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464 pages, Hardcover
Published November 3, 2025





The big black dog nuzzled up to him, as if he could smell his companion's heartbreak. He nudged Gu Mang with his warm head and whined as he licked his cheek.
Gu Mang hugged the dog and whispered, "You don't think I'm dirty. Right?"

Gu Mang nuzzled Fandou's damp little nose. "I can bear it. Even if it hurts a little. It's fine."
Fandou barked again.
Gu Mang pressed a hand to his chest and whimpered, "It's fine. It only hurts a little, I can handle it... I can..."
It won't hurt anymore once I'm used to it.
If I endure it, it'll pass... all of this will pass.
"I... I hurt you before?"
Mo Xi leaned in close and whispered right into his ear: "You nearly killed me."
Just because, back then, I loved you more than I feared death.
What am I? Who am I to you? Once, you abandoned me for your brothers. Discarded me for your ideals. Pushed me into the depths of hell for your comrades. It's been seven years. I've lingered in this hell, living a life worse than death, for seven years.
On one side lay the nation's hatred, on the other his deepest debt. Why? Why was it the same man who had given him both the greatest agony and the greatest love?

I, Gu Mang, am a slave, and this is the first opportunity I've had to prove myself like this. I'm not afraid of death. I just want Chonghua to see - for His Imperial Majesty to see - for all of you to see... that though I'm a lowly slave, I'm the same as you. I have the same passionate devotion, the same life-or-death loyalty.
"You're the second person on earth to say I'm good."
"Who's the first?"
Mo Xi gazed at him. "Also you."
Gu Mang was stunned. "There's two of me?"
A pause. "That's not what I meant. Forget it - telling you is a waste of time anyway."
Gu Mang's shock dissipated. "Then you should go ask some other people. Many of them will also tell you you're good."

"Princess." Gu Mang murmured, and then said, inexplicably, "Can I have your name on the back of the plaque?"
"Because I seem to be a good person?"
He didn't expect Gu Mang to shake his head. "No," he said. "Because I think... I really do know you."
He sighed, almost sorrowfully, and took hold of Gu Mang's hand. Pulling it to his lips, he kissed it softly. "Shixiong... I dreamed of you again... Only in dreams would you keep from angering me. Only in dreams would you be like this, behaving and staying by my side..."
Those soft, cool lips brushed against the back of Gu Mang's hand. Mo Xi bowed his head as if choked up.

Why did it hurt so much? Just yesterday, this person had struck him, chased him off, and called him dirty. But he felt that something wasn't right, that they didn't actually feel this way. The two of them... shouldn't... shouldn't be like this...
Gu Mang hesitated. "I dreamed of you," he whispered.
Mo Xi blinked in surprise, then raised his head.

He suddenly leaned down and kissed him. Like a parched man, he captured Gu Mang's lips almost violently, forcibly licking into his mouth.
The kiss was frankly too intense - the sound of it was soft and sticky, and it etwined with the sounds of Gu Mang panting and struggling. The noises Gu Mang made seemed to hit Mo Xi like an aphrodisiac.

"Mo Xi, you're... being ridiculous..."
Mo Xi's throat bobbed as he reached out to untie Gu Mang's sash. "Mm-hmm," he said softly. "Ridiculous is what shixiong knows best." His eyes were terrifyingly dark as he raked over the sight of Gu Mang beneath him, skin flushed and burning with desire.
Finally, he bent down and murmured, "Teach me, shixiong."


5 'I need them happy and together so much' stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
4 'Gu Mang deserves the world' stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐
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tbr“I…I hurt you before?” Mo Xi leaned in close and whispered right into his ear: “You nearly killed me.” Just because, back then, I loved you more than I feared death.