Detached: How to Let Go, Heal, and Become Irresistible

by Sabrina Alexis Bendory

How to Let Go, Heal, & Become Irresistible is a transformative guide for anyone who feels stuck in patterns of self-sabotage, overthinking, or settling for less—especially in relationships.

Whether you’re anxiously attached and constantly chasing love, emotionally unavailable and afraid to let anyone in, or simply tired of abandoning yourself to be chosen, this book will help you break the cycle.

Through a blend of personal stories, psychology, and deeply practical tools, relationship coach Sabrina Bendory shows you how to stop tying your worth to other people’s approval, release the fear of being alone, and reconnect with the most powerful, grounded version of yourself.

Detached isn’t about becoming indifferent—it’s about becoming free. It’s about building self-trust, regulating your emotions, and no longer needing to prove your value.

If you’re ready to stop giving your power away and start creating the love, confidence, and peace you’ve been craving—not by holding on tighter, but by letting go—this is your starting point.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Relationships

302 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 9, 2025

Reviews

[Taryn · Rating 5 out of 5]

bar none, the best and most practicable book i’ve read on attachment. every woman should read this!

[Quinn McVeigh · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really incredible book. There were so many sentences and prompts I used to journal and introspect. Incredible practical and to the point, if you are ready to get up close and personal with the things you want to change and dig through old wounds to create new healthy patterns this book is for you.

[Korinna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Most helpful and easy to digest self-help books

Everyone needs to read this. It’s so simplified. Actually changed my perspective and I am already implementing her lessons. If I could give this 10 stars I would.

[Esha Veby · Rating 5 out of 5]

I haven’t finished this book yet, but it has already been incredibly helpful

[Deidre Piechocki · Rating 5 out of 5]

excellent Read

One of the best book I’ve read about approaching self-healing core wounds and moving forward with relationships. I felt seen within its pages.

[Elisa Marin Couture · Rating 5 out of 5]

First introspection book I’ve ever read, and wow, what an eye-opener. I’d recommend it to all my besties who keep wondering why they get attached to narcissistic, manipulative, or avoidant partners. For the ones who feel “not enough,” and can’t understand why, despite being strong and independent, they never fall for the good ones, this one hits home. 💭✨

[Eve Du Mesnil · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full of sharp, compassionate insight. Sabrina has a way of explaining attachment and dating mindsets/dynamics that feels clear, uncoated by hyperbole and deeply grounding. I wish I’d found this book at the start of my dating life- it would’ve saved me a great deal of unnecessary heartache. Thoughtful, practical, and surprisingly soothing.

As a readers note - I think most would lean towards the audio version because her voice is so familiar due to her online channels/presence. She chose not to narrate which is a bit disappointing however as outlined heavily throughout her content she is the mother of 4 and perhaps it just wasn’t feasible.

[LINDA BERRY · Rating 5 out of 5]

great book!

Wow! I have learned more about myself through this book than I ever imagined. As a young widow, I have been living in a dark and lonely place. I feel like this book was like a hand pulling me out of the brokenness! I will be forever grateful! I will trust myself, love myself and never forget that I am worthy of a beautiful life! Thank you Sabrina!

[Tamsin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sabrina lays out some fantastic methods for regulating your nervous system and prioritising yourself in a loving way. Incredibly relatable and helpful. Wish I’d read this book sooner!

[Rosa · Rating 5 out of 5]

The information is not new to me but this time it resonated while listening to the audiobook.

[Judith l · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. What a honest reflective read. I especially love all of the stories about her clients. They’re so relatable. Thanks for writing this!” Beautiful book!

[HB · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the go to book on understanding relationships. Full of applicable advice and exercises to get you on the path to healing. Highly recommend!

[Ari Chand · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book could have said the same core ideas and strategies in half the length. Bendory reframes detachment not as emotional coldness or withdrawal, but as a state of inner stability and the ability to care deeply without losing oneself. The book’s central argument is that when people learn to regulate their emotions and root their self-worth internally, they naturally form healthier, more balanced connections with others. The most useful chapter is the one on letting go of people in your life who aren’t serving you and how this opens up to new possibilities.

She draws on personal anecdotes, relationship patterns she has observed, and practical exercises to help readers identify where they may be over-investing, overthinking, or abandoning their own needs. This book doesn’t necessarily bring anything new to seasoned self-help reader it does a good job of stepping through ideas for those who might not have engaged in these concepts before. And offers a grounded and compassionate roadmap for letting go of unhealthy emotional patterns, making it especially valuable for readers who feel stuck in repeating relational cycles and are ready to cultivate calm emotional independence.

[Kristina]

I have mixed feelings about this book. It’s not written by a psychotherapist, and I think I was expecting it to be. You can tell it’s written from a coaching perspective and not through a Psychotherapy lens. It’s not terrible, a few helpful bits, but it’s more like a conversation with an experienced but unqualified friend.

[Jocelyn · Rating 2 out of 5]

I resolved, upon finishing this, that I won't read another book where the author's primary professional qualification is coaching. It was also absolutely loaded with "it's not x - it's y" and we all know what that means at this point.

[Precious Ojabunor · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have a lot of expectation for the content of this book