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I Would Die If I Were You: Notes on Art and Truth-Telling
Brilliant, anti-ableist, and with a strongly feminist perspective, these essays grapple with how to cultivate a creative, vibrant, and joyful life without succumbing to the pressures of productivity that run counter to the richness and life-giving, spirit-lifting potential of the creative act
For her entire life, celebrated memoirist Emily Rapp Black has been answering awkward questions in What’s wrong with you? What happened to your body? And, in the case of her son’s terminal illness and death, she’s been told more times than she can “I would die if I were you.”
Black rejects the idea of easy pity. Learning how to reframe some of the most difficult experiences a person can live through, alchemizing pain into truth and meaning, she discovered, is its own kind of terrible beauty. Part of the human project is to experience grief and loss, and nobody gets out alive, and no writer—or person—survives anything alone. We need empathy, and for that we need community, and we need stories told within them.
As someone who writes and teaches books about loss and grief, two very loaded and universal subjects, Black wanted to write a book that would empower readers with “conversation stopping” stories (she lose her leg, her child died, in her case) to tell their stories in a way that can be salvific for those who may have been forced to live a similar story. Based on two decades of teaching a wide range of students with diverse and difficult experiences, I Would Die If I Were You is designed to help creative people approach their “hard’ stories in a way that feels joyful, redemptive, and meaningful.
There’s an old saying that when a character is put under extreme duress or pressure, their true character emerges. Black believes this is the same for people, and that writers who have these often extraordinary experiences needed new strategies to tell the stories, those that liberate them from the “poor sad person with a poor sad story” assumption.
For her entire life, celebrated memoirist Emily Rapp Black has been answering awkward questions in What’s wrong with you? What happened to your body? And, in the case of her son’s terminal illness and death, she’s been told more times than she can “I would die if I were you.”
Black rejects the idea of easy pity. Learning how to reframe some of the most difficult experiences a person can live through, alchemizing pain into truth and meaning, she discovered, is its own kind of terrible beauty. Part of the human project is to experience grief and loss, and nobody gets out alive, and no writer—or person—survives anything alone. We need empathy, and for that we need community, and we need stories told within them.
As someone who writes and teaches books about loss and grief, two very loaded and universal subjects, Black wanted to write a book that would empower readers with “conversation stopping” stories (she lose her leg, her child died, in her case) to tell their stories in a way that can be salvific for those who may have been forced to live a similar story. Based on two decades of teaching a wide range of students with diverse and difficult experiences, I Would Die If I Were You is designed to help creative people approach their “hard’ stories in a way that feels joyful, redemptive, and meaningful.
There’s an old saying that when a character is put under extreme duress or pressure, their true character emerges. Black believes this is the same for people, and that writers who have these often extraordinary experiences needed new strategies to tell the stories, those that liberate them from the “poor sad person with a poor sad story” assumption.
288 pages, Paperback
Published May 19, 2026
About the author
Emily Rapp Black
4 books49 followersAdditional books and editions on Goodreads under the name Emily Rapp.
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
Review of advance copy
I read this on a long flight, many of the essays were compelling enough that I've marked them for review when I sit down to write this week. Just the type of prompts I needed now to reignite my own spark on a memoir I had all but given up on.
This was the third of Emily's books I've read, her narrative is so relatable that I felt I was living moments of her story. Thankfully that while some of the memories are quite painful, her sense of humor and personality engage me, like hearing a dear friend expressing her story. I've enjoyed learning about the author's growth not only as a writer but as a person evolving through her experience.
This was the third of Emily's books I've read, her narrative is so relatable that I felt I was living moments of her story. Thankfully that while some of the memories are quite painful, her sense of humor and personality engage me, like hearing a dear friend expressing her story. I've enjoyed learning about the author's growth not only as a writer but as a person evolving through her experience.
May 21, 2026
This is the second book I’ve read by Emily Rapp Black. As in Sanctuary she is so open so intimate sharing her pain about the sad things that she has gone through but also sharing her continued joy.Emily writes in a voice that draws me in as though I am listening to a dear friend telling me about her life with humor and emotion.An inspiring guide to live life to its fullest.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
A wow of a memoir on loss, grief, disability, and art. Unlike any such book I've ever read. Poignant, inspiring!
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews