Open Her teaches a man how to embody 7 Masculine Archetypes to engage his woman in a deeper, more passionate dance of love. Each archetype brings a power and a gift, a secret key to his woman’s love and desire. Open Her will inspire a man to love his masculinity and to know the power it holds to open a woman to ever deepening states of pleasure and love.
as deeply insightful and truthful to the mindset, 'needs' and fantasy of women, this book may be, it NEVER pause to realize that love and relationship need perspective of both partners. i understand that the author is presenting her view and it's about women. the book does a good job as far as that is concerned, but as i read more and delve deeper into her perspective, i couldn't help but realize that there is an absolute dearth of any attempt to understand men and their side of the equation. to try to give and think of providing is nowhere even thought of. the author goes on to proclaim women as flowers who need love and care and whose sole purpose is to look attractive and smell good, any women who tries otherwise, works hard to gave back to her partner is proclaimed a lesser beauty and an object not to be wanted by men! the beauty of her writing is that readers are subtly convinced of her linear conclusions about women men and their roles in a relation. lonely and anxious, men and women may think of this as helpful, but anybody in a successful relationship or an even an ounce of understanding and compatibility towards their partner, will quickly realize that this book is hollow and ultimately useless.
It's pretty rare that I can't finish a book, but this one is painful. I almost put it down when she said "watch 4 or 5 rom coms in a row and try to emulate them," but I stuck it out. In literally the next chapter she says, "Christine couldn't take Patrick seriously, because it seemed like he was emulating things he saw in romantic movies." 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️That was it for me. While I'm sure there are some useful nuggets in here, her stories about archetypes are creepy as hell. The photographer who immediately offers to photograph her then asks her if she wants a bath? The dude who says he's in love with her the day they meet? The creeper who gets in a car accident with her and asks her to breakfast on the spot? Maybe this book gives good advice for men trying to bang the author, but if you're interested in building a meaningful relationship with a unique and interesting person, I'd avoid the "advice" in here. The things in here that are potentially useful are all pretty common sense. Keep things exciting, take your partner on adventures, make sure they know you love them and why, listen to your partner, don't just hear them, take the time to learn who they really are. Seriously, this book could be one paragraph long. As negative as this review is, I think the book is a good reminder to keep doing the things that are common sense. I think a lot of guys (including me) do those things for a while, then stop doing them. It's important to keep doing all of the things that build and maintain our love. And men need to make sure they keep doing them and don't slack!
The relationship book that men have long searched for, "Open Her" is more about opening the man's heart to his own destiny, purpose, and desires than about learning tricks to seduce. Tricks are superficial, of course, but making lasting change in your own life is the way to show your woman she can trust you. The book outlines in depth seven masculine archetypes that show differing ways men can lead fulfilling lives with their women: the artist, the poet, the director, the warrior, the sage, the dark knight, and the lover. All archetypes have a skillful side and a dark side. What makes this book remarkable too is how the author illustrates each based on relationships she has had, and how each has affected her, which makes this book useful for the feminine side of the relationship too. Highly recommended.
We all know that you need to make an ongoing effort to keep the romantic flame alive in a relationship, that's why you tell your woman "You're beautiful!" on the regular, right? "Open Her" by Karen Brody explains why this quotidian romantic overture falls far short of making your lady feel seen, loved, and desired. The author is sort of like a female Roosh V. (a comparison I'm sure she would just love). She tasted the rainbow of masculinity and defines seven masculine archetypes in this book - which isn't really "red-pilled", feminist, or anti-feminist. This book and its unique insights on men and women don't really fit into one of our modern culture war camps. My witty and pretty wife and I read this one together, and share takeaways in this podcast: STOP telling her "You're beautiful!" every day & other takeaways from "Open Her" By Karen Brody ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Book Review
When I picked up this book and started skimming through, I did not expect to have my perceptions of myself and my partner to be so dramatically shaken. I had resigned myself to the idea that after 10 years of marriage, things inevitably go stale. It’s just part of adulthood I told myself. Karen presented some principles that shook my perception of myself, and reminded me who I once was: confident, powerful, (dare I say) alluring, to the fairer sex. I lost him somewhere along the way. It suddenly made perfect sense why my wife responded to me without enthusiasm most times. I was weak, insecure, and small. I approached sex like a starving man; willing to take whatever I could get. Damnit, I’m better than that!
Karen, thank you for reminding me of who I am, the power that my masculinity holds, and the gift that it I can give to my bride.
The author starts the book with "golden standards" and that she is a counseling psychologist, but many of her pretentious words are highly subjective and have no scientific basis.
The book is unnecessary long, most useful information is general knowledge.
My fav quotes (not a review): -Page 30 | "My clients often tell me: “I just want a happy woman in my life,” and yet, what they really seem to want is a woman who acts like a man by day and plays like a woman by night." -Page 31 | "You feel it in how a feminine woman affects you. Her femininity permeates and intoxicates you, and it awakens your passion and desire to give to her. If you love her, you’re inspired to do good in the world, to be a better man. A woman’s feminine essence is very much like a river. A man’s masculine energy can be very much like the riverbanks for a woman, a source of solid, uncompromising support. Together the river and the riverbanks are a balanced force, equally powerful and equally necessary." -Page 31 | "Women are accustomed to being desired for how their bodies look and feel. It’s no surprise to a woman that the radiance of her smile or the shape of her mouth turns you on." -Page 37 | "So do you really want a woman who is logical, predictable, relentlessly focused, directed, and centered? Not likely. You might like a woman’s masculine qualities seventy percent of the time, but when it comes to sexual energy and attraction, would you be turned on by such a woman?" -Page 94 | "“Tell me what you love to do,” he said, as we sat together after breakfast." -Page 108 "Now, imagine your guide asking you to decide the best way to get out of the forest at dusk, saying, “It doesn’t matter to me which way we go.” You’d lose confidence. Not only that, the excitement and sense of freedom you had with his lead would diminish instantaneously." -Page 118 "Despite everything you might have learned about women, the woman with whom you want to be in relationship is seeking direction. How do you deliver direction in a way that serves you both? First you notice the direction you’d like to take. If you’re dating, what do want to get out of your first interaction? A date? A kiss? What would be a success? Then, act on it. Tell her you want to take her out. Tell her you want to kiss her. Tell her what you want! You have no idea how compelling this is to a woman." -Page 119 "“Let’s get some lunch.” You feel hungry; you act directionally. That isn’t a question, but a lead. She might say “I’m not hungry, sweetie.” You then act on that. “How about I just pick something up for myself then?”" -Page 120 "At the end of a date, don’t wait for her invitation. Tell her what you want. She wants to know. “I want to see you again. How about Saturday at my place for dinner?” Don’t make the mistake of waiting for her to tell you she wants to see you. It likely won’t happen." -Page 125 "Good choice: Tell her you want to take her out for dinner. Tell her where you want to take her. Be completely present with her and pay attention to her body language. You will know in microseconds whether your offer is going to open her or create more tension. If it is making her tense, have two or three back-up restaurants ready to offer, but don’t get frustrated and just turn the choice over to her. That will only make it worse." -Page 126 "plan is not what’s important. The goal is to move her out of her tension." -Page 134 "The feminine is also a good gauge of integrity." -Page 157 "What is power, if not the ability to choose one’s path in life?" -Page 160 "Imagine this scenario. You’re waiting for an elevator on the ground floor. You’re alone with a beautiful woman. You make small talk for a moment, but she seems genuinely interested in who you are and what you do. As you step into the elevator, she looks into your eyes and says with some urgency, “Assume we will never see each other again; tell me what you love and what you do.”" -Page 165 "I asked a partner once, “If a man raped me, what you would do?” I admit it was kind of a stupid, testing question, but sometimes women ask these kinds of questions when they are feeling a lack in the relationship they can’t quite identify. The hardest part, though, was the silence that followed. What he said, ultimately, after much trepidation was that he didn’t think it would be right to follow one aggressive act with another. It made sense, and yet it left me feeling sick to my stomach. It wasn’t that I wanted to encourage violence, but to think that his first response wasn’t a resounding, “I’d kill the man,” made me question his power and how safe I was with him. As a feminine creature, I’m a feeling creature. My analytical capacity might come to the same conclusion that it doesn’t make sense to answer violence with violence, but my feminine feeling heart wants to know that you feel my pain and would want to kill the man as much as I would." -Page 165 "she needs to know in her heart that if something really bad goes down, you will do that unthinkable thing. I can tell you from experience that those movie scenes in which the hero steps in and protects a woman from danger or violence makes a feminine woman’s heart quiver. The difference between adopting a stance of nonaggression and one of The Warrior is that the warrior is prepared for a fight. He doesn’t want a fight. But physically, mentally, and emotionally he’s clear that if the moment presents itself to fight, he will not waver. That’s the man I want at my side when we’re looking down the tip of a blade or the barrel of a gun. That’s the man I want in bed with me at night when there is a crash downstairs." -Page 167 "How present are you when you are escorting your woman? Let’s imagine that at one end of the spectrum you might be walking down a street in a big city with your woman, completely lost in conversation and oblivious to the world. That might feel very relaxed and relaxing, but it means that essentially both of you are in feminine mode. At the other end of the spectrum, you might be escorting your woman as though you were her Secret Service detail, completely focused on an ongoing threat assessment. This would be the opposite of relaxed and would probably make your feminine partner feel rather tense. Your challenge is to develop the capacity for what is called martial scanning. This means a kind of relaxed attention to external stimuli (what or who is coming toward you, how people are behaving, your relationship to the physical environment) with the capacity to simultaneously put your partner at ease. Martial scanning is holding your body in a relaxed state of readiness." -Page 170 "Soften your focus to take in the full field of peripheral vision (this is actually more useful than allowing your eyes to dart back and forth)" -Page 172 "feminine hearts imagine that they will be with a man who loves both them (Prince Charming) and the world (the Good King)." -Page 225 "Better to lay out what you know and ask something like, “What am I not seeing here?” or, “What am I missing?”" -Page 238 "The problem with giving a woman boundaries is that her heart doesn’t know any." -Page 241 "Why is it that women say they want a sensitive man, with whom they feel safe and protected, but over and over again pick a dangerous man who is just as likely to hurt them or treat them badly? The answer to this question can be found in the archetype of The Dark Knight." -Page 244 "I thought of a sales training I once had where we were told: you can’t sell anything to a stranger." -Page 287 "The masculine desires feminine diversity in the same way the feminine desires masculine depth." -Page 323 "The Lover archetype has discovered the sacred nature of his sexuality. He doesn’t need to bargain or deal to get his sexual needs met. He doesn’t need to prove his manliness through sex. He finds being a man and his sexuality are gifts he can give a woman." -Page 337 "Don’t confuse the need you have to release tension with the desire to make love to your partner. It’s the difference between eating whatever you find cold in the refrigerator because you are “starving” and cooking a gourmet meal for someone you love." -Page 359 "A film director is a great example of a man who inspires and cultivates depth. As a visionary, he holds the whole picture in his mind." -Page 359 "The actors, on the other hand, immerse themselves deeply in the acting process itself and forget the big picture. Their job is to experience total immersion. Lovemaking is much the same way in the masculine role. A woman is an emotional, sensual being – and like an actress acting, her pleasure is found deep in the immersion. She doesn’t want to have to direct herself or tell the director how to direct her. She wants to dive into her experience and let go of where it’s all headed. That’s why if her masculine partner takes responsibility for the depth, she can relax and access her passion. Yes, she can help pull you under and match your depth, but you need to direct the scene and the movie." -Page 391 "You know that the feminine has a deep desire to be seen and celebrated, which is met by the masculine gifts of The Artist and The Poet. The feminine wants to be guided and taken someplace she cannot reach on her own, which is met by the masculine gift of direction (The Director). She wants the man she chooses to have a passion for life and a mission in the world, which shows up as The Warrior energy in the masculine. She wants a man who is trustworthy and has integrity, but at the same time is not always predictable and who is not driven by fear and averse to risk. These are the qualities of The Sage and The Dark Knight. When these aspects of masculine potential are awakened, the feminine can fully open to the lover archetype, and she can surrender in love to a man who is deeply desirous of her without being needy or obsessed by her." -Page 399 "You don’t want obedience in an employee; you want dedication." -Page 406 "The Artist His gift is the ability to deeply see a woman." -Page 407 "The Poet His gift is his capacity to give voice to what he sees." -Page 408 "The Director His gift is the gift of direction – taking a woman somewhere she cannot take herself." -Page 408 "The Artist and The Poet give shape to your loving, but without the forward motion and focus of the director, your relationship will lack directionality. The director takes a woman somewhere, sometimes literally, and sometimes within herself."
Girls like bad guys because bad guys can take care of themselves so the girl can be herself. Also she can show her ‘bad’ sides without the judgement on her or she can play good- Esther Perel
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
This was a great intro to the ways in which a woman views the masculine and their expectations. Good examples from story lines that set up the delivery. Recommended it to several coworkers already. Get it before you need it.
(The English review is placed beneath the Russian one)
Довольно тяжело описать эту книгу, т.к. я даже не знаю к какому жанру её отнести. Дело в том, что в книге встречаются отголоски многих книг. К примеру, упоминание архетипов отсылает нас к Юнгу. Истории пациентов напоминают нам целый жанр и книги похожие на «Мужчины на моей кушетке», «Мальчик, которого растили, как собаку», «Неизлечимые романтики» и пр. Разумеется, это так же и классическая книга по самопомощи связанная с сексуальными вопросами и тут мы вспоминаем книгу типа «Она кончает первой» и другие похожие книги. И даже отзвуки эволюционной психологии и книгу из этой серии - «Эволюция сексуального влечения» - мы встречаем на страницах этой книги. Как видим, это некая смесь различных жанров, в центре которой – архетипы. А это в свою очередь означает, что книга скорее жанра «спиритическая/эзотерическая литература», нежели книга по психологии или по самопомощи. А беда всех книг по духовности, это размытость, неконкретность. Поэтому мне трудно собрать всё воедино и посмотреть на книгу в целом, т.е. я так и не смог увидеть всю картину в целом. Глава за главой описывают лишь что-то одно, в отрыве от всей картины. Т.е. нельзя сказать, что автор предлагает цельную теорию, но скорее - фрагменты, которые крайне слабо связаны друг с другом, отчего мы получаем фантома, а не мужчину, в которого влюбляются женщины.
Ещё один вопрос: а можно ли всё это реализовать в жизни? Некоторые главы вполне реально применить к своей собственной жизни, если после прочтения возникнет такое желание. Но в большинстве своём это либо очень тяжело инкорпорировать свою жизнь либо вовсе невозможно. Ведь автор предлагает довольно серьёзные изменения личности человека, возможно даже новый взгляд на жизнь. К примеру, автор очень точно пишет о постоянно колеблющихся мужчинах, о мужчинах которые перекладывают принятие решения по любому вопросу на плечи женщины (куда пойти, какой ресторан выбрать или даже какое блюдо заказать). Но потом идёт другая глава и всё тонет в неконкретности, пространных размышлениях автора, о которых практически сразу забываешь.
It's pretty hard to describe this book because I don't even know what genre it belongs to. The fact is that in this book, there are echoes of many books. For example, the mention of archetypes refers us to Jung. The stories of the patients remind us of a whole genre and books like "The Men on My Couch: True Stories of Sex, Love and Psychotherapy", "The Boy Who Was Raised As a Dog: And Other Stories from a Child Psychiatrist's Notebook: What Traumatized Children Can Teach Us About Loss, Love and Healing", "The Incurable Romantic and Other Tales of Madness and Desire", etc. Of course, this is also a classic self-help book related to sexual issues and here we are remembering books like "She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman" and other similar books. And even echoes of evolutionary psychology and the book from that series, "The Evolution Of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating", we find in the pages of this book. As we can see, it is a kind of mixture of different genres, with archetypes at its center. It means that the book is more of a "spiritualist/esoteric literature" genre than a psychology or self-help book. But the trouble with all books on spirituality is that they are vague, unspecific. That is why it is difficult for me to put everything together and look at the book as a whole, i.e., I could not see the whole picture. Chapter after chapter describes only one thing, in isolation from the whole picture. That is, you can't say that the author offers a whole theory, but rather fragments that are very loosely connected to each other, which is why we get a phantom and not a man that women fall in love with.
One more question: Can all this be implemented in life? Some chapters are quite realistic to apply to one''s own life if one so desires after reading them. But for the most part, it is either very difficult to incorporate into one's own life or impossible at all. After all, the author proposes quite a serious transformation of a person's identity, perhaps even a new outlook on life. For example, the author writes very precisely about men who are constantly hesitating, about men who put the decision on any issue on the woman's shoulders (where to go, what restaurant to choose, or even what dish to order). But then another chapter comes along, and everything drowns in unspecific, lengthy reflections of the author, about which you almost immediately forget.
My last relationship went from being something from a story book into something from a horror movie. It was everything at a point and with one instance the walls around us came crumbling down. I knew I was responsible for the majority of the collapse sice I made a promise to love her through everything and anything. I failed. Even though I still love her I couldn't get myself to the point to be able to get that love out. So I started searching and reading to better myself for us, for me and for my future. I came across this book one night. At first I thought it was like most other books just info and money maker. Then looked in to Karen Brody some and found this is the real deal. After finishing this I see the picture in a light that I cannot begin to explain. If you're looking to make sense of yourself and how to continue being the love you wish to receive. This definitely will open your eyes. THANK YOU KAREN!
I got this book in a free promotion years ago, but never started it, as there were more established books on the subject. Recently I saw it’s achieved popularity and praise, and that its foreword was by one of my first spiritual teachers, Raphael Cushnir, who I'd spent 3 days with at a retreat and who initiated my journey into emotional presence. Now I regret not diving in earlier.
With the sexy cover, some people may guess it's a manual for manipulating women into bed, but it's 180º from that. Open Her is a guide for (straight) men on enlightened masculinity—on understanding their masculine being in the context of relating with women, particularly romantic love. More than a how-to book, it is a metaphysical guide clarifying truths about sexual dynamics which men often only vaguely grasp, if at all. The seven archetypal qualities Ms. Brody presents are masterfully identified and articulated, and are brought together beautifully and accessibly. There is the sense of being brought back to a lucid benevolent reality, back to ourselves, to principles which should have by now become second nature to us, but which have, amidst a confusing, decadent culture, always been hazy. Even as the author leads men toward life-changing outcomes in relationships, she's also orchestrating a hymn to the human spirit, moving men to heal and nourish their souls. There is so much wisdom here. I’ll be recommending the book a lot.
Slightly different approach to masculine-feminine polarity in this book. The author describes 7 different personas that embody the masculine traits women find most desirable: the Artist, Poet, Sage, Warrior, Dark Knight, Lover, and Director. Each chapter is dedicated to one of the personas and the associated habits, behaviors, and characteristics.
The obvious opportunity with this book is for self-comparison and self-reflection. For me, I related most to the Warrior and the Director while the Artist and Sage were where I have the most opportunity to grow. And for that, each chapter provides actionable practices for those who want to incorporate more traits of a particular persona in their own personality and relationship.
I found value in this book on masculinity and what healthy polarity looks like being written by a woman. Most of the other popular books written FOR men are all BY men. So while the picture of masculinity was more or less painted the same here, it was interesting to watch the author pull back the curtain on the “whys” behind masculinity’s importance to women.
It’s definitely one I’ll flip through again, as there was so much to absorb that I’m sure I didn’t get it all the first time through.
Another surprising, little-known gem. Karen Brody speaks to men mainly, and invites us to embody different archetypes. She reveals seven of them—Artist, Poet, Director, Warrior, Dark Knight, Sage, Lover—and cautions against each one's shadow side. Told in personal anecdotes from her own life, I found Brody's book a true revelation, and a marvelous notion to experiment with. Several other men I've shared it with found this transformed their personal relationships, and I can say the same.
I am now an official fan of the author Karen. I’ve read many books on being an Alpha male by great authors, mostly written by men. I love that Karen is a woman, a true lover, and an admirer of healthy masculinity. She has connected many dots for me with this book and did so elegantly. The writing is smooth & easy, and the insights are wonderful. It was the best 2 days I’ve spent in a long time, thank you Karen!
Really loved the book,the best man book since wild at heart. Two things that bothered me from the book though: 1. Karen(the Author) seems to easily sleep with everyone she ever goes out with? 2.Does she ever commit and finally settle and get married?
Kind of interesting. I have more difficulty believing she's met any the personified embodiment of the masculine archetypes than the credibility of their existence. As a man, you might respond to some of it, and it might give you some awareness of your heretofore unconscious behavior.
A must read for all men ... problems or not this book awakens a lot of what’s already there just helps to communicate and understand the love and spirituality that is women
Fantastic Book I don't know if Karen Brody was David Deida’s girlfriend, or got the exact same insight (and ways of explaining certains stuff) or just stole a lot from him. The same basic concepts and ideas are found here, BUT, the way she share it with her stories is very different and worth reading ! Actually it’s a great book to understand woman better, Karen seems very honest and it’s quite touching sometimes.
Quotes that shows a connection with David : Masculine feminine essence / woman is energy, they feel energy better / Where the feminine identifies with love and relationships, the masculine identifies with freedom and agency / man have to keep their word , woman don’t need to. / the true masculine impulse is to identify with emptiness. masculine is depth , feminine is energy….
This is a wonderful book by an insightful, and quite blunt, (female) counsellor. The gender matters, because she is telling men, in plain English, the sort of man that women are looking to love.
And, at core, that is a man who has sovereignty over himself. A man who doesn't need to be needed, but wants to love the woman in his life utterly. A man who sees his woman truly, can communicate it, lead her, fight for what matters, stand by his values and live on his edge. A man, in short, who wants to live fully, to be the river bed for her feminine river to flow within.
This all has great credibility coming, as it does, from a woman who has counselled many men in relationship issues.
And, in case you need even more explicit instruction, there's a series of exercises throughout the book to develop the masculine powers.
Mrs. Brody uses her own personal experiences to illustrate her ideas of the 7 archetypes, and as a result, many sections of this book read like episodes of Sex and the City: weird, cringy, makes you question the mental sanity of all the characters involved (Brody, her twelve or so boyfriends, and her entourage of counseling patients), and throws at you random stuff like Indian vision quests, tantric sex and unsolicited political comments. Notwithstanding all of this madness, and how repetitive it is, I believe she manages to put into words some fundamental aspects of sexual desire, and at times offers very interesting insights on relationships. In general I don't like the "masculine and feminine energy" theories (though no less than the "it's all about communication" ones), but it helps to see things from a different perspective.
I had read various (half a dozen) books on this topic by "experts" on women's libidos. Most of these "experts" being 'men' or those with 'strict religious beliefs'. Most of these books (however well written or reviewed) left me feeling more depressed at the end, than before I started reading the book. Their general thesis seemed fundamentally flawed. Aka, if you spend more time cleaning the toilet and doing more chores, her libido will suddenly awaken :-|
'Open Her' is completely different to all those other books. A book about women's' sexual desires, written by women. Hmmm, whatever next. Open Her unpacks things in a completely different way. It provides a set of ideas and tools that are refreshing, insightful energizing.
I wish I would have read this years ago. But hey today is the first day of the rest of our lives. Me and my beautiful wife.
This book helps you understand the complexities of the woman. How to to approach her and touch her spirit. It’s not about sex but great sex once you connect
I understand her more and also understand myself. I relate to many of the archetypes the author describes. The good side and the bad side.
Marriage is always a work in progress Educating yourself with knowledge on how to be a better husband and a man is part of the work The rewards are fantastic
The author is pretty off-putting from the stories & stories she writes. The information in this book isn't bad but it's also not new or unique. She expands and gives examples which can be entertaining. But it seems like she has a limited depth of knowledge in terms of masculinity & dating and simply learned it all from reading and being a psychologist. It's moreso a nonfiction entertaining read rather than a self help book. Also, despite the authors flaws she seems to actually care about men and doesnt secretly hate them which seems to be rare among female authors in the self-help / psychology space.