own language, this book is fairly cis-hetero and only explores motherhood) birth a new version of themselves, alongside their child. After the child is taken away to be cared for by the medical team, the mother is left in the operating room with this new self. Over the course of a few hours, the new self grows into a full human, then kills and eats the old mother. For the nutrients, of course. (Yum.) This new mother has all of the previous one's features and memories, but also has superhuman energy and strength to care for her new baby.
The new mother is expected to be physically fit, upbeat, not need much sleep, have basically PhD knowledge of child development and education, maintain a sparkling house, cook lavish meals every day (no leftovers!), and still have a ton of libido for regular sex with her husband.
But what happens when rebirth goes "wrong," and the mother is ill. Disabled. Chronically fatigued. Is forgetful. Asks her husband to split the chores. Needs a nap or, god forbid, a day off. She's ostracized and everyone in her family is ashamed of her.
Guys, wait. Is this still spec fic or... did we jump into a different timeline?
This work holds up a mirror to us and the image is not pretty. In addition to looking at gender, postpartum depression, motherhood and disability, it also explores race, class, immigration and diaspora, and other themes like elder care, betrayal, losing friends, chosen family, toxic positivity culture and grief.
Part I was beautiful but Part II blew my mind! I do wish Part III was a little longer, but the ending is still solid.
I loved every single character, all of their anxieties and flaws and hopes and dreams. It was so easy to root for them. (Except for Vivi's husband, he can go kick rocks with no shoes on.)
I can't recommend this book enough.
~ Releases on Tuesday May 5th ~
Thanks to Netgalley, HarperAudio and the author for this audio ARC.
Read the title aloud, and sit with the horror of potentially losing yourself in motherhood, as if that's all you have now. "But won't I miss me?"
What a devastating and insightful book.
We enter an alternate reality in a parallel timeline where there is rebirth. A world where birthing parents (my own language, this book is fairly cis-hetero and only explores motherhood) birth a new version of themselves, alongside their child. After the child is taken away to be cared for by the medical team, the mother is left in the operating room with this new self. Over the course of a few hours, the new self grows into a full human, then kills and eats the old mother. For the nutrients, of course. (Yum.) This new mother has all of the previous one's features and memories, but also has superhuman energy and strength to care for her new baby.
The new mother is expected to be physically fit, upbeat, not need much sleep, have basically PhD knowledge of child development and education, maintain a sparkling house, cook lavish meals every day (no leftovers!), and still have a ton of libido for regular sex with her husband.
But what happens when rebirth goes "wrong," and the mother is ill. Disabled. Chronically fatigued. Is forgetful. Asks her husband to split the chores. Needs a nap or, god forbid, a day off. She's ostracized and everyone in her family is ashamed of her.
Guys, wait. Is this still spec fic or... did we jump into a different timeline?
This work holds up a mirror to us and the image is not pretty. In addition to looking at gender, postpartum depression, motherhood and disability, it also explores race, class, immigration and diaspora, and other themes like elder care, betrayal, losing friends, chosen family, toxic positivity culture and grief.
Part I was beautiful but Part II blew my mind! I do wish Part III was a little longer, but the ending is still solid.
I loved every single character, all of their anxieties and flaws and hopes and dreams. It was so easy to root for them. (Except for Vivi's husband, he can go kick rocks with no shoes on.)
I can't recommend this book enough.
~ Releases on Tuesday May 5th ~
Thanks to Netgalley, HarperAudio and the author for this audio ARC.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
I wanted to like this book right up to the bitter end. This book had so much promise conceptually, and I was hopeful that it might not be as much of a slog as Nightbitch, which the marketing materials compared it to. It WAS easier to get through than that book, but I still struggled to get it across the finish line.
I think one problem is that too much stuff is going on here: women give birth to a replacement self that consumes the former self and gains super mommy powers post birth: wow! We follow a Chinese-indonesian immigrant to Australia as she seeks to start a family after the death of her mother: wow! AND there's a climate sort-of dystopia that never quite disturbs anyone aside from inconsequentially ratcheting up the poverty for most of the characters and forcing the reader to kind of learn about alternating currents-- but not really?
Clearly this last bit is the least developed, and almost certainly the least necessary. Tsao has the writing chops to make this a family story, and she draws on many real experiences of the Chinese community in Medan, so this extra layer about the power grid just feels like a wonky distraction laid over the actual experiences of a real people. And structurally, I don't think the novel is helped by the fact that much of the second half of the book is a retelling of events in the first half.
Lastly, I would beg the publisher to remove comparisons to The Substance. I acknowledge it's there in concept, but this is an earnest book with none of the tonal zaniness that exists in Fargeat's wild movie. That said, I think this book will have happy readers; I just wasn't one of them.
Thank you to NetGalley and HarperCollins for the advance copy!
I think one problem is that too much stuff is going on here: women give birth to a replacement self that consumes the former self and gains super mommy powers post birth: wow! We follow a Chinese-indonesian immigrant to Australia as she seeks to start a family after the death of her mother: wow! AND there's a climate sort-of dystopia that never quite disturbs anyone aside from inconsequentially ratcheting up the poverty for most of the characters and forcing the reader to kind of learn about alternating currents-- but not really?
Clearly this last bit is the least developed, and almost certainly the least necessary. Tsao has the writing chops to make this a family story, and she draws on many real experiences of the Chinese community in Medan, so this extra layer about the power grid just feels like a wonky distraction laid over the actual experiences of a real people. And structurally, I don't think the novel is helped by the fact that much of the second half of the book is a retelling of events in the first half.
Lastly, I would beg the publisher to remove comparisons to The Substance. I acknowledge it's there in concept, but this is an earnest book with none of the tonal zaniness that exists in Fargeat's wild movie. That said, I think this book will have happy readers; I just wasn't one of them.
Thank you to NetGalley and HarperCollins for the advance copy!
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
This novel sucked me in right from the start. I can never pass up a book about motherhood, but this was unlike anything I’ve ever read.
“But Won’t I Miss Me” blends science fiction with horror in creating a world where laboring women birth another version of themselves after having the baby. The new self literally kills the woman and replaces her. What a fascinating way to explore postpartum issues like PP anxiety, depression and dissociation that mothers experience after birth. I was left speechless several times over the course of this novel.
This novel is set mostly in Australia, but as an American I resonated deeply with the dismissal of birth trauma that the main character experienced. Research shows clearly that a woman’s birthing experience does in fact affect her long-term mental health and is critical for allowing her to bond with her new baby. This novel’s clever premise allows for the most shocking version of the “well at least the baby was healthy!” conversation that I’ve ever read.
I was deeply impressed by the exploration of what postpartum does to one’s sense of self, and I think this novel played around with this idea of “rebirth” in a very interesting way. It alternated point-of-view a couple times and I think it might have lost a little momentum in the retelling of the story from multiple angles, but it truly was such an interesting premise and a fascinating novel about pregnancy, birth, birth trauma, and the postpartum experience.
Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC.
“But Won’t I Miss Me” blends science fiction with horror in creating a world where laboring women birth another version of themselves after having the baby. The new self literally kills the woman and replaces her. What a fascinating way to explore postpartum issues like PP anxiety, depression and dissociation that mothers experience after birth. I was left speechless several times over the course of this novel.
This novel is set mostly in Australia, but as an American I resonated deeply with the dismissal of birth trauma that the main character experienced. Research shows clearly that a woman’s birthing experience does in fact affect her long-term mental health and is critical for allowing her to bond with her new baby. This novel’s clever premise allows for the most shocking version of the “well at least the baby was healthy!” conversation that I’ve ever read.
I was deeply impressed by the exploration of what postpartum does to one’s sense of self, and I think this novel played around with this idea of “rebirth” in a very interesting way. It alternated point-of-view a couple times and I think it might have lost a little momentum in the retelling of the story from multiple angles, but it truly was such an interesting premise and a fascinating novel about pregnancy, birth, birth trauma, and the postpartum experience.
Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC.
Review of advance copy received from NetGalley
Set in an alternate future where food, travel, and electricity are highly regulated in the name of environmental protection, women who give birth to a new child also give birth to a fresh, new body with superhuman energy and strength after devouring their old selves. When Vivi has her first child, she is consumed by the fear of consuming her old self--and it's not without reason: her rebirth goes wrong, leaving her weakened and unable to care for her child with the same vigor and skill as the ultrapowerful moms.
I absolutely loved the concept of 'But Won't I Miss Me' but the execution did not work for me at all. The story is told from Vivi's perspective at first, then shifts perspective halfway throughout. With the perspective shift, comes a lot of backstory/flashbacks and completely kills the forward momentum that was introduced with what could have been a jaw-dropping plot twist. The pacing would have been so much more successful for the perspectives to alternate between Vivi and Nina, building the back story and with it the tension. I also found the ending to be unmotivated: it made me laugh and shake my head because I found it borderline absurd.
Just because it didn't work for me doesn't mean it won't work for you, however! It explores a lot of interesting themes related to what we expect of mothers and how sometimes in imagining a better world we still leave already marginalized people behind. Due to the execution, this is a 2.5 star read for me, rounded down. Thank you to HarperVia for the ARC via NetGalley.
I absolutely loved the concept of 'But Won't I Miss Me' but the execution did not work for me at all. The story is told from Vivi's perspective at first, then shifts perspective halfway throughout. With the perspective shift, comes a lot of backstory/flashbacks and completely kills the forward momentum that was introduced with what could have been a jaw-dropping plot twist. The pacing would have been so much more successful for the perspectives to alternate between Vivi and Nina, building the back story and with it the tension. I also found the ending to be unmotivated: it made me laugh and shake my head because I found it borderline absurd.
Just because it didn't work for me doesn't mean it won't work for you, however! It explores a lot of interesting themes related to what we expect of mothers and how sometimes in imagining a better world we still leave already marginalized people behind. Due to the execution, this is a 2.5 star read for me, rounded down. Thank you to HarperVia for the ARC via NetGalley.
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