Cracking Up: From Rising Star to Junkie Despair in 1,000 Days—An Unlikely Addict's Memoir

by Gordon Lownds

Trolling the skanky alleyways of Vancouver’s infamous Downtown Lower East Side, looking for his next fix … it wasn’t where he was supposed to be.

Gordon Lownds’s career was peaking, and he was leading the high-stakes start-up of Sleep Country Canada (now a billion-dollar-plus enterprise).

But with one impulsive ill-fated act, he succumbed to the intoxicating allure of a cunning femme fatale—and her toxic cocaine. His once-prosperous, promising life soon descended into a 1,000-day nightmare of hard-core drug addiction, debauchery, and self-destructive excess.

Plagued by the volatile vagaries of drug dealers, hookers, and bikers—not to mention extortion and death threats—he was putting his company at risk. And as his life crashed around him, he became steeped in self-loathing, bottomless remorse, and unbearable anxiety. Could he hold it all together, or was catastrophe inevitable?

Trapped in the jaws of addiction, he believed death was the only escape.

In a desperate act of self-preservation, he reached out for help. Thus began a twisted, years-long carnival ride through treatment and recovery that spawned its own confounding challenges, exacerbated when Gordon suddenly became a multimillionaire.

For most, the path to healing and freedom from addiction is a road less traveled. Gordon is one of the lucky ones.

412 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 15, 2025

Reviews

[Kevin Bedal]

I learned about Gordon's memoir through a news article and I added it to my "want to read" list. Not only is this story incredibly unique, Gordon's voice comes through so clearly that you feel you have become his friend by the time you've reached the end of the book. His voice is powerful, unapologetic, raw, honest and yet humble and vulnerable at the same time. The book's pace is swift, you are immediately swept up into this story of the ultimate seduction. Who starts smoking crack at 48 years of age? Especially when they are an uber-successful business person? All it took was one moment of recklessness to unleash a beast inside of him that was hellbent on consuming him whole. The biggest problem with crack cocaine is that it has the very real potential to turn first-time users into addicts. It was designed to do that. If this book helps one person avoid making the same mistake, it is worth all of the crap-talk he's going to face in the comments. I couldn't put the book down. Let's face it, the addiction/recovery memoire is nothing new, but this book tells a story that is as unique as the author's voice. The only problem is I want some narrative closure here. I want a sequel that fills us all in on what became of Annabelle after he last saw her, not to mention all of the other characters he has introduced us to. But you don't usually get that kind of narrative closure in life and it can be very dangerous to attempt to reconnect. I highly recommend this book! NOTE: I received an advance copy - opinions are my own.

[Dana Boyle · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW!! Eye-opener!! Raw, honest, detailed, and emotional. Really made me see how fast life can change based on one simple decision. I loved how he was relatable and you could feel his sarcasm and challenging attitude toward those trying to help him. A story of success to struggle and down to the streets. Also a story of friendships, resilience and a return to success.

[RON DUKE · Rating 5 out of 5]

An insightful, disturbing, entertaining bare-all. It is riveting – Gord is a gifted storyteller with a deep intellect and wicked sense of humour.

[David Pennycook · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a story of addiction and ambition . Couldn’t put it down . Recommend to my friends who thought their careers were stressful.

[Sandra Burns · Rating 2 out of 5]

I started this book, late December. Parts of it annoyed me. So I put it down maybe 10 times before finishing it.

This guy graduated from the school of hard knocks, as did I. But, it did not make me into a jerk. I judge men and people on how they treat me and others. Looks are so superficial, even though my husband is a handsome man, with 6 pack abs, broad shoulders and strong muscular skeleton. I fell in love with his kind heart, before I fell in love with him. This is my second marriage.

What really got me, that even though be was an addict and affluent , basically he was a real arrogant jerk.
Especially about women, an old geezer thinking because he is rich he can get a beautiful young woman as a life partner.
The reason those women were with him, was because of the money.
And he is not a good looking man at all, yet he expected the lady he dated to be beautiful and perfect.
I am glad that you kicked the habit, but your pompous attitude is something a woman would have to be constantly drunk or stoned to live with.
No real woman, who is not shallow who has a healthy self esteem; would choose to be with you.
Successful in business, unlucky in love.
You made your bed, lie in it alone until you come off your lofty cloud.

[James Losh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Let there be no doubt this book features sex and drugs. A cautionary tale for this age or any age. Way outside my usual reading lane I was surprised by the honesty and found the book really readable. I happened to meet the author and badgered him into giving me the copy.

Not a sympathetic character through much of the book by the end I was completely on Lownd's side. There were parts of his life I wanted to know more about, in particular his youth working the CNE midway, sounded like an education and a half, but that isn't this story. After a very fast downward spiral, well detailed in the book, getting clean and back into what was left of his life and family was the goal, a distant goal. Almost an overnight fall into cocaine addiction, but a lifetime climbing out.

Lownds refreshingly acknowledges his privileged circumstances, a cocaine addict with money, there are genuine laugh out loud moments (this man knows mattresses go figure), and more than a few troubling pages as he describes addiction, relapse and hope in stark, honest terms.

I'm going to call it a goodread.

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cracking up” was something we said as kids when something was hilarious … but there’s nothing funny about this story. While infused with irony, it's a raw, unflinching chronicle of lives tangled in drug-fueled deceit and despair. I couldn’t put it down … It’s brutally honest, sometimes graphic, and often shocking.

When Gord stepped away from his role at Sleep Country for “health reasons,” I had no idea of the private hell he was enduring—a hidden life as a crack addict. The man I knew, driven and laser-focused, had vanished into an abyss I could never have imagined.

This is a revealing memoir that doesn’t flinch. It’s self-deprecating yet never self-pitying. It’s the story of a man who was a high-achieving entrepreneur and a survivor of his own self-destructive behaviour. That dichotomy—the clash between the boardroom and the back alley—is what makes this book so compelling

[Tabitha Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

As the publisher of Cracking Up, I’m deeply proud to see Gordon Lownds’ story making its way into the hands of readers. At Life to Paper Publishing, our mission is to ensure no story is left behind—especially those that shine a light on the truth, break stigma, and offer a message of hope.

This memoir is more than a page-turner; it’s an unfiltered journey through ambition, addiction, and the courage it takes to rebuild from the inside out. Gordon’s willingness to share his darkest moments alongside his greatest achievements makes this book not only compelling, but profoundly human.

I hope readers will not just enjoy the story, but also be moved to reflect, start conversations, and share it with others who might see themselves in these pages.

[David Carriere · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cracking Up is a brutally honest, deeply compelling memoir that strips away every illusion surrounding success, addiction, and recovery. Gordon Lownds writes with unflinching clarity, taking readers inside a world where ambition, wealth, and self-destruction collide at terrifying speed. The contrast between boardroom power and back alley desperation is striking, making the descent feel both shocking and painfully human. What sets this memoir apart is its refusal to romanticize addiction every loss, threat, and psychological fracture is laid bare. Ultimately, this is not just a story of survival, but of reckoning, humility, and the long, uneven road back to life. A gripping, necessary read that lingers long after the final page.

[Susan Raphael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cracking Up is a wild, brutally honest ride through the highs and lows of success, and the inevitable self-destruction that addiction brings. Lownds lays it all bare—no sugarcoating, no apologies. His story is jaw-dropping at times, yet never feels exaggerated. In fact, that’s what makes it so compelling. The contrast between his extreme wealth and total unraveling is both fascinating and heartbreaking. What really sets this memoir apart, though, is the humor—dark, sharp, and unexpectedly relatable. I laughed out loud more times than I can count, even as I cringed at the chaos. This is the kind of book you tear through in a weekend and recommend to everyone. A gutsy, unforgettable read.

[Allan Madonik · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read the book in less than a week. Gord is not only a great businessman but he has a knack for storytelling and humor. I couldn’t help but root for him while facing adversity because I could tell he has the heart of a champion.