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Queering Him
For fans of books by Sally Rooney and LUSTER by Raven Leilani. In this propulsive debut novel, QUEERING HIM, Katherine Wela Bogen chronicles the scalding-hot story of millennial enemies turned lovers Avra and Kieran. Bullied by Kieran at high school, Avra begins to recognize something familiar in his threatening, but always lingering, gaze. What if he's cruel not only because he fears her out queerness, but because he also secretly covets it for himself?Mutual fascination slowly evolves into obsession, tethering Avra and Kieran to each other through early adulthood as they embark on a relationship both perilous and revelatory.A heart-shattering tale of erotic yearning, QUEERING HIM is also a provocative contribution to social and psychological discourse about bisexuality, queer identity, and kink. Avra and Kieran will return in the second and third installments of this searing and tantalizing trilogy.
352 pages, Paperback
Published February 2, 2026
82 people are currently reading
5203 people want to read
About the author
Katherine Wela Bogen
1 book170 followersIn her own words, Katherine Wela Bogen is “first, a storyteller; second, a scholar-activist; and third, a joyful little freak.” Bisexual and Jewish, she grew up in rural New England. A doctoral candidate in clinical psychology, studying the intersections of bisexual identity, sexual trauma, sexual functioning, and kink, she has published more than forty peer-reviewed papers and is the host of the political podcast SuperHumanizer. Bogen’s 600k+ social media followers will recognize her as @k.w.bogen from her public-facing scholar activism. Queering Him, the first in the Avra and Kieran trilogy, is Bogen’s debut novel.
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September 9, 2025[pre-read note to self: I want to read this because it’s the Hot Chef woman]
October 14, 2025
Rating: 2 stars, maybe 1.5.
I have mixed feelings about this book. So I’m going to break my thoughts into positives and negatives.
Let’s start with the positives. For a debut novel, this story is well written. The narrative is easy to follow, the language has a good flow, and I found it engaging throughout. The main characters feel mostly well developed, and the supporting characters felt real, and I was invested in their existences. I felt like the background angst of high school drama and such was well balanced enough that it didn’t take away from the main plot points of the story. The smutty bits were spicy (though maybe a few too many for my personal enjoyment after a point, but that’s just me), and the chemistry between Avra and Kieran was vivid. For a debut novel, Queering Him did a fantastic job of drawing me in and keeping me within the story.
Now, for the negatives.
While I enjoyed the overt queerness, and the dialogues and commentaries about queerness throughout the book, the niche and nitty-gritty of how complex queer identity can be, I found some parts a bit… ‘preachy’ isn’t the right word. It was more like some of the sections (such as Avra’s long-winded ramble about queer sex) were better suited for a series of essays on queer spaces and experiences, and less suitable for a fiction book.
Now, I am queer myself, and very much a fan of discussing and exploring queerness. The majority of my immediate social circle, and my work environment, are centred strongly and intentionally within the lens of queerness. I love a good education sesh about the intricacies of queer experience and identity, but I don’t necessarily feel the best place for a one-sided version of this dialogue is within a fiction story.
Okay, that aside, let’s get into the story itself. The dynamic between Avra and Kieran is a complex one. It is both an example of how diverse and complicated it can be to find and to feel love, and an example of immense toxicity. There were moments where this toxicity walked a very fine line between exploring the world of kink, and downright taking out internalized queerphobia and abandonment issues on each other in a space where it was couched as ‘un-navigated consent.’
This kink is not trauma informed.
As the story progresses, it is made clear that Avra’s issues with her absent mother are far more impactful than she at first presents them. There is a heavy flavour of unreliable narrator as the book nears the meatiest part of the plot, and it’s even reflected in some of Kieran’s experience with his father.
And, yet, unresolved trauma does not excuse Avra’s betrayal at the end. This is where I am kind of uncertain exactly how I feel about the book. The ending is like an immense implosion, a bang that then ends on the most literal whimper with the very final sentence.
Which left me asking, ‘and for what?’ What lesson was learned here? Is this just a grand, complicated commentary on the complexities of queerness, and bisexual experience, and the tenuous nature of toxic relationships borne from trauma bonding? Is it that people who don’t resolve — or at least attempt to address — their trauma are doomed to implode the relationships in their lives and then end up alone, and rightfully so? Even if that relationship was kinda shitty and weird and violent and maybe wouldn’t have worked out in the end?
Is it that all bisexual people are doomed to hate the concept of heteronormative-appearing relationships so much, they’ll self-destruct just to avoid the wife-husband marriage and white picket fence life? Is it not good enough to be the queer femme that marries a man after all? (Coming from a nonbinary bisexual femme engaged to a cis het man, I’d like to say no).
Anyways, now I’m writing my own queer essay, so I’ll stop there, because I don’t have answers to these questions. Maybe this is just one perspective within the commentary of queerness, and I’m just looking far deeper than I need to.
So, pros: well written, engaging, a style and flow that drew me in and kept me coming back for more. Well-developed characters with intense emotions and believable back stories.
Cons: kinda ranty, fetishistic of both gay men and trans women, and really hard to pin down an exact goal of this story.
Do I recommend it to others? I think so. And, if you do read it, please feel free to hit me up because I have feelings and things I’d love to discuss.
Also, I got this as an ARC through NetGalley, so check it out when it’s available.
I have mixed feelings about this book. So I’m going to break my thoughts into positives and negatives.
Let’s start with the positives. For a debut novel, this story is well written. The narrative is easy to follow, the language has a good flow, and I found it engaging throughout. The main characters feel mostly well developed, and the supporting characters felt real, and I was invested in their existences. I felt like the background angst of high school drama and such was well balanced enough that it didn’t take away from the main plot points of the story. The smutty bits were spicy (though maybe a few too many for my personal enjoyment after a point, but that’s just me), and the chemistry between Avra and Kieran was vivid. For a debut novel, Queering Him did a fantastic job of drawing me in and keeping me within the story.
Now, for the negatives.
While I enjoyed the overt queerness, and the dialogues and commentaries about queerness throughout the book, the niche and nitty-gritty of how complex queer identity can be, I found some parts a bit… ‘preachy’ isn’t the right word. It was more like some of the sections (such as Avra’s long-winded ramble about queer sex) were better suited for a series of essays on queer spaces and experiences, and less suitable for a fiction book.
Now, I am queer myself, and very much a fan of discussing and exploring queerness. The majority of my immediate social circle, and my work environment, are centred strongly and intentionally within the lens of queerness. I love a good education sesh about the intricacies of queer experience and identity, but I don’t necessarily feel the best place for a one-sided version of this dialogue is within a fiction story.
Okay, that aside, let’s get into the story itself. The dynamic between Avra and Kieran is a complex one. It is both an example of how diverse and complicated it can be to find and to feel love, and an example of immense toxicity. There were moments where this toxicity walked a very fine line between exploring the world of kink, and downright taking out internalized queerphobia and abandonment issues on each other in a space where it was couched as ‘un-navigated consent.’
This kink is not trauma informed.
As the story progresses, it is made clear that Avra’s issues with her absent mother are far more impactful than she at first presents them. There is a heavy flavour of unreliable narrator as the book nears the meatiest part of the plot, and it’s even reflected in some of Kieran’s experience with his father.
And, yet, unresolved trauma does not excuse Avra’s betrayal at the end. This is where I am kind of uncertain exactly how I feel about the book. The ending is like an immense implosion, a bang that then ends on the most literal whimper with the very final sentence.
Which left me asking, ‘and for what?’ What lesson was learned here? Is this just a grand, complicated commentary on the complexities of queerness, and bisexual experience, and the tenuous nature of toxic relationships borne from trauma bonding? Is it that people who don’t resolve — or at least attempt to address — their trauma are doomed to implode the relationships in their lives and then end up alone, and rightfully so? Even if that relationship was kinda shitty and weird and violent and maybe wouldn’t have worked out in the end?
Is it that all bisexual people are doomed to hate the concept of heteronormative-appearing relationships so much, they’ll self-destruct just to avoid the wife-husband marriage and white picket fence life? Is it not good enough to be the queer femme that marries a man after all? (Coming from a nonbinary bisexual femme engaged to a cis het man, I’d like to say no).
Anyways, now I’m writing my own queer essay, so I’ll stop there, because I don’t have answers to these questions. Maybe this is just one perspective within the commentary of queerness, and I’m just looking far deeper than I need to.
So, pros: well written, engaging, a style and flow that drew me in and kept me coming back for more. Well-developed characters with intense emotions and believable back stories.
Cons: kinda ranty, fetishistic of both gay men and trans women, and really hard to pin down an exact goal of this story.
Do I recommend it to others? I think so. And, if you do read it, please feel free to hit me up because I have feelings and things I’d love to discuss.
Also, I got this as an ARC through NetGalley, so check it out when it’s available.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 9, 2025
ARC copy courtesy of Netgalley.
I approached this book with caution; curious and willing to be convinced. Turns out I was insufficiently cautious, given it's quite possibly the most odious, offensive, irredeemably irresponsible narrative I've ever interacted with.
My issue is first and foremost with the fetishism - first of lesbianism, then of gay men, and most egregiously of all, of trans women.
A character at one point remarks "doing a fucked up thing doesn't become not fucked up by you recognising you're doing it" and this especially applies in relation to prefacing a hideously fetishistic comment with 'it's probably fetishistic to say this, but...'
Proceeding with a remark fully conscious of its being wholly inappropriate is behaviour ugly on a par with the initial thought, and its occurring in the midst of a 'sex positive' conversation by no means diminishes either the intent or the damage.
And honestly, this book is damaging altogether.
Unhealthy relationship dynamics.
Unhelpful portrayals of performative intimacy between two women in a narrative that proports to primarily centre bisexual visibility and validity.
The fetishisation of gay men for the female gaze.
Forcing the confrontation of a partner's suppressed or repressed sexual desires out of a perverse sense of entitlement.
Dangerous discussion and likewise practice of kink.
Succinctly, if toxic, hateful, morally bankrupt romance is what you're after, then you just might vibe with this. But I would advise EXTREME caution.
I approached this book with caution; curious and willing to be convinced. Turns out I was insufficiently cautious, given it's quite possibly the most odious, offensive, irredeemably irresponsible narrative I've ever interacted with.
My issue is first and foremost with the fetishism - first of lesbianism, then of gay men, and most egregiously of all, of trans women.
A character at one point remarks "doing a fucked up thing doesn't become not fucked up by you recognising you're doing it" and this especially applies in relation to prefacing a hideously fetishistic comment with 'it's probably fetishistic to say this, but...'
Proceeding with a remark fully conscious of its being wholly inappropriate is behaviour ugly on a par with the initial thought, and its occurring in the midst of a 'sex positive' conversation by no means diminishes either the intent or the damage.
And honestly, this book is damaging altogether.
Unhealthy relationship dynamics.
Unhelpful portrayals of performative intimacy between two women in a narrative that proports to primarily centre bisexual visibility and validity.
The fetishisation of gay men for the female gaze.
Forcing the confrontation of a partner's suppressed or repressed sexual desires out of a perverse sense of entitlement.
Dangerous discussion and likewise practice of kink.
Succinctly, if toxic, hateful, morally bankrupt romance is what you're after, then you just might vibe with this. But I would advise EXTREME caution.
February 7, 2026
If nothing else, Queering Him is compulsively readable. It’s infuriating in a way that makes it hard to put down, which does ultimately mean it succeeds in being an engaging debut. Beyond that, this novel really did not work for me.
For the record, my problems with it don't have anything to do with it being "uncomfortable" or "dark" or the fact that there's unreliable, unlikable, morally grey characters - there's so many truly phenomenal books with those exact qualities. I'm still trying to figure out how to articulate how it fell short beyond writing style (which could be personal preference) or what I cover in the rest of my review, but I just don't find it to be a compelling exploration of queerness or intra/intercommunity harm.
As mentioned above, the main characters are deeply flawed. Avra and Kieran both have the capacity to be cruel and self-destructive and vindictive and manipulative and those similarities are part of what bonds them, so their dynamic was never going to be healthy. These tendencies and their traumas combine in ways that make them truly exasperating.
Avra, our main POV throughout, has a particularly frustrating habit of creating narratives in her head that may or may not have any bearing in reality. A know-it-all in and outside of the classroom, she is very confident that she can tell exactly what everyone else is thinking or wants or needs - Kieran most of all - and it is so, so satisfying when she is finally called out on this behavior. At times, this also makes it hard to tell when it’s the omniscient narrator telling us something versus when it’s just Avra making more assumptions. I could write paragraphs about how vexing and inconsistent I found Avra but I know she’s not supposed to be likeable so I’ll leave it at that.
It’s difficult because this is a story about Avra and Kieran, so in many ways it makes sense that Kieran is the center of Avra's world. She’s a woman obsessed and of course every other romantic and/or sexual partner is overpowered by the pull she feels towards him. That doesn’t make Avra any less queer, but, as a reader, it does make the other queer women she dates feel disposable and underdeveloped. After the pages-long lectures about the joys and power of queer sex and Avra’s passion for women, the mechanical nature of Avra’s few, very abbreviated sex scenes with women and her treatment of those partners is glaring.
Avra and her high school girlfriend Isabella are together for a year and a half – a not insignificant amount of time, especially for teenagers – and all we're told is that she’s a pretty, femme, Bambi-eyed dancer from the Carolinas. We don’t actually see their relationship or what it means to Avra and considering how isolated we’re told she was, you would assume their connection would mean a lot. After that initial introduction, we mostly hear about Isabella in the context of Avra tuning her out while she watches Kieran over Isabella's shoulder.
Naya, Avra’s first college girlfriend, also gets this treatment. She actually speaks but all we really know is that she’s a Black, butch lesbian who likes Kathleen Collins, whiskey, and monologuing. And that she’s biphobic. Something about making the only butch character and the only Black character the “voice of biphobia” left a sour taste in my mouth. I would absolutely expect a bi-for-bi story to explore the reality of biphobia, but it’s extremely off-putting to have the most egregious examples come from Naya, who reads as a caricature of the big bad biphobic lesbian. It’s not that every butch or Black character has to be without flaws, but it feels like a choice for the singular representation of these groups to be the most explicitly biphobic character in a sea of white femmes whose behavior is never really criticized in same way (cough, cough - Karly). Avra and Naya are decidedly not a good match and Naya clearly has a lot to unpack and unlearn, but I can understand being frustrated when your girlfriend literally cannot stop talking or thinking about someone else.
This underdevelopment even extends beyond Avra’s partners. We hear more from and about other queer characters once Avra gets to college, but throughout the high school chapters I found myself wondering where they were. We know she starts a GSA but we never get to see those meetings, which is surprising given how much Avra talks about craving queer community. We know Avra’s not the only queer kid at school, but are they also bullied? All we really get from Teo and Anneliis (one of whom seems to use they/them pronouns unless I misread?) is that they side with Isabella after the breakup which, sure, might be because of biphobic tendencies as assumed by Avra, but that rift could also very well be related to the fact that Avra has been pulled into the more popular crowd as she and Kieran continue to orbit each other. As soon as she starts being nicer to people and stops doing things like yelling at her peers for wasting her time in a high school English class, Avra is very quickly welcomed into the fold and the “leader of the misfit crew only when the misfits hadn’t found a slightly more popular crew with which to shelter” becomes the misfit who's moved on to more popular friends. That’s never really addressed.
Moving on, other reviewers have pointed out how troubling so much of Avra’s and Kieran’s behavior is. Moments like their trip to the gay club stand out as particularly upsetting. Avra purposely gets Kieran drunk (as she often does in her quest for power over him)- like, “head rolling sickly, his pupils contracting,” unable to really stand upright or control his limbs drunk - and essentially just sits by while he is harassed. It’s one in a long line of moments where Avra pushes Kieran too far, too fast despite his clear protests and palpable discomfort. She is never able to take Kieran at his word to the point that she never considers he might be bisexual, which was a bit surprising to me. She is adamant that he’s actually secretly gay, even as he’s telling her that’s not quite right. That speaks to her own insecurities (he couldn’t actually want her, long term) and the fact that she’s very much still grappling with her own sexuality, but it’s yet another instance of Avra stubbornly refusing to believe Kieran or really see him as a full person.
Throughout these incidents, there is the voice of the narrator telling us that eventually Avra will recognize her behavior as abusive or controlling, but for a “meditation on violence that can happen within and across queer community," there’s not much of an interrogation of this. Despite the fact that the novel has also been marketed as instructional (particularly in relation to navigating kink, if I remember correctly), readers aren't supposed to go off and mimic the behavior of the main characters. The result is an odd combination of a how-to guide and a cautionary tale. That’s allowed, and depicting something in your writing is not co-signing that behavior, but there are also scenes or lines that feel like they were included just for the sake of being a bit edgy(?). Avra’s fetishization of trans women, for example, is so out-of-pocket that I truly cannot imagine what would possess someone to read that scene back and say “yeah that’s really good that’s GOTTA stay in," let alone write it down in the first place.
In the end, Queering Him was not for me. Clearly it left me with a lot to say about the novel so there's that, but ultimately I’m also not the kind of person who finds the “this homophobic bully is actually gay” trope interesting. It feels like even if you think Avra and Kieran should stay as far away from each other as possible and go to therapy, you’re supposed to see their connection and dynamic as worth exploring. I can’t say that I do.
A few final notes:
- There’s some anachronisms throughout that pulled me out of the story. Maybe they just stood out to me because I was in high school/college at the same time as these characters, but if you’re going to insist on grounding the narrative in a particular time (down to the month and year) you should probably do the necessary research to make that setting feel realistic.
- Why are we still making Harry Potter references in 2025? We get it, Avra’s a nerd. There are enough other nerdy cultural references to make that point without invoking a transphobe in queer literature. (Also okay are Harry Potter and Star Wars and Lord of the Rings really all that nerdy or is everyone generally familiar with them? Even in the context of 2008-2013, it feels soooo dated to be like “wow I can’t believe this jock knows about an extremely popular movie franchise.”)
- I'm so sorry this is the tiniest detail but dark blue is THE quintessential frat bro sheet color. There are many tiny details that make me feel like I'm losing it.
- You can tell the author is a poet (alliteration abounds) but/and the writing style never quite hit for me the way it does for other reviewers. There are multiple long lectures that feel detached from the rest of the novel and there were also places where the author did a lot of telling, rather than showing, or even showing but then also telling just to make sure we got it.
-If you've ever followed the author on Instagram, you may also be distracted by the extent to which Avra appears to be a version of the author herself. It's really......something, especially since she's said it's a story inspired by her own high school bully.
Edit:
- I keep thinking about how this is the first installment in a trilogy and wondering why that choice was made? Based on book one, where a lot of scenes didn't actually tell us anything new about the characters or move the story forward in a meaningful way, I do wonder if a harsh round of edits could have condensed Avra and Kieran's story to one, ultimately stronger novel. Obviously, it's impossible to really say for certain without knowing what occurs in the next two books and also I didn't like Queering Him so HUGE grain of salt.
For the record, my problems with it don't have anything to do with it being "uncomfortable" or "dark" or the fact that there's unreliable, unlikable, morally grey characters - there's so many truly phenomenal books with those exact qualities. I'm still trying to figure out how to articulate how it fell short beyond writing style (which could be personal preference) or what I cover in the rest of my review, but I just don't find it to be a compelling exploration of queerness or intra/intercommunity harm.
As mentioned above, the main characters are deeply flawed. Avra and Kieran both have the capacity to be cruel and self-destructive and vindictive and manipulative and those similarities are part of what bonds them, so their dynamic was never going to be healthy. These tendencies and their traumas combine in ways that make them truly exasperating.
Avra, our main POV throughout, has a particularly frustrating habit of creating narratives in her head that may or may not have any bearing in reality. A know-it-all in and outside of the classroom, she is very confident that she can tell exactly what everyone else is thinking or wants or needs - Kieran most of all - and it is so, so satisfying when she is finally called out on this behavior. At times, this also makes it hard to tell when it’s the omniscient narrator telling us something versus when it’s just Avra making more assumptions. I could write paragraphs about how vexing and inconsistent I found Avra but I know she’s not supposed to be likeable so I’ll leave it at that.
It’s difficult because this is a story about Avra and Kieran, so in many ways it makes sense that Kieran is the center of Avra's world. She’s a woman obsessed and of course every other romantic and/or sexual partner is overpowered by the pull she feels towards him. That doesn’t make Avra any less queer, but, as a reader, it does make the other queer women she dates feel disposable and underdeveloped. After the pages-long lectures about the joys and power of queer sex and Avra’s passion for women, the mechanical nature of Avra’s few, very abbreviated sex scenes with women and her treatment of those partners is glaring.
Avra and her high school girlfriend Isabella are together for a year and a half – a not insignificant amount of time, especially for teenagers – and all we're told is that she’s a pretty, femme, Bambi-eyed dancer from the Carolinas. We don’t actually see their relationship or what it means to Avra and considering how isolated we’re told she was, you would assume their connection would mean a lot. After that initial introduction, we mostly hear about Isabella in the context of Avra tuning her out while she watches Kieran over Isabella's shoulder.
Naya, Avra’s first college girlfriend, also gets this treatment. She actually speaks but all we really know is that she’s a Black, butch lesbian who likes Kathleen Collins, whiskey, and monologuing. And that she’s biphobic. Something about making the only butch character and the only Black character the “voice of biphobia” left a sour taste in my mouth. I would absolutely expect a bi-for-bi story to explore the reality of biphobia, but it’s extremely off-putting to have the most egregious examples come from Naya, who reads as a caricature of the big bad biphobic lesbian. It’s not that every butch or Black character has to be without flaws, but it feels like a choice for the singular representation of these groups to be the most explicitly biphobic character in a sea of white femmes whose behavior is never really criticized in same way (cough, cough - Karly). Avra and Naya are decidedly not a good match and Naya clearly has a lot to unpack and unlearn, but I can understand being frustrated when your girlfriend literally cannot stop talking or thinking about someone else.
This underdevelopment even extends beyond Avra’s partners. We hear more from and about other queer characters once Avra gets to college, but throughout the high school chapters I found myself wondering where they were. We know she starts a GSA but we never get to see those meetings, which is surprising given how much Avra talks about craving queer community. We know Avra’s not the only queer kid at school, but are they also bullied? All we really get from Teo and Anneliis (one of whom seems to use they/them pronouns unless I misread?) is that they side with Isabella after the breakup which, sure, might be because of biphobic tendencies as assumed by Avra, but that rift could also very well be related to the fact that Avra has been pulled into the more popular crowd as she and Kieran continue to orbit each other. As soon as she starts being nicer to people and stops doing things like yelling at her peers for wasting her time in a high school English class, Avra is very quickly welcomed into the fold and the “leader of the misfit crew only when the misfits hadn’t found a slightly more popular crew with which to shelter” becomes the misfit who's moved on to more popular friends. That’s never really addressed.
Moving on, other reviewers have pointed out how troubling so much of Avra’s and Kieran’s behavior is. Moments like their trip to the gay club stand out as particularly upsetting. Avra purposely gets Kieran drunk (as she often does in her quest for power over him)- like, “head rolling sickly, his pupils contracting,” unable to really stand upright or control his limbs drunk - and essentially just sits by while he is harassed. It’s one in a long line of moments where Avra pushes Kieran too far, too fast despite his clear protests and palpable discomfort. She is never able to take Kieran at his word to the point that she never considers he might be bisexual, which was a bit surprising to me. She is adamant that he’s actually secretly gay, even as he’s telling her that’s not quite right. That speaks to her own insecurities (he couldn’t actually want her, long term) and the fact that she’s very much still grappling with her own sexuality, but it’s yet another instance of Avra stubbornly refusing to believe Kieran or really see him as a full person.
Throughout these incidents, there is the voice of the narrator telling us that eventually Avra will recognize her behavior as abusive or controlling, but for a “meditation on violence that can happen within and across queer community," there’s not much of an interrogation of this. Despite the fact that the novel has also been marketed as instructional (particularly in relation to navigating kink, if I remember correctly), readers aren't supposed to go off and mimic the behavior of the main characters. The result is an odd combination of a how-to guide and a cautionary tale. That’s allowed, and depicting something in your writing is not co-signing that behavior, but there are also scenes or lines that feel like they were included just for the sake of being a bit edgy(?). Avra’s fetishization of trans women, for example, is so out-of-pocket that I truly cannot imagine what would possess someone to read that scene back and say “yeah that’s really good that’s GOTTA stay in," let alone write it down in the first place.
In the end, Queering Him was not for me. Clearly it left me with a lot to say about the novel so there's that, but ultimately I’m also not the kind of person who finds the “this homophobic bully is actually gay” trope interesting. It feels like even if you think Avra and Kieran should stay as far away from each other as possible and go to therapy, you’re supposed to see their connection and dynamic as worth exploring. I can’t say that I do.
A few final notes:
- There’s some anachronisms throughout that pulled me out of the story. Maybe they just stood out to me because I was in high school/college at the same time as these characters, but if you’re going to insist on grounding the narrative in a particular time (down to the month and year) you should probably do the necessary research to make that setting feel realistic.
- Why are we still making Harry Potter references in 2025? We get it, Avra’s a nerd. There are enough other nerdy cultural references to make that point without invoking a transphobe in queer literature. (Also okay are Harry Potter and Star Wars and Lord of the Rings really all that nerdy or is everyone generally familiar with them? Even in the context of 2008-2013, it feels soooo dated to be like “wow I can’t believe this jock knows about an extremely popular movie franchise.”)
- I'm so sorry this is the tiniest detail but dark blue is THE quintessential frat bro sheet color. There are many tiny details that make me feel like I'm losing it.
- You can tell the author is a poet (alliteration abounds) but/and the writing style never quite hit for me the way it does for other reviewers. There are multiple long lectures that feel detached from the rest of the novel and there were also places where the author did a lot of telling, rather than showing, or even showing but then also telling just to make sure we got it.
-If you've ever followed the author on Instagram, you may also be distracted by the extent to which Avra appears to be a version of the author herself. It's really......something, especially since she's said it's a story inspired by her own high school bully.
Edit:
- I keep thinking about how this is the first installment in a trilogy and wondering why that choice was made? Based on book one, where a lot of scenes didn't actually tell us anything new about the characters or move the story forward in a meaningful way, I do wonder if a harsh round of edits could have condensed Avra and Kieran's story to one, ultimately stronger novel. Obviously, it's impossible to really say for certain without knowing what occurs in the next two books and also I didn't like Queering Him so HUGE grain of salt.
October 28, 2025
I will start with what I appreciated about this novel: for a debut author, Bogen has a pretty good ear for dialogue. With some notable exceptions, like when our heroine Avra turns into a queer studies lecturer, I thought the dialogue flowed naturally. Characters were given distinct enough voices that it was easy to get a sense of them. I also appreciated that this novel explored a bi4bi relationship, a dynamic that I think is underrepresented in literature, especially when it comes to bi men.
I think I fundamentally take issue with the premise of this entire novel — that homophobic bullies are only that way because they’re secretly closeted. While this certainly may be true in some cases — humanity is a rich tapestry et cetera — is this really a “queer experience” worthy of novelization? I’m not sure that it is, especially when the other (surprisingly few) queer characters are barely given personalities. Avra easily acquires girlfriends and just as easily discards them, and we learn nothing about them beyond the most basic descriptions (pretty/femme/dancer; art student; Black/butch/lesbian/biphobic??). Women are treated as mere distractions from the cis man at the center of Avra’s world — Avra claims that women are her “calling,” but in no way is that felt in the text. Avra’s college girlfriend is an especially egregious example. Naya is Black (the only character whose race is ever specified, which makes it feel like she exists to tick a box), a butch lesbian (the only non-femme), and majorly biphobic. It’s honestly quite offensive to have the only Black butch character be the source of such biphobia, while Avra’s straight friend Karly’s fetishization of queer women is treated as just a fun quirk (more on that later). Moreover, the author repeatedly breaks the fourth wall to excuse the offensive (ableist, fatphobic) things Avra says, by assuring us that she’s just too young to know better, but the same grace is not extended to Naya — I guess juniors in college are supposed to be perfectly behaved, even if their girlfriends won’t ever shut up about someone else.
Regarding the fetishization of queer women, the author seems to believe fetishizing is just a way of expressing interest in queer community, a tentative foray out of the closet. Fetishization, specifically by Karly, is not treated as what it is — homophobia. The book has a real fetishization problem; Avra repeatedly fetishizes gay men in her relationship with Kieran. To be fair, I think this is meant to be uncomfortable to some degree, but that doesn’t mean I enjoyed reading it. Then there are Avra’s comments about trans women, which are so galling that I cannot begin to understand why the author included them.
I’m sure this book will find its audience, but unfortunately that audience is not me. Thank you to Netgalley for the ARC.
I think I fundamentally take issue with the premise of this entire novel — that homophobic bullies are only that way because they’re secretly closeted. While this certainly may be true in some cases — humanity is a rich tapestry et cetera — is this really a “queer experience” worthy of novelization? I’m not sure that it is, especially when the other (surprisingly few) queer characters are barely given personalities. Avra easily acquires girlfriends and just as easily discards them, and we learn nothing about them beyond the most basic descriptions (pretty/femme/dancer; art student; Black/butch/lesbian/biphobic??). Women are treated as mere distractions from the cis man at the center of Avra’s world — Avra claims that women are her “calling,” but in no way is that felt in the text. Avra’s college girlfriend is an especially egregious example. Naya is Black (the only character whose race is ever specified, which makes it feel like she exists to tick a box), a butch lesbian (the only non-femme), and majorly biphobic. It’s honestly quite offensive to have the only Black butch character be the source of such biphobia, while Avra’s straight friend Karly’s fetishization of queer women is treated as just a fun quirk (more on that later). Moreover, the author repeatedly breaks the fourth wall to excuse the offensive (ableist, fatphobic) things Avra says, by assuring us that she’s just too young to know better, but the same grace is not extended to Naya — I guess juniors in college are supposed to be perfectly behaved, even if their girlfriends won’t ever shut up about someone else.
Regarding the fetishization of queer women, the author seems to believe fetishizing is just a way of expressing interest in queer community, a tentative foray out of the closet. Fetishization, specifically by Karly, is not treated as what it is — homophobia. The book has a real fetishization problem; Avra repeatedly fetishizes gay men in her relationship with Kieran. To be fair, I think this is meant to be uncomfortable to some degree, but that doesn’t mean I enjoyed reading it. Then there are Avra’s comments about trans women, which are so galling that I cannot begin to understand why the author included them.
I’m sure this book will find its audience, but unfortunately that audience is not me. Thank you to Netgalley for the ARC.
October 28, 2025
EDIT: Apparently the author found my review and crashed out on her instagram stories. If you are crashing out on your instagram stories because of a review from a random person on the internet, maybe you’re the problem. I don’t usually give ratings to books I don’t like but the crash out really inspired me this time. The author is embarrassing herself so much she doesn’t even know it! Once you release your work out into the world, it’s not yours anymore. People will have opinions on your work AND you because your work is a reflection of who you are. Let reviewers have fun, let lesbians be mean, etc.
Things i didn’t like:
Performance of queer/sapphic desire for your male crush.
Incorrect use of the term femme. Femme is a lesbian identity in a butchfemme context. Using femme while the MC is actively crushing on a man is sacrilegious. I’ve read countless books on femme identity such as Stone Butch Blues, S/he, The femme mystique, The persistent desire, etc. None of those books talk about femmes who like men, because guess what! That’s not a thing. Femmes like butch and masc lesbians and they’re lesbians themselves.
Fetishization of almost every lgbt identity under the sun.
Making the only butch lesbian character present biphobic.
The sapphic relationships in this book lacked depth. I wanted to know more about them, even root for them, but go girl give us nothing I guess. I had a hard time believing Avra’s bisexuality because she never experiences attraction to women in the same way her attraction to a man is described. Her sex scenes with Kieran were extremely detailed whereas the ones with women maybe got two sentences max. It was giving “the author has never had sex with a woman so she has no idea what to write about.”
Depictions of bisexuality in this book were very binary. Dating men vs women. Nowhere did i see mentions of nonbinary people, and the one time trans people were mentioned it was fetishistic.
Things I liked:
The storytelling. This was a page turner for sure, but it still took me 2 months to finish so I guess it was bad after all.
Things I didn’t care about even if i tried:
The relationship between Avra and Kieran. I was bored. I skimmed some of the sex scenes. To me they don’t have much chemistry or things in common.
Things i didn’t like:
Performance of queer/sapphic desire for your male crush.
Incorrect use of the term femme. Femme is a lesbian identity in a butchfemme context. Using femme while the MC is actively crushing on a man is sacrilegious. I’ve read countless books on femme identity such as Stone Butch Blues, S/he, The femme mystique, The persistent desire, etc. None of those books talk about femmes who like men, because guess what! That’s not a thing. Femmes like butch and masc lesbians and they’re lesbians themselves.
Fetishization of almost every lgbt identity under the sun.
Making the only butch lesbian character present biphobic.
The sapphic relationships in this book lacked depth. I wanted to know more about them, even root for them, but go girl give us nothing I guess. I had a hard time believing Avra’s bisexuality because she never experiences attraction to women in the same way her attraction to a man is described. Her sex scenes with Kieran were extremely detailed whereas the ones with women maybe got two sentences max. It was giving “the author has never had sex with a woman so she has no idea what to write about.”
Depictions of bisexuality in this book were very binary. Dating men vs women. Nowhere did i see mentions of nonbinary people, and the one time trans people were mentioned it was fetishistic.
Things I liked:
The storytelling. This was a page turner for sure, but it still took me 2 months to finish so I guess it was bad after all.
Things I didn’t care about even if i tried:
The relationship between Avra and Kieran. I was bored. I skimmed some of the sex scenes. To me they don’t have much chemistry or things in common.
November 4, 2025
When I tell you how much I wanted to love this book 🥲 Alas, I didn’t get it.
I will refrain from writing my in-depth thoughts because I feel that some of the unsavory reviews have been handled disingenuously. Although I understand the burning curiosity authors must be left with after their work is released, it is not cool to collect bad reviews like chips on their shoulder!
There is a reason readers don’t tag authors in gripe reviews. Readers spaces are not authors spaces. Sometimes it’s fun being a hater; it doesn’t make you a bad person to have fun with a less than savory review, not to be spiteful or mean-spirited - though those reviewers do exist - but to air out our grievances and conflicting feelings about a book to and with fellow readers.
We should be allowed to roast a book or give it a comprehensive bad review without being insulted for it. Maybe some of us missed the point and that’s okay. A book can’t be for everyone. A book as divisive as this one? Described as being for fans of Rooney, one of my literary GOATs? I was hoping it’d be for me… and I really did try to get it. But I definitely missed the point - because the authorial intent of this story very much did not land for me - and guess what? That’s okay!
I will refrain from writing my in-depth thoughts because I feel that some of the unsavory reviews have been handled disingenuously. Although I understand the burning curiosity authors must be left with after their work is released, it is not cool to collect bad reviews like chips on their shoulder!
There is a reason readers don’t tag authors in gripe reviews. Readers spaces are not authors spaces. Sometimes it’s fun being a hater; it doesn’t make you a bad person to have fun with a less than savory review, not to be spiteful or mean-spirited - though those reviewers do exist - but to air out our grievances and conflicting feelings about a book to and with fellow readers.
We should be allowed to roast a book or give it a comprehensive bad review without being insulted for it. Maybe some of us missed the point and that’s okay. A book can’t be for everyone. A book as divisive as this one? Described as being for fans of Rooney, one of my literary GOATs? I was hoping it’d be for me… and I really did try to get it. But I definitely missed the point - because the authorial intent of this story very much did not land for me - and guess what? That’s okay!
September 22, 2025
I feel conflicted about this book, because on the one hand it exceeded my expectations in some ways, but on the other hand I’m not sure I’d recommend it to anyone.
Two caveats, the first is that I read this as an ARC from NetGalley. The second is that the reason I requested it from NetGalley (actually the reason I signed up for a NetGalley account) was because I follow the author on social media and have been thoroughly charmed by her hot chef romance saga. Maybe because of that, and because what I knew of the book before reading was just that it was a “steamy queer romance,” I guess I was expecting something more along the lines of a Casey McQuiston novel. (I’ve read all of theirs and love them.) It was not that.
Which brings me to what exceeded my expectations: how literary this book was. The writing was exceptionally descriptive. There was nothing fluffy about this book, it’s not a light romance at all. It’s raw and gritty and evocative and provocative. The story was engaging, and I kept wanting to know what happened next (though I rarely liked what did). The book was indeed VERY steamy, in fact came close to being spicier than I prefer, but that’s fine.
But. The whole… plot. The characters. I just… I didn’t like them. I disliked both of the main characters, first one more than the other, and then at some point that swapped. Just about every single thing that happened in their relationship, every dynamic, I found myself thinking “well that’s problematic.” For a lot of the book I felt kind of icky reading it. Even though the author clearly called out a lot of the problematic behavior (through secondary characters), I don’t feel like it was all addressed and I just could not relate at all to many of the mc’s motives. And the ending, ugh. It just wasn’t any fun to read that ending and how is it fair to make me go through all that with these characters and end it hating the MC?
This may very well be simply a case of “not my cup of tea” - because I was very impressed with the quality of writing, and I love what I know of the author herself from her prolific social media presence (lol). I’d give her another shot. But this just wasn’t my jam.
Two caveats, the first is that I read this as an ARC from NetGalley. The second is that the reason I requested it from NetGalley (actually the reason I signed up for a NetGalley account) was because I follow the author on social media and have been thoroughly charmed by her hot chef romance saga. Maybe because of that, and because what I knew of the book before reading was just that it was a “steamy queer romance,” I guess I was expecting something more along the lines of a Casey McQuiston novel. (I’ve read all of theirs and love them.) It was not that.
Which brings me to what exceeded my expectations: how literary this book was. The writing was exceptionally descriptive. There was nothing fluffy about this book, it’s not a light romance at all. It’s raw and gritty and evocative and provocative. The story was engaging, and I kept wanting to know what happened next (though I rarely liked what did). The book was indeed VERY steamy, in fact came close to being spicier than I prefer, but that’s fine.
But. The whole… plot. The characters. I just… I didn’t like them. I disliked both of the main characters, first one more than the other, and then at some point that swapped. Just about every single thing that happened in their relationship, every dynamic, I found myself thinking “well that’s problematic.” For a lot of the book I felt kind of icky reading it. Even though the author clearly called out a lot of the problematic behavior (through secondary characters), I don’t feel like it was all addressed and I just could not relate at all to many of the mc’s motives. And the ending, ugh. It just wasn’t any fun to read that ending and how is it fair to make me go through all that with these characters and end it hating the MC?
This may very well be simply a case of “not my cup of tea” - because I was very impressed with the quality of writing, and I love what I know of the author herself from her prolific social media presence (lol). I’d give her another shot. But this just wasn’t my jam.
September 19, 2025
Oh. My. God.
I don't think this was written as a romance novel. It absolutely speaks into love and sex and longing, but more than anything it explores biphobia (internal and external), growing up queer, and the devastatingly confusing struggle of knowing who you are and what you want.
Both Avra and Kieran are so flawed, cruel to each other in various ways, but I don't think the author wants us to think they're the standard; in truth, they are simply a picture of a reality. Relationships and dynamics like theirs are real, are messy and problematic yet also laced with genuine, at times suppressed care. Their push and pull demands they look at their own lives and why they sabotage themselves, why they do what they do.
I found myself crying in the second to last chapter. It hurt so, so bad. Bogen writes poetically while also capturing how people actually talk, and Kieran's monologue wrecked me.
Bisexual people being simultaneously fetishized and invalidated needs to be discussed and called out more in queer spaces, and I hope this book encourages those conversations. I need book two, and book one isn't even officially published yet.
Thank you to NetGalley and Cat's Elbow Books for the advance copy in exchange for an honest review!
I don't think this was written as a romance novel. It absolutely speaks into love and sex and longing, but more than anything it explores biphobia (internal and external), growing up queer, and the devastatingly confusing struggle of knowing who you are and what you want.
Both Avra and Kieran are so flawed, cruel to each other in various ways, but I don't think the author wants us to think they're the standard; in truth, they are simply a picture of a reality. Relationships and dynamics like theirs are real, are messy and problematic yet also laced with genuine, at times suppressed care. Their push and pull demands they look at their own lives and why they sabotage themselves, why they do what they do.
I found myself crying in the second to last chapter. It hurt so, so bad. Bogen writes poetically while also capturing how people actually talk, and Kieran's monologue wrecked me.
Bisexual people being simultaneously fetishized and invalidated needs to be discussed and called out more in queer spaces, and I hope this book encourages those conversations. I need book two, and book one isn't even officially published yet.
Thank you to NetGalley and Cat's Elbow Books for the advance copy in exchange for an honest review!
October 5, 2025
2 October 2025
2.5 stars
This debut novel was a read I was really looking forward to as I follow Katherine Bogen on social media and find her entertaining.
The book is entertaining but in the same way that unbelievably loud music is - you can’t tune it out so you just keep hoping it ends soon. Or a car crash in human form - both the main characters are awful in different ways with few redeeming qualities.
Avra is not someone I would want to befriend and her choices for 95% of the book will you have you questioning your own sanity. Somehow the mean jock/man of the story, Kieran, is the one you root for less than halfway into the story .
This book and characters had great potential but for now it’s just frustrating and kind of depressing how much they want to hurt each other. I will say it's hard to put down but the way Avra tries to hurt Kieran is so awful you feel bad for him even though he was the bully for years of their lives! At least he shows growth. She has the opposite arc and I'm curious to see how she can possibly recover from the heinous things she does at the end. The book makes you feel like you can't look away, and the only characters I liked were Avra's father and her college roomie and her boyfriend (all of whom barely get any time to shine).
For a book that's about queerness, it's so weird how male-centred it is on Kieren and all the other love interests feel like sad little plot points with limited personalities.
I am grateful to NetGalley and the publishers for giving me access to an ARC in exchange for my honest feedback.
2.5 stars
This debut novel was a read I was really looking forward to as I follow Katherine Bogen on social media and find her entertaining.
The book is entertaining but in the same way that unbelievably loud music is - you can’t tune it out so you just keep hoping it ends soon. Or a car crash in human form - both the main characters are awful in different ways with few redeeming qualities.
Avra is not someone I would want to befriend and her choices for 95% of the book will you have you questioning your own sanity. Somehow the mean jock/man of the story, Kieran, is the one you root for less than halfway into the story .
This book and characters had great potential but for now it’s just frustrating and kind of depressing how much they want to hurt each other. I will say it's hard to put down but the way Avra tries to hurt Kieran is so awful you feel bad for him even though he was the bully for years of their lives! At least he shows growth. She has the opposite arc and I'm curious to see how she can possibly recover from the heinous things she does at the end. The book makes you feel like you can't look away, and the only characters I liked were Avra's father and her college roomie and her boyfriend (all of whom barely get any time to shine).
For a book that's about queerness, it's so weird how male-centred it is on Kieren and all the other love interests feel like sad little plot points with limited personalities.
I am grateful to NetGalley and the publishers for giving me access to an ARC in exchange for my honest feedback.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 6, 2026
I just want to say that I was fully prepared to quietly dislike this book in private, but since the author has publicly claimed zionists are “review bombing” her and asking us all to go leave positive reviews as a result, I feel compelled to leave a review as an antizionist who just really did not like this book.
The promise that this book would not just be “smut” but would in fact be capital L Literary is an empty one. There are metaphors on top of metaphors, so they inevitably end up muddled. The writing is constantly striving for a richness that would be easily satisfied by simplicity, rather than what feels like a constant barrage of unwarranted complexity. The excessive figurative language doesn’t show a take or a new perspective, it rarely surprises, and I never felt like it added any dimension. More than anything, it takes space away from what the book needs most which is character development. I’ve never read such a long book and come away with a picture of only two characters (three of you count Naya but I really resent the picture of that character we are given).
There are a number of other issues - tokenization, a protagonist with no character arc - but the writing itself made this book almost impossible to get through.
Edit: I feel so strongly about how wrong it is to manipulate peoples’ sense of social justice for better book reviews that I’m adding a note about it here.
The promise that this book would not just be “smut” but would in fact be capital L Literary is an empty one. There are metaphors on top of metaphors, so they inevitably end up muddled. The writing is constantly striving for a richness that would be easily satisfied by simplicity, rather than what feels like a constant barrage of unwarranted complexity. The excessive figurative language doesn’t show a take or a new perspective, it rarely surprises, and I never felt like it added any dimension. More than anything, it takes space away from what the book needs most which is character development. I’ve never read such a long book and come away with a picture of only two characters (three of you count Naya but I really resent the picture of that character we are given).
There are a number of other issues - tokenization, a protagonist with no character arc - but the writing itself made this book almost impossible to get through.
Edit: I feel so strongly about how wrong it is to manipulate peoples’ sense of social justice for better book reviews that I’m adding a note about it here.
October 9, 2025
Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
This was an unfortunate miss for me. If I hadn’t been reading this book for a review I would’ve given up after about 10 pages. I am a fan of reading debut fiction, and I especially enjoy a complicated main character or unreliable narrator, but this completely missed the mark.
I do not like Bogen’s writing style. She writes as though every page is a poem, trying to stuff synonyms into sentences where they don’t belong until everything feels stilted. There are often long sections where it feels like the author is lecturing via the main character, Avra. Whenever this happened, I felt myself lose focus on the plot. I don’t think this monologuing style fits with fiction, and I agree with another reviewer that some of the content seems like it would better fit a series of essays rather than a novel. It seems clear the author is passionate about writing about queerness, but I think it was heavy handed on the telling instead of showing.
The characters in this book are underdeveloped. We learn little to nothing about Avra’s friends, her other relationships besides Kieran, and even her family members. I understand that this book is about Avra and Kieran, however, this lack of dimension was at times distracting. The author would mention a character and I would need to rack my brain to try to remember why they were important or relevant. I believe that the lack of character development, paired with the author’s tendency to tell the reader things about the main characters, rather than show them, makes this book feel like it needs additional work to be fully formed.
However, I could have overlooked some of these other points if it were not for the actual content of the book, which the author is marketing as a romance novel. I would not market this as romance due to the harmful content that it contains. Additionally, the author has argued extensively in her marketing of this book that this is a complicated narrative and that you don’t need to like the main characters - but I think this is dangerous due to how the book is written. You can write complex characters without giving them a pass for their problematic behavior, but I don’t feel that Bogen successfully does this. Very few characters actually serve as foils for Avra and Kieran, keeping them in check for their poor behavior. Nothing bad happens to either of them as a result of their poor behavior other than within their relationship. As a result, the plot feels underdeveloped to me. Additionally, I felt like things happened off the page that were integral to the plot (such as during the ending) where it took me a few reads to even understand what happened.
I do not recommend this book, and I would caution other readers before reading it.
This was an unfortunate miss for me. If I hadn’t been reading this book for a review I would’ve given up after about 10 pages. I am a fan of reading debut fiction, and I especially enjoy a complicated main character or unreliable narrator, but this completely missed the mark.
I do not like Bogen’s writing style. She writes as though every page is a poem, trying to stuff synonyms into sentences where they don’t belong until everything feels stilted. There are often long sections where it feels like the author is lecturing via the main character, Avra. Whenever this happened, I felt myself lose focus on the plot. I don’t think this monologuing style fits with fiction, and I agree with another reviewer that some of the content seems like it would better fit a series of essays rather than a novel. It seems clear the author is passionate about writing about queerness, but I think it was heavy handed on the telling instead of showing.
The characters in this book are underdeveloped. We learn little to nothing about Avra’s friends, her other relationships besides Kieran, and even her family members. I understand that this book is about Avra and Kieran, however, this lack of dimension was at times distracting. The author would mention a character and I would need to rack my brain to try to remember why they were important or relevant. I believe that the lack of character development, paired with the author’s tendency to tell the reader things about the main characters, rather than show them, makes this book feel like it needs additional work to be fully formed.
However, I could have overlooked some of these other points if it were not for the actual content of the book, which the author is marketing as a romance novel. I would not market this as romance due to the harmful content that it contains. Additionally, the author has argued extensively in her marketing of this book that this is a complicated narrative and that you don’t need to like the main characters - but I think this is dangerous due to how the book is written. You can write complex characters without giving them a pass for their problematic behavior, but I don’t feel that Bogen successfully does this. Very few characters actually serve as foils for Avra and Kieran, keeping them in check for their poor behavior. Nothing bad happens to either of them as a result of their poor behavior other than within their relationship. As a result, the plot feels underdeveloped to me. Additionally, I felt like things happened off the page that were integral to the plot (such as during the ending) where it took me a few reads to even understand what happened.
I do not recommend this book, and I would caution other readers before reading it.
February 5, 2026
I gave this book a go because I saw people comparing it to Heated Rivalry (LOVE LOVE LOVE), and having now read both I’m so pissed off that I need to get this off my chest, and frankly whoever compared this to Heated Rivalry needs to take a long walk on a short pier because other than characters being queer and there being smut scenes, these books are not the same AT ALL. It’s like saying if you like the movie Crazy Rich Asians you’ll like Parasite because both have Asian characters and touch on themes around classism, like???
The HR series very much sticks to the source materials, and as a result our beloved Hudson and Connor for whom I love dearly brings Shane and Ilya to life, but at the end of the day, the characters are adorable in both the books and the show.
In Queering Him, the characters, in particularly Avra is insufferable and frankly a bit of a shitty person even if she doesn’t think so (if anything that blind spot really amplifies how intolerable she can be). I’m not one for “perfect” characters, but you don’t have to be “perfect” to be insufferable, nor do you have to be insufferable to be “real”. I’ve since seen the author defend the character being like “just because they behave like that doesn’t mean I ENDORSE their behaviour”, but then you dig into the author’s social media (posts / stories / replies / comments etc) and it’s immediately obvious that she celebrates readers who adore and relate to Avra and all her “messiness” and “realness”. Girl please. Not all of us are fools.
Having had that rant, on the positive side:
1. The author clearly feels deeply and it comes through in the writing
2. The sex scenes were well written
At the end of the day, it’s great to have more queer representation in literature and I do like the author’s style of writing at times, and I don’t have an issue in general if the characters were messed up (because I do in fact LOVE a toxic main character), but the main character was so annoying and insufferable that I couldn’t get on her side which really detracted from the experience.
The HR series very much sticks to the source materials, and as a result our beloved Hudson and Connor for whom I love dearly brings Shane and Ilya to life, but at the end of the day, the characters are adorable in both the books and the show.
In Queering Him, the characters, in particularly Avra is insufferable and frankly a bit of a shitty person even if she doesn’t think so (if anything that blind spot really amplifies how intolerable she can be). I’m not one for “perfect” characters, but you don’t have to be “perfect” to be insufferable, nor do you have to be insufferable to be “real”. I’ve since seen the author defend the character being like “just because they behave like that doesn’t mean I ENDORSE their behaviour”, but then you dig into the author’s social media (posts / stories / replies / comments etc) and it’s immediately obvious that she celebrates readers who adore and relate to Avra and all her “messiness” and “realness”. Girl please. Not all of us are fools.
Having had that rant, on the positive side:
1. The author clearly feels deeply and it comes through in the writing
2. The sex scenes were well written
At the end of the day, it’s great to have more queer representation in literature and I do like the author’s style of writing at times, and I don’t have an issue in general if the characters were messed up (because I do in fact LOVE a toxic main character), but the main character was so annoying and insufferable that I couldn’t get on her side which really detracted from the experience.
January 20, 2026
At a baseline this book is harmful to the community it purports to belong to.
beyond that, it's marketed incorrectly- this is not a romance.
I was hoping to find my new favourite author and instead was disappointed and disturbed.
beyond that, it's marketed incorrectly- this is not a romance.
I was hoping to find my new favourite author and instead was disappointed and disturbed.
September 26, 2025
This book is going to be polarizing. You’re going to see 5 stars like mine and just as many 1 star reviews. Where you land is going to be deeply personal.
First, this isn’t a romance or erotica or something easily digestible like so much of the romantic fantasy that is so popular right now. It’s brutally real approaching first loves and queerness and high school and how truly complex we can be as people. You’re going to take turns loving and hating both Avra and Kieran. Maybe not loving… but you’ll absolutely recognize pieces of them in yourself.
I was truly blown away by the book. Even with the times I felt uncomfortable, even with the times I wanted to shake the main characters… I felt SEEN. I remember the intensity of first love, the obsession… The fear of rejection.
Katherine has written something special. It’s smart. Her word play creates beautiful imagery. All while still being a little messy and a little uncomfortable and you can’t help but feel something for these beautifully broken people. I’m looking forward to where the next book takes us because I know not to expect the simple solution of “and they lived happily ever after” with a white picket fence.
First, this isn’t a romance or erotica or something easily digestible like so much of the romantic fantasy that is so popular right now. It’s brutally real approaching first loves and queerness and high school and how truly complex we can be as people. You’re going to take turns loving and hating both Avra and Kieran. Maybe not loving… but you’ll absolutely recognize pieces of them in yourself.
I was truly blown away by the book. Even with the times I felt uncomfortable, even with the times I wanted to shake the main characters… I felt SEEN. I remember the intensity of first love, the obsession… The fear of rejection.
Katherine has written something special. It’s smart. Her word play creates beautiful imagery. All while still being a little messy and a little uncomfortable and you can’t help but feel something for these beautifully broken people. I’m looking forward to where the next book takes us because I know not to expect the simple solution of “and they lived happily ever after” with a white picket fence.
September 27, 2025
Katie's debut novel is fantastic. A real page-turner that was increasingly impossible to put down as the narrative built toward its tantalising peak.
For me, the novel is an intriguing journey into a fascinating queer world. The author's vivid passages ensure the reader can't help but be consumed by the rising tension. The passionate scenes are so descriptive that they can even infiltrate your dreams at night.
I wonder how much of this heart-shattering story was pure fiction and how much was influenced by the author's own experiences—perhaps a fantasy version of some past events or an alternative, imagined timeline.
I am already left wanting the next instalment of this trilogy. How long do we have to wait for book 2?
Rating: Five Stars. Highly recommended.
(Thank you to the author and NetGalley for the Advanced Reader Copy.)
For me, the novel is an intriguing journey into a fascinating queer world. The author's vivid passages ensure the reader can't help but be consumed by the rising tension. The passionate scenes are so descriptive that they can even infiltrate your dreams at night.
I wonder how much of this heart-shattering story was pure fiction and how much was influenced by the author's own experiences—perhaps a fantasy version of some past events or an alternative, imagined timeline.
I am already left wanting the next instalment of this trilogy. How long do we have to wait for book 2?
Rating: Five Stars. Highly recommended.
(Thank you to the author and NetGalley for the Advanced Reader Copy.)
January 23, 2026
Things that worked for me: I was surprised that I didn't hate that this was a bully romance. It's pretty rare for me to be able to look past that. But in this case, it's not glossed over at all and the main characters and the book all seem to be self-aware about it and that made it easier for me to accept. I did find the first two-thirds very engaging. I love a well-depicted party and when a book can remind me of how it felt to be in high school, and this book did that very well. In some ways, I found the characters relatable in the first half, and they remained resonant throughout. And this did feel very much like a love letter to queer, and particularly bi+, people.
Things where I'm on the fence (i.e., all the ways it ended up being too much): The main POV character is super pretentious. On the one hand, it felt authentic and kind of reminded me of how I felt reading Glitterland for the first time. In fact, my eventual love for Glitterland probably resulted in me having more patience for that characterization than I might have otherwise. But eventually I found Avra insufferable. I love a flawed character and I get that they both have their traumas they are managing and they are so young. But I didn't feel enough growth in Avra to be able to stomach all of it. Along the same lines: together these characters are M.E.S.S.Y. and dysfunctional. And to an extent, that is fun and entertaining, but it ended up being too much for me by the second half, again particularly with Avra. Also, I'm not informed enough to say for sure, but the kink stuff didn't sit right. Avra presents herself as very informed and I recognize that could be some unreliable narration but I'm not sure it's positioned that way.
Things that didn't work for me: Some light but distracting head hopping. Honestly this book was so heavy handed in almost every way. It starts out ok but as it goes on, it feels like there is a complete lack of subtlety and it felt very try hard. I now understand that this is book one of a trilogy but it is listed as a romance on NetGalley and this installment and I don't think I'm likely to bother picking up the next installment.
I received a digital Advance Reader Copy from NetGalley and the author in exchange for an honest review.
Things where I'm on the fence (i.e., all the ways it ended up being too much): The main POV character is super pretentious. On the one hand, it felt authentic and kind of reminded me of how I felt reading Glitterland for the first time. In fact, my eventual love for Glitterland probably resulted in me having more patience for that characterization than I might have otherwise. But eventually I found Avra insufferable. I love a flawed character and I get that they both have their traumas they are managing and they are so young. But I didn't feel enough growth in Avra to be able to stomach all of it. Along the same lines: together these characters are M.E.S.S.Y. and dysfunctional. And to an extent, that is fun and entertaining, but it ended up being too much for me by the second half, again particularly with Avra. Also, I'm not informed enough to say for sure, but the kink stuff didn't sit right. Avra presents herself as very informed and I recognize that could be some unreliable narration but I'm not sure it's positioned that way.
Things that didn't work for me: Some light but distracting head hopping. Honestly this book was so heavy handed in almost every way. It starts out ok but as it goes on, it feels like there is a complete lack of subtlety and it felt very try hard. I now understand that this is book one of a trilogy but it is listed as a romance on NetGalley and this installment and I don't think I'm likely to bother picking up the next installment.
I received a digital Advance Reader Copy from NetGalley and the author in exchange for an honest review.
November 20, 2025
Thank you NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
________
As a headsup, I really, really wanted to love this book.
Lets start with The Good:
One of the strongest elements of Queering Him is Bogen's voice and her literary style. The linguistic style is crisp, conversations feel natural (unless Avra is lecturing us), and at times quietly beautiful - there are passages where a metaphor lands so cleanly that it lingers. It is, at times, almost absurdly literal tho; if you are expecting fluff, you have come to the wrong book.
Moreover, I appreciated the tapestry of nerdy references peppered throughout (literary allusions, pop culture nods, subtle callbacks) that give the story texture and satisfy my nerdy self.
The Noteworthy / Mixed
However, while the prose and style shine, the execution is uneven. Avra and Kieran are difficult to empathise with. Their flaws (resentment, cruelty, obsession) are central to the plot, but at times they feel more like case studies of emotional damage and what unhealthy obsession and toxic relationships can do with and to people, than fully grounded people. Some moments that aim for emotional catharsis fall flat because I never really felt I cared about what they would become. Also, the dynamic between them swings so far into toxic territory that as a reader, I often felt ambivalent or alienated. I think the ambition is clear - this is meant to be messy, to resist tidy redemption - but that makes it a harder read to stick with. I must praise the author for the conceptual daring, but I am left wanting for character warmth or redemptive payoff. (I acknowledge that this is the first book of a planned trilogy, tho.)
The Ugly
Here’s where things drop off. Neither protagonist feels reliably trustworthy or sympathetic, the story often verges into frustrating territory: manipulative acts, repeated emotional harm, and unresolved guilt that isn’t satisfactorily addressed. It can feel like trauma porn at times; pain piled upon pain without enough emotional grounding or balance.Ultimately, I found myself more curious about what the author was trying to do than emotionally invested in what was happening. Whilst Avra's entitlement to dictacte, because she supposedly "just knew", what Kieran is supposed to feel leads to her overstepping his boundaries repeatedly, the end was toxic, even for her. Again, I understand and respect the author for presenting a character with complicated and unhealthy, problematic facet.
Something that has irked other reviewers as well as me is how the book also leans uncomfortably into the fetishisation of other queer people (lesbian, gay, or trans), treating queerness itself as a kind of aesthetic or transgressive experiment rather than a lived identity. It’s provocative, yes, but it can feel exploitative rather than insightful.
I think, overall, this is a provocative book, and I can see the quality of Bogen's writing shining through. It turned out to be, however, unfortunately, not a book for me.
________
As a headsup, I really, really wanted to love this book.
Lets start with The Good:
One of the strongest elements of Queering Him is Bogen's voice and her literary style. The linguistic style is crisp, conversations feel natural (unless Avra is lecturing us), and at times quietly beautiful - there are passages where a metaphor lands so cleanly that it lingers. It is, at times, almost absurdly literal tho; if you are expecting fluff, you have come to the wrong book.
Moreover, I appreciated the tapestry of nerdy references peppered throughout (literary allusions, pop culture nods, subtle callbacks) that give the story texture and satisfy my nerdy self.
The Noteworthy / Mixed
However, while the prose and style shine, the execution is uneven. Avra and Kieran are difficult to empathise with. Their flaws (resentment, cruelty, obsession) are central to the plot, but at times they feel more like case studies of emotional damage and what unhealthy obsession and toxic relationships can do with and to people, than fully grounded people. Some moments that aim for emotional catharsis fall flat because I never really felt I cared about what they would become. Also, the dynamic between them swings so far into toxic territory that as a reader, I often felt ambivalent or alienated. I think the ambition is clear - this is meant to be messy, to resist tidy redemption - but that makes it a harder read to stick with. I must praise the author for the conceptual daring, but I am left wanting for character warmth or redemptive payoff. (I acknowledge that this is the first book of a planned trilogy, tho.)
The Ugly
Here’s where things drop off. Neither protagonist feels reliably trustworthy or sympathetic, the story often verges into frustrating territory: manipulative acts, repeated emotional harm, and unresolved guilt that isn’t satisfactorily addressed. It can feel like trauma porn at times; pain piled upon pain without enough emotional grounding or balance.Ultimately, I found myself more curious about what the author was trying to do than emotionally invested in what was happening. Whilst Avra's entitlement to dictacte, because she supposedly "just knew", what Kieran is supposed to feel leads to her overstepping his boundaries repeatedly, the end was toxic, even for her. Again, I understand and respect the author for presenting a character with complicated and unhealthy, problematic facet.
Something that has irked other reviewers as well as me is how the book also leans uncomfortably into the fetishisation of other queer people (lesbian, gay, or trans), treating queerness itself as a kind of aesthetic or transgressive experiment rather than a lived identity. It’s provocative, yes, but it can feel exploitative rather than insightful.
I think, overall, this is a provocative book, and I can see the quality of Bogen's writing shining through. It turned out to be, however, unfortunately, not a book for me.
Currently reading
September 28, 2025**Full review to come.**
Some of the reviews on here very obviously frame bi attraction as inherently untrustworthy/fetishizing of “real” queers, especially in non-monogamous and gender diverse contexts. It’s very odd to see fictional “toxic yuri” being celebrated as entertaining and complex explorations of queerness, but then fictional “toxic” bi4bi (when *not* exclusively sapphic/wlw) is immediately problematic, distasteful, unnecessary to portray, and undeserving of being “centered”. I think folks are forgetting that this isn’t obligated to be a wholesome or educational book like in contemporary YA and romance genres. The lack of feelgood political correctness is actually entirely expected and isn’t a very insightful critique at all, and there are (some) other queer literary books that can give you “good bisexual” characters, who cause no collateral damage (and I have serious doubts, as always, to this sort of alleged damage to LGBTQ+ optics—ie respectability politics), if that’s the only kind you can stomach. This is one of the rare moments where I too feel resigned to criticizing booktok for making some folks forget reading is supposed to be an *activity* where both empathy and critical thinking, along with an eagerness for a compelling story, is engaged with realistic human experiences portrayed.
I am excited to finish my ARC and see for myself, but this is giving me disappointing deja vü after a year of witnessing sapphic books being reviewed unfairly harshly by readers who clearly look down on narratives entirely surrounding women.
Some of the reviews on here very obviously frame bi attraction as inherently untrustworthy/fetishizing of “real” queers, especially in non-monogamous and gender diverse contexts. It’s very odd to see fictional “toxic yuri” being celebrated as entertaining and complex explorations of queerness, but then fictional “toxic” bi4bi (when *not* exclusively sapphic/wlw) is immediately problematic, distasteful, unnecessary to portray, and undeserving of being “centered”. I think folks are forgetting that this isn’t obligated to be a wholesome or educational book like in contemporary YA and romance genres. The lack of feelgood political correctness is actually entirely expected and isn’t a very insightful critique at all, and there are (some) other queer literary books that can give you “good bisexual” characters, who cause no collateral damage (and I have serious doubts, as always, to this sort of alleged damage to LGBTQ+ optics—ie respectability politics), if that’s the only kind you can stomach. This is one of the rare moments where I too feel resigned to criticizing booktok for making some folks forget reading is supposed to be an *activity* where both empathy and critical thinking, along with an eagerness for a compelling story, is engaged with realistic human experiences portrayed.
I am excited to finish my ARC and see for myself, but this is giving me disappointing deja vü after a year of witnessing sapphic books being reviewed unfairly harshly by readers who clearly look down on narratives entirely surrounding women.
September 30, 2025
I received this book as an ARC. Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher and author for providing me a copy in exchange for my honest review.
I feel terrible doing this, but it was a DNF from me. I tried, I really tried - far beyond what I normally would. There are great ideas in here, some really interesting portions, and I think the author is very smart and I'd probably love her research/academic writing, but for a novel it was...just...too...much.
I am admittedly more plot driven that some readers, but the plot moved soooo slowly, with large jumps in time, and long periods of exposition (often multiple paragraphs restating almost the same things), metaphors on top of metaphors, etc. I wanted to see where the story would go, but the build up, the "will they" build up especially (of course they will, I assume, and once they do it will be much better and your message will make more sense - I just can't join you there), was simply too much.
I found myself quickly starting to skim, and then to look forward for quotation marks so that I could skip paragraphs or even pages at a time. Ultimately this novel needs A LOT of editing and, if fiction is going to be the vehicle, the story needs as much attention as the ideas for the ideas to truly be meaningful.
I feel terrible doing this, but it was a DNF from me. I tried, I really tried - far beyond what I normally would. There are great ideas in here, some really interesting portions, and I think the author is very smart and I'd probably love her research/academic writing, but for a novel it was...just...too...much.
I am admittedly more plot driven that some readers, but the plot moved soooo slowly, with large jumps in time, and long periods of exposition (often multiple paragraphs restating almost the same things), metaphors on top of metaphors, etc. I wanted to see where the story would go, but the build up, the "will they" build up especially (of course they will, I assume, and once they do it will be much better and your message will make more sense - I just can't join you there), was simply too much.
I found myself quickly starting to skim, and then to look forward for quotation marks so that I could skip paragraphs or even pages at a time. Ultimately this novel needs A LOT of editing and, if fiction is going to be the vehicle, the story needs as much attention as the ideas for the ideas to truly be meaningful.
February 17, 2026
I'm pretty torn on this and what to rate it. There are things to like here; I love messy, complicated characters. After a somewhat slow beginning, it's very readable and entertaining, but I guess I feel a bit misled by the marketing or the premise.
I'm bisexual and generally a fan of how the author speaks on bisexuality on social media; however, this book did not read as an exploration of two young queer people exploring their identities together.
The way that male bisexuality was essentially fetishized really took the enjoyment of that exploration out for me. That being said, Avra is a complicated character and I did enjoy her exploration, however toxic it was. I do like reading things that are fucked up and uncomfortable; the story succeeds here. It also awkwardly tries to acknowledge fetishizing dialogue in one pretty offensive and unnecessary conversation about trans women. The author does not acknowledge the fetishization through out the rest of the story.
All that being said, I really had a hard time caring about the high school drama and much of it read very YA. I can read high school YA, but it really felt a bit off-putting here. And largely, that is due to this book desperately needing an editor. I got used to the author's style after the beginning, but there are too many interjections, too much of what is very likely the author's self. To the point that it gets a bit annoying. An editor could have helped her decide if she was writing herself or a character.
I like messy, toxic things, like I said. And I really like the author. There's so much good here! And I seem to be in the minority with my thoughts on editing, but ultimately that is why I can't give this book 2 stars.
I'm bisexual and generally a fan of how the author speaks on bisexuality on social media; however, this book did not read as an exploration of two young queer people exploring their identities together.
The way that male bisexuality was essentially fetishized really took the enjoyment of that exploration out for me. That being said, Avra is a complicated character and I did enjoy her exploration, however toxic it was. I do like reading things that are fucked up and uncomfortable; the story succeeds here. It also awkwardly tries to acknowledge fetishizing dialogue in one pretty offensive and unnecessary conversation about trans women. The author does not acknowledge the fetishization through out the rest of the story.
All that being said, I really had a hard time caring about the high school drama and much of it read very YA. I can read high school YA, but it really felt a bit off-putting here. And largely, that is due to this book desperately needing an editor. I got used to the author's style after the beginning, but there are too many interjections, too much of what is very likely the author's self. To the point that it gets a bit annoying. An editor could have helped her decide if she was writing herself or a character.
I like messy, toxic things, like I said. And I really like the author. There's so much good here! And I seem to be in the minority with my thoughts on editing, but ultimately that is why I can't give this book 2 stars.
September 26, 2025
More literary that romance, Queering Him, the debut from Katherine Wela Bogen, is great. But, I may be bias — I went to high school with Bogen (sharing a class or two with her older sister). So proud to see published work from someone I know IRL.
OK, enough of my connection to the author — let’s get into what works (and what doesn’t) from the novel. Avra and Kieran spans years (always a fan) as the two form a bond. The overall story and dialogue are great with only the ending being my least favorite part (I guess mission accomplished?) It’s a fascinating portrayal of “a” queer relationship, not “the” queer relationship. As in, Bogen highlights the messy, imperfect elements some of us find ourselves in with our relationships, especially queer, good and bad. Think that’s why that ending felt like such a gut punch. My thanks to NetGalley and KWB for the ARC.
OK, enough of my connection to the author — let’s get into what works (and what doesn’t) from the novel. Avra and Kieran spans years (always a fan) as the two form a bond. The overall story and dialogue are great with only the ending being my least favorite part (I guess mission accomplished?) It’s a fascinating portrayal of “a” queer relationship, not “the” queer relationship. As in, Bogen highlights the messy, imperfect elements some of us find ourselves in with our relationships, especially queer, good and bad. Think that’s why that ending felt like such a gut punch. My thanks to NetGalley and KWB for the ARC.
September 23, 2025
I quite literally couldn't put this book down. The writing is so beautiful and pulls you in, in a way that had me reading for hours nonstop, even in the awful moments.
These characters are by all means not perfect people, so far from it that at points I wanted to scream please get therapy, but they felt so real and raw and their whole fucked up relationship was enticing.
Avra's absolute obsession with Kieran and the way she basically refuses to accept eventually loving him, and pushes him away was infuriating in the best way. In conversations of biphobia and comp het that happened in this book it struck me as so ironic that she couldn't see her own biphobia and I guess opposite of comp het? comp gay? She "accepted" herself as bi but refuses to actually accept falling for Kieran, a man, in constant fear of both being less gay, which is an identity she clings to desperately, and of him being too gay and not actually wanting her, while part of why she's into him IS that he's queer.
I loved Kieran's character growth, his seeing that despite it all Avra wasn't perfect and was actually really awful to him and fetishized his queerness and refused to let him choose how he wanted to go about it. The end of the book devastated me but him finally standing his ground and telling her she has actually done possibly irreparable damage to what they had this time was satisfying. I really can't wait to see more of these characters and hopefully more growth towards actually being better people.
These characters are by all means not perfect people, so far from it that at points I wanted to scream please get therapy, but they felt so real and raw and their whole fucked up relationship was enticing.
Avra's absolute obsession with Kieran and the way she basically refuses to accept eventually loving him, and pushes him away was infuriating in the best way. In conversations of biphobia and comp het that happened in this book it struck me as so ironic that she couldn't see her own biphobia and I guess opposite of comp het? comp gay? She "accepted" herself as bi but refuses to actually accept falling for Kieran, a man, in constant fear of both being less gay, which is an identity she clings to desperately, and of him being too gay and not actually wanting her, while part of why she's into him IS that he's queer.
I loved Kieran's character growth, his seeing that despite it all Avra wasn't perfect and was actually really awful to him and fetishized his queerness and refused to let him choose how he wanted to go about it. The end of the book devastated me but him finally standing his ground and telling her she has actually done possibly irreparable damage to what they had this time was satisfying. I really can't wait to see more of these characters and hopefully more growth towards actually being better people.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 27, 2025
ARC copy from NetGalley
It's strange to come across a novel that so perfectly captures what it feels like navigating bi-ness and heady first love during the last years of high school, and first years on university.
Avra and Kieran's story is definitely not my own but Bogen manages to capture the intensity of falling in love with a person who felt like an impossibility beautifully.
The characters are deeply flawed. It can be hard to read how hurt people hurt people. But I enjoyed that the novel didn't shy away from the messiness of navigating queerness and adulthood in a way that doesn't harm the individual or those around them.
This book is hot. It's erotic. I loved it. I've been following Bogen's journey online for a year or so now, and I was so curious about this book. I'm really happy that I got to read and review it, just as I found out it's one in a trilogy.
This is a stunning debut novel. I'm excited to see what the future brings for this author.
It's strange to come across a novel that so perfectly captures what it feels like navigating bi-ness and heady first love during the last years of high school, and first years on university.
Avra and Kieran's story is definitely not my own but Bogen manages to capture the intensity of falling in love with a person who felt like an impossibility beautifully.
The characters are deeply flawed. It can be hard to read how hurt people hurt people. But I enjoyed that the novel didn't shy away from the messiness of navigating queerness and adulthood in a way that doesn't harm the individual or those around them.
This book is hot. It's erotic. I loved it. I've been following Bogen's journey online for a year or so now, and I was so curious about this book. I'm really happy that I got to read and review it, just as I found out it's one in a trilogy.
This is a stunning debut novel. I'm excited to see what the future brings for this author.
September 28, 2025
Katherine Bogan’s Queering Him is tender, raw, and unforgettable and I can’t wait for the next book.
Reading it felt very personal. In my own wonderfully queer marriage, I’m still surprised sometimes by how alive and complicated my bisexuality can be. And with Avra and Kieran, I saw my own doubts, longings, messy truths, and love mirrored back to me.
The self-sabotage was painful to read, and more than once I had to set the book down because I knew it would gut me. But that honesty is what made it so real. And I genuinely delighted in how unapologetically kinky it was! Playful and intense and handled with care.
This story may be a bit much for some, but for me it felt like finally being understood.
//
Thank you to NetGalley and Katherine Bogan for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Reading it felt very personal. In my own wonderfully queer marriage, I’m still surprised sometimes by how alive and complicated my bisexuality can be. And with Avra and Kieran, I saw my own doubts, longings, messy truths, and love mirrored back to me.
The self-sabotage was painful to read, and more than once I had to set the book down because I knew it would gut me. But that honesty is what made it so real. And I genuinely delighted in how unapologetically kinky it was! Playful and intense and handled with care.
This story may be a bit much for some, but for me it felt like finally being understood.
//
Thank you to NetGalley and Katherine Bogan for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
January 21, 2026
This book was very hard to rate, I kept going back and forth between loving the prose (the way she describes how they want to devour and maim each other? gorgeous) and hating the fetishization and characters choices. This book also is purportedly a romance but it does not end with either a HEA or even HFN. If you expect your romance to end happily, look elsewhere.
I can't decide if Avra and Kieran are shitty flawed people in a 2 star way or a 5 star way. And ultimately I ended somewhere in the middle, especially after the ending. I can't imagine where the next 2 books will go and I'm not sure if I'm going to ever find out.
Thank you Cat's Elbow Books and NetGalley for this eARC in exchange for my honest review .
I can't decide if Avra and Kieran are shitty flawed people in a 2 star way or a 5 star way. And ultimately I ended somewhere in the middle, especially after the ending. I can't imagine where the next 2 books will go and I'm not sure if I'm going to ever find out.
Thank you Cat's Elbow Books and NetGalley for this eARC in exchange for my honest review .
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 15, 2026
Thank you to NetGalley for this ARC!
This book has angst beyond belief. It’s coming-of-age and self-discovery, jam-packed with tension spanning over years and years. At its very core it’s incredibly messy - which is the most accurate way to describe how life feels at the ages that Avra and Kieran are.
The important part to remember about this book is how flawed the characters are - because who wasn’t when you were 16 and thought you knew everything? There are layers of unresolved trauma on both sides and there’s internal and external biphobia being navigated here. It’s heavy and raw, and very very real, which is what makes it so heart-wrenching. It’s designed to make you feel uncomfortable and uneasy, it’s not written as a feel good rom-com.
Avra’s persistence and being so sure of herself opens as a fairly positive characteristic about her, but ends up causing that final conflict with Kieran at the end of the book. There are moments where Avra’s internal monologue and some of her dialogue with Kieran feel fetishtistic, serving as a glaring reminder that she is NOT perfect!
Kieran’s character was, like Avra, presented in a very obvious manner. He was written for you to assume every possible thing about him because you’ve likely met him before. A straight, white, cishet male. A jock. A bully. Then you get glimpses into his life and his world, more specifically through Avra’s eyes, and you as the reader will want so badly for him to let go and feel free, for him to embrace his sexuality. You nearly cheer Avra on when she pushes him until she pushes too far and it makes you go “Wait! No! Not like that!” By the end, your heart really breaks for Kieran because no one deserves that.
This book will haunt you and torment you, practically make you beg for the next one because you need to know how and IF they come back from the conflict at the end. Katherine Wela Bogen, congratulations on your debut. It was a mighty banger and I desperately need more.
This book has angst beyond belief. It’s coming-of-age and self-discovery, jam-packed with tension spanning over years and years. At its very core it’s incredibly messy - which is the most accurate way to describe how life feels at the ages that Avra and Kieran are.
The important part to remember about this book is how flawed the characters are - because who wasn’t when you were 16 and thought you knew everything? There are layers of unresolved trauma on both sides and there’s internal and external biphobia being navigated here. It’s heavy and raw, and very very real, which is what makes it so heart-wrenching. It’s designed to make you feel uncomfortable and uneasy, it’s not written as a feel good rom-com.
Avra’s persistence and being so sure of herself opens as a fairly positive characteristic about her, but ends up causing that final conflict with Kieran at the end of the book. There are moments where Avra’s internal monologue and some of her dialogue with Kieran feel fetishtistic, serving as a glaring reminder that she is NOT perfect!
Kieran’s character was, like Avra, presented in a very obvious manner. He was written for you to assume every possible thing about him because you’ve likely met him before. A straight, white, cishet male. A jock. A bully. Then you get glimpses into his life and his world, more specifically through Avra’s eyes, and you as the reader will want so badly for him to let go and feel free, for him to embrace his sexuality. You nearly cheer Avra on when she pushes him until she pushes too far and it makes you go “Wait! No! Not like that!” By the end, your heart really breaks for Kieran because no one deserves that.
This book will haunt you and torment you, practically make you beg for the next one because you need to know how and IF they come back from the conflict at the end. Katherine Wela Bogen, congratulations on your debut. It was a mighty banger and I desperately need more.
October 25, 2025
Omg, I was SO EXCITED to read this book as an ARC read courtesy of Katie & NetGalley. I took notes throughout the reading and will attempt to make this review cohesive, fresh off the ending.
My initial thoughts as I started was that Avra comes across as a SJW that is pretentious, narcissistic and condescending all while fighting for her beliefs that I very much agree with but the KNOW IT ALL of it all really grinded my gears and I acknowledged that while I tend to read for escapism, this book is very visceral and escapism is NOT what I will be experiencing in this book. The side remarks and afterthoughts captured with “()” felt like run on sentences at times and it was HARD for me to adjust to. BUT, I have been known to use “()” plenty myself and acknowledged Avra makes me think about my own privilege and feminism and read on.
Now, once I got into the story, and hit my first spicy scene, I LOVED the way Katie painted all the pictures and I found her descriptions to be absolutely ~electric~ I mean, THE SHOT SCENE???? THE LICK?!?! So hot 😭😭😭 it had absolutely the same effect on me as Fleabag’s “Kneel.” And I am forever searching and yearning for that same feeling again and again in my life.
There are times when the self loathing from Avra makes me want to absolutely shake her and strangle her and I WANT HER TO JUST LET HERSELF BE HAPPY AND BE HAPPY WITH KIERAN. Though this book is about the queer experience and the tangle of emotions enveloped in that experience, it’s also about how Avra explores a heteronormative relationship and godddddd I am such a hopeless romantic that I just wish endlessly for happy endings.
When Avra finally admits to herself that falling in love scares her I was like YES!!!!!! There is hope. Bc acknowledging that feeling is scary in itself but also freeing and oooof did that hit home for me.
I absolutely DEVOURED Chapter 20 and the bar scene after Thanksgiving when Kieran and Avra finally meet again and talk and fuck. The discussion was so vulnerable, so needed, so intimate. They finally acknowledged their fuck ups and hurt feelings and their insecurities were all out on the table and I loooove moments like these bc those are the scenes that stick with me as a reader and resonate and it’s TRUE connection happening in those moments. I loved the way Katie wrote from Kieran’s perspective and Avra’s perspective and how levelheaded they both were in that discussion. It showed growth. The fact that both of them were finally honest with their thoughts and feelings after YEARS of being avoidant *ugh* it just really made me cherish that chapter.
And then… THE ALLEY SCENE!!!!!!!!!! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 it was everything I wanted and MORE from a spicy scene and the fact that Katie gave it to us — I will be reliving it over and over again in my head for eternity so THANK YOU KATIE!
Finally, the ending. WOOF that ending. 😫 The pain. The sorrow. The absolute tragedy that Avra commits in a final act of self loathing. We see that despite her growth, she still isn’t ready to receive love and the inner conflict of being queer and navigating a heteronormative relationship is something she still can’t find peace with and the sabotage is devastating. She becomes the person she hates most in the world: someone who outs someone. All her fear and trauma culminates in this one moment and there is nothing, NOTHING, she can do or say to rectify it. It’s lonely. And then to sit with that ending, as Avra has to sit with herself and the echos of her decisions… it is ripe for even more growth in the next book but ooof it is an ending that will haunt readers until the next publication.
OVERALL? It felt rough at first but you truly experience the highs and lows of coming of age, familial trauma, navigating queerness, self loathing, different relationship dynamics and self expression. Katie takes you on a wild ride with Avra & Kieran and does a hell of a job describing each thought, each interaction, each spicy scene. I need to know what’s next for Avra and if, like their history, there will ever be another moment with Kieran. Thank you for being raw and real and drawing from real life. Congrats on your first self pub book!!!!!!
My initial thoughts as I started was that Avra comes across as a SJW that is pretentious, narcissistic and condescending all while fighting for her beliefs that I very much agree with but the KNOW IT ALL of it all really grinded my gears and I acknowledged that while I tend to read for escapism, this book is very visceral and escapism is NOT what I will be experiencing in this book. The side remarks and afterthoughts captured with “()” felt like run on sentences at times and it was HARD for me to adjust to. BUT, I have been known to use “()” plenty myself and acknowledged Avra makes me think about my own privilege and feminism and read on.
Now, once I got into the story, and hit my first spicy scene, I LOVED the way Katie painted all the pictures and I found her descriptions to be absolutely ~electric~ I mean, THE SHOT SCENE???? THE LICK?!?! So hot 😭😭😭 it had absolutely the same effect on me as Fleabag’s “Kneel.” And I am forever searching and yearning for that same feeling again and again in my life.
There are times when the self loathing from Avra makes me want to absolutely shake her and strangle her and I WANT HER TO JUST LET HERSELF BE HAPPY AND BE HAPPY WITH KIERAN. Though this book is about the queer experience and the tangle of emotions enveloped in that experience, it’s also about how Avra explores a heteronormative relationship and godddddd I am such a hopeless romantic that I just wish endlessly for happy endings.
When Avra finally admits to herself that falling in love scares her I was like YES!!!!!! There is hope. Bc acknowledging that feeling is scary in itself but also freeing and oooof did that hit home for me.
I absolutely DEVOURED Chapter 20 and the bar scene after Thanksgiving when Kieran and Avra finally meet again and talk and fuck. The discussion was so vulnerable, so needed, so intimate. They finally acknowledged their fuck ups and hurt feelings and their insecurities were all out on the table and I loooove moments like these bc those are the scenes that stick with me as a reader and resonate and it’s TRUE connection happening in those moments. I loved the way Katie wrote from Kieran’s perspective and Avra’s perspective and how levelheaded they both were in that discussion. It showed growth. The fact that both of them were finally honest with their thoughts and feelings after YEARS of being avoidant *ugh* it just really made me cherish that chapter.
And then… THE ALLEY SCENE!!!!!!!!!! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 it was everything I wanted and MORE from a spicy scene and the fact that Katie gave it to us — I will be reliving it over and over again in my head for eternity so THANK YOU KATIE!
Finally, the ending. WOOF that ending. 😫 The pain. The sorrow. The absolute tragedy that Avra commits in a final act of self loathing. We see that despite her growth, she still isn’t ready to receive love and the inner conflict of being queer and navigating a heteronormative relationship is something she still can’t find peace with and the sabotage is devastating. She becomes the person she hates most in the world: someone who outs someone. All her fear and trauma culminates in this one moment and there is nothing, NOTHING, she can do or say to rectify it. It’s lonely. And then to sit with that ending, as Avra has to sit with herself and the echos of her decisions… it is ripe for even more growth in the next book but ooof it is an ending that will haunt readers until the next publication.
OVERALL? It felt rough at first but you truly experience the highs and lows of coming of age, familial trauma, navigating queerness, self loathing, different relationship dynamics and self expression. Katie takes you on a wild ride with Avra & Kieran and does a hell of a job describing each thought, each interaction, each spicy scene. I need to know what’s next for Avra and if, like their history, there will ever be another moment with Kieran. Thank you for being raw and real and drawing from real life. Congrats on your first self pub book!!!!!!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 16, 2026
Gratefully received as an ARC from NetGalley.
I'm not sure what this book is trying to say. It's not a romance. There's basically no romantic connection here at all. It is telling what it's like to grow up bisexual and discovering your kinky side but in the most chaotic way possible.
I didn't like or even really feel connected to Avra at all throughout the book. I was tempted to stop reading at least three times. I found her petulant, even as the 20yo she was at the end, and that didn't feel right to me. I dont remember that level of childishness at that age, but it has been twenty years since I was 20 years old.
The side characters felt barely fleshed out, which gave it a bit of a fanfic feel. Like we should ignore the wider world around Avra and Keiran unless it impacts them directly. Avra's lack of care towards Ellie and Marcos fight cemented my dislike of her. Because it inconvenienced her, she didn't seem to care.
I think I would have preferred the entire story written from Keiran's perspective, to be honest.
On the fanfic note. This read very similar to 50 shades of Grey to me. An adapted fanfic. The assumption being made that you're only interested in the ship and not the wider story. The lack of description of other characters and hardly any world descriptions. As though the writer has assumed you already know and can flesh that out yourself.
I also found the initial fat positivity false when Avra 'glows up', with her being referenced by Keiran later to be dainty, etc.
The things this book seemed to get right like Naya's gold star attitude, the collective scenting of gayness in the high school setting and the spicy scenes just felt overwhelmed by the things that felt off to me.
I'm not sure what this book is trying to say. It's not a romance. There's basically no romantic connection here at all. It is telling what it's like to grow up bisexual and discovering your kinky side but in the most chaotic way possible.
I didn't like or even really feel connected to Avra at all throughout the book. I was tempted to stop reading at least three times. I found her petulant, even as the 20yo she was at the end, and that didn't feel right to me. I dont remember that level of childishness at that age, but it has been twenty years since I was 20 years old.
The side characters felt barely fleshed out, which gave it a bit of a fanfic feel. Like we should ignore the wider world around Avra and Keiran unless it impacts them directly. Avra's lack of care towards Ellie and Marcos fight cemented my dislike of her. Because it inconvenienced her, she didn't seem to care.
I think I would have preferred the entire story written from Keiran's perspective, to be honest.
On the fanfic note. This read very similar to 50 shades of Grey to me. An adapted fanfic. The assumption being made that you're only interested in the ship and not the wider story. The lack of description of other characters and hardly any world descriptions. As though the writer has assumed you already know and can flesh that out yourself.
I also found the initial fat positivity false when Avra 'glows up', with her being referenced by Keiran later to be dainty, etc.
The things this book seemed to get right like Naya's gold star attitude, the collective scenting of gayness in the high school setting and the spicy scenes just felt overwhelmed by the things that felt off to me.
October 1, 2025
I could not put this down. You could not have wrestled this ARC from my hands if you tried.
This is the kind of writing that can only come from someone who is so overwhelmingly alive that it can really, really hurt. It's unreal that this is a debut, really - the confidence of this incredibly vibrant voice and the craft of this prose is stunning. Katherine has a mindboggling gift for tension, for wringing every drop out of a moment, and then just one more.
The characters are simply - real. Manifold. Incredibly complex and not yet figured out. Their relationships are, too. Sure, there's toxicity, as there is in everyone and everything. But that's unbelievably real and compelling. I felt so very seen in the way Avra's thoughts are ripped through on the page - vulnerable and shameful, at times, unprecedented, confusing, consuming. I don't need to see characters that have been put through a morality figure. Characters do not need to be representative of an entire demographic. Avra is just Avra, navigating a world that was not built with her in mind, even the parts that she tried to build for herself. (And, like, with that, she also represents multitudes. Because *duality,* which is, actually, in case you missed it, the whole point.)
It's incredible writing. It does my favorite thing, which is describing things in ways I would never have thought of, which consequently make me go, "Yes, absolutely, that's totally it." The smut writing is literally top. Effing. Tier. It does not get better than this. The dialogues are tight and efficient but fearless in their expansiveness. Avra's tirades go on a little too long, but that's how a tirade works, so even that is correct. The depiction of disassociation stopped me in my tracks, because yes, that's exactly how that works, and ouch, and I'm sorry, and thanks. I am already craving the next books.
Yeah, I loved this. I'll recommend it to everyone I can. I don't have a right to be proud, because I had nothing to do with this, and yet? I'll read anything Katherine writes, and the list of authors I feel that way about isn't that long. When I buy this in hard copy, it'll be one of the books that I keep close so I can worry the edge with my fingers and think about how much I love it. Cool, I'll stop now before I embarrass myself further.
This is the kind of writing that can only come from someone who is so overwhelmingly alive that it can really, really hurt. It's unreal that this is a debut, really - the confidence of this incredibly vibrant voice and the craft of this prose is stunning. Katherine has a mindboggling gift for tension, for wringing every drop out of a moment, and then just one more.
The characters are simply - real. Manifold. Incredibly complex and not yet figured out. Their relationships are, too. Sure, there's toxicity, as there is in everyone and everything. But that's unbelievably real and compelling. I felt so very seen in the way Avra's thoughts are ripped through on the page - vulnerable and shameful, at times, unprecedented, confusing, consuming. I don't need to see characters that have been put through a morality figure. Characters do not need to be representative of an entire demographic. Avra is just Avra, navigating a world that was not built with her in mind, even the parts that she tried to build for herself. (And, like, with that, she also represents multitudes. Because *duality,* which is, actually, in case you missed it, the whole point.)
It's incredible writing. It does my favorite thing, which is describing things in ways I would never have thought of, which consequently make me go, "Yes, absolutely, that's totally it." The smut writing is literally top. Effing. Tier. It does not get better than this. The dialogues are tight and efficient but fearless in their expansiveness. Avra's tirades go on a little too long, but that's how a tirade works, so even that is correct. The depiction of disassociation stopped me in my tracks, because yes, that's exactly how that works, and ouch, and I'm sorry, and thanks. I am already craving the next books.
Yeah, I loved this. I'll recommend it to everyone I can. I don't have a right to be proud, because I had nothing to do with this, and yet? I'll read anything Katherine writes, and the list of authors I feel that way about isn't that long. When I buy this in hard copy, it'll be one of the books that I keep close so I can worry the edge with my fingers and think about how much I love it. Cool, I'll stop now before I embarrass myself further.
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