A Time to Gather: How Ritual Created the World--and How It Can Save Us

by Bruce Feiler

At a time when our shared humanity is under threat and traditional life rituals are losing favor, one of our great decoders of human connection chronicles the astonishing rise of reinvented life rituals around the world and offers a blueprint for restoring togetherness.

It’s easy to be overwhelmed by the sharp decline in the types of life rituals that have been the tentpoles of family and community life since time immemorial. Birth rituals have plummeted, as have comings-of-age. Fewer than half of Americans are married today; only one in three is buried. “It took us ten thousand years to establish cultural norms around how we mark collective life transitions,” writes Bruce Feiler. “It took us fifty years to dismantle them.” We have clearly entered what Feiler calls a “celebration recession.” Can this threat to society be reversed? 

Feiler wanted to find out. As he did with his groundbreaking series Walking the Bible, Feiler went on a round-the-world ritual road trip, attending—and participating in—life rituals in sixteen countries on six continents. These rarely seen spectacles include an adolescent tooth filing in Bali, a mass baptism in the Vatican, and a tribal bride price negotiation in South Africa. He witnessed six weddings in a day in Las Vegas and ten funerals in a week in Ireland.

As he did with Life Is in the Transitions, Feiler also gathered the stories of a hundred ritual designers in twenty-six countries, including a Pentecostal priest in Nigeria who started a fertility circle, the creator of the Purple Pundit Project in New Jersey who leads LGBTQ+ Hindu weddings, and the founder of an app in Canada that helps “create your own rites of passage.”

What Feiler emerged with is a literary achievement, at once a great adventure story in the tradition of Sebastian Junger and Cheryl Strayed; a richly reported sociological portrait in the vein of Robert Putnam and Barbara Ehrenreich; and a conversation-shaping piece of social commentary in the mode of David Brooks and Jonathan Haidt.

Far from a ritual recession, we are in the midst of a  ritual renaissance, one that our outdated radar screens have failed to pick up. Fed up with top-down life rituals, everyday people are reimagining rituals at a pace unseen in human history. From boomers to Gen Z and boosted by social media, this new movement is reviving life rituals for a new century and building thriving communities in the process.

From a master storyteller on the trail of an urgent, untold story, what Feiler has created is a hopeful field guide to modern ritual; a tool kit for infusing collective meaning into our lives; and, perhaps, a framework for repairing our homesick world.

Genres: Nonfiction, History, Religion, Audiobook, Travel, Science, Sociology

368 pages, Hardcover

Published May 19, 2026

About the author

BRUCE FEILER is one of America’s most popular voices on contemporary life. He is the author of six consecutive New York Times bestsellers; the presenter of two prime-time series on PBS; and the inspiration for the drama COUNCIL OF DADS on NBC. Bruce’s two TED Talks have been viewed more than two million times. Employing a firsthand approach to his work, Bruce is known for living the experiences he writes about. His work combines timeless wisdom with timely knowledge turned into practical, positive messages that allow people to live with more meaning, passion, and joy. His new book, LIFE IS IN THE TRANSITIONS: Mastering Change at Any Age, describes his journey across America, collecting hundreds of life stories, exploring how we can navigate the growing number of life transitions with greater purpose and skill.

For more than a decade, Bruce has explored the intersection of families, relationships, health, and happiness. His book THE SECRETS OF HAPPY FAMILIES collects best practices from some of the country’s most creative minds. The book was featured on World News, GMA, and TODAY and excerpted in the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, and Parade. THE COUNCIL OF DADS describes how, faced with one of life’s greatest challenges, he asked six friends to support his young daughters. The book was profiled in PEOPLE, USA Today, and Time and was the subject of a CNN documentary hosted by Dr. Sanjay Gupta.

Since 2001, Bruce has been one of the country’s preeminent thinkers about the role of spirituality in contemporary life. WALKING THE BIBLE describes his 10,000-mile journey retracing the Five Books of Moses through the desert. (“An instant classic,” Washington Post). The book spent a year and a half on the New York Times bestseller list and has been translated into fifteen languages.

ABRAHAM recounts his search for the shared ancestor of the monotheistic religions. (“Exquisitely written,” Boston Globe). WHERE GOD WAS BORN describes his trek visiting biblical sites throughout Israel, Iraq, and Iran. (“Bruce Feiler is a real-life Indiana Jones,” Atlanta Journal-Constitution). AMERICA’S PROPHET is the groundbreaking story of the influence of Moses on American history. THE FIRST LOVE STORY is a journey across four continents exploring how Adam and Eve shaped our deepest feelings about relationships. (“A miraculous thing—the literary equivalent of breathing new life into a figure of clay,” New York Times Book Review; “Feiler’s best work yet,” Publishers Weekly).

A native of Savannah, Georgia, Bruce lives in Brooklyn with wife, Linda Rottenberg, and their identical twin daughters.

Reviews

[Janet L]

I had a hard time figuring out this book -- more of a sociological study of why people create rituals - lots of examples from cultures around the world, and lots of examples of modern created rituals to help people deal with a variety of modern events . He makes the case that rituals preceded religion. For Feiler, rituals have little, if anything, to do with "spirituality" elements (the context I usually associate with the word) but it's all about the community in which rituals are created, embraced and then repeated. It seems that his broad definition is, for many of us, "tradition" Repeated encounters that bring groups back together and from which we create and reinforce connections. And while he claims that "spirituality" isn't really involved or even necessary in his view about ritual, if his ending story about his visit to a Jewish ritual bath ("mikveh") doesn't describe a spirit moment, then nothing does. I got his point -- we need to slow down and strive to be more human with those we love. But the book's varied examples of rituals that continue strong today (ritual teeth grinding as a rite of passage for some in Africa) just didn't speak to me, other than in a sociological sense.

[Richard Thompson]

When I was little, I hated rituals - boring events where family members bickered and hypocrites droned on with stock phrases that meant nothing to me. There was no joy for me, no meaning, nothing other than a desire to escape or to end it as quickly as possible. As an adult, I have come to understand ritual more along the lines that Mr. Feiler describes here - Ritual can be a way to find meaning and comfort in cruel world, it can build community, hold families together and provide connections both to the traditions of the past and the hopes for the future. For any of this to work, the participants have to be willing. If you go into a ritual with a negative attitude, it is almost certain that the result will be the experience of ritual that I had in my childhood. But with the right attitude, it all magically changes. Stupid repetition becomes a source of comfort and a bow to tradition. Even the family bickering can be an essential prelude to an experience of healing and togetherness.

Sometimes, I have found meaning in rituals that initially had zero meaning for me but that took on meaning through repetition. Religious services are the prime example of this, particularly services built around life transitions. Maybe I still look at my watch a lot and have attitude about the attitudes of many of the attendees, but for most of the time now I am able to get over myself and allow myself to get into the flow.

My biggest issue with the book is that it sometimes felt like ritual overkill. I think that much of the power of ritual lies in saving it for special occasions. Too much too often cuts out the heart of what enables the magic of ritual to begin with. I do recognize that there is a counterargument to this. Consider the Jewish idea of having a prayer for everything as you go through the day to build awareness and bring you closer to God, or the Christian concept of constant prayer through unceasing repetition of the Jesus Prayer or Eastern ideas of mantras, koans or prayer wheels. With all of these, every moment becomes a ritual. OK. I get it, but I'll never do it. And even if ritual is reserved for special occasions, I can accept the idea that every Sunday is special or that going to bed every night is a special occasion for which it is OK to have a ritual. But Mr. Feiler seems to take it in another direction with the idea that whenever you have a challenge in life, you can solve it by building a ritual around it. That felt like a bad idea to me and possibly even something that would be counterproductive by cheapening the whole concept of ritual.

[Josie]

When I first started reading Bruce Feiler's “A Time To Gather”, I was fascinated by the title. I was pleasantly surprised by his approach in showcasing different rituals and how essential the fundamental of rituals is in modern societies all around the world. The whole time I was reading, I wish I had the author by side to debate and ask questions. He structures his chapters around different rituals from around the world and is able to connect some semblance of these cultural rituals with today’s “rituals” that have come through in themes such as coming-of-age and death.

Why would we want to improve “becoming rituals” of today? A question that seemed to linger as I read the book. Rituals have specific rules and practices. I know there is room for change and perhaps a new ritual in itself. Rather than changing an existing one, can rituals evolve into something else entirely? I did feel like the comparison to modern rituals felt more Western-focused. For example, Korean first birthdays have evolved from its previous spiritual ritual from the past. It would have been nice to see a more eclectic view of modern rituals, but I know research has deadlines and a book can only hold so many examples. It definitely was an interesting read and if you’re looking for something to discuss and debate - this book would fit that.

[Kim Haasarud]

As someone that works and writes about the Hospitality industry, I was really looking forward to reading this book and seeing how rituals could be incorporated into that realm. I love the way he frames rituals and how they are evolving but also declining. It's kind of a call to arms. Love the examples as much of the book is focused on life rituals - marriage, birth, death, but I found the everyday rituals, the "renewal" and "becoming" ritual some of the most fascinating.

Great read - highly recommended!

[Mark Lawry]

I audible'd it because as a traveler the subject interests me. I grew up in the church in the U.S. I'm not a Christian churchgoer anymore. Yet, when I'm in Korea listening to 19th century American hymns of the faith over the radio, in Korean, I know church offered something. The ritual and the gathering offered something important. I had a hard time following Feiler as an audible. As often the case, probably reading the pages would have been more effective than listening.

[Dawn]

A while ago I decided I needed to re-read more often. Each month I pick a book that is worth re-reading. This month I was to re-read The Ritual Effect, but this book came up in my e-book holds at the library so I decided to read it instead. It was well-worth it and a good companion to The Ritual Effect.

[Madalene]

Unfortunately, this was wordy and ignorant of the science showing which parts of ritual actually do us the most good. I'd recommend instead reading "The Art of Gathering" by Priya Parker, which does a MUCH better job explaining what we get out of gathering and ritual, and how to make it even better.

[Sophie Deal]

This was a great exploration of what ritual is and why it's important. Before reading this, I thought ritual was frilly and a bit stupid, something I could never fit into. After finishing it, I realize that it is something meant to help people fit in, and that I have unknowingly created rituals for a long time. An inspiring and informative read that I thoroughly enjoyed!!

[Candy]

Feiler spent two years traveling the world in search of modern rituals. What he found were people who were willing to create modern rituals and share them with those facing both pain and joy. Methods may have changed, but there is still a need for community that is filled by rituals.

[Angie Lion]

Buying this book for everyone I love and want to gather with amid constant change, chaos, and uncertainty. Hoping they join me in co-creating new family rituals that foster more authentic connections during life's quakes!

[Bob T]

Although interesting from an anthropological perspective, the descriptions of recent rituals seemed more like new age fads than revisions of time-honored rituals. Different people obviously find comfort in a variety of places, which is how it should be.

[Vickie]

Rituals are important. They keep us going.

[Joshua]

Beautiful and important, especially today.

[Aileen]

They do matter; there is possibility. There is ritual.

[Ben Smither]

“The world has made you cruel and hard. Yet you have no become monsters.”

Not a quote from this book: it’s from a sci-fi novel im reading concurrently. But it feels right.