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Don't get Blood in my House

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Four killers meet at a dinner party, but what do they find? Friends? Murder?! LOVE?! This horror-themed romantic comedy reveals relatable killers with loveable quirks whose amusing banter is playful and thought-provoking. Tackling issues like gender identity, discrimination, and feminism, each peek into their minds will show why killers are people too. Delightfully absurd and unfiltered personalities shine bright in this dark and heartfelt story about life, its struggles, and making the best of a spooky night. So what's stopping you? Four killers? I'm sure they're delightfully pleasant people, you might even fall in love. Just don't fall six feet under.

284 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 16, 2025

4 people are currently reading
30 people want to read

About the author

Matthew King

1 book4 followers

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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
Profile Image for Sophie Leigh.
432 reviews26 followers
December 22, 2025
this book is full of surprises and chaos and I loved it!

A fun crazy story that you'll want to devour in it's entirety ✨🙏
Profile Image for Jim X Dodge.
125 reviews4 followers
September 14, 2025
If you're looking for something weird, woolly, and wonderful to read, this is a book you definitely need to get a hold of. It's vivid, frenetic, and so full of surprises your head will spin. It would be difficult not to spoil anything so I'll just say, Don’t Get Blood In My House is one of the most deranged things I've ever read and I loved it. For fans of Edward Lee and Joe R. Lansdale. -Jim X Dodge, author of The Bite and Erogenous Jones: Private Dicktective
Profile Image for Ian Welke.
Author 26 books82 followers
September 2, 2025
wickedly fun

Wonderfully sick and twisted, a wickedly fun start to Halloween season. The present tense is well utilized making for a rapid paced highly enjoyable read.
Profile Image for Lou Hughes.
667 reviews8 followers
November 1, 2025
Youtube video live: https://youtu.be/03O49FPHfy0?si=E5ezm...

Disclaimer : The author has given me a free ebook of this, and I'm a little unsure how to phrase this, but I know there is definitely an audience out there for this book: It's just not me.

I love the description of the book, I also love the artwork, and how diverse and colourful the cast of this book are; however this reads like an extremely old book and quite simply isn't my niche.

If you like vintage stories, old stereotypes, dodgy humour sprinkled in with magic, murder and old timey vibes, then this is definitely a book for you. Its quirky, full of innuendos that made no sense to me as an asexual reader (please take this in mind) but also you know pub talk? The way men in pubs talk to each other over a pint? If I were to describe this book, that is the very essence.

Now you may be wondering, Arimi, why haven't you rated this book?

I personally think it is unfair to rate a book by an indie author- when I can not differentiate between my own trauma and the language within this book. I promised a youtube review, and will be looking into the niche that this book is for, I also have recommended this book to three of my mates who I know would absolutely devour this book (in real life, not booktubers.)

Whilst this is also not my type of book. Those three mates are also getting a physical copy of this book for them to read when I return to work because I just know this is a book that 1) is their niche 2) their humour 3) this book also reminded me of genshin impact and hazbin hotel combined. I loved that about it. I think fans of hazbin hotel will definitely devour this book whole.

Again this is an impressive book for a debut novel, even more impressive that Matthew has done his own artwork. I just cannot distinguish between some very dark traumas I don't talk about, and the language which is basically used for the whole plot.

Do you like pulp fiction? Do you like corny horror? Do you love queer representation in media? Have you ever wanted to read a modern book which is reminiscent of pulp fiction? This is a recent release, which tips all of those boxes, and without a doubt, ebook or paperback, you should get this book. I know on goodreads that there are some followers who also keep an eye out for the rare occasion I stumble upon books like this.

I hope I can do the community this book would be suitable for justice, and review it in a way that helps the people who would love this book, find it. As usual: I absolutely love being able to support indie authors.

I love Dusty and Custards characters. Doom Cop was whacky and weird. The demons and magic system was something I struggled to wrap my head around, but the way that it was wrote was absolutely reminiscent of older books. Lets get this book to the right audience! And if you think that audeince is you, then don't stop yourself from getting it. I wouldn't be buying copies of this book for my mates if I didn't truly believe that this is a book that they would enjoy. Any book you purchase is an investment.

And I believe buying this book for my mates who would enjoy it; is the best of investments I can make.

I did not finish at chapter 4.

Another disclaimer: I would absolutely read from this author again, especially considering that his book tailors into the niche a few of my mates who hate reading love. Finding brand new books like this is a god send especially as finding this sort of book in modern print is rare, this sort of book I can remember cataloguing during my time as a bookkeeper for a charity, cataloguing long forgotten pulp fiction books. Where I live, we rarely get our hands on books like that. So it is brilliant to see new authors emerging with books like this, because for my area at least, that is the only way we can get books like this.
Profile Image for Horror Reads.
912 reviews323 followers
September 25, 2025
This novel is a crazy, wild, and funny ride into the world of killers, witches, a half wolf/man, the grim reaper as you've never seen him before and some fantastically weird settings.

Yeah, it also has a romantic angle or two but those relationships are just as bonkers as the rest of the narrative. Six killers are invited to dinner at a manor. They must each bring a victim to hunt and the winner gets a magical gift. But things are going to go off the rails as both killers and would be victims begin to kill each other. Then things are going to take an even more bizarre turn as the survivers realign their relationships and have to work together before the big baddie shows up with the reaper in tow to even the supernatural playing field.

Everything you see on the cover is included in the book and there's much more awaiting. It's wild, unpredictable, bloody, and a whole lot of fun and I highly recommend it.
Profile Image for Hazel Baumgartner.
Author 2 books3 followers
September 14, 2025
I was already hooked by the premise, but this book took my expectations and spun them around. King's character design shines through on every page, with each character really deserving their own book in and of themselves. About halfway through, the book absolutely jumps the shark but in the best way possible. Unapologetically silly, very loudly queer, and still manages to take itself just seriously enough to get you seriously invested by the end. Fans of the slasher genre, Terry Pratchett's Witches subseries, and/or Hazbin Hotel will really enjoy this.
Profile Image for Ann Birdgenaw.
Author 9 books120 followers
October 10, 2025
Great cover artwork by the author! Quirky and fantastically weird. Are you ready for something different? Read this one for a perfect October chill-fest. Witches and other supernatural beings make this a fantasy/horror.
Profile Image for Matthew King.
Author 1 book4 followers
October 22, 2025
It surprised me till end and those surprises are much more meaningful as the writer. I can only imagine that if the book kept me wondering and entertained, that it'll be that much more exciting for new readers as well. I really hope you enjoy it, I did.
3 reviews
September 25, 2025
It's like if Clue and Jumanji had a baby with Battle Royale.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews

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