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Unburdened: The Christian Leader's Path to Sexual Integrity
You're not the only one. The question is not whether you struggle with sexual integrity, but how you struggle. Male Christian leaders are among Satan?s primary targets for sexual sin and temptation, but many men are still burdened by past and current mistakes, needlessly struggling with shame and silence. Michael Todd Wilson understands these challenges and provides honest, grace-filled counsel drawn from years of experience helping men pursue greater sexual integrity. He uncovers the everyday tendencies that keep us from overcoming our personal obstacles and provides fresh ideas to live in the light. Unburdened is perfect for individuals, groups or one-on-one mentoring relationships. Whether you're still living with hidden sin or continuing to distance yourself further from its reach, step into the path of an expanding freedom to move beyond the sexual restraints that so easily bind us all.
153 pages, Paperback
First published September 24, 2015
4 people are currently reading
12 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
September 18, 2021
Just a heads’ up that we’re now heading into a couple posts about nonfiction / spiritual books - and a lot of the time I’m really only interested in nonfiction if it’s a serious topic where I want to learn more from an expert in the field, whatever that field is. Maybe you’ll find these next few recommendations/reviews helpful, maybe you won’t! I just always feel the need to document, especially as I work my way up to 30 books for the year.
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You know how sometimes you’re on the last page of checkout online and then you see that there’s another tab for clearance items? That’s where I found UNBURDENED: THE CHRISTIAN LEADER’S PATH TO SEXUAL INTEGRITY from InterVarsity Press around December. Since it was on clearance, though, I’m not sure how many copies are in circulation, but honestly there probably aren’t enough. This is definitely an uncomfortable topic, but one that can lead to so much growth if we’re willing to talk about it. Thankfully the author, Michael Todd Wilson, is.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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By blending the stories of men he’s counseled over the years, which showed a variety of different ways that we can fall short inwardly while still being actively engaged in ministry outwardly, author Michael Todd Wilson walks the reader through practical steps to pursuing wholeness for both our private, and consequently, our public selves. (Sidenote: I’ve been watching a lot of THE MORNING SHOW on AppleTV+ and let me tell you, Steve Carell’s character there is no harmless Michael Scott - Season 1’s ten episodes offer some serious looks at when sexual misconduct goes unchecked.)
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I’m constantly having to learn and remind myself that Jesus’ goal isn’t to get us to a point where we don’t need Him. So much of my job is about trying to get teenagers to a place where they don’t need me anymore: whether it’s to force them to read for an assignment (so that they’re reading at all), or to explain what a text means after they’ve read it, etc, my goal is to help them build the skills and self-efficacy that they need to do those things on their own in the future. Jesus isn’t like that though - He knows (and intends) that we’re always going to need Him, and this book does a great job of explaining and helping the reader accept that reality.
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Wilson’s main theme, and it’s even the first sentence of the blurb on the back of the book, is YOU’RE NOT THE ONLY ONE. How important this is to remember - guys, you’re not alone in the struggle, and you’re not alone in wanting the internal and external life to be consistent. Several times throughout the book, the author emphasizes the power of DISCLOSURE rather than DISCOVERY - don’t wait until someone else finds out about an addiction or sin pattern; it’s always better to take control by being the first to share. Beyond the main chapters themselves, there are appendices in the back full of helpful tips and actionable steps. I feel like this book is wasted, though, if I’m the last one to read it - I’ve got at least my one copy and am happy to lend it to anyone who wants to borrow and talk about it (after Tuesday, though, I guess); no judgment if you want to send me a text or DM to set it up - the sooner the better.
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In the interest of being a critical thinker and reader, though, I do also want to recognize that the author doesn’t have a particularly current or active online presence - in fact, his most recent tweet is from 2017 and a quote from Ravi Zacharias (ironic), so honestly that might mean that something as recent as 2015, when this book was published, has already been outdated. I haven’t found anything glaring about the author being part of any scandals though, so it’s probably okay still to take this book seriously. Again, let me know if you want to borrow it!
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#leadership #integritymatters #healing #accountability #ZackReads2021 #book18of30
.
You know how sometimes you’re on the last page of checkout online and then you see that there’s another tab for clearance items? That’s where I found UNBURDENED: THE CHRISTIAN LEADER’S PATH TO SEXUAL INTEGRITY from InterVarsity Press around December. Since it was on clearance, though, I’m not sure how many copies are in circulation, but honestly there probably aren’t enough. This is definitely an uncomfortable topic, but one that can lead to so much growth if we’re willing to talk about it. Thankfully the author, Michael Todd Wilson, is.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
.
By blending the stories of men he’s counseled over the years, which showed a variety of different ways that we can fall short inwardly while still being actively engaged in ministry outwardly, author Michael Todd Wilson walks the reader through practical steps to pursuing wholeness for both our private, and consequently, our public selves. (Sidenote: I’ve been watching a lot of THE MORNING SHOW on AppleTV+ and let me tell you, Steve Carell’s character there is no harmless Michael Scott - Season 1’s ten episodes offer some serious looks at when sexual misconduct goes unchecked.)
.
I’m constantly having to learn and remind myself that Jesus’ goal isn’t to get us to a point where we don’t need Him. So much of my job is about trying to get teenagers to a place where they don’t need me anymore: whether it’s to force them to read for an assignment (so that they’re reading at all), or to explain what a text means after they’ve read it, etc, my goal is to help them build the skills and self-efficacy that they need to do those things on their own in the future. Jesus isn’t like that though - He knows (and intends) that we’re always going to need Him, and this book does a great job of explaining and helping the reader accept that reality.
.
Wilson’s main theme, and it’s even the first sentence of the blurb on the back of the book, is YOU’RE NOT THE ONLY ONE. How important this is to remember - guys, you’re not alone in the struggle, and you’re not alone in wanting the internal and external life to be consistent. Several times throughout the book, the author emphasizes the power of DISCLOSURE rather than DISCOVERY - don’t wait until someone else finds out about an addiction or sin pattern; it’s always better to take control by being the first to share. Beyond the main chapters themselves, there are appendices in the back full of helpful tips and actionable steps. I feel like this book is wasted, though, if I’m the last one to read it - I’ve got at least my one copy and am happy to lend it to anyone who wants to borrow and talk about it (after Tuesday, though, I guess); no judgment if you want to send me a text or DM to set it up - the sooner the better.
.
In the interest of being a critical thinker and reader, though, I do also want to recognize that the author doesn’t have a particularly current or active online presence - in fact, his most recent tweet is from 2017 and a quote from Ravi Zacharias (ironic), so honestly that might mean that something as recent as 2015, when this book was published, has already been outdated. I haven’t found anything glaring about the author being part of any scandals though, so it’s probably okay still to take this book seriously. Again, let me know if you want to borrow it!
.
#leadership #integritymatters #healing #accountability #ZackReads2021 #book18of30
December 29, 2020
Better than most. No breathless hyperventilating here, but some wise advice. All the more prescient in the light of the Ravi Zacharias disclosures. Came recommended from a reading list on Dr. Tim Lane's website.
October 1, 2018
So helpful! A must read for any man wanting to grow into a man with sexual integrity!
July 28, 2020
Specific rating: 2.5 stars.
This is a good and much needed resource for religious men - an invitation to be transparent on the topic of sexual integrity. I would recommend it.
This is a good and much needed resource for religious men - an invitation to be transparent on the topic of sexual integrity. I would recommend it.
December 22, 2015
Michael Todd Wilson, is the co-author of Soul Virgins(Baker Books, 2006) and Preventing Ministry Failure (IVP, 2007). and a licensed professional counselor and has worked with men struggling in the realm of sexual sin. Unburdened: The Christian Leader's Path to Sexual Integrity is his new book, designed to help clergy, ministry leaders, and denominational elders work towards sexual wholeness.
9780830844326A 2009 study conducted by Texas Tech University revealed that out 460 male clergy, twenty percent accessed pornography at least twice a month (12). Earlier studies showed that thirty-five to fifty percent of ministers struggle with pornography (13). Pornography is just one way that the sexuality of Christian leaders goes off the rails; pastors go to strip clubs, visit prostitutes on business trips, masturbate, have affairs, entertain lustful fantasy, etc. Wilson observes, "There is not a one of us who doesn't face real challengesto our personal integrity" (20). Though this manifests itself in different ways with each of us.
Wilson's focus is on male sexuality. While he acknowledges that men and women are equally susceptible to sexual temptation, women were historically 'most vulnerable emotionally and relationally,' and men 'tend more toward the visual and the physical' (34). Wilson sees this changing in recent decades with what he calls "the masculinizing of femininity, and the feminizing of masculinity" (35). However there is nothing practical here for women Christian leaders. Wilson's insights promote sexual integrity for male Christian leaders.
Wilson observes that men are put on the defensive and further isolated by the question, "Do you you struggle with sexual integrity?" He asks instead, " How do you struggle with sexual integrity?" (12). Wilson aims at helping men press past their disconnection, isolation, pride and self sufficiency in their struggle with sexual temptation to pursue a grace-based pathway to sexual wholeness.
Wilson explores the disciplines that will help Christian leaders live lives of sexual integrity: the discipline of surrender (commitment to God's plan for our sexuality and accepting corresponding systems of accountability), the discipline of radical honesty with self, the discipline of 'non-ministry' God time, discipline of body maintenance (proper sleep, nutrition and exercise).
Because Wilson emphasizes grace, he advocates small steps in each of these areas and honest disclosure when we fail. Three Appendices at the end of the book provide action steps for the strugglng, advice for mentoring other men along this path, and a bibliography of additional resources for sexual wholeness.
For those stuck in the throes of sexual temptation, Wilson has a good deal of sage advice. He weds practical, psychological insights with biblical convictions. I think this would work well for a men's group, a male small group, or gathering of male Christian leaders. For these sorts of groups this is a helpful resource. I appreciate Wilson's strong emphasis on authenticity, relationship and grace. I give this four stars.
Note: I received this book from InterVarsity Press in exchange for my honest review.
9780830844326A 2009 study conducted by Texas Tech University revealed that out 460 male clergy, twenty percent accessed pornography at least twice a month (12). Earlier studies showed that thirty-five to fifty percent of ministers struggle with pornography (13). Pornography is just one way that the sexuality of Christian leaders goes off the rails; pastors go to strip clubs, visit prostitutes on business trips, masturbate, have affairs, entertain lustful fantasy, etc. Wilson observes, "There is not a one of us who doesn't face real challengesto our personal integrity" (20). Though this manifests itself in different ways with each of us.
Wilson's focus is on male sexuality. While he acknowledges that men and women are equally susceptible to sexual temptation, women were historically 'most vulnerable emotionally and relationally,' and men 'tend more toward the visual and the physical' (34). Wilson sees this changing in recent decades with what he calls "the masculinizing of femininity, and the feminizing of masculinity" (35). However there is nothing practical here for women Christian leaders. Wilson's insights promote sexual integrity for male Christian leaders.
Wilson observes that men are put on the defensive and further isolated by the question, "Do you you struggle with sexual integrity?" He asks instead, " How do you struggle with sexual integrity?" (12). Wilson aims at helping men press past their disconnection, isolation, pride and self sufficiency in their struggle with sexual temptation to pursue a grace-based pathway to sexual wholeness.
Wilson explores the disciplines that will help Christian leaders live lives of sexual integrity: the discipline of surrender (commitment to God's plan for our sexuality and accepting corresponding systems of accountability), the discipline of radical honesty with self, the discipline of 'non-ministry' God time, discipline of body maintenance (proper sleep, nutrition and exercise).
Because Wilson emphasizes grace, he advocates small steps in each of these areas and honest disclosure when we fail. Three Appendices at the end of the book provide action steps for the strugglng, advice for mentoring other men along this path, and a bibliography of additional resources for sexual wholeness.
For those stuck in the throes of sexual temptation, Wilson has a good deal of sage advice. He weds practical, psychological insights with biblical convictions. I think this would work well for a men's group, a male small group, or gathering of male Christian leaders. For these sorts of groups this is a helpful resource. I appreciate Wilson's strong emphasis on authenticity, relationship and grace. I give this four stars.
Note: I received this book from InterVarsity Press in exchange for my honest review.
September 20, 2015
In Unburdened: The Christian Leader’s Path to Sexual Integrity, Michael Todd Wilson begins to address these challenges and provides guidance for those who happen to be Christian leaders and are seeking greater sexual integrity. Rather than asking “Do you struggle with sexual integrity?” he asks “How do you struggle with sexual integrity.” He takes an approach which recognizes that sexuality is an inherent part of our humanity and that at least some part of our sexuality has been marred by the fall. However this book doesn’t just say “change!” This book encourages Christian leaders to find growth in light of God’s grace.
Wilson encourages Christian men to take small but intentional steps toward integrity. He encourages men in leadership to take the risk of forming relationships with safe men who can encourage them toward greater sexual integrity. He encourages the reader to learn from others who have experienced victory in this area. He also encourages honesty and confession.
Ultimately what I like the most about this book is that he encourages the reader towards a grace-based approach rather than a duty/works based approach to growing in integrity. He argues that doing the right thing simply because its what we ought to do or because we feel guilty won’t sustain lasting change. He says that we need to be motivated by grace and not law. We need to be fired up by a passion for what’s right rather than merely the call of duty. His Grace-based approach is what makes this book stand out above other books about sexual purity.
I highly recommend this book for any Christian leader who wants to grow in their sexual integrity (there is always room for growth). But the group I would most highly recommend this book to is small group leaders (especially of men’s groups). I can see this resource being used to great effect in men’s small groups or as a resource being used to equip small group leaders who are constantly faced with the sexual integrity issues in their small group.
Note: I received this book courtesy of IVP in exchange for an impartial review.
Wilson encourages Christian men to take small but intentional steps toward integrity. He encourages men in leadership to take the risk of forming relationships with safe men who can encourage them toward greater sexual integrity. He encourages the reader to learn from others who have experienced victory in this area. He also encourages honesty and confession.
Ultimately what I like the most about this book is that he encourages the reader towards a grace-based approach rather than a duty/works based approach to growing in integrity. He argues that doing the right thing simply because its what we ought to do or because we feel guilty won’t sustain lasting change. He says that we need to be motivated by grace and not law. We need to be fired up by a passion for what’s right rather than merely the call of duty. His Grace-based approach is what makes this book stand out above other books about sexual purity.
I highly recommend this book for any Christian leader who wants to grow in their sexual integrity (there is always room for growth). But the group I would most highly recommend this book to is small group leaders (especially of men’s groups). I can see this resource being used to great effect in men’s small groups or as a resource being used to equip small group leaders who are constantly faced with the sexual integrity issues in their small group.
Note: I received this book courtesy of IVP in exchange for an impartial review.
September 14, 2015
Michael Todd Wilson, Unburdened: The Christian Leader’s Path to Sexual Integrity (Downers Grove, IL: IVP Books, 2015). Paperback
If you are a male Christian leader struggling with sexual temptation, I encourage you to read Unburdened today. It traces a path toward sexual integrity that you can begin to walk immediately. Michael Todd Wilson discusses topics such as
Risk factors that men generally and leaders particularly face when it comes to sexual temptation
The importance of adopting a grace-based rather than performance-driven approach to sexual integrity
Spiritual disciplines that move you toward sexual integrity, including: surrender, radical honesty, non-ministry God time, body maintenance, and intimate relationships
Whether your struggle involves pornography or inappropriate relationships, Unburdened will help you move toward “temptation-resistant transformation.” Not temptation-free transformation, mind you. Temptation remains with us all till Christ perfects us. Even so, resisting sexual temptation can become a new normal.
Wilson includes three appendices: “Sexual Integrity Action Steps” (a checklist for the spiritual disciplines listed above), “Mentoring and Leading Other Men Along the Path,” and “Additional Resources” (both in print and online). This is a welcome book on a topic that affects many, if not most, male Christian leaders.
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P.S. If you found my review helpful, please vote “Yes” on my Amazon.com review page.
If you are a male Christian leader struggling with sexual temptation, I encourage you to read Unburdened today. It traces a path toward sexual integrity that you can begin to walk immediately. Michael Todd Wilson discusses topics such as
Risk factors that men generally and leaders particularly face when it comes to sexual temptation
The importance of adopting a grace-based rather than performance-driven approach to sexual integrity
Spiritual disciplines that move you toward sexual integrity, including: surrender, radical honesty, non-ministry God time, body maintenance, and intimate relationships
Whether your struggle involves pornography or inappropriate relationships, Unburdened will help you move toward “temptation-resistant transformation.” Not temptation-free transformation, mind you. Temptation remains with us all till Christ perfects us. Even so, resisting sexual temptation can become a new normal.
Wilson includes three appendices: “Sexual Integrity Action Steps” (a checklist for the spiritual disciplines listed above), “Mentoring and Leading Other Men Along the Path,” and “Additional Resources” (both in print and online). This is a welcome book on a topic that affects many, if not most, male Christian leaders.
-----
P.S. If you found my review helpful, please vote “Yes” on my Amazon.com review page.
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