Michael LaFleur didn’t exactly live a Nick-at-Night kind of life. His military father was frequently absent, and that was a sort of mixed blessing. When his father was home, his mother was nicer, but dear old dad was fierce, with an unusually harsh sense of humor and a deeply brooding nature. When his Navy father was at sea, or simply away at port for long stretches, LaFleur’s mother became a walking study in psychopathy. Harsh, cruel, unrelenting, and seemingly without a moral compass, she dealt one harsh blow after another on a child she simply couldn’t love. The abuse was physical, verbal, and emotional.
Strangely, “Mommy Dearest” didn’t seem to treat his older sister in the same manner. Perhaps it was a matter of the sister standing up for herself and fighting back. But it seems to have been much more than that. What this author endured as a child should never happen to any child. Anywhere. Ever. Yet, to our shame as a society, we know that the system often fails these children, and they fall through the gaps right back into the hands of the very parents who abuse them.
By his own account in The Cloud Grows Thin, Michael LaFleur was an unusual child, learning to be nearly invisible when things would blow up in the household. He learned early to recognize the signs and triggers that led to disaster. In the case of fight, flight, or freeze, his method was the latter. As he got older, he realized that participating in extra-curricular activities like sports allowed him to be away from home even longer. So, he participated in everything he could as a lifeline to protect him from his home life.
For all the retchedness of his early years, LaFleur is actually quite brilliant and a gifted linguist. Upon graduating from high school, he immediately enlisted in the Army. He wasn’t a good fit there, so when his enlistment was up, he tried the Air Force, where they were grateful for his linguistic talents. However, he still wasn’t finding what he needed.
Then along came the woman of his dreams, a young lady named Christina who would truly turn out to be his soul mate. She had one caveat for dating him—he needed to attend church with her. He would have followed her anywhere. Christina and her faith were ultimately the pathway that he was looking for. While life did not become a happy-go-lucky event for them, it was always filled with faith, hope, and love.
It would be this change in LaFleur’s life, this opening up and accepting the gift of salvation offered through Jesus Christ, that became his strength. Throughout their marriage, the births of their two extraordinary sons, changing careers, and homes, it was always their faith they leaned on. This faith, this strength, would be their foundation as tragedy fell.
This isn’t an easy story to read. But it is intrinsically inspirational. Michael LaFleur could have turned out to be a derelict individual who either wound up in jail or dead at an early age, and everyone who knew him would have said he never really stood a chance. But he wanted more. He wanted a future, a home, and something to fill the empty space in his soul. How he found all of this and what he chose to do with it is what makes this memoir so unique.
This is more than a memoir of a terrible childhood. This is the journey one man took to find his way in a world that had nothing good to offer him. His struggles with his parents, even as an adult, and his fear of becoming a parent himself, afraid he would turn out like his father, are discussed in a visceral detail that’s gritty and raw. His search for purpose is a tough road, but a beautiful journey. I highly recommend The Cloud Grows Thin by Michael LaFleur, not only to fans of biographies and memoirs, but to anyone who needs a reminder that we do not have to be defined by our past or to anyone struggling to overcome past trauma.