The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook

by Melani Sanders

We. Do. Not. Care.
Do you wake up with night sweats at 3:26 am, overstimulated, mad at anything breathing, and ready to put the world on notice?
Do you forget the words you are saying as you are saying them?
If you have a she-shed and no longer care about clothes that fit, half-painted big toenails, or cellulite on your legs (legs is legs!), then welcome to the club -- the We Do Not Care (WDNC) Club. You're now a card-carrying member with an exclusive invite to the biggest hormonal party in town.
This Club is for all of our Sisters in perimenopause, menopause, and postmenopause who are over it. Here is a list* of things We Do Not Care about today:


Shaving our legs.
Plucking our chin hair.
Wearing PJs all day. Clothes is clothes.
Being on time. Be happy that I showed up -- I don't even want to be here.
People who think we have a sh*tty attitude. That's on them.
Cancelled plans. We didn't want to go anywhere anyway.
If you’re hungry. The kitchen isn’t locked.
If you're cold. Don't even think about touching that thermostat.

Melani Sanders, Founding Member of the WDNC, is here to tell you that it's okay not to care. You're not alone. We’re all in the same boat, just out here trying to survive. This book is your life raft. Let's hold on for dear life -- and get through this together.

*partial and incomplete

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Humor

256 pages, Hardcover

Published January 13, 2026

Reviews

[Natasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

As many others who will be moved to read this book, I joined the We Do Not Care Club after seeing Melani's tiktoks... and they have brought me so many laughs. Even more than that, they have brought me comfort and understanding - it is so nice to know that other women out there are experiencing the same thing and they GET IT. Perimenopause is not for the weak.

This handbook was light-hearted and fun to read. I never tire of hearing different examples of the things we just do not care about anymore. More than that, there were other nuggets of wisdom and examples of amazing women who accomplished so much while experiencing the same things we are today. I will echo other reviews and say that ebook is not the best format for this - definitely recommend a physical book or even audio.

A sincere thank you to NetGalley and William Morrow/Harvest for the opportunity to read an early copy.

[Michelle Wilson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Melani Sanders is so funny! She writes and shares about her perimenopause journey with humor and wit. Although I read this ARC digitally, I think this book would be best in print and/or audio. If you are interested in midlife, pick this one up — it is both informative and entertaining.

Thanks to Harvest and Netgalley for this ARC.

[Ellen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook - accept no substitutes! Seriously, there are people out there who are selling merchandise and trying to capitalize on the WDNC Club popularity, but only items authorized and/or written by Melani Sanders (aka @justbeingmelani) are the real thing. And the real thing is worth every penny.

Most of us women "of a certain age" know Melani through her viral social media videos. She records these wearing a variety of hats, a neck pillow, several pairs of glasses, and a yellow highlighter stuck in her hair. After spitting out the cap to the highlighter, she proceeds to the announcements, which consist of a number of things that "we do not care about today." Example: "We do not care if we RSVP'd to your invitation. We wanted to go then. We don't now. We're not going." These things that we do not care about hit so close to home and are so laugh-out-loud funny that the WDNC movement has spawned chapters all over the globe and earned Melani the Creator of the Year award from People Magazine.

But let's talk about the book - I'm here to tell you that it is absolutely wonderful - far more than I expected. In addition to the "today's announcements" section in every chapter, there are messages from OB/GYNs and other women's health specialists, profiles of women through history who simply did not care (from. Helen Keller to the Queen of Hearts), sample agendas to start your own club, and quite a few pages where women can list what they do not care about today, what self-help works for them, and other resources (notable is a section that deals with how to advocate with your elected representatives for laws and policies favoring menopausal women. Melani includes a sample advocacy letter and then, in typical Melani fashion, suggests it's probably not a good idea to use the word "coochie").. It's all lighthearted but also very serious. A running theme is that menopause changes are very real, and require support, not just women thinking they have to live through it. A message that resonates with many of us - which is one of the reasons this is so popular.

I hope and fully expect this book to be a bestseller. Many thanks to Harvest and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this advance copy in exchange for my honest review.

[Bookstaglam Kira · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook
By Melani Sanders
Release Date: 1.13.26

Thank you, @harvestbooks, for a finished copy of Melani Sanders debut, The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook.

I typically start my year with a self help book to kick things off, and this was a great choice. Melani, a woman just like the rest of us, was fed up last May and took to social media stating that she no longer cared to do it all. In the midst of menopause, she was giving herself permission to not have it all together all the time and through that sharing she found that she was alone. Fast forward to today where she has a mass following shouting yes girl to all of her revelations and making up the WDNC Club.

Full transparency, I had never heard of Melani Sanders until the publisher approached me with the chance to read her book. I tabbed this book up real good, felt seen/heard, and laughed throughout.

Note, that if looking for medical advice, this is not the book, but this instead is a space created by women for women as we all navigate an area that is lacking in information, support and guidance. This is an interactive handbook that encourages tabbing, highlighting and fill in the blank. It also references how to set up your own club or join in online. I enjoyed the sections on what women no longer care about and women in history (their contributions and what they didn't care to adhere to in society).

Finding out that i'm not the only one waiting up in the middle of the night, is reassuring. (P.s. it's 3:15 am while I write this review 😉). Although, the focus of the book is on perimenopause, menopause, and post menopause, all women can relate to the pressures placed on us by society to perform at an unrealistic level in work, family, relationships, society, etc. This book shows that we can give ourselves permission to say we no longer care to adhere to those expectations.

[Sheila The Reader · Rating 4 out of 5]

We Do Not Care Club Handbook by Melani Sanders presents a humorous, candid look at life during perimenopause, menopause, and post menopause, framed as a membership guide for women navigating hormonal changes. Using short reflections and lists, the book touches on shifting priorities, physical symptoms, and everyday frustrations through a shared club-like perspective.

I first came across Melani’s TikToks this past summer, and as a postmenopausal woman, I immediately felt that spark of recognition. That same feeling carried right into this book. It is deeply relatable and genuinely funny, but what surprised me most is that it is not just humor for humor’s sake. Woven throughout are thoughtful reminders about taking care of yourself, along with little nuggets of wisdom from women both past and present, and solid, credible input from medical voices like Dr. Mary Claire Haver.

More than anything, this book made me feel seen. It felt like sitting down with a friend who gets it and who reminds you that you are not alone in this stage of life, and that you do not need to apologize for who you are right now. While I read this as an advanced ebook copy, I would absolutely buy a physical copy for myself. The design elements are fantastic, and this is very much a book you want to hold in your hands, flip through, and revisit.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the advanced copy of this ebook in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

[Women Are Not Okay Book Club · Rating 4 out of 5]

Unless you’ve been under a rock, there’s a good chance that you have heard of Melani Sanders and her “We Do Not Care Club” movement. What started out as a video filmed in her car as a cry for understanding turned into a phenomenon. The We Do Not Care Club is just that. A club for women who have just about had it, done, finished, and don’t care whether you or anyone likes it or not.
When it was announced that a handbook would be published to accompany the movement, I was excited to see what Melani would come up with. There are tidbits from a few menopause experts, excerpts from various WDNC club members discussing their experiences with menopause, and several lists of WDNC honorary members (Rosa Parks, Queen Elizabeth, Edie Windsor) to include their backstories.

Melani also added chapters on body image, sleep and sex, and the all too real balancing act we all face. Each chapter begins with the now famous “WDNC Announcements” which will make you chuckle. The WDNC handbook gives the reader a more intimate look into the authors life, versus more of the WDNC videos that have been viewed by millions.
Since it is being described as a “handbook” I would recommend a physical copy over digital if you want to jot down notes, and use your yellow highlighters.
Thank you to NetGalley and William Morrow | Harvest Publishing for providing an ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.

[Barb Fecteau · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well this was a delight! I love The WDNC videos and the tone remains that of a smart, snarky sister who knows what is headed your way. Even though I am on the crone side of meno-madness, it was still a comfort to read that it wasn't me that was bonkers, that it was just part of the ride.
Melani has her signature list of things we simply do not care about, along with examples of honorary WDNC members throughout history and quotes from women who have been through it and know whereof they speak.
Some of the chapters are a little slight and the formatting of the ebook was monstrous. I can only assume that is because it is a pre-publication Netgalley version and they will will fix it. But honestly, I think the print version of this is the way to go. There is talk of awarding yourself points for you awesomeness and keeping track of your points in the back - an impossible task in an ebook, needless to say. But the content is delightful.
Melani's voice and attitude come through in writing as strongly as they do in her videos and it is a welcome tone for women of a certain age. I'd even buy one of those affirming desk calendars if she created it, and I hate those things! If you are between the ages of 40 and death, you're going to want to read this one.

[Chrystal Mahan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a rallying cry for women who are exhausted, overstimulated, hormonal, and officially over it. Melani Sanders uses humor and honesty to normalize the many physical and emotional shifts that come with perimenopause, menopause, and post menopause. From night sweats to brain fog to sudden rage at minor inconveniences, nothing is off limits.

What makes this book work so well is its tone. Sanders does not talk down to the reader or try to sugarcoat the experience. Instead, she leans into the absurdity and frustration of it all, creating a space where laughter and relief go hand in hand. The WDNC Club concept feels like a collective sigh of recognition.

This is not a clinical or instructional book, and readers looking for medical guidance may want to pair it with other resources. That said, it excels at emotional validation. It reminds women that letting go of unrealistic expectations is not failure. It is survival.

Funny, comforting, and cathartic, The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook feels like a friend who gets it. Highly recommended for anyone navigating hormonal changes and ready to stop apologizing for existing.

[Olivia Downey · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’ve been sick lately, and sitting down and listening to this was very cathartic.

The lists of the things we do not care about are so fun - just like the videos the author is known for. Hearing her read the book brought a lot of humor to it in my opinion, so I’d recommend the audiobook.

This gives some empathetic, albeit vague, insight into perimenopause, menopause and general womanly body processes. It also emphasizes the very real and disheartening shortcomings in the medical field regarding knowledge of the processes women go through and the nuances of it.

I enjoyed the chapters about random hard-ass women achieving greatness later in life. I also liked the lowkey flex of chapters starting with quotes from women like “Stevie N” or “Shania T.”

I think this book is fun and definitely makes you feel that you’re not alone. It lacks a bit of substance and depth, relying on anecdotes and quick-paced self-help suggestions to fly by, but if you’re in the mood for a quick, low-stakes read about women getting older, go for it.

[Mandy Peterson · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a member of the perimenopause community, I loved this book. It captures exactly how I’m feeling in this stage of life: the gradual shedding of the desire to care about things that no longer deserve my energy. The We Do Not Care Club Handbook feels like a warm, funny, validating group chat in book form. What I appreciated most is the sense of camaraderie. This book invites you to laugh, commiserate, and recognize yourself in other people’s experiences.

It was also fun to see familiar TikTok voices contributing pieces. Knowing some of these writers from social media made the book feel current and communal, like a snapshot of what this moment feels like for so many people right now.

If you’re looking for something that will make you laugh, help you better understand what your body is going through, and remind you that you are not alone in this weird, wild, and sometimes frustrating transition, this book is absolutely worth picking up.

[Queen B · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to William Morrow for the gifted book.

The older I get, the more I get confused by my own body. The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook is a lighthearted book about peri, current, and post-menopause and filled with personal experiences about what all women may go through.

I enjoyed the personal vignettes, although I could have done with the word ‘coochie’ a lot less. But the first hand stories really resonated with me and made me feel like I was one of many and not alone in my bodily worries.

This is best read in physical form, as it includes lots of parts where you can write in your own experiences, which I think makes it an even more fulfilling read. Overall, this was fun and enjoyable and made me a little less scared for the future in my own body.

[Sariina Kalli · Rating 5 out of 5]

Melani is a rock star. From the first WDNC Club video I caught on Facebook, to the People Magazine article, to the two days spent reading this handbook (I could have finished it in one sitting if I didn't have to go to work.), it's been an amazing ride.

Best parts of the handbook:
Lists of things we don't care much about anymore (I can't pick a favorite edition.).
Lists of Honorary WDNC Members Throughout History: What better way to empower women than by reminding us what those before us have accomplished.
Tidbits on Melani's personal journey.

The reason it's a 4.5/5:
The membership card, patches, excuse cards, and Pause Points Score Chart are all fun additions to the handbook, but I won't use them because I NEED TO PASS THIS BOOK ON TO EVERYONE I KNOW!

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Synopsis: Melani Sanders started a movement called the “We Do Not Care club” after posting about her new found opinions during perimenopause. This book highlights that you are enough, not alone and how to cope with the changes during perimenopause.

Thoughts: I’ve followed Melani on Instagram for awhile and she is hilarious. I always find myself in agreement of most of the topics on her WDNC agenda. I did think this book would be better off read as a physical book vs and e-book, as there are places to write your own notes, cut out badges and lists etc.

Thank you to Melani Sanders, HarperCollins and NetGalley for the advanced e-book copy!

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found Melani's videos and have been cracking up about all the things We Do Not Care About anymore and was excited to see that she wrote a book. My favorite parts are really the lists of things We Do Not Care About but it was also fun to read about Melani's journey through perimenopause and other people's comments & stories. Hopefully all upcoming generations will know about what to expect far in advance instead of having women's experiences shushed away.

Thank you to the Publisher & NetGalley & the WDNCCs around the world.

[Ronnica Fatt · Rating 2 out of 5]

As someone going through perimenopause and realizing how little we know or talk about this roller coaster time, I wanted to like this. I was wanting to hear more from women who have been here, than be told what to do. This book is very “self-help” which was not what I was looking for. It also felt it came from a privileged place (for example “she-shed” is used repeatedly, both literally and figuratively).

Thank you Harper Collins for the copy for review.

[Scott Lovelace · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the official handbook for the hugely entertaining TikTok sensation “We Don Not Care Club”. Filled with submissions from around the world, this will leave you laughing out loud. The We Do Not Care Club was formed to provide a place for menopausal and perimenopausal women to vent about things they no longer worry over. This will hopefully brighten your day with the insightful and informative contributions from women that no longer care.

[Becca · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a fun and lighthearted resource for women going through any stage of menopause. I loved the history sections throughout the book, and the practical ways to apply the lessons throughout.

If you follow her on social media, a good chunk of this book is somewhat repetitive, but it is still relevant and entertaining for any woman... regardless of prior knowledge.

[Andrea · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found The We Do Not Care Club a few days after Melani Sanders’ viral video. Immediate fan. Her videos are frequently shared between my best friend and I. I knew I needed to read this book. The information on the historical women was great! If you follow Sanders’ videos a lot of this will be repetitive. 

Thank you, Harvest and NetGalley. #TheOfficialWeDoNotCareClubHandbook #NetGalley.

[lynda kosnik · Rating 5 out of 5]

Melanie is just the BEST!!

Melanie has taken such a neglected topic and turned it into a movement. She does this with humor, sincerity and fun! She has been saying what we all think and she is truly a great entertainer. All women need to read this!

[Wendi Flint Rank (WendiReviews) · Rating 5 out of 5]

https://www.netgalley.com/book/752814...

[Andi Argo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Anyone experiencing perimenopause or menopause should read this book and know you are not alone and you are not crazy.

[Kathi A · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious ! And real !!

[Kim Davis · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's ok, but I prefer her videos.

[Whitney Pieren · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was such a fun read! I'm a fan of Melani on Instagram and YouTube, and her handbook did not disappoint. It was as funny and honest as her videos are. It was even informative, so bonus points for that!
We do not care if you are in perimenipause, or menipause. We do not care if you are even a woman. Read this. It will help you to feel better about yourself or to better understand the struggles of those around you.
Thank you to NetGalley & William Morrow for providing an ARC in exchange for my honest opinion and review. Thank you to Melani Sanders for always making us laugh.
This title releases on January 13, 2025. Don't miss it.
This concludes my review of The Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook. (IYKYK)