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Doodle Me: A laughably spicy novella
She catches my eye immediately, and I must have her, in the most depraved way possible…
She may be the artist, but I’m the one who wants to doodle her.
Doodle Me is as spicy as it is cringy, with all your least favorite terminologies.
So, slap awake your love rocket and prepare to have your flaps quiver in anticipation like an unmanned parachute—Doodle Me is laughably erotic.
“It just keeps getting worse!” – Me, writing this through tears of laughter.
She may be the artist, but I’m the one who wants to doodle her.
Doodle Me is as spicy as it is cringy, with all your least favorite terminologies.
So, slap awake your love rocket and prepare to have your flaps quiver in anticipation like an unmanned parachute—Doodle Me is laughably erotic.
“It just keeps getting worse!” – Me, writing this through tears of laughter.
99 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 1, 2025
1 person is currently reading
9 people want to read
About the author
Eva Everhard
2 books3 followersEva Everhard is a sarcastic, slightly unhinged, Aussie author who cackles manically over her latest and greatest piece of literature, chock full of cringeworthy slang that will make you laugh or vomit.
Maybe a little of both at the same time.
Her books are so spicy you’ll wonder what took you so long to read them, while also questioning every decision you’ve made that led you to this moment.
Eva’s mind is bursting with doodles, and she can’t wait to unleash her new goal on her readers—become more unhinged.
To the English Teacher who said my stories were too dramatic—look at me now!
Maybe a little of both at the same time.
Her books are so spicy you’ll wonder what took you so long to read them, while also questioning every decision you’ve made that led you to this moment.
Eva’s mind is bursting with doodles, and she can’t wait to unleash her new goal on her readers—become more unhinged.
To the English Teacher who said my stories were too dramatic—look at me now!
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
August 23, 2025
✨ARC REVIEW – Doodle Me by Eva Everhard✨
I cracked this ARC open, sipped my Coke, and line one hit me with: “whore”—I spat my drink. Instant chokehold. What a way to start a book.
By paragraph two I was gone: “my dark brows drew together forming one thick caterpillar above my eyes, the sexiest caterpillar you could imagine.”
Excuse me??? Sexiest. Caterpillar. Alive. 🪱 My brain short-circuited.
And then—custard launcher.
I have read a lot of books, seen a lot of questionable appendage nicknames, but never in my life have I seen a peen called a custard launcher. Naturally, I ran straight to Micheal and began live-reading to him (because sharing is caring, right?). The poor Irish man now needs therapy.
Then the pièce de résistance:
“I’m going to make you so wet when I f you. It sounds like I’m fisting a jar of mayonnaise.”*
…….at this point I was only 50% through. Micheal was actively begging me to stop… on his knees praying..
And yet I kept going.
Because then we got to the title moment’ DOODLE ME’ where the MMC decides a paintbrush belongs in…places. Someone send help… Micheal’s had a heart attack at this 🤣
Every single body part had a different name. No two repeated. Like the author spun a bogan thesaurus and rolled with it. It was chaos. It was trauma. It was genius??? 😟
Honestly, this is hands down the cringiest Aussie bogan slang-filled book I have ever read.
Did I laugh? Yes. Was it out of horror? Also yes. Do I know if I loved or hated this? Absolutely not. All I know is my household will never recover.
I cracked this ARC open, sipped my Coke, and line one hit me with: “whore”—I spat my drink. Instant chokehold. What a way to start a book.
By paragraph two I was gone: “my dark brows drew together forming one thick caterpillar above my eyes, the sexiest caterpillar you could imagine.”
Excuse me??? Sexiest. Caterpillar. Alive. 🪱 My brain short-circuited.
And then—custard launcher.
I have read a lot of books, seen a lot of questionable appendage nicknames, but never in my life have I seen a peen called a custard launcher. Naturally, I ran straight to Micheal and began live-reading to him (because sharing is caring, right?). The poor Irish man now needs therapy.
Then the pièce de résistance:
“I’m going to make you so wet when I f you. It sounds like I’m fisting a jar of mayonnaise.”*
…….at this point I was only 50% through. Micheal was actively begging me to stop… on his knees praying..
And yet I kept going.
Because then we got to the title moment’ DOODLE ME’ where the MMC decides a paintbrush belongs in…places. Someone send help… Micheal’s had a heart attack at this 🤣
Every single body part had a different name. No two repeated. Like the author spun a bogan thesaurus and rolled with it. It was chaos. It was trauma. It was genius??? 😟
Honestly, this is hands down the cringiest Aussie bogan slang-filled book I have ever read.
Did I laugh? Yes. Was it out of horror? Also yes. Do I know if I loved or hated this? Absolutely not. All I know is my household will never recover.
August 20, 2025
I don’t even know where to begin with Doodle Me by Eva Everhard. Five stars, not because it’s the greatest piece of literature ever written, but because I could not stop laughing from start to finish. The terminology in this book is simultaneously some of the best and worst I’ve ever come across; so bad it loops right back around to genius.
I was absolutely cackling. Honestly, do yourself a favour and just read it. You’ll either question every life choice that led you here, or you’ll be crying with laughter like I was (possibly both).
Hats off to you Eve 👏🏼😂
I was absolutely cackling. Honestly, do yourself a favour and just read it. You’ll either question every life choice that led you here, or you’ll be crying with laughter like I was (possibly both).
Hats off to you Eve 👏🏼😂
August 31, 2025
✨️Arc Review✨️
This was exactly as I imagine it would be 🤣 equally as hilarious as it was cringy. I am glad I knew what I was about to read before going in or I would of dnf'd but it was a quick fun little read.
This was exactly as I imagine it would be 🤣 equally as hilarious as it was cringy. I am glad I knew what I was about to read before going in or I would of dnf'd but it was a quick fun little read.
August 20, 2025
I had the pleasure of reading an ARC of this masterpiece, and I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard at a book. I was crying! The terminology used had me cackling. I had so much fun - 5 stars ✨
August 27, 2025
5⭐ 3🌶️
Nick is very comfortable in life and when bartender Aurora catches his eye he decides he must have her, he must doodle her.
If you're looking for a plot then turn away.
If you're looking for spice scenes that get you in the mood, then honestly this also isn't the book for you.
However if your looking for a quick read that will lift you out of the darkest of moods then this book is perfect.
I was cringing, sighing (as in the sort of sigh you give a toddler after they ask the same question for the 100th time), giggling and forcing my partner to hear some of my favourite lines too (even he was giggling).
So prepare your disco stick for some standup comedy and have your curtains quivering as you laugh.
This book had almost every 'bad' euphemism for sexual organs/actions plus every overused line from spice scenes and the fact the characters didn't bat an eye made it so much better.
I loved this and will read it again if I ever need a good giggle and pick me up.
Nick is very comfortable in life and when bartender Aurora catches his eye he decides he must have her, he must doodle her.
If you're looking for a plot then turn away.
If you're looking for spice scenes that get you in the mood, then honestly this also isn't the book for you.
However if your looking for a quick read that will lift you out of the darkest of moods then this book is perfect.
I was cringing, sighing (as in the sort of sigh you give a toddler after they ask the same question for the 100th time), giggling and forcing my partner to hear some of my favourite lines too (even he was giggling).
So prepare your disco stick for some standup comedy and have your curtains quivering as you laugh.
This book had almost every 'bad' euphemism for sexual organs/actions plus every overused line from spice scenes and the fact the characters didn't bat an eye made it so much better.
I loved this and will read it again if I ever need a good giggle and pick me up.
November 12, 2025
There are not enough words that could accurately describe how wonderfully written this book is.
It's hilarious..
It's spicy.
It's cringey.
It's everything you need to get out of your head and have a good ol' belly laugh.
And belly laugh I did. I laughed so hard reading this book that I am convinced I pulled muscles in my entire body that I never knew existed. There may have been some giggle-snorts in the mix, but there was definitely a lot of silent, can't breathe laughs that had tears rolling down my face. My dogs gave me stunned, worried looks the entire time, even moving away from me to sit on the other side of the room, and I'm not sure they have recovered. I was exhausted by the end of it and I know for a fact that the smile did not leave my face from the get-go.
This is the novella that we didn't know we needed, and I'm here for more.
5 Doodling Stars
It's hilarious..
It's spicy.
It's cringey.
It's everything you need to get out of your head and have a good ol' belly laugh.
And belly laugh I did. I laughed so hard reading this book that I am convinced I pulled muscles in my entire body that I never knew existed. There may have been some giggle-snorts in the mix, but there was definitely a lot of silent, can't breathe laughs that had tears rolling down my face. My dogs gave me stunned, worried looks the entire time, even moving away from me to sit on the other side of the room, and I'm not sure they have recovered. I was exhausted by the end of it and I know for a fact that the smile did not leave my face from the get-go.
This is the novella that we didn't know we needed, and I'm here for more.
5 Doodling Stars
August 27, 2025
✨ARC REVIEW✨
What did I just read?! 🤣
Referring to his eyebrows as the sexiest caterpillar you could imagine and describing the sounds her .. you know .. makes as like fisting a jar of mayonnaise. Also the amount of different names used for their parts .. I could not stop laughing!
You're warned from the beginning that "Doodle Me is as spicy as it is cringy" and the dedication simply states "Sorry, not sorry"! 🤣 I love that the author had so much fun writing this and is not sorry in the slightest for using the most cringe worthy terms I've ever heard!
Was this an award winning story? No. But was I laughing and having a good time. Yes!!
What did I just read?! 🤣
Referring to his eyebrows as the sexiest caterpillar you could imagine and describing the sounds her .. you know .. makes as like fisting a jar of mayonnaise. Also the amount of different names used for their parts .. I could not stop laughing!
You're warned from the beginning that "Doodle Me is as spicy as it is cringy" and the dedication simply states "Sorry, not sorry"! 🤣 I love that the author had so much fun writing this and is not sorry in the slightest for using the most cringe worthy terms I've ever heard!
Was this an award winning story? No. But was I laughing and having a good time. Yes!!
August 30, 2025
2025:
Reading this book was an unforgettable experience.
I laughed and cringed in equal measure.
I now have a catalogue of new terms that as much as I wish they would, won't leave my brain.
"Clam of ecstasy."
"Chocolate starfish."
If you're looking for something that will absolutely cleanese your palette whilst also make you feel like you need to shower off the ick, this is the perfect book for that!
If Ms. Everhard decides to create a collection of flabbergasting novellas, I just know my curiosity will get the better of me - probably against my better judgement - but at least I'll likely learn a term or two.
Reading this book was an unforgettable experience.
I laughed and cringed in equal measure.
I now have a catalogue of new terms that as much as I wish they would, won't leave my brain.
"Clam of ecstasy."
"Chocolate starfish."
If you're looking for something that will absolutely cleanese your palette whilst also make you feel like you need to shower off the ick, this is the perfect book for that!
If Ms. Everhard decides to create a collection of flabbergasting novellas, I just know my curiosity will get the better of me - probably against my better judgement - but at least I'll likely learn a term or two.
October 12, 2025
The idea of this book is to take it for what it is, a satire using every cringeworthy and laughable synonym possible for parts of the male and female anatomy . The story follows a male high roller, and a female bartender, who enjoy nothing better than banging each other, as well as exchanging sexually fuelled banter that is as hilarious as it is awkward.
Eva is a genius for turning this into a most riotous ride, pun intended, and I look forward to more of these short stories.
5 moists out of 5 moists
Eva is a genius for turning this into a most riotous ride, pun intended, and I look forward to more of these short stories.
5 moists out of 5 moists
January 23, 2026
A great time with tears of laughter!
This book was a good vibe and a great time! Grab a glass of wine (if you're old enough) and have fun! I was an absolute menace and shared all the unhinged lines with my partner...he was not impressed. This book had me laughing and cringing out loud. Still, the actual romance of it had me going "aaw" with full on heart eyes. 100% recommend if you are in a slump or just need something a little less serious.
This book was a good vibe and a great time! Grab a glass of wine (if you're old enough) and have fun! I was an absolute menace and shared all the unhinged lines with my partner...he was not impressed. This book had me laughing and cringing out loud. Still, the actual romance of it had me going "aaw" with full on heart eyes. 100% recommend if you are in a slump or just need something a little less serious.
August 22, 2025
I honestly don't think I've laughed so hard reading a book in a long time. I love that it owns that it's cringey and is proud of it's use of awful terminologies.
I was sitting there cackling loudly peering through my fingers reading this book.
P.S. I have to suggest ding-a-ling be used should a sequel be written!
I was sitting there cackling loudly peering through my fingers reading this book.
P.S. I have to suggest ding-a-ling be used should a sequel be written!
August 28, 2025
This was great🤣
And not for its story line, but for allll those terrible horrible puns and names🤣 not to mention the descriptions
Eva did amazing with this - what a way to spin out a quick spicy novella - one that will have you cringing and cackling in all the best ways!
Thank you for my morning laugh - I needed that!
Highly recommend 🤣😈
And not for its story line, but for allll those terrible horrible puns and names🤣 not to mention the descriptions
Eva did amazing with this - what a way to spin out a quick spicy novella - one that will have you cringing and cackling in all the best ways!
Thank you for my morning laugh - I needed that!
Highly recommend 🤣😈
September 8, 2025
Warning!!! If you are triggered by certain cringe words do not read this book! If moist, baby gravy, and juicy nectar are not okay, then turn away! However, if you want to read something short, purely smutty, and humorous then you are in the right place. Nick keeps going out with the wrong women. They only want to use him for his looks and his money. After going to a bar with a woman who turns out to be a gold digger he starts vibing with the bartender. They find that they have insane chemistry and the rest is history. There may also be creative uses with some art supplies. You will definitely pick up some new words and phrases to share. So grab a drink, sit back, relax, and enjoy a light hearted, smutty, creative novella.
September 27, 2025
I dropped my kindle to my lap and wondered to myself, "What in the actual f*ck did I just read?" Then proceeded to burst out in laughter.
genius! this book is so cringe worthy. It's an absolute masterpiece!
“My peepee is so hard for you.” - this quote sent me gasping for air!
a hilariously spicy novella and well worth the read!
genius! this book is so cringe worthy. It's an absolute masterpiece!
“My peepee is so hard for you.” - this quote sent me gasping for air!
a hilariously spicy novella and well worth the read!
August 21, 2025
HAHAHAHA this book is so damn funny 😂😂
Go nick for being so direct and territorial. I haven’t cringed but laughed so hard at a book in a long time.
If you’re looking for a funny smutty read, this is the one
Go nick for being so direct and territorial. I haven’t cringed but laughed so hard at a book in a long time.
If you’re looking for a funny smutty read, this is the one
August 25, 2025
I have never laughed so damn hard.
my husband, who doesn't read, ended up reading this whole thing with me because he enjoyed it so much.
If you have ever read a line in a spicey book and cringed , this book is for you.
my husband, who doesn't read, ended up reading this whole thing with me because he enjoyed it so much.
If you have ever read a line in a spicey book and cringed , this book is for you.
August 25, 2025
I have never laughed so damn hard.
my husband, who doesn't read, ended up reading this whole thing with me because he enjoyed it so much.
If you have ever read a line in a spicey book and cringed , this book is for you.
my husband, who doesn't read, ended up reading this whole thing with me because he enjoyed it so much.
If you have ever read a line in a spicey book and cringed , this book is for you.
August 27, 2025
This book was exactly as promised, so cringy its funny. If I didn't know what I was walking into I might have disliked what I was reading but knowing it was written to be funny and cringy... let me allow the "that's what she said" version of me out to read and yes I laughed a lot.
September 1, 2025
I love that this author just went for it and didn't take it too seriously. The amount of terminology surprised me, I didn't even know we had that many! The downside was that this guy reminds me of an ex haha douchy as hell!
Nice Job!
Nice Job!
November 3, 2025
Everyone should give this book a chance. Its a highly entertaining, hilarious short read. Ive never giggled so hard at a book my whole life. If like you like body parts called hilarious things this book is for you!
December 30, 2025
This was too much fun. The moment you get yourself on Everhard's frequency, there's no going back. Laughs galore in all the right ways for those who don't want to take the genre too seriously. encore!
September 20, 2025
Well…. That was the most unhinged and cringe smut I’ve ever read… and it was absolutely freaking HILARIOUS! What have I got myself into that I want to read more 🤣
September 20, 2025
Absolutely hysterical!! Next time I swear I need to read this while listening to Weird Al's Bad names for Genitalia song....just to check off how many are in the book! 🤣
November 5, 2025
So spicy and unbelievably cringey, I couldn't stop laughing! 🤣🤣🤣
November 24, 2025
This is not the greatest book but the fact it had me fucking laughing throughout the whole thing, saying ew, and what the fuck warrants 5 stars from me LMAO
September 3, 2025
So you know those Tik-Toks that have the spray bottle ready for the terminology used in smutty scenes? think that... but an entire book, filled with them specifically to make you laugh. This is honestly the FUNNIEST book I have ever read. thank you EVA, this is just the smut i needed in my life. 44 pages of pure tears of laughter. PSA- do not try and read this in public HAHAHAH
September 3, 2025
What did I just read?????
I don't think I have ever laughed so hard reading a book.
Tears. There were literal tears!
A short, fast paced NSFW read with laugh out loud comedy and the most amazing one liners I have seen in a long time!
I don't think I have ever laughed so hard reading a book.
Tears. There were literal tears!
A short, fast paced NSFW read with laugh out loud comedy and the most amazing one liners I have seen in a long time!
October 9, 2025
A quick read full of spice and laughter, i promise you will be giggling to yourself.
Who doesn't love when the wealthy one does all the chasing
You will cringe at some of the lines in this book, but in a good way
Who doesn't love when the wealthy one does all the chasing
You will cringe at some of the lines in this book, but in a good way
December 27, 2025
What in the ever loving erotica comedy did i just read?
This is one of the funniest things Inhave read, it’s basically erotic comedy. Remember puppetry of the … p3n1s? Yeah, that’s the vibe, and I loved it!
This is one of the funniest things Inhave read, it’s basically erotic comedy. Remember puppetry of the … p3n1s? Yeah, that’s the vibe, and I loved it!
January 1, 2026
✨✨ARC REVIEW – Doodle Me by Eva Everhard✨✨
WHAT IN THE BABY GRAVY?!
WHAT IN THE BABY GRAVY?!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews