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Nude in the Northwest: How I Learned To Air Out My Hoo-Ha, Avoid Tan Lines, and Still Make It To Costco On Time
Welcome to the Pacific Northwest, where the rain is constant, the coffee is strong, and the only thing we take off faster than our raincoats is… well… everything else.
I’m Kristin—38, Volvo driver, recovering Subaru loyalist, Washington-state resident, nudist, and proud owner of exactly zero shame left in my body. This isn’t just another memoir about “finding yourself.” This is a full-frontal, wine-fueled, laugh-so-hard-you-snort journey through the chaotic, sunburned, and sometimes poop-stained world of modern nudist friendship.
Inside these pages, you’ll
The day my best friend Tanya sharted in her Porsche to “claim” it (and why I later retaliated on a chair)
What happens when you make a naked man with a 2-inch penis the center of brunch conversation
Why sunscreen is both a skincare routine and a spiritual practice
The HOA meeting that went to hell thanks to one flamingo and zero pants
How to car shop in the nude without getting arrested (yes, I bought my Volvo naked)
Why the first hot day in the Pacific Northwest is basically Mardi Gras, but with more SPF 50 and less clothing
It’s raw (literally), it’s raunchy-but-PG-13-enough-for-your-weird-aunt, and it’s proof that the clothes come off here whether you’re ready or not.
If you like your humor folksy, your stories unbelievable-but-true, and your main character a little bit wine-drunk and a lot bit naked, you’re in the right book.
Pour yourself a glass, strip down to nothing, and join me and my ridiculous crew as we prove—once and for all—that nudists have way more fun.
Contains nudity, chaos, competitive butt-slapping, light emotional growth, and scenes that may make you rethink every piece of furniture you’ve ever sat on.
I’m Kristin—38, Volvo driver, recovering Subaru loyalist, Washington-state resident, nudist, and proud owner of exactly zero shame left in my body. This isn’t just another memoir about “finding yourself.” This is a full-frontal, wine-fueled, laugh-so-hard-you-snort journey through the chaotic, sunburned, and sometimes poop-stained world of modern nudist friendship.
Inside these pages, you’ll
The day my best friend Tanya sharted in her Porsche to “claim” it (and why I later retaliated on a chair)
What happens when you make a naked man with a 2-inch penis the center of brunch conversation
Why sunscreen is both a skincare routine and a spiritual practice
The HOA meeting that went to hell thanks to one flamingo and zero pants
How to car shop in the nude without getting arrested (yes, I bought my Volvo naked)
Why the first hot day in the Pacific Northwest is basically Mardi Gras, but with more SPF 50 and less clothing
It’s raw (literally), it’s raunchy-but-PG-13-enough-for-your-weird-aunt, and it’s proof that the clothes come off here whether you’re ready or not.
If you like your humor folksy, your stories unbelievable-but-true, and your main character a little bit wine-drunk and a lot bit naked, you’re in the right book.
Pour yourself a glass, strip down to nothing, and join me and my ridiculous crew as we prove—once and for all—that nudists have way more fun.
Contains nudity, chaos, competitive butt-slapping, light emotional growth, and scenes that may make you rethink every piece of furniture you’ve ever sat on.
73 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 14, 2025
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Displaying 1 of 1 review
September 22, 2025
This was an absolute waste of time! I downloaded this to read about people enjoying the clothes-free lifestyle, not gross-out humor, so I really prefer to think this garbage did not really happen. I have enjoyed Miss Williams's tales and advice in the past, but this sewage was is a black hole on her record. Skip this one at all costs, because it is miles below her usual standard.
Displaying 1 of 1 review