With You and Without You

by Ann M. Martin

Liza thought she was prepared to lose her father—but coping is harder than she ever imaginedWhen Liza’s dad finds out he has less than a year to live, he asks his family to help him make his remaining time as happy as possible. After the initial shock, twelve-year-old Liza, her three siblings, and their mother resolve to make her dad’s last year wonderful—especially on Christmas, his favorite holiday. Liza tries hard to prepare herself for living without him. But after he’s gone, she finds that she is still not ready—and maybe she never will be. The family, now faced with financial problems, has to move into a smaller home, which adds to their tension and anger. As another holiday season approaches, Liza feels celebrating without her dad is disloyal, and boycotts the holiday. Liza’s search for the courage to face her grief, anger, and guilt will resonate with readers of any age who have survived the loss of a loved one. This ebook features an illustrated personal history of Ann M. Martin, including rare images from the author’s collection.

Genres: Young Adult, Fiction, Middle Grade, Death, Childrens, Family

171 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 1986

About the author

Ann Matthews Martin was born on August 12, 1955. She grew up in Princeton, New Jersey, with her parents and her younger sister, Jane. After graduating from Smith College, Ann became a teacher and then an editor of children's books. She's now a full-time writer.

Ann gets the ideas for her books from many different places. Some are based on personal experiences, while others are based on childhood memories and feelings. Many are written about contemporary problems or events. All of Ann's characters, even the members of the Baby-sitters Club, are made up. But many of her characters are based on real people. Sometimes Ann names her characters after people she knows, and other times she simply chooses names that she likes.

Ann has always enjoyed writing. Even before she was old enough to write, she would dictate stories to her mother to write down for her. Some of her favorite authors at that time were Lewis Carroll, P. L. Travers, Hugh Lofting, Astrid Lindgren, and Roald Dahl. They inspired her to become a writer herself.

Since ending the BSC series in 2000, Ann’s writing has concentrated on single novels, many of which are set in the 1960s.

After living in New York City for many years, Ann moved to the Hudson Valley in upstate New York where she now lives with her dog, Sadie, and her cats, Gussie, Willy and Woody. Her hobbies are reading, sewing, and needlework. Her favorite thing to do is to make clothes for children.

http://us.macmillan.com/author/annmma...

Reviews

[Infosifter · Rating 4 out of 5]

This author is mostly known for writing the Babysitters Club books which are fun, but her other books often touch on serious subjects and I like them even more.

[Carin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ah, another book that I remember always used to make me cry! Even though Liza isn't the oldest, as the oldest daughter she's still in some ways the most responsible, so I really identified with her. The way this book was structured was very nice. We get a good part of the book while Liza's father is still alive, his heart failing. We see the family interact with him and how he's such a great father. Then we get the immediate aftermath of his death, and the later consequences such as moving out of the family home, her mother going back to school, and the kids having to take on even more responsibility themselves. I thought the exploration of Liza's guilt was beautifully handled, and also I know that as a child it showed me that there were deeper emotions one would feel in this situation than just sadness. And of course, the primary reason kids read these kinds of sad books is in preparation for dealing with sad situations themselves (though hopefully not this one exactly.) The book is honest, sympathetic, and feels very real. I'm quite shocked to see it's out of print.

[Emily Dauer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is soooo good! This was my second time reading it and I still cried(a lot). This book is a really fast read, and it has such a well written story that makes you feel all of Liza’s feelings. I highly recommend:)

[Ashley · Rating 3 out of 5]

I finished my other book halfway through my commute and needed something to read the rest of the way, so I chose this because all of Ann M's books are short and sweet. Though it probably wasn't the pick for the train - the first half of the book had me holding back tears like a champion. I liked how this book shows that there's no proper way to grieve, that everybody handles death differently, and that's okay. I loved how close-knit Liza's family was, both before and after their father's death.

(Also, it forever amuses me to see familiar names and tropes in Ann M's books, things that are used both in the Baby-sitters Club series and in her stand-alone novels. This book had an appearance by Beth Perkins, and Liza was just like Mary Anne [and, because MA is based off of herself, Ann M.] It's very comforting to read an Ann M. Martin book.)

[Sharanya · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t think I’ve ever cried so hard while reading a book when I first read it several years ago. And it is still makes me tear up when I re-read it. This is a wonderful tale of grasping reality and coming to terms with the loss of a parent. 12-yr old protagonist Liza O'Hara along with siblings Brent, Carrie and Hope is faced with confronting the excruciatingly painful impending death of their father. Along with their mother, they plan a memorable Christmas for him. Eventually after his passing away, how the family deals with this immense loss frames the rest of the story. Told in two parts before and after Mr. O’Hara’s death, this novel will tug your heart strings.

[Amber · Rating 5 out of 5]

Land sakes, one of the best books I have ever read. Cried my face. Reminds me of being just small and reading droves of books every summer. Ann M. Martin forever.

[Prajakta Prabhu · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is by far the best book I have ever read. I am 28 years now, and I had read this when I was just 9 years old. Do I need to say anything more? This book will leave you thinking more and more about our relationships, the curveballs that life throws at us, and the way time heals us. The subtle ways that life teaches us that it is okay to move on, to rebuild our life. A father-daughter bond, the impacts of his death on his teenage daughter's life, as she learns to pick up the pieces of her life and leave the guilt behind.. learning to survive with her father's memories.

Just read it already. I promise you will not regret it.

[Hope · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked this book up because I used to love Baby sitters Club series as a kid and didn't realize the author wrote other books outside that series. I have to say I know its a dated book but I really enjoyed it! Liza has to come to terms that her father is dying and later after his death how to learn to live without him. She feels guilty enjoying life and pushes everyone away. Even though I am now a adult I still enjoyed this kids book! Might have to see what other books Ann Martin wrote that I didn't know about.

[Heidi-Anne Heeman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Emotional and raw

I first read this book as a little girl and I didn’t understand death and grief then . Now as an adult and mother reading this book again brought out all the emotions I had been bottling up. My mother passed from cancer 8 years ago so I can relate to Liza I struggled with grief too.

[sophia woods · Rating 5 out of 5]

"With you, without you. With you and without you. I don’t know the answer, Dad, but the love will always be there.”

I first read this when I was very young and it shaped my view of grief and loss tremendously, but in such a gentle way that I didn't understand how formative it was until this reread. I sobbed.

[Samantha · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn't read much of Ann M. Martin's books outside the BSC, but I can very vaguely sort of remember this one. Or, at least, I think I read it before. Perhaps I didn't, and just the basic idea of it is what is familiar. Anyway. I read part of this at work and cried.

So that was great.

[Traceylee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Why

It was about a teenager who lost her father. She was really struggling throug life without him and didn't want to be happy because she felt she didn't deserve to since her father couldn't be there.

[Kang P. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Comforting to one's soul; energetic and empowering

[Brooklyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good book

[Vicky · Rating 4 out of 5]

Remembered reading this as a kid and picked it back up again, as it made quite an impression on me back then. Held up pretty well actually, and was fun to read for nostalgia's sake.

[Katy Lovejoy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked this knowing it was going to make me sad. But wow

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

I remember balling my eyes out reading this book when I was like 10 or so. I doubt I'll be able to find it here in Sweden but I'd be interested to know how it has aged.

[Louie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A sad and emotional tale.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Stumbled across this book that I loved and reread many times as a child and a devoted fan of Ann M. Martin. It was just like I remembered it.

[bluerose]

My heart💔

[Kristy Sokol · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this book when I was young. It hits much different as an adult. 💜

[Emma P · Rating 5 out of 5]

Grade/interest level: MS
Reading level: 660L
Genre: Fiction
Main Characters: Liza, Marc, mom
Setting: house, school, parties, different house ect.
POV: First person
Liza is a 7th grade girl living in a family of 6. Her dad has been pretty sick lately. He goes to the doctor and they say he will only live for 6 months to a year. Liza's dad loved Christmas, and he died 61/2 months later. Liza needed to learn to be happy again, and enjoy Christmas. Follow her journey by reading "With and Without You".

[Mazzou B · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is not on my ''definitely keep'' list. It was very 1990's. ;P Which isn't a terrible thing. But it didn't touch my heart as much as I expected. I guess because I've read so many books on loss and suffering from a Christian perspective, and this book isn't Christian thus it lacked a lot in value. Plus, there is way too much about the [long hoped-for] boyfriend of pre-teen girl (main character). Not recommended by me, just so you know.

[Halida · Rating 4 out of 5]

A story of an American family struggling with the death of their loved one. The pain of losing a husband and father was almost unbearable for the O'Haras, and everybody dealt with it in different ways. Liza, one of the O'Hara kids, couldn't let herself have any fun for months after her father's death.
The best Ann M. Martin book I've read so far.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Started With You and Without You by Ann M. Martin is very good. It's made me cry numerous times already--I had to put the book down while elliptical-ing yesterday so I wouldn't cry at the gym. That would've been mucho embarassing!!!

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

First book that ever got me emotionally involved in the story. I remember balling my eyes out as a 6th grader, maybe a 7th grader, not sure. I should reread it to experience it again, but the impact that it had on me as a youth is immeasurable.

[Lori Georgeff · Rating 5 out of 5]

A sweet story of a girl who loved her father.

I don't care how old you are but whether old or young, losing one of your parents is one of the hardest things you will ever do. Anne did a marvelous job in expressing her feelings about doing so. Thank You so very much for doing this.

[Jenny · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first read this book in elementary school and it has stayed with me. The main character's father is dying and something about it just got me. I loved it.

[Sally · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book really did make me cry a lot when I read it! Lisa's father is dying, and the book follows her and her family through this to his death, and then the aftermath.

[Wisty · Rating 3 out of 5]

I only remember that this book was ok, but that's all I remember.