The Book of Ecstasy: Opening Yourself Up to Erotic Energy―In All Its Forms

by Barbara Carrellas

A bold and healing guide to rediscovering ecstasy through sex, spirit, and radical self-acceptance

From Barbara Carrellas, trailblazing author of the beloved Urban Tantra, comes The Book of Ecstasy, a fully revised and expanded edition of her cult classic Ecstasy Is Necessary. With warmth, clarity, and compassion, Carrellas reclaims ecstasy as a deeply personal and accessible experience of joy, aliveness, and connection―not something reserved for mystics or perfect bodies, but available to anyone willing to listen to their own truth. This is a book for anyone who has ever felt left out of mainstream conversations about sex, pleasure, or identity―especially those seeking “something more” beyond the norm.

Addressing vital topics such as boundaries, consent, and neurodiversity, The Book of Ecstasy also explores what happens when ecstasy feels impossible―or too overwhelming to manage. Carrellas writes for those who are healing from trauma, navigating illness, or mourning the loss of their old sexual selves, while also naming and normalizing powerful energetic and emotional states that are often misunderstood.

Blending practical tools, spirituality, and decades of embodied experience, this book offers a fiercely inclusive and radically affirming path to ecstasy―for every body, in every season of life.

Genres: Self Help, Sexuality, Health

320 pages, Paperback

Published August 11, 2026

Reviews

[Nicole]

Proving that achieving ecstasy is more than you think.

✦This was not what I expected, but in a great way. I was expecting (obviously) a sex-positive guide to exploration of intimacy, but I was pleasantly surprised that it leaned more into the spirit and radical self-acceptance pieces. Don’t get me wrong- it does explore intimacy in the physical form, but not before encouraging you to identify and examine your values, needs, desires and boundaries.

✦She participated in a study using fMRI technology to qualify decades of her own experience and teachings which proved that ecstasy does not need to be reached by physical means alone; she’s able to “think-off” (yes, you read that right, and it's exactly what you think it is) by aligning her energy. It seems wild without reading how she achieves it, but I found it compelling, and because the fMRI proved it, I trust the data.

✦There’s a lot that resonated with me. She discusses hard topics like what happens when ecstasy feels out of reach? There are many reasons why this may be the case- celibacy (chosen or not), illness, age, etc., and how to change the narrative so you can get there. I liked how affirming and inclusive it was.

» Her writing is clear and accessible; the content is easy to read, compassionate, and relatable with plenty of real-life examples.

✩ You’re encouraged to use a journal to complete exercises and prompts which are helpful to get the most out of this and offers additional resources through her website: BarbaraCarrellas.com

♡ I enjoyed this! It’s thought provoking and engaging, and perfect if you’re looking for a way to connect with yourself and/or your loved ones on a deeper level.

⋆₊⊹⁀➴Thank you to St. Martin's Essentials for the free book!

→ Connect with me on Instagram!

[Stacey (Bookalorian)]

Book review - Physical Book - ARC - Non fiction - body, mind and spirit - Sexuality

I just finished The Book of Ecstacy by Barbera Carrellas and here are my musings.

Have you ever wanted to connect with your partner but you have road blocks? This book will help you find a way to find pleasure in physical touch in an inclusive way.

The book covers boundaries, consent and sexual pleasure.

Finding pleasure while you are healing from trauma, or dealing with sickness… Maybe you are learning about your sexual identity. This book is for you. Ecstasy is something you can have daily. The book takes the approach of practical tools and insights to expanding erotic and energetic experiences.


It's not a book I would have brought because I didn’t think I needed it. I found it really informative and I learned a ton. I want to try some of the things in it with my husband and he is definitely game. It can never hurt to try and connect with the person you love even if you think you don’t need to.

It's well written and easy to follow.

It's going to be a while before you can grab a copy, Aug 2026 is the release date but I will be ahead of the curve by the time you get yours.

Thank you to st martins press for my gifted copy… 4.5 stars

#spillthebook #readers #nonfiction #booklover #staceandjace #bookpod #eroticenergy #ecstacy #spiritual #booktok #bookstagram

[Melanie Green]

The Book of Ecstasy approaches sexuality from a much broader perspective than I expected. Rather than focusing solely on sex, Barbara Carrellas explores intimacy, mindfulness, breathwork, embodiment, and the many ways people experience pleasure and connection. I found the discussions of breathing exercises and expanded states of awareness especially interesting because they encourage slowing down and becoming more present instead of chasing a particular outcome.

I'm a fairly sexual person to begin with, so I was curious whether this book would offer me anything new. It did. While not every exercise resonated with me, I appreciated the author's open-minded, nonjudgmental approach and the emphasis on curiosity rather than performance. The book invites you to think about erotic energy as something that can enrich many parts of life, not just physical intimacy, and that perspective stayed with me after I finished. Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for providing me with a free advance review copy. I truly appreciated the opportunity to read it.

[DJPimpDaddy]

Received a Goodreads giveaway copy of this book pre-publication. I was not sure what to expect from this book and realized that in the context of this book I am rather vanilla but curious. Very in depth guidelines and explanations about opening up safely and open mindedly to all forms of exploration. Very fascinating topic, and part of human nature. In today's uh... climate we shall say, sadly the prudes are attempting to squash most of this and reverse decades of progress and awakenings.

Will I attempt anything I read in this book? Maybe 10% of it. That being said it was still highly educational to at least understand and be more empathetic to so many cultures and groups out there. Even without trying anything in this book, you gain the valuable insight into just being a better human being. Glad to have won this book in a giveaway since I am not sure I would have picked it up if i was walking through a bookstore and saw it, but I am happy I read it which is the best review I can give it. Cheers to my sex-positive warriors out there!

[Adriana]

Barbara Carrellas takes readers on a journey through what ecstasy truly is and guides them through simple steps that can help anyone find ecstasy in their lives. She gives personal examples and stories of patients or friends who have gone on the journey. It broadens the meaning and helps support that everyone experiences things differently, and that's okay.

My favorite thing about it is how she constantly points out that even though ecstasy is often associated with eroticism (even in the book's title), it doesn't have to be that way. You can find it in nature, in a day spent with friends and loved ones, and in a good book. It's all about being open to experiencing and welcoming it.

It's clear and concise. I would almost describe it as clinical, except you can tell she feels deeply about her work and what she is writing about. I'd never heard of her before reading this book, but I walked away feeling like I can trust her and her suggestions.

Delighted thanks to NetGalley and St. Martin's Essentials for the enlightening read!

[Danielle Silver]

This author’s main expertise is teaching people how to give themselves what she calls “breath and energy orgasms” by breathing and pulling the earth’s energy into their bodies until they reach a state of ecstasy. While I did gain a few takeaways from reading this I don’t think her style of advice and the way she approaches life was really my vibe, I was definitely not the target audience for this. It felt very basic to me, like the book version of a meeting that could have been an email. I don’t necessarily regret reading it but I don’t think this book would be my go to recommendation for people looking for a nonfiction book about improving their erotic lives. I do appreciate the opportunity to read it though so thank you to the author/publisher for the free copy from a Goodreads giveaway.

[Betsy]

I don't know what I was actually expecting going into this book but I feel like it didn't hit the mark like I expected it to. ( ON ME and not the book)

I appreciated a few small areas about radical acceptance. However, several times throughout there were mentions multiple time that you didn't have to be a sexual person to benefit from this book -in my opinion- to be able to get the most out of it, you had to be. And you had to be open.

I may just not have been the right audience for this.

I implement some of the practices into my life, but overall I felt like this could be very informative and useful for someone more targeted at what the aim was ... I was not that target audience.

Thank you Net Galley for the advanced copy.

[B.]

I won a copy of this one in a goodreads giveaway. I tried finishing it, I really did, but...I am *not* the audience for this one. This is a very woo-woo book. Which I guess one probably should have guessed from the title...but the blurb doesn't make it seem that way (if it had, I wouldn't have entered in the first place).

This is really geared towards those who believe that crystals do something other than look pretty and can be used to repel things by their existence (as opposed to simply being used like a rock and throwing).

And it's definitely not for the demisexual crowd. So. Yeah. Must be a woo-woo person who falls into the non-demi, non-asexual umbrella to possibly enjoy? appreciate? be interested? in this one.

[Marissa]

3.5 stars

This book didn't hit the mark like I expected it to. I appreciated a few small snippets of the books, especially the parts about radical acceptance. However, it had mentioned multiple time that you didn't have to be a sexual person to really benefit from this book and I felt like to get the most out of it, you had to be. And you had to be very open to different things.

I may just not have been the right audience for this. I will take some of the practices and try to implement them in my life, but overall I felt like it missed the mark for me

Thank you Net Galley for the advanced copy.

[lindsay.books]

This book was interesting and easy to read, but not what I expected. After reading it, I'd consider it a how-to manual for those interested in expanding their sexual activities, with their existing or additional partners. There’s a lot of questions/activities to prompt self reflection and advice on communication, after-care, self-awareness, etc. I’m not sure what exactly I expected (maybe more of a non-fiction book about the experience of pleasure, as opposed to a self-help book?) but regardless, it was a thought-provoking read!

Thanks to St Martins Essentials for the ARC to read and review!

[Cindi]

When I picked up this book, it didn’t match my expectations, though I realize that was due to my own perspective rather than any fault of the book. While most of it didn’t resonate, I appreciated the sections on radical acceptance for their helpful insights. The author stated the book’s benefits weren’t limited to sexual people, but it seemed being open to those experiences was important, making me feel I wasn’t the intended audience. Although I didn’t fully connect with its aims, I plan to try some practices suggested. Overall, the book may be valuable for others more aligned with its target audience, but it wasn’t for me.

[Penelope Bloom]

I am not sure exactly what drew me to this book. Promises of "ecstasy" kind of scare me. But I enjoyed this book, learned a decent amount, and I truly appreciated the nuanced and wide definitions of ecstasy/ecstasy-adjacent conditions, not just sexual situations.

[baked and booked]

Netgalley ARC