I Have This Thing for Flowers: Essays on the Roots of Relationships

by Alysia Li Ying Sawchyn

A story of love, marriage, and flowers from beloved writer and gardening enthusiast Alysia Li Ying Sawchyn

It begins with an ending. Six months before they were to be married, Alysia Li Ying Sawchyn’s fiancée broke off their engagement, leaving her stunned and reeling. Looking for stability — and health insurance — she married a friend instead. Then, while sharing a home and tending to a garden together, the marriage of convenience turned into a marriage of love.

In science, art, and mythology, we cannot help but to see flowers as metaphors for the fleeting nature of youth, vitality, and love. While it’s easy to casually admire something beautiful, it requires a closer look to appreciate the effort that produces that beauty. In I Have This Thing For Flowers, Sawchyn does just that, likening the many flowers she has grown in her garden to a range of relationships and activities from motherhood to ex-boyfriends to Greek mythology.

Cataloguing all of the great romances of her life like an herbarium of flowers preserved from the garden, Sawchyn examines the kinds of love that can't be explained.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Essays, Nature, Audiobook, Biography Memoir, Biography

254 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 4, 2026

Reviews

[sea ʚ♡ɞ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to Macmillan Audio for the Advanced Listener's Copy! This review is voluntary and my honest opinion ♡

I have been in need of an essay collection for a bit so I was excited for one that blends life experiences with nature as a bridge to understanding it. That being said, this book just did not land for me. I was hoping for the metaphors of nature to blend better into the stories and not feel like large chunks of info dumping about flowers and then large chunks of info dumping about her life. It didn't seemlessly connect the way I was hoping but I did learn about nature a bit and that's always a plus for me.

The narrator did a good job but I felt like, whether it was her cadence or the books writing style, this book at times felt a little gossipy or like a friend venting/info dumping on a friend rather than anything meaningful in each chapter that would help me learn something from her experiences. I didn't connect much with the author's life though so it may be exactly what someone else needs to hear and I think that holds value still, just not for me.

I'm still grateful to have received this ALC, I just don't think I was the right audience for it!

[Cindy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has an identity problem. It’s a story about the author’s various relationships, and it’s a well-researched and interesting non-fiction account of various flower species. Despite the author’s and editor’s attempts to connect the two, it didn’t really work for me.
Nevertheless, the overall impression is one of quirkiness. And I like quirky.
I definitely liked the floral writings more than the relationship stuff. The author has an inquisitive mind that goes down several petal-strewn rabbit holes to share interesting flower lore. I couldn’t bring myself to care as much about her on-again, off-again boyfriend, rehab, etc., other than to be glad she is now healthy and happy (and writing).
Bottom line: it’s worth reading for the botanical sections. 3.75 rounded up.
My thanks to the author, publisher, @MacmillanAudio, and #NetGalley for early access to the audiobook of #IHaveThisThingForFlowers for review purposes. Publication date: 4 August 2026.

[Sacha · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars

This is an intriguing essay collection, and I enjoyed the audiobook.

I love plants, flowers, and the like, so I was interested to see how this titular motif would be woven throughout the individual essays. For me, there was a bit too much variety in impact. I had a harder time finding the deeper unifying themes and staying engaged in specific entries. I enjoyed this as a casual listen, but it just didn't come together as I'd anticipated for a more profound experience.

I'll definitely give this author more shots, but I wanted a bit more overall here.

*Special thanks to NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for this alc, which I received in exchange for an honest review. The opinions expressed here are my own.

[Kuu [semi-ia for china reasons] · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for this ALC.

I thought this book would be more interesting, but sadly it wasn't really. Which sucked especially because this was the only download that would actually open on my 9-hour-flight without wifi, so I didn't have anything to switch to. On the other hand, that also means I was Locked In when I listened to this.

I liked the narration, and the book wasn't bad per se, but it just was... quite basic. There was talk about flowers, and about the author and her relationships, but I honestly don't think there was anything particularly unique that would have warranted this book to exist. This is in no way an attack on the author, because like... that's her experiences, and obviously you want to talk about your experiences, right, but they just were pretty average, normal experiences that a bazillion books have already been written about, and I think the author's misfortune was that I have already read similar books about similar experiences. If this had been my first book of the kind, I would probably have enjoyed this more. The books are very different, but in a way it's the same curse that exists - in my opinion - with Japanese or East Asian healing fiction, where the first two, three books seem very nice and cool and unique and you like the book a lot, but then you read more and more and they're all kind of the same and you've already read 17 stories like this and you can't even tell the different novels apart anymore as they're all doing the same thing, and the later on you read a specific novel of the genre, the less you like it, because the less original it feels. And books like this specific one also have the further disadvantage that they not only need to compete with other memoir-type books, but also with romance novels that ALSO kind of follow the same structure and deal with the same struggles. So it's really not the author's fault that I didn't enjoy this a lot, she literally couldn't have won. And I definitely do think that people that are bigger fans of the genre might enjoy this a lot more! So this isn't a "don't read this, it's boring", it's a "be aware that this isn't very unique, but can still be a very interesting and enjoyable read if this is the kind of genre that you eat up generally".

[Olive Fellows (abookolive)]

Did my mom come up with this title? Because she could have.

On a serious note, an essay collection about complicated relationships AND gardening AND Greek mythology sounds so unique and interesting.

Click here to hear more about this book and my other anticipated releases of the upcoming quarter over on my Booktube channel, abookolive!

[Dodi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Alysia Li Ying Sawchyn's book of interconnected essays compares nurturing a garden to nurturing relationships. I liked the gardening side of this book very much; Sawchyn discusses various flowers, and I found myself perking up when my favorites were mentioned. I couldn't relate to the author's relationship experiences. I do agree that gardening and relationships require lots of work.

[kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

“imagine that, while building a door that is really a pit, you find another person alongside you in the dark…imagine that the hole is a choice. imagine that you can choose to stop digging.”

there were a few points where i had to put the book down and take several deep breaths, and this was one of them. alysia has SUCH a way with words. i found myself horrifically seen in these pages, and yet, by the end, also felt that there is a way out. a future with a wife and a garden full of flowers.

[Judi]

Sawchyn musing on life, love, and how flowers were intertwined with them. It's OK.

[Atlas · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you Flatiron Books for the ARC of I Have This Thing for Flowers: Essays on the Roots of Relationships by Alysia Sawchyn.

This is the kind of book that feels like wandering through someone's garden while they tell you stories about their life. Some of those stories are funny, some are heartbreaking, and some are simply thoughtful reflections on the people who leave their mark on us.

⭐️⭐️⭐️✨ (3.5 stars)

The strongest part of this collection is the way Sawchyn connects flowers and gardening to relationships. It could have felt gimmicky, but for the most part the metaphor works beautifully. The essays explore romantic love, friendship, family, loss, and personal growth through the lens of cultivating a garden, and there are some genuinely lovely observations throughout.

I also appreciated the honesty in the memoir elements. The story of a broken engagement leading to an unexpected marriage of convenience immediately hooked me, and I found myself most engaged when the author was sharing personal experiences and emotions.

That said, essay collections are always a bit uneven for me. Some pieces resonated deeply, while others didn't leave as much of an impression. I occasionally found myself wishing for a little more depth or emotional connection in certain essays.

What I Loved
• The creative connection between flowers and relationships
• Honest and vulnerable personal storytelling
• Beautiful reflections on love, loss, and growth
• The gardening themes woven throughout the collection
• Several essays that felt especially thoughtful and memorable

What Didn't Work for Me
• Some essays were stronger than others
• A few sections felt a little repetitive in theme
• I wanted more emotional depth in certain places
• The collection occasionally felt more reflective than impactful

Overall, this is a gentle, thoughtful essay collection that will likely appeal to readers who enjoy memoirs, gardening, and reflections on the many forms love can take. While not every essay fully connected with me, there was enough beauty and insight here to make it a worthwhile read. 🌸📖💐

[Tiffany · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley for the ARC audio of this book.

I wanted to love this book so much. It felt very disjointed & didn’t work for me throwing flower information into personal stories in a memoir feel. I loved the flower portions of the book so very much and I loved all the references to art. The author is a beautiful writer, but the personal portions of the book I found myself caring less and less about. It felt like two books that were mashed together in an awkward way. I get it was supposed to be different but it just didn’t work for me. I would have much preferred an entire book by this author in her lovely writing style, purely about flowers and with the beautiful art references. That would have been a 5 star read for me.

In the end, sadly this is 3.5⭐️ rounded up to four, as I do really love the authors writing style and I feel this had so much potential.

[Lyon.Brit.andthebookshelf · Rating 4 out of 5]

I Have This Thing for Flowers is part memoir…part essay collection…weaving together flowers…gardening…art…science and the many forms love can take🌿 From heartbreak and unexpected new beginnings to motherhood and the quiet work of tending both gardens and relationships Alysia Li Ying Sawchyn explores life through the language of flora in such a thoughtful…beautiful way.

I have such a soft spot for essay collections like this🌼 I loved how deeply researched it felt while remaining so personal and intimate. Every flower became a doorway into a memory or reflection and I can already tell this is one I’ll revisit someday…I’m certain I’ll walk away with something different each time💛

Thank you Flatiron Books for the gifted copy.

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/Lyon.brit.A...

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I Have This Thing for Flowers by Alysia Li Ying Sawchyn is beautifully written collection of essays about love and the author's personal experiences with life as a thirtysomething. There is also a wide literal and metaphoric observations about tending gardens and specific flower species. This book came to my attention during a promotion of Asian American women authors but worth noting that this author is "Wasian" (half Asian half White) and race doesn't reflect too much in this memoir.

It is worth noting that the author is young and it often seeems that a memoir at this point in time seems somewhat premature. The writing is mature and self aware and thoughtful. It's just that the story is ending just when life take an unexpected trajectory (her marriage to another woman) and the reader is left unfulfilled about learning what is likely to be other big events due to unfold.

[Samantha · Rating 3 out of 5]

Each essay begins with a bloom, but never stays just there for long. Instead, petals, stalks, and leaves become archways into memory, identity, family, love, loss— all the quiet ways we inherit ourselves. The tongue of floriculture isn’t treated as a novelty or clever device; it’s trusted as a history and vocabulary expansive enough to hold what ordinary speech can’t. These essays are telling you, without outright saying it. Every floret is introduced carrying more than just color or fragrance, they bear the weight of memory, longing, inheritance, grief, tenderness, and the countless ordinary moments that shape a life. These essays understand that flowers have never merely decorated our lives— they’ve witnessed them; they’ve attended them.

What emerges alongside the botany is a life rendered with remarkable hindsight. These aren’t essays arranged into neat revelations or polished lessons. They’re populated by friends, partners, homes, passing conversations, the peculiar habits we inherit without noticing, and the versions of ourselves we quietly outgrow. Even the smallest recollections are treated with the dignity of something worth pressing and preserving, and that trust in the ordinary becomes one of the collection’s greatest strengths.

The sentences possess a quiet pulse. Nothing rushes, nothing insists. The flowing prose allows observation to deepen naturally, inviting you to linger, to observe, just long enough for an ordinary flower— or an ordinary memory— to become something so much than beautiful. They ask us to look again at the buds we’ve passed a thousand times and consider not only what they mean, but who taught us their names in the first place.

Thank you Flatiron for my gifted ARC.

[Kris · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed learning about the various plants and flowers the author discussed however throughout the book, I got lost so many times. I lost track about what or who she was discussing since she jumps around a lot. I understand that there is a way to weave personal narratives together while explaining a certain topic and I have read many books like that but this one wasn't fully executed in a cohesive way.

[Janine · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a book about relationships told from the perspective of flowers. Each chapter begins with a flower and we learn about the flower, its properties for healing and helping, along with a relationship of someone either loved by, befriended by or related to the author. Interwoven these stories are delightful. I especially liked become more familiar with the flowers themselves than the relationships, though I get high marks to the author for that. The writing is very descriptive and emotive. This is a book for readers who appreciate the flora of this world and how relationships make them and us better for their existence.

[HaleyK · Rating 5 out of 5]

Being a lover of all things flowers, I was highly intrigued by this book.

It ended up being very relatable and full of knowledge on flowers that I was lacking.

I love a good memoir that i can see myself inside, and this one is it.

Thank you netgalley for the advanced audiobook

[Rolf · Rating 4 out of 5]

As someone who has also spent a lot of time thinking about life and relationships while working in my yard, I really vibed with the central conceit of this book.

I also really enjoyed Sawchyn’s writing style.

[C · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have this thing for Alysia Sawchyn (and I am excited to interview her this week for The Rumpus!).

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

As always, I feel odd reviewing a memoir - as if I am rating someone’s life. For me the flower metaphor became repetitive midway through, tho the author’s writing sparkles throughout.

[Onceinabluemoon · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really do have a thing for flowers, loved that aspect only...

[Natasha Kirker · Rating 3 out of 5]

The idea just didn’t work for me with the flowers. The writing is nice but the flowers just seemed like a separate thing.