What it Means to be Me

by T. Kierei

I was supposed to die when I was five but when my parents gave me the chance to run, I took it. I didn't understand much at the time except that I needed to get as far away from my old pack as possible, so that's what I did.

After living in the wild on his own for twelve years, surviving on whatever he could manage to catch or scavenge, Tanner finds himself in a situation with a new pack of werewolves...one that he can't run away from this time.

Cole is a professor at the local university and alpha of the Moon pack. He takes his position very seriously, so when a possible rogue wolf is thought to be taking pets from the neighborhood, he has to act fast to stop it and keep his own pack's wolves safe from possible human hunting. When he tracks down the animal he expects it to be a sick or injured wolf that couldn't hunt for itself. What he didn't expect to find was an abandoned werewolf who needed him desperately...even if it didn't seem to think so.

(Amazon is currently glitching. If this book seems out of order when downloaded, just delete it and redownload to fix)

Genres: M M Romance, Shapeshifters, Paranormal, Abuse, Contemporary, Romance, Werewolves

225 pages, Kindle Edition

First published December 24, 2014

About the author

Kierei is an avid reader and has been writing for over ten years.
She has a blue merle aussie named Raquetball, who lives up to her name quite well.

One of her newer stories coming out soon is called Fox, a story about a sarcastic shapeshifter who learns first how to trust, and then how to love... with quite a few quips and squabbles along the way.

Reviews

[Jason Bradley · Rating 5 out of 5]

edb

[Ije the Devourer of Books · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love shifter stories and I am always pleased to find one that is slightly different to the usual fare. This was A lovely shifter story by a new to me author. I really enjoyed this and hope we get a book 2 soon with more 'peanut budder'.

[Joy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Strange reviews!!!! Awesome story!!!!!

Ok, first of all, I'm a huge fan of paranormal anything. Romance, suspense, horror it makes no difference, it's all about the release from reality. I've been hooked on the M/M romances for a while now and I've read more than a few. I avoid the novella ( under 100 pages) type stories because they usually consist of gratuitous sex with very little plot and barely any character development. I wanna love my boys before I see them naked and begging for it. This story seemed pretty straight forward till I read the reviews, which I almost always do, about 50/50 either love it (5 stars) or hate (1 star begrudgingly). I must say, I was intrigued. Ok, so I start out skeptical and quickly move to pleased then jump right into confused. I honestly think the negative reviewers were reading a different book than I was because there is no way you could rate this as a 1 star. The story is about Tanner and Cole learning who they are and who they want to be. I am not going to give away the story, because I feel you should discover it for yourself, but I will say that it is a sweet journey of overcoming obstacles, learning to care for someone more than yourself and realizing the happiness doesn't have to mean being in control. Thanks for the journey and the peanut budder!

[D · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yay! Want peanut budder!

[Theresa · Rating 1 out of 5]

Major Character Underwent Personality Change After the Major Plot Twist

EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTED. I loved the concept of two strong alphas mating and one becoming the beta. I wanted to see the struggle and development of their relationship. I wanted both MCs to create a strong D/s relationship with a new enlarged wolf pack. I wanted to see Cole take hold of his inner wolf and love Tanner like a lover instead of a son. I wanted to see Cole share his wisdom with Tanner and teach him how to be an alpha wolf. I wanted to see Tanner draw out the lover in Cole. I wanted to see Tanner grow up and take responsibility for himself and others. I wanted to see Cole interact as a beta with his loyal Moon pack. I wanted to see Tanner reunite with his parents. But NOOOOOOOOO.... that did not happened. It was worse. Cole regressed into a weak, mindless flunky. Cole exchanged his alpha position, human intelligence, and professorship to become a groupie follower of selfish, juvenile, unsocialized rock star Tanner. They both end up living in the human world, with Tanner submitting to the band's leader Ryder, his former rescuer/lover after Tanner ran away from Cole. Really bad plot development.

I LOVED this book, ready to rate it 5 stars, until Cole underwent a lobotomy when he sacrificed his alpha position to save Tanner's worthless life. Also, I waited a looooong time for the sexual tension to result in real live sex!!! Unfortunately, the only sex scene was brief, lack luster and hidden behind non descriptive words at the end of the book.

A much better novel is The Mark of an Alpha by Kim Dare which is on my Keeper shelf. I think I'm going to go reread that book right now to get the bad taste of disappointment out of my mouth.

[Xander · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was amazing. It's full of laughs, and the feels will seriously bring you up or down or feel your heart with so much love you feel like your going to explode. Tanner and Cole are so adorable. Tanner has come a long way, and I am proud to say this is one of my favorite books ever. I can read over and over.

[Relly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Was ok

I liked it, even though it confused me at times
Tanner is a cute character even though he is really a big kid. With his background he never really was able to ever be a puppy and that's use comes out now.
I love his addiction to peanut butter
Cute read

[Shannon Root · Rating 2 out of 5]

Could not get into it

Hurting each other and both losing their packs. Then one not growing up and the other forgiving everything. Just didn't get it.

[C · Rating 2 out of 5]

Had to force myself to finish, skimmed the last 20%. Almost as if the characters couldn't decide who they wanted to be and that was annoying. What happened to the Moon pack?

[VVivacious · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't really know why but I really liked this one and not only did it get me out of my recent reading slump but this book single-handedly managed to push me into a reading frenzy.

This book can be distinctly divided into phases - the first phase is childhood, then adolescence with all its experimentation and then adulthood with which comes responsibility and a desire to be and to do better - though these phases pertain specifically to Tanner they don't correspond to this age at the time of the particular phase.

I was instantly intrigued by the first phase with the rescue and the healing. I liked how the author moulded this phase with the growing pains and Tanner's Alpha behaviour causing rife with Cole. The next phase was pretty much adolescence with puberty hitting town and then the last phase where Tanner comes back for Cole.

Overall, the story kept me very interested and invested in the characters, I literally couldn't put the book down and read into the wee hours of the morning though I agree that the pacing of the plot is haywire but somehow despite that, I still enjoyed the story.

I liked this concept of the dynamic nature of an Alpha, of how with life and circumstances an Alpha might not be an Alpha anymore. I felt like this added a whole new angle to the story and I felt it translated nicely to the human experience where people are dominant or not depending on the different spheres of life.

Personally, I truly believe that Tanner is just an adorable dork.



A side note on its sequel (contains spoilers)

I started reading the sequel to this book which features Kine, the child-murderer and the villain of this book because I was curious as to how the author would redeem such a character and I read quite a few chapters when I realised the author's solution to that inconvenience was to not bring it up. I think that this issue would likely have been solved later in the book but it really wouldn't have made a difference in my opinion because if you want someone to read a book featuring a villain either his crime should be one that can be interpreted another way or the author needs to give a very convincing reason pretty early in the book to get me invested in the character or make the character and his crime new so that they are no pre-conceptions. But I had a lot of pre-conceptions and some 20% into the book, I realised the book could never have been worth my while as I watched the story ignore the gigantic rampaging elephant in the room.

[Arnar Hrafnkell · Rating 2 out of 5]

Disclaimer: I only read 66% of the book before giving up.

In all honesty, I'm being generous by giving this novel two stars.

The first thing that bothered me when reading this book is how quickly Tanner learns to talk to and understand others. Not only that, but he also starts college about a year, maybe two, after being found.
There are examples of children having lived among animals and in many cases they never learn how to speak properly nor do they integrate into society. The cases where the children learn human communication are few and far between. It should have taken Tanner years to learn how to talk, not to mention read or write.

The second thing that bothered me was how prominent Tanner's sexual aggression was throughout the book. He didn't take no for an answer and repeatedly kissed Cole without his permission. This would have been consistent with having lived in the wild for twelve years, but since he learns everything else just fine, how come he can't learn what such so assault is?
It felt like the author didn't even realise how problematic his behaviour was since it was always excused as being his "wolf instincts".

The third thing that bothered me was the many types of novels the author tried to cram into one book. On one hand, it's a werewolf novel. On the other, it's a teacher-student romance. It could also be about a boy becoming a famous musician. Why not stick to just one genre?

There were other little things that bothered me throughout the book, for example the fact that Cole's friends just stood there while he was being kidnapped and possibly led to his death. Also that Ryder and Tanner just seemed to suddenly stop being an item?

[JustBooks · Rating 1 out of 5]

Fast read, standard shifter romance.

[nikki brackenbury · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed

I really enjoyed this story. It was a little different from your normal shifter book . There were a few grammar/ edit issue but not bad overall .

[Annika · Rating 2 out of 5]

read this after reading Fox but I just could not connect to these characters and i didn’t rlly like them

[Kimberly · Rating 3 out of 5]

First 80% of the book was a 4-star read ... The early interactions were compelling. The character's growth had me glued. But the end was a mess.

[Natala Wolfsblood · Rating 4 out of 5]

What I want to say about this book was that it was very cute. The author does slip up a bit here and there with grammar or a misspelled word but that should not deter you from picking up this book. By far hands down my favorite character is Tanner. I love how he develops. Yes, he develops fast but when you look at the length of the book you have to understand why the time skip and why you don't get to see to much details of his journey to understanding the human world. Novellas are suppose to be short for a reason.

That said the ending left me a little sad because I was hoping that he would wind up with Ryder over Cole or maybe have both of them. He is the Alpha after all. Sometimes in wolf packs Alphas mate with more than one wolf. Though Cole does appeal to me though I found him to be a bit weaker than what I think and Alpha should be. Given though he was blinded near the beginning of the book by Tanner so it is understandable that he was loosing the will to fight.

There was no much in the way of sex for this novella. Which was fine because in the end the cuteness is what won me over. This writer does write good. People should not decide on a books merit on reviews. What works for one person is not what works for another. So I encourage everyone to give this book a try. If you don't like it, no harm done. Personally I am going to buy a copy of this rather than using the Kindle unlimited.

Remember if you want your favourite writers to keep writing. Buy copies of their work. <3

[Sierra · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was by turns cute, poignant, humorous, and complicated. I loved how the relationship developed and morphed between Cole and Tanner! The young Tanner, just learning about the whole world including how to talk, being so cute and frustrating is just genius. The author puts us right there where we're just as frustrated as Cole when Tanner constantly pushes boundaries and screws up. But we can also feel Tanner's frustration as he is driven by his wolf, who sees the world through instinct in a black and white way and doesn't expect to be denied or ignored. The time he spends with Ryder includes some humorous bits but I ultimately wound up feeling so bad for Ryder! I was surprised at some of the twists and turns that the story took--some things come out of the blue and others are saddening. I wasn't sure that I liked where some things ended up but I did really love the ending and great HEA scene. I would love to know more of their story--maybe in a follow up book? And don't forget the peanut budder! (That running joke was GREAT!)

[Mike · Rating 3 out of 5]

Puppy rescue story that was too overly contrived for me to enjoy

This story of a lost, feral wolf coming into his own under the tutelage of a steady, solid Alpha didn't come together for me despite having characters and a set-up that should be right up my ally. The interactions between the two men generally worked well, and Tanner's puppy-hood was beyond adorable with his silly, sweet child-like innocence. The backstories/plot developments didn't flow, but were rather so overly contrived just it impinged way too much on my enjoyment of the book.

Overly contrived developments included: a character going from clueless to a celebrity human and powerful wolf Alpha, an Alpha falling/sacrificing without enough provision for pack or position, long-lost parents suddenly slipping back into an overly-familiar parental role..

Still, I'm always going to love hearing the phrase "peanut budder!"

2.5 stars - rounded up for the "peanut budder"

[Kristen Stillwell · Rating 4 out of 5]

The first time I tried to read this book it was mess up but it is now fixed after rereading it I found that it was great there are so many wolf shifter books and a lot of them or the same just different packs this book was different it was about a wolf pup that escaped being killed by his pack alpha and lived wondering from place to place as a lone wolf raising himself for year.Close to death a pack finds him and help him get well. This book was good and at cert spots very funny ( Tanner's first time in a shoe store and all he can think about is how good they would taste) a lot of shifter books are page 1 they meet page 2 there in love. This was unique and worth reading I'm glad I got the chance.

[Kevin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a gay male werewolf story. I enjoyed it, but some parts seemed too juvenile. There's incredible violence that is easily dismissed and forgiven; perhaps that's part of werewolf culture. One of the main characters is immature and insensitive but his behavior is views as cute and he never gets called out for it.
I noticed some verb tense errors, a mixed-up word order in one place, and errors such as lead fir led and breath for breathe.

[Kathleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

as they say, totes adorbs. Complete with many puppy moments: wet puppy, puppy eyes, puppy licks and nibbles. The disconnect between the alphas made sense to me, although the change that takes place for/in Cole for the last 20% almost seemed a little unreal.

It was cute, there were errors in the writing, but worth the read and hopefully when that sequel comes out, they'll have a more thorough read-through.

[Howard Curzer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Several very cool ideas. e.g. Werewolves are individuals multiple personalities: one person, one wolf. Alpha male dominance getting in the way of romance. Some nice plot twists. Two gaps (little character description, even less description of scene and mood)gave the book an incomplete feel. As if it needed one more draft. Add a paragraph of description of scene or character to every page, and the book would become much better, IMHO.

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has been one of my favorite reads in a long while! I fell in love with many of the characters and felt like i was experiencing what they were going through too! I truly loved reading this book and several others by T. Kierei. I would recommend this book to anyone who wants a book that they could read for hours and want to read it all over again. Anyone who reads this book will fall in love with all of the characters and have a wonderful read!

[J · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars for making me laugh and smile so much especially with Tanner's character. A little confused as to why Cole who was 5 years older reverted to acting so much younger even if he was becoming more beta than alpha at the end. I find that Kierei does a good job with characters that at first aren't English fluent and leading them through the learning.

[joani · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good story but..

I felt this story fall into a few stagnant ruts and also felt the pull into right just to fall again. I really liked these characters and it was a great beginning but even the characters changed personalities as if someone else continued to write this book. Makes me think there's two different people with g this story.

[Lila Hunter · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was all over the place. The main idea was good, but the author couldn't control the pacing.

The characters were great and full of potential. The MCs relationship started good, but it felt mostly forced.

I really can't recommend this book. It's not bad, it just felt as a first draft.

[Dottie Mae · Rating 4 out of 5]

what it means to me by T. Kierei

Enjoyed reading this book very much. It was different in a good way with the characters of Cole and Tanner exploring their changing and evolving relationship of love.

[Betty · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars!

[Morgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This filled a craving of mine. I can honestly say that I have (and will continue to be) obsessed with shifters and with wolves in particular.

[M]

DNF at 66%

It started out interesting enough, but was all downhill from there. Stopped and returned it for a refund when I could no longer keep going.