Only Ever One Choice

by Ilham Asra

'In the choice between love or family, is it possible to have both? A sweet coming-out lesbian romance about the journey navigating culture and expectations to finding self-acceptance.

At a crossroads in her life, Mikaila Mohamed has made a list: all the girls from her past she needs to have a very important conversation with. She’s been saving the hardest one for last: Ashleigh von Bronckhorst, her old high school roommate.
Coming from a close-knit, conservative Muslim family in South Africa means Mikaila hasn’t dared dwell too much on her complicated feelings for Ashleigh. Meeting her now, though, when Mikaila’s on the brink of freedom, could change everything.

What will it be like being around Ashleigh again? Supported by her mosaic of misfit friends who seem so ready to take on the world with her, can Mikaila finally make a choice?

Sometimes a leap into the unknown is all it takes.'

Genres: Lesbian, LGBT, Contemporary, Lesbian Fiction, Lesbian Romance, Friends To Lovers

247 pages, Paperback

Published August 20, 2025

Reviews

[Juniper L.H. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this. Solid novel. Forewarning that there were some times where I felt like the novel dragged a bit or had some weak points, but I’m still giving it 5-stars and saying that I would recommend it. I felt like there was a lot packed into the pages in terms of plot and characters; a great value for the page count. This felt like a page-turner yet it also felt like it took forever to read, which was a strange experience.

Rating: A-/5 Stars

Highlights:
-Realism: the characters and their relationships felt more “real” than most of the novels I read. They were flawed, but in a way that wasn’t too over the top or underwhelming, just realistically and relatable. There was jealousy and hurt feelings, but nothing that was convoluted or forced or randomly taking 100-pages to resolve. I have personally never delt with the sorts of issues the protagonist faced (mostly; grad school UGH) but I still found them to be relatable in a lot of ways.
-The communication: it wasn’t perfect, but once again it felt realistic. There was so much EFFECTIVE communication as they worked through their issues and it was a delight to see.
-Big emotions. Highs and lows, there was a lot of joy yet also a lot of melancholy and sadness. The ending of this novel is satisfying and a HEA, but also bittersweet.
-Second Chance Romance done RIGHT. I’m talking big hurts that take a while to hash out and still linger, amazing communication as the characters work through things, old habits, new actions, just awesome. I had zero issues with believability; both their previous issues and their current reconnection.
-Diversity. Sapphic fiction often has some solid diversity, but this novel had some representation that I don’t see as often. I cant think of another novel I have read that took place in South Africa, or where the protagonist struggled with being queer and a Muslim.
-That ending. Honestly I liked it a lot.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing a free ARC. This honest review was left voluntarily.

[Misha · Rating 5 out of 5]

(rounded up from 4.5)

I love reading religious trauma stories but I rarely see ones about a queer muslim woman. As someone born into a muslim household, this was enjoyable to read. Mikaila is a South African woman who had a bunch of intense friendships with her female best friends in her younger days and is opening up communication with three of them, leading up to the girl she was certainly in love with five years ago when they broke each other's hearts and broke off communications completely after their intense friendship.

Mikaila is just working out her queer identity after a serious accident that gave her severe injuries and resulted in her dad passing away. She's struggling hard with her muslim identity, living a deeply closeted life, and preparing to lose her family once she gets up the courage to ever come out, and also thinking about her career/study for the future. Oh, and reconnecting with the most important bestie, Ashleigh, and repairing what was broken between them.

[Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read so many books about the struggle to grow up in US, being gay and growing up in a conservative Christian family that cannot accept this. That struggle is real but also growing up as a Muslim woman in South Africa like Mikaila is equally impossible if you do not follow the standard heteronormative way of living. This was the first book I have read with this view which made the read extra interesting.

Mikaila is 25 years old working on her master’s and is suddenly followed on Instagram by her old friend and first crush Asleigh. Asleigh that told her that they were done being in each other’s live four years ago. Mikaila cannot resist so she sends a DM to Asleigh and realizes she is back in Cape Town so they can meet. Mikaila is finally ready to come out to Asleigh, Asleigh that is the girl that made her realize she was into girls. Mikaila is not out to her family but at least now open with Asleigh, she wants closure after their friendship break-up. Can they start over and make it work this time, perhaps as something more as friends?

Mikaila finally wants to live as authentically as possible, but she also needs to stay hidden. She likes women, especially Asleigh, but is it possible to make this work with her family and religion. Loving a woman openly would mean she loses her family. Before Asleigh never an issue, coming out not really needed but now a choice must be done. Is she prepared to give up her family? This is a sin they never can forgive. Perhaps there has only ever been choice for Mikaila though.

[Carol Hutchinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great story

Mikaila is reconnecting for important conversations with all the girls from her past, when she finally gets to Ashleigh. Her muslim family has been the reason she has held back from dealing with how she feels for Ashleigh but the timing now that Mikaila has a chance to be free could change everything.

I really empthised with all the conflict Mikaila was dealing with. She had so much at stake with her family, her own wellbeing, and her feelings, and her morals made all the decisions quite the challenge. Whatever she did, someone was going to be hurt, disappointed, or suffer, be it her mother, Ashleigh, or herself. Being back around Ashleigh just helped to give Mikaila a perspective she needed and a taste of what life could be like if she chose herself for once. When it all came down to what to do, she showed her strength and I was surprised at the support she received in a strange sort of way from her mother. It was reassuring and gave that little bit of hope but in a less complimentary way than Mikaila had hoped for.

Ashleigh was a lot of fun and I enjoyed getting to meet her character. She really brought Mikaila out of herself. When it really mattered and came down to the possibility she might lose Mikaila, Ashleigh didn’t hesitate in showing up and supporting her in the best way. Ashleigh was just one person in a group of wonderful friends Mikaila had supporting her, but she really helped to elevate and speed up decisions by how she declared she and Mikaila felt the same way about one another.

Just a really great story about complex family situations, where religion, beliefs and traditions are expected to be upheld and the struggles felt when it’s just not the person you are.

[Liz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thanks to NetGalley and Ylva Publishing for the free e-ARC.

Giving this 3 stars. There are some good points, and some bad points, and ended up good but not great for me.

I usually like to start reviews with the good points, but since the first chapter is the worst part of the book, and nearly caused me to DNF, I'll start there. Putting aside the multiple missing-word errors (I read an ARC, not the final copy, so hopefully those get fixed), the main problem is the excessive exposition dumping. As an ADHDer, I get it, I also tend to meander and go on tangents and add too much unnecessary context to my stories. But it shouldn't be done in fiction - especially in a first chapter. I've never seen so many irrelevant details shoved at random into an opening chapter. The focus here should have been on Mikaila and Ashleigh's meeting, and then the details about Mikaila's family and history could have been introduced later, as they became relevant. Writing exposition well is difficult, and it wasn't done well here.

That said, the writing improved after chapter 1. Sure, the sentences were still clunky and almost run-on sometimes, but the errors mostly disappeared, and so did the unnecessary exposition dumping. It's still pretty obviously a debut novel, but it's far from the worst writing I've read. In fact, I read the last 50% or so in one sitting, so it was clearly good enough to keep me going.

I should say, if you're looking for a fluffy queer love story where everyone is accepting and happy at the end, this may not be the book for you. One of the MCs comes from a Muslim family, and she is forced to choose between keeping them in her life and liviing authentically as herself, and it hurts. As an aunt myself, I was particularly affected by Mikaila's grief over potentially never seeing her nephews again. It's an unfortunate reality for so many queer folks, and I appreciate that this book didn't try to just make everything okay. (But if that's a trigger for you, please be careful reading.)

One small thing that I really liked was the dicussion of and respect for boundaries during a sexual encounter. Mikaila has extensive scarring on her torso from a car accident, and at first she isn't comfortable taking off her shirt during sex, and Ashleigh immediately accepts that boundary without argument. It's a great example of respect and love in a sexual relationship, and we need more of that in fiction.

(Also, bonus points for a reference to the book/film "I Can't Think Straight" by Shamim Sarif. That's one of my top comfort movies, so it's delightful to see it mentioned here.)

Overall, this is a decent coming-out/love story, with likeable main characters you'll root for, and a bittersweet ending - you just have to make it past the first chapter.

[Sam]

Usually a book where our main characters are mid twenties don’t really hit the mark for me. The characters are just too young, but it doesn’t feel like that in this book.
This book shows a maturity and a sort of coming of age, more coming into oneself as they are coming out. It’s a story about religion, about being true to yourself, making very difficult choices and love.
Set in South Africa, although it could be anywhere in the world really, it’s a moving story. It’s written well enough for me, and I think it’s one of the better books I’ve read this year.
I could have done with more friend time and possible a view from both love interest perspectives but if that are all my complaints…

Also, I really like the cover of this book, very appealing colours.

[Cindy Stein · Rating 5 out of 5]

Makaila has just handed in her master's thesis and has spoken with and come out to two of the three women she later realized she had loved. The third woman is Ashleigh, who asks to meet in person. Replaying their last meeting years ago, after Makaila comes out, Ashleigh asks if she wants to kiss her and this time she does. This begins the rekindling of their more than friendship relationship. But there are many obstacles, including Makaila's family's expectations, Makaila's Muslim beliefs, Makaila's future plans, and Ashleigh's on hold relationship with her last boyfriend.

This well written book is more than a romance. It is a love story, told in great detail, with most scenes only including these two MCs, but told from Makaila's POV. It's beautifully written and a great portrait of how faith and family present obstacles to coming out publicly and being with the person you love.

One note: the book would have benefitted from an epilogue, especially to resolve some of the plot points regarding Ashleigh.

Highly recommended.

I was provided an ARC by Ylva Publishing via NetGalley.

[Montes · Rating 5 out of 5]

“For the ones who figure it out a little later in life. It is sometimes embarrassing and maybe mortifying, but it is always, always worth it. Everything happens exactly when it’s supposed to, exactly how it’s meant to.”

I’m not someone who usually highlights quotes or parts of the book but with this book I started highlighting at the dedication, literally.

This book is set in Cape Town, South Africa, where Mikaila Mohamed is finishing her master's. She was involved in a terrible accident with her dad and, when she survives, she realizes a few truths about herself. One of them being that she’s queer and that she has had feelings for some girls in the past that shaped her experiences with them. She decides to contact these girls to discuss what she has discovered about herself and her feelings, the hardest for her being her high school roommate Ashleigh von Bronckhorst, whom she hasn’t spoken to in years after they fell out and Ashleigh ended their friendship. They embark on a series of meetings and hang outs that result in deep conversations and accountability. Mikaila has changed and grown a lot since the last time they saw each other, but has she outgrown her feelings?

The storytelling felt sincere and well written. You could feel the inner turmoil, the weight of expectations and family legacy, the novelty of the first queer relationship after coming out and the fear of being a baby gay. I appreciated that, despite the fact that Mikaila hid many things from her biological family, she still had a found family aspect in her friends Cassie and Mbali. The characters felt like they were real, with problems and situations that could arise to anyone. Most, if not all, of the characters and their behavior were relatable to some extent. I could not relate at all to her family but I could understand where they were coming from. There are some intimate scenes that were so carefully and tastefully written. They’re descriptive, reassuring and sensual, like revealing little parts of themselves to each other, it read like gentle devotion.

I enjoyed learning small things about Mikaila’s religion, just enough to allow the story to make sense. It’s really well done in this book, particularly when so many of her reservations are stemmed in her conflict with her sexuality and her faith.

To me, Only Ever One Choice is an absolute masterpiece, it has become my favorite book ever. I giggled, blushed, teared up, sobbed, smiled and laughed, it’s the most fulfilling reading experience I’ve had in recent times. I will blindly purchase any books Ilham Asra ever writes and I’ll definitely purchase Only Ever One Choice to re-read.

Thank you to Ilham Asra, Ylva Publishing and NetGalley for providing me with an eArc of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[M the avid reader · Rating 4 out of 5]

Curiosity kept me turning pages
I'm always up for reading a new (or new to me) author and appreciate stories set outside of the standard handful of geographical locations (cities and countries alike) that permeate lesfic, so this story, set in South Africa was a treat.  Main characters Mikaila and Ashleigh (along with their friends) are in their mid twenties, in that transition period between finishing school and getting on with 'adulting' (getting a job, moving out, getting ready to settle down etc).  Initially I wondered if the book is aimed at young adult/new adult readers based in part on the Mikaila's behaviour but by the end of the book felt that the story would also appeal to adult readers of all ages.  There is drama and some angst, cute moments and humor folded into the long chapters of the book.  I found Mikaila irritating at first, her overthinking and alluding to/circling around an issue without being more direct about it/naming it frustrating until it's finally spelled out for the reader and story characters, but she grew on me over time; Ashleigh grew on me as well so I was rooting for them romantically.  There are some heavy themes that come up one way or another in the story including loss, trauma, scars (emotional and physical), injury, coming out, sexual awakening, family expectations, being true to yourself and survivor' guilt.  There's a fair amount of reiteration when it comes to some details which is helpful if you're reading one chapter daily or less, more noticeable if you binge read multiple chapters per reading session; it's like the way your mind circles around and cycles through some thoughts, bringing them up frequently in real life.  I read the book in two days, the primary driver being curiosity wanting to know how Mikaila and Ashleigh were going to navigate their current circumstances to get to where each of them wanted to be, not knowing which path would be taken.  It's less a 'what if' story and more of a 'is she/are they gonna' take a certain action or not, and how those decisions will change the outcome.  It gets emotional in spots so you may need some tissue handy to catch tears.  I didn't expect the ending to unfold the way it did but was happy with it although I had some questions about things that happened off page that I was curious about; still I liked the story and right away wanted to read more by the author to see what other stories she has to tell be they linked somehow to this story and cast of characters or something entirely separate.  I look forward to reading her future work based on my experience with this book.

[Natalie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to NetGalley for an e-arc of this book! 

This was requested on a bit of a whim, but it did not disappoint! It follows Mikaila, a young Muslim woman, after a near death experience that pushes her to reach out to women from her past — after realising she had feelings for them. It centres on her reunion with Ashleigh, her old school roommate. It starts off a tiny bit slow, in that you're given a lot of explanation/exposition in the first chapter, but by the end of the first chapter you're in the thick of things, and I was super invested.

I have so many good things to say. I loved the entire development of Mikaila and Ashleigh's relationship. They're both such wonderful characters, and their situation feels very real and I found it easy to sympathise. There's a nice surrounding of other characters, like Mikaila's friends Cassie and Mbali, and her and Ashleigh's respective families. Everyone feels three-dimensional, even if they aren't given much page-time.

The only thing I will say is it starts to feel a little slow again about midway through. I think this is partially down to the fact it has quite long chapters (there are only 9 in total). Focus is primarily given to Mikaila and Ashleigh's relationship at this point and the ways they're struggling with it, and the conflict is mostly internal until everything comes to a head in the last chapter. It starts to feel a tiny bit repetitive, but in saying that, the internal conflict around religion and societal and family expectations is very real and so I think it gets away with it. Likewise, I felt a bit disappointed at the end, but because I was so invested and sympathising with the characters rather than because of the story or the writing itself. It is, if nothing else, painfully realistic I imagine.

I'd recommend to anyone who's looking for a more introspective, character/relationship focused queer read. I love Mikaila, and I definitely think I could come back and live with her again for a reread.

[Aaron · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was different in so many ways, but honestly, I think that just made it better? It was my first with a Muslim main character, my first set in South Africa, and kind of a unique second-chance setup. It was almost a toaster oven story, but not quite, as the drama of that discovery is in the rear-view. On the other hand, the consequences are yet to come. Starting with important conversations with several former best friends (and you know what they say about lesbians and their best friends…).

The most important of those, with Ashleigh, turns out to lead someplace completely different than PoV character Mikaila expected, and therein lies the story. They were once best friends, and then almost something more, until it all exploded. That first ending initially seems horrifying, though as the second chance unfolds, it starts to feel more like it was inevitable, perhaps even necessary? And while the events in the story are beautiful, it’s not at all clear that there exists an outcome that will leave everybody happy. It starts to feel like one of those that’s definitely a love story, and maybe not totally a romance?

But, all I will say about the end was… it was satisfying. Sure, an epilogue would have been great. But, I’m actually not unhappy with where the story left things. All in all, I was really impressed, and I really enjoyed this book. I’ll take another, please. :)

[Shannon Luchies · Rating 4 out of 5]

After a near death experience Mikaila Mohamed is getting in touch with people she had crushes on, as she's realized she's queer. The last is Ashleigh, whom she thinks she was a bit in love with.

Turns out she and her are in the same city, and they meet for lunch. Ashleigh takes her coming out well, they go over shared history and Ashleigh teases her over never having been kissed. She volunteers and Mika kisses her, which seems to surprise her.

Mikaila expects that to be it, but Ashleigh keeps after her, and wants to renew their friendship... or possibly more.

(Apparently eight years ago, Ashleigh came on to Mika, but she wasn't ready. Things got awkward, then Ash checked out pretty much.)

The big problem is, Mikaila's a Muslim, and there is no way her family will accept she's gay.

4 out of 5 stars. Really solidly good.

[Rosi · Rating 3 out of 5]

What a pity, I never stop trying to like some story about young adults, or young people discovering their sexuality, or immature young women in general. This isn't a case of them not being mature, but the issue of religiosity also comes into play here. I won't mention which one because they're all the same to me, and I have bad impressions of all of them because of how manipulative they can be.

I really tried, but so much uncertainty and lack of clarity could have been resolved in one chapter. It was a bit of a stretch, really.

It will have its audience and will even be excellent for many other readers, but it hasn't been for me. Although I appreciate the effort.


Ylva Publishing was kind enough to send me a copy via NetGalley for an honest review

[KB · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is just simply amazing. My heart goes out for all the muslim lgbtq+ members out there, who are fighting every day to just live freely and wholeheartedly without risking it.

I recommend this book 100%. Ilham Asra wrote this amazingly and I simply couldn´t stop reading it.