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A Final Girl's Guide To The Horrors Of Dating
Ghosting. Love bombing. Situationships. Narcissists.
If you’ve ever left a date wondering “what the hell just happened?” — you’re not alone.
In A Final Girl’s Guide to the Horrors of Dating, relationship podcaster and modern dating commentator Rory Uphold turns the chaos of modern love into something far more a survival guide.
Because modern dating isn’t a rom-com, it’s a horror movie.
Part brutally honest memoir and part practical dating playbook, this wickedly funny book helps women break toxic dating patterns, trust their instincts, and stop wasting time on the wrong relationships.
Using the horror-movie trope of the Final Girl — the one woman smart enough to survive the monsters — Rory shows readers how to navigate the real villains of modern narcissists, emotional unavailability, toxic relationship dynamics, and the inner beliefs that keep us stuck.
Inside, you’ll learn how
• Spot red flags early (before you’re six months into a situationship)
• Break repeating dating patterns and choose partners differently
• Avoid narcissists, love bombers, and emotionally unavailable partners
• Stop over-investing in the wrong relationships
• Heal after heartbreak and rebuild your confidence
• Release shame and societal pressure around being single
• Create a dating life aligned with the love you actually want
Blending sharp humor, real stories, and practical insight, A Final Girl’s Guide to the Horrors of Dating is the dating book for women navigating love in the age of apps, ghosting, and modern relationship chaos.
If you enjoyed modern dating books like How to Not Die Alone or Single on Purpose, this book offers a fresh, brutally honest take on how to date smarter, trust yourself, and stop repeating the same romantic mistakes.
You’ll laugh. You’ll cringe. You’ll definitely recognize a few exes.
But by the end, you’ll remember something
The Final Girl doesn’t just survive.
She chooses better. (And you will too.)
If you’ve ever left a date wondering “what the hell just happened?” — you’re not alone.
In A Final Girl’s Guide to the Horrors of Dating, relationship podcaster and modern dating commentator Rory Uphold turns the chaos of modern love into something far more a survival guide.
Because modern dating isn’t a rom-com, it’s a horror movie.
Part brutally honest memoir and part practical dating playbook, this wickedly funny book helps women break toxic dating patterns, trust their instincts, and stop wasting time on the wrong relationships.
Using the horror-movie trope of the Final Girl — the one woman smart enough to survive the monsters — Rory shows readers how to navigate the real villains of modern narcissists, emotional unavailability, toxic relationship dynamics, and the inner beliefs that keep us stuck.
Inside, you’ll learn how
• Spot red flags early (before you’re six months into a situationship)
• Break repeating dating patterns and choose partners differently
• Avoid narcissists, love bombers, and emotionally unavailable partners
• Stop over-investing in the wrong relationships
• Heal after heartbreak and rebuild your confidence
• Release shame and societal pressure around being single
• Create a dating life aligned with the love you actually want
Blending sharp humor, real stories, and practical insight, A Final Girl’s Guide to the Horrors of Dating is the dating book for women navigating love in the age of apps, ghosting, and modern relationship chaos.
If you enjoyed modern dating books like How to Not Die Alone or Single on Purpose, this book offers a fresh, brutally honest take on how to date smarter, trust yourself, and stop repeating the same romantic mistakes.
You’ll laugh. You’ll cringe. You’ll definitely recognize a few exes.
But by the end, you’ll remember something
The Final Girl doesn’t just survive.
She chooses better. (And you will too.)
322 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 1, 2025
About the author
Rory Uphold
2 booksRory Uphold is a multi-hyphenate creator, performer, and accidental dating anthropologist. She began her writing career in music as a songwriter before transitioning into television, where she’s developed and sold original shows to your favorite networks. Rory lives in Los Angeles, where she hosts a podcast and regularly shares snippets of her life on social media. She loves John Williams' film scores, collecting vintage coffee mugs, and staying out of the sun.
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
March 9, 2026
This book healed parts of my heart I didn't know needed healing 🥹
This was a funny, informative and important read. I love Rory's humour and how relatable all of her experiences are. There are parts to this book that are super important such as being open with your partner about sex, practicing safe sex and information about what dating a narcissistic looks likes.
over all I loved this so much and I was so lucky to be sent a copy. Thank you Rory for being so honest and holding your experiences with humour!
This was a funny, informative and important read. I love Rory's humour and how relatable all of her experiences are. There are parts to this book that are super important such as being open with your partner about sex, practicing safe sex and information about what dating a narcissistic looks likes.
over all I loved this so much and I was so lucky to be sent a copy. Thank you Rory for being so honest and holding your experiences with humour!
September 20, 2025
I received this book as an ARC in exchange for my honest review. Although frankly, I would have purchased it for sure, because I have been listening to Rory’s podcast for a while now and I follow her on socials.
As for the book, for the most part, I would have given it a 4,5 out of 5 stars rating, but there was one chapter that really tipped it for me. The one about the abortion. Rory, if you’re reading this, THANK YOU for recounting the experience in such detail, I can’t imagine it was easy. To every woman out there: do yourself a favor and read this book, and the chapter about abortion twice. Not that all women will have abortions, it’s not at all what I’m saying. But the truth is, we will sometimes face this super difficult choice in life and we need to know exactly what to prepare for. I mean, exactly. I honestly think that this chapter is PSA.
All in all, we’ve all been there, in one situation or another. I personally could relate to much of what Rory talks about throughout the book and, while I sometimes chuckled, I would most often just nod and go “That’s about right” almost on repeat. I’m pretty sure we can all see ourselves in the stories, which can only mean one thing: they can also help us improve. And we all want that, right?
Do yourself a favor and get this book immediately. The “aha” moments might just change your life.
As for the book, for the most part, I would have given it a 4,5 out of 5 stars rating, but there was one chapter that really tipped it for me. The one about the abortion. Rory, if you’re reading this, THANK YOU for recounting the experience in such detail, I can’t imagine it was easy. To every woman out there: do yourself a favor and read this book, and the chapter about abortion twice. Not that all women will have abortions, it’s not at all what I’m saying. But the truth is, we will sometimes face this super difficult choice in life and we need to know exactly what to prepare for. I mean, exactly. I honestly think that this chapter is PSA.
All in all, we’ve all been there, in one situation or another. I personally could relate to much of what Rory talks about throughout the book and, while I sometimes chuckled, I would most often just nod and go “That’s about right” almost on repeat. I’m pretty sure we can all see ourselves in the stories, which can only mean one thing: they can also help us improve. And we all want that, right?
Do yourself a favor and get this book immediately. The “aha” moments might just change your life.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 23, 2025
I received an Advanced Readers Copy in exchange for an honest review.
I keep going back and forth between 4/5 and 5/5 stars. I ended up choosing 4/5 because a 5/5 book is PERFECT and I do have some *imperfect feelings* about this book.
Things that work really well: this book is honest and vulnerable. it is well written and thoughtful. Rory is a girls girl, and does a great job of mitigating the shame and judgement that accompanies challenging and common experiences often associated with being female. I also liked that she cited real research throughout the book. She also creates action by giving reflection questions and tasks at the end of each chapter so we can all incorporate some of these lessons into our own life and experiences. It's both memoir and self-help without being too much of either. It's relevant and personal and applicable.
Things that I struggled with: I do not like the cover. I know it sounds silly, but aesthetics and skincare matter (and a cover is skincare for a book). It was so realistic, and I saw the behaviors and personalities of Rory's horror stories in my own and my friends' relationships. Second, whether she meant to or not, I was left feeling a little hopeless about dating (men) and as though it's not really worth the risk. I know for a fact (or as close to it given that I only know Rory parasocially online) that Rory has close and safe relationships with (straight) men (even if just platonically) and that her female friends are married to "not horror-show" men. It would have been nice to hear a little but about her experience in platonic male friendships and witnessing healthy safe straight relationships (even if from the perspective of a heartbroken single person).
Regardless, this is 100% worth the read, and I would absolutely recommend this book to friends.
I keep going back and forth between 4/5 and 5/5 stars. I ended up choosing 4/5 because a 5/5 book is PERFECT and I do have some *imperfect feelings* about this book.
Things that work really well: this book is honest and vulnerable. it is well written and thoughtful. Rory is a girls girl, and does a great job of mitigating the shame and judgement that accompanies challenging and common experiences often associated with being female. I also liked that she cited real research throughout the book. She also creates action by giving reflection questions and tasks at the end of each chapter so we can all incorporate some of these lessons into our own life and experiences. It's both memoir and self-help without being too much of either. It's relevant and personal and applicable.
Things that I struggled with: I do not like the cover. I know it sounds silly, but aesthetics and skincare matter (and a cover is skincare for a book). It was so realistic, and I saw the behaviors and personalities of Rory's horror stories in my own and my friends' relationships. Second, whether she meant to or not, I was left feeling a little hopeless about dating (men) and as though it's not really worth the risk. I know for a fact (or as close to it given that I only know Rory parasocially online) that Rory has close and safe relationships with (straight) men (even if just platonically) and that her female friends are married to "not horror-show" men. It would have been nice to hear a little but about her experience in platonic male friendships and witnessing healthy safe straight relationships (even if from the perspective of a heartbroken single person).
Regardless, this is 100% worth the read, and I would absolutely recommend this book to friends.
October 7, 2025
I don't usually read self-help style books, but I have to confess I was sold by the title. However, I am not sure that this book can even be properly classified as “self-help” when it is closer to a memoir, with tales from the author’s dating history alternated with some advice and checklist questions you should ask yourself.
While the title is what drew me in, including horror tropes as metaphors for the different men felt very forced. Ex-boyfriend named Jack becomes Jack the Ripper and a friend who suddenly kisses her becomes a werewolf. The stories are great examples of different dating scenarios someone might find themselves in, but the horror movie character comparisons, for me, took away from the fact that everyone involved is very much human.
What I appreciate the most is how candidly she speaks about sex. There is a big focus in normalizing the subject and making women aware that the best thing they can do for their own pleasure is to be aware of their likes and dislikes. It also made me very happy to see both scientific journals and interesting statistics cited.
This was simply not the book for me, but I can definitely see how others might enjoy it. I am certain the tales can provide valuable insight and teach some women about certain situations that they might be better off avoiding in the future.
Thank you to NetGalley and Rory Uphold for the advanced copy. This review is left voluntarily and honestly.
While the title is what drew me in, including horror tropes as metaphors for the different men felt very forced. Ex-boyfriend named Jack becomes Jack the Ripper and a friend who suddenly kisses her becomes a werewolf. The stories are great examples of different dating scenarios someone might find themselves in, but the horror movie character comparisons, for me, took away from the fact that everyone involved is very much human.
What I appreciate the most is how candidly she speaks about sex. There is a big focus in normalizing the subject and making women aware that the best thing they can do for their own pleasure is to be aware of their likes and dislikes. It also made me very happy to see both scientific journals and interesting statistics cited.
This was simply not the book for me, but I can definitely see how others might enjoy it. I am certain the tales can provide valuable insight and teach some women about certain situations that they might be better off avoiding in the future.
Thank you to NetGalley and Rory Uphold for the advanced copy. This review is left voluntarily and honestly.
October 13, 2025
I’ve been a married gal for a very long time, so I never had the “pleasure” of navigating the LA dating scene (or really any dating scene), but A Final Girl’s Guide to the Horrors of Dating by Rory Uphold was still a BANGER of a read. She somehow makes modern romance feel both terrifying and hilarious, and she does it with zero judgment.
Rory’s voice reads like your funniest, sharpest friend, unfiltered, wild, and wise. She walks you through everything: spotting red flags early, breaking toxic patterns, embracing heartbreak, and becoming the Final Girl in your own story.
Whether you’re single, coupled, or somewhere in between, this book is for anyone who’s ever felt seen, burned, hopeful, or haunted by their own dating demons. I laughed, I cringed, I screengrabbed whole pages and sent to friends. If you care about love and surviving its chaos, you need to read this.
Rory’s voice reads like your funniest, sharpest friend, unfiltered, wild, and wise. She walks you through everything: spotting red flags early, breaking toxic patterns, embracing heartbreak, and becoming the Final Girl in your own story.
Whether you’re single, coupled, or somewhere in between, this book is for anyone who’s ever felt seen, burned, hopeful, or haunted by their own dating demons. I laughed, I cringed, I screengrabbed whole pages and sent to friends. If you care about love and surviving its chaos, you need to read this.
April 16, 2026
This book is incredible! Rory's dating stories are wild! The way this book is written is hilarious! As a horror girly, I love that Rory refers to all her exes as the likes of serial killers, werewolves, vampires etc and love the mentions of the horror movie tropes too. Rory also gives really helpful tips on how to deal with all these situations too.
Even though I've found my happy ever after, I really enjoyed this book. I think this book should be read by every person (over the age of 18) entering the dating scene to prep them for the horrors they might face and how to deal with them. I wish this book was around when I was younger!
I highly recommend this!
Even though I've found my happy ever after, I really enjoyed this book. I think this book should be read by every person (over the age of 18) entering the dating scene to prep them for the horrors they might face and how to deal with them. I wish this book was around when I was younger!
I highly recommend this!
September 10, 2025
Received an arc for an honest review.
Book: Humored memoir/self help
Im a horror, and horror/romance fanatic so immediately the title and premise captured me. The construct was a novel idea yet ringing to "Hes Just Not That Into You" while comparing the experiences to horror tropes.
I really enjoyed the humor and self reflection the author has. The writing is very well done and edited. I enjoy this type of self help book, where you can relate to the author and what they have gone through.
The cover is lacking and needs a upgrade to really catch readers attention.
Book: Humored memoir/self help
Im a horror, and horror/romance fanatic so immediately the title and premise captured me. The construct was a novel idea yet ringing to "Hes Just Not That Into You" while comparing the experiences to horror tropes.
I really enjoyed the humor and self reflection the author has. The writing is very well done and edited. I enjoy this type of self help book, where you can relate to the author and what they have gone through.
The cover is lacking and needs a upgrade to really catch readers attention.
February 17, 2026
This book has a really fun and creative premise, blending horror movie tropes with the awkward reality of modern dating. The humor is sharp at times, and the main character is relatable in her anxieties and frustrations. However, the story can feel repetitive, and some jokes don’t land as strongly as they could. While the concept is original and entertaining, the pacing drags in parts, making it harder to stay fully engaged. Overall, it’s an enjoyable and quirky read, but it doesn’t fully live up to its potential. ⭐⭐
September 16, 2025
This book is any girls guide to navigating the horrifying and sometimes horrifyingly funny, modern dating world. It is fast paced and full of wit leaving you feeling like you’re swapping dating horror stories with your best friend.
My favorite part were the questions at the end of each chapter to ask yourself. They were fun to do on my own and actually learned a lot about myself along the way!
My favorite part were the questions at the end of each chapter to ask yourself. They were fun to do on my own and actually learned a lot about myself along the way!
October 2, 2025
This book is so clever & and absolutely must read for all women, single & coupled-up up alike. You will extra like it if you’re a thriller reader familiar with the “final girl” trope. Rory’s brutal honesty is both refreshing & hilarious — but also hopeful. I laughed out loud so much throughout this. Thank you for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!
October 5, 2025
I hate that every one of these stories is relatable… Rory might just be the voice of a generation! This book perfectly intertwines millennial dating with classic horror tropes and refreshingly insightful and applicable personal development tools. This isn’t SATC or Mel Robbins - single or coupled, this is the red pill of millennial enlightenment that we didn’t know we needed
October 7, 2025
Super fun memoir by an LA 20/30something that connects the dating world to horror tropes. It's got great humor, but also depth.
Great pop culture for the "Scream" fans out there. But if you're experiencing dating fatigue, you will GET IT. My favorite part takes place in a literal haunted house. Oh – and the chapter about witches.
Great pop culture for the "Scream" fans out there. But if you're experiencing dating fatigue, you will GET IT. My favorite part takes place in a literal haunted house. Oh – and the chapter about witches.
January 7, 2026
A great insight into the world of dating and the different scenarios you can encounter. Told with humor and personality this was a really good guide to either read all the way through or even skim chapters that apply to you.
Thank you to netgalley and the publishers for providing me with an arc for an honest review.
Thank you to netgalley and the publishers for providing me with an arc for an honest review.
October 9, 2025
This book is relatable in a way that's both cathartic and hopeful. Ultimately, it leaves the reader feeling empowered to take control of their own romantic narrative. I couldn't put it down—every single woman needs to read it.
November 7, 2025
She really puts in to perspective the horrors of dating, often relatable even if wildly unbelievable (which is a comfort on its own) this is a funny uplifting tale of maneuvering your own heart! Recommend!
November 11, 2025
I loved this book. It was a perfect depiction of modern dating and an ode to self-love with just the right amount of “fuck the patriarchy”. This book was scarily relatable, comforting and hilarious.
November 14, 2025
Incredibly witty, genuine and real. I wish I was able to read this when I was single in my 20s in LA!!
December 9, 2025
OMG this book is funny, entertaining and tells the truths about modern dating scaries. But also offers fun practical solutions.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews