Say Hello First: A Therapist’s Guide to Building Confidence and Finally Making Friends

by Bianca Cummings

Named an Editor’s Pick by Publishers Weekly’s BookLife Reviews (September 2025 Issue)

If making friends feels awkward, intimidating, or like something everyone else has figured out but you haven’t, you’re not broken. You’re not alone. You just haven’t been shown how.

“Social confidence is the trust that you belong, simply by being yourself, and without needing to prove it.”

In this warm, research-backed guide, licensed therapist and social confidence expert Bianca Cummings helps you move beyond loneliness, ease social anxiety, and build the meaningful friendships you’ve been longing for—without changing who you are.

The world is full of potential friends waiting for your energy to meet theirs.

Blending psychology, neuroscience, and emotional wellness, Say Hello First shows you how your internal energy shapes your external world. You’ll learn how small shifts in presence, mindset, and behavior can rewire your brain for connection and create trust—naturally.

Whether you're shy, starting over, or just tired of feeling left out, this book offers a grounded, heart-forward path to connection and belonging.

You’ll learn how


Understand the science of human connection

Discover why your brain is wired for connection—and how to use that to your advantageLearn the neuroscience of friendship through dopamine, oxytocin, mirror neurons, and emotional synchronyUse your emotional energy to create trust and emotional safetyDecode common blind spots like the liking gap, spotlight effect, and social comparison
Rewire your mindset and emotions

Break free from self-criticism and stop overthinking in social situations

Calm anxiety and feel more at ease in your own skin

Build genuine confidence—without pretending or performing


Apply real-world connection tools

Find new where to go, how to connect, and who to approach

Start real conversations (even if small talk makes you cringe)

Make others feel safe and seen—the true secret to likability

Read body language and project warmth with presence and intention

And explore why your dog might just be your most powerful ally against loneliness


This isn’t about perfection or people-pleasing. Each chapter includes low-pressure, science-backed tools like “How You Can Do It” summaries and quick, actionable steps you can try right away.

Whether you’re a teen, adult, or mental health professional, Say Hello First gives you the confidence, clarity, and heart to move from disconnection to deep connection—starting with one small act of courage.

289 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 28, 2025

About the author

Bianca Cummings, LPC, NCC, NPT-C®, is a licensed professional counselor, nationally certified counselor, and certified in neuropsychotherapy based in Fairfield, Connecticut. She helps people build confidence, overcome anxiety, and create meaningful connections by combining neuroscience and psychotherapy to support emotional healing, cognitive clarity, and personal growth.

Bianca has a private counseling practice, Bianca Cummings Counseling, where she works with teens and adults navigating trauma, life transitions, and low self-esteem. She integrates evidence-based tools with a compassionate approach to help clients feel empowered and grounded.

A longtime radKIDS instructor and passionate advocate for safety and self-empowerment, Bianca draws inspiration from psychology, neuroscience, and the power of human connection.

Say Hello First is her debut book—a heartfelt guide to helping people feel less alone and take the first courageous step toward friendship.