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I Would Die If I Were You: Notes on Art and Truth-Telling
Brilliant, anti-ableist, and with a strongly feminist perspective, these essays grapple with how to cultivate a creative, vibrant, and joyful life without succumbing to the pressures of productivity that run counter to the richness and life-giving, spirit-lifting potential of the creative act
For her entire life, celebrated memoirist Emily Rapp Black has been answering awkward questions in What’s wrong with you? What happened to your body? And, in the case of her son’s terminal illness and death, she’s been told more times than she can “I would die if I were you.”
Black rejects the idea of easy pity. Learning how to reframe some of the most difficult experiences a person can live through, alchemizing pain into truth and meaning, she discovered, is its own kind of terrible beauty. Part of the human project is to experience grief and loss, and nobody gets out alive, and no writer—or person—survives anything alone. We need empathy, and for that we need community, and we need stories told within them.
As someone who writes and teaches books about loss and grief, two very loaded and universal subjects, Black wanted to write a book that would empower readers with “conversation stopping” stories (she lose her leg, her child died, in her case) to tell their stories in a way that can be salvific for those who may have been forced to live a similar story. Based on two decades of teaching a wide range of students with diverse and difficult experiences, I Would Die If I Were You is designed to help creative people approach their “hard’ stories in a way that feels joyful, redemptive, and meaningful.
There’s an old saying that when a character is put under extreme duress or pressure, their true character emerges. Black believes this is the same for people, and that writers who have these often extraordinary experiences needed new strategies to tell the stories, those that liberate them from the “poor sad person with a poor sad story” assumption.
For her entire life, celebrated memoirist Emily Rapp Black has been answering awkward questions in What’s wrong with you? What happened to your body? And, in the case of her son’s terminal illness and death, she’s been told more times than she can “I would die if I were you.”
Black rejects the idea of easy pity. Learning how to reframe some of the most difficult experiences a person can live through, alchemizing pain into truth and meaning, she discovered, is its own kind of terrible beauty. Part of the human project is to experience grief and loss, and nobody gets out alive, and no writer—or person—survives anything alone. We need empathy, and for that we need community, and we need stories told within them.
As someone who writes and teaches books about loss and grief, two very loaded and universal subjects, Black wanted to write a book that would empower readers with “conversation stopping” stories (she lose her leg, her child died, in her case) to tell their stories in a way that can be salvific for those who may have been forced to live a similar story. Based on two decades of teaching a wide range of students with diverse and difficult experiences, I Would Die If I Were You is designed to help creative people approach their “hard’ stories in a way that feels joyful, redemptive, and meaningful.
There’s an old saying that when a character is put under extreme duress or pressure, their true character emerges. Black believes this is the same for people, and that writers who have these often extraordinary experiences needed new strategies to tell the stories, those that liberate them from the “poor sad person with a poor sad story” assumption.
288 pages, Paperback
Published May 19, 2026
About the author
Emily Rapp Black
4 books53 followersAdditional books and editions on Goodreads under the name Emily Rapp.
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
Review of advance copy
I read this on a long flight, many of the essays were compelling enough that I've marked them for review when I sit down to write this week. Just the type of prompts I needed now to reignite my own spark on a memoir I had all but given up on.
This was the third of Emily's books I've read, her narrative is so relatable that I felt I was living moments of her story. Thankfully that while some of the memories are quite painful, her sense of humor and personality engage me, like hearing a dear friend expressing her story. I've enjoyed learning about the author's growth not only as a writer but as a person evolving through her experience.
This was the third of Emily's books I've read, her narrative is so relatable that I felt I was living moments of her story. Thankfully that while some of the memories are quite painful, her sense of humor and personality engage me, like hearing a dear friend expressing her story. I've enjoyed learning about the author's growth not only as a writer but as a person evolving through her experience.
September 2, 2026
I won this on a goodreads giveaway. I thought the first half was better than the second. The first half covers a tragic event, the authors feelings, how people reacted to the event and how the author interprets the reactions. I thought it was genuine and couldn't have been easy to share. I thought the writing was good and love the quote "I believe the art is meant comfort the troubled and trouble the comfortable". I was a little confused when it switched over to a guide to writing but went with it. The chapter with lots of movie references I feel detracted from the book. I feel like after that there wasn't really a direction and I started to wonder where it was going. I think there are a lot of good parts to this book. The authors experiences I found very interesting but I think the writing guide would be best as a separate book.
August 11, 2026
A collection of essays on a wide range of topics, from grief and disability studies, hermeneutics and writing exercises, and a lot of personal anecdotes and teaching philosophies from Black. She has a fine chapter where she engages with David Bentley Hart's The Doors of the Sea, and I was interested in her thoughts on ableism, but I found myself taking a deep breath at a lot of her writing about herself - there's a thin line between confidence and self-satisfaction, and I suspect different readers will find her on different sides of that line throughout her book.
I won a copy of this book through a Goodreads giveaway.
I won a copy of this book through a Goodreads giveaway.
May 21, 2026
This is the second book I’ve read by Emily Rapp Black. As in Sanctuary she is so open so intimate sharing her pain about the sad things that she has gone through but also sharing her continued joy.Emily writes in a voice that draws me in as though I am listening to a dear friend telling me about her life with humor and emotion.An inspiring guide to live life to its fullest.
July 24, 2026
This is a book that has left me thinking in new directions and about concpets I havent pondered before. This is a book that will stay with m for a very long time and is one i will be recommending.
Truly inspiring.
Truly inspiring.
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
A wow of a memoir on loss, grief, disability, and art. Unlike any such book I've ever read. Poignant, inspiring!
August 2, 2026
Review to come. Thanks to the publisher for the gifted copy.
August 19, 2026
Heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. The author Is also hilarious at times and sounds like one heck of a person. I wish she were my friend.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews