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Church Refugees: Sociologists reveal why people are DONE with church but not their faith
As millions of church members fall into inactivity each year, they've probably also started skipping church on Sunday.
We need answers—not statistics. We need to understand and hear from people who are leaving church so we can find a way to turn around the trend.
This book uses in-depth sociological research to get to the heart of the issue. The data is collected from interviews with real people about why they left and who they really are. These aren’t the “nones” who have no religious affiliation. They’re the “dones” who’ve been faithfully serving in local churches for years. This is their story.
We need answers—not statistics. We need to understand and hear from people who are leaving church so we can find a way to turn around the trend.
This book uses in-depth sociological research to get to the heart of the issue. The data is collected from interviews with real people about why they left and who they really are. These aren’t the “nones” who have no religious affiliation. They’re the “dones” who’ve been faithfully serving in local churches for years. This is their story.
143 pages, Paperback
First published May 18, 2015
73 people are currently reading
424 people want to read
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September 5, 2015
“This book is about a wholly different kind of churchgoer. It’s about people who make explicit and intentional decisions to leave the church and organized religion. We call these people the dechurched or the Dones. They’re done with church. They’re tired and fed up with church. They’re dissatisfied with the structure, social message, and politics of the institutional church, and they’ve decided they and their spiritual lives are better off lived outside of organized religion.” p. 13-14
Packer’s ideas about the Dones could not have come at a better time for my husband and me. We have been frustrated with our faith lives for a number of reasons, but did not realize that our feelings were held by many other people. I had heard lots about the unchurched, but I did not know that many strong believers were headed out of their church doors.
This book is slim; in reality it is probably a long journal article not a full-fledged book. However, it was worth my time. Packard clearly explained the reasons he found that people were leaving their churches and he had enough personal anecdotes to make it clear that these are real people trying to answer real questions. Some of the motives were similar to mine and some were new to me. All in all, this was a useful read for where I am now.
I recommend this book to other people who might be done with church, to those in the church pews who are wondering where everyone is going and to leaders who might be willing to stem the tide of Christians who are fed up with the way church is in the twenty-first century.
Packer’s ideas about the Dones could not have come at a better time for my husband and me. We have been frustrated with our faith lives for a number of reasons, but did not realize that our feelings were held by many other people. I had heard lots about the unchurched, but I did not know that many strong believers were headed out of their church doors.
This book is slim; in reality it is probably a long journal article not a full-fledged book. However, it was worth my time. Packard clearly explained the reasons he found that people were leaving their churches and he had enough personal anecdotes to make it clear that these are real people trying to answer real questions. Some of the motives were similar to mine and some were new to me. All in all, this was a useful read for where I am now.
I recommend this book to other people who might be done with church, to those in the church pews who are wondering where everyone is going and to leaders who might be willing to stem the tide of Christians who are fed up with the way church is in the twenty-first century.
March 1, 2021
This book was an unfolding of sociological findings about people who have left their churches after devoting many years to them. This wasn’t a report on people who drifted away, but rather on those (what this book calls the “Dones”) who made an intentional decision to leave their churches. This book is a bit alarming, and yet it tells the truth of what is happening to some people who have become discouraged with the church, but encouraged in their faith.
I felt compassion on both sides—for the churches and for those leaving them.
Here are a few quotes I found insightful:
“The Dones are done doing things they find to be unconnected with God. Even though a stated message of the church is to be active in the community, and Jesus commanded his followers to care for the poor, the sick, and the hungry, the dechurched have experienced church as an organization that cares primarily for itself and its own members. When the dechurched leave, they take their commitment to others and to living the life they think God wants them to live.” (p. 133)
“Our respondents told us, again and again, in countless ways, that churches who care about the dechurched should….
-create community by eliminating judgment through open conversation
-increase meaningful activity by undermining bureaucracy and emphasizing relationships, and
-do meaningful ministry by engaging their local communities.”
(p. 136)
The authors heard a lot of unpleasant stories in the interview process, and I appreciate that they didn’t pile on all the details, as it would have been very discouraging. They simply told what they’d found and even stated that they are not claiming to have a solution, which, while disheartening, I understood. (I suppose I’m used to reading nonfiction books that solve a problem—this one didn’t. Rather it outlined the problem—an important part of solving the problem, but one that wasn’t tied up neatly in a bow.)
It made me think. And in some of the areas where I can relate to the “Dones” and have felt alone, it made me realize I’m not alone. That was encouraging and I’m pondering how this might play out in a fictional character I write. AND I’m also not done with the church, but hopeful for it to look more and more how Christ would want it. This book helped me to think what part I can play here and now, in my own church.
I felt compassion on both sides—for the churches and for those leaving them.
Here are a few quotes I found insightful:
“The Dones are done doing things they find to be unconnected with God. Even though a stated message of the church is to be active in the community, and Jesus commanded his followers to care for the poor, the sick, and the hungry, the dechurched have experienced church as an organization that cares primarily for itself and its own members. When the dechurched leave, they take their commitment to others and to living the life they think God wants them to live.” (p. 133)
“Our respondents told us, again and again, in countless ways, that churches who care about the dechurched should….
-create community by eliminating judgment through open conversation
-increase meaningful activity by undermining bureaucracy and emphasizing relationships, and
-do meaningful ministry by engaging their local communities.”
(p. 136)
The authors heard a lot of unpleasant stories in the interview process, and I appreciate that they didn’t pile on all the details, as it would have been very discouraging. They simply told what they’d found and even stated that they are not claiming to have a solution, which, while disheartening, I understood. (I suppose I’m used to reading nonfiction books that solve a problem—this one didn’t. Rather it outlined the problem—an important part of solving the problem, but one that wasn’t tied up neatly in a bow.)
It made me think. And in some of the areas where I can relate to the “Dones” and have felt alone, it made me realize I’m not alone. That was encouraging and I’m pondering how this might play out in a fictional character I write. AND I’m also not done with the church, but hopeful for it to look more and more how Christ would want it. This book helped me to think what part I can play here and now, in my own church.
September 6, 2016
I am not just disappointed in this book; I am alarmed.
First off, let me just say that it is obvious that this book was written to the pastors, not to those who are “done”. It makes sense, from the position of selling books, to cater to the larger audience–in this case the thousands of pastors who might want to keep a hold of their “flock” instead of those few within the flock who are considering being “done”. As a “Done”, however, I find this incredibly disappointing. I’d have hoped that the last chapter, deceptively called “Church for the Dechurched” would provide some helpful ideas or resources for people who have had to flee their own churches and who cannot set foot in any new churches without instantly spotting the same warning signs.
What really came as a slap in the face, though, was the complete failure to deliver resources for those of us reading the book who just might be “done”. For example, the web site provided on the back of the book cover (thedones.com) is not even in service–only one year after the book was released! There is another website mentioned inside (thelastingsupper.com) that requires paid membership ($15/month), but the authors didn’t bother to mention that. Very little else is mentioned as far as resources for those of us who have had to leave our church and now just hang out on the fringe.
That’s not what alarms me, though. What alarms me is how these authors think...or perhaps, how they want the reader to think. Here are a few examples.
1)
Early on and often throughout, the authors make it clear that their study is based on a broad spectrum of interviewees from a diverse group of churches, denominations, social classes, and communities. They then point out four common factors in all of these scenarios that tended to cause these people to be “done.”
However, there were two factors quite obviously left out. Factors that almost all churches have in common. The first factor is the credentialed nature of the pastor. Pastors place a great deal of value on their education–or at least, the assertion that they are “higher” than the layman in terms of spiritual leadership. At the same time, the two Academics who wrote this book side with these pastors quite often on the assumption that “Education” (with a capital E because it is a religion of its own) trumps all personal spiritual experiences of those within the church. So a guy who comes to the church after spending years of missions work somewhere else isn’t worth anything to the pastor because he doesn’t have that magical “Masters in Divinity” hanging on the wall behind his desk. It is obvious that these authors cannot see beyond that magical paper as they consistently side with the pastor on this issue.
The second factor is an even greater conflict of interest between these authors and the “Dones”. No matter how diverse these churches, all churches within a community patronize the same local bookstores and the same online booksellers. And these bookstores sell the same books chosen by the same corporate book distributors. And these distributors choose which books get published and sold based not on truth or sound teachings, but on sale potential. And it is very obvious to me that sale potential came into play very early on in this project. In fact, this project obviously would not have made it to print had it not catered to the demands of sale potential.
Sale potential, on its own, is not the problem. It is when the truth doesn’t sell that creates the problem. When truth doesn’t sell, it also doesn’t get preached. Not from the pulpit, not from the small group, and especially not in the community. For decades, Christian teachings have been infiltrated with best-selling, ear-tickling, sugar-coated doctrines that have slowly eroded away the spiritual truths of Christianity. Mainstream “Church” Christianity has become a shadow of what it was meant to be. Many of these “Dones” seem to get that. I know I do.
2)
One thing I found lacking in all the testimonies was a fellow Children’s Ministry leader such as myself. Nowhere in these pages did I find an individual who expressed a passion for the next generation. While there was a lot of talk about “the poor” and even some service projects for the children of the “poor” in their communities, it really seems like the authors skipped over this one very important part of the church’s function: its posterity.
It makes sense, coming from the perspective of two Academians (another term for those who follow the religion of “Educatianity”) that there should be little to no call for an investment of pastors in the next generation of their church. Academians rarely see this. Children are often something that comes late to them, often after they’ve achieved their doctorates and their biological clocks are winding down. Children get left home with the babysitter while the Academians go out with their friends. Children get dropped off at the “Village” to be raised so that Academians can pursue higher purposes such as teaching pastors how to organize and run their churches. If the Academians are not seeing the importance of children’s ministries within the organized nature of the church, then pastors are not picking up on it, either. No wonder the supply of ordained ministers, though still ample in numbers, is sadly lacking in a sense of family-based (aka community based) ministry.
3)
The other thing that must be addressed is that a lot of these people who still show up for church might just have the wrong idea about Christianity. If they are showing up and paying the tithe each week for the sole purpose of gaining favor with God–for the sake of self-preservation after death or for blessings here on earth–then who is the true Christian? If the publishing companies follow the money, if the doctrines follow the money, and if the seminary training follows the money, then what has the church become but something other than what Christianity once was? Is there not a passage in the book of Revelation where Christ calls his people to come out of an economic powerhouse that has become corrupt and unclean? Doesn’t what church has become kind of fit the description?
And if that is the case, then isn’t it better to be amongst the “done”?
First off, let me just say that it is obvious that this book was written to the pastors, not to those who are “done”. It makes sense, from the position of selling books, to cater to the larger audience–in this case the thousands of pastors who might want to keep a hold of their “flock” instead of those few within the flock who are considering being “done”. As a “Done”, however, I find this incredibly disappointing. I’d have hoped that the last chapter, deceptively called “Church for the Dechurched” would provide some helpful ideas or resources for people who have had to flee their own churches and who cannot set foot in any new churches without instantly spotting the same warning signs.
What really came as a slap in the face, though, was the complete failure to deliver resources for those of us reading the book who just might be “done”. For example, the web site provided on the back of the book cover (thedones.com) is not even in service–only one year after the book was released! There is another website mentioned inside (thelastingsupper.com) that requires paid membership ($15/month), but the authors didn’t bother to mention that. Very little else is mentioned as far as resources for those of us who have had to leave our church and now just hang out on the fringe.
That’s not what alarms me, though. What alarms me is how these authors think...or perhaps, how they want the reader to think. Here are a few examples.
1)
Early on and often throughout, the authors make it clear that their study is based on a broad spectrum of interviewees from a diverse group of churches, denominations, social classes, and communities. They then point out four common factors in all of these scenarios that tended to cause these people to be “done.”
However, there were two factors quite obviously left out. Factors that almost all churches have in common. The first factor is the credentialed nature of the pastor. Pastors place a great deal of value on their education–or at least, the assertion that they are “higher” than the layman in terms of spiritual leadership. At the same time, the two Academics who wrote this book side with these pastors quite often on the assumption that “Education” (with a capital E because it is a religion of its own) trumps all personal spiritual experiences of those within the church. So a guy who comes to the church after spending years of missions work somewhere else isn’t worth anything to the pastor because he doesn’t have that magical “Masters in Divinity” hanging on the wall behind his desk. It is obvious that these authors cannot see beyond that magical paper as they consistently side with the pastor on this issue.
The second factor is an even greater conflict of interest between these authors and the “Dones”. No matter how diverse these churches, all churches within a community patronize the same local bookstores and the same online booksellers. And these bookstores sell the same books chosen by the same corporate book distributors. And these distributors choose which books get published and sold based not on truth or sound teachings, but on sale potential. And it is very obvious to me that sale potential came into play very early on in this project. In fact, this project obviously would not have made it to print had it not catered to the demands of sale potential.
Sale potential, on its own, is not the problem. It is when the truth doesn’t sell that creates the problem. When truth doesn’t sell, it also doesn’t get preached. Not from the pulpit, not from the small group, and especially not in the community. For decades, Christian teachings have been infiltrated with best-selling, ear-tickling, sugar-coated doctrines that have slowly eroded away the spiritual truths of Christianity. Mainstream “Church” Christianity has become a shadow of what it was meant to be. Many of these “Dones” seem to get that. I know I do.
2)
One thing I found lacking in all the testimonies was a fellow Children’s Ministry leader such as myself. Nowhere in these pages did I find an individual who expressed a passion for the next generation. While there was a lot of talk about “the poor” and even some service projects for the children of the “poor” in their communities, it really seems like the authors skipped over this one very important part of the church’s function: its posterity.
It makes sense, coming from the perspective of two Academians (another term for those who follow the religion of “Educatianity”) that there should be little to no call for an investment of pastors in the next generation of their church. Academians rarely see this. Children are often something that comes late to them, often after they’ve achieved their doctorates and their biological clocks are winding down. Children get left home with the babysitter while the Academians go out with their friends. Children get dropped off at the “Village” to be raised so that Academians can pursue higher purposes such as teaching pastors how to organize and run their churches. If the Academians are not seeing the importance of children’s ministries within the organized nature of the church, then pastors are not picking up on it, either. No wonder the supply of ordained ministers, though still ample in numbers, is sadly lacking in a sense of family-based (aka community based) ministry.
3)
The other thing that must be addressed is that a lot of these people who still show up for church might just have the wrong idea about Christianity. If they are showing up and paying the tithe each week for the sole purpose of gaining favor with God–for the sake of self-preservation after death or for blessings here on earth–then who is the true Christian? If the publishing companies follow the money, if the doctrines follow the money, and if the seminary training follows the money, then what has the church become but something other than what Christianity once was? Is there not a passage in the book of Revelation where Christ calls his people to come out of an economic powerhouse that has become corrupt and unclean? Doesn’t what church has become kind of fit the description?
And if that is the case, then isn’t it better to be amongst the “done”?
July 17, 2015
This is an interesting and worthwhile read for any church leader (or for any Christian). It's an examination of a group that the author calls the 'Dones' (as opposed to the 'Nones', those that have no affiliation to any faith), people who continue to identify themselves as Christian, but have given up on the church (or at least the 'institutional' church). As a pastor, I was torn as I read this because I saw many things I could relate to (even personally), see as being true, and that could be addressed by Christian churches, but I also encountered some things that were concerning.
What was helpful was understanding the frustration with the institution of the church. I recently heard someone say that an institution can get to a point where it becomes focused on just maintaining the institution, and loses sight of its original purpose. You could see that in the book in a story from a 'Done' about their church raising funds for the church parking lot while not having any impact on the community. There also seems to be a feeling or organization structure stifling creative efforts to minister to people. I think there are some valid concerns raised here by people who sincerely want to show the love of Christ, but feel trapped in an organization that doesn't allow them to live this out. I've seen this myself and I'm sure I've contributed to this problem, too.
My concern lies with comments made about theology and truth. I would agree with the assertion that many 'Dones' make that community in the church is lacking, but the idea that "Community is more important than theology" is concerning. I would not say that theology is more important than community, which is a mistake churches are making, but theology is important in the 'hows' and 'whys' of community. Theology shapes community. Now, if the problem is a community that allows no discussion, questions, or doubt, there is a problem. But there is also a problem if the community is just made up of people who just have a great relationship and believe whatever they want to believe, at least on certain core subjects that define the nature of God, Jesus, and the gospel. A proper functioning of community would be working together to find true theology as given to us through God's Word.
I do think the 'Dones' are sincere in their desire to follow Jesus well and to find community that helps them do this, so the perspectives shared here should be taken seriously.
One last thing I'd like to say as a pastor. If you find yourself in this place, do what Julie did in Chapter 6, sit down with your pastor and talk about your ideas or concerns. You may not get an answer you like, but you might be surprised! Also, pursue relationship with your pastors. Initiate in that.
What was helpful was understanding the frustration with the institution of the church. I recently heard someone say that an institution can get to a point where it becomes focused on just maintaining the institution, and loses sight of its original purpose. You could see that in the book in a story from a 'Done' about their church raising funds for the church parking lot while not having any impact on the community. There also seems to be a feeling or organization structure stifling creative efforts to minister to people. I think there are some valid concerns raised here by people who sincerely want to show the love of Christ, but feel trapped in an organization that doesn't allow them to live this out. I've seen this myself and I'm sure I've contributed to this problem, too.
My concern lies with comments made about theology and truth. I would agree with the assertion that many 'Dones' make that community in the church is lacking, but the idea that "Community is more important than theology" is concerning. I would not say that theology is more important than community, which is a mistake churches are making, but theology is important in the 'hows' and 'whys' of community. Theology shapes community. Now, if the problem is a community that allows no discussion, questions, or doubt, there is a problem. But there is also a problem if the community is just made up of people who just have a great relationship and believe whatever they want to believe, at least on certain core subjects that define the nature of God, Jesus, and the gospel. A proper functioning of community would be working together to find true theology as given to us through God's Word.
I do think the 'Dones' are sincere in their desire to follow Jesus well and to find community that helps them do this, so the perspectives shared here should be taken seriously.
One last thing I'd like to say as a pastor. If you find yourself in this place, do what Julie did in Chapter 6, sit down with your pastor and talk about your ideas or concerns. You may not get an answer you like, but you might be surprised! Also, pursue relationship with your pastors. Initiate in that.
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August 5, 2015Книгата представлява вероятно най-голямото до момента социологическо проучване на хора напуснали църква, но запазили своята вяра в Бога - т. нар. dones (with the church, but not with God). Авторите се опитват да слушат техните истории, да събират достоверна социологическа информация и да изведат някои важни обобщения. Тяхната цел е да пишат не толкова като християни колкото като учени в своята област стриктно придържащи се към данните.
Въпреки доста ентисиазираната реклама на книгата от хора като Скот МакНайт (в личният му блог) моите чувства към прочетеното са донякъде смесени. Основната причина за това е, че проучването е свързано изцяло с американските "dones." Доколко авторите са успели да представят достоверна информация за феномена в тази страна аз не мога да кажа, но от личните си впечатления ми се струва, че тази група в в България съществува, но съвсем не е с идентични характеристики. Това не означава, че не съществуват аналогии - напротив, просто аз виждам черти, които напълно липсват в описанието на Пакард (и които предпочитам за момента да запазя за себе си).
Поради тази причина най-полезната част от книгата лежи на друго място. В последните глави авторите дават някои идеи за това как църквите могат да адаптират своите дейности, така че да задържат хората, които са готови да напуснат. Лично аз виждам в това много здрав разум. По същият начин моето собствено усещане напълно резонира с някои от нещата споделени от интервюираните - понякога в църквите съществува бюрокрация, която в даден момент може да започне да живее почти изцяло за себе си, прекаленият стремеж към контрол съсредоточен в един (или няколко) човека, склонност към затваряне в себе си и изолиране от нуждите на обществото - понякога дори на квартала, в който се намира църковната сграда, поставяне на вярната изповед и поведение много над взаимоотношенията. Всичко това са реални проблеми, които се срещат и в редица български църкви.
Като цяло - това е книга, от която може да накара човек да се замисли за някои значими неща, но която трябва да бъде четена предпазливо и като не се забравя, че живеем в България, а не в Америка. Действителността и хората на двете места може да са (поне донякъде) различни.
Въпреки доста ентисиазираната реклама на книгата от хора като Скот МакНайт (в личният му блог) моите чувства към прочетеното са донякъде смесени. Основната причина за това е, че проучването е свързано изцяло с американските "dones." Доколко авторите са успели да представят достоверна информация за феномена в тази страна аз не мога да кажа, но от личните си впечатления ми се струва, че тази група в в България съществува, но съвсем не е с идентични характеристики. Това не означава, че не съществуват аналогии - напротив, просто аз виждам черти, които напълно липсват в описанието на Пакард (и които предпочитам за момента да запазя за себе си).
Поради тази причина най-полезната част от книгата лежи на друго място. В последните глави авторите дават някои идеи за това как църквите могат да адаптират своите дейности, така че да задържат хората, които са готови да напуснат. Лично аз виждам в това много здрав разум. По същият начин моето собствено усещане напълно резонира с някои от нещата споделени от интервюираните - понякога в църквите съществува бюрокрация, която в даден момент може да започне да живее почти изцяло за себе си, прекаленият стремеж към контрол съсредоточен в един (или няколко) човека, склонност към затваряне в себе си и изолиране от нуждите на обществото - понякога дори на квартала, в който се намира църковната сграда, поставяне на вярната изповед и поведение много над взаимоотношенията. Всичко това са реални проблеми, които се срещат и в редица български църкви.
Като цяло - това е книга, от която може да накара човек да се замисли за някои значими неща, но която трябва да бъде четена предпазливо и като не се забравя, че живеем в България, а не в Америка. Действителността и хората на двете места може да са (поне донякъде) различни.
May 19, 2021
I think it’s really important for people to approach this book fully understanding that it is descriptive in nature. It isn’t trying to tell you that the perspective of the Dones is 100% correct; it isn’t trying to offer you a solution. It is presenting you with qualitative data on a group of people and their reasons for leaving the church. At times, I found myself frustrated and arguing with that data...and at other times, I saw myself in that data. While people like me, who are teetering on the edge of being Dones, might find this book appealing, it’s really pastors and church leaders that need to read it to better understand phenomena that are absolutely impacting the church today and to gain insight into organizational issues and structures that lead to these phenomena.
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August 3, 2015Really helpful book synthesizing a study of people who are "done" with church. Helpful insights and good directions to go. A little hard to read, as it all hit a little too close to home. :)
May 6, 2017
I wish the authors used a larger sample size. I think the issue is more complex than presenter here.
June 24, 2019
Published in 2015.
Packard and Hope set out to investigate why formerly active members of Christian churches (all denominations) leave and don't come back to any church at all. These are not members that leave and go to a new church - these are members that completely walk away from any church. He calls them "dechurched" or "dones", as in they are completely done with church.
Every year, churches across the country lose active members. In this case, Packard and Hope are not talking about merely regularly attending members - they are talking about members who lead committees, music directors and even former clergy. These are part of the leadership of the church - the people that are committed enough to get things done.
Packard and Hope assumed that these folks were simply "burnout" cases - people that just were tired and dropped out alltogether. "Instead, the dechurched are walking away from church work, but not the work of the church. They're walking away because they're convinced that the structures and bureaucracy of the church are inhibiting their ability to serve God. They see church as oriented only to its own survival. Instead on empowering, they find the church to be stifling. Over time, they've become convinced that their efforts and energies could be better spent serving God outside of the church." (p 55)
Once again, this is not a certain style or denomination of church. He talks about churches with big bureaucracies, churches essentially led by a CEO-type pastor who makes all of the decisions and everything in between. In the end, churches tend to turn inwards (focused on things like presenting a great worship service and maintaining a building) while these "dechurched" people wanted to keep a much more outward focus. They propose any number of outreach activities that emphasize a sense of personal community and the idea of making their church a more integrated part of its surrounding community (Think comments like: "That's a great idea, Bob. But, we need that money you would use to start a food pantry to re-pave the parking lot.")
Many of the dechurched (he also calls them "church refugees" - they are like real-life refugees who reluctantly flee their homelands because they feel forced out) feel like they have to leave the church to do the things they need to do. They see...
Read more at: https://dwdsreviews.blogspot.com/2019...
Packard and Hope set out to investigate why formerly active members of Christian churches (all denominations) leave and don't come back to any church at all. These are not members that leave and go to a new church - these are members that completely walk away from any church. He calls them "dechurched" or "dones", as in they are completely done with church.
Every year, churches across the country lose active members. In this case, Packard and Hope are not talking about merely regularly attending members - they are talking about members who lead committees, music directors and even former clergy. These are part of the leadership of the church - the people that are committed enough to get things done.
Packard and Hope assumed that these folks were simply "burnout" cases - people that just were tired and dropped out alltogether. "Instead, the dechurched are walking away from church work, but not the work of the church. They're walking away because they're convinced that the structures and bureaucracy of the church are inhibiting their ability to serve God. They see church as oriented only to its own survival. Instead on empowering, they find the church to be stifling. Over time, they've become convinced that their efforts and energies could be better spent serving God outside of the church." (p 55)
Once again, this is not a certain style or denomination of church. He talks about churches with big bureaucracies, churches essentially led by a CEO-type pastor who makes all of the decisions and everything in between. In the end, churches tend to turn inwards (focused on things like presenting a great worship service and maintaining a building) while these "dechurched" people wanted to keep a much more outward focus. They propose any number of outreach activities that emphasize a sense of personal community and the idea of making their church a more integrated part of its surrounding community (Think comments like: "That's a great idea, Bob. But, we need that money you would use to start a food pantry to re-pave the parking lot.")
Many of the dechurched (he also calls them "church refugees" - they are like real-life refugees who reluctantly flee their homelands because they feel forced out) feel like they have to leave the church to do the things they need to do. They see...
Read more at: https://dwdsreviews.blogspot.com/2019...
May 2, 2021
This books is an analysis of qualitative research which accurately describes my view and perception of institutional Christianity. Over the last couple of year, I’ve been struggling to put my finger on and articulate what feels different about church. The stories and insights in this book all share common threads with my own experience. Basically, the church has adopted businesses practices that make itself a self-sustaining entity which focuses on its own ministries and programs. The Dones want support in reaching the community through meaningful relationships, not simply lure people in the door through various events or shadow missions. The Dones want the freedom to discuss the difficult questions openly. The Dones want to see the church wrestle with difficult topics and not shy away from them. The Dones are looking to do more, not less, but they’ve been tapped to do unmeaningful work in the church due to its constant search for volunteers to perpetuate its own services and ministries. The Dones want TRUE community, not a social group uninterested in being challenged or transparent.
Another important note: the book was written in 2015....before Trumpism, before the insurrection, before Christian Nationalism made its voice louder, and before Qanon most likely made dissatisfaction with institutional religion even higher.
Another important note: the book was written in 2015....before Trumpism, before the insurrection, before Christian Nationalism made its voice louder, and before Qanon most likely made dissatisfaction with institutional religion even higher.
September 9, 2015
Kind of on the fence with this one. I was really interested in this subject, because I am one of the "dones." Done with the church, certainly not done with Jesus or Christianity. The reason that I am on the fence, is for the very reason Doug mentioned in his review of the book. Theology or Community, which is more important? If you forget theology altogether, at the end of the day it may not be Christianity at all. A person needs to know what they believe and be able to give an answer for why they believe it, if they can expect to lead anyone to Christianity. This simply can not be done without doctrine and theology. If you skip doctrine because it doesn't give you the warm and fuzzies, then at the end of the day you may be worshipping a God that doesn't exist. Or only exists in your own mind. The truth is, Christianity is full of difficult doctrine. To ignore it, to only focus on the community? Hmmm, I am not sure what that is. It just seemed that there were many examples of people leaving the church, because they just didn't feel good or there were things they did not like doing. Unfortunately, establishments are full of money concerns and bureaucracy. A lot of the bureaucracy comes from the church's 501C3 status. The unfortunate reality is somebody has to deal with it. I give kudos to the people in church's and non-profit organizations who do the not so glamorous stuff. Those creating the budgets, dealing with government stipulations, insurance; all of that stuff people don't want to do, because it doesn't make them feel good.
These are just my thoughts and I in no way question the integrity or sincerity of those interviewed. It is simply my opinion.
These are just my thoughts and I in no way question the integrity or sincerity of those interviewed. It is simply my opinion.
July 24, 2016
The best chapter helped me to refocus on church as a community of people, as relationship, trying to be together in the same way that Jesus claimed he and God were together. The weakest chapters tried to both argue that churches put too much emphasis on doctrine, and especially morality, while then trying to usher strong stands on both matters back in through the back door. Why not just say that doctrine is a playground and morality is about how I love neighbours in all circumstances, however you can best do that (without providing guidance to your neighbours in the form of rules and regulations). It is a qualitative study (like "Habits of the Heart" was) with all of the strengths and weaknesses that go with that approach. It comes from a very conservative place, but contains insight for liberal churches too--especially on matters related to resource allocation, bureaucracy, and especially relationships. If you are involved in church, worth reading.
June 5, 2015
Based on interviews with dechurched people, the authors view the responses through the lens of a profound misunderstanding of the nature and purpose of the local church. Not much of value here.
July 20, 2015
An important book for the Church in this time
Well written and easy to follow, but I suppose we give it 5 stars because it resonates so deeply with our own hearts.
Well written and easy to follow, but I suppose we give it 5 stars because it resonates so deeply with our own hearts.
August 30, 2015
Must read for those involved in church ministry!
March 20, 2025
First of all, this book was published ten years ago, and I knew that when I started it, but since the pandemic, things have gotten even worse, so I was still curious.
Having said that, Church Refugees was very interesting for the first and last thirds. As for the middle, my mind wandered a lot. IMO, this book could have been edited better. It looks like a short book and a fast read, but the font is small. I struggled with the middle of the book because the findings were repetitious, the small font made my eyes tired, and it seemed like the authors were saying, “This is what the dechurched want. The church needs to provide it,” when some things were unrealistic. I have a reading goal this year, though, and powered through to be able to add it to my finished books. When I got to the last third of the book, I was so glad I did! I suddenly couldn’t put it down! The authors admitted that some of the things the dechurched want are unrealistic, but they suggested realistic compromises that would only threaten the most arrogant of lead pastors who aren’t seeking out what should be the primary goal of the church anyway.
Even though there’s a big change in the church since the publishing of this book, it inspired me. The “dechurched” are interested in doing more with their faith and reaching those who need community within the church and its members. They’re tired of checking off the proverbial box of their spiritual attendance each week. They’re tired of hearing about church parking lots that need to be built. They’re tired of spending time on theology when what’s most important in theology, winning lost souls to Christ, is being sacrificed. Too many people expect the church to serve them, and the fact that people are leaving the church and craving more activity for winning the lost, not to fill seats in the church but to put wheels to their newfound faith, excites me! I plan to search out the authors and see if they have updated information about the dechurched and how we can serve alongside them and impact the world with the Truth of Christ and His transforming love, mercy and forgiveness.
Having said that, Church Refugees was very interesting for the first and last thirds. As for the middle, my mind wandered a lot. IMO, this book could have been edited better. It looks like a short book and a fast read, but the font is small. I struggled with the middle of the book because the findings were repetitious, the small font made my eyes tired, and it seemed like the authors were saying, “This is what the dechurched want. The church needs to provide it,” when some things were unrealistic. I have a reading goal this year, though, and powered through to be able to add it to my finished books. When I got to the last third of the book, I was so glad I did! I suddenly couldn’t put it down! The authors admitted that some of the things the dechurched want are unrealistic, but they suggested realistic compromises that would only threaten the most arrogant of lead pastors who aren’t seeking out what should be the primary goal of the church anyway.
Even though there’s a big change in the church since the publishing of this book, it inspired me. The “dechurched” are interested in doing more with their faith and reaching those who need community within the church and its members. They’re tired of checking off the proverbial box of their spiritual attendance each week. They’re tired of hearing about church parking lots that need to be built. They’re tired of spending time on theology when what’s most important in theology, winning lost souls to Christ, is being sacrificed. Too many people expect the church to serve them, and the fact that people are leaving the church and craving more activity for winning the lost, not to fill seats in the church but to put wheels to their newfound faith, excites me! I plan to search out the authors and see if they have updated information about the dechurched and how we can serve alongside them and impact the world with the Truth of Christ and His transforming love, mercy and forgiveness.
March 2, 2020
I heard Packard and his pastor interviewed on a podcast recently and found their comments intriguing. I thought “I need to read this book.” As I continued to listen to the interview I realized “I already have read this book.” I dug it out and reread it. I think Packard and Hope have some very important things to say from their research. Through standard qualitative methodology, they located/selected 100 people who represented a cross section of individuals from within the Christian faith who at one time were highly active in their church, are no longer engage with a church, but remain active in their faith. They called these folks “the DONES.” In qualitative research you are looking for patterns in the comments/text, and the patterns they present are useful ones for considering how to meet the needs of parishioners/congregants. The DONES got tired of the bureaucracy of their church, found their church more interested in a new parking lot than in serving people (or insert whatever other structural matter you may wish), got burned out from teaching the 3 year olds class for the umpteenth year, etc. What they miss most from no longer being part of their church is community. There are many other points in this book, but with a broad stroke, the previous two sentences summarizes it reasonable well. I never got the sense that this was great research (and I know a little bit about research). I felt these themes were ones the researchers sought to confirm, rather than having them emerge. Regardless, I found the themes had narrative fidelity, representing real experiences of real people. As such, a church leader would be foolish to ignore it. Do you want to know why highly involved people leave your church? Well, read this book
December 29, 2022
This is not a "how-to" kind of book. It is a descriptive analysis of why people are tired of church and the reasons for their departure. The data presented is based on interviews with a group of people who felt dissatisfied with what church was offering and left, or those who are teetering on the edge of being Dones.
If you're already a Done, then the information may only be confirming what you've already experienced. If you're on the edge, the information may strengthen your resolve to leave - having put into words what you've been experiencing and what to expect on the other side.
My opinion is that the book is more suited for church leaders especially those who are already within an organizational church structure. Going with the sentiments of the interviewees, most are or were frustrated with the overly dogmatic and inflexible inward-looking structures that stifled creativity, questioning and individual expressions.
While i appreciate the practices that the dechurched engage in after they leave (which are more or less a reaction to), as the writer has said, i do believe that the church of the future will likely bear very little resemblance to what we see today and what has characterized church for many years.
In the future, "church" activity (and am using the word 'church' loosely) will most likely happen outside the bounds of the institutional church as more and more people find relevance and value outside its enclave.
If you're already a Done, then the information may only be confirming what you've already experienced. If you're on the edge, the information may strengthen your resolve to leave - having put into words what you've been experiencing and what to expect on the other side.
My opinion is that the book is more suited for church leaders especially those who are already within an organizational church structure. Going with the sentiments of the interviewees, most are or were frustrated with the overly dogmatic and inflexible inward-looking structures that stifled creativity, questioning and individual expressions.
While i appreciate the practices that the dechurched engage in after they leave (which are more or less a reaction to), as the writer has said, i do believe that the church of the future will likely bear very little resemblance to what we see today and what has characterized church for many years.
In the future, "church" activity (and am using the word 'church' loosely) will most likely happen outside the bounds of the institutional church as more and more people find relevance and value outside its enclave.
March 16, 2021
Josh Packard and Ashleigh Hope used research to discover why committed Christians who have been active church members and church leaders are leaving the church, not leaving one church to go to another, but leaving the church completely. They found that those leaving the church are not leaving Jesus, but that many are finding new freedom in their spiritual life. The researchers found that these "dones" have left the church for a few main reasons.
They left because they were tired of the judgment they felt toward those who did not follow the same spiritual beliefs the church held.
They left because they regularly came up against bureaucratic and organizational walls the limited service and stifled spiritual creativity.
They left because they want conversation and dialogue around their questions, not prepackaged answers.
They left because the church failed to engage in issues that are important to them such as poverty, racial equality, and economic disparity.
The "dones" are looking for community and meaningful service but are looking outside of the church. Packard's findings, however, show their is great hope for these Christians to return to the church if changes are made.
They left because they were tired of the judgment they felt toward those who did not follow the same spiritual beliefs the church held.
They left because they regularly came up against bureaucratic and organizational walls the limited service and stifled spiritual creativity.
They left because they want conversation and dialogue around their questions, not prepackaged answers.
They left because the church failed to engage in issues that are important to them such as poverty, racial equality, and economic disparity.
The "dones" are looking for community and meaningful service but are looking outside of the church. Packard's findings, however, show their is great hope for these Christians to return to the church if changes are made.
October 23, 2017
I read this for a personal research project, and it absolutely changed the way I look at ministry and Church. Josh Packard takes a sociological approach to uncovering why people are leaving the Church, and makes a rather shocking discovery: Behind the "Nones," the largest exodus of people leaving the institutionalized Church as the ones who were previously the most committed to the institution.
Packard calls "The Dones," and they are more often than not the most intelligent, resourceful, driven, and active members of the congregation. But, at a certain point, they begin to feel as if the institution of the Church is inhibiting their spiritual growth and ability to manifest God's Kingdom on Earth.
Instead of abandoning religion, the Dones are rediscovering a new vibrant form of faith independent of bureaucracy, flashy entertainment, and shallow sermons. They're the ones reaching out to their community, hosting people in their homes, and exploring the boundaries of their faith.
I highly recommend Church Refugees to anyone interested or involved in church ministry. It should be required reading in seminary and a siren song to the current state of church culture.
Packard calls "The Dones," and they are more often than not the most intelligent, resourceful, driven, and active members of the congregation. But, at a certain point, they begin to feel as if the institution of the Church is inhibiting their spiritual growth and ability to manifest God's Kingdom on Earth.
Instead of abandoning religion, the Dones are rediscovering a new vibrant form of faith independent of bureaucracy, flashy entertainment, and shallow sermons. They're the ones reaching out to their community, hosting people in their homes, and exploring the boundaries of their faith.
I highly recommend Church Refugees to anyone interested or involved in church ministry. It should be required reading in seminary and a siren song to the current state of church culture.
May 16, 2021
This book describes Christians who've left the church. (I match the description closely except that I'm not as nice as some of those interviewed.) It's interesting to take the data in this book and flip it around to create the implied description of those who stay in the church:
The people who are staying in the pews are okay with bureaucracy and like a church that focuses on a well-presented Sunday service. They are comfortable judging others. Their professed interest in morality may actually disguise a desire to control others. They want to be told what to think and are uncomfortable with anyone who questions the group. Any interaction they have with those outside the church has recruitment as the ultimate goal; the purpose of the church and everyone in it is to feed the church itself.
I want to stress that the book does not say any of this directly. It's just what I got when I looked at what was said from a different angle.
The people who are staying in the pews are okay with bureaucracy and like a church that focuses on a well-presented Sunday service. They are comfortable judging others. Their professed interest in morality may actually disguise a desire to control others. They want to be told what to think and are uncomfortable with anyone who questions the group. Any interaction they have with those outside the church has recruitment as the ultimate goal; the purpose of the church and everyone in it is to feed the church itself.
I want to stress that the book does not say any of this directly. It's just what I got when I looked at what was said from a different angle.
June 2, 2021
Life After Church
Even though the interviewees are substantially Protestants, I wonder if the authors would do another projects on the so-called lapsed Catholics who were believed to be the largest sub-groups of Catholics who believe to have the permanent seals in their souls once baptized. Once a Catholic, always a Catholic - headcount wise! Many readers would be very interested to find out if theology and Church teachings, which inevitably affect liturgy and community involvement, is not the central issues for people leaving the Catholic Church - unlike the Church Refugees. Another similarity between the dropped-out Christians in both camps could be the centralized, or bureaucratic structure of the institutions, which would definitely smother the Holy Spirit that keep Christian faith alive.
Even though the interviewees are substantially Protestants, I wonder if the authors would do another projects on the so-called lapsed Catholics who were believed to be the largest sub-groups of Catholics who believe to have the permanent seals in their souls once baptized. Once a Catholic, always a Catholic - headcount wise! Many readers would be very interested to find out if theology and Church teachings, which inevitably affect liturgy and community involvement, is not the central issues for people leaving the Catholic Church - unlike the Church Refugees. Another similarity between the dropped-out Christians in both camps could be the centralized, or bureaucratic structure of the institutions, which would definitely smother the Holy Spirit that keep Christian faith alive.
July 16, 2024
Good Information, But Based On Bad Premise.
This book is packed full of useful information but the authors basic premise that the institution is necessary is faulty. They claim “numerous reasons” why the organizations should exist. I can give numerous reasons why they shouldn’t, starting with the first century church that had no institutions, yet “set the world on fire”. Do the authors claim that we are doing a better job today with all our institutions and bureaucracy than they did? There are MANY that are called out of the institutional church, doing great things for God - which the authors do admit. Again, good information given which is why I didn’t give it fewer stars, but the goal of getting the “dechurched” as they call them, back into the institution is misdirected, in my opinion.
This book is packed full of useful information but the authors basic premise that the institution is necessary is faulty. They claim “numerous reasons” why the organizations should exist. I can give numerous reasons why they shouldn’t, starting with the first century church that had no institutions, yet “set the world on fire”. Do the authors claim that we are doing a better job today with all our institutions and bureaucracy than they did? There are MANY that are called out of the institutional church, doing great things for God - which the authors do admit. Again, good information given which is why I didn’t give it fewer stars, but the goal of getting the “dechurched” as they call them, back into the institution is misdirected, in my opinion.
June 27, 2015
This book was an excellent documentation of a growing segment of Christians who are leaving church - the "dones" or the "dechurched" and their reasons for doing so.
From the back cover:
-Church refugees aren’t who you’d expect. Among those scrambling for the exits are the church’s staunchest supporters and leaders.
- Leaving the church doesn’t mean abandoning the faith. Some who are done with church report they’ve never felt spiritually stronger.
-The door still remains open - a crack. Those who’ve left remain hungry for community and the chance to serve - and they’re finding both.
Sifting through hundreds of hours of in-depth interviews, Packard and Hope provide illuminating insights into what has become a major shift in the American landscape.
If you’re in the church, discover the major reasons your church may be in danger of losing its strongest members - and what you can do to keep them.
If you’re among those done with church, look for your story to be echoed here. You’re not alone - and at last you’re understood.
Here are a few quotes:
“Jason is a former pastor who has held a variety of roles in churches, including congregant, teaching pastor, music director, and youth director. While he hasn’t always been involved in leadership positions, he and his family have frequently served in leadership capacities. He and his wife no longer go to church, though. It wasn’t burnout or church politics that drove them away (though certainly those didn’t help). Instead it was a feeling that church structure and organization were getting in the way of communing with people.
“My whole paradigm has changed about why we get together, why we have groups of people gather with, fellowship with - however you want to say it. I no longer buy into this idea of hierarchical structure of leadership and people being in submission to leaders. That’s a huge thing for me. When I get together with people now, everyone is on a level playing field; nobody is over anyone.
Pursuing that ideal changed everything for us. Things are so different now. There was a time in my life when I thought church leadership was what I was supposed to do. I am supposed to be involved in some kind of full-time Christian ministry. My actual giftings are art and music, so it was a big thing to take over the music in our church, and I ended up being an elder. When I got the position I was supposed to be in after years of service and sacrifice to the church, I felt completely empty and that it was all meaningless. That was when I started to ask a lot of hard questions and started to step away, but it was a process.”
Jason didn’t bristle at the notion of authority; he was bothered by the execution of authority in the church even as he himself wielded that power. He felt the structure kept him from engaging others in meaningful ways and finding God in the process. He left the church when he realized he was pursuing a position in an organization rather than people in relationships.”
“In this book, we take up the task of understanding the dechurched as church refugees. They’re people who’ve made an explicit and intentional decision to leave organized religion. They didn’t drift away casually. They didn’t move to a new city for a job and never got into the groove of church in a new community. They didn’t marry agnostic spouses and give up on convincing them. No, at some point, the dechurched decided, in a very intentional way, that they would be better off leaving the church altogether.”
“The church, they feel, is keeping them from God. According to them, the church, not God, is the problem, and they’ve stayed in the church long past the point that it ceased to be fulfilling or even sustaining.
Furthermore, they flee the church not because they hate the church. They have, in fact, worked tirelessly on behalf of the church. They flee for their own spiritual safety, to reconnect with a God they feel has been made distant to them by the structure of religion as practiced in organizations.”
“Since 2010, though, when we finally left the church, we’ve just done house church where we create and do things with others rather than for them. I’m done with the top-down, institutional church. I thought we could fix it from within, but we got beat up pretty bad. I know we didn’t always handle things the best way, but at the same time, we kept showing up and volunteering because we felt the church was God’s home.
I don’t think that’s the case anymore. The church is wherever God’s work is being done, and too often the way we were treated and the things I saw happen in the institutional church to other people just weren’t in alliance with what we thought God wanted.”
“Perhaps more than anything else, what people want out of a church is a community of people who are experiencing God together.”
“But much of the way they feel institutional church tries to construct community, by focusing on uniformity over unity, is counterproductive to what they feel is true and authentic community.”
“Our respondents often claimed that church should be a place where people are loved collectively rather than judged individually.”
“Community happens when people share life together, when they see each other repeatedly and share experiences. These commonalities lead to a feeling that people can be counted on and to a shared sense of reality and values.
Sociologists have long understood these to be the fundamental traits of community formation, but for some reason churches seem to often get this equation backwards. Instead of understanding that shared life leads to shared beliefs, churches frequently want to make sure that everyone signs on to a common belief system before they can begin to do life with each other.”
From the back cover:
-Church refugees aren’t who you’d expect. Among those scrambling for the exits are the church’s staunchest supporters and leaders.
- Leaving the church doesn’t mean abandoning the faith. Some who are done with church report they’ve never felt spiritually stronger.
-The door still remains open - a crack. Those who’ve left remain hungry for community and the chance to serve - and they’re finding both.
Sifting through hundreds of hours of in-depth interviews, Packard and Hope provide illuminating insights into what has become a major shift in the American landscape.
If you’re in the church, discover the major reasons your church may be in danger of losing its strongest members - and what you can do to keep them.
If you’re among those done with church, look for your story to be echoed here. You’re not alone - and at last you’re understood.
Here are a few quotes:
“Jason is a former pastor who has held a variety of roles in churches, including congregant, teaching pastor, music director, and youth director. While he hasn’t always been involved in leadership positions, he and his family have frequently served in leadership capacities. He and his wife no longer go to church, though. It wasn’t burnout or church politics that drove them away (though certainly those didn’t help). Instead it was a feeling that church structure and organization were getting in the way of communing with people.
“My whole paradigm has changed about why we get together, why we have groups of people gather with, fellowship with - however you want to say it. I no longer buy into this idea of hierarchical structure of leadership and people being in submission to leaders. That’s a huge thing for me. When I get together with people now, everyone is on a level playing field; nobody is over anyone.
Pursuing that ideal changed everything for us. Things are so different now. There was a time in my life when I thought church leadership was what I was supposed to do. I am supposed to be involved in some kind of full-time Christian ministry. My actual giftings are art and music, so it was a big thing to take over the music in our church, and I ended up being an elder. When I got the position I was supposed to be in after years of service and sacrifice to the church, I felt completely empty and that it was all meaningless. That was when I started to ask a lot of hard questions and started to step away, but it was a process.”
Jason didn’t bristle at the notion of authority; he was bothered by the execution of authority in the church even as he himself wielded that power. He felt the structure kept him from engaging others in meaningful ways and finding God in the process. He left the church when he realized he was pursuing a position in an organization rather than people in relationships.”
“In this book, we take up the task of understanding the dechurched as church refugees. They’re people who’ve made an explicit and intentional decision to leave organized religion. They didn’t drift away casually. They didn’t move to a new city for a job and never got into the groove of church in a new community. They didn’t marry agnostic spouses and give up on convincing them. No, at some point, the dechurched decided, in a very intentional way, that they would be better off leaving the church altogether.”
“The church, they feel, is keeping them from God. According to them, the church, not God, is the problem, and they’ve stayed in the church long past the point that it ceased to be fulfilling or even sustaining.
Furthermore, they flee the church not because they hate the church. They have, in fact, worked tirelessly on behalf of the church. They flee for their own spiritual safety, to reconnect with a God they feel has been made distant to them by the structure of religion as practiced in organizations.”
“Since 2010, though, when we finally left the church, we’ve just done house church where we create and do things with others rather than for them. I’m done with the top-down, institutional church. I thought we could fix it from within, but we got beat up pretty bad. I know we didn’t always handle things the best way, but at the same time, we kept showing up and volunteering because we felt the church was God’s home.
I don’t think that’s the case anymore. The church is wherever God’s work is being done, and too often the way we were treated and the things I saw happen in the institutional church to other people just weren’t in alliance with what we thought God wanted.”
“Perhaps more than anything else, what people want out of a church is a community of people who are experiencing God together.”
“But much of the way they feel institutional church tries to construct community, by focusing on uniformity over unity, is counterproductive to what they feel is true and authentic community.”
“Our respondents often claimed that church should be a place where people are loved collectively rather than judged individually.”
“Community happens when people share life together, when they see each other repeatedly and share experiences. These commonalities lead to a feeling that people can be counted on and to a shared sense of reality and values.
Sociologists have long understood these to be the fundamental traits of community formation, but for some reason churches seem to often get this equation backwards. Instead of understanding that shared life leads to shared beliefs, churches frequently want to make sure that everyone signs on to a common belief system before they can begin to do life with each other.”
January 2, 2018
This was a solid description of the research which Packard and Hope compiled. It was interesting to navigate between the narrow set of people which the research describes and the application of the research to the broader church as a whole. I thought that this text did a nice job of not being overly negative concerning a relatively difficult situation, which many are want to do. I thought there was a helpful discussion, challenging nuance, and thorough investigation throughout. What kept me from rating at 5 stars was the thinness of the research methodology. I understand that this wasn't necessary a tell-all, but I found myself asking more questions than this text answered (which isn't necessarily a bad thing.)
September 2, 2017
I cannot recommend this book enough, whether you're in church leadership or skeptical of Christians.
As church staff, it's helpful for me to understand what others are experiencing and how to invitation and shape and create with them in order to heal the church from its festering structures -- structures that both wound others and the larger body of Christ (which is to say: the church is unwittingly masochistic).
As someone who has almost left (erm, a couple times) myself, it was helpful and healing to hear my story told and know that I'm not alone and to find language for my experiences and intuitions.
As church staff, it's helpful for me to understand what others are experiencing and how to invitation and shape and create with them in order to heal the church from its festering structures -- structures that both wound others and the larger body of Christ (which is to say: the church is unwittingly masochistic).
As someone who has almost left (erm, a couple times) myself, it was helpful and healing to hear my story told and know that I'm not alone and to find language for my experiences and intuitions.
February 25, 2021
People of all ages are done or almost done with the traditional church. As one person said, "The church has churched the church right out of me."
There are many reasons for this departure, which the authors lay out here, all of which are worth considering. But those leaving, or close to leaving, still have a desire for community, meaningful activity, and belief; they are simply finding it outside of the church because the church, in their experience, no longer provides it.
For any church leader - paid or volunteer, current, past or future - this book is worth your time, prayerful consideration, and open discussion with others.
There are many reasons for this departure, which the authors lay out here, all of which are worth considering. But those leaving, or close to leaving, still have a desire for community, meaningful activity, and belief; they are simply finding it outside of the church because the church, in their experience, no longer provides it.
For any church leader - paid or volunteer, current, past or future - this book is worth your time, prayerful consideration, and open discussion with others.
February 28, 2018
This book had some great recent research. It also got me thinking about how I can be contributing more deeply to the community outside the church building and outside the church promotion. I thought it was a great statement in regards to working in the community, "rather than doing things for the poor, we need to do things with the poor, because only the poor truly understand their own needs and capabilities." This is actually a quote from another book that Mr. Packard is using to make an illustration.
April 19, 2019
Some interesting observations from the research on the "Dones":
"They are done with church, but not with God."
"...people are much more likely to see the church as a kind of niche political institution that's ultimately not concerned with their day-to-day existence. They view the church as inwardly focused and consumed by the politics of its own survival."
"They wanted community and got judgment. They wanted to affect the life of the church and got bureaucracy. They wanted conversation and got doctrine. The wanted meaningful engagement with the world and got moral prescription."
"...our respondents saw their religious leaders making lifestyle declarations and judgments without owning up to their own shortcomings. They viewed this as intellectually and morally dishonest, inauthentic, and an overreach of power."
"...people are willing to engage in communities of accountability, but only with people who have earned that right by living with them, walking with them, and being in conversation with them on an ongoing basis."
"They are done with church, but not with God."
"...people are much more likely to see the church as a kind of niche political institution that's ultimately not concerned with their day-to-day existence. They view the church as inwardly focused and consumed by the politics of its own survival."
"They wanted community and got judgment. They wanted to affect the life of the church and got bureaucracy. They wanted conversation and got doctrine. The wanted meaningful engagement with the world and got moral prescription."
"...our respondents saw their religious leaders making lifestyle declarations and judgments without owning up to their own shortcomings. They viewed this as intellectually and morally dishonest, inauthentic, and an overreach of power."
"...people are willing to engage in communities of accountability, but only with people who have earned that right by living with them, walking with them, and being in conversation with them on an ongoing basis."
October 11, 2019
I enjoyed reading this book and found it quite easy to read. Since leaving the institutional church a couple years ago, I found the stories of people who have done the same quite interesting and encouraging. Just to know there are others who feel the same way helped me to realize I am not alone in the way I feel. If you have left the organized church, are thinking about it, know someone who has left or just not satisfied with the modern day church, this is a good source of information from others who are going through similar situations.
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