Healing Shame and Guilt: The Developmental Roots of Chronic Shame and Guilt and How the NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM) Can Help You Heal and Reconnect

by Laurence Heller Ph.D., Stephan Niederwieser

240 pages, Paperback

Published May 12, 2026

Reviews

[Ryan Ebling]

Ironically, I felt embarrassed to post this one. Really helpful book.

[Caroline · Rating 4 out of 5]

A well written guide to working with patients with shame and guilt issues. I do not agree with some of the concepts used in the book, probably because of the training I’ve done in DBT. Not sure that I agree with them not being emotions, I very well might have missed the point so I don’t say this as a criticism of the book.
Not the easiest book to read, definitely a complex one for therapists who have either studied NARM or who have a specific interest in this area. Since the majority of the people I work with have issues with shame I found it very interesting. I know I won’t be able to study and train in NARM and yet reading this book does give me a better understanding of shame.
Whilst I have read it once I think it is a book I will revisit and have made numerous book marks so I think it will be a helpful reference book. It is definitely a technical book that does take some time to digest. I think it will make an excellent reference book.
It includes reflection exercises which are very helpful in illustrating the concepts.
The first part looks at what is shame and guilt and how to free yourself the second then addresses how to resolve shame and guilt in a clinical setting. This could initially be seen as a confusing mix but I do think it best to ensure you have done the work before you support others.
I think the book is best suited for anyone trained in NARM and also would be helpful supplementary reading for clinicians working with people who experienced complex trauma.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing this book for my consideration, this is all my own rambling, honest and personal opinion.

[Helen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is quite a good book although a little dense at times. I don’t have a background in NARM but I found the content about shame and guilt really interesting and there are definitely some points I would use in my own counselling practice - although I didn’t agree with everything. There was a small section on grief that I found interesting as he is my specialist area. Thanks to NetGalley and North Atlantic Books for the ARC.

[Haley (the social work shelf) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book slays.

I’m not super familiar with NARM but after reading this book, I’m going to have to dig deeper.

The discussion regarding how shame and guilt function and arise in childhood and presentation in adulthood really resonated with me personally and I can see how clients would resonate.

I’m not 1000% on board with this modality or frame for trauma but overall I’m impressed as someone unfamiliar with this modality.

3.5 stars rounded up to 4!

[Collette · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some good information. As a clinician , there was some good information and general strategies but also parts I didn’t agree with for PTSD. I also wondered how this would be received by a layperson reading this. The writers wrote this from the perspective of their model, NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM), which I had never heard of until this book.